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Hello, good morning. I don't know why I say that.
People can listen anytime, Chelsea. I had, I got an epidural last night.
Last night? Last afternoon. Oh my goodness. What for?
For my neck, I have a dislocated or an impingement on my spinal cord from a
tube discs in my neck. Possibly. I did a big, pretty big face plant this winter,
so that could have definitely been it. But anyway, I was having experiencing shoulder pain,
and then I did one of those body MRIs, and then that told us that I had to do a spinal
liminary, and then we found it, and then I was like, oh, now I'm really in pain.
My gosh. So then I got my epidural, and I was really excited about my epidural,
because I've spoken about this ad nauseam, about how much I enjoy being put under,
and my assistant had emailed me yesterday the day before telling me that I couldn't eat all day,
which it was at like 3.30, so I was like, oh, that's hard, but of course, doable.
And then I was excited about being put under, you know, properly put under.
Yeah, but it was just to twilight. And I don't see you didn't get that like real good now.
I felt them poke it in my neck. I felt two injections. Like it wasn't the magic carpet,
right? I was excited about all day that got me through the day. I was excited about, you know,
I love that. Just like a body buzz. Yeah. And when they put me on the table, it's funny,
because they had to put me down face down, which is really where I belong. But because they had
to have my neck exposed for the injection. And I remember thinking like, this is this is going
to be funny when I like, yeah, when I like go under because I'm going to be doing a face plan.
Anyway, so I got home at like 4.30 and they've given me some out of in. So I took that right away
and had a nice little good night party. Well, Gop thought it was the morning and it was 11 p.m.
And I got my hyperbaric chamber. I slept in there for three hours after 11 p.m.
After 11 p.m, you're supposed to do two and a half hours. So I don't know, I'll probably have to
drink some extra water this morning or something. My girlfriend the other night was so funny. We
were at my friend's house. Somebody was like, you have to drink water, drink more water. And my
friend Wendy was like, so sick of ever. She goes, why is water so trendy? She goes, when I go up,
nobody offered me water. She goes, I would play all day at school and I would come in and have a
juice box. No one said anything about water. And now everywhere you go, it's like they're
fucking shoving it down your throat. I mean, we are made, what, 97% of water?
So why do we need so much more of it? Because it's there. Like it's not going anywhere. And I'm
always, I get an IV every week because I'm always dehydrated. I never drink enough water. But I,
like in the last year, two years, I've drank much more than I used to. But water isn't everything
else you're drinking too. And then when they tell you that you're so dehydrated, that not even
water will help you. I'm like, well, then what will? And they're like, oh, you need an IV or you
need electrolytes. And I'm like, all I do is put electrolytes in my wallet. My doctor, doctors
are telling me every doctor is like the reason you have this issue with your neck is because you're
too dehydrated. But I do see that drinking water. I know flavor, but sure, it's still water after
that. I mean, it's never enough. And it's like it is being forced down our throats in a way that
it wasn't. Nobody offered me water. The reason I don't drink waters, because no one gave me
anyone I was growing up be there. Someone's mother gave us a water. I was like, don't go back to
that house. Like, where's my glass of milk? When I was in high school, I started getting chronic
headaches. And my mom was like, well, how, how long have you had these? I was like months,
like every single day I had a headache. Let me guess. They told you to drink water. She sure did.
And I had a little picture that had on the counter every day. And I would drink the whole thing.
And then my headaches mysteriously disappear. Oh, well, then there you go. Water's great for you,
everybody. We're back on track. Drink more water. Chelsea, do you have any sort of skills or
talents in your life that you have chosen not to pursue since you had sort of other big talent?
I mean, I guess acting I never really seriously pursued because I don't think I can pretend to be
someone completely different. Sure. I don't have that skill. But like I bid in movies, I'm doing a
movie actually. I'm doing a cute little role in this movie in a couple of weeks. I'm filming that
in Syracuse, New York. And that worked out perfectly because when I'm on tour, I can never do
anything. Right. And they were like, oh, and it's right. I have a date in New York. And so I was
like, yes, perfect. Like I would love to. But, you know, people don't think of me as anything other
than like a funny character or like, you know, a big sister best friend type like that. So I don't
want to play that, you know, I play JLo's like sidekick or something. But I like to change it up.
But I don't love being in a trailer all day waiting, you know, it's a long process. I like to use
my own language. And so I like to improvise on set too. So it's got to be a place where I can have fun.
Like this movie I'm doing, they're like, we want you to come and have fun. Do your thing. This is
the role, but like do whatever you want with it. So that's fun. So I'll do that. But yeah, I've never
really pursued acting just because I never was really an actress. Yeah. Is it something you're
passionate about or like, not really. It was just a means to an end. Yeah. I feel like being a
comedian and like kind of creating my own narrative is what I've done, you know, with with all my
books and my stand-up and my talk shows and the podcast, like I get to do what I'm doing rather than
having being placed in someone else's project. I feel like I'm very autonomous that way. And I don't
particularly not that I don't play well with others, but I like to be in charge of my own stuff.
Yeah. And there is something really wonderful that you get to make these sort of creative
decisions. You get to be in a position of power rather than just sort of going out and having to
read the lines that somebody else has written for you. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I can't sing or dance.
So like those are not options for me. I can't really play a musical instrument. I don't have,
I mean, anything that I'm interested in is athletic. Yeah. I love to ski. So that I made sure.
I said to myself, when I was like 25 years old, when I rediscovered skiing, I was like,
I want to be a successful enough to pay someone to make me a great skier. Yeah. And I did do that.
Are you someone when you're learning a new talent that you are like okay being bad at it for a
while? Or do you want to be great right away? I want to be a good student. So I want to I don't want
you to have to tell me twice. I like very specific instruction like Spanish. I'm very passionate
about learning Spanish, but I'm not as diligent as one would be if they really wanted to be able
to converse in the language. Like I'm always trying my bell and I are always working on my Spanish.
I'm on lingo deer. I have my classes. I take each day. I have a tutor, but I'm still not fluid.
So clearly something is a miss. It takes practice. Yeah, but I've also learned when you're learning
new things as I've gotten older, stop being so anal-retentive about getting it right. Like it absorbs
learning absorbs. It doesn't always hit you in the moment. But once you build a strong enough
foundation, you can stop stuff starts to sink in without trying so hard. Yeah. I'm I'm someone who's
very I'm very fine with being bad at something until I'm good at it and like sticking with
something. You know, one of my nieces, she gets so frustrated and angry when she's not like just
perfect at the first try. I'm like, no, it's okay. You build skills. You build muscle memory.
And then if you keep doing it consistently, you'll be great eventually. Yeah. Yeah. It's consistency
and not flogging yourself or not getting it exactly right. That's a young thing. That's youth.
