Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart.
I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences
by tackling unusual questions, like, can we create new senses for humans?
So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality.
Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Oh let me hear the integral of Mara Lanegra and I have some big news.
The Exactly-A-Mara podcast is back for season 2.
I am so happy to be sharing this new journey with all of you.
I'm going to be talking about all the challenges of being an entrepreneur, business woman,
and doing it all as a single mom. We're still going to be keeping it spicy with a touch of
SaaSome. Listen to exactly-A-Mara as part of the Michael Suda podcast network available on the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Looking for a show where you don't have to look far to see yourself? Welcome to the Professional
Hunger Podcasts. I'm your host, Ebeneh. And every Tuesday, I interview women of color from all walks
of life. And all of my guests are anonymous. So you're here stories from survivors to spirituality
and family secrets. And let's not forget about the professionals out there, okay? Listen to the
Professional Hunger Podcasts with Ebeneh, presented to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network on the
iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, Catherine. Oh, hello, Chelsea. Oh, hello. Shabbat Shalom.
I have an update from Chloe, who we talked to on our Laurel and Jackson episode. She was the one
who was having trouble finding work, and she'd kind of like been going after it for so long, and
wasn't getting any feedback or any responses to her resumes. So Chloe says,
Laurel and Jackson is magical. On January 3rd, I started a full-time job working in media and
marketing at a local indie book publisher. Can you believe it? Thanks for reaching out, and big,
thanks for blessing me with being seen by Laurel and Jackson. It's all happening.
Yes. It was like two weeks to the day after I shifted my energy, it all started happening.
I thought that was so great. And then she also said, one last thing,
knowing what Laurel and Jackson is about, signs, angels, I can't help but feel like Chelsea's
angels helped work some magic for me. My new job is across the street from a place called Chewies.
Oh, that's so cute. It's so sweet. Yeah. I just loved that. I just loved that.
So you know what? This stuff about shifting your energy, it really is. It works. Everybody,
it works. And if people don't know what we're talking about, all the books we're talking about
will teach you the way. And if you're listening to us and you're like, what does that mean? What
does that mean? It's like, you want to bring positivity into your life. You want to bring inspiration
into your life. You want to attract goodness, right? And high vibes. You don't want to sit
around being negative. Like you just have to think all the negative thoughts pile up, pile up,
and then you are just like a negative trash bin. Like you are just attracting that and you're stuck.
And so when you start to flip it and just go, okay, I'm going to look at this as a positive.
Even when things don't turn out the way you want, go, this is an opportunity for growth.
This is an opportunity for me not to get upset and for me to figure out a solution without getting
angry, without reacting. You'll be amazed at how quickly you can grow and how quickly things
start to be easier. It's like life doesn't have to be hard. We make it hard by our reactions to
things. So you could always choose another way. Well, with that in mind, we have somebody really
exciting joining us today. I recommended her book a bunch of times, even on this podcast.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. She's celebrating the 10 year anniversary of her number one New York Times best
seller. You are a bad house, how to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life.
She has a few other books too, but we're celebrating the 10 year anniversary of this one. So please
welcome New York Times best selling author and celebrated voice in the world of self development.
Jen Sincero. Hi, Jen. Thank you so much for having me on. I'm so, so psyched. Oh, hi. Nice to meet you,
Jen. You too, Chelsea. You are just such, such a bad ass. Oh, well, yes. Well, you wrote the book
on badasses. This is, I know you're coming up on your 10 year anniversary, right? Yeah. For your book,
which was a very big, big hit and continues to be, which is called You Are a Badass, How to Stop
Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. And Katherine is very passionate,
and has been very passionate about your book. So it's very inspiring. Yeah, I've mentioned it on
this podcast many times. We get a lot of people calling in who are like, I'm just feeling so lost.
I don't know what to do next. And I know for me, when I was at a very similar point in my life to that,
your book was very life changing for me. So happy to hear that.
But Jen, tell us a little bit about what kind of woke you up because I know you were kind of going
through a crisis of sorts, right? When you decided to take your life by the balls and make something
happen with yourself. Yeah, it was like a 40 year crisis, basically, just like, you know,
I spent a lot of fun. I was traveling. I was playing music, but I was just always so broke.
And I was actually living in a garage in an alley in Venice Beach. And I was like 40 years old.
And I was just like, seriously, this is the best you can do. So, you know, it wasn't sort of like
the lightning bolt, like I was got hit by a bus. And then I finally got my shit together. But it was
more just, first of all, being broke is bullet ring. And second of all, I was like, I just had this
feeling that there was so much more I could be doing with my life and that I wasn't doing it. And that
was so much more painful than anything, honestly. And so I just made the decision. And you know,
you don't have to wait until your life completely bottoms out to make a decision to change stuff.
So I just, I made the decision. I started reading all the self help books. I went to all the
any seminar I was there with like my little name tag high five and people telling them they're
awesome, hugging all these weird strangers like, I didn't care whatever I had to do. I did it.
And then in that process, I, you know, I read every self help book under the sun. I was like,
I could write a funny one. No one's written a funny one. Where's the one with all the curses and
like, can write stories, making fun of my family and stuff like that. So that's, that started what
led to the idea because I was a writer already broke right. And then what would happen after that?
You just started writing a book. I hired a coach and I was reading the books and I started my own
online life coaching business started making a lot of money and really figured that if I could
crack the code, like, because really I was so deeply immersed in a poverty consciousness.
And it was such a part of my identity. And I was like, if I can get my act together, anybody can,
like I was just so white knuckling it, you know, fighting for like, I can't make money.
You know, I'm living in a garage in my 40s. Like I was proving it all the time. So I was like,
okay, my story was so deep and so boring and lasted so long that I knew I could tell it
that people had to do it. So that's, that's sort of what inspired me writing the book. And then
it just took off. It was sort of a slow build. I call it the yellow snowball because it just
kept getting bigger and bigger. And we didn't make it under the New York Times list until three
years after the book was out and it's stayed like five years. It just keeps growing. It's incredible.
Wow, that's incredible. So you talk a lot about manifestation, but you also talk about doing all
of the work that is needed in order to manifest something and which is, I think, a good area to
start talking about as well, because I think a lot of people think, okay, if I manifest it,
I think it's going to happen. Like it's not a magic trick. You actually have to move towards
that goal. Right. And you got to do a lot of stuff that scares the crap out of you. So that
really is sort of the, you know, the teachings, it's all the things. It's the meditating and
getting quiet and allowing universal intelligence to lead the way and follow your intuition instead
of following your mindset, which is what got you where you are right now. So it really is about
thinking outside the box instead of saying things like, I'm, I can't afford it. I'm too broke, you
know, to sort of shift it to money flows to me easily and freely, which is what I kept saying
over and over, even though I was still living in the garage. But it's about opening up to the
greater possibility instead of staying with your blinders on. And then opportunities come your way
that have been there all along. But then you're like, Oh, maybe I should hire that coach who charges
one a third of my annual income. You know, then when you start to shift your mindset,
the possibilities that arise, you don't suddenly excuse your way out of them, you start to figure
out how you're going to figure it out and make it happen. And how has your life changed since you
were 40? Oh my God. I now have a garage instead of living it. It's been so much fun. I mean,
I've written three more books in the badass brand. I've been traveling the world and
helping wake people up. You know, it's so much fun to really be able to help people live their
one and only life on planet earth in a much more satisfying and fun way. So it's just been awesome.
