Hello, elegant listeners and welcome to GO, my favorite sports team.
The ultimate podcast where you discovered new sports, find out information about current sports that are happening in all of the world and learn things from me, your master of sport, while also enjoying the humerus and I don't even know how to describe you at this point Mark.
Wow, way to go that way to say that I'm not going to be learning anybody any but anything because today dolphins Tyreek Hill under investigation for allegedly hitting man during argument in Miami.
Who's that? All right. Tyreek Hill. He's a receiver for the Miami dolphins, formerly the Kansas City Chiefs. Oh, wow.
He's one of the fastest receivers in the NFL and one of the most successful ones in this past season, but apparently he hit a guy.
I that's all I see. I haven't clicked on the article. That's all I know. Just hitting someone during an argument. It's unknown whether he will face criminal charges.
Gotcha. Did you know the Cincinnati Reds are doing really well. They're actually in first place in the division at this current moment.
I didn't know that at all. Why are they doing so good?
They called up a bunch of young players and they are playing more small ball. They're not home runner bust like most teams used to be.
They're actually playing baseball. How it's meant to be played. They're actually really fun to watch. I've been trying to catch a few games and stuff, but the youth there with steals and just effort plays where you hit the ball and just basically beat out the throw to first base.
That's what you were saying is that there's some lacking of small ball and a lot of ways the international baseball players are a bit more prevalent in terms of playing in the way that you like to play because it's more strategic. Yeah. Yeah.
And so it's really cool to watch. Obviously they still have the DH and everything because that's MLB rules, but they're playing with an energy to them that I haven't seen in a long, long time.
And it's fun to watch. It's making baseball fun to watch. In other news, Olivia Dunn draws crowd while watching LSU at College World Series.
I don't know if this is social media star gymnast extraordinaire for LSU.
So she apparently went to the College World Series that I think is in Omaha, Nebraska, to watch LSU play and people drew a crowd and wanted autographs and stuff.
Yeah. In other news, LeBron James waved the flag at the Le Mans circuit, the race, what's the Le Mans circuit?
Le Mans, we talked about what is Samantha Tan. It's the 24 hour race that is like famously known for the Ford for V for the one where they stuff everyone in the trunk and they got a walk out, yeah, that one.
But he waved the starting flag. He was so ginger. It was a really weird watching him like at a racing event as a basketball player and a star just being involved in that seems so obscured to me.
But it's pretty cool. Yeah, that sounds cool. Unfortunately, we have to make a correction on a previous statement that we made apparently the sweetest sex championship was a hoax. Yeah, it was all a ruse. It was a lie. You were taken in by sensationalist media, really a disgrace.
You know, people are blaming us for not vetting it, but I didn't have time to vet it, first of all, and second of all, we trusted you, the audience who sent it to the reddit.
This was reported on our Reddit by our loyal audience. We didn't think they wouldn't do the due diligence. In fact, I'm going to find out who was the person that put that originally up.
And we're going to call them out publicly and we're going to shame them into oblivion.
Yeah, I think they deleted the post out of shame because obviously,
I think they deleted the post out of shame because obviously they should because how dare
they misinform our audience, how long has my camera been at half frame rate?
Is your camera?
Oh God, no.
It's doing the thing again.
Yeah, it's fine.
It doesn't matter.
The video is important to this.
It's about the audio.
It's about reporting the news.
So anyway, there is not a Swedish sex championship.
It was very realistic.
There was a website.
What else are we supposed to know?
I mean, in all fairness, like major media outlets were covering it like it was a real
thing.
So they got hoax too.
So the whole thing was blown out of proportions.
People got excited about it.
And now they're all just disappointed.
Like a lot of people in bed.
Well, this is saying that, oh my God, I got to individually disagree to all these, whoa,
man, there's like 20 different things to, all right, save.
Okay.
This says European sex championship was suspended.
Oh, Spanish representative talks of organizational failure, quote, it was chaos.
Oh, so they failed proper planning, you know, like some other things that I've paid attention
to recently that failed to properly figure out how to operate certain things and
run properly.
So before you do them, you know, people that dive into things before they do the research
and understanding on how to, how to run an event.
Yeah.
Are you trying to like circle this back and you putting them no blame on me or something
like anyway, only fans actress and model saw the from the moment she landed in Sweden
that there were doubts and uncertainties among her colleagues about the competition.
And in the end, it was canceled.
That's what we're seeing here.
And this is definitely probably true, probably maybe it might have all been a hoax.
Probably.
