Simplify Decision Making, Reduce Stress and Improve Your Life with Sahil Bloom
Hello and welcome to another episode of All the Hacks, a show about upgrading your life,
money, and travel.
I'm Chris Hutchins, and I'm so excited you're here today for an in-person conversation with
my good friend and second time guest, Saha Blum.
He's one of my favorite writers, and the life lessons he shares online are some of
the best I've come across, and his newsletter and Twitter are must-follows.
But today, I want to focus on a specific topic he's written about more than just about anyone
out there, and that's razors.
No, not razors for shaving, but these simple guiding principles or rules of thumb that
can help make decision-making so much easier.
We're going to talk about razors that'll help you make decisions with people and relationships
when you think about yourself, just general decision-making, whether it's work or home,
and how you spend your time.
There's a lot of great advice in this episode, and ever since reading Saha's first post
on the topic, I found myself using these razors regularly, and I'm sure they will add a ton
of value to your life, so without further ado, let's jump in right after this.
My fitness routine this year had a few rocky starts, but I am back into it now, and honestly,
one of the things that helped me get back is that I just added some new workout gear,
and if I'm going to buy more, why not have the best performance apparel out there, which
I think is Viori, and I am excited to be partnering with them for this episode.
Viori makes performance apparel that's incredibly versatile, everything's designed to work out
in, but it doesn't look or feel like it at all, and it is so freaking comfortable you
will want to wear it all the time, but it's not just for men, my wife is obsessed with
Viori as much as I am.
While my personal favorite will probably always be this Sunday performance joggers, I have
at least three pairs, I just got a few pairs of the core shorts, and three or four strato
tech tees, and I'm loving them.
Honestly, I can't think of the last time I went on a run, bike ride, or walk in anything
else.
The products are so versatile you can use them for just about any activity, whether it's
running, training, or yoga, but they're also great for lounging, running around town,
or they even have a few things you can wear for a night out.
Honestly, I think Viori is an investment in your happiness, and for all the Hacks listeners,
they're offering 20% off your first purchase, as well as free shipping and returns on US
orders over $75.
So you should definitely check them out at allthehacks.com.
Again, go to allthehacks.com.com.
V-U-O-R-I, and get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the
planet.
Saha, thanks for being here.
I'm so happy to be doing this in person.
I don't do a lot of these in person.
We're in New York City at Podstream, which I've never been to, but right in the center
of Times Square, but we are in a dark room between two ferns.
Yes.
As it were.
Yeah, we are.
So much about you written online for the past few years has had a big impact on me, and
every time I come into a conversation, I'm like, oh, there's so much.
But I got this advice from someone recently about travel.
They said, whenever you go to travel, pretend like you're going to that city a million times
for the rest of your life.
And just don't feel like this is your last trip.
So I'm going to treat this conversation like it's not our last conversation on the show,
so I don't have to cover everything.
So I thought back to one of the first content of yours that I'd read, and it was all about
razors, which at the time, I was like, I don't even know what that is.
And I felt like that would be a great place to start for this conversation.
But like everyone else listening, I'm sure people don't know what razors are.
So can you talk a little bit about what they even are and we can jump into why they're
important?
Yeah, absolutely.
So it's not for shaving would be the first thing I would start with.
I mean, a philosophical razor, the term is from philosophy.
And basically the idea is that it's a rule of thumb or some sort of decision making heuristic
that allows you to cut through available options and make a decision.
So the whole idea was like in philosophy, you can take a razor and it allows you to
like strip away any of the unnecessary things in order to cut through the noise and just
make a decision.
So Occam's razor is the one that if people know a single razor, Occam's razor is the
thing they've heard of.
And that's like the whole idea that basically simple is beautiful.
It's like if you have a whole bunch of hypotheses, the one that requires the fewest assumptions
is generally the one that is right.
If you're looking to decide which path you believe is the driver of some situation.
So I've written a bunch about razors and basically like extending the concept into a
whole bunch of different realms.
I think a lot about ways to simplify decision making.
It's always been something that I've liked.
You're sort of similar to that.
Like life hacks, right?
Are all sort of razors in their own way, shape or form like ways to make a decision,
cut through things that'll just simplify your life, hopefully like tools in your toolkit.
So that's been the kind of genesis of me writing about them in the past.
I think when it comes to my whole scope in life is like, how do I optimize everything?
I think one of the challenges you get into is there's just too much and you get overwhelmed.
So for me, I love these idea of razors rules of thumb to just make some of it a little
easier.
Yeah.
Although the risk is that you then have like a million razors, which would be the pushback
against this, which is like, oh, I have a million razors.
I can't remember a single one of them.
So the way I always think about these things is like tools in your toolkit, you don't need
to like know that you have all of those different wrenches or all those different things at
every single point in time.
You just need to like have your toolkit and be able to open it up and think about, okay,
what applies to a situation at any point in time.
And I don't expect anyone listening to go home back.
I got 17 razors to use in my life.
I did try to bulk them into a couple categories because I thought that might be helpful for
people to think, okay, I need to make a decision on this thing.
Is there something that might make this easier?
So the first one I thought about was related to people, the optimist razor.
Okay.
I consider myself an optimist.
So I like this one.
Let's start there and kind of go through a few people one and see where we get.
So the optimist razor is basically the idea that you should always default to trying to
spend time with optimists.
And if you have a choice between spending time with optimists and pessimists, you're always
better off spending time with optimists.
I originally came up with this during like the period of COVID when there was a whole
ton of pessimism out there around like, oh, the markets are going to hell, the economy
is going to hell.
And then there was like little shades of optimism and like kind of mid 2020 about, okay, but
a lot of these things are happening.
X, Y and Z that might be positive actually for the future.
Like the Fed was printing trillions and trillions of dollars.
And what I found was my initial skew was to pessimism and I was like, Oh, short the market.
Everything's going bad.
Everything's going bad.
And really regretted that after a few months when I realized that the optimists were actually
the ones that were getting rich by betting on things going well in that time period.
And so I started just thinking about, well, there's this little heuristic that pessimists
sound really smart, but optimists seem to be getting really rich.
And it all of a sudden cemented in my mind like, okay, there's something to this.
And really I want to be spending more time around optimists in general, but it's not
just about investing and making money.
It can be just who you want to hang out with on the weekend.
Totally.
That's why it applies so broadly to life.
And when I took it beyond that, I just started thinking like, who do you feel good when you're
around?
Just as a general rule of thumb, you're like, who do I get energy from?
Who makes me happy and feel good to be around?
And that tends to be optimists.
Like again, pessimists, they sound smart.
They have a whole lot of things and negativity, et cetera.
But being around people that are positive and optimistic about the future about what
it looks like in any arena just tends to feel better.
And what I find is that good things happen when you spend time with optimists.
They just have a better outlook on the future.
And if you believe that energy attracts energy, optimists tend to attract good outcomes.
What about finding people to work with more than just hanging out?
And it applies to another kind of area that I've thought about, which is originally from
Naseem Taleb, the author of Black Swan.
I forget what book it's in.
It's either in Skin in the Game or Anti-Fragile, where he talks about this whole thing of like
the surgeon and how you pick a surgeon.
And so he tells this story of like, you're choosing between two surgeons who are of equal
merit, assume like they both have the same track record of successful surgery, say.