Yeah, it is a real gift to be able to like inspire people and lift them up out of their
depression or negative space that they're in and be like, come on, you can get the ball rolling in
a different direction. And I think it just takes, you know, sometimes you can't get that from within.
Sometimes you do need somebody else to kick you in the ass before you understand that you need
to kick yourself and they ask to keep things moving because there's always a choice about how we're
going to move forward. And if we're going to accept our circumstances, or we're going to do
everything we can to change them, right? Exactly. You have to have ambition about what your future
is going to be. Yeah. And I think what you said, like, do whatever it takes, like that really is
sort of, you know, we, we all get to a certain point and then we freak out because it's too expensive
or we might look stupid. And when you've made that decision, you're not screwing around anymore,
you run straight towards a thing that scares the crap out of you the most. And I really feel like
that makes all the difference in the world. And I also think honestly, like what you're doing
and, you know, doing it with some comedy and some levity, I feel like that opens it up to a whole
new audience who wouldn't touch this kind of stuff with a 10 foot pole. So that was part of my goal,
too. Yeah, I think that's so important for someone who might be just dipping their toe into this
water, like reading books. I know, Jen, you've talked about like thinking, grow rich and these
other like kind of more old school self help books, but constantly filling your mind with
something that is going to raise your frequency is so hugely helpful. I know that's something both
of you do. Yeah, it's important because it's easy to sit and watch a dumb show. That's easy.
It's better to watch something you don't know anything about like a documentary or, you know,
I watch this full swing golf documentary. I can't stand golf, but I'm like, well, that's better
than watching some fucking stupid drama about, you know what I mean? At least I'm going to learn
about golf. Like maybe I'll need to know something about golf one day. Hopefully I don't ever need
to know anything about it. But you know, all of those things, it's like you make choices about how
to like fill your cup more, right? My cup of knowledge, like it's so important for me to always
be learning and to always be leaning something. I read three fiction books when I got to Whistler
this year and I was like, that's enough. Okay, you had your cake and now it's time to do some real
work. Like the next book has to be, you know, like a serious nonfiction historical, like I put
so much pressure on myself, but it's like, they're argument about not putting too much pressure on
or not putting enough pressure on yourself, you know, like we do have to pressure ourselves.
Everything comes from us. Everything comes from within. And when you are not trying to evolve or
learn, then you kind of are stagnant and you kind of are stuck. And you're just doing the things that
you like to do all the time. It's like, that should be a huge part of your life doing things you like
to do. But it's also so beneficial to constantly be challenging and learning. Like my niece was
up here and she was talking about Martin Luther and Lutheranism and how, you know, the Protestant
church and how it was created. And I was like, huh, I don't remember that name. And I must have missed
that day or week or month about Lutheranism and Martin Luther. And she told me all about it,
you know, and then I got a book. I'm like, all right, my 18 year old niece just schooled me on
Martin Luther. And I'm like, okay, great, motivating. Like she just motivated me to go read a book
about Martin Luther. So now I know what the fuck I'm talking about. And that feels so good to like
the knowledge is power, more knowledge, more power, more growth. And like you said, when you fill your
cup, it can overflow onto the people around you with knowledge, with brightness, with lightness,
all of that. Yeah, I call going to the spiritual gym, like, you don't get to get in shape and then
say and shape, like you got to keep exercising the mindset muscles. So
absolutely, absolutely. And the exercise of meditation, this comes up all the time, how boring
it is or people don't think they're doing it well because their thoughts are moving. It's like,
it's okay if your thoughts are moving, if you can't control your thoughts and you can't be
completely blank, that's okay. It's the act of the meditation, cumulatively, that adds to you,
like that, that brings something you're setting certain amount of time aside every morning to be
with yourself. That's something that's not nothing regardless of whether you think you're doing it
well or not, because there isn't really a measure of that either. And what other little tricks do
you have up your sleeve things that you do as a part of your daily routine? Ah, let's see, I'm big
hiker. So getting outside and moving is always a great energy shifter for me. Music definitely,
when I was working on this, I had to put a moratorium on listening to Neil Young because a lot of
Neil, but he's so fucking depressing. It was so depressing. I have a Neil Young playlist too. And
sometimes I'm like, no, I'm going to kill myself. It's like, yeah, I put on Paul Simon to feel good
and then Neil Young pops up and I'm like, no, no, no, it was too dark. I better get tricked on
here. Yeah, so it was no Neil Young. But like, you know, music that pumps you up hanging out with
people who inspire you is great listening to podcasts like this, you know, just, but you got to have
it down. You got to have a routine down. You can't just sort of wing it every morning. I think it's
really important to know when you're meditating, to know where you're meditating, to know, you know,
have your playlist, have your little routine. If you read a book for like five minutes every morning,
you got to make it like a gym workout, because otherwise you won't do it. And then, you know,
then you wake up at 90 with your teeth in a cup and you're like, what happened in my life? I was
going to be so off of him. So. And what can you think of it as far as your life coaching? Are there
any examples of really inspiring transformations that you were able to see in another person?
Oh, yeah. So so many. One of the things I love that has been coming up a lot is people with money.
I think I think money is so interesting. And because I studied it so in-depth and because I
really had such a massive transformation around and I'm a little obsessed by it. And that whole
concept that money is currency and currency is energy. So money is just an energetic exchange
between people. And when you work the wickety woo and like meditate and get in touch with source
and focus on abundance and being in the flow energetically with money, which really is what
it's all about. That's what the mantras are about. And that's why you don't walk around saying,
I can't afford it. And you say money flows to me easily and freely. That's about that frequency.
And I can't tell you how many clients of mine have had stories about needing an exact amount of
money. This one guy that I just talked to you had a business that tanked and he needed $249,000
to sort of carry his lifestyle over and to start to launch his new business. And that amount of
money came in out of the clear blue sky just so unexpected. And it was from an old business that
he forgot that he was closing down. But it was the exact amount of money. And this happens all
the time when people need to pay their rent or whatever it is. So the energy that you put on
money and the focus of the specifics, it comes in all the time, which is really exciting.
I had a really similar experience not long ago. I had a job that was supposed to pay me this like
very weirdly specific amount of money. And I wound up leaving that job because the fit wasn't right,
the energy was bad. It was a bit toxic, etc. And I felt like it was the right thing for me to leave
that job. And when I went on to the next job, I felt this sort of confirmation that the had been
the right choice because I wound up getting a bonus of exactly that same amount of money for the
next thing that I wound up doing. And it just felt a little bit like a nod from the universe of like
you did the right thing. And what was one of the most impactful things for you, Catherine,
when you read the book originally? I think having mantras and having those sorts of things were
really helpful for me. And there was a time in the beginning where it felt like I was faking it.