Yeah. Okay. So our next guest is a good friend of mine. I love her so much. She is a ray of sunshine.
She has a lot of stuff going on. So let me inform you and all of her stuff and products that she
is involved in. I have tried because she is a friend. She is the founder of in bloom, which is
a supplement powder. And she has a vodka brand called King Street vodka. She's the co host of
the sibling revelry podcast with another one of our favorite guests, Oliver Hudson. So please
welcome actress and entrepreneur Kate Hudson. Yeah. Kate. Look who's here. My buddy, my sister.
Do you know that I grew up pretending I, in third grade, I lied to all my schoolmates so that
they would respect me more and said that I was going to be in a reboot of private Benjamin
and playing Goldie Hawn's daughter. I just lied to the whole school and everyone believed me.
So when I grew up and I became friends and I met Goldie and Kate for the first time, I was like,
you guys, I'm part of this family, whether like you accept me or not. But it was really a fast
acceptance. It felt right. It just felt right. Speaking of fast entries, I just saw Kate last night
actually. We were celebrating one of her magazine launches. We did. She's on the cover of a
flaunt magazine. I'd say she had a party for that because it's her first magazine cover. That's
right. Ever. And so that's exciting. Yeah. It was. Yeah. Number one, number one, although it was
a King Street vodka party too. So we did celebrate with my vodka. And I am a big ardent
supporter of King Street vodka because of Kate's relationship with them. She introduced me to King
Street vodka. And you know that I'm very particular about my vodka. It's either Belvedere
or King Street for me. So yeah, exactly. I do get a little jealous when I see Belvedere. I'm
not going to lie. I know. Well, that's because I don't have any King Street left because I drank
it all because it's so delicious. So you have to send me another case. I suppose I could order one
myself. One is that's like very beautiful. Like the battle's gorgeous. It's perfect for a gift.
Like yeah, yeah, you're such a you're such an entrepreneur, Kate. I mean, look at you blossoming
into womanhood. You know what? I just have so many things I want to do. There's this. There's
this really funny host online where this girl's like fully ADHD, like my ADHD self. And she's
like, I want to do everything. Like I'm going to do this. And I'm going to like make wooden spoons.
And then she basically is like, I think that's who I am. I think I'm just massively ADHD. I have
to do a million different things. And somehow I'm able to like figure it out. Do it all.
Are we allowed to talk about what you and I were talking about last night? Music? Yeah. Let's talk
about that because I think that's speaking of doing a bunch of different things. So Kate is
musically gifted. And if you didn't know that, she has a banging voice on her and she loves to
fucking sing. I love to do everything. She loves to dance. She loves to sing. She loves to meditate.
She likes to have children with multiple men. I love to sing. I mean, honestly, when I was younger,
I thought that's what I was going to do. You know, I thought I was going to sing and dance and
musical theater was always my favorite type of acting, other than like improv, but really,
I thought I was going to sing. And I never thought like, oh, I can't do all of it until I started
auditioning really young, got very famous, very fast. And then it was like, you don't break with
it's not broken. You don't go from being an actor to like, now I'm, you know, a musician.
So I just kind of kept it to myself forever. I just, I just wrote music my whole life and I'd
have never shared it. And then in the lockdown, I was really writing music. And then I was like,
what's, I can't keep going and not put this out there. I'd really regret it. So I started writing
and then started writing with Linda Perry. It was amazing. And we really hit it off. And then
it's just sort of unfolded from there with no expectation. It just sort of was like, I'm just
going to make a record. I'm going to make a record. And here I am like two years later. It's been
a great, really great, massive creative experience for me. And I can't wait for it to come out.
And when does it come out? I can't say that. Yeah. Not yet. But it's coming, you know, and did
see I influenced this at all this decision because when you guys work together on your project,
you did with her. I felt like she had an impact on you musically. Do you, is that accurate?
You see it like see it gave me this like this huge like hug of confidence, you know,
she really was like, you're a singer. That's what you really are. And kind of gave me these
incredible songs to sing that were really powerful and where my voice likes to sit, you know,
I like powerful songs. And, and yeah, she, she really gave me that like kiss of confidence.
I had a hard time really believing in myself as a singer for a number of different reasons.
But over the years as I got older, I got more and more kind of closed off with my singing.
And then see it really opened it back up again for me, for sure. Wow. Like feeling confident
actually just being able to share it, you know, yeah. And you're going to go on tour when your
album comes out, which is something we were talking about. Well, she has experience being on tour
because she's been married or dated men that have tours. My whole life. So she knows what
that's about, right? A little bit. The only way I'm going to get back on tours if I do it myself.
I heard the headliner. But another thing that I love about Kate, which I want to talk to you about
Kate, is that you do have three different children from three different men. And I was, we were
talking about that last night, because you said it to you. Oh, who else has that? Kate Winslet has
that. And then there was another third person. Who was the third person? Melanie Griffin. Yeah.
Where's a couple people? Were you saying that you thought you'd take a lot of shit for that?
Because I was saying, I don't think you take any heat for that. Not that you should in any way.
I don't take any kind of, I would say, respectable heat. Right. It's probably the same heat I get
for not having children. That's right. But I do get like, I do get a lot of, you know, the little
peanut galleries out in the world that like to kind of on certain days like Mother's Day. You know,
you'll see it in the comments like, you must be so proud to have three kids with three dad. You know,
little little things like that. Well, yeah, actually, I am because it's great. But yeah, I don't,
I don't catch like any big people don't shame me. I don't feel like I get shamed very often about
it every once in a while. Yeah. Well, talk to me about a little bit what it's like having these
kids at such different stages in your life. Because last night you were saying that writer's going to
be 32 years old when Ronnie gets her driver's license. That's right. I mean, well, honestly,
it's like for me, having writer, I was so young, but I know remember, oh my god, I remember that
pregnancy. I didn't know you that, but I remember your pregnancy. I was you. Yeah. She's like a monster
truck. I was like, I got pregnant and I was like, I am all I wanted was, was burgers, fried food,
fried chicken and ice cream. And I would eat a pint of ice cream. My mom, I'd like sit at home,
like eating my, and my mom would like come and I'd see her hand just like ice cream. I kind of
pull it away. I gained almost 80 pounds. I was so happy. I was just big happy and and I thought I
knew what I was doing. You know, I really wanted to have a baby. He's really a nine 11 baby. You
know, nine 11 happened. I was married to Chris. We were so happy. And I just wanted a family and
and and I was ready. And and then and then, you know, six years later, getting divorced,
going like, wow, I'm a, I'm a mom of a toddler. My friends are still just like out and about
single and and so I had to figure out how to manage being a mom and actually enjoying being young
and out and single and having a good time. And so I never knew what life was without having that
voice in the back of my head going like, you need to go home and wake up at six in the morning and
make pancakes like you should go home now. You know, so my first rider was like all trial and error.