And one of them like looks like this beautiful polished like Harvard Medical School credentialed
surgeon like perfect clean cut, everything's good.
And then the other one looks like a butcher.
Like he's got blood all over him.
Like he just doesn't look the part.
He's like big hands, whatever, like big beard scraggly.
And his whole thing is that most people pick the like nice clean cut surgeon when what
you should actually do is pick the one who doesn't look the part.
And his logic is that the one who doesn't look the part has had to overcome not looking
the part in order to get to where they are.
And so if they have equal merit, that one is actually the better one because they've
had to overcome not looking like they should all along the way in order to get to that
level.
And I've always thought that was like another interesting way of thinking about who to work
with because we do have all of these little like biases and prejudices that are in our
head and people that have managed to overcome all of those all on the way to get to where
they are tend to be great, great people to work with.
I don't know if you've ever done unconscious bias training, but it just kind of like opens
your eyes up to, okay, like even someone who might not think you have bias.
Yeah, bias for sure.
Yeah.
I mean, the statistics on those things are insane.
Like you can go on Google and just like look one up and do one of the tests quickly and
you can get like a score on it.
It's usually pretty shocking.
What about smart friends?
Again, like with people, the smart friends one is basically that if you have enough smart
friends talking about something, you should take it seriously.
And again, like a lot of these were for me derived from bad experiences, like where I
didn't listen to this.
And then I came to regret it again going back to early COVID, like all these smart friends
of mine were talking about board APYOT club as like a silly example, which maybe now
it's like not as much of a thing.
But at the time, it was like this NFT project.
I didn't understand what NFTs were, but I had all these friends that were talking about
it.
And I was like, dude, that sounds stupid.
I'm just going to ignore this.
Like that sounds super dumb, but I had multiple friends saying it over and over again.
If I had listened to them and done something about it, 12 months after that, I probably
would have made like a million dollars off of just putting in a little bit of money into
this thing.
And so I developed a rule basically that was if three friends that I consider intelligent
tell me about the same thing, I'm going to put like a little bit of skin into the game,
no matter what, even if I'm not going to go deeper on it, it just like gives me kind
of a hedge against looking like an idiot later on like I did with that one.
But again, it's just another way of thinking about drafting off of the intelligence of
your peer group.
Like if you have smart people that are talking about things and you're in these circles with
intelligent people that have domain expertise that goes beyond yours, listening to them
and taking it seriously when there's enough density and a single idea is usually a good
bet.
Presumably they have to be excited about it or just talking about it.
I think excited about it and domain experts.
You don't want to have your like coder and engineer friends maybe like weighing in on
like culture and fashion and being like, Oh, I'm going to listen to them.
You want it to be people like if they're in technology and they're weighing in on some
new technology like AI could be an example today.
If you have a certain domain within AI that a bunch of your smart friends are really interested
and excited about, it's worth taking seriously.
It doesn't mean you have to invest in it or do something, but it's worth at least digging
into it and trying to understand more because it might be like an asymmetric bet on the
future.
Right now I feel like this about AI, except I just don't know how to make that asymmetric
bet or maybe it's not even asymmetric anymore because what is it like?
Yeah.
A hundred million people are using chat GPT.
Is it really a hundred million people growth curve on chat GPT?
You can search it or I'll find the link and put in the show notes.
It's like Instagram grew to a hundred million users this fast and all this and you see
these curves like this and then chat GPT is just like a straight line.
Straight line up.
I think I've seen that.
I still just wonder with technology stuff like this, how much of it is that we're just
in a bubble of sort of like semi-nerdy people on Twitter versus true mass proliferation
of an idea.
I honestly just don't know.
I think chat GPT is probably across the chasm, but I used to wonder that like with web
three stuff, like if you go to like a normal person on the street like what the hell is
an NFT, right?
There clearly wasn't a mass proliferation of the idea.
The utility of chat GPT makes me believe that it is actually mass proliferating.
It's funny because I had this experience this morning.
I flew to New York today and I'm waiting for my bag to go through the metal detector and
I hear three TSA agents talking about AI and they're like, yo, I use this thing and it
creates song lyrics.
It creates art and I was like, okay, it's clearly crossed to the mainstream, but the use cases
everyone's excited about are not necessarily use cases that I think will drive business.
The challenge I have is it's something that I feel really passionate about being big and
have no clue how to bet on.
There's a pretty good episode of the All In podcast where they were debating how to invest
in this space.
These are some of the smartest investors in the world.
I can't remember which one said I still haven't invested because if you look at the early
days of so many of these industries, even look at social, the first few social networks
actually didn't work out.
So I'm frustrated because I feel like there's a there there, but I don't actually know what
to do about it.
If you're going to invest, you also have to separate it from hype cycle.
Like normally TSA agents talking about it, I would say is like really peak hype cycle
of something.
And so hype cycle drives valuations until like I have this fund where I invest in early
stage companies.
And if you were to look at like the average deal that says they're in AI company right
now, like the valuation at pre-seater seat is like $25, $30 million, which is very, very
hard to drive a return in the aggregate across an asset class.
And that's what I struggle with is like they're benefiting from hype cycle on their early
valuation, which hurts investors on the margin.
And so it's tough.
It's tough to like discern, okay, what's there?
What's actually just going to get eaten by whatever big company decides to do this?
It's tricky.
And most of them, by the way, are just doing like an open AI API call.
They don't actually have anything internally or proprietary about it.
And it's like, okay, you're just linking to another person's platform.
The number of companies that have pitched me a thing that's like, hey, we take a document
and we give you answers on it.
And I'm like, you're just monetizing this other API.
With like your own UI UX.
Although a lot of companies have been built in that general way in different areas where
it's just like, oh, we link to whatever platform we're using their back end.
So I'm not saying that company can't make money.
I'm just skeptical and investing in anything in these valuations.
Totally.
But to come back to Razer's, what do you do when someone comes to you with a crazy idea?
Oh, man.
So my favorite thing around crazy ideas is I think it was Paul Graham, famous investor.
He didn't actually frame it as a razor.
I turned it into a razor, but he wrote this piece on what to do if someone comes to you
with a crazy idea.
And basically his thing boiled down to two questions to ask yourself, are they a domain
expert?
And do I know them to be a reasonable person?
And if the answer to both of those things is yes, then you should probably take the
idea seriously because it might be an asymmetric bet on the future.
And I thought that was such an elegant way to think about this because it's very easy
to write off crazy ideas.
Like you hear something and you're like, you don't understand it.
So you're just like, that sounds ridiculous.
Like that seems ludicrous that that would ever happen or that the future would look like
that.
But if you slow down and you ask yourself those two questions, you can actually like totally
deconstruct the entire problem.
You're asking like, are they domain experts?
So do they understand this thing that they're talking about?
Like the area around this thing very, very well, if the answer is yes, move on to the
next question, which is, are they a reasonable person or are they completely ridiculous?
And if you know they're completely ridiculous, you're like, okay, maybe I'm going to hesitate
a little bit.
But if they're not, if you know that they're like a reasonable person and they do reasonable
things, now you start to take the whole thing seriously a little bit based on those two.
So I've always thought that that was like a really, really good way to cut through the
noise on it.
I find that my instinct is often to be like, that's not right.
Totally.
I think that's most of our common instinct when we hear anything, especially because I
don't understand it.
