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Hi, everybody. Hi, it's Chelsea and Catherine.
Hi, we're here podcasting.
Here in Los Angeles, it's finally almost summer.
Okay, yes, it is summer, even though it's going to be summer all year round from now on,
because our planet is dying.
Unfortunately, that is correct.
Welcome to the show.
Just a little uplifting positivity for your week.
Yeah, you know who's special I watched, Hannah Gadsby?
Yeah, not her new one.
No, I watched both of her.
I watched her second.
I had seen her first one.
I didn't realize I had missed one.
So there was a second one, which is fucking awesome.
And then I watched her third one, which is also awesome.
But the second one, she has the best closing line.
She is so good.
The second one is really good.
I would really recommend everyone's seen.
It's called Douglas.
I am just looking at this.
I saw something about it a couple days ago.
I'm going to have to check it out.
Yeah, when we're on the road, we just have like these transport fans.
They have TVs in them that we all, you know,
it's kind of like a mini tour bus for if it's like a two or three hour drive.
So we watch all sorts of stuff.
And we watched Jennifer Lopez's mother.
That was absolutely ridiculous.
It's the same movie that Eric Banna did when he was stuck in the woods with his daughter.
But now it's Jennifer Lopez.
And it's just ridiculous.
First of all, she's too beautiful to pay attention to any storyline.
It doesn't, I mean, I guess that's why they do these movies because it doesn't matter.
She's just like sparkly and glowing.
But it was just, uh, yeah.
So anyway.
I love a fun silly movie.
We watched a girlfriend of mine came over and we love to watch horror movies and thrillers.
We watched this movie called Fall, which is the entire movie.
Is these two girls stuck at the top of like a TV tower.
And they have to like figure out how to get down.
And we're like, how do you set an hour and a half movie up there?
But it was actually like had a surprising fun twist.
It was pretty good.
I like a good, bad movie sometimes.
You know what the best show that I've seen recently?
Obviously succession is in the top five, of course, all time.
Is Elizabeth Olson.
Love and death.
Love and death.
That girl is so fucking talented and such a good actress.
Everyone in that is so good.
Yeah, that was great, great television.
Have you seen, did you watch jury duty?
No.
Oh my goodness.
It's on Amazon.
It's like sort of documentary style.
It's about like they do a documentary of going to jury duty in LA.
And everyone is an actor except for one guy
who doesn't know everybody else's actors.
And it is one of my favorite things
that I've watched in a long time.
It is so fun.
James Marsden is in it as sort of like the actor
who got hauled into jury duty.
And it's really, really fun.
And everyone else is not a famous actor?
No, yeah.
Like a couple of people are from Parks and Rec,
or this that and the other thing.
That's funny.
That's an original idea.
Right.
And it just is the most charming, wonderful thing.
The guy who doesn't know that it's all a ruse
is like such a sweet angelic kid
who just like wants the best for everybody.
And just like everything is so many weird things
keep happening.
It's really, really cute.
I had something very strange happen.
And it was on Mother's Day.
My mother is always fucking with me
from wherever she is hanging out,
which is I think right over my head.
But I have these earrings,
these light earrings that I wear.
And I woke up in New York.
I was in New York last week.
I woke up.
My earring was gone out of one ear.
And the other one was in one ear.
And I was like, I lost that one.
I get home that night.
I don't see it anywhere.
I wake up in the morning and the earrings in my ear.
No.
And I was like, okay, well, I was either stoned
or drunk or something and I messed that up.
The next night, I go to bed.
I wake up the earrings out of the other ear.
I go in the bed.
I'm looking for like my earring.
I don't find it.
And I'm like, okay, I come home
and I wake up in the morning.
And my earring's back in my ear.
That's so on this style.
The second time I said to my security.
I said to my assistant.
I said to my crew.
I was like, guys, I just want you to know
I had no earring in.
There happened a third time.
I go, oh, my earring's missing again.
And I said to Carla, I'm like, I'm telling you,
this has happened two nights in a row.
I didn't say anything because it sounds so sick.
So crazy.
But so I kept it to myself because I'm like,
only I need to know about these things.
And I said, I just want you to know this earring's gone, right?
Guys, look at my earring.
It's gone.
And they're all like, yeah, you idiot, whatever.
And then next morning, guess who's earring was back in?
Shut up.
Three times it happened to me.
What?
What do you think it means?
What do you think it means?
This one is in and this one's out.
I woke up this morning and it's facing again.
What?
And so I'm just like waiting for my mother
to put it back in my earring.
It's so crazy.
Maybe she really likes that pair of earrings
which is inspiring us.
But that's something my mom would totally do.
I just didn't think they could touch you.
But who knows?
I mean, why not?
I don't know.
Do you ever have those like, oh, you do?
Like those little like stones and crystals and things?
Yeah, I meditate with crystals like a real hot mess.
Our, so Brad and I have a raky lady back in us,
we go Illinois.
And she's like, yeah, when you don't need them anymore,
they'll wander off.
And it's absolutely true.
They do.
And then sometimes they wander right back into your life.
It's the weirdest thing.
Oh, the people from the little rocks.
Oh, the little crystals.
It's like when you don't need them, they like disappear.
And then sometimes they'll reappear.
Like I keep some in my purse.
And like sometimes one of them will wander away,
maybe never come back.
And then maybe they'll come back like a year later.
It's the weirdest thing.
Oh.
It's weird.
That is weird.
Yeah.
Even Brad has a little, what do you call it your love rock?
Your, it's my adventure stone.
His adventure stone.
It's a good reminder of good things to come.
Chelsea, I have some very fun updates.
Oh, okay.
This email is from Julia, she says,
I was the private chef considering moving
to the Pacific Northwest on the psychic medium episode.
I made the move, still getting my footing
and figuring out a new routine on my own,
but I just listened to the Dylan Mulvaney episode
with Dane, whose trans,
and doesn't have a big community in Portland.
I'm a cis woman, but I thought I'd see
if he wanted to be connected just to have a friend,
especially since I'm new since February
and don't know too many people.
I live in Vancouver, so just across the bridge.
Thank you again, Julia.
And I got so many emails from people being like,
I'm in Portland, I'm trans, or I'm in Portland.
I'd love to reach out to Dane
and so I passed him along all of those.
Is that amazing?
Yeah, nice listeners, you guys.
It's way to build a community.
I know, I love it.
And I love it was just a caller from recently
who's gonna get connected.
Another update from Meg, who had the new baby,
she was Mormon divorcing her husband
on our Heather Gay episode.
So she says, dear Chelsea, Heather and Catherine,
I got to listen back to your advice
when the bad Mormon episode was released
and I needed to reach out to thank you.
Your advice remains as grounding and centering
as the day we met, even more so now
that my ex has a new girlfriend.
Chelsea was so right.
The fear of it was far worse than the reality.
We found a place for my soon to be ex-husband to live.
To fuck this new girlfriend.
Yes, outside of their house.
Thank you.
It's walking distance from my house
and we'll continue to co-parent
from a safer, emotional distance starting next week.
In watching my ex be free and date,
I think it's safe to say that as Heather predicted,
my horror phase has definitely begun.
I found myself a talented, super hot hookup for now,
who has graciously accepted the challenge
of scheduling casual sex around a mom's shared custody agreement.
I'm not ready for anything serious,
but when I am, I'll be sure to use
your incredibly kind remarks about my cuteness
to height me up before each date.
Please know, I was sitting in front
of a seasonal depression lamp
that would make anyone look super hot.