I wrote a song about it on my, on my album. He was like my witness. You know, he was there,
my whole adult life. And then that relationship didn't work out. I'm single. And then I met
a new guy. Was that a difficult separation or divorce for you? I mean, obviously they're all
difficult. But oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. On a scale of one to 10. Yeah. It's really, it was really
interesting when you're when you're going through relationships, especially when you're young
in the public eye, I don't really get into all that stuff. But that was hard for me. Like, I really,
really, really loved Chris. We had a great relationship. And the things that got in the way
for me of sort of growing together, I knew we could never grow together for the rest of our lives.
Like he just fundamentally, we saw our values were different in certain places that I would never
have been able to stay on that train with him. And he's exactly where he's supposed to be with
a beautiful wife. And I'm where I'm supposed to be. But you know, even now when I look at Chris,
I have so much deep love for him. Like he taught me everything about love. He loved me unconditionally.
You know, and I think deep down still maybe does, you know, but he really, he taught me so much.
But it just wasn't meant to be, we weren't meant to be together. Right. I was
who tie paper. I get it. And then you had Bing. Then I had Bing. Hey, so how old were you when
you had Ryder? 23, 24 with Ryder. And just so young. Oh, my God. Yeah. And then I was 31 or
30 with Bing. He was a happy oops. He was my little, my little like, oh, pregnant. And he's just
my little cuddly incredible. Oh, he's the best. Bing is just, I'm so proud of Bing. He's so funny
and so smart. He's like the kid that I had that I don't recognize, meaning like he's good at school.
Everything he does, he's he can sit and read for hours. He's almost 12 years old. No learning
disability. Everybody in my family is learning disabilities. Bing just came out. But those are from
Oliver. So I mean, that's not anyone's fault, but all these really. I don't know. I don't know.
It could be a Hudson Han real lineage. But you know, Ryder got all that. I got all that. Bing
Bing just came out like he's just a rocket ship. He can do everything. And so I watch him and
I see him. He's already judges me. He already looks and he's like, she's really like underdeveloped
mother. And then Ronnie, her little golden female that just balanced everything out in the house.
And she's, which I said to Kate last night, I'm like, what does it feel like to have a daughter that
looks nothing like her? Oh my god. And she just, honestly, like her, I stare at her sometimes
and she's talking to me and I'm just lost in her, you know. Mom, mommy. And yes, I'm like
looking at her, just everything, her and her nature is so different than mine. You know,
it's like I was like so tough. She's very, everything's about beauty. She's all in the air. I mean,
sometimes she's so in this like beautiful world that she lives in that she runs. She literally
runs right into things, you know. And I'm like the person that like sees everything I could run into
first, you know, is just all, you know, soaks everything in all about beauty. She even wakes up in
the morning. I mean, for when she was like, could start talking, she'd wake up and like she'd
look at the sunset and go, mommy, is that the sunset? Beautiful. I'd be like, yes.
I have to slow everything down, Ron. Oh, that's so sweet. I mean, I think it's so fascinating to
think about all of the changes that you've gone through as a parent, right? Learning how to
parent and how your parenting has changed probably over all these years and the three children.
Yeah. And it's weird because sometimes I, when I'm really trying to be a witness, like I'm trying
to figure out what I've done, right? What I maybe could do better. I'm a much better parent now.
Like I have it down, but I'm also a much more, sometimes I have these anxieties that I didn't
have when I was parenting writer. You know, I had this full, big, happy family. And you're like,
I just don't want anything to interrupt how good it is right now. So then you get all the anxiety,
you get all the anxieties. Whereas before I never had those things, I just sort of was way more
spontaneous. So as I've gotten to become a better parent, I've also kind of have different attachments
that I'm also now trying to like, you know, as I get older, I want to like, I kind of want to
remember what it's like to have more freedom and more spontaneity to let things be a little messy.
It is interesting how it changes, you know, and it does ebb and flow and like some things are
better than as you get older, I think you also can certain things become a little too tight
as a parent, you know? Yeah. I think the more aware we could become, it's like you get smarter
and better at your job. But then you also are wise enough and experienced enough to know that
anything can change in a second. So you want to protect what you have. Whereas I think when we're
younger, we're not as conscious about what we have in the first place. We kind of take things for
granted more, right? Especially with your mom too, because obviously you guys have a very tight
knit family and your relationship with her must have changed so much when you had children.
I think so. I don't know. I mean, sometimes when mom, I'm like, I think you become more apologetic
of your own behavior is when you become a mother to your parents. You're like, wow, like,
they didn't know what they were doing either, you know? And I, you know, must have been,
there have been times where I must have just drove them insane, especially Oliver. I mean,
I was actually good, you know, I wanted them to be proud. Oliver just wanted to hide everything
that he was up to. But now, yeah, I mean, I think, I think the relationship where it changes is
that as you get older, you kind of emulate the things that you really love about how you grew up
and then you really want to walk away from the things that you didn't. I think every parent has
that moment when they're reflecting on their how they were raised, you know? Yeah. And I think
whether you're a parent or not, as you get older, you start to understand how you're mimicking the
very things that you couldn't stand growing up, whether it's your mother's or father's behavior,
because the mindset, well, this is a separate thought, but the mindset when you're growing up is
my parents are in charge. They're in control. They know what's best, even though I disagree with them
most of the time in my case anyway. But then as you get older and now that I'm my age, you know,
older than my parents were when they had me, I'm like, they didn't know what the fuck they were
doing either. Just like I barely knew what I was doing, you know, you don't know what you're doing
until you're in your 40s or 50s sometimes. I'm just not sure we really ever know what we're doing
to be honest, because like the other day too, it's like, now I'm in this place where I'm like,
you know what? I've got it figured out and writer now that writer is turning it as an adult,
I mean, he looks at me the way I looked at my parents like, you know what? This is my mom's issues.
I'm not going to feed into them. Now I'm watching writer do that with me and I'm like,
whoa, aren't I doing good? He's like, mom, this is, I don't think there's any parent in the world
that's going to get through raising their kids, being anything, but having that thing where their
kids goes, I don't want to be anything like my parent. There's this, but I don't want any of that
to be a part of what I'm going to like end up becoming as a parent. I can see it in writer already.
He's like, yeah, I don't like that part of my mom, you know, and you're like, oh God, I thought
I thought I was going to like win this one. Yeah, yeah. That is true. Right, just when you think
you have things sorted out, even in relationships, you know, you're in a great relationship with your
partner, Danny, and have been for many years now. And you were also saying last night, you know,
how great this relationship is for you, how you have space and he's respects you and you guys
have a great time together and also a healthy relationship when you're apart. And those things,
when they happen in our lives, it's, there's just so much gratitude. I feel like when I have somebody
in my life that I can be completely myself with, I'm like, oh, this is such a nice gift.