Like I'm not technical enough to know on most of these things.
And so when someone says something that sounds crazy to me about the future, what the future
is going to look like, what people are going to be doing, my default is like that's stupid,
no, no way.
And generally on like five or 10 year time horizons, anything I thought was stupid,
I've been completely wrong about like if there were enough people talking about like
esports, like someone said this to me, I don't know, it's probably like when I got to college,
someone was like, dude, esports, assuming the next big thing, people are going to feel
stadiums watching people play video games.
And I was like, you are an idiot.
I'm not listening to you anymore.
That was dumb.
And again, if I had bet on that in some way, that would have turned out pretty well for
me at the time.
And so now my new default is like, I take anything, any smart person says, at least
remotely seriously.
One of my razors was around like listening.
And the whole idea was like, if someone says something that is very different from your
beliefs, you should listen twice as much as you speak.
And that applies to this type of thing with like new investment ideas or like ideas on
what the future of technology looks like, just as much as political debates or anything
that you're trying to kind of educate yourself on, because generally our bias when we hear
something that we don't agree with becomes, okay, I'm just going to talk over them and
I'm going to tell them why they're wrong about this thing.
But if you flip the script on that, you say like, I'm actually just going to listen to
a whole bunch and at least hear them out.
Usually you end up learning something, even if you don't agree with them at the end, that's
fine.
But you end up learning something from how they're thinking about it.
The fastest path to living healthier longer starts inside, which is why I'm so excited
to be partnering with Inside Tracker, because they take a personalized approach to health
and longevity from the most trusted and relevant source, your body.
Inside Tracker was created by experts in aging, genetics, and biometric data from Harvard,
Tufts, and MIT.
Inside Tracker provides personalized health analysis and clear recommendations, plus an
action plan on how to live healthier longer.
Inside Tracker can also calculate your biological age, the rate at which you're aging, compared
to your chronological age, as well as ways to lower your biological age.
The thing I love most about using Inside Tracker for over a year is that they give you recommendations
on things you can control to optimize your health, like food, supplements, workouts,
and other lifestyle choices.
Also Inside Tracker just launched their courses series where they explore the science of your
health span and give you the knowledge you need to take the next step towards living
healthier longer.
Oh, and it gets better.
For a limited time, you can get 20% off the entire Inside Tracker store when you sign up.
So if you're ready to get a clear picture of what's going on inside your body, along
with science-backed recommendations to optimize what's not working, then go to allthehacks.com
slash Inside Tracker to get 20% off.
Again, that's allthehacks.com slash Inside Tracker.
I wish I could say I'm eating a fully balanced diet every day, but the reality is that I'm
not.
So I love having an easy way to get my daily nutritional insurance, which is why I kick
start every day with AG1 from Athletic Greens, and I'm excited to be partnering with them
for this episode.
AG1 has been in my routine for the past six months because I think it's the best option
for easy optimal nutrition out there.
You take one scoop of AG1 and you're absorbing 75 high quality vitamins, minerals, whole
food source, superfoods, probiotics, and adaptogens to help you start your day right.
Every morning I mix it up with some cold water, add a few ice cubes because it tastes so good
cold and head to my office feeling focused and energized for the day, which is a feeling
I absolutely love.
I also love that it has less than 1 gram of sugar and no GMOs, nasty chemicals, or artificial
anything.
To make giving it a try easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a free one year supply
of immune supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase.
All you have to do is visit allthehacks.com slash Athletic Greens.
Again, that's allthehacks.com slash Athletic Greens to take ownership over your health
and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.
Well, also I think one of your life hacks, so Zyla has this great PDF of 50 life hacks.
If I remember right, it's trying to be interested, not interesting.
Yeah, I mean, this is like a simple reframe, especially when you're young.
I definitely fell into this trap when I first like started my career.
My whole thing was like, okay, if I'm going to go to an event and I'm going to talk to
people, I really want to be interesting.
Like I want to talk about all the interesting things I'm doing or the interesting things.
The challenge is like on the margin, most people are not that interesting at 22 at 25.
Frankly, like most people aren't interesting for the first 10 years of their career.
You just haven't done enough, there's not enough experiences in your life.
And so my whole reframe around it is focus on being interested rather than interesting.
And being interested means you're listening to people.
It means you're asking follow up questions.
You're like diving down the rabbit hole with them to learn more about why they think certain
things or why they're interested in certain things.
And when you do that, people want you around because interested people are really fun to
be around because they're actually listening to you and they're actually asking follow
up questions. Most people at a cocktail event or at a party or whatever are just waiting
for their turn to speak.
You're like talking to someone, having a conversation and you see them sitting there
and they're just like, and then as soon as you get done, they're like, how do they
jump in with their thing?
And that's not particularly fun conversation partner.
So I just think it's a great way to stand out in conversations and to actually learn
things when you're in them.
And it doesn't even have to be if you don't have anything interesting, it can just be
to build more relationships.
Totally.
I just think it's a good way to live life in general.
You end up learning so much interesting stuff by just being interested and paradoxically,
being interested is how you become interesting because then you end up getting into those
cool situations.
You end up learning interesting things.
That's what you end up going and capitalizing on working on, et cetera.
And how do you start that conversation?
I think there was another life act, but just like how to start a conversation to build.
I just found myself in like a lot of meetings or situations where I was way over my skis
early in my career.
I've always just like been great about finding my way into like weird situations that I don't
belong in even like this last weekend.
I was at the Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting and I like had a chance to talk to Bill Gates.
In a situation like that, you're like, what am I possibly going to have to offer talk
to Bill Gates?
Like, I don't have anything interesting, possibly interesting that he would find interesting
or given who he has access to.
So what I found is that the best way to get someone like that talking and what would
otherwise be like a weird clumsy awkward situation is to ask them what they are most excited
about in their life right now.
And that can be like personal or professional.
They can take it however they want it.
And normally really successful people have something that they're fired up about at any
point in time.
And if you can get them talking about that, then it becomes really easy.
Like the pressure's off you.
They're excited.
They're like energetic about whatever it is that they're telling you about.
And then you can just ask follow up questions.
Like you can just dig deeper on stuff again to being interested.
And that becomes a much, much easier conversation with anyone.
And so what was Bill Gates' interest?
Well, Bill Gates' excited about it.
I actually don't know that I'm allowed to talk about the thing that he was excited about
in public because he was in a private setting.
So I actually don't want to share it.
Okay.
That was a fun conversation.
I mean, short, fun conversation.
And you like get someone that otherwise you would be like hi to to talk for five minutes.
That's like an amazing experience and opportunity.
It was generally around climate technology, something that he's working on.
It's funny.
I talked to Catherine Menchoo who runs this company called the Muse based in New York and
her power move in situations like this.
So when you're talking to someone that's more senior than you, chances are that person is
like, when is this going to end?
Yes, you can make them excited.
She tries to be the one that always ends at first.
She's like, oh, I'm going to remember that person.
I could talk to them again because they didn't just sit here and dominate my time.
So she brought up a time where she was at some conference and she was talking to Elon.
And in the middle of it, she's like, hey, you know what?
I got to go.
But it's really great to talk to you and just walk to what it is a power move.
She said it's like made people that otherwise would be like, when is this person going to
like leave this conversation?
It just like made it so much better.