Also, my principal from a school I worked in years ago
called me up out of the blue
and is working with me to design a position at the school,
in which I will be a social, emotional,
behavioral coach for students
as I apply for counseling psychology programs in the fall,
which is awesome because that was like one of her concerns,
bringing in money.
Like I just contacted her.
Out of the blue.
That's called, that is called,
when you get your ducks in a row,
the good things come your way.
Yes.
Raising your frequency.
Yes, yes.
When you raise your frequency,
people with raised frequencies come your way
and opportunity arises and then abundance.
And this next line, I love, she goes,
very little is settled for sure,
but so much is taking shape.
I'm so grateful for your wonderful advice that helped
and is still helping me to stay patient and strong
in so many moments of uncertainty.
Chelsea, you mentioned in a recent podcast,
you'd like to hop off the karmic wheel for a while
and be a light worker or something.
Did I?
Did I?
Somewhere in there.
That was a pretty stoned.
I know what you meant and hope you're granted
a much deserved reprieved next lifetime.
But I also hope you know the work you're doing here on Earth
now is light work on a grand scale.
The ripples go farther than you'll ever get to see.
Thank you all for your kindness,
authenticity and light in the world
with love and gratitude, Meg.
That's so nice.
Very sweet.
This is wonderful.
Good, good.
I'm hoping this podcast absolves me
of going straight to the fucking hell.
I think so.
Well, Chelsea, we're going to head into our calling
in backup segment with BetterHelp,
who is sponsoring the segment.
And today, Courtney Copa is joining us
licensed marriage family therapist
and principal clinical operations manager
at BetterHelp.
Hi, Courtney.
Hi, Courtney.
Hi, great to see you both.
Hi.
Well, Angela writes, dear Chelsea,
before I go any further, I just want to point out
that I love my mother-in-law dearly,
but I really could use some advice on how to deal with her
in certain situations.
I need to rewind a bit before I was in the picture.
My partner, who's now 37, lost his sister to cancer
when she was just 15 and he was 10.
As anyone can imagine, this completely broke them
as a family and changed them completely.
We have a one-year-old little boy, and since having him,
I have so much more empathy for what they all went through.
However, every time we're together,
his mom breaks down in tears.
The crying isn't always about her late daughter.
Of course, I will always comfort and listen
when she speaks about her.
This will never be an issue for me,
but it can be over anything.
It can be over casual conversation about the weather,
about what books we're reading,
even what we may be having for tea that evening.
A lot of the conversations we have,
I find she often puts a negative,
Debbie Downer's spin on it.
She'll cry and get emotional at other people's problems too.
Even people she barely knows, but lately,
I just feel like every time we're due to see her,
I instantly start to feel miserable.
It's like I'm anticipating the emotions
that are about to come,
and I feel like the life and happiness
has been drained from me when I leave her.
She also has a tendency to make everything about her,
which is extremely annoying.
I completely understand why she has this dark side to her,
given everything that's happened in the past.
I'd never want her to feel like she can't talk
about her daughter to me.
I'll hold her hand and cry and laugh on the occasion,
but I can't deal with the constant downing
of everything else.
So, do you have any advice on how I can handle
this going forward?
I always try and make light of the situations,
but it rarely works.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, Angela.
Well, Angela, I can't tell you how many therapy sessions
I've had that started off with.
First of all, I want to point out
that I love my mother a lot dearly, but...
So, again, super common.
I want to say, I don't think this is a question about grief.
This is really a question about...
This woman is feeling trapped
and not like she can do anything about the situation
or that her efforts to change it in the past
had been unsuccessful.
And ideally, in a situation like this,
I would love to see husband and wife sit down together,
discuss this as a unit,
and perhaps even take two to three sessions
with a couple therapists to explore some solutions.
Because this is really about the husband, the wife,
and now they're new when you're old child as a unit,
deciding how they want to move forward
with the relationship with his parents
in a way that works for their family unit.
Yeah, I think that's good advice
because you do need like a team member
because she does feel so trapped.
Like the idea of having to hang out with somebody
that's such a Debbie Downer and knowing that it's an obligation
by way of marriage, isn't fair?
It's just not.
Only twoids agree, and then you've reached your limit,
it sounds like.
Right, and the general consensus
among most couples therapy experts
is that it's really important that an adult child
when they're now engaging in an intimate adult relationship
like a marriage, a domestic partnership,
they have to choose their partner over their parent.
And what I mean by that is
if something isn't working for their partner
or something's affecting their partner,
they have to prioritize their partner's feelings
over their parents in order to be able to move forward
and have a healthy, well not only a healthy relationship,
but a healthy adult experience
because no adult should be under the thumb
of their mother or father's will in perpetuity, right?
That would just hinder them as an adult
for the rest of their life.
So that would be what I would say about that.
But also I just of course have to say,
losing a child is of course considered
one of the most ultimate tragedies.
And of course is going to impact somebody
for the rest of their life in some way or another.
That being said, it is not this person's job
to be their mother-in-law's therapist,
to sit down and find solutions specific
for their mother-in-law.
So this is really I think about the husband
and wife having constructive conversations here.
Yeah, absolutely, because it is his responsibility
to get the situation started.
You know, it's his mom and when that moment comes
and you're like sitting around the table
talking about literally the weather
and she breaks down in tears, what's the move?
I mean, my instinct is to be like,
I'm going to give you a couple minutes, like,
they're there, I'm going to give you a couple minutes
and walk away.
But like that also feels a little icy cold from me.
What's the move to like sort of break the cycle
that she knows is coming?
Multiple times in every visit.
Right, in an ideal world we would have husband and wife
ahead of time deciding like,
hey, if mom starts crying or mother-in-law starts crying
at this visit, husband is going to step in
and he's going to take over or say something,
wife can excuse herself, whatever it is.
But let's just say it's just her and mother-in-law, right?
I don't think there's anything wrong
with deciding ahead of time.
What do I have capacity for?
If I don't want to go down this road
for more than 15 seconds or 35 seconds,
doing exactly what you said,
Catherine is totally appropriate.
Like, I hear you and I'm going to step outside
and get some fresh air.
You know, I'm going to go pour another cup of tea,
anything to pattern interrupt would be really useful.
But the other thing I would also encourage is
to have husband and wife ahead of time,
maybe start looking at the ways they're spending time
with mother-in-law and if there's ways they can redirect
that quality time together into avenues
that maybe won't bring it about as much.
Now, I want to acknowledge they might be limited,
they have a one-year-old, so it's not like they can take
the one-year-old and just like go to theater
or movies with the mother.
Yeah, have you talked about taking your mother's skiing?
Yeah, I hear Chelsea's good at that.
So they definitely want to do things
that are not just sitting and staring at each other
across from their cup of tea, right?
Because that's going to invite probably conversations
that they don't want to have.
So thinking ahead of time of what they could do,
having a plan with her husband that if it does come up,
what's he going to do to step in?
And then the last thing I'll say is,
if someone is going to speak directly
to the mother-in-law about her behavior or her grief
or how anything she's doing is impacting anyone,
it has to be from the husband.
I would say it would be very difficult
for that conversation to go well if it came from the wife.
And if it comes from the husband,
him and his mom have a shared experience of grief.
They both lost a loved one.
And so I think even for him to be able to say,
I get it, it's so hard.
We lost this person that we love.
And I'm working to be more in the moment.
And I'd love for you to be more in the moment with me.
Just something that relates to her,
instead of shaming her, blaming her,
I think will be really important here.