It's the best. It's all about safety, isn't it? I mean, at the end of the day, like if you feel
that real like yummy sense of safety, you feel so much more freedom. Danny's the first relationship
I've had where I really feel free, even though we're in a monogamous intimate relationship, I don't
feel any part of me that feels like I need to break out or feel like, you know, he gives me so much
freedom and my life and in the kind of world that we travel in and we travel all over the world
and we're meeting incredibly interesting people and beautiful people. When you have someone who has
such a deep trust in you and gives you so much freedom, it's just like, it feels so nice.
It's like you never want to do anything to hurt it, you know? It really is the first time I felt
that kind of safety. And I also think with Danny, and I don't know if you've felt this before
within any kind of relationship, but Danny has no interest in being the center of attention of
anything. Like he never wanted to be, you know, a rock star or a famous painter or a famous writer
or, you know, an actor. Like he never wanted to be in that spotlight. So when we're doing things
together, like I could be on a red carpet and I've never felt that thing where I never had to worry
about someone else or feel like I was making sure that we were doing something together or that
that it wasn't going to cause any kind of friction or insecurity. Like I'll look around for Danny
and Danny will be like talking to anybody and he's so happy and I just there's something so lovely
about not having to be with anyone who feels a sense of insecurity when you're the center of
even though it's all bells and whistles and it doesn't mean anything anyway, it still can create
I think a lot of insecurity in men sometimes or women. Well, especially in this industry,
because you're coming up against the same thing, you know, if people are involved in the same
business, it's like obviously there's going to be a little bit of conflict no matter how evolved
you are, you can pretend, but it comes up. I mean, I've had to come up other, you know,
all of my friends who have been updating other celebrities, it comes up all the time whether you
think you're above it or beneath it or whatever. There are moments where it's like when is it my turn
to be at the center of what's happening to my partner right now, you can't sometimes you just
can't help but feel like wow, it's happening to them. Like how do I always just it's become
a sense of insecurity, it becomes a conversation piece, it becomes like I'm trying so hard to
make this happen and it can just like eat away at any relationship where you're in the same field.
I think it can be challenging. Yeah. Okay, on that note, we're going to take a couple calls. Okay,
we're going to give people advice. That's what we do on this podcast. So put your therapy hat on.
I know you have it. We're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back.
This show is sponsored by Better Health. A nice question to ask yourself was how much time do
you spend on yourself and then how much time do you spend on other people and how do you balance
the two? I think that everyone can relate to that as it's so easy to get caught up in what everyone
else needs from you that you sometimes never take a moment to think about what you need from yourself.
But when you spend all of your time giving out, it also can feel you leaving stretched and burned
out and irritated. So therapy as we always discuss on our show can give you the tools to find
more balance in your life so that you can keep supporting others without leaving yourself behind.
If you are thinking of starting therapy, give Better Health a try. It's entirely online and it's
designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. So you just have to go on,
fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist. There's no problem
switching therapists any time and then there's no additional charge. You can find more
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She writes Steer Chelsea. I'm a 32 year old woman with a 13 year old daughter who's in the seventh
grade. I've always given my daughter a ton of credit because I was in fact a teen mom and I never
really had my shit together up until the past handful of years. Recently we've started a new school
at a new district. While making a move to live back with my parents and my job requires so much
of my time that my parents do all the running for my kids, thus making this most logical decision
for my family. Since moving, my daughter has basically spiraled. I allowed her to get snapchat
after waiting for so long and she ruined it within a week as I caught her having sexually charged
conversations with strangers. This past weekend she had a school dance and after doing some very
light monitoring, I noticed she'd been having a conversation with a classmate about weed. I decided
to drug test her and sure enough she was positive for THC. And although I'm not anti marijuana,
I feel like she's way too young. Sometimes when I find myself up in her business, I hear your
voice Chelsea in the back of my head reminding me, I don't own her and that she's her own individual
self, but I still feel like she's too young. My biggest fear is that she'll get caught up with
the wrong crowd and eventually moved to taking pills. How I didn't wind up pregnant in high school
because I was a good kid, but the amount of fentanyl related deaths in our stupid ass Midwestern
city is astronomical. What are your thoughts on keeping herself aware and safe while becoming her
individual self? Side note, she started therapy literally two days before the discovery of this
newest incident. That's Kate, I'm going to let you take this as a parent. Well, I'm just, I'm just
really impressed that she's she hears you when it comes to her parenting. No shit. Well, okay.
Well, there's a lot to say. One, I didn't hear anything about dad. So I'm I'm not exactly sure
what the deal is with dad. She says that they split when her daughter was one, but they get along
great. I'm just not sure if he like lives nearby or any of that stuff. Okay. So I think I can really
relate to this because that's a really, really challenging thing when you are going through
when you start to go through puberty as a girl who you it doesn't even it doesn't even matter if
you have a stepfather because I had a great stepdad. Kurt's the best. When you have dealt with that
kind of abandonment and what really feels like a rejection, the individuation from mom becomes
pretty intense during puberty. Well said. And so I think she's going through probably massive
hormonal time, you know. And I'm glad she's going to therapy. Number one, I would be like,
there has to be open conversations about dad. And she needs to start feeling like she
is worthy of being a great healthy, beautiful young girl who doesn't need to appease
boys or party to like seem cool or any of those things. And then she just needs the information.
You know, I think like kids and weed is not great. Like you got to grow your brain. There's
so much research on this like you start smoking weed too young too much. It's going to fuck your
brain up. And it just ages your brain doesn't allow to develop properly if you're too young. And
you don't give it the right development time, especially during puberty. And then there's the other
thing which is to say to mom like we all were there. So we were all at that time in middle school
where people were experimenting and looking at, you know, now we have the snapchat and we have
the thing that we were all flirting and we were like trying to be sexy and girls are trying to
figure out what that looked like on them. And it is the time where you experiment with those things.
So you want to remember what it was like for you, which I feel like she does. And then
fucking snapchat off of their phone. I just think that social media for kids that aren't
wait till they're in ninth grade like wait till they're a little bit older. Like they just the
research is so heavy on this now. It's terrible for kids. It's terrible. So I'm not like I will not
allow my son to get snapchat when he gets his phone. I won't allow him to get Instagram. I won't
allow him to get TikTok until he's 15. You can fuck around with it with someone else's phone fine,
but not he won't have it on his phone. I'm not really strict about that. Yeah, you're strict.
I like that. And I also think all you can do as a parent is set boundaries and overcommunicate.
The best parents I see are the people who actually have open dialogues with their children. And I know
your daughter probably sounds like she's in a place that she doesn't want to hear you talking to
her about it because she probably thinks she knows better. But everything Kate said is perfect.