It might have absolutely been a hoax.
I feel like it probably was.
But anyway, let's get into the topic of today.
And it has to do with wood, but not in the way of the sex championships, has to do with
lumberjacks.
Oh, wait a minute.
No, there's got to be this to queues.
What is even this?
Are you really busy, Mark, or are you too lazy to do it?
I'm pretty sure movie editors are or should be more than one person.
I so I tried to read that and my brain just shut down because I couldn't understand
what they were trying to say.
Are you saying that I can't edit a movie by myself?
You are exactly the same as the people.
There's a story about this because when I was on set, we were negotiating with the unions
and the unions were like, okay, who's going to be editing this?
And it's like, ah, the director is going to be editing.
And they're like, okay, yeah, but who's going to be helping them?
And it's like, no, the director is going to be editing it.
And it's like, ah, yeah, okay, yeah, I highly doubt the director and the writer and the
person acting it is going to be editing.
And it's like, yes, because I love editing and I'm very good at it.
So of course I'm editing it.
And I know what I want, exactly.
And of course, like Lixie and Mark and Rachel can help assemble and organize by the end
of the day when it comes to creative decisions, there's no one more equipped to do it than
me because I've been editing for over 10 years straight.
I'm a better editor than you and almost everybody listening to this.
In fact, I'm pretty sure that everyone except the editors that I personally know, I'm
better at editing than you.
Period.
I'm willing to say that because I'm fucking amazing at it.
Good.
Good.
I am.
Good.
Have that pride in your work.
Look, when you guys have edited over like probably got tens of thousands of hours of
footage like I have, you then you can come crawling to me and say that you're good.
But I know what I'm doing.
I know I'm doing that.
I agree with you.
So yeah.
Cool.
Take that.
Queues.
Get out of here.
Get out of here with your.
Get push of the face.
If editing was a sport, I'd win gold medal.
I wonder if we could make it a sport speedrun edits.
Oh, no.
I could be.
There's one here called Tyler, you horny quagmire.
Oh, it's just a sweetest sex championship again.
Yeah.
I don't know.
They're accusing me of not vetting something you brought up that I saw briefly before
we started recording.
That's fine.
Oh, that is your fault.
Anyway, lumberjacks.
Look what about lumberjacks?
Mark, what do you know about lumberjacks?
You wear flannels.
You're used to.
You don't really anymore.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You had characters of yours, B lumberjacks kind of in a way, Damien in that animated short.
He chopped wood.
I don't have the wood.
He chopped the wood.
I think I don't think that makes.
Oh, yeah.
He lived in a log cabin.
All right.
I assume that he built it.
So it was a figment in his mind.
Yeah.
Well, he built it in his mind.
It was allegory to a perpetual task.
It was a...
It was like a Cisophysian task.
Did people think that he was really in a cabin?
Did people think the cabin was real and the forest was real and it wasn't metaphor?
Did people...
Probably.
Did people...
All right.
Okay.
Listen.
I loved what Damien cut wood alive.
Damien would cut wood.
He cut wood real good.
Yeah.
Big car of his sister in cabin would cut schools.
Yeah.
Not boiling down the most basic level of survival in terms of gathering a heat source and
possibly hunting.
But no one ever questioned that there wasn't any food.
Ah, whatever.
Done there.
Listen.
Do you have dreams of whacking big old hunks of wood, Mark?
I don't like the way you do that.
Just giant trees.
Have you ever...
Do you think about the sex championship?
No.
No.
Do you secretly crave being a lumberjack?
I think that the idea of cutting down a tree for firewood is a very appealing thing or
building materials, you know?
I think it's a good source of exercise studies have shown that it increases your testosterone
levels as you're doing it by up to 30%.
It's incredible exercise because it's purpose driven.
It can take a long time.
It gives a great full body workout and it's good to hit some real nice to hit some.
What's really interesting is the lumberjack is clearly a career, right?
Yes.
And in today's day and world, wood is used for all kinds of things from paper, building
materials, yada yada yada.
But the most interesting thing that I've noticed in like relatively recent years and the
last 20 years is the amount of career driven sports that have come about, where they compare
skills of their careers against each other, like the firefighter Olympics is the thing,
where they have teams of firefighters doing different skills challenges with regard
to hoses and ladders and stuff like that.
Well, the lumberjack games is also along those lines, although there are some funny aspects
to it that seem not to be true, but I've lately found out that walking on a floating
log is a part of being a lumberjack, which is really interesting.
I think I've seen that.