I really love that.
Well, Courtney, thank you.
Courtney Cope is a licensed marriage and family therapist
and principal clinical operations manager at BetterHelp.
And of course, thank you again to BetterHelp
for sponsoring, calling and backup.
Thanks so much for having me.
Thanks, Courtney.
Thanks.
So let's take a quick break,
and we'll be right back to take some callers.
OK.
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We are.
All right, our first two questions
are kind of two sides of the same coin,
so I was really curious what you'll have to say about this,
Chelsea.
Our first question comes from Michael.
He's in Palm Springs.
Dear Chelsea, I've been a sex researcher
for the past 20 years.
In my field, I've worked closely
with some of the smartest women possible.
I've studied women and men my entire career
from their sexual practices to their relationships,
to their use of vibrators and other toys.
My research partners have largely been women
and most of my true best friends are women.
However, I'm starting to develop a sense of anger
at some women, loud, straight women,
and I can't seem to shake it.
A few years ago, I left my academic career
to move to Palm Springs with my husband,
who got a job offer we couldn't refuse.
You know what that means?
Literally, everyone I interact with is a gay man in this city
and I'm rarely around women unless a friend comes to visit.
My husband and I go hiking several times per week
in the local mountains.
Almost every time we run into a group of young women,
loud, screaming women who literally never shut up
during the entire hike.
They're always screaming about some randomness
and you can just hear their voices
regardless of how far ahead we get past them.
They are pushing me over the edge.
If it's a woman with a man, the woman is always talking.
I don't understand why they can't just enjoy
the beauty of the desert and shut the fuck up
every now and then.
And it's not just hiking.
For some reason, every group of women
that comes to Palm Springs thinks that they are just
what gay men are waiting for to make their day.
They come into gay bars and packs
and literally scream the entire time
acting like they're doing something original
and that we should appreciate that they came to a gay bar.
On a recent podcast, you said you have a friend
who never shuts the fuck up.
So I know you can relate, but I do need some advice.
Am I just being a prick and becoming sexist?
Or is it really the case that some women
just don't ever stop talking?
I don't want to confront these women.
What could I possibly say?
So I'm just carrying around this anger and anxiety
about them instead.
Any advice you can offer would be much appreciated, Michael.
Hi, Michael.
First of all, this is a you problem.
Who is these women?
They're out in public spaces.
I understand that you want your bar to yourself
without these loud obnoxious women.
But you cannot, that's too discriminatory
to say you can't come in here.
I don't want you here on my hike.
I don't want you here on my gay bar.
Like this reminds me of an article I read over the weekend
about they were making in South Korea.
They have public spaces that are child free zones
where you're not allowed to have children.
But it's a public space.
And even I don't agree with that.
Children are a part of our human family.
You don't have to have them.
But you can't outlaw them.
Like if I mean, and this is me, everybody,
like we all know how I feel.
So like I was just like South Korea,
what the fuck, you're in a park
and they're like no children in this area.
I don't, I'm not.
It's not a private business.
If you have a business, fine.
You know, and you want to do that, that's one thing.
But public areas are for everybody.
Whether you agree with them or you disagree with them.
Now, why you're so irritated by these women
is an inside question for you
that you need to figure out.
Because sometimes you can tolerate people
that are annoying and sometimes people
can't tolerate people that are annoying.
And I understand, believe me, I'm a highly irritable person.
But you can't let people that have nothing
to do with your life impact you that way
because they're in hearing distance of what you're doing.
So you have to figure out a way to cultivate more patients
because if I know anything it is that patients is a virtue,
I have no natural patients.
I have had to work on it my,
well, I wouldn't say my entire life
because I only came to like grips with the fact
that I had no patients until later in life.
But I do exercise patients and it is a practice.
So you have to figure out a way
to let yourself not be so impacted
by other people's actions, behaviors, or sounds.
You might also have what's called hyperaccusis,
which is when you have very strong sensitivity to sound.
I think that's what hyperaccusis means.
I'm pretty sure I have that towards smell
and I also don't like loud sounds,
which is ironic since I'm the loudest one in the room.
I probably don't like the competition.
But yes, I think you need to figure out a way
to work on your patients,
whether that's through meditation or mantra
or going to therapy.
But you have to be tolerant of other people.
That's just the way this world is.
Yeah, and I do think, you know,
while he thinks that it's women,
I think Michael, you have to realize
like what you actually hate are bachelorette parties.
Like that feels like what this issue is.
Not in that case, you need to leave bomb sprays.
You need to find a completely different place to live
because that's where they're all headed.
I had a little bit of this going on,
where I was like sometimes young people
would be being loud or whatever
and I realized like I'm getting a little older
and I had to reframe a little bit and be like,
I'll remember when I was young and dumb and fun and loud
and I was just having a great time
and now it weirdly makes me smile.
Like when I see teenagers
and they're just sort of being obnoxious or silly,
I'm like, you know what?
Good for them, like good for them.
And if you can't outrun them on your hike,
just stop and look at some beautiful cacti
and let them walk on ahead
because that way you'll definitely,
like have a better chance of not being able to hear them.
But I do love that he wrote into two very loud women
up with this question.
So our next question is a little bit of the flip side of that.
This comes from Jolene.
Dear Chelsea, I was at your Spokane show
and it was great.
However, at the show I was on the first level
of the balcony and there was a group of women
behind and in front who were talking throughout
the whole show.
I tried really hard to ignore it
but my ADHD self couldn't.
It was very distracting and disappointing.
I love going to stand up
and for the most part, this doesn't seem to be a big issue
but when it does, it really gets to me.
It feels disrespectful.
Maybe I'm too sensitive.
How do you suggest dealing with this?
Do I suck it up as I did?
I know they paid for their tickets too
so I don't get any special privilege.
Should I say something in the future
and how would you recommend saying something?
The group of women behind me was clearly intoxicated
and I didn't want to say something
that would end up causing further disruption.
I know that people can be totally unaware
of how they're impacting others
and I'm sure that there were people around me
that weren't as bothered as I was.
Any thoughts would be appreciated, Jolene?
Well, I would say in that circumstance
that it's okay to say something to someone
because you're at a performance that you paid money for
and just because they paid money for their tickets
doesn't mean that they get to impede
you're being able to enjoy the show.
Right.
If they were being really loud, yes, you can go
and just very nicely say, hey, ladies, I'm so sorry.
Can you please, I can't hear anything
and you can try and do it in a nice way
and if they don't listen, then I would just go get security
and be like, I can't hear.
Like, that's what securities for.
Listen, there are a lot of drunk people at my show
and a lot of people get removed
when they can't control themselves
because they can't.
They're ruining the show for other people.
So, do you think that happens like every show
or like just some shows?
Like, I've heard this before where people are like,
I couldn't, I was sitting by these group of women
that were so obnoxious.
I mean, no one goes to a standup comedy show
to hear somebody else talk.
So, like, just, and that's, you can say that.
Well, and I loved this question too
because I had an experience like this a couple of years ago,
pre-pandemic, Brad and I had traveled to San Diego.
We'd driven for hours.
We had a hotel room for the weekend
and we went to see my favorite murder live.
And like, it's a podcast.
They're literally just talking.
There's no spectacle.
It's two people talking sitting in chairs.
And the gals next to us, they weren't drunk,
but there were three or four gals
and they just, we're talking at full volume,
the entire time.
And I eventually, like, nicely asked them to be quiet
and they were so pissed at me.
Like, they were really upset.
Here's if they're pissed at you.