She's hormonal. She's growing. She's experimenting. She's looking around like, oh, am I
interested in that? It's all fucking completely normal. The only things that you can control are like
the guardrails that you put up and getting rid of snapchat. She'll probably try and start a fake
account, but it's worth getting rid of and making sure that she understands that if she does have a
fake account, there are going to be repercussions for that. And being in therapy is great. Thank
God because all she needs is the information about what this is going to do. What you can't
smoke pot when you're 13 years old. It doesn't work that way. Your brain has to develop. And otherwise
you're going to pay the price for a really long time. And you should put that information in front of
her, you know, and not necessarily, I don't know Kate. What do you think about, you know, being a
parent versus being a friend? Like I think that's a very gray area with a lot of parents where people
try to be their kids friends. And I think it's important during these kinds of times to really be
a parent. Yeah. I mean, I really try to talk to my kids when it comes to drugs and it comes to sex.
Like I really get very clinical and I come from a place of like what for me is a parent and what I
wish for them in their life, the seriousness of it. And that it might seem now that it's like
fine. But what I've experienced and my friends of mine that have gone down certain paths
of being really, really brutal and open with them about it, you know, I've lost friends to drugs.
It's been terrible. And I've seen it and you watch it happen. And also like how much you love your
kids. I remember when I was a teenager, like I love my mom so much, I, my hormones and where I was
at, I had moments where I just couldn't stand her. And it's not, it wasn't personal. It literally
was of my hormones, a function of me wanting to be my own person and my psychology and all the
things that were happening at that moment. And my mom's love and consistency in being there,
talking to me, communicating was what ends up showing actively what that love looks like.
You know, yeah. And I also think you should also treat this. What's her name again? Bet sets.
Like this is a time in your life. Like it's not the rest of your life. She's just going through a
time in her life right now. And so you have to parent differently during this time in order just
to help guide her, you know, and you can also set up like stepping stones for her to earn your trust,
you know, so that she's going to act responsibly. So when she acts responsibly, then she can be on
social media when you can monitor her account and see that she's not talking about drugs or sex or
things that you're not comfortable with yet as a parent of a 13 year old girl, which is totally
acceptable. You can't control a 13 year old. I mean, you're her parent at 13 years old. That's still
your role. And when I say like you don't own your children, I mean that in a larger sense. I think
it as a 13 year old girl, you are in charge of her. You don't own her know, but you are in control
of the way she's going to be directed. And so you just take that part really seriously in this
sensitive time, which is puberty. And you're not alone. Everyone is dealing with the same thing with
a 13 year old girl, you know, if not exactly the same thing. I heard great piece of advice where
someone said like, we don't need tough love. Like the world presents us with tough. And I, I was
raised with a lot of tough love. And when I heard that, I was like, that's a really interesting
approach. When you say boundaries, like there's a way to set boundaries that don't feel like you're
coming down on your kids, but really feel like we need to meet each other as our kids get older.
I remember saying a writer, our relationship will change. My love for you never changes,
but our relationship and the mutual respect that needs to start happening changes as you become,
as you get older. And if we can't meet each other, there's, we're going to have a complicated
relationship. And I have boundaries. And if this is going to be smooth, then we got to be able to
talk these things out. And that I think is the best, the only thing you can do, you know. Yeah,
I like the idea of not looking at boundaries as a punishment, but actually as like an encouragement.
Like, okay, you know, if you meet all of these criteria, then you're going to have more freedom
to make your own decisions. Once you prove to me that you're making sound decisions and
responsible decisions for your health and your safety, et cetera. So a reward system. Yeah,
like a reward system. It doesn't have to be like, no, you're a bad girl. It's like, look,
if you do this, you can get this, you know. And after time of watching her mature, which you will,
like, don't worry. You're going to be fine. You've got her in therapy. You've done all the right
things. So just be very, you know, conscious of making sure you're over communicating all the time,
whether she wants to or not, you're available for it if she ever needs you. So that's the message
you get across when you're always showing up for someone is that when they do need you, you'll be
there. So parenting is hard. And that's why I've chosen not to do it and participate in that.
It's not an easy job. Their kids challenge is so deeply and profoundly. They also know how to
pick and poke at all your weak spots. They see it. Even if they don't even know that they're seeing
it, they know. I think the other thing is that our kids are our teachers. When we see our kids going
through something, we also need to reflect back on on ourselves. You know, they've moved. She's
moved. She must feel is destabilizing for her. She's acting out. And so I think mom, too, has to
look and go like, what am I doing that's contributing to that? Yeah. I wanted to touch on the
fentanyl concern. You know, there are those fentanyl test strips that are out there. And,
you know, on the one hand, it feels like providing your child with that could be sort of seen as
you're saying, like, go ahead, do whatever you want with pills, whatever. On the other hand,
like, it's a real concern. What are your thoughts about about fentanyl and safety? Oh, God. I don't
know. I can't worry about that. Part of me just feels bad that kids can't live in the world that
we did when we experimented, you know, where we didn't have this issue. You were like, oh,
my God. Right. You know, I was like, you weren't afraid that, like, that you could die and had to
carry around like Narcan and have fentanyl strips. I mean, I've heard crazy story like the other
days. My son were talking about these kids. It had fentanyl strips and they thought that it was
fine. And they one of them ended up odying fentanyl in it. Oh, really?
Terrible. Yeah. And you're like, this is at the end of the day, we're just living. I just
say to my kids, just don't do it. Just don't fucking do it. Yeah. It doesn't seem worth it anymore.
I feel badly, like I grew up in a time where you could try anything and it was pretty much
going to be fine. Yeah. But it's not like that anymore. And you know, it's a bummer because you
do want to experiment and have a little fun. But you can't do that. It's just not worth the risk
at this point. Yeah. That's that's how I see it now. It's like, I do feel like giving somebody
a fentanyl strip is permissive. Right. Right. Okay. Well, if you do it, then yeah, I don't know.
I would, I would feel weird about that as a parrot. Yeah, especially this young, this young.
Well, that's all from bats, but let's jump to our first color. Monica writes, dear Chelsea,
I'm 36 years old and have been with my partner for two and a half years. When we decided to
become exclusive, I asked him where he stood on having kids. He said he was indifferent. He'd be
happy with or without kids. I was clear with him that I want children all was good on that front.
So we moved ahead about a year in. He told me he actually wasn't so sure about having kids.
He realized he hadn't really thought about it that much when I first asked him. And now he's
having second thoughts. I was devastated. Our relationship has been amazing so far. And we decided
to move in together. Permit request. We started couples counseling to help with that transition
in counseling and with his own counselor, he came to the conclusion that his doubts about kids
were rooted in fears he had from his prior marriage and conservative question upbringing.