There's like dueling versions of that where it's two people on a log and they try to like
make one with the other fall off.
Yeah.
It's like a mixture of attack and defense.
It's actually a very interesting thing.
So what events do you think are in the lumberjack games other than obviously that one that
we discussed?
Uh, speed to cut a tree down, speed to saw log in half, speed to cut wood, speed, uh,
how much wood can a wood chuck chuck?
Yep.
Evert damn destruction, uh, eco terrorism.
That's definitely a category, uh, flannel, flannel's requirement, absolutely, flannel, uh,
probably sex.
If we're going to be honest, probably, that's probably a category, maybe, maybe a tiny
bit, maybe burning stuff, uh, burning, okay, that would be destructive.
You know, like a lumberjack's really constructive, they're constructive.
They're not destructive when they chop down trees.
Yep.
Definitely.
Anyway, act one.
Hmm.
What are the lumberjack games?
Well, to tell you, there's a surprising number of competitions, festivals, events, and
today, um, we're going to focus more on the lumberjack world championships in Harvard
with, uh, Hayward, Wisconsin.
Sorry.
I can mistake the why for a V for a second.
So when it comes to competitive lumberjacking, Wisconsin is the place to be.
There's a lot of trees.
It's the Midwest.
There's a lot of trees and yeah, yeah, there's cheese.
There you go.
I don't know why Wisconsin is the place to be.
It just says Wisconsin.
I mean, it's kind of close to Canada.
I know there's a lot of lumberjacks in Canada.
I know that foresting is a big thing up there.
Uh, I guess it's just a good place to go for it forever in the kind of meat middle of
the country.
You know, makes sense.
Good place to distribute wood all over the place.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, the world lumberjack championships or the lumberjack world championships take place
in mid July with over 100 contestants from several countries competing in over 20 different
events, which take place only over three days, 20 different events, three days, food,
entertainment, about 10,000 people come to spectate, which is surprisingly a good amount.
Yeah.
Basically, it's a competition where the lumberjacks put their lumberjacking skills to the test,
which includes axe throwing, uh, sawing, climbing, yeah, okay, I can see it.
And chopping events to become a champion, you need to be incredibly, this is worded
weird.
You need to have incredible agility, stamina, strength, and clearly a love for wood and
carving wood and shaping wood and doing all kinds of things with wood.
Oh, but anyway, the events are a reflection of skills that professional lumberjacks actually
use and develop when they're actually filling trees on the job.
And it's just a way for them to compare those skills and spruce them up and give them
a little more pizzazz and turn them into a competition.
Well, cool.
So the climbing part is have you ever fell a tree yourself like with your dad or anybody?
I've never had the opportunity to actually cut down a full tree.
Okay.
So majority of the time the trees that are cut down are pine trees, right?
And have you ever, they have a device that goes, um, that you put that braces around
your.
Yeah.
I call an axe.
Don't mean that.
That's all you need.
Axe and two big guns.
They're writing left here.
Well, that's all you need.
You only need special equipment for babies.
You strip the top of the tree and you actually chop it from the top down.
What?
Yeah.
For tall pine trees, so you put on, you put on lumberjack spurs which have a blade on
the inside towards where the arch of your foot is that dig into the wood and you climb
up the sides by jabbing that into the tree and chopping off the branches once you get
up high enough.
I can't.
I'm leaving.
The camera.
Why is my camera?
Oh, yeah, come back.
Come back.
Here.
What?
Where is it?
Now it's worse.
Why?
It doesn't make any sense.
Where are you?
Broken.
Anyway, what?
You fell the tree from the top down.
You chop off all the branches and then you're able to tie the rope and guide and chop logs
from the top to the bottom so that you're not knocking into the other trees and causing
damage to the wood or breaking the wood in a way that you don't want it to be broken.
Okay.
So it's about the integrity of the wood as you're cutting it down to be able to maintain
your blow, whatever.
So the wood's good.
Yeah.
Good quality wood.
Good quality wood.
That's where climbing comes in and I've actually climbed that way and it's hard, it's
hard to sell, dude.
I don't even know why you would need to climb really when you could just like bring
it down, but I guess it would like maintain the integrity of the tree on the way down.
Whatever.
And the other trees.
Is there any...
Is there tree catching?
You know...
You got a tree coming down.
You...
I've seen that.
There's a video of it.
It's not real.
It's very fake.
What is that?
There's a huge tree.
It's like in Japan and there's a guy like...
And he gets squashed like a bug.