Yeah.
And it makes it less awkward for them to have to end it too.
Like when you just do it, I also find by the way that like following up and sending someone
a book is like one of the best life hacks in the world because all of these like hyper
hyper successful people get sent so many like fancy bottles of wine, expensive champagne,
expensive bottles of alcohol, like super nice gifts that you couldn't possibly spend enough
money to like send them something that would stand out.
But if you send someone a book that really mattered to you with a handwritten note on
like personalized stationary of why you think it'll resonate with them and something from
the conversation that you enjoyed, you'll always stand out in their mind.
Like forever they'll remember that because no one really does that.
It's just an old fashioned thing.
So it's a great, great way to stand out with people.
Is there a book you've gifted the most?
Yeah.
When breath becomes air by far like probably 95% of the time that's the book I share with
people.
If you've never read it.
I have read it.
I'm like, oh man, you haven't?
No.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Well, it'll knock you out.
I mean, if you read it, like I read it on a plane for the first time and the last piece
of it, I was like full on crying on this flight and the woman next to me had to ask if I
was okay.
So don't read it in a situation where you're not comfortable crying.
Okay.
So to wrap up all of these kind of people related razors, I want to talk briefly about
Hanlon's razor.
Never attribute to malice.
What could otherwise be attributed to stupidity is the way that that is typically put.
So basically the idea is if someone does something, we have this tendency to say, wow,
they're acting maliciously.
They're acting negatively towards me or towards other people, whatever.
And we should never do that if stupidity is a potential argument.
So it's like the whole idea that we give people too much credit for being like malicious
actors when in reality they might just be ignorant or dumb or, you know, unintelligent,
etc.
This is a great one for Twitter.
In general, as like you read people sending mean comments or saying things and you're
like, oh, they're acting so maliciously and they're acting in such a bad faith way.
When sometimes you can just chalk it up to them being ignorant or stupid.
Is this similar to like assume best intent or like in the ballpark?
Because I feel like that's one I use a lot.
Yeah, I'd say it's similar.
Maybe, yeah, assume best intent is probably a nicer way of saying this.
I just always found Hanlon's razor to be really funny because it's just like if you are finding
that you're like thinking someone is acting in some bad nefarious calculating way, sometimes
it's just that they're just not intelligent.
You've written multiple posts with lots of razors in lots of forms.
I tried to pull some from the old post, some from the new post.
And that was a lot of things related to interactions with people.
And I'll link to those posts in the show notes.
What I like is that in a lot of those posts you say, hey, use this when you're deciding
who to hang out with use this when.
And so we can like there if you want to recap from this conversation.
The other area that you alluded to at the beginning is making decisions, which I think
is something that when optimized can really save you time because I know myself and a
lot of people listening spend a lot of time making decisions trying to get to the optimal
outcome.
So let's like talk about a few of these decision making ones.
Let's start with the arena.
The arena.
This all comes from like the man in the arena, Teddy Roosevelt's speech of like it's the
person in the arena that really counts.
And my whole operating principle around this is that you should always try to put yourself
in the arena.
And that takes on different forms in different areas of life.
But basically don't sit on the sidelines and sling rocks at people that are out there doing
things.
And so if you have a choice of two paths of how to operate, you should put yourself in
the vulnerable position in the arena because that's where you end up having the high upside
things happen.
That's like where real growth occurs and where you end up having those wins, except
you can't really win long term by sitting on the sidelines, especially not sitting on
the sidelines throwing rocks at people that are out there.
And you said this is the one you feel the most strong about in one of these posts.
Have you seen a lot of personal wins from playing this?
Yeah.
I mean, I think that like it's the most wins, but it's also the most emotionally draining
and trying sometimes because by putting yourself in the arena, you're exposing yourself to
the whole lot of people out there that do just want to sling rocks from the sidelines.
I mean, you've seen it, right?
Like we're sitting here.
You're producing this podcast.
You've been creating this for a long time.
You share everything publicly.
It's out and about.
There are going to be people that don't like it that criticize it, et cetera.
That's not fun.
You're like, mate, you're a very positive, optimistic person.
You're happy.
Like you generally are just like a good, positive guy.
And when there's random people out there that are reading your stuff or engaging with
your stuff and are like, I hate Chris, he's awful.
What a bad person, et cetera.
It's a weird feeling where someone doesn't know you and they're engaging that way, but
you've gotten so much upside from putting yourself in the arena and just consistently
putting things out there.
So I think it's like you have to be able to have thick skin and take it when you're going
to be putting yourself in the arena, but that's where the real winds actually end up
happening.
So for me, with my platform, with anything I'm putting out there, you're constantly putting
your neck on the line and exposing yourself to it.
And when you're sharing ideas publicly, that's like a very vulnerable state to put yourself
in.
The same thing applies to working in a corporate job.
If you're going to put your ideas on the line with your boss or with your team or however
you're going to do it, it's very easy to just sit back and let other people do that.
But that's not how you're going to end up progressing and making it to the next level
of whatever you want to do.
Any tips for how you take that negative feedback?
I feel like I'm fortunate because I don't love that podcasts are such a one way medium.
It's so much more effort to be like, oh, I was listening to something cool.
Now I'm going to go find that person's contact, send them a note.
So I tend to get pretty positive feedback because it's people that were pretty excited
about what happened and send an email.
And I reply to them, I know you replied a lot of, if not all the emails you get.
But a friend of mine posted on the close Instagram thing this morning.
She posted something online.
She's like, I'm just having a bad day and she posted a picture of Ben and Jerry's.
I'm having ice cream.
She posted photos on her close friends of all the DM she got.
And people were like, I can't believe you would promote a brand like that.
Or like, can't you eat healthier ice cream?
And I was just like, wow.
Like the internet could be a mean place, especially social media, which I don't spend a lot of
time on as much as I do recording.
But I know a lot of people have probably faced this, whether it's at work, throwing out
a bad idea, how do you take that?
Because I'm sure you've gotten a lot of it.
I think defaulting to empathy is the single healthiest and best way that I've found to
combat negativity.
Basically, when someone says something super negative on the internet to someone that
they don't know, it's pretty fair to assume that that person is not in a happy place in
their life.
Have you seen Legally Blonde?
This is going to be an embarrassing reference in the movie Legally Blonde.
She's like, happy people just don't kill their husbands.
They just don't.
I think about that with happy people on the internet.
Like happy people just don't comment mean things to other people's posts on the internet.
They just don't.
Like it's just not a thing that you would think to do.
Like you're a happy guy.
I don't think you would think to go and like attack someone that you don't know on the internet.
It's just not a thing you would do.
And so I tend to think that when someone attacks you with negativity, there's usually
something that's going on in their life that's tough.
And we don't know what that is.
And we're not behind that person's eyes.
And so I try to default to empathy when I read something like that, just like that
person's having a tough day or the person is in a tough spot for whatever reason and
not get all wound up about it.
I never engage or fight back on that kind of stuff.
Because again, it's like, I'm not going to convince them they're wrong.
I'm not going to make their life better or change it.
And so there's no point.
Back to some of the career stuff.
What about when you're faced with trying to decide between two paths you could take at
work?
So this is one from Navalle that I really like where he talks about making uphill decisions,
I think is the way that he phrases it, which is basically when you choose between two paths,
you choose the path that is harder in the short term, because those tend to be the paths
that work out better in the long term.