Thank Jesus. He's no longer religious or married. I'm delighted that he's back on board with having
kids. Now the problem is adoption has long been a dream of mine. He knows this, but it's not a
deal breaker for me. Not wanting kids at all is a deal breaker. Over the last year or so, I began
to realize how important adopting is to me for so many reasons. My partner does not want to adopt
and he's adamant. When I've asked why, he just says he's not interested. I've tried to respect
his wishes, but I'm not ready to let it rest. Where do I go from here? I'm afraid to keep probing
the topic as I don't feel like I have a good idea of other questions to ask or what to say to convey
how important this is to me. Please help Monica. Hi Monica. Hello. Hi Monica. Hi Monica. This is our
special guest Kate Hudson today. Hello. Hi Kate. Hi Chelsea. Hi cutie. Okay Kate. Kate is
passionate. So I'm going to let Kate go first. Well first, there's a lot on Kat here because it sounds
like there's like you, you know, you guys haven't been on the same page for meant for a lot of years.
It's like goes back and forth with the whole kid thing, but there's also, I mean, just simply,
you can't also have babies on your own. Yeah. If adoption is your life purpose and you want to
do that as much as you love him, you need to go adopt a child and have and you'll never regret it.
I'll tell you that. Yeah. But you will regret being with someone where you to feel like you're not
doing something that you're meant to be doing. Yeah. That's how I feel about it. I mean, you know,
really simply like if someone loves you and you're in it together, like then you figure out how to
do it together. And if you're not on the same page, you're never going to be on the same page about
that. Yeah. Yeah. Those are great points. It's interesting. You brought up, you know, being
able to do it on my own. I before this relationship, you know, many years ago, I was very concerned
about finding a partner at all. And I was like, I'm getting too old to start a family. And I finally
came to the point where I accepted and was okay with and happy with the reality that I could go
out and adopt children on my own and and still live a full and happy life. So yeah, it's interesting.
You bring us that point, which is a very salient point because
instinctively, I was thinking like, oh, he was already on the fence about having kids. You
convinced him to do that through therapy. And now you're throwing another wrench at him.
It feels slightly unfair for you to be putting that, you know, you're kind of moving the
gold posts for him. Even though they've been your gold posts, it feels like it's unfair to him for
that. So I, but I think Katie's right. Like you're never going to regret a child. Nobody regrets
having children, you know what I mean? But you will resent somebody for
stopping your dreams to come into full bloom. And that's very valid. And if you think that's
something that you can't live without doing without adoption, then you absolutely need to let him
know that and and prepare to like leave the relationship if he doesn't change his mind. Yeah. Yeah,
that's that's a great point. It's, it's, you know, everything is really great aside from this one
thing that's kind of unresolved. And the idea of leaving him is really hard because I love him so
much. Do you think, you know, the idea of the moving gold posts? Do you feel like this is a conversation
that's fair to have with him to like hope that he gets there? Like if I'm, you know, well, you have
to have the conversation because this is what you want. But did you convey this early on in your
relationship that you were into adoption? Or is this a new or feeling that you've had?
Um, I definitely conveyed it within the first year. I don't recall that I brought it up when I first
told him that I definitely want kids. That was very, very early on when I said that. And in hindsight,
I wish I would have brought up adoption then as well. But yeah, he's known about it for a while.
And it's only been more recently like in the last, I don't know, maybe six months or so that he
has said, you know, we're kind of asked him again. I brought it up at least a second time and he's
like, yeah, I don't think that's something I want to do. And yeah, I guess I'm not sure how to
bring this up again when all he's given me is, I don't want to do that. I'm just not interested.
Yeah, I'm curious like how to get like to what's underneath that.
My therapist always says, you know, when you change, then everything's sort of changing around
you, you know, because at the end of the day, this is really more about you than it is about him.
I think you need to be really clear about what you want first. It's not that, you know, if you
really want to have an adopted, you have the means, obviously, really important to bring us
and to pay for a child on your own. And that's something that is really important to you is adoption.
Then you need to like really lean into that as something that you need to do in your life.
And the more sure you are, then you'll see it will reveal itself.
Yeah, and people do warm up two ideas. You know, I don't think it's like, okay, we have to talk
about this once and decide. Like if you're bringing it up on occasion and talking to him about
how important it is to you, how much you love the idea, like he may warm to the idea.
Well, let me ask you a question Monica. Is it a deal breaker? Like if you want, adoption is more
important than your relationship. I mean, sorry to put it that way, but that's pretty much what it
comes down to. Yeah, you know, and that's kind of something I'm trying to decide where I do think
I need to figure out where I stand on this issue, whether it's a deal breaker or not. I previously
thought just, you know, not wanting kids with a deal breaker and that I could compromise on the
adoption thing, but the more that I've thought about it in the last year. So I'm realizing that it,
I don't know, I'm not to the point yet where I want to call it a deal breaker, but it is very
important to me and I would be sad to give up that dream. Right. Well, I think what you can do is
do you guys go to a couples counseling at all? We have. We're not currently, but we were earlier
this year. Well, you might want to enlist a counselor to kind of talk about it with you because
it's always better to have a third party, I think. But I think there's a very natural sweet way
you can bring it up without putting, it's not like you're ending the relationship, but you're
introducing the idea that this is something that's really become more and more important to you.
Maybe you didn't even realize how important it was the adoption and you're at a time in your
life where you're really thinking like, I don't know if I'm going to be complete without doing this.
And I just need you to know that this is how I'm feeling and I would love for you to change your
mind, but I'm also not here to make you change your mind. Like if you're not on board and I have to
respect that, you have to respect his decision as well as you have as you're respecting your
your own decision, you know, whatever that ends up being and give him the room to think about it
and like soak in the idea of what might that look like as your future. And that way you're giving
each other room and space to breathe and contemplate a decision and a new life and all of those things
without saying this, you better do this or I'm leaving. You know what I mean? It doesn't have to
be like that. Do you guys live together or you live together? Yeah, we do. I mean that there's also
like, you could just be like, I really love you. I want to keep seeing you. I'm going to adopt
I'm a baby. I'm going to get in my own house. And you don't have to raise this baby with me, but
you know, I don't want to end it. Yeah. Yeah. See what I have. You know, they can work. I like that
option. That's a great option. Yeah. When he was uncertain about kids, my counselor suggested
something like that, you know, just, you know, you can live separately, raise a child and still be
together, which is something that I still, I don't know, I haven't been able to fully wrap my head
around because I do want to, you know, have a partner and a, you know, more traditional family.
Yeah. But yeah, I mean, that is, that is an option that I should give some more thought for you.
Truth is, the second, the second it starts happening, you know, if you guys really love each other,
he's probably just going to be all over that child and, you know, I'm thinking the same thing.
I think that that, I think that's a good move. That's a good sideways move. I like that.
We don't usually give sideways advice, or actually, we probably do unknowingly,
but I've never done a sideways. So yeah, think about, think outside the box. You know what I mean?