But when I first watched it I thought it was real and I was like, I just saw someone
die.
And I was like...
I don't know.
It was like 11 or something.
And I was like, oh no!
What have I seen?
But then it was funny because there was like two lines of crowds on the side and they're
like, yeah, yeah.
And as soon as the guy gets squished they all go, oh, and they walk away.
Look, man.
I don't know.
I want to see this video now.
This is not a video that I've seen.
It was a strange one.
I don't know what it was all about.
What rap...
Hold did you go down?
I don't know.
Let me look up Japanese tree catching.
I don't think it's a real thing.
Oh no!
Who's China?
So it was Chinese tree catching.
Wait, wait.
So this was the video just to actually show it.
No, I wonder if it'll show this in a choppy motion.
By the way, it apparently does not record the audio when you screen share.
Ah, that's stupid.
How about this?
Oh my God.
Look at this quality.
It's high quality.
Oh, okay, yeah.
I've seen this video.
It's been a while.
I'm sorry.
Oh, the crowd.
And then they just wash and walk away.
And it says sports news or something.
Yeah, this is the old Go My Favorite Sports Team, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
See, what are they trying to say?
Sports news that we care about.
This is the kind of sports news that we care about.
Look at what happened to this.
He trained his whole life and then, oh, no.
Just a whole career ended in a moment.
And that can happen if you are a lumberjack.
Yeah, it'll happen to you too.
So now that we've seen that historical footage of the lumberjack games, it's time to get
into act two.
Act two.
The history of the lumberjack games.
What?
What?
I thought you were saying something.
I was saying something.
What are you saying?
All right.
So how do you think the lumberjack games began?
Well, there was one lumberjack who said to the other lumberjack, I bet I can jack
lumber way harder than you can.
And it was the other guy who was like, oh, no way.
Hey, I bet you.
I'm Canadian.
You can't jack lumber nearly as hard as I can.
And the other one was like, oh, yeah.
Well, I'm going to Chuck Maple Seer.
And we're going to lumber each other's jacks all day long.
And then they were just like, yeah, I'll show you.
And then they just start jacking each other's lumber really hard.
Maple Seer everywhere.
Now that you think about it, I'm wondering what the origin of the word lumberjack was.
Is it because they get jacked while they're working on lumber?
Absolutely not.
There is no way that's what it was.
What is it?
I don't know.
They jack lumber.
First coin in 1831 and a complaint letter to the Cabrug star in Northern Canada.
The term lumberjack was used to describe people in the 19th and early 20th century worked
in the lumber industry.
It doesn't tell me why they're called lumberjacks.
You find out that I'm going to fix my camera because this is going to bother me.
And I know it's going to bother everybody watching at home forever because it's like,
it's just bad enough that it's annoying.
What's that?
And I'm re-plugging in my different camera corner back.
I fixed it on the professional YouTuber, just like I'm a professional editor.
So.
All right.
I figured out the origin.
It's literally just because like the, you don't know what the male, somebody's name is.
They're just a common jack.
So that's why it's a lumberjack.
Because I, in the way I discovered this was in World War II, apparently they came up
with lumberjil for the female loggers because a logger is what they're called now.
Lumberjack is just historical.
But I found a really interesting quote from the origin of the lumberjack.
Okay.
My misfortunes have brought me upon chiefly by an incorrigible, though perhaps useful,
race of mortals called lumberjacks, whom, however, I would name the Cossacks of Upper Canada,
who, having been reared among the oaks and pines of the wild forest, have been subjected
to the salatory restraints of laws.
Why did I talk like that?
That's a weird way for them to talk in that era.
I'm assuming you're doing a perfectly faithful recreation of what they sound like, and I'm
blame.
I listened to this exact quote on repeat while you were fixing your camera.
I really appreciate your dedication to their native tongue.
Yes.
And how stupid it is.
But apparently there are other names for lumberjacks, woodcutters, shanty boy, shanty boy,
and woodhick.
Unless you got to have the shanty boy.
The shanty boy.
Oh, he's out while you're lumberjacking, he's singing you a sweet little shanty, living
you some sherbet, and some Chardonnay and some, Sherry.
Sherry, yeah, you got that.
Nice.
Nice.
And then if you're floating the logs down the river, which was the main way of transporting
logs in the Olden days, because trucks weren't around, you would be a person that would
be called either a river pig, a caddie man, a river hog, or a river rat.
A river hog?
God.
That's a…
That sounds like an insult.
I don't know if that was a good thing.
A river rat, I guess, is like straight up an insult, but I was like, you're the hog of the river.