You don't know them.
I know.
And when I hear anyone at my show,
like, if it's disrupting my performance,
I always call them out.
Like, shut the fuck up.
You're no one.
There's a thousand of people here
that want to listen to me.
Like, you're not, you can't get to talk right now.
That's not what this is about.
It's not interactive.
So, there's a time and a place, I think,
when you say something to people,
and absolutely, that is a time to say something to someone.
And in a nice, gentle way,
and if they don't hear you the first time,
then go get security and say, I can't.
You know, I don't, this, I'm not enjoying myself.
I can't hear anything these women.
I mean, people get removed from my shows
all the time for doing that.
And I would say also, Jolene, you know,
you thought you were probably the only one
having that issue with them.
Like, probably everyone else around you
was also annoyed, I would say.
Yeah, yeah.
As long as you don't start everything at like a 90,
you know, out of 100 and like, start coming up,
going, yeah, yeah, yeah, I need you to quite, you know,
like, as long as you're not approaching them like that,
and it's in a careful way, like in a thoughtful way,
then the reaction should be commensurate.
And if it isn't, then, you know,
you have to tell on them.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
little tattling never hurt anybody.
Well, our first caller today is Lee.
Lee says, dear Chelsea, help me decide which direction
I should take as I approach this fork in the road yet again.
I graduated with a BA in psychology,
but after just a couple of years
and a cross country road trip,
I decided to get my teaching certification.
I was looking for a dependable, respectable,
and stable job.
Unfortunately, nine years later,
this job has been anything but.
I have officially been laid off due to budget cuts four times
now in nine years.
I thought I finally found a great school,
but after only one year, I found out I was being let go again
along with 40 other teachers.
I was at the same old lines.
You're great.
It's not you.
We'll help you find another position,
but I've heard it all before
and feel so rejected and defeated.
Is it stupid to return to the classroom at another school?
This would be my seventh school,
or is it a sign from the universe to move on
to something bigger and better?
Maybe the universe keeps sending me
the sign that I keep ignoring.
Lee.
Hi, Lee.
Hi, how are you?
I'm good. How are you?
Good.
Good. Nice to see you.
I can understand why you're so frustrated.
Yeah, it's a big hit to the self-esteem as well.
Yeah, selfishly, I don't think we can afford to lose any more
teachers.
So part of me is just like, please just stick with it.
But talk to me about your life.
I mean, you say you think it might be a sign
that you're in the wrong.
You're doing the wrong thing.
I don't know about that.
I think that sometimes things get really tough
before you get to the place where you're supposed to be.
Right. And that's what I'm starting to wonder now.
But it's just like you get jealous of the people who, you know,
been able to stay at one school for since their whole career.
When I've been at like, probably six in the past nine years,
because there's just so many budget cuts,
surprisingly, in education.
What state are you in?
In New Jersey.
Uh-huh.
And is there anything else that you're thinking about
or contemplating doing for a living?
I've thought about going back for guidance counseling.
So then it's like still in the school
or just counseling in general.
I think that'd be cool.
But I don't know.
I look at my husband and like my parents
have these cushy like office jobs.
And I'm like, well, that seems kind of nice.
They haven't been let go ever.
And I'm let go all the time.
Yeah, I understand that.
I wouldn't give up on teaching
because you're doing such like it's
such a major contribution to society.
And if you really get what grade do you teach?
I've been teaching middle school.
But I actually just accepted a position
in an elementary school.
OK, so you're starting a new job?
Yeah, so I got let go when I wrote that letter.
And then, you know, I need a job.
I have two small kids.
So I started applying right away.
And of course, the teaching jobs are easy for me to get
because that's what my resume is.
So yeah, I got something right away.
OK, and is there any way you can do that
while you're also pursuing getting what would you,
what kind of credentials do you need
to become a guidance counselor?
It's a master's degree, which, yeah, I could.
But I would love for the school to pay.
And usually they won't pay until you've worked
there a couple of years.
I would say try and see, have you started this new job yet?
No, it starts in September.
Oh, well, that's exciting.
I think take this new job, really set an intention
about where you want this to go, how you want to impact
the children, how you want to be of use within this school,
and what you want to contribute, right?
I think you should start from that.
Really like set your intention
so that you're really mindful every day going in
and really putting your best foot forward and see what happens.
And if this happens again, then I would say, yeah,
then you can start talking about getting your master's degree.
I think you can still start pursuing that anyway
to become a guidance counselor.
I think that's a really helpful position for people to be.
And I remember my guidance counselor from middle school.
She saved my ass so many times.
So I have very fond memories of that relationship.
But I wouldn't take a product of what our society is dealing
with in the education sector as a sign
that you're not in the right position.
And I think sometimes when you stick it out,
right when you think you're supposed to quit,
it's the next thing that comes your way.
That's the best one.
Yeah, that's, I guess what I'm hoping.
Because I feel like I can't make the decision
to leave education kind of like you're saying
unless it's on my terms.
Like maybe I get to stay and I work three more years
and I realize, oh, I'm the one who wants to live.
Yeah, absolutely.
And how much, I mean, you're willing to make a go of this one.
Yes.
Yeah.
I would say just really go into this so wholeheartedly
as wholeheartedly as you've ever gone into anything in your life.
And really, because I think I'm not blaming you're being,
you know, these cost cuts are you being let go on you.
But I'm saying when you bring that energy into something
and it's consistent and it's really mindful, it works for you.
And you'll start to see the effect
that you're having on the children,
on the other staff, on the school as a whole.
That's true, that's a good point.
It is, it's just hard.
We don't give enough credit to like spirituality
and to energy and to like our vibrations
and what we're bringing and what we're taking away, you know.
You have the ability to impact so many little people's brains.
I mean, that is a privilege.
That is a privilege.
And that's my favorite part of teaching.
I just, more than teaching, I love being like
the guidance counselor almost, you know.
Yeah, yeah.
So don't give up yet.
Don't conflate you losing your job with you being a teacher.
You know what I mean?
Right, yeah.
I know it's hard to see those as two separate things.
And I get you like it is like, yeah, if it happens again,
then I would say, okay, but since we're talking,
I think you should give it one more go.
Okay.
I think also if you have the expectation of like,
this might be for one year and that's okay.
And then it might be for 10 years or 20 years,
you just don't know.
But if you have the expectation of like,
this is what's happened for the last nine years in a row.
And then you'll be pleasantly surprised
if it goes beyond that.
Yeah, that's true.
I had told myself that this was it.
And now I'm like, I got one more, I guess one more shot.
Yeah, one more shot.
We all agree one more shot.
And then from there, if that happens again,
call us back and then we'll reroute.
Yes, please do, please do.
Okay.
Okay, good.
Okay, sounds good.
Thanks for coming.
Thank you.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, she's so cute.
She was like, it's my daughter's field day today.
I'm like, I'll remember field day.
Do you remember that?
Yeah, when my mom would forget to pack me anything for lunch
and all the other kids had their shit.
I remember field trips.
I made a field trip so much.
Oh, mom.
I mean, it was nice to not be in the classroom,
but it was, I mean, my mom would never come
on those field trips.
You know, my mother signed up.
I'd be like, mom, would you come on a field trip?
She's like, oh, honey, no.
She's like, I've already been to the zoo.
I'm like, what?
I don't need to see those.
I went by the Liberty Bell.
We could ride to Philadelphia together.
I heard that the Liberty Bell is very underwhelming.
Well, it's pretty big bell.
Yeah.
I mean, they're having a little museum.