Like it felt, you know, I was coming from a place where there was some self-deprecating humor,
this sort of self-talk stuff. And it wasn't fun for anyone else to hear it. It also wasn't fun for me.
And so reading your book talked about like, even if it feels like you're totally faking it,
changing the language around how you talk to yourself, you know, it starts with you have the
thought or you say the thing that's derogatory or negative. And then you switch and you might say
this thing that feels so out of character, whether it's about beauty or whether it's about positivity
or how successful you are or money saying to yourself something different. It feels very difficult at
first. But then after a while, it becomes such a habit and it raises your energy. Like it just
makes you feel so much better to talk about yourself, to talk about the way you live your life in a
positive way that it changes everything around you. It changes how people react to you. It changes
the sort of opportunities that come to you. It changes just really how you feel on a really deep
level. And that was beautiful. Yeah. And it's like a job. It's a full-time job to keep yourself
and your vibration high. It's active work. It's not like you can just fix yourself and like you
go to therapy and you're done or you learned how to meditate, but you're done with that too. Like,
no, you have to actively constantly bring yourself up, right? And keep yourself there.
And you know, and the self-help world gets a lot of shade for being like, you know, you're going to
be all Pollyanna. Like somebody runs over your foot and you're supposed to be in a good mood about
it. You know, it's not about not being human and not having emotions and not having temper tantrums
and freaking out and pity parties and all that, but it's about not identifying with that and not
staying there and not feeding the beast and dragging it through the mud forever. You know, it's about
feeling your feelings and then making conscious choices on where you're going to place your focus
moving forward. Yeah. And also not being a victim. You know, I can imagine that you must have felt
like a victim for a long time living in a garage, but like, there isn't a victim. We're not victims.
Like we have the ability to pull ourselves out of anything. So when you're in that victim state of
mind and you blaming everybody else for everything that's going on in your life, like, then you are
stuck. You have to take yourself out and take responsibility for your own actions and behave
like a fucking queen, behave like you want to be seen and like you want to see yourself.
And that means raising it up like, okay, I only have the power to take care of myself. You know,
I used to be such a victim mentality. I would be broken. I would blame this person and that
person. It's like you're broke because you're waiting tables and you don't save any money.
That's why you're broke. That's why you have to ask for loans from your family every year when I was
in my twenties, you know, and I, and if they didn't want to give me money, I'd be mad at them. I'd
be like, Oh, how can you not help me? It's like what? Like it was just such an immature state of
mind, you know? So every one of us is a queen. Okay. And I'm talking to all the gay men out there
too. You guys are queens with us. Okay. So, Katherine, what do we have in store for us today?
I think a lot of stuff that is right up both of your alleys. We have a question about meditation,
which I think is really good and solid. We have some self love stuff, some stuff around how people
feel about themselves, some how do I change my life stuff? But let's take a quick break and we'll be
right back with Jen and Chelsea. Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos
on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University and I've spent my career
exploring the three pound universe in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the
relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better
understand our lives and our realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a
car accident? Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the
rotation of the planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior,
your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeart
Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This case has all the markings of a
ritualistic occult murder. The man of our caves. I say the Lord works in mysterious ways. A brand
new immersive fiction podcast. Well, he had got nothing on the demo. Part psychological thriller,
part supernatural horror. The truth? Sometimes it's revealed in the intersection of facts.
Sometimes it's hidden in gore. Starring Westworld's Jonathan Tucker and Eddie Gethegi from Twilight.
I wouldn't go digging around stirring up trouble if I was sheen. Tune in to uncover what happened
when three boys entered a Tennessee cave. But only one returned. This is the exact spot where
we found the body's jewelry. The Manta Walk Caves, M-A-N-T-A-W-A-U-K. A production of iHeart Radio,
Womhouse Television, and Psychopia Pictures. Every minute I remain in Manta Walk County,
the thick of the fall gets. Listen to the Manta Walk Caves now on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hi, I'm Rosie O'Donnell and I've got a new podcast called Onward
With Me, Rosie O'Donnell on iHeart. I'm 60 years old now. Believe that? Yes, it's the truth.
So I figure two-thirds of my life are done. Zero to 30, 30 to 60, and now I'm in the 60 to 90 if I'm
lucky. Mostly, this part of my life is just about moving forward. And I thought, what a wonderful
way to do it. With the podcast that I can sit down here in my home, with people I love and admire,
people I've worked with, people I've gotten to be friends with, and some family friends that feel
like the real deal. Like who, you might ask? Natasha Leon, Jennifer Lewis, Ricky Lake, Fran Drescher,
Sharon Gless, Kathy Griffin, Cameron Mannheim. The list goes on and on. Listen to Onward With
Rosie O'Donnell, a proud part of the outspoken podcast network on the iHeart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
And we're back. We're back. So Jen, we have people right in. We also have collars who will be joining
us as well. But I wanted to start with this question, and I thought it was very sweet and very honest.
Drew says, dear Chelsea, my question is not related to any specific problem I'm enduring or
a situation I'm dealing with. It's general and broad, and I'm afraid it might sound dumb, but...
What is meditation? You talk about it all the time and how transformative it's been for you.
I feel like I need a transformation too, but I'm not sure where to start. Do I download Headspace
and just start listening to their recordings? Do I just sit in silence for a few minutes? What
do you think about when you meditate? How do you do it? Thanks for being a source of humor, advice,
and love for millions of people. I genuinely can't explain how iconic and important you are. Please
keep doing you. Drew. I would say that meditation is whatever works for you. Yes, download Headspace.
Start there. That's very pedestrian, right? Like you can get into it. It's clear, it's guided. It
helps you understand what you're doing. And the idea of meditation is to drop all of your thoughts,
but that's the goal. That's not always the act. You know what I mean? It's hard for us to drop
our thoughts. The goal of meditation is to be focusing on your breath, to be envisioning the
thing that makes you calm down and focus on your in and out breath a lot. There's different forms
of meditation, but to just get into it, the idea that you think you need it means you do.
Everyone can benefit from meditation, and many people do it by sitting alone without any guidance.
I don't. I have the Chopra app, which I like because there are classes and series, so I can do a
class for 10 days and every morning it's 20 minutes on letting go or a spiritual awakening or whatever
you choose. But Headspace is probably the easiest way to get into meditation, I would say. So that's
a great start. And then you decide what you like. You sample a bunch. You know, you try calm. You
can try the Chopra app. You can try Eckhart Tolle. You can try like all these different kinds of
ways to do it. And it's an important gift to give to yourself because it's forcing you to sit still.
And most of us are not doing that. You know, we're not sitting still without watching TV or
reading a book or working on something. We're sitting, we're never sitting still alone with our thoughts.
And the idea of meditation is to drop your thoughts, to have your thoughts just stay out of the way.
