AEE 1996: Make, Have or Get? How to Use Causative Verbs in English

This is an All Year's English Podcast, episode 1996. Make, have, or get. How to use causative verbs in English. Welcome to the All Year's English Podcast downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection, but with your American host, Aubrey Carter, the aisles whiz, and Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, USA. And to get your transcripts delivered by email every week, go to allearsenglish.com forward slash subscribe. When it comes to causative verbs in English, how do you know when to use make, have, or get? Find out today and learn why it matters that you choose the right one in English conversations. ♪♪♪ Aubrey, how's everything going? I'm great. I have a question for you. All right. It's going to be an interesting episode. Some grammar, some conversation skills. I have a related question. What have you had someone do for you recently? Oh, that's a good question. We both traveled, my partner and I both traveled to different places last week. And so we had our friend Jenna take our dog and then we had her drop him off at Camp Bow Well at Doggy Daycare after that. So we had our friend. Okay, that's a perfect example. Right? And when you say we had our friend do this, really what you're saying is you asked her to do that, right? Yep, we asked her to do it exactly. But it's such a native natural way to say we had her do it. Yeah. And this question, we're going to dive into it here. But this is so interesting because here's my follow-up question. Would it have felt different or would you have answered differently if I said, what have you made someone do for you? Oh, totally differently. Or what have you gotten someone to do for you? No, both are completely differently. Made someone would be like, I forced her to do that and gotten her to do it feels a little bit like I manipulated her. A little bit. Exactly. So interesting. So kind of the same meaning where all of them mean asked. But there is, there's this different implication for all of them. So we're going to dive into this listener question today and give you guys lots of examples so you know how to use all of these because this can create some misunderstandings, possibly give offense if you use the wrong one. Yeah, it's true. It's so true. But first guys, hit follow on the All Ears English podcast right now. We are getting super close to episode 2000. And Aubrey, we're going to have some very exciting things happening on episode 2000. We are going to hear our listeners voices on the show. I am so excited for episode 2000. How about you? How you feeling? Yes, absolutely. Right. That's one of the downsides of podcasting. We don't always get to hear your voices. So we're very excited about this. And for you guys to be able to hear some of the other listeners, what they have to say, it's going to be so fun. Yeah. So hit follow now so you don't miss a single episode of All Ears English. So where do we start today? Do you want to read the question, Aubrey, for a change? I'll have you read the question. Sure. Yes. Absolutely. So Asami from Japan said, I love your podcast the best. Thank you. I love that. I have all the podcasts out there right now. And then said, I have a question about causative verbs. I've been confused by the difference between make, have, and get to when they're followed by a subject and verb. If I say, I made my parents send me stuff, it sounds like I forced them to do it. Whereas I'm not clear about have and get to. I had my parents send me stuff. I got my parents to send me stuff. They both sound like I asked my parents to do it. Am I correct about that? Also, I'd love to know the difference between have and get to. I'd appreciate it if you could break it down for me. Thank you, Asami. We're going to have such a great specific question. Yeah, that could be confusing. Oh my gosh, I can't wait to break this down because you're right. They all kind of mean generally the same thing, but the meaning is so different. The meanings are the connotation, the feeling behind what happened between you and the person is so different, Aubrey. Exactly. If you actually got the definition from someone, they all would probably be asked, you asked them to do this for you. But like you said, there's so much implied, there's so much deeper. There's a lot of feeling here. A lot of feeling. So you want to make sure you understand the difference and use the right one to give the impression that you want to give. Yes. So we have some related episode, guys, that we recommend you right now. Go back, listen to those and then come back to this episode or listen to them after. Go to episode 1384, which is the state of state of verbs. Don't get flagged as a lower level speaker. There are certain mistakes you might make that would make people think your level is lower than it is. Right, Aubrey? Right. We're talking about causative verbs today. We're going to get into what that is. That episode went into state of verbs. So go check it out if you're at all unsure what that is. That was a great episode 1384. And what's the next one? 1961. Are you down? Two English phrasal verbs you should be up for. So go check out that one. That one sounds like a lot of fun. I know it was fun to record. So absolutely. Yes, we have lots of great phrasal verbs episodes. That's just one of them. So be sure to check out 1961. But today we're going to dive into causative verbs. These can be confusing. The difference can be subtle. So let's first share what that is, right? Yeah. Yeah. Cositive verbs are verbs that show the reason something happened, right? They don't indicate what the subject did for themselves. So in your case, Lindsey, you didn't watch your dog yourself this past weekend, right? It was something that you asked someone to do for you, something you got, someone to do for you. So the subject got someone or something else to do something