I don't think it's underwhelming.
No, it's fun and history.
I mean, all that shit is underwhelming.
Are you a museum person?
I prefer a museum over art.
Yeah.
I like history over art.
I like history over art.
Yeah.
I don't know what I'm looking at when I look at art, you know.
I just, I may as well be looking at a duvet cover, you know.
I just know like what I don't know how to interpret it.
I don't know the language of art.
I appreciate that it's there, but I'm a Philistine
when it comes to art.
I like art, but like for a little bit.
Like I love to look at something beautiful,
but then I'm like, I'm like, yeah, I'm like ready to move on
to the next day.
I've got about an hour in an, you know,
I'll look at art for an hour and then that's it.
Yeah, with museums, I want to read.
If I'm interested in the subject,
I want to read every single plaque.
Like everything, I love it.
You know what a great museum is?
Is the Broad Museum in downtown LA?
Well, I have a beautiful art museum
because they have different collections there and different
viewings and it's just so well done.
They have a huge art collection, the Broad family.
And they have a little restaurant next door.
That's really, it's just the perfect day.
It's called O-D-M-O-T-I-U-M.
And it's the perfect day to go down there to the Broad Museum.
That's the fun museum I like.
Summer is coming, everybody.
And we all know how difficult it is to find a swimsuit
that you feel comfortable walking around in.
I don't really feel comfortable walking around
in any swimsuit.
I prefer to sit in a very flattering position.
But I did recently get some new swimwear
from TA3 Swim and they are fantastic.
You've seen them all over the internet
and now you can get your hands on one yourself.
They are sexy, mega sculpting swimsuits
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Two lengths to work well for all torsos
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Amazing bus support in all suits.
Their underwire liftee style goes up to a cake-up.
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who wanted to eat what she wanted
and still look and feel hot.
Visit TA3Swim.com to check these out
and use Code Handler 20 for 20% off, one purchase.
Road testers and supporters alike
are lined up outside the United States Supreme Court this afternoon
as the decision in the most hotly debated case in years
is set to be delivered.
From I Heart Podcasts Supreme, the Battle for Row,
tells the story of the unlikely champions
behind the landmark case, Roe V Wade.
Sir, I graduated the top quarter of my class.
We just don't have a spot for you.
Starring Maya Hawk as 26-year-old lead attorney,
Sarah Weddington, for challenging the Texas abortion laws
in federal court and Academy Award nominee,
William H. Macy as Supreme Court Justice Harry Blackman.
My chief qualification being, I'm uncontroversial.
You know how we both ended up on the Supreme Court?
Politics, damn right.
This may be the longest of shots,
but it's also the last chance for a lot of women.
Time is not the most important factor, getting it right in.
I'm just trying to get you to stand for something, man.
Now go do it.
Listen to Supreme, the Battle for Row,
on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
She's a Hollywood Western.
She's Jack Kerouac, but in an app dress with braids.
She is one of the most important American children's authors
of the 20th century.
She's the basis for a television show
still watched around the world.
Somebody somewhere is watching a little less in the brain.
She's been called a hero, a racist, a feminist,
and a propagandist.
I think the harm is too great because it's just one more thing
that native children have to endure.
She is Laura Ingalls Wilder,
author of the book series Little House on the Prairie.
As a kid, I idolized Laura.
And last summer, I went on the road
in search of the real Laura.
We're literally on the prairie.
We're brave because we'll come on the prairie, huh?
What I found was a complicated person
alongside the complicated country she represents.
I'm Glenis McNichol, and this is Wilder.
Listen to Wilder on the I Heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
All right, our next caller is Celeste.
Celeste is 43.
She says to your Chelsea,
my five-year-old daughter masturbates with abandon.
We've had many talks about it,
and she knows it's totally normal and fine,
but that it's a private activity.
She usually respects the boundaries we give her,
but with this, she does not give a fuck.
She finds creative ways to do it at preschool,
at restaurants, around her older brother and his friends.
I don't know what else to do
without shaming her about her masturbation and sexuality.
Thank you for being honest about your childhood masturbation.
What advice would you give to your family
who knew what you were up to back then, Celeste?
Hi, Celeste.
Hi.
How are you?
I'm good, how are you?
Amazing, tell Chelsea what you told us
about the particular implement
that your daughter has been using.
Well, it's not just one, I guess, for stumbles,
but we have a massage gun, you know,
for post-workout,
recovery and what have you,
and she likes to take that into corners of the living room
under the blanket during family movie time,
and just...
Run!
That's...
Listen, you're not alone.
I did that for about two years straight.
We called it the feeling,
and I took whatever utensils or rulers or ladles.
I once sat at my Thanksgiving dinner with a ladle
in between my legs,
like basically jerking myself off for like three hours straight
during a Thanksgiving dinner when I was nine years old.
So, I mean, you know, not just so everyone's clear,
child masturbation is not inserting anything
into your joy now.
No, you're playing with your little fiddlebee.
Outdoor is only.
And it's also usually over clothing.
But I don't know, I don't know.
Because when my mom called me out,
I believe nobody understood what I was doing, right?
I thought the longer no one says anything to me,
I'm getting away with it.
Like, obviously no one could see what I'm doing,
but my discretion was became less and less.
Like, I started to get bolder and bolder,
and so everyone knew what I was doing,
but once somebody said something to me once,
I was done, but that was in a much different era.
So, I understand not wanting to shame your daughter,
but it sounds like she really needs to understand
that that behavior is fine,
but she's got to be in her room when she does it,
because I think you have to have a larger conversation
with her about what it means.
You know what I mean?
Like, that's a private moment, and you're totally allowed it,
but it's just not for family,
and it's not for strangers.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
Yeah, and I guess, so the reason I wrote in
is because I read your book and read that part of it.
We have had that conversation a lot of times,
and so if I ask her and I say,
hey, what are you doing?
She just kind of like, mm-hmm, and I say,
great, and where are you allowed to do that?
In private in my room, but she doesn't do that.
So, I don't know how to explain to her
at that age the possible dangers of doing that.
How old is she again?
Hi.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, that's pretty young.
You know, so I did a little research on this.
Basically, what they say is like,
this isn't even really about sex for kids that age.
It's about like, oh, like I don't wear a diaper anymore,
and I've discovered these feelings,
and like this part of my body feels different
than other parts of my body,
and it's just sort of like, it can be self-suiting,
which like, I know I did as a little four or five year old.
It can be, you know, just like, oh, this is fun and exciting,
but one of the best recommendations I saw was distraction.
So like, she knows she's supposed to do it in her room,
and there maybe is like, okay, like maybe it's time
for some private time in your room or in the bathroom,
and like having her go do that then.
But also just distraction, like, hey, you know what?
Let's go make some cookies
or something less time consuming than baking cookies.
Like, hey, should we go grab a snack?
Hey, should we go for a walk right now?
So it's sort of like redirecting
where it's not like, doesn't, you know,
not even saying anything about it.
Just like, you know, let's go over here
and do this right now.
So it's sort of like disrupting that pattern
when she's in public.
But the other nice thing that I read is that as she gets closer
to like, six, seven, eight, nine,
she will naturally start to phase that out.
That's obviously like, in cases like this,
where it's a normal cat, she will start to phase that out
and be like, oh, wait, I shouldn't be doing this
in front of my nine-year-old brother.
Do you, have you done that with her?
Like, when she is masturbating or whatever,
fiddling her bean?
Do you say, oh, do you like say, okay,
now we're gonna go in your room.