Like when a thought comes, you're supposed to be like, okay, let it pass. And then I'm going to get
back into the breathing and the focusing on myself. I always think about like these beautiful lights
around me. I think about my mother and my brother is like my spirit guides and all of that
niceness. I just, it's all love and happiness and warm fuzzies for me. Jen, what's your
experience with meditation? Oh, I'm in just a better mood. If I do it, I'm nicer. My friends like me
more. Yeah, it's a good intention setting for the day. Yeah. And I also recommend if you're starting
and it's difficult to start small, like start with seven minutes and then just work your way
up. Don't make yourself do 30 minutes right at the get go. And honestly, for me, it's just when you
slow down your thoughts and you move them aside, it strengthens your intuition. It strengthens
your connection with the universal intelligence, which knows a hell of a lot more than we do. So
if you're looking for answers, sometimes it's really nice to just sort of have that question
floating around and then you can meditate and just whatever little hunt you get, like if it's like,
go buy all over bread. That might lead you towards something that you're looking for answers for. You
just don't really know. So the thing that I think is so lovely about meditation is it strengthens
your ability to hear those hunches and to feel those hits and then to go act on them. And that's
that's where the real party starts because they what do they say like 90% of our thoughts are just
regurgitated and aren't actually helpful and are not moving us in the direction we want to be
going. So we get into habits of thought. And so when you want to change your life, you don't want
to keep thinking the same damn thoughts because those are the ones that got you where you are
right now. So that's the great thing about meditation is that it breaks that habit of thought and
allows you to expand your thought process and just go a lot, lot bigger than where you are right now.
Yeah. And I think that's why this question did come up for Drew is it can look so many different
ways like Chelsea, I remember on the Ben Bruno episode, he was like, why don't meditate? But I
do this box breathing where I breathe in for four, hold it for four, breathe out for four.
And you were like, but that is meditation. You know, you're focusing on your breath,
you're listening, you're getting quiet. And it can look so different for everybody. Yeah. Yeah.
You know, once ever started meditating and been like that fucked me up. So just start.
Yes. And what the dolly llama who said everybody should meditate for an hour unless you're really
busy and then you should meditate for two. Yes. Yeah. It helps to sleep. It helps with all the
things. So Drew, let us know how it goes on your meditation journey. Our next question comes from
a caller. We have Kenya here with us. Kenya is 35. And she says, dear Chelsea, I first want to
start by saying how amazing you are in your podcast is exactly what I needed. I love how honest you
are. And I strive to be like that instead of just trying to people, please all the time.
I'm Canadian and love how much you love my country. So here is where I need help. I was single for a
very long time until I found an amazing man who is truly just one of the best humans I've ever met.
And now we're getting married. We had the finance talk very early on, but I still have a hard time
not feeling embarrassed about my student loan debt. My fiance is very supportive, but I've always
been a very independent person. I've paid my own bills since I was 16 and never asked for help
financially. So I'm having a hard time. And I just feel bad to bring this burden of my student loan
into our marriage. I know I'm very hard on myself. Even when I'm wedding planning, I try to do the
bare minimum because I feel like I don't deserve to spend much on anything because I'm still paying
my student loan. How can I stop feeling embarrassed about my debt and learn to ask for help when I need
it? I want to be excited about my future and my wedding, but the anxiety and worry about money
is just so overpowering. Love Kenya. Worry. I was reading that. I was reading that about worry and
stress and what a waste of time both of those things are right? Stressing about things or
overthinking things and running through the obsessing about things. It's such a waste of energy. And
when you're talking about Jen, telling yourself a new story, that's exactly what it is, you have
to start creating a new narrative that is in your head and discarding the old one, which is easier
said than done, but it's easier than people think. It's just so much easier than people think. Yeah.
The choice. And it really is. And it's that awareness of like, okay, I keep telling myself that
I'm a big fat loser because I'm in debt. But at least once you become aware of that,
you can change the thought. You can really focus on changing that mantra.
It's like when something doesn't go the way that you are expecting it to go. Even in a day, like,
oh, something gets canceled or the person that's picking you up can no longer pick you up. The
reaction to that should be like, okay, great. Now let me figure out another way, not like,
fuck, people get so stuck in their reaction to something. Like, oh, I can't believe she's not
picking me up. I can't help. I'm supposed to get there now. It's like pretty easily if you just
use your head. Like you can find another way. There's always another way and it's just so much less
hard on your body and brain to stop obsessing and belaboring the same idea. So true. I mean,
they say disease is disease like it is hard on your body like that kind of stuff. It's really
unhealthy stresses a massive killer, you know, it's also like in this book, I love letting go.
They were talking about being okay with embarrassing yourself. There's a very specific chapter on
dancing and I don't dance because I'm very self-conscious when I dance and it talked about letting go.
Let go of your insecurity. Let go be free with your body. And this weekend I went to this party
and I danced for like two hours. My friends had never seen me dance like that. I was like,
you know what? I'm going to do that. I'm going to fucking go and just look like an idiot and who
gives a shit and there were hundreds of people there and I did look like an idiot because my
friend videotaped me and showed it to me the next day. But I was able to laugh at myself instead of
being embarrassed, you know? I was able to go good, good for you for trying something new. You want
to be free. I don't want to be the person who's at a party that doesn't dance and is, you know,
kind of like just embarrassed to show people that I don't really know what I'm doing or that I'm a
little tone deaf. Who gives a shit? And I know that's probably surprising to hear from me, but it's
true. Like that was the one thing that I'm very self-conscious about. So I'm trying to dismantle
that and making myself go to places and dance. That's so interesting. So what is it that you think,
like what are you thinking about why you can't do it because you just don't have the moves? Like
what? I just am in, I'm in my head. I've got this thing like you can't catch the beat. You don't know
how to dance. And I'm like, yeah, you do. You can find, there's a bunch of more on dancing out there.
Like why don't you just become one of them? Like everyone, and it's obviously very freeing to do it,
but there was a very specific chapter in this book about a person who was scared to do it.
And I was like resonated. It was like speaking directly to me, I felt. Hi. Hi, Kenya.
Hi. Jen, do you have some thoughts for Kenya? Well, yeah. I mean, every, it's all perception,
right? So it sounds like your husband's cool with it. You've got all the support around it. And this
is just something you're doing to yourself because it's so fun. Yes. Yeah. So, you know, we were talking
early about how money is currency and currency is energy. And the energy that you put around this,
you're just, it's like any other nasty belief you've got about yourself, it's all in your head. And
you get to choose whether you focus on your lack of money or you get to choose to focus on the
fact that you have so much support and so much love from your husband. And this is one of the most
exciting things that's ever going to happen to you. And that money is fluid and it comes and it goes.
And of course, you can get out of this debt. And it really is just a mindset and getting that
excitement in yourself. Because do you believe deep down that you can make money like somewhere
down in the gut of you? Yes. Like I've always been a triple job kind of person, double job. But
once I met my fiance, I kind of, I realized I had to dog back on the work because I wasn't focusing
as much in our relationship. Because I was working so much. I had a full-time job and a part-time job.