I mean, river rat seems worse than hog and pig, to me.
I guess rats are cute.
They can be.
Anyway, continuing on after we figured out the origin of the name Lumberjack.
Okay.
The first competitions for Lumberjack games dated back to the late 1800s,
and the world Lumberjack championships started in 1960.
According to Tony Wise, the founder of the Lumberjack World Championships,
the Lumberjack World Championships were inaugurated in 1960 to perpetuate and glorify the working skills of the American Lumberjack.
Hayward Wisconsin came into existence because of the lumber industry.
Therefore, it was fitting that one of the largest logging competitions should be held here also.
I want to apologize to all of our Canadian listeners.
I don't know why we can't get a Canadian accent down, but we're trying our best.
So it was Canadian, right?
I don't know.
That was American, I think, because he's talking about Wisconsin.
Oh, okay.
Then just screw all over Wisconsin fans.
We don't care about you and we never have.
You go keep drinking and eating cheese.
That's all you're known for.
Wisconsinites are among the heaviest drinkers in all of the world.
Yeah, but the way it was phrased, I was figuring out if there was an actual way to drink cheese.
Yeah, liquid cheese, yeah, sure.
Look, where there's a will, there's a way.
Look, just because cheese ain't automatically in a liquid form,
ain't going to stop some people from drinking it.
You know, you're right.
You're right.
And when you're right, you're right.
I am right.
The first LWC, Lumberjack World Championships,
was held at History Land, which was a historical theme park,
which commemorated Native American culture,
the logging industry, and the region's fur trade.
That seems like a great place to hold it.
That does seem like a nice place to hold it.
But History Land no longer exists.
LWC still has taken over, taken root over the last 60 years.
It's actually televised.
The 63rd annual Lumberjack World Championships
will be held at the Lumberjack Bowl on the shores of Lake Hayward,
which apparently the Lumberjack Bowl is used to be used to be a holding pond
for log drives down the name Nama Keegan River.
I don't know how to pronounce that word.
Oh, man, I apologize.
I apologize for that one.
I apologize for that one.
So it's the perfect location for the championships.
And needless to say, what started as a small event
has grown to be massive
into the main timber sports competitions in the world.
And this year, around 100 competitors
from all over will compete in all the disciplines
between sawing, chopping, speed climbing, log rolling,
and boom running, boom running.
And each year and estimated, oh, now there's more.
12,000 spectators watch the competition in Lumberjack Bowl
and celebrate their timber sports on the festival grounds.
All right, baby, Mark.
Oh, no.
Are you ready?
What did Baby Mark ever do to you?
Why can't Baby Mark catch a break?
Baby Mark needs to become a professional,
and therefore needs to start a young age
and become so good at sports and logging
that he can build houses for all the poor people
across the world.
I just feel like giving a baby in X is not a great idea.
And I know I'm pretty radical for saying,
no, no, you got Baby Mark out the forests of Wisconsin
all alone with an X and a bottle of shardonnay.
So what am I doing?
What am I doing?
You got to get your equipment.
You know how to use a chainsaw, right, Baby Mark?
I just got an X.
How are you?
Yes, let's go with yes.
I absolutely can.
All right, just make sure you wear your chops.
My chops?
Yeah.
My chops?
Your chops, that's it.
Is that really it?
Is there something called a chops?
Because you're chopping an X.
No, it's your chops.
I just said the chops because it's so you don't chop your legs off.
Okay.
Or saw your legs off.
I didn't know that chops were a standard of lumberjacking.
So one of the competitions is a hot saw event
and you'll need a monster of a chainsaw.
Something that has insane amount of power
has to be single cylinder, cylinder, single motor power saw
and there's no impulse push button
or self-starting chainsaws.
So you have to draw string, pull start.
It's a race to start your start your saw
and then bear through the wood.
Well, isn't that entirely dependent on the mechanics
of the saw that you get?
You make your saw.
It's called a hot saw.
It's your saw.
You bring your own saw.
Well, I'd power it with lithium batteries.
You'll get that lithium explosive saw?
Yeah, exactly.
Look, they can't handle the power of a lithium.
I don't know about horse power on that
but the torque would be pretty good.
Electric motors have a great torque.
Yeah, I actually don't know if it would be better
because I don't know how like a single cylinder engine
compares to like what could amount
to any amount of wattage of a motor.
So honestly, I really don't know.
Yeah, basically the whole competition
is you start your saw and you power through
and slice through that log as fast as you can.