You're thinking about everything has to be in this perfect little unit. It doesn't necessarily
have to be that way. We live in modern times in some states. So you can, you know, chart your own
course, and you should definitely be a mother. I can tell by your whole aura and energy that
you're a maternal and you should live that dream out, you know, thank you. You're very motherly.
I can see it. Thank you. I just think that that's so amazing because there's so, there's so many
kids that need homes and I have so many friends who've adopted and it's just the, it's just the best
and it's just, you know, everything. So, yeah. And of course, having your own kid doesn't preclude
you from adopting Monica. You know, you might have a kid together, adopt and have another kid later.
That's a great way to trap him. Have the baby together and then adopt the baby.
Perfect. You know, what the fuck hit him? He'll be like, whoopsie doodle. How'd I end up here?
Thank you so much. Thanks for calling in Monica. Good luck with everything. Thank you all.
Thank you. Thank you all. Okay, we'll do. Bye bye. Okay, bye. You just reminded me to drink my water.
Yeah. It's so fun. I know. It's so fun. I'm going to do this on my podcast with Oliver. I'm going to
steal this. Kate's podcast is called sibling revelry. If you guys haven't heard it, I was on there
with my sister as her, the first episode of her first episode. I loved it. Oh my god, your sister's
the block. Okay, we have one more. Yeah, we have the same for the last one. Yeah, should we take a
quick break and we'll come back for our last call? Sure. We'll take a quick break.
Summer is coming, everybody. And we all know how difficult it is to find a swimsuit that you feel
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Now you just come to El Tour.com or in your travel books. Four times here in your
career. In the world of murderous cults, if Charles Manson is king, Cecilia Stein is queen.
She conditioned them to be monsters. We are all so horrified by the idea that a mother would
sell her daughter in this way. Why stab someone 65 times in a chase? Queen havoc in her murder cult
is a new podcast that investigates the four year killing spree carried out by a religious cult
in South Africa. She was telling people the Bible since she was going to kill, but actually she
was taking revenge. She actually copied the American serial killers a little bit of Charles Manson.
You can see a bit of sons of Sam. Cecilia's cult called electus per deus killed 11 people over four
years. Every time you think you understand what's happening, you realize that you're wrong.
They let it go. That is what happened. Listen to queen havoc from the executive producers of Hell
and Gone on the iHeart Radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
And we're back. We're back. Julia is calling in from the woods somewhere. So I'll give you the
quick and dirty. She really needs some unbiased advice. She's got a couple of kids. I believe
we're on seven and nine and they live near a city in Canada, but they're really thinking about
moving up north, kind of in the middle of nowhere, get out in the country, raise their kids, be a
little more worried. Oh, goodbye. Yeah. So, um, but she's truly torn because her mom and other
family and friends are in the area that she currently lives in. And she thinks her mom's going to
be really totally devastated if they were to move. She says, please Chelsea, don't say if you're
asking you already know the answer, like you do a lot because I truly don't know what to do and
feel split down the middle. So she's calling us from a cabin in the woods, but not the one they
may be moving to. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, are you in this goka? Oh my god, I'm so close. Yes,
I'm not right there, but we passed through it actually to the where we are. I grew up in
Moscow. I grew up out going every summer. Oh my god, do your parents still go there? No, no,
we sold our, we sold the house and everything, but yeah, you guys are like the talk of the town up
here. It's so beautiful country. Honestly, it's just the best. I miss it so much. I know why you want
to move. Yeah, yeah, it's tricky because it is so beautiful and you see the value of living like
that and raising kids in that environment, right? Yeah, like I get that, but there's so many other
factors that it makes it a heart. It's harder than it seems. How long is the drive? Are you like
two hours or are you long? No, we are just north of Toronto. So we are about four, we'll pass
some scope out. We're actually on Manitulan Island. So it's like four, four or five hours.
Okay, so it's a long, it's a long drive. Yeah, but it's not, yeah, like it's not like
undoable. I mean, four or five hours, people do that on the weekends all the time. I mean,
I know. I think that's the thing is I'm so conflicted with like it's not a big deal. It's not like
we're moving to the other side of the world, but some people will respond in that way as if we are
moving to the other side of the world. Yeah, but this is your fucking life. What are you doing? You
can't let other people direct what you're going to do. You're not moving to another country.
You're moving five hours away. And while that might be a hard pill to swallow in the beginning,
everyone will adjust that this is not a breakup. But I have the same issue. Can I just like
totally relate to this because I live seven blocks from my mom. My brother is two minutes,
literally literally two minutes down the street. My other brother is eight. And I'm always like,
I don't want to live in Los Angeles. I don't, I, I, I, LA doesn't move me. And I can't move.
And I'm like, I would be, it would be devastating to all of us. It want, like we have to move
is this pack. And yeah, then like you're like something's wrong with you. Yeah. Oh my god,
you are literally describing the dynamic of the whole situation because while like I understand it
and I could see it, I probably like we could find somewhere that's like comfortable with both of us.
I don't want to be too rural out in the hips, but like somewhere kind of middle ground that we're all
happy with. And it's like good for our kids and stuff. But my mom will lose her mind because
these are her only grandkids. And that's her livelihood. Her whole life revolves around my kids.
And so she will never move up here. No, she will never move up here. And like she hates driving.
Like if it's like literally like if there's a, if it's no, she won't drive. If it rains, she won't
drive. If it's nighttime, she won't drive like she. So it's so hard for her to like travel four and a
half hours in northern Toronto in the winter is brutal. It's brutal. So it's like I'd have to
like go and pick her up and bring her back. Like if she's retired, so she could stay with us for
long periods of time and have nice visits and stuff. But I just know that like having that conversation
will be a disaster. It'll be like devastating her and you're leaving me and all this stuff for
her. She's 67 like she's still young. Well, why don't you do it for a couple of years and see what
happens? I guess. Yeah, because my husband, I feel like once we go, we're never going to come back
though, because my husband loves it up here. And he's like, I'm sick of over living. I hate it.
I've sacrificed and lived there for you. Like we've done this now. Let's have another chapter.
Let's try something new. And part of me is like, am I making a big deal? Am I being a spoiled brat
and just like not want to do it? Because I don't like change. Or should I just suck it up and do it?
Or is it my gut telling me not to do it? Like I have so many, like friends are like, you can't
leave your mother and like, yes, you should move. Like I'm so conflicted that I literally don't.
I'm just like at a standstill because I don't know what to do.
I honestly, I really think you have to just go do what's right for you and your family. And I think
your mother will adjust and the conversation will be very difficult initially. But I think you'll
be surprised by how quickly she turns around and starts driving long distances and starts spending
more time with you and contemplates even, you know, spending maybe months at a time with you.