So it's like the whole like short phrase of hard choices now, easy choices later, easy
choices now, hard choices later.
And I think it's an interesting, although nuanced one, to be totally honest, as I've thought
more about this one over time, because sometimes choosing the hard path means that you're not
allowing yourself the time to think about whether there's an easier way to do it.
Like Tim Ferriss, who I know we both really like his work, talks about often, like, what
if this were easy?
What would this look like if this were easy?
And I think it's a really important question to constantly ask yourself, like, is there
actually an easy mode that I can play this game on that I'm just ignoring because I'm
like taking pride in doing it the hard way?
And as someone who's like sort of a recovering hustle culture, bro, from back in the day
in finance, I often missed the easy mode way of playing the game because I was so prideful
about playing the hard way.
And so I think this like uphill decision one is actually a nuanced one.
I need to think about more and that people should think about more of any time you're
doing something and it feels hard and difficult.
You should pause and ask yourself, is there actually an easy mode?
Like, is there an easy way that I can do this that I'm just missing out on because I'm grinding
away in the way that I am?
I sometimes think there's both easy and I sometimes think that gets caught up in like
cheaper, especially in a world of trying to optimize your life and your money and you're
like, oh, well, this is the cheapest way.
So I should do it this way.
Yeah.
Give me an example of that.
I've just talked about this on another episode.
I don't know if it will have aired at this point, but my wife and I are talking about
our children and we have a daughter who's about to be three.
You'll learn this a couple of years and she had this stint where she would just get out
of bed after going to bed and she'd say, run out the door, open the door and say, I have
to go to bathroom.
I need a stuffed animal.
Like she would just get out of bed constantly.
And my wife and I are like, okay, what do you do?
You go on the internet and there's a bajillion people who have an opinion about what to do
and it's hard to figure out what the right thing is.
So it's like, what's your manifesto?
Like, who do I trust?
When it came to a lot of early decision stuff, we just went to Emily Oster who's written
a few books about parenting and she's like, this way, you need to know about the expecting
phase, the baby phase.
But I didn't have something from her for this.
And my wife was like, well, I really like the content that this company called Big Little
Feelings puts out.
And I believe we use their course for potty training.
My wife's just like, I really like how they teach what they believe in.
So she took their course.
It was 30 bucks or something.
She's like, well, if this other course, it's $100.
And she was like, do you think it's worth spending $100 to get a source?
Because I really trust database of like how to handle every toddler scenario.
And she was like, well, what's the alternative?
So what we did was we were like, well, one alternative.
So I just asked chat GPT.
I was like, what should I do?
And the answer was like, OK, it was surprisingly good.
But it was like, do we want to go do a bunch of research or just trust this thing?
And so a part of my mind was spinning saying, well, I could go find the answer.
Like the answer exists on the end.
It's all its work.
And it's the cheaper one.
So I was both taking this uphill battle of like the hard work of me deciding what the
right answer is, but also the cheaper answer.
But my wife asked me, and this time she was in this situation I usually am, which is like,
she's saying I want to do all the work.
And what I learned is it was really easy for me to make a different decision when it wasn't
for me.
When I put a little bit of emotion in it, I was like, just buy the thing.
No problem.
It was an easy decision for me.
But for her, it felt so hard because she was like, well, I could do this research.
I could do it.
And maybe I'd learn more.
Yeah.
So cheap is not always cheap.
Like the thing I've always found is that the thing I think is cheaper is generally more
expensive.
And I find this with everything.
This is like me not being frugal too.
But I've always been big on just like, you know, my wife would ask like, we're getting
our new house here in New York and she's like, what furniture?
Like there's this furniture or there's really not like this furniture.
And I was like, just get the nice one.
Cause like, you're going to have it and like getting the cheap furniture sounds good when
you get it and it's like 50% cheaper.
But when it breaks, like we got cheap outdoor furniture and really nice indoor furniture.
Well, the outdoor furniture after one winter in New York now looks like crap and I'm going
to have to buy new outdoor furniture.
Now I'm going to have to get the nice outdoor furniture.
So this doesn't happen again.
Cause I don't want to replace every year would have been better off just getting the nice
one and taking care of it and doing that.
And so I've generally found that the thing that is like the cheap way of doing it, like
spending tons of time on chat, GPT researching all this stuff.
Well now I have the headache of having to like synthesize all of the stuff that I found
and convince my wife cause it's like what I found and she didn't find it.
I just would have been better off buying the course and spending whatever it costs because
it would have saved me so much time and so much stress.
So nothing makes me happier and you're an example of this.
I'm finding someone who's done all the research to come up with a bunch of, I'm not going
to go research what my razor is to be.
I'm going to take your list of razor.
I'm going to be like, I'm going to use this.
I feel about hacks with you.
Yeah.
So that's my gift is optimizing life.
Here's your synthesizing.
I get this kind of similar thing.
It's you know, you've got business advice, personal advice.
It's different advice.
Just maybe not as focused on deals and travel and optimization.
But when it comes to decisions, there was another one about rare opportunities.
This is an interesting one because I heard this for the first time from the founders,
two of three partners at the first firm that I worked at.
And basically they were two younger guys who spun out from their prior firm with one
of the founders of that prior firm to start a new one.
And they were like 30 when they spun out and got to be co-founders of this new private
equity fund.
And I asked them how they thought about that decision.
And the way that he said it was there are certain opportunities in life that you get
on average zero to one time in your life.
Like the average person gets zero to one.
And so if you're one of the lucky people that gets that one chance, that one opportunity
for this really rare opportunity, you have to jump at it.
And he was like starting your own private equity fund is an opportunity that you get
zero to one times in your life.
And so the fact that he was getting it, he was like, I have to go do this.
Even though he was on the safe track doing really well at his prior firm.
And I remember registering that as very, very interesting.
And then when I was thinking about my own opportunity to go and kind of build this ecosystem
and the thing that I was working on, it was a really key factor in me deciding to kind
of go all in and do it because I felt like, okay, I might get one chance to do this unique
thing while I'm on a growth curve and things are going well and there's all this stuff
happening in the world.
Like this might be my one chance to go do the interesting thing.
Because if I don't, then I'm going to have like all this gravity around what I've been
doing and it's going to have built and we're going to have kids and it's going to be much
more challenging.
And so here's my like rare opportunity that has popped up and I need to just jump at it.
And I think it is like a really good framework for thinking about those unique moments in
life, just like being able to pause, recognize when you're having that unique chance and
to just sort of throw caution to the wind and jump at it.
And I think not overthinking the reasons not to do it.
So I look back, I was in college and I won't go to the whole life story, but I didn't know
what I wanted to do.
I didn't even realize that you were supposed to plan your job so far in advance.
So I was like springing at the end, like I got to go get a job.
I got to do this quickly.
And I got an opportunity to work at a investment bank in New York called Allen and Company,
kind of like weird, small boutique bank.
But the only job they offer was an internship.
At the time I was like one month into even knowing what investment bank was.
And I only went down that path because I asked my friends who were well more prepared
and said, what's the best job you can get out of college there, give us some banking.
I was like, I guess I should do that.
I don't know what I want to do.
And they were like, Allen and Company, it's not like one of the places you could just
get a job.
Kind of had this mystique in allure.