You can do that in your room.
I don't know if I've necessarily tried that approach.
Like, I've taken the massage gun away
and just been like, hey, this is not a toy.
This is for mom and dad.
And I'm like, you went and put it on the shelf.
But she finds her ways.
And she, I told Catherine this that recently,
she put on, she got dressed for school,
put on a pair of pants and said, oh, there's a hole
in my pocket.
And I said, okay, well, don't put anything important in there.
And she was like, now I can touch my vagina.
And no one will know.
Well, also the way that you said to me,
when you said to her that you said,
what are you doing?
Like, that's very playful.
So her response saying, ooh, like, that's also playful.
So maybe you need to be a little bit firmer instead
without being shameful or shaming her.
It's not a shameful thing.
But a little bit firmer, like, I told you, honey,
that's not appropriate.
You know what I mean?
You can do that.
This is the zone where you can do it.
And you can't do it outside anymore.
And if she does, you can just say, okay,
if that's what you want to do,
then you have to be in your room, right?
And each time be consistent.
Don't let her masturbate on the couch.
Don't let her fiddle or be in wherever she feels like it.
Anytime you catch her, go, honey, I'm so sorry,
but if you want to do that,
you can go to your room and do it.
And if you don't want to go to your room,
then you have to stop doing that, right?
That's a good point.
I didn't think about that she's following my tone.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and that way what Chelsea said,
like the boundary is not masturbating
or not masturbating, the boundary is, you know what?
Looks like you need some private time.
Why don't you go spend a few minutes in your room?
It's just like saying, I have to urinate.
You can't just do that wherever you want.
I mean, you can, but somebody's gonna say,
you need to go in the bathroom.
Like that's where you do that.
Just like she goes to the bathroom to pee and potty
and whatever else and brush your teeth.
There's a room further hurt, you know,
like you have to make it that clear.
Yeah, right?
Be firm and be consistent.
And I bet you, if you're consistent like the next 10 times,
it's not gonna be a problem anymore.
Yeah, I think that makes sense.
Yeah, I've just been nervous about her feeling,
like it's a bad thing, but I do think that
I've been probably too lenient about it, been too careful.
Yeah, it sounds like maybe you have.
But yeah, I think it sounds like what Chelsea said.
Minus the shame, but like redirecting,
like either to bedroom or, you know, distraction,
distraction, like let's go do something else.
Yeah.
All right, well, will you let us know how it goes
and clean off your Theragon, please?
Yeah, keep that Theragon away from her also
because those things are dangerous.
The thing is like punching.
Oh my God.
Yeah, you're not supposed to use those on your neck either
because I've heard some stories about people
saying they really hurt themselves really.
Yeah, like on your spine and your shoulders,
like you can do it and it gets really violent
if you put it on that high setting and it can hurt you.
So yeah, keep that away from her anyway.
Yeah, yeah, agreed.
Yeah, treat it like a real gun and put it in a locker.
Or okay, well, good luck.
Let us know how it goes.
Thanks a lot.
Okay, yeah.
Okay, thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
I was the queen of masturbation when I was a little kid.
Well, our next color is Gen-Hell.
Gen-Hell says dear Chelsea, the past few years have been tough.
I know, I know who hasn't it been tough for.
I worked a good amount of issues out through therapy,
but I felt as though I had reached my limit.
I was given a note for my therapist
for an emotional support animal,
but I live in a non-ped friendly building.
My puppy to lose has ever been a better dog name than to lose.
No.
To lose.
To lose towards or to lose.
To lose.
Like to lose a track.
Oh.
Has made a world of difference.
I can get out of bed in the morning with purpose.
She gets me out and about and meeting new people.
She's been such a joy and I love her so much,
but my neighbor hasn't felt the same.
Occasionally, she lets out a bark or two
when she hears certain people in the hall,
not everyone and not all the time.
I immediately run over to quiet her down,
so there really is only five to 10 seconds of a bark.
Not excessive in my opinion,
but the balls are thin and my neighbor still complains.
Over the past few months, she left a nasty note under the door
and has since complained to management twice,
which has now prompted them to find me.
Find her?
Find her.
She had a meeting in front of the board and everything.
Because of this, my anxiety and depression
has increased tenfold.
I had to start medication.
I even had my first panic attack, which mimicked a heart attack.
I feel so unedged and uncomfortable in my own home.
This is a condo building and I own a unit
and I'm starting the moving process because of this.
I felt bullied enough to move out.
In the meantime, do you have any advice
for how to deal with cruel people?
What should I do, Janelle?
Hi, Janelle.
Hi, how are you?
Oh, we're good. How are you?
This is Catherine.
Hi, nice to see you, Catherine.
So you're moving out?
I am, yeah.
My place will probably go up for sale this week
and then it's just kind of like the summer to look for a new spot.
Okay, well, that's good.
And what's the barking situation?
How would you rate it on a scale of barking when you're gone, right?
No, it's when I'm there.
So I mean, and I'm working, you know,
the same business hours as this woman, my neighbor,
and she'll hear, to lose will like hear something in the hall.
It'll set her off, she barks once or twice
and I immediately run over to call her down.
And then that's it.
This is not like excessive barking when I'm gone.
This is just once or twice like less than 30 seconds.
That's so annoying.
Yeah, you're a neighbor to that.
Yeah, that's so annoying.
I mean, listen, barking is very annoying.
Especially excessive barking.
So the fact that you're talking to me, I believe you,
when you say it's one or two barks,
like that's not the end of the world
and anybody can work on that.
And you have to have tolerance for that sort of thing,
especially when you're living in a building
with other people.
On top of each other, literally.
Right, right.
I mean, and like this is a building, I'm in Chicago
and so this is a building that was like built in the 70s.
The walls are very thin.
I have heard this neighbor cough through the wall.
I'm sure she's heard me, you know,
make a smoothie with my blender or vacuum or anything.
So like this thing and, you know,
to lose letting out one or two barks is, I don't know,
like you said, not the end of the world.
And when you said they find you,
how much money was that?
So I have a meeting with the board to be determined when
they haven't decided one,
but essentially I will like go plead my case to them
and then they'll choose what my fine is.
So this is what I said to Janelle as well.
I was like, is there a way that you can discuss
with the board like, is this actually a problem?
Because number one, you have rights
under the Americans with Disabilities Act
because she is an ESA.
She's an emotional support animal.
This is not a pet.
This is a dog that is helping you with a mental health issue.
And in addition, I think you need to be very clear
with them, she is not barking all day long.
Like it's five to 10 barks or five to 10 seconds of a bark.
Like you mentioned and then she's quieted down.
And I think you should work with them on like,
what is a good solution to this issue?
And should I advise someone when this issue is happening
so that they can come and actually see like,
she's not barking all day long?
I think you need to make it very clear to them
that like one person's word is not what is necessarily
happening.
We used to live above some neighbors
who would complain that we were so loud
and we walked with really heavy footfalls
and whatever, whatever, whatever.
Footfalls, what the fuck is a footfall?
Like I know Brad's really tall and big,
but like can you ask him to like step quieter?
Like in our apartment and finally,
one day our building manager asked us to like,
hang out in their apartment while they were gone
because there was like a service person coming.
I went down to check out their apartment
just to see how loud it was.
These people who were in their 20s by the way
had their entire apartment covered
in antique china dishes with teacups.
So every time we would walk, it would rattle the teacups
all around their apartment.
Was that a nice problem?
No, but they still complained about us.
So I think you need to make it really clear to them.