I mean, that's pretty cool.
So you have to be able to start your saw
and usually these saws are really hard to start
because they have the high horsepower and high torque.
So you have the big muscle pull it really hard.
Now again, I'm a baby.
I want to point that out.
But if I've been saw in since a very young age
and lumberjacking since a baby,
my testosterone has got to be crazy.
Like baby marks got a baby beard.
Let's be honest with that.
Baby marks nuts dropped.
Like puberty is happening earlier and earlier
in every generation.
It's just like game out the womb with puberty.
Baby Mark has bean bag balls.
Is that what you're saying?
Is that a compliment?
What is that?
What is that?
Levels of testosterone.
You got giant balls, giant honeys.
It's like you sit on a blanket.
Bag balls that sounds like tiny balls.
What do you mean you could sit pulling balls?
There's some watermelon balls.
No, no, bean bag chairs like the size of your person.
Oh, bean bag chairs.
Why, when you say bean bag,
I don't automatically think of a bean bag chair.
I meant bean bag chairs.
Different wavelengths right now.
Okay, okay.
You take your bean bag balls and you get out of here.
All right, so you get out here.
Part of that competition is obviously having to build your saw
and have it powerful and know what you're capable of
without overdoing it.
Sure.
You also need your axis.
All right, many, many.
Why?
For the chopping events, you'll need a double bid ax
so it's a double head and a five pound single bid ax.
Okay, all right.
So that double-sided ax got away at least 2.5 pounds.
Why?
It's just the requirement.
That's a minimum weight, two and a half pounds.
Well, I mean, okay, that's fair.
For a baby, like, I can't really do a lot of weight
so two and a half pounds seems more reasonable.
Yeah.
And then 24 inches overall length.
Okay, again, I'm a baby.
I'm probably not even 24 inches tall at this point,
but I can get some leverage, I guess.
If I start spinning, I'll be fine.
Perfect. You just all the other babies
that you killed in order to be the superior baby,
you use their bones to create the length of the ax.
Okay, number one, baby bones are not a very structurally
sound thing. Trust me, I know.
Number two, why did I need to kill the other babies?
For stem cells, was it for stem cells?
It's a testosterone.
An increase your testosterone.
Ah, bathing in the blood of my enemies,
naturally increases your testosterone even more than,
so let's say, lumberjacking does.
Exactly.
Yeah, great.
Best of both options.
All right.
Yeah, it's the best.
And then your single bit ax needs to be made of steel and wood.
Ah.
And five pounds of head weight.
Ah, and the handle needs to be longer.
It needs to be 28 or 36 inch long handle.
Or 36 inches.
Yeah, yeah.
28 to 36 inches.
28 or 36.
There's no one between you.
It's either 28 or 36.
Okay, well, I guess I'll go with 36.
So I'm trying to maximize here.
All right, all right.
Get that good motion, you know, extra head speed.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
All right, now you need your saw.
And this is for the single buck.
You'll need a specially designed crosscut saw,
which was nicknamed after misery whip.
Yeah, the saw is nicknamed the misery whip.
The misery whip might be because of its wicked appearance,
but it's most likely how badly your muscles would ache
if you used it all day to saw wood.
Okay.
Because you'd be miserable.
Anyway, it's made of steel and wood.
It's six and a half feet long and weighs over 11 pounds.
Great.
And of course, we got to make you look the part.
We got to get you a baby sized flannel,
garb, full up in arms,
some orange chaps to protect you
and make sure you're seen from your other lumberjacks.
Red plaid probably for you.
All right, fair enough.
All right, so getting into the different events,
there's men's, women's and couple team events
as a part of the competition.
So you have log rolling,
where competitors step onto a floating log
and spin it rapidly in the water with their feet.
Stopping it suddenly by digging into log with special shoes
and reversing the direction.
The idea is the competition you want to throw your opponent off.
Okay.
When they fall into the water, it's called wetting.
It's called wetting.
Yeah, it literally is called wetting.
You need to wet your opponent, Mark.
Uh, I don't know if that's really what I want to call it.
Do I have to call it that?
That's required, you're in the lumberjack games.
Right, of course.
I mean, of course, I should have known.
Silly question on my part, really.
Yes.
Okay, I'm going to wet all my opponents.
Good, good.
You just don't wet yourself.
I'm a baby, you can't blame me, really.
Well, then you lose.
All right, that's fine.
I won't wet myself.
Good, good.
Because we're all up as a baby and be,
okay, do you see how this analogy's falling apart?