So literally the hours that I had free, I was working. So because I had that in the back of my
head and I knew he was the one I was going to marry. So I was just trying to work so hard to kind of
make it less of this big debt by the time we were ready to get married.
Yeah. I think a shift for you might be around not having to break your back over working so
many jobs. I don't think that's what it's going to be about for you moving forward. Maybe there's a
different shift for you that's about finding a job that's better paying in your same field or
a totally different job altogether. Because you may have skills that you can put to use in another
line of work that pays a lot better. But the other thing too is your fiance is going into this
with full knowledge. You're not hiding anything from him. I'm sure he had debts that whether student
or otherwise that he had to pay off, whether it's car payment or whatever else. These are things
that come up in life. We have things that we have to pay for. And I don't think that that is
something that means you need to cut things from your wedding. Give yourself your budget and
do your best to stick to it. But conflating those two things I think is not something that you need
to be doing. Because I think you deserve to have a beautiful wedding that feels like you. And you
guys have the rest of your lives to deal with this payment and get it out of the way and be able
to live your lives. Yeah, I guess where it comes to, I find that I always have a hard time
being that, okay, I need help kind of thing. And not even asking for it because I know I don't need
to ask for it. But just knowing that he will take on this set for us to be able to like
afford a house or anything. So it's almost like you guys said, I have to mentally prepare
and mentally be okay with that. This is what I have to deal with. I mean, my student loan is what
I bought me through school. And I'm able to get a job and pay for it, which I'm grateful for. But I
guess, yes, mentally, I just have to. Does your fiancee know about your debt yet? Or no? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we had talked about it at the beginning of our relationship before he even proposed.
So we knew and he was just like, okay, we got to get a paid so we can get a bigger house because
he owns his house too. So it just, I don't know, I feel like we're both equally.
Yeah, but listen, you're in a great situation that you're not even seeing. Like you told him,
he's fine with it and he wants to help you. That's incredible. That's an incredible support system.
This is a great development. You got an education that unfortunately you have to pay all this money
for. But you have your education and now you have your husband and he's supportive of it.
Like there isn't a bad side to this. You just have to move forward and continue paying down your
debt so that it isn't on us off your back. But it's nothing to be ashamed of. Do you know how
many hundreds of millions of people have college debt? I mean, come on. You're not the only one
that's ever been. Nothing to be ashamed of. It's not like you got in debt on your own because you
shop too much and now you have like $60,000 and you have nothing to show for it. You have an education.
So like all of this is just, these are all good things. You're moving towards your goals. And so
instead of looking at it like you're some burden, look at it as now you have a new sense of freedom.
Now you have help to pay down your student loans. And then one day you're going to be able to help
him with something. And I would recommend Jen's book, You Are A Badass at Making Money. Two of the
biggest lessons I think for me from that book were money is a thing that like we have all of these
really emotional associations with and it can fill our heads with a whole lot of trash just like,
you know, in your situation. Like it's not as much about the money as it is about how you're
thinking about it. And the other thing is that money is a renewable resource. You know, we think
like I spent all this money and we have these like bills weighing over us. But like we talked
about maybe it's not about working two, three jobs, maybe it's about finding the thing that will
actually pay you more or your future husband. But at the same time, like money is a renewable
resource and it's going to keep coming to you. You're hardworking. You're going to figure it out.
And it's not like you have this finite limited amount moving forward. Think of it that way.
That's been really helpful for me. I know. Yeah. No, that's really helpful.
And I also want to just chime in with this is such an opportunity also. He wants to help you. Like,
this is part of your relationship where it is about receiving and allowing him to help you. You
know, you're not dumping a big burden on him. Like he he wants to provide for you. He loves you. So
I think it also is really going to help crack you open and have an even more intimate relationship
with him. It's not to say you're not going to do everything you can to pay down the debt and just,
you know, put your feet up and eat bonbons for the rest of your marriage. But yeah,
let him help you and let him feel like a man and take care of it. You know,
and guilt is just a wasted wasted wasted emotion. Stop feeling guilty. You know what I mean?
Move into action. Move into action and you have something beautiful to look forward to.
A beautiful wedding. You're going to have one hopefully. So make it count and stop beating
yourself up about all of the other stuff. Enjoy the moment that you're in instead of worrying
about past decisions. It's like your decisions were right. You had no choice. What were we going
to do? Not get an education? No, you wanted an education. So you did what was necessary.
These are all good things. Yeah. Yeah. And I also recommend kind of a fun exercise you can do where
you write a letter to money as if it's a person so that you can unearth all of your weirdness around.
I mean, money is the most loaded topic like more than religion, more than sex, like money is just
got so much going on. So write it stream of consciousness, push yourself and just like,
dear money, I love you, but I feel like a dirty whore admitting I want you around. Like,
now get into your stuff around it and see the push pull that you've gotten. Then once you pick
like the three hottest things that are the most icky to you, that's when you flip those ones on
their heads and really work on shifting your mindset. This can be such a gift for you. This
can be way more about getting over this debt. This can be about you becoming rich and really
facing your money issues. So it can be a really good thing. Yeah, no, definitely sounds. When you
guys talk about it, I can see that my issue has always been asking for help as something to help
and that we are way like we're always so we are about talking about money. So yes, that's really
helpful, guys. Yeah, we are going into a partnership so you don't have to do it all yourself anymore.
Yes, for sure. Well, Kenya, send us a wedding photo and we wish you the best of luck. Let
us know how it goes. Okay. I will. Thank you so much for all your help. It was lovely talking to you.
Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye. Oh, what a sweetie.
Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm a neuroscientist
and an author at Stanford University and I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe
in our heads. On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains
and our experiences by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our
realities. Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident? Or can we
create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the planet?
So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception, and your
reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts. This case has all the markings of a ritualistic, a cult murder.
The Man of War caves. I say the Lord works in mysterious ways. A brand new immersive fiction
podcast. Well, he ain't got nothing on the devil. Part psychological thriller, part supernatural
horror. The truth? Sometimes it revealed in the intersection of facts. Sometimes it's hidden in
lore. Starring Westworld's Jonathan Tucker and Eddie Kithagi from Twilight. I wouldn't go digging
around stirring up trouble if I was she. Tune in to uncover what happened when three boys entered
a Tennessee cave, but only one returned. This is the exact spot where we found the body's jewelry.
The Man to War caves. M-A-N-T-A-W-A-U-K. A production of iHeartRadio,
Womhouse Television, and Psychopia Pictures. Every minute I remain in Man to War County,
the thick of the fall gets. Listen to the Man to War caves now on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to podcasts. I am Rosie O'Donnell and I've got a new podcast called Onward
with me, Rosie O'Donnell, on iHeart. I'm 60 years old now. Believe that? Yes, it's the truth.