Like this is actually not an issue.
I know so and so feels that it is,
but I would be very happy to provide proof
that this is not an ongoing or persistent issue.
I have a question.
Well, I mean, what's the point if she's moving out?
Well, I mean, for the purpose of this interaction,
but what happens when you're jogged?
Do you ever leave your jog at home without you?
I have once or twice, you know,
I don't think she's allowed in the grocery store
so I don't bring her grocery shopping with me
and I've gone on a date or two and I've left her behind,
but I have a camera on her.
So I can check in like live feed on her
and she's always just sleeping
and I've taken screenshots of it.
So I know that she's not barking when I'm not there.
It's just that when I'm there,
she hears something in the hallway
and is confused at like who it could be.
Mm-hmm, right.
And when you come home from those instances,
does she bark when she hears you coming in?
No, mm-hmm, never.
Yeah, but so for this hearing, for so there should be no
fucking fine, you're moving out.
Like what, right?
I mean, you've already decided that.
Or are you for sure you want to do this?
I mean, I get it.
It's like shitty to come home and be like,
oh my gosh, I'm being too loud here and there and everywhere.
But at the same time, like to move and sell your condo
because of a complaint to one other from another person.
This was like the straw that broke the camel's back.
There's just like a couple of things
that I've like wanted in a new place,
you know, just Chicago old outdated kind of unit.
So looking to upgrade anyways,
but this was just kind of like the final straw.
And it's not so much that her barking gives me anxiety
because like, I'm not set off by loud noises.
It's like the fact that I might see this neighbor
in the hallway and she's already
a fanning, you know, under the door.
And I just like, I just don't,
it got so bad last week that like I actually had a panic attack
where I had to go to the urgent care
because I thought I was having a heart attack.
So just like the fact that I might run into her
just really, really gives me so much panic and anxiety.
Yeah, well, you should move A,
go move to a building where you see other dogs also
so that people have an understanding.
Make sure it's a dog friendly building, moving in.
And if you're dealing with this already,
it's older, this isn't the only reason
there are more reasons.
I always think change is good.
You know, you want to be around different energy
and different people.
And for the purposes of this stupid hearing,
make sure you bring up the disabilities act.
To do with disabilities act.
Yeah, that you're, that they have no right.
And that you're moving, you're selling your place
because of the stress of this woman.
Because of the harassment.
And you could fucking counter-suit her ass
or you know, counter-complain.
Yeah, I mean, obviously you're not going to file a lawsuit,
but it's like you're uprooting your life basically.
Yes, so you're not going to pay a fine on top of that.
Right.
The other thing too, I have a magic bullet here also
for your next place because I do think
it's a good thing to be like, okay,
I don't have to deal with this crazy person anymore.
I know we've moved because of crazy neighbors before.
One thing that my brother-in-law did in Chicago,
he's in Wicker Park, he had an issue,
a sound issue with a neighbor who was complaining
about like big, we're not being very loud,
they were complaining about the loudness
of the music and whatnot.
Well, after a few complaints from his board,
he decided to join the HOA board.
So now he is part of the decision making process
and he's a respected member of the community.
So I would very much recommend that the next place you go
if there is a board, condo association board,
whatever, join it first off.
And also it's very easy to get to lose registered
as an actual legitimate service animal.
So if the ESA thing, emotional support animal thing
is not quite enough for them, go service animal.
And then you're covered and you're covered for TSA too.
Oh, that's true, that's a good recommendation, thank you.
Yeah, I appreciate that.
Yeah.
Well, keep us posted, I would really like to hear
what happens after this meeting,
but I think very much advocate for yourself.
Like don't just take this all lying down.
I think you should say, I am a pretty my entire life.
Like Chelsea said, I'm not gonna pay this fine.
It's actually not an issue, you know,
she's making a mountain out of a mole hill,
but it's enough that I'm, you know, changing my life.
So let's let bygones be bygones that I'm leaving.
Right, yeah, no, that makes sense.
Thank you, I appreciate it.
And I will definitely let you know.
I haven't heard yet when I'm supposed to chat with them,
but I will keep you posted for sure.
Yeah, and also one person's version isn't,
like what Catherine said earlier,
one person's account of something
isn't necessarily accurate.
You should show them some video footage
or collect the video footage from whatever app you use
to record your dog.
So you can prove that Toulouse isn't barking
when you're not there also.
Yeah, yeah, I've definitely logged enough screenshots
of her, of her snoozing and her crate.
Yeah, great, great, perfect.
Okay, well good luck with everything.
Thank you so much.
Thanks, Chanel.
Thanks for calling.
Thank you.
Nice meeting you.
Bye.
Bye.
Okay, we're going to take a quick break
and we'll be right back to wrap things up.
Summer is coming, everybody.
And we all know how difficult it is to find a swimsuit
that you feel comfortable walking around in.
I don't really feel comfortable walking around
in any swimsuit.
I prefer to sit in a very flattering position.
But I did recently get some new swimwear
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You've seen them all over the internet
and now you can get your hands on one yourself.
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Patton pending innovation created by a fashion designer
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and still look and feel hot.
Visit TA3Swim.com to check these out
and use Code Handler 20 for 20% off one purchase.
Road testers and supporters alike
are lined up outside the United States Supreme Court this afternoon
as the decision in the most hotly debated case in years
is set to be delivered.
From I Heart Podcasts Supreme, The Battle for Row,
tells the story of the unlikely champions
behind the landmark case, Roe V Wade.
Sir, I graduated the top quarter of my class.
We just don't have a spot for you.
Starring Maya Hawk as 26 year old lead attorney, Sarah Weddington,
for challenging the Texas abortion laws in federal court
and Academy Award nominee, William H. Macy,
as Supreme Court Justice Harry Blackman.
My chief qualification being, I'm uncontroversial.
You know how we both ended up on the Supreme Court, politics?
Damn right.
This may be the longest of shots,
but it's also the last chance for a lot of women.
Time is not the most important factor, getting it right in.
Trying to get you to stand for something, man.
I'll go do it.
Listen to Supreme, The Battle for Row,
on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Lies, exploitation, and the American Dream turned nightmare.
This is Big Sugar, a deep dive
into the inner workings of the sugar industry.
I'm Celeste Hedley, and in a new podcast,
I'm investigating a true crime story like no other
about the men who risked their lives to cut sugar cane.
In Big Sugar, from I Heart Media,
Imagine Audio, and the teams at Weekday Fun and Novel,
I'll unravel a decade's long fight to get justice.
If they were right, then these workers
were owed tens of millions of dollars next to wages.
I feel ashamed as an American.
And the lengths people will go to hide the truth.
The sugar lobby is one of the most powerful lobbies
in the country.
They have boatloads of money.
Listen to Big Sugar on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
And we're back.
Okay, everybody, we're back.
I lose.
To lose.
I know, it's in to lose just the absolute best name for a dog.
I don't know about that.
I don't know, it's confusing.
What is to lose?
It's a French name.
It was French.
Yeah.
It's all Brad.
I was like, man, if Wendell wasn't already Wendell,
he might be to lose that better name.
Wendell's a better name.
Douglas is a good name for a dog.
That's Hannah Gatsby's dog's name
that she talks about in her special.
Oh, is that why it's called Douglas?
Douglas, yeah.
Douglas is a good name.
Bert and Douglas, I can't wait to get my new batch of dogs.
And I would do what now name all my dogs.
People have been sending you some chows.
I've been sending them along.
So all I do is watch chow videos on Instagram.