for them. Got it. So causative verbs are allow, permit, make, force, require, have, get, and help. So you can see how all of these, they're all about having someone else help us with something. Yeah. And you know, on this show, we say that connection matters more than anything, and it does. But grammar also, you know, being correct in your grammar is important, guys, because it does have a connotation. It does give someone a feeling about you, about what's happened, about your relationships. Okay. Absolutely, right? Word choice is important. Sami is correct with, let's dive into number one here with make that if we say, I made my parents send me some stuff, or if you say, I made my friend, watch my dog, this implies you force them or required it of them against their will. And that's not what you would have meant. That's not what she means, right? If you make someone do something, it implies they're not doing it willingly or happily. Yeah. And so this, and this also implies obviously like a use of power, right? Right. So I'm kind of power. And so the example here is a good one. I made my kids do the laundry. So of course, if you're the parent, you know, you're disciplining your kids, you're trying to show them how to take care of themselves. You make them do the laundry. Right. Exactly. It's not going to be, I asked them or I had them do the laundry. It certainly can, but because you're a parental figure that you might especially say this if you've asked them a million times and they never do it. And so then finally you had to like threaten, threaten a consequence to get them to do it. Then it's going to feel that way, right? I had to make my kids do the laundry. I had to threaten them to get them to do it. Yeah. So parents or coaches, coaches are another example of someone that makes people, I think some coaches are sometimes on a power trip. Right. You might say the coach made her players run laps. And this feels very, yeah, with teachers, coaches, parents often will use the verb this way to make them do something because like you said, you're coming from a position of power or requiring it of someone. They might not like it. They have to do it anyway. I remember our coach would make us do lots of cross training on the tennis courts and college tennis in the hot days of the Virginia, August, you know, August humidity in Virginia and just like so many karaoke steps. You know, that is the karaoke steps when you cross training anyways, cross training on the tennis court, painful memories. So we won't go interesting. And this is the perfect verb for that, right? You didn't love it. You had to do it anyway. They made you do it. Yes. All right, let's go into a very different causative verb, which is have. Yes, exactly. So with a Sami's example to say, I had my parents send me stuff. This just means you asked them to do it. There's no undercurrent of forcing someone or requiring them to do something they don't want to do. This just means I asked them to do it. Right. It's like someone was given instructions like we gave our friend the instructions of, okay, on Tuesday, please bring him to camp at 9 a.m. And we've made a reservation. So we gave them instructions of what to do and we had her do it, right? Yeah. And if someone asked you who watched your dog, you probably say, Oh, we had our friend do it. There's no, you know, implication or there's no other really negative connotation there. Yeah. So for example, guys, she had her kids clean up their room. So this also could work. Right. It's not like we're always only using make when it comes to parents telling kids to do things. She had her kids clean up their rooms. You just gave them instructions, please click the name up your room. Right. Exactly. Right. And so this probably was a little bit of a different scenario where no one's being threatened. No one's upset about it. There's just like, Oh, can you guys go clean up their room, your rooms? And they're like, sure. Yes. Go. Then this is how we'd say it. She had her kids clean up their rooms. Sure. And what would be there's no threatening. There's no consequences. It's this is often how it goes with parenting. Luckily, it's not always a fight. It's not always a fight. And there is not always a manipulation that's required. Right. Right. Right. But that could be very. Parenting too, I'm sure. Or for teachers, another example, the teacher had her students complete an essay packet. And this often, you know, the things were asked to do. If there is a certain amount of willingness, this would be totally appropriate, right? Just say that someone had you do something. OK, so that's the second one. And the last one is an interesting one because it adds a lot of meaning, I think, in some cases, right? In some cases. So get. Tell us about that one, Aubrey. Yeah, so if a Sami said, like her example, I got my parents to send me stuff, like you said, there would be an implication of some manipulation. It implies they were convinced or maybe tricked. They were unwilling and somehow you got them to do it. Right. Like she got her teacher to raise her grade. So there was kind of a campaign that she had going on there, right? To convince them somehow. Yeah, there was a strategy. It was a conscious effort. And it just it communicates a little bit more intention than have or made. And then they got their parents to allow them to stay out late. Again, they plan for this. They figured it out. Yes, exactly. Right. Their strategy, like you said, there's manipulation. So all three of these are actually so different, which is crazy when you consider the actual definition for all of them is just asked like they asked someone to do something. But what was behind the question? What, what did you use to ask? Was there any strategy manipulation? Was there, were you requiring or forcing or creating some kind of negative consequence for someone if they didn't do it? Or did you just ask them to