So I figure two thirds of my life are done. Zero to 30, 30 to 60, and now I'm in the 60 to 90 if I'm
lucky. Mostly this part of my life is just about moving forward. And I thought, what a wonderful
way to do it. With the podcast that I can sit down here in my home with people I love and admire,
people I've worked with, people I've gotten to be friends with, and some family friends that feel
like the real deal. Like who, you might ask? Natasha Leon, Jennifer Lewis, Ricky Lake, Fran Drescher,
Sharon Gless, Kathy Griffin, Cameron Mannheim. The list goes on and on. Listen to Onward with
Rosie O'Donnell, a proud part of the outspoken podcast network on the iHeart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
This question is from Hayley. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 34 year old married mother of two,
working in the fast fashion industry in New York City. On paper, I think my life looks pretty put
together. I've been with my husband since we were 18, though he would tell you we've been together
since kindergarten, which is only partly a lie. My kids are healthy and happy and smart and wonderful.
We love having help from both sides of our family, taking care of our kids, so my husband and I can
both work and provide for our family. I've spent the last 12 years establishing myself at a company
where I started as an unpaid intern and worked my way up to an established integral part of our
organization. Like I said, on paper, my life seems pretty great. However, I find myself struggling
to find purpose and meaning in my day to day life. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but I do wake up
with this lackluster feeling more and more. I no longer feel challenged at work, and while I love
my kids and husband, I don't want my legacy to be just a mom or a wife as awful as that sounds
to say aloud or even write in an email. It sounds silly, but as long as I can remember, I feel as
though I'm meant to do more in life. I just can't figure out what that more is. I thought fashion
was my passion, and while I do enjoy being successful at my job, I just don't know that this is where
I'm supposed to be. I have so many ideas of what I could possibly do. I've always wanted to write
a novel or flip houses or start my own event planning business or become an interior designer.
I find myself doom-scrolling my social media accounts at night of all these creatives with
this feeling like I can do this too, followed immediately by, but can I? And so I end up doing
nothing. All my ideas seem like pipe dreams or things that will take time away from what's
supposed to be my priority, my family, and providing for them. I want to be great, but maybe I should
be happy with success, the success, and perfect life on paper I already have. Help me to feel
less guilty about wanting more. Haley, see. Jen, do you want to take this one from the top?
Sure, thanks. Haley, listen, well, first of all, you totally do know what you want to do,
so I think we can get caught and that's sort of like I'm not sure. I'm confused, but the reality is
you know and you're scared, but the great news is like all those things that you said are amazing.
And so I think that you should just go for it and start to plot out how you could do it and start
looking more deeply into it and following people who are doing it and maybe talk to some of them,
take them out for coffee and think of it as a real thing. You know, you got one go as the you that
is you on planet Earth and we, it's in our nature to keep growing. You know, plants and trees,
they just keep growing until they die and that's us. We're not meant to hit a certain level and
then just coast along. We're supposed to keep blossoming and expanding and it's your birthright.
That's your nature as a living creature on Earth. So, you know, that guilt is really, I understand
that you feel it, but it doesn't honestly make sense for your nature. And also, I want to say like your
kids, what a great role model you're going to be when you allow yourself to just keep blossoming and
keep changing into who you're becoming. I mean, that's a really, really great role model for your
kids. Yeah, I mean, my sister started her own ear piercing company and she was working for another
company at one point. And then I guess something happened where they weren't going to be because
she's a registered nurse. So, they were only using real nurses and then they kind of started hiring
other people and my sister was like, I don't know about this. I wanted it to be like a special,
you know, nurses are coming and doing your piercings. And I was like, well, start your own company.
And she's like, it's just such a headache. What am I going to do? Cut to she started her own company.
She is the happiest, most productive she's ever been. She has piercings every day. She's like eight
to 10. She goes to parties and pierces like 10 girls at a time. She's so fulfilled. She finally
got she got a business license. She did all the shit that she thought she didn't want to have to
deal with and she is empowered. She is living her like best life because she has created her own
source of income. It's meaningful. It's purposeful. And she loves it. She loves meeting new people.
She loves going to their houses. She loves getting their little certificate of bravery for the little
two year olds that get their ears pierced. Well, their mothers that get their ears pierced.
But whatever her whole vibe has changed. So like, you're only going to increase your magnetism by
following your dreams. Your family's going to appreciate you more. You're set up in a success
already. You've got a great husband. You've got great kids like there is no barrier for you. You
have all of this opportunity. And it's only this voice in your head that's telling you you can't do
it. So tell that voice that you're a fucking queen. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think too,
you know, I agree with John. I think like in your heart, you actually know what it is. But
throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks. Try a few different things. See what you actually like.
This makes me think of I just started following this woman on Instagram. She's like in her 70s.
She is basically just like an internet grandma who's adorable and says wonderful, positive,
beautiful things and you know calls her followers my darlings and just encourages you. And it is
the most lovely, wonderful thing to like wake up to in the morning. But she talks about like
for years, I thought I could do this social media thing. And so many people were like,
no, it's really tough. You can't really do it. It's tough. It's hard. You won't get any followers.
Did it. But so one day she just woke up and was like, I'm going to start doing this. And now she's
got this massive following and this beautiful cohort of people who are just like positive and
lovely and just waking up on morning and be like, what if I do? What if I do this? You know?
Yeah. And just take steps in the direction. If you choose interior design, there shouldn't be a
limit to what you want to do. Right. So if you pick one thing to start with so that it's not
overwhelming, like say you do go down the interior design route, you know, just start making steps
in that direction, start an Instagram page, start talking to people who you might help,
start taking pictures of things that you find to be beautiful and things that you would like to
replicate, you know, and design themes and homes. There are steps you can take in each direction
for all of the things that you mentioned, just pick one and start there. And if after a few
months you're like, wait, this doesn't feel right, then you know that it's not right and you move
on to the next thing. But I bet you it will be right. It's just a matter of taking that first step.
And then everything kind of comes together because you have to show the universe, the energy,
the world that you are motivated enough to make some differences. And then everything kind of
comes together knowing that your energy has shifted. Because right now you're in a state of,
uh, I don't know, it's a little ambivalent, it's a little just nonactive. And in order to create
that kind of surge and inspiration, you got to get moving. And then it will all come together in
that way, you know, like you got to say, okay, this is what I want, this is the direction I'm
moving in, and things will start to open for you and doors will start to open. You'll be like,
Oh, okay. All it takes is like a shift in intention. Agreed. Totally. Great. Well,
Lizzette says, Oh, I knew a Lizzette in high school. Yeah. That's the only isn't that a character in,
which McCall it? Yes. Les Mis isn't Lizzette. One of the characters. Cozette. That's Collette. Cozette.
Cozette. Cozette. Oh shit. I knew it was an et such a let something in between those those two.
But Lizzette says, and I think it was cute. She was going by Lizz and she's like, no,
Lizzette is my real name. That's what I that's what I want to go by. I was like, great. Yes.