I can't not stop watching chows.
I just fucking love those dogs.
I was talking to this guy the other day
and he was like, you got to get a pug.
And I'm like, no, I don't.
I'm like, that's not my type.
You can visit mine.
I have a type.
Yeah.
And everyone has a type.
Yeah.
You have to follow your heart.
Exactly.
Some people love a weenie.
Some people I love a pug.
I love half of my Instagram these days is like singing dogs
or like dogs that are kind of howling.
And people will like write songs alongside them
and it's hysterical.
I like when dogs cuddle each other.
Like when you see a little sibling action
and they are just on top of each other.
I know.
And especially dogs with other animals that cuddle,
that are sweet.
There was this video of the horse and a dog.
The other day rubbing heads together.
I almost climax.
I love it.
Okay.
Have you been on Safari before?
Yes.
And is it just the most magical trip I've ever been on?
You don't even have to care about animals.
I mean, I'm an animal lover, but not like crazy.
You know, I like my animals pretty much.
I'm like watching animals.
But I'm not like some crazy animal person.
And it's just, it feels like you're in a different time.
In a different world.
Yeah.
Africa is the only place I've ever traveled to
where I felt I was, I was on another continent.
Yeah.
Even when you're in Europe or even your South America.
Like it's a little, it's, it's just feels like
there's always access to Americanism.
You know what I mean?
Africa is Africa.
And there's nothing American about it.
Are you going several places or are you going to be in one spot?
Yeah, we're going to like three, four different camps.
Oh my God.
My sister and myself and all of our, you know, troops,
all the girls.
And yeah, my sister's been to a few times.
I've been on Safari twice before.
Yeah.
And it is the trip of a lifetime.
And I want to see my nieces and, and well, not nephews,
because they're not coming.
I want to see, I was like, what is my nieces in it?
Just a nieces.
I, I saw my nephews last weekend.
They came to my show in the Catskills.
Ah.
And they are so big and tall.
It's just so fucking funny.
You posted that one picture like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like a little, any bitty thing next to them.
I mean, it's just so funny.
I'm like, my Russian sister-in-law feeds them gouache.
And I guess it works because I've never seen boys this big.
Oh my goodness.
And it is true.
Like, they grow up so fast.
I mean, my nephews, six five.
Oh my God.
I know.
And the other one is so ridiculous.
He works out so hard.
So his chest is like, he looks like, I'm like,
you do not have the body type for that.
I'm like, you look like you're from New Jersey.
Like, cool it with the working out.
It's too much.
My nephew, Evan, he started going to military school.
His choice, his choice.
And he's like opening doors for his grandma now.
And like, just being very respectful.
And military school.
From military school.
Oh good.
It's like learning all these, you know, very old school,
but kind of nice things.
It's like, we women, we can open the doors ourselves.
But like, it's nice.
I don't feel like opening a door for myself.
I love it when somebody opens up for me.
And I like to also open doors for other people too.
Like, once the door's open, keep it open until the flow is done.
Yes.
And if you're a man, don't step in front of a woman
when the door is open.
Okay, just, that's the least you can do.
That is something, that is a phenomenon that I never experienced
in the Midwest.
And we moved here, Chelsea.
And like, the first few weeks, we were like,
what is happening?
Like, Brad would open the door for me.
And men would walk through it.
How did me?
And one time, Brad was like, hey, I wasn't opening that for you, bro.
Like, I was opening it for my wife.
And the guy, like, did a double take.
Because he truly didn't even notice.
He was like, oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Like, they don't even notice.
I go, ah, ladies first, please.
Ladies first.
Okay.
Well, that was our episode for today.
It was a Catherine and Chelsea special.
It sure was.
Yeah.
I mean, I think we learned a lot.
We gave some very pointed advice.
And I learned that Toulouse is a very French name.
Toulouse Le Trek Mengvar.
Who's Toulouse Le Trek Mengvar?
He was an artist of the Bohemian persuasion
as shown in the movie Mulan Rouge.
You'll see him played by John Lake Wasamo.
Ah, okay.
That's, I think, where my generation knows
of Toulouse Le Trek is from Mulan Rouge.
Well, thanks for listening, everybody.
We'll catch you next week.
Bye.
Bye.
Okay, guys.
Also, I have added more second shows to my
little big bitch tour.
I added second shows in Hollywood at the Pantages.
I am going to be there two nights, October 12th and 13th.
I added another show at the Chicago Theatre, October 27th
and October 28th, one of my favorite places to perform.
I added another show in Portland.
So I'll be there November 2nd and 3rd.
And I added a second show in Boston at the Wang Center.
So I will be there November 16th and 17th.
I also have two shows in Seattle, San Francisco, New York,
at the Beacon and Washington, DC.
I will be there October 5th and 6th.
And a special shout out to Phoenix, Arizona,
where I'm coming Saturday, October 14th.
And then I'm coming to Cleveland, Columbus, and Pittsburgh.
So suck on that, you guys.
I can't wait to see everybody.
Oh, and I'm coming to Eugene, Oregon too, everybody.
That's November 9th, 2023.
And I will be at the clubhouse in East Hampton,
which is going to be a very intimate show on Saturday, August 26th.
So if you are in the Long Island area, that's where I'll be.
The clubhouse.
Courtney Cope's input is general psychological information
based on research and clinical experience.
It's intended to be general and informational in nature.
It does not represent or indicate an established clinical
or professional relationship with those inquiring for guidance.
Courtney's feedback is in response to a written question
and therefore, there are likely unknown considerations
given the limited context.
Also, just because you might hear something on the show
that sounds similar to what you're experiencing,
beware of self-diagnosis.
Diagnosis is not required to find relief,
and you'll want to find a qualified professional
to assess and explore diagnoses, if that's important to you.
If you or your partner are in crisis and uncertain of whether
you can maintain safety, reach out for support,
like crisis hotlines and local authorities.
Have a safety plan that can be done with a therapist too.
If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
at deerchelsypodcast at gmail.com
and be sure to include your phone number.
deerchelsy is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert,
executive producer, Catherine Law,
and be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com.
Summer is coming, everybody,
and we all know how difficult it is to find a swimsuit
that you feel comfortable walking around in.
I did recently get some new swimwear
from TA3 Swim, and they are fantastic.
They are sexy, mega-sculpting swimsuits
that have hidden shaping panels that work
with a signature backlacing to comfortably,
yet dramatically sculpt and flattened,
amazing bus support in all suits.
Their underwire lifting style goes up to a cake-up,
created by a fashion designer who wanted to eat
what she wanted and still look and feel hot.
Visit TA3Swim.com to check these out
and use code handler 20 for 20% off one purchase.
Lies, exploitation, and the American dream turned nightmare.
This is Big Sugar, a deep dive
into the inner workings of the sugar industry.
I'm Celeste Headley, and in a new podcast,
I'm investigating a true crime story like no other
about the men who risked their lives to cut sugar cane.
From I Heart Media, I'll unravel a decade-long fight
to get justice.
Listen to Big Sugar on the I Heart Radio app Apple Podcasts
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, everybody. It's me, Katie Curric.
Did you know I have a newsletter called Wake Up Call
that goes out six days a week?
It has everything you need to know to start your day,
the candidates to watch in 2024.
My latest podcast interview with Michael J. Fox,
the best things to eat for gut health,
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the truth about CBD and so much more.
Head to Katie Curric dot com.
That's K-A-T-I-E-C-O-U-R-I-C dot com to sign up.
And I'll see you in the morning, just like old times.