It's just the conversation that's scaring the shit out of you because you know what her reaction
is going to be. But the sooner you have that conversation, the sooner she's going to get used to
the idea. Yeah. I think that's exactly right. Like a floating the idea out before you're like,
this is what we're doing and when it's happening, it could be really helpful.
Right. Yeah. Yeah. We've sort of like danced around it, but I can tell it's like not going to
go smoothly. So we just like leave it and talk about that. But that's not a reason to not do it.
And also you can set up like, hey, this is this is our plan. We're going to come back every
whatever once a month and spend the weekend with you. You're going to we're going to come get you
for a week a month or whatever the schedule is like lay that out so that, you know, there's comfort
in that. And there's like consistency and a schedule that's being set. Yeah. Yeah. For sure.
I think that's the thing is just giving her that comfort. And frame it that it is temporary.
Just say that for everyone's sake, just say we're just going to try this for a couple years
so that everyone can warm up to the idea because that way if you do end up staying by that time,
everyone's going to be over it anyway. Family are resilient. And they rebound from the trauma
and they come back to you. You know, if you're a close-knit family, no one's going anywhere
anyway. It's not a true. My brother moved to Colorado for two years. And we were all like,
are you serious? Like this is, it was devastating to all of us. And before we knew it,
he was back and everything was fine. Yeah. I think it's almost just like the anxiety is like,
but before it even happens, you have more anxiety than you even need to. That's what you're doing.
Yeah. Do you want to move? Do you want to move? Or is it more your husband?
It's like if he said tomorrow, like, no, never mind. Let's just cancel everything and stay.
I'd be happy where we are. Like it's a lovely community. It's a beautiful, small little,
like it's a beautiful area where we live now. So I'm, we're happy there. But he's like,
I think we can do more. We can, like his business could do well here. I can work remote. I work
from wherever. So we have that like flexibility. And it's just like, it's beautiful up here. So he's
just like, this is why, what are we, what are we doing? Like what we're in early 40s? Let's do
something else that we're with the hell, right? So and I totally see it. It's like more,
more money, more opportunities, better lifestyle. I see all the pros, but then I'm just like,
I just keep pulling myself back to like, I hate change. And like part of me is like, can I mentally
go through a big move and like rip my kids out of the school and like start over and leave all
our friends and part of me is like, can I even handle that? Because that scares me. It's not even
just like my mom and stuff. It's like the scary, I don't like change. Yeah, but you can handle it.
And you will handle it if that's what you choose to do. And you can handle it. And this is a
difficult conversation. And this is what adulthood is about. It's about having difficult moments
with people we love when sometimes you have to like give somebody bad news. So it's like I
testament to your like, you know, enduring strength as a woman and it's empowering. So I think
you should look at it from that. Like you're taking a stance for your family and you're doing what's
right for your family for this period of time. And that doesn't mean anyone's going to be ex-communicated.
You're all just going to adjust to it together. If that's, you know, if you really feel this way
and I think you should go, I think the way Kate described it the way you're describing it,
it just sounds beautiful. And why not have an adventure? Yeah, no, I didn't. So I think that's the
thing. It's like deep down. I have that little voice. Like when we come up here, it's like,
oh, it is so gorgeous. And it's like, but I'm so scared, right? Like I just don't like change.
They also say that when you do things like that, you just, you live longer. Yeah, they say when you
up, when you change, when you go into new environments and you have these like different experiences,
it's actually, it like, it literally rejuvenates yourselves. Yeah, I could see that. Yeah,
it makes, yeah, I think I just don't like being out of my comfort zone. And I just, I think if
it could, though, be a growth experience from everything, right? So just saying it, if this is
about you and anxiety, then you need to go. Yeah. I mean, you need to like be more fearless.
And just, yeah, I know. I think that's what it is. It's just like you're in your comfort zone with
like your family and your kids and schools and everything. And it's just scary to like start over
and just move somewhere where it's brand new. Everything's brand new. It's scary, right? So,
but anyways, no, everything you're saying, it's like, I think deep down, I know all that. And
it's just hard to like come to terms with it. Well, this is the kick in your ass that you're
looking for. Okay. Yeah. We're really like the wrong people because we really live on the road.
All we do is we're like circus folk. I'm going to live till I'm I'm going to live till I'm
150 for all the new environments I'm exposed to. Yeah. Yeah. I'm good luck to you and let us know
what happens. Okay. Keep in touch with us. Send us a postcard from up North. Yeah. Thanks to meet you.
Thank you so much. Nice meeting you. This was awesome. Thank you so much.
Bye, Julia. Bye. How did you know exactly? That was so funny.
Didn't even say Canada like the SCOCA. Well, the late country when she set up North, like that's
what we call from Toronto, the all late country. And the SCOCA is like kind of the biggest sort of
Algonquin. It's honestly guys. It's like heaven up there. It's it's the most beautiful place in
the world. To me, that's where I'm going to buy a bunch of acres for global warming is northern
Canada. That seems to be the safest place to do it. I'm going to buy 100 acres and then tell
anybody that they want that the kinsh is come build and keep about 50 feet in between dwellings.
Okay. I'll show you where to go. Yeah. You will. You're a climatologist. You'll know where to go.
Uh-huh. That's right. Kate, this was so much fun. Thank you so much for being with us today.
I love you. You know how much I love you. I love you so much. And you gave great fucking advice
on top of it. I did. You did. Yes. I could talk to I could talk forever on this. How do you
even take a bite? I could like literally talk it down. Yeah. Well, you contributed. So thank you
and I will see you soon. Thanks for having me. Love you. Thanks. Love you. Thanks, Kate. Bye. Bye.
Okay, guys. Also, I have added more second shows to my little big bitch tour. I added second shows
in Hollywood at the pantages. I am going to be there two nights. October 12th and 13th. I added
another show at the Chicago theater. October 27th and October 28th, one of my favorite places to
perform. I added another show in Portland. So I'll be there November 2nd and 3rd and I added a
second show in Boston at the weighing center. So I will be there November 16th and 17th. I also
have two shows in Seattle, San Francisco, New York at the beacon and Washington, DC. I will be
there October 5th and 6th and a special shout out to Phoenix, Arizona, where I'm coming Saturday,
October 14th and then I'm coming to Cleveland, Columbus and Pittsburgh. So suck on that, you
guys. I can't wait to see everybody. Oh, and I'm coming to Eugene, Oregon too, everybody. That's
November 9th, 2023 and I will be at the clubhouse in East Hampton, which is going to be a very intimate
show on Saturday, August 26th. So if you are in the Long Island area, that's where I'll be the clubhouse.
If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at beerchelsypodcast.com and be sure to
include your phone number. Beer Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert, executive producer
Catherine Law and be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHandler.com.
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From the executive producers of Helen Gone comes a new podcast investigating the serial murders
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