And I was like, do I take an internship?
Not a full time job, just an internship and see where it goes.
But everyone was telling me like, this is a rare opportunity.
You don't usually get an offer from a company that's so secretive and cool and especially
when you don't know what investment banking is.
I mean, I had read my vault guide.
I don't know if the vault guide still exists.
But back then, it was like, there was this book and it's like, read this and you understand
the industry.
So I took that.
That was one.
I feel like starting a podcast was one.
There have been a handful of times where I've quit a job to go do a thing or I don't
know.
We traveled around the world because we were like, this is a window to do it.
So I love that one.
How would that connect to minimizing regret on these rare opportunities?
Yeah.
I mean, the regret minimization framework, I think the first time Bezos talked about this
was in an interview with Walter Isaacson.
It might be like 1996, like way, way back interview.
Basically we're like super nerdy Bezos, not jacked out of his mind.
Bezos that we have today, like really nerdy Bezos is talking about how he made the decision
to leave D.E.
Shaw.
This relates directly to the rare opportunity, by the way, leave D.E.
Shaw, which is like this famous quant hedge fund where he was making tons of money and
like on a very certain path to make tens of millions of dollars in his life.
Amazing, amazing outcome in career.
Top point.
That's a 10% life.
Leave that to go start a bookstore on the internet, which makes no sense.
Again, like crazy ideas going back to connected to other razors.
And his whole thing was zoom forward to the future.
Think about like your 80 year old self looking back on this decision.
Will you regret not doing it?
And if the answer is yes, then you should do it.
And so that's what he did.
So he thought like, will I regret not taking this opportunity and going after this?
And the answer was yes.
And so he left and started Amazon and now we all get packages and 24 hours from drones
that are dropping them off.
I mean, I think it's like a brilliant general way of thinking about this.
I've often thought about it in both directions.
You're like, okay, you know, what would your 80 year old self say about this decision?
Also what would your 10 year old self say about this decision?
And the reason I think that one's good is because like your 80 year old self really cares
about the compounding of the decisions you make today.
And like how any decision you're making today is going to compound into the future.
But your 10 year old self also reminds you to like not take shit too seriously along the
way.
You're probably like this too.
You're an optimizer, right?
You're thinking through every decision, you're really thoughtful.
You're like constantly trying to get little bits of ROI out of everything you're doing.
That's great.
I think there's a lot of value that may glean from that.
At the same time, sometimes you just need to like have some fun and not think about
razors and not think about hacks and just like go have a beer and like sit on the couch
and not take advantage of whatever time you're wasting by doing that.
And I think that that always helps.
I call it the young and old test.
It's like you think about the decision as a 10 year old and as an 80 year old and then
sort of like meet in the middle.
You know, the Bezos thing like it ties directly to the rare opportunity.
It's like you have this one potential opportunity in your whole life to go do this thing and
you should capitalize on it.
And to your point on making these decisions without thinking too much about them, I've
often thought about that as a concept, which is like big decisions paradoxically, I find
are better made quickly versus slowly.
And there's this like desire when you have a big, big decision, you like, okay, I'm going
to sit down and make this big chart of pros and cons and spend all this time thinking
through them.
What I tend to find is that your instinct actually is usually pretty good.
And sometimes you just need to like open the door, jump out and like hope you packed your
parachute really well.
I think it ends up making for much better outcomes.
You don't waste so much time.
I did an episode recently.
I haven't aired it yet where I had a performance coach come in and we picked the topic and
we just recorded the session.
Okay.
And the topic was I struggle so often of like over optimizations like I've always decisions
to make.
And what he actually broke down through this interesting conversation using tactics that
we later in the episode talked about the tactics he was using was that a lot of times most
decisions are made emotionally, but you don't think that in the moment.
You're talking about big decisions, it's like you want to like make your pro and con
list, analyze everything.
And he's like, you need to stop and not just reflect, but maybe get outside and force yourself
into a different state because the emotional decision might actually be the easy way.
He was basically trying to teach me that this thing that we often think of as like our gut
decision might actually be more of like an emotional decision.
We talked about this exact example I used about my wife and this course.
And he was like, it was so easy for you to make that decision because you were thinking
about it emotionally, you weren't in the middle of doing the research.
And so my new thing is whenever I'm in the middle of trying to make a decision big or
small, I try to pause and then get myself out of the research phase, not pause and look
at my options, pause and look at my spreadsheet, but pause and like go outside for 10 minutes
and just think about like, what's the right decision here?
And sometimes it just comes to you.
It doesn't come to you when you're looking at the data.
It comes to you when you think like, what would the right decision here be?
It's interesting.
My reflection is just I've never made a single pro con list that actually swayed my decision.
Like in a movie, they make the pro con list and then they look at the list and like the
pros are like, there's 30 of them in the cons.
There's like three and you're like, okay, it's clearly a pro, but like that's never
happened to me in real life.
What ends up happening is I just like sit there and stare at something that looks relatively
balanced and then you just end up making a decision.
Anyway, it's not like it actually helped me think it through.
So I go back and forth.
I'm like you, right?
Like I have all these frameworks and mental models and razors, but it's not like I'm sitting
going through a checklist of them when I'm going and making decisions.
It's sort of again, things that are in sort of your mental toolkit that you're generally
thinking about.
But like to go back to one like the optimist razor, it's not like I'm thinking like, okay,
well, Chris invited me to do a podcast and Chris is an optimist.
So I should, okay, by this decision making, I'm going to go spend time with Chris.
It's just like ways to live your life that you just generally are trying to be around
optimists or whatever it is.
I try to avoid being mechanical about how all this stuff gets implemented.
It's just like general rules and ideas that you have floating around your brain that you're
kind of applying to how you live life on a daily basis.
I really like that.
I was thinking maybe I had a contact sorted by optimist score.
Yeah.
Optimist score Chris 7.2.
So okay, we're doing the podcast.
Now that I've left my day job and gone full time on the podcast, I've gotten even more
diligent about tracking my expenses and cutting my burn wherever I can, which means I'm regularly
monitoring rocket money to make sure there aren't any extra subscriptions I could cancel.
And I'm excited to partner with them for this episode.
With over 80% of people having subscriptions they've forgotten about, you probably should
also be using rocket money to help you find those forgotten subscriptions so you can stop
paying for ones you don't use and get a little extra savings each month.
Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions,
monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place.
It'll also categorize all your expenses from your bank accounts and credit cards so you
can easily track your spending in real time and get alerted if anything looks off.
And if rocket money finds a subscription you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel
and rocket money will cancel it for you.
It's that easy.
Over 3 million people have used rocket money saving the average person up to $720 a year.
Stop throwing your money away, cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the
easy way by going to all the hacks.com slash rocket money.
That's all the hacks.com slash rocket money.
When it comes to building wealth, taxes are such a big part of the strategy.
And even if you've already filed, being proactive about this year to lower your future liability
is so important.
And now that I'm working with Gelt, I finally feel like I have a partner I can trust to handle
everything for my business and personal taxes.
And I'm excited to partner with them for this episode.
Think of Gelt as the ultimate modern CPA.
They not only offer an amazing tech platform that gives you personalized guidance to maximize
deductions, tax credits and savings, but also everything is backed by an in-house team
of expert CPAs who can recommend the most effective tax strategies to minimize risk
and grow your wealth.