She says, dear Chelsea, my name is Lizzette and I have a problem that may seem simple, but is
honestly complex. One of my deep core beliefs is that I am unlovable. Because of this, I struggle
so much with being able to accept love from others. My brain is also constantly looking for
evidence to prove this belief right. I've found more evidence to prove me right than wrong. Therefore,
I stay in this mindset. I'm 26 and I have struggled with mental health issues for over a decade now.
I go to therapy. I have a good support system. I take my medication and I have a wonderful boyfriend.
Despite all this, I still hate myself and I feel as though everyone is all in on the fact that I'm
unlovable, worthless and very ugly. I tell my therapist about this and all she says is,
that's not true. You're lovable. Like, okay, that doesn't really help in dismantling my core
beliefs. I want to be happy with myself and be a light for others. I don't know what to do to
achieve this because I believe this about myself. I reject the love and affection my boyfriend gives
me, which isn't fair to him. I want to be loved so badly, but I believe I'm unworthy of it.
I feel as though I have to keep this mindset because I want people to know I'm also in on the
joke. You think I'm ugly? That's fine because I already know I am. So nice try. I would appreciate
any advice I can use to not only accept love from others, but also start to find the love within
and feel that I'm worthy of it. Lizette. Aww. Hi, Lizette.
Hi. First of all, please, we need to talk to you. This is an emergency situation.
Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. You're never allowed to talk about yourself being ugly again.
First of all, you're adorable, but that's not even the point. No one is ugly. You have such a
negative conversation going on with yourself and when you're looking for negative stuff,
you're going to find it. When you're looking for positive stuff, you're also going to find it.
So it's a choice between looking for the negative or looking for all the things that make you lovable.
Instead of saying you're not lovable, what are the things that make you lovable? You tell me right now.
I think I'm like good at my job. Yeah. I think I am very personable. I'm very talkative. I think
it thinks I invite people in. So yeah, great. Yeah. Those are great things. Those are great qualities.
You're adorable. Look at you. You're laughing. You're giggly. You have a nice disposition.
You're you're letting your thoughts take you to a place that you don't even need to visit.
You could be living your best life on this planet right now, but you're choosing to hear a different
story. You have a boyfriend that loves you and you need to accept that love. You have to doubly
accept it now because you have an assignment from us. Okay. You have to overcorrect what you are
doing. So every morning you have to get up and list 10 things about yourself that make you lovable,
that you know to be true about yourself and why you are lovable every single morning,
you're going to start doing that. And it can be the same things. It can be different things,
whatever, just get in the habit of that. And every time you're thinking about a negative thought,
I want you to get in the habit of flipping that thought because whatever your negative thought
is, there's an opposite thought, right? If you're fearful, there's love. If you're scared,
there's confidence. You know what I mean? You choose. Think about whatever the opposite feeling
of the word that you're feeling about yourself is. Choose that word and think about all of the
things that are that relate to you with that word. Love, courage, strength, confidence. Those
are the things that you need to instill in yourself moving forward. You're a fucking badass. Who
nobody ever told you you were unlovable? You told yourself that and you can't be trusted at this
point because you told yourself a lot of negative things. So we have to completely reverse engineer
you. Well, and I think that's a really good point, Chelsea. We think that every thought that
pops into our brains is the truth. But the truth is, it's not. Or is someone else's about us? It's
not their thoughts. We all have this little voice in our head. You're choosing to let that run you
instead of choosing you running you. We all have that little devil's whatever it is, like a little
devil on our shoulders saying you're not good enough. You're not good enough. You're not smart
enough. You're not pretty enough. You're not this enough. Yes, you are. That is not the voice that
we are listening to. And in order to make your life the fullest and reach your potential and your
purpose, your teacher, that already says something great about you. You know what I mean? You're
devoting your life to helping little people in the world or younger people in the world. I don't
know what age you teach, but you're already doing so many things like these are a value. That's
valuable. You are a value and you have a purpose and the sooner you lean into it, the sooner your
whole world is going to open up. And these thoughts are going to start to diminish.
And the good news is too, our brains are plastic. They are extensively changeable. When you hear
that voice, if it's like, Oh my God, I'm so ugly. Look at yourself in the mirror. And even if it
sounds fake as hell, just be like, Oh my God, it looked beautiful today. Oh my God, I look incredible.
So I read Jen as our guest who's with us today. And I had read her book, You're a badass around
the same time that I started watching a lot of YouTube videos. Yes, this is who this is who we have.
Okay, I was like her name sounds familiar. Okay, not a lot. Okay. And Trixie Mattel, who's a drag queen,
also was like somebody I was watching a lot of her. And Trixie is always like, I'm an icon. I'm a
legend. I look gorgeous. And so much at this way. That's like funny and cute. It's like,
it's so much more fun than the self deprecating like, well, no, you know, I'm already a failure.
I'm a, you know, I already know I'm ugly. No, no more of that. No more of that.
Jen, what do you think about? What do you think about this? I mean, awesome, you guys. And and
and also see what you can get away with. Like, I love taking this level of levity and just like
getting out of your drama and be like, I'm so blame such a ladies and then and just I just want to see
if I can get two guys to look at me on the street. I just want to see if I can do these
fan decks, silver pants and rock. Make it more fun, bring some more fun back into it. And also,
remember, nobody knows what the fuck they're doing. We're all, I mean, we all have doubts and
fears and insecurities and everybody. Nobody has it all going on anyway. So don't expect yourself
to be at the top of your game all the time. And when you're not feeling the top of your game,
it's a moment in time. It's not your identity. It's just you're just having a little hiccup. And
there are lessons to be learned in that hiccup. So look for the lessons when you're when you're
feeling that way. Don't buy into them so much. And also, look at yourself through the eyes of
your little students. How much do they love you and who you really are? Come on now. Like,
what is your fan club? Right? Right? So seriously, next time you go down that rabbit hole of thinking
you suck, look at it through your most adoring students eyes and think about what that person
would say about what you're thinking. And I like what Catherine said too about like,
just start saying it out loud and be like, look at me. I'm beautiful. Look at me. I'm beautiful.
Look at me. I'm beautiful. Even if it's a joke to yourself, like, it's good to start saying these
things to yourself, you know, and not taking it so seriously, because you first of all, you are
beautiful inside and out. So like, where are you getting this from? It's just so silly. So, yeah,
you just have to really focus on be really paying attention to your thoughts and be really paying
attention and go, Nope, that's not what I'm going to think today. What's the opposite of that emotion?
You know, I'm going to be confident about this. I'm not going to be insecure. I'm going to act
confidently right here. And before you know it, acting confidently will make you confident.
Yeah, it will become automatic. There's a kind of outdated thing that we women do too, which is like,
if I talk that way about myself, I'm conceited or what get rid of that. Like that is old-fashioned
that never matters. We are allowed to talk about ourselves as if we are valuable and beautiful
and lovable. And that's not going to come across in a way that makes you seem that way. So,
start telling yourself that because it will, like Chelsea said, become automatic.
And now say I'm a queen three times in a row.
Okay, I'm a queen. I'm a queen. I'm a queen.
There you go. Yes, there we go.