Your baby mark doesn't seem cut out for this.
All right, now we need boom running,
where you sprint across a series of
linked floating logs from one dock to another and back.
So you run across and then you run back.
Obviously, the logs can spin, they can move.
All the different things can happen with those logs.
That will make you off balance.
So run fast, keep your balance and be good.
Okay, again, baby, not good at running,
not great with balance, seems like I'm as a disadvantage.
But you're light, which means you're less likely
to create these heavy logs into a spinning fashion.
So if you step in the right spots,
you got the light feet to make it work.
Yeah, I guess you're not wrong, but...
You know what, I won't question it, okay.
All right.
Cool.
On both of those relate to the job of the river pigs,
or the river hogs, or the river rats.
The people that floated logs down the river
because you had to catch them with chains and hooks
and run across them in order to gather all of them
as they floated down the river without letting them get past.
I see, and they built it precariously over a waterfall.
Death was lurking right around the corner.
Well, you wanted to catch them before they went
over the waterfall because then the logs would break
and splinter and be useless.
And you'd die, but that's a secondary kick.
No, no, the wood is what matters, okay.
The wood, of course.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now you have speed pole climbing.
This is where Lumberjack's scale is 60 foot or 90 foot pole.
And the goal is to be the first climber
to reach the top and descend back down to the ground.
And that's simulating what Lumberjack's would do
to fell a tree chopping the top off
and shaving down the sides.
You got to climb and get up the poles fast, you can't.
Okay, all right, easy.
Now you got the chopping games.
So there's the underhand chop, the springboard chop
and the standing block chop.
The underhand chop, you use a five pound single bit axe
competitors chop through a horizontal aspin log
12 inches in diameter and 28 inches long.
So you stand on a horizontal log and swing the axe
between their feet to chop the log in half.
So you're literally, you're literally like,
like, it's like this, Mark, like that.
All right, I'm glad that everyone was watching.
You're welcome.
Spotify so they could see exactly what you're doing.
I got it.
Yeah, yeah.
Now you got the standing block chop
where you use an axe on a vertical log.
First strike, the axe must be an upward cut
and then the following strikes follow a pattern
with competitors chopping halfway through the log
and one side and then running around
and chopping through the other side
to get through the rest of the log.
A lot of times they count the number of chops
when they are doing this competition,
but I believe it is the number of chops
and the time it takes for you to get through the log.
Is it like weighted versus one versus the other?
Is it actually just like one is more important?
I honestly don't know.
I think in different competitions,
some of them emphasize time while others emphasize
the number of swings.
Okay, all right, fair enough.
I think there's probably two different ways
that people do this and score this.
There's the springboard chop.
This is the one that's most interesting.
Have you ever watched the Lumberjack games at all
or seen highlights?
Again, I've seen clips of it.
I've never really seen it in depth.
Okay, so this is the one where competitors climb nine feet
using two springboard placements
and chop through 12 inch in diameter aspen.
So they'll chop into the wood,
shove a board into where they chopped in,
step up to that, chop into the wood again,
put another springboard, step up to that
and then chop through the log.
Damn, that seems like a lot of work.
A lot of risk to your tutsies.
It's crazy in the balance and also dangerous
because if those springboards come out
and you're holding an axe,
it's pretty, pretty big fall.
Yeah, they have to chop through the long at the top.
So there's a specific part at the top
that you have to chop through.
So probably being tall is an advantage
in this one to be completely honest.
Yeah.
Then you have axe throwing.
But again, baby, not very tall.
Yeah, but you'll be, it's called a springboard.
You'll be able to jump, spring up to the top
and then you know, time it and chop in.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's go with yes.
Let's go with yes, I believe.
Then you got axe throwing
where you throw the double bit axe
as close to the center of a target as possible
from 20 feet away.
Okay.
Never said somebody couldn't throw you
and then you throw it.
I don't, again, I tried this in the way back
with the football primer.
You say it's against the rules
and so I'm pretty sure there's going to be a rule
against launching.
It's called launching.
I remember.
Look at that.
I'm proud of you.
I'm proud of you.
Sounds like you're getting ready for that 100th episode.
I mean, what?
100th episode.
Yeah, the 100th episode special that I'm planning
and totally working on.
Okay, cool.
Good.
And then there's the sawing.
Okay.
So it's the hot saw where lumberjacks make three vertical cuts
down up and down through a 20 inch diameter white pine log,
which is the one where you, that's a chain saw, right?