And best of all, you can have this transparent open communication with your team in whatever
way works best for you, whether that's on their platform, over email, in Slack or scheduling
a call.
Finally my favorite story is that when we first onboarded with Gelt, they reviewed our past
returns and found a huge mistake our prior CPA had made, so they refiled and got us back
all that money.
So if you're ready for a more premium proactive tax strategy to optimize and file your taxes,
you have to check out Gelt.
And as an all the hacks listener, you can skip the wait list and get started today.
Just head to all the hacks.com slash Gelt G-E-L-T again, that's all the hacks.com slash
G-E-L-T.
I just want to thank you quick for listening to and supporting the show.
Your support is what keeps this show going.
To get all of the URLs, codes, deals and discounts from our partners, you can go to all the hacks.com
slash deals.
So please consider supporting those who support us.
Okay, so we're not going to spend all of our time optimizing every decision we make, going
through these rubrics every time we do anything.
Let's talk a little bit about how we spend our time and how we choose what to do with
our time.
So one of the things I know you value is serendipity.
I have this concept of luck surface area that I've probably adapted from people that have
talked about it over a period of time.
The first time I ever heard, I think it was serendipity was this guy Tim Brown, who was
the CEO of IDEO, the big design firm.
And he talked about the whole idea of like engineered serendipity that you could like
create luck.
And it was the first time I had ever heard of it.
This is probably back in like 2010 or something like that, like I was in college.
And it always stuck with me.
So I've recently been thinking about like luck surface area, like the whole idea that you
can actually expand your surface area for having lucky things happen to you.
And how you do that is by again, putting yourself out there.
It's like, you don't get lucky sitting on the couch watching Netflix at home.
You get lucky by being out, engaging with people, meeting new people, publishing your
work, putting things out there into the world and seeing what can bounce off of it and the
connections that can be made.
And so my whole idea with the luck razor or with the serendipity razor is you should
always try to expand your luck surface area.
Like if you're going to choose two paths, like a decision to make between staying in
and watching Netflix on a given evening, we're going to that opportunity, the dinner, the
meeting, the people, whatever it is, or to publish something publicly rather than to just
like have it sit in your journal, you should take the path that has the larger luck surface
area.
And I think this applies mostly when you're trying to expand your luck surface area earlier
in your life and in your career.
Once you've done that and you've figured out where the right best opportunities are,
then you can start going deep and you can narrow it.
Like for instance, today I would probably choose to sit at home and relax and spend time
with my wife and son rather than going out and about to some big event because I don't
really feel like I'm trying to get lucky on things anymore.
I've sort of figured out where my luck has come from and now I'm just going down and digging
deeper into that area into that hole, but early on expanding your luck surface area
in any way, shape or form early in your life and career, I think is important.
I want to come back to how we do spend our time, but let's say you are going out and
I'm going to kind of tee up one other razor, which is there's two rooms.
How do you pick which one to go to?
The one where you're going to be the dumbest one in the room.
Always, always.
This is like a common thing that people say is like, if you're the smartest person in the
room, you're in the wrong room.
And I really do believe that putting yourself in uncomfortable positions where everyone is
smarter than you tends to lead to really interesting things, especially when you pair it with
some of the stuff we talked about earlier of like good ways to get those kind of people
talking, good ways to think about how you can be valuable to them, how you can stick
out in their minds, like walking away from the conversation.
Like you said, I like that one a lot of them to steal that, sending people books, etc.
Just getting into rooms where you feel a little bit uncomfortable.
That's where you end up having the most growth come.
I love just walking up to a table of people.
I'm like, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Let me just listen.
It's super uncomfortable.
Yeah, it is super uncomfortable.
And you could do it in a weird way.
But in the right environment, I think it's wildly interesting.
Yeah.
I'm going to this event and Santa Barbara in a couple of weeks.
And there's a lot of wildly successful people that it looks like are going to be there.
And I literally don't know a single person.
And today I was like, man, it's going to be really hard to go like and do this because
I don't even have like a wingman.
Like I don't have like a friend who's like my guy that I can like go around with or
girl that I go around with.
I literally don't know anyone.
And I feel like a total imposter going to this event because everyone is CEOs, like really,
really impressive people.
I had to like snap myself out of it and just say like, Oh, what a cool opportunity to just
be in this room.
And you can just go listen to people and add value in some other way other than talking.
I'm excited for it now.
But I want to come back finally to where we spend our time.
And you have a time billionaire razor, but you actually did a really great post about
this and looked at some data on how we spend time.
So maybe let's end talking about how we spend our time and how that's evolved for you.
This is a topic that's very near and dear to my heart.
You have young kids.
I have a, I guess by the time this comes out, he will be one.
And I have thought about time more in the last year than I had my entire life.
Part of that is because when you have a young kid, you all of a sudden start measuring time
in weeks and months, which you never really do otherwise.
Like people ask you how old the kid is.
And you say like six weeks or nine weeks or 12 weeks, whatever.
I've never thought about the passage of weeks as a passage of time in the passage.
It's just like another week.
A lot of people have now seen that like life calendar, like momentum, mori calendar, where
it's 52 rows across and it's 80 rows down.
So it represents your entire life.
Every row is a year and 80 rows is your life.
And you fill in black every week that goes by.
So you can literally see the passage of your life passage of time.
So I've been thinking about this stuff more and more over the course of the last year.
And I came across this American time use survey data set that I think it was our world and
data kind of crunched together to look at how we spend time over the course of our lives
and specifically who we spend it with.
They had kind of combined it into a single chart of all of these lines, like how much
time you spend with your children, how much time you spend with your parents, how much
time you spend friends, coworkers, alone, et cetera.
I went in and downloaded the data and split it out into individual charts that you could
really see like each line and kind of the curvature of each line.
And it was an unbelievably powerful image when you look at them individually, especially
with kids, how you like basically spend all of your time with them during this like very
short window of their life.
And then you falls off a cliff.
And the reverse of that is with your parents, you spend almost all of your time with them
over the first 18 years of your life.
And then it just goes like this and you're not spending time for the rest of your life.
And so it just brought to the fore all of these really difficult conversations, but also
I'm sort of empowering ones for who you spend your time with, who you want to be spending
your time with and how you want to sort of change the curves as it were over the course
of your life.
And so have you made changes in the last year as a result of thinking about this?
Yeah.
I mean, the biggest change we made was in May 2021, where we picked up our life and sold
our house in California, bought a house in New York and moved to be closer to my parents
and to my wife's parents.
And that was based on the initial realization of how little time we had left with our parents,
not because they're particularly old or sick, knock on wood, but just based on math and
their age, our age, how often we were seeing them about once a year.
And now I see my parents at least a few times a month.
They're like a big, big part of my son's life, similar with my wife's parents.
They're constantly around.
It makes a huge difference and it makes them so happy to be a part of our lives, to be
a part of our son's life.
So that was a huge life change.
And then the kids one is the biggest for me in terms of what is done in the last year.
This friend of mine, K, who has talked about the magic window, I think he calls it, the
magic of years, which is like this 10 year period of time where you are your kids favorite
person in the world.
And once they're older than 10, there are other people that feel that role.
They have best friends, they have girlfriends, boyfriends, they get married, they're going
to have kids, like they're going to go on and live their entire life where you as their
parent are not really like the central figure and actor.