You haven't got the mannerisms down. Go girl.
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you so much for calling in Lizette. And now you have something to listen back to
next time you need to remind her.
Yes, thank you. I appreciate all three of you so much.
Especially you Chelsea. I literally haven't found you since I was 11. So thank you.
You're welcome, honey. You're so welcome.
Thank you. Bye. Okay. Bye.
What a total cutie. She's adorable. I know. My first conversation, she was like sweating at the
gym and she still looked cute. I was like, come on now. Come on. We got to fix this. Look out.
She's got to go on. I know.
Well, let's take a quick break and we will be back to wrap up with Jen and Chelsea.
Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart.
I'm a neuroscientist and an author at Stanford University.
And I've spent my career exploring the three pound universe in our heads.
On my new podcast, I'm going to explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences
by tackling unusual questions so we can better understand our lives and our realities.
Like, does time really run in slow motion when you're in a car accident?
Or can we create new senses for humans? Or what does dreaming have to do with the rotation of the
planet? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain steers your behavior, your perception,
and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This case has all the markings of a ritualistic,
a cult murder. The Man of Art Caves. I say the Lord works in mysterious ways. A brand new immersive
fiction podcast. Now, he ain't got nothing on the devil. Part psychological thriller,
part supernatural horror. The truth? Sometimes it's revealed in the intersection of facts.
Sometimes it's hidden in the door. Starring Westworld's Jonathan Tucker and Eddie
Kethke from Twilight. I wouldn't go digging around stirring up trouble if I was you. Tune it to uncover
what happened when three boys entered a Tennessee cave. But only one returned. This is the exact
spot where we found the body's jewelry. The Man to Walk Caves. M-A-N-T-A-W-A-U-K. A production of
iHeartRadio, Blumhouse Television, and Psychopia Pictures. Every minute I remain in Man of
Walt County to think of the fall gets. Listen to the mental walk caves now on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Hi, I'm Rosie O'Donnell and I've got a new podcast called Onward with me, Rosie O'Donnell,
on iHeart. I'm 60 years old now. Believe that? Yes, it's the truth. So I figure two-thirds
of my life are done. Zero to 30, 30 to 60, and now I'm in the 60 to 90 if I'm lucky.
Mostly, this part of my life is just about moving forward. And I thought, what a wonderful way to do
it. With the podcast that I can sit down here in my home with people I love and admire,
people I've worked with, people I've gotten to be friends with, and some family friends
that feel like the real deal. Like who you might ask? Natasha Leon, Jennifer Lewis,
Ricky Lake, Fran Drescher, Sharon Bless, Kathy Griffin, Cameron Mannheim, the list goes on and on.
Listen to Onward with Rosie O'Donnell, a proud part of the outspoken podcast network on the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
And we're back. All right, well Jen, this is the point in the show where I ask,
do you have any advice you'd like from Chelsea? So much. God, but I whittled it down. I would love
some tips on writing stand up and writing good talks. Because writing books is one thing,
but speaking is different. I have a whole bunch of speaking engagements coming up. And like,
how do you do it? Do you eat an edible and have all your friends over? Or do you have a team to do
it yourself and then put on a talent show? What's your methodology?
I usually write for stand up and sometimes I have writers help me if I'm doing an event,
but for stand up, it's pretty much me. I'm not really, every once in a while,
I'll have someone come out and see if they have any punch lines for me. But I think when you infuse
humor into real, educative topics, you're doing, there's just good, fun, personal stories to choose
from that are relatable. Even if you don't think they're relatable, sharing of yourself, I think,
is always relatable. When you're telling a story about anything, when it's personal,
people feel like they're being invited into your life and you're sharing that with them.
And then there's a level of comfort that I noticed by even I'm very self-deprecating and not in a
hate self-hating way or self-immelating way. I'm always talking about all the things that I
can't get right or mess up, but that I keep trying. And I find that I think when you infuse any sort
of things with just personal stories, the humor kind of comes. You're going to know what's
the funny punch line to that story or if you have to exaggerate a story to make it even funnier.
It's citing examples of things to help people as teaching moments. I think anything you can draw
from your personal life, there's always a way to make everything as funny after two weeks.
Everything except the death of someone. That's not funny after two weeks. But everything else is
funny. No matter what, you can always just pull from your personal arsenal and you'll be surprised
to have many people have the same feelings or have the same experiences. I always find,
I'm always amazed when people come up and be like, oh my god, I'm just like you. I'm like,
really? I thought I was one in a million. But the reason why people do relate to me is because
I am like so many other people, not that I'm one in a million. I'm one of millions of us who feel
this way. So yeah, relatability, I think, is the key ingredient to really connecting with anybody.
Cool. That's great. Thank you, Jen. Oh, thank you, Jen. Yeah, that was awesome. So nice to meet with
you and speak with you. Thanks for contributing today and helping these people. Oh, thank you
so much. I just want to say I am also child-free and the stuff you are doing is just killing me.
I love it. Oh, good. You speak for the wombs everywhere. I love it. Such an honor. You guys.
Okay, take care. Bye-bye. And don't forget everybody, my new special revolution is now streaming on
Netflix and it's badass. And then I'm doing a tour, a little big bitch tour. Go to ChelseaHmlard.com
for tickets. I've added some new dates. I added a date in Monticello, New York. I'm coming to
Colorado to Red Rocks, Tampa Theater. I'm coming to Kalam, Missouri. And then I'm coming to a bunch
of places in Tennessee, Memphis, Knoxville, and Chattanooga. That's May 19th, 20th, and 21st.
And then I'll be in Atlantic City, June 10th, which is almost filled out. So get your tickets.
If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email at deerchelsypodcast at gmail.com.
And be sure to include your phone number. Deer Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad
Dickert, executive producer, Catherine Law. And be sure to check out our merch at ChelseaHmlard.com.
Hi, I'm David Eagleman. I have a new podcast called Inner Cosmos on iHeart. I'm going to
explore the relationship between our brains and our experiences by tackling unusual questions.
Like, can we create new senses for humans? So join me weekly to uncover how your brain
steers your behavior, your perception, and your reality. Listen to Inner Cosmos with David Eagleman.
On the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Are you ready for a new season of Life in Spanglish? Hi, I'm Honey German.
And I'm Carolina Bermudez. And your favorite podcast is back for season four with topics and
discussions you won't want to miss. Get ready to immerse yourself in the vibrant and dynamic world
of Life in Spanglish, where cultures collide and language becomes a bridge, not a barrier.
From the city to the suburbs, Life in Spanglish explores the joys and challenges of navigating
life in two languages. Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Looking for a show where you don't have to look far to see yourself? Welcome to the
Professional Hunger Podcast. I'm your host, Ebeneh. And every Tuesday, I interview women of color
from all walks of life. And all of my guests are anonymous. So you're here stories from survivors
to spirituality and family secrets. And let's not forget about the professionals out there, okay?
Listen to the Professional Hunger Podcast with Ebeneh, presented to you by the Black Effect
Podcast Network on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.