And then you got the single buck where individual competitors
use one man to cross cut through a 20 inch diameter
of white pine log using that misery whip.
Misery whip.
Yeah, that's a type of type of saw.
Okay.
And across three days, all of these are used.
Competition start at 6 p.m.
so there's no death of heat stroke in the middle of July.
That would be good.
Babies don't really put up well against heat stroke.
Not usually anyway.
No, no.
Babies haven't fully developed.
They're sweating capabilities.
No, no, they haven't.
No.
So heat is definitely a problem for babies.
This is very important for those of you that are parents
why strollers have shade and all that stuff
and you don't leave baby in the car.
Yep, don't do that.
Those are bad things to do.
But baby can chop wood.
Baby chop wood.
Yeah, baby chop wood.
Yeah, that's definitely.
So day ones are the quarter finals.
For most events, only the top 12 advance in the next day
for the semi is the top six competitors
from the previous year automatically advance.
Good for them.
If there are more than 30 competitors to the event,
the other 24 competitors will be placed
in up to four heats of six.
Day two is the semi final competition.
Three heats of six competitors,
12 from the quarter finals plus the six seated directly
into the heat based on past performance
and only the top two competitors in each semi final
advance to the finals.
Great.
So then it's an ultimate face off.
And day three is the world championship competition
where the top two of each event face off
for the championship in each event.
And damn, it's like a tournament bracket style.
Yeah, all right.
There is a champion in each of the categories
as well as an overall.
And for each event, the top six placements are awarding points,
first place getting eight, second, seven, and so on.
Oh, the top eight placements.
So it's eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
So when the overall word you want to compete
in as many events as possible in places highest possible,
obviously, and earn the most points.
So it's a virtual competition.
They're not fully facing off.
It's each event and you get points.
And it's called the Tony Wise all around champion
named after the lumberjack world championships founder.
And it's awarded to the lumberjack with the most points.
This seems like something that we could do ourselves.
I mean, why not?
We should just like get a log and chop it
because it's good exercise.
And then we could set it up in a way that we could time trial
and see where we stand amongst these people.
Because that's always the biggest problem is
we don't have any comparison.
I'm going to declare this right now.
We're going to start a video series that is normy versus elite
and showcase the performance difference
between someone that is good at sport and not
because that's exactly what we're missing
in all of these things.
Regular versus highly regarded.
Yeah, we'll come up with a better name for it.
Something like that.
Pro versus Joe is already taken that's been
talked about before.
Yeah, but we don't like them.
Whoever came up with that,
they don't do it right.
We're going to show them how to do it really right.
Yeah, neither of us are named Joe.
So yeah, screw anyone named Joe.
Here at Go My Favorite Sports Team,
we hate people named Joe.
Do you have any friends named Joe?
I don't know if I have any friends.
No, of course not.
We hate Joe.
Anyway, that's it, Mark.
That's the lumberjack games.
We chop wood, we cut wood, we saw wood,
we climb wood, we get wood.
All right, we get wood and you can get wood too
by going to Wisconsin and just walking onto the field.
I'm pretty sure that anyone is allowed in there.
You can try whatever you want,
try for yourself.
And then if you stack up against the competition,
then hey, what's the prize?
Money?
Question mark?
Money, do we get the money?
Lumberjack games prize, $50,000 per event.
What's the prize money?
$20,000 in prize money and up to $20,000 more in Sweden.
These are all different things.
Let's see what the world championships are.
Lumberjack, world championships, prize.
It just still says $50,000 more than $50,000 in prize money.
That's all it's saying.
Well, that doesn't tell enough.
There are 21 events for both men and women
to compete for over $50,000 in prize money.
Yeah, but also think of it this way.
You're so masculine at the end of it
that everyone will want a piece of you.
And that's really what really matters.
They will want your wood.
Yes, they're going to want your wood.
Regardless of what gender your wood is,
they will want your wood.
They want your wood.
That's just what Wisconsin's all about.
They always want each other's wood.
And honestly, at the end of the day,
you'll get sponsorships like different companies
that make saws or axes or hardware and stuff like that.
Don't want to work with you.
That's true.
You can become part of the great capitalistic machine.
Yeah, you too can prevent forest fires
by choppin' down trees.
Yes.
And then sell your soul to the lumber industry.
There's conscientious lumber, lumberers.
Of course, I'm not saying there's anything bad about it.
Oh.
Anyway, we're going to cut down a tree.
I'm kind of scared to do that with you
because I actually know what I'm doing.
I don't know if you do.
Oh, excuse me.