But during this 10 year window, you are and they love you more than anyone else in the
world.
Yet we live in a culture where traditionally those are the years where you're also working
the most and like trying to make the most of your life and of your career.
We were talking about this earlier, like your life is really good, but you also want more
from your career, from businesses, your building.
How do you balance those two because anything you decide to do or take on is a direct trade
off of time with your kids.
If you're going to be grinding on some business or project or working, that's just time away
that you could be spending with them.
And so how do you figure out and find the balance of that?
I've been thinking about that more and more and more and being home during this like first
year of my kid's life and getting to spend tons of time with him and really build a bond
with him is meaningful to me.
And so does that mean saying no to a lot more professional things?
I mean, like I say no to 99% of opportunities that come my way.
And now I mean by virtue of the scale of my platform and how it's been growing, it's
a lot of stuff and a lot of financial things that I'm just turning down out of hand.
And for me, that's been a conscious decision of I don't actually particularly find myself
motivated by money all that much.
So I actually don't feel like I need much more money than I have today.
And we have a great house and we like our life a lot.
We're happy and I have tons of time at home and free time with my son.
And I actually wouldn't change that much.
Like if you offered to pay me today, $50 million to work 80 hours a week this year, I would
not do it.
Full stop like wouldn't even consider it.
And that's a pretty empowering feeling when you realize priorities in the tradeoffs.
But that I mean to me just like really being ruthless about what my north star is and
what I want to focus on has been a pretty liberating thing and a really meaningful thing
for me.
What do you think helped you not want to play keeping up with the Joneses, which I feel
like many of our peers are still feeling that.
I think the biggest thing is avoiding the like when then psychology around this stuff.
I saw a great clip of Dax Shepard recently talking about this and how he had all of the
trappings that he thought were going to make him happy and successful.
And he convinced himself all in the way that like well when that thing happened, then I'm
going to be happy and this will be great.
And then he got that and he realized he was like suicidal and not happy at all.
And so it was really liberating that on the back end of getting healed and treated for
all of that to realize, oh, those external things aren't actually going to ever make
me happy.
He saw it really viscerally.
Most people never have that.
You don't realize that all of those games you're playing in your mind like, well, when
I get to vice president or whatever, then I'll be happy because I'm going to be making
all this more money or when I get a million followers on whatever platform, then I'm going
to be really happy.
I'm going to have made it things are going to be good.
The reality is if you're looking for something external to be what creates your internal happiness,
it's never going to work out.
Happiness is full on inside job.
You have to be finding happiness from something that is a deeper meaning, deeper purpose,
something internal.
It can't be some external achievement because it just doesn't last.
You just revert to whatever the next when is that you're going to create.
So for me personally, I've realized that I stepped off the treadmill around all those
things.
I don't want more because I am motivated by growth, but the growth is an internal thing
versus an external thing.
It's not, hey, I want to make X dollars or do this or that.
It's like, I want to feel like I'm getting better at things.
And if that's getting better at being a dad, that's great.
If that's getting better at running because I'm like really into running right now, then
that's great.
But it's not, I want to get a better house and I want to get a better car and I want to
like that guy got this.
So I want to do that.
It's just turned everything internal in a much deeper way.
The way I describe it for me is I want to feel pulled into things instead of pushed into
things now.
And so I had a friend who was like, I want to start a company.
I was like, why do you want to start a company?
Yeah.
You've started a company.
You've done this.
You've been successful.
The more he thought about it, he was like, well, I feel like I don't know what I want to
do.
And I was like, just wait till there's a thing that's pulling you towards it instead of
trying to push yourself into it.
That's what I try to look for, which is ultimately why I left.
I was like, I just feel that I have to go do this full time.
Yeah.
And the other way to think about it is again, I think this is from Tim Ferriss.
He has this question of what am I saying no to by saying yes to this.
And I think about that constantly in the context of family and in the context of what
my priorities are.
And like, if my son is my number one priority in the world right now, then building a deep
relationship with him over this next 10 years and really, really having that closeness and
that bond, anytime some new opportunity comes along, I have to think that question through
and think about, okay, what am I saying no to with him by saying yes to this?
Like if some new travel comes up and someone wants me to go and speak at something and
it's going to require maybe even gone for a few weeks, what am I going to miss?
Like what am I going to be saying no to?
And it might be $50,000 that someone wants me to come speak at something and they're
going to pay and it's going to be this cool trip, but I'm going to get to go to this cool
place.
But if I'm missing his birthday party, like hell no, you know, like there's no amount
of money you could pay me, right?
And so really thinking that through and it might not be kids.
Maybe it's something else.
Maybe it's time with your family.
Maybe it's some hobby that you really enjoy or a trip with friends that you really wanted
to take that you're going to have to say no to because of some new work thing that you're
going to really have to dive into if you get the opportunity.
Thinking through those trade offs, I think is a really healthy thing to do, but it requires
you to sit back and figure out what your priorities are.
What are the core ways that you're going to measure the success of your life at the end
of the day?
That could be a whole nother episode.
So we're not going to go down that path.
But I will say that my hack here is I took a lot of time to craft what I thought was
like my perfect no email and then I made it a snippet so that I could just fire it off
anytime.
And someone's like, Hey, I really want to talk about this thing.
And I'm like, I'm heads down.
I should probably just publish it because people could steal it.
It's like I'm really heads down focusing on stuff that's important.
Feel free to shoot me an email, but not going to have time to meet.
Really appreciate you reaching out.
Means a lot.
Thanks.
I do the same.
And by making it easy, I use it so much more.
And honestly, the difference between thinking about it and having it as like a keyboard shortcut
level ease makes me send it so often and feel okay about it.
And I got this from Derek Sivers, who was like, if you're always busy and you can never
meet with anyone, you're kind of projecting that you can't prioritize your own time.
And if you leave free time in your calendar, you're able to take advantage of things when
they happen that are really interesting.
And so I'm trying to live by that.
It's hard because especially when you're younger, it's like every opportunity.
It could be more serendipity, more serendipity.
But I feel like as we have families and we kind of understand our areas, you've got to
really do it.
So I appreciate you saying yes to this because there's always so much knowledge that gets
dropped doing it.
Where do you want to send people today who are listening and want to stay on top of what
you're doing?
I guess my newsletter is probably the best.
sahobloom.com slash newsletter takes you straight to the newsletter, but everything's
on my website.
And then I'm on all social platforms at sahobloom.
The virtue of having a weird name is you get your own handle.
And messages only.
No, no, no messages only.
If you send me the mean ones, I won't reply, but I will feel empathy for you.
Amazing.
Thank you so much for being here.
Awesome.
Thanks.
That was so great.
And as much as traveling across the country takes a toll on you, I do really enjoy having
some of these conversations in person.
I really hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I did.
So please let me know what you think or share any ideas you have for other guests, topics
to explore or questions you have to Chris at allthehacks.com.
So quick reminder to anyone looking to get that 80,000 point sign up bonus on the Chase
Sapphire Preferred, it is ending soon.
So to learn more, head over to allthehacks.com slash csp.
Or if you're looking for any other cards and you want to support me in the show, you can
go to allthehacks.com slash cards.
All right.
That's it for this week.
See you next week.
Bye.
Bye.
.