do it? And it really matters which one we choose. It really matters that we choose the right one. So people don't get the wrong impression. Right. Exactly. Right. If you think about all of Asami's examples are so perfect, where if she said to me, you know, I got my parents to do this or I made them do it. I'm going to get a very different impression than what actually happened. So this is language where you need to be very clear on the connotation, the underlying meaning so that you make sure to use the right one and don't create any misunderstandings. So I think our listeners would love a role play here so we can go a little deeper into each one. So Aubrey, today we are at the grocery store. We're shopping together. Right. Exactly. I'll start us off. OK. I had my mom send me her recipe so we can use that. Oh, perfect. I tried to get my mom to send me hers, but she didn't answer. My mom doesn't usually answer her phone either, but my dad was with her and he made her answer. Do you have that problem? I have that problem with my parents. They never answer herself. Like half the time they don't even see the message. They don't respond to text. It just doesn't work out when it comes to technology. I know. And in some ways I'm glad they don't feel like they have to have their phone right there all the time because I do feel like that's a better quality of life. It is. But it is frustrating when you want to get a hold of them. Yeah. Right. They're just enjoying their day as if it were the 1960s, you know, we're just loving life. No, right. More power to them. Yeah, more power to them. All right. I love it. So these are perfect examples. So you said I had my mom send me her recipe so we can use that. So this is just the straightforward one. Right. Yeah. It just means I asked her to send me a recipe. There's no, I didn't have to threaten her. I didn't have to beg. So I just asked her to send my recipe and I can say I had her send me the recipe. Yeah. And then this is interesting. So perfect. I tried to get my mom to send me hers, but she didn't answer. And I think we would more often use get when we weren't successful. Right. Yes. Like it is interesting this role play brings that up. Right. That is really interesting because that implies like it just didn't work. So it's essentially you could say I tried to have my mom send me hers, but that doesn't feel quite right. When we're not successful in our efforts, we would use get. Yeah. More often. That is interesting. And it's interesting to think about if it were a different scenario, it wasn't that she just didn't answer, but maybe it's her recipe. She doesn't want to share without the this also would work. Right. I tried to get my mom to send me her recipe, but she won't. She doesn't share recipes with anyone. Yes. And that's I know people like that. Usually that's share them with their kids, but they won't share them with anyone else. Right. It's a family recipe. They want to pack up to share family. I was like, exactly. I tried to get, you know, my neighbor to share her cake recipe, but she wouldn't do it. I love that. And then the last one you used made. What did you say? Mm hmm. So this is where my dad had to, you know, um, not that he would threaten, but he, even if he's just like, you know, answer your phone. He's making her do it. Right. So my mom didn't usually answer my dad's with her and he made her answer. Yes. And so, you know, that could be, we don't know. I'm just saying, you know, dad was like, okay, I got her to answer her phone. Yeah. We don't know how much he had to. Maybe she didn't feel like it and he had to talk her into it, had to convince her a little bit. Or maybe he just had to draw her attention to the fact that it was buzzing. She hadn't noticed. Yeah. He's making her do it in air quotes. I think these examples make it really clear for our listeners. Guys, if you have a follow up question and if you want an episode based on this, a follow up episode, send your question to Aubrey at allearsenglish.com and we will do a follow up episode. Right. Aubrey. Nice. Yes. So when we get listener questions about episodes where they're thinking of a deeper way to dive into something, something even more finite, even more specific or maybe they hear it used a different way. Yes. Those specific questions are so helpful to build episodes from. I love it. So what's a takeaway for our listeners? Yeah. Causative verbs can be confusing just like state of verbs and phrasal verbs, right? The differences are often subtle. If you use the wrong one, unfortunately with this type of verb, you can offend someone or definitely cause a misunderstanding. So today's tips will help you make sure you use the correct verb every time and that your meaning is clear. Right. If you're not a bully, you don't want other people to think you're a bully and you use make all the time. I made her do this. I made her do this. I made her do this. I made her do this. No, you're not. Right? It's not conveying the right thing. You want to convey who you actually are and what your interactions are like with other people in the right way. So people don't get the wrong impression. Exactly. You can give the wrong impression about yourself, right? Or if you're talking about interact someone else's word, someone else's interactions, you could give the wrong impression about what another person said. If you use the wrong verb to relay relay, relay, what they said. Yeah, I love it. So we're going to try to do more grammar episodes this year, right? Aubrey. So we want to make sure you guys have the grammar that you need to. Again, more grammar questions, send them into Aubrey and Aubrey, thanks for hanging out on the mic today. Yes. Awesome. See you next time. Take care. Bye. Bye. Thanks for listening to All Ears English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward slash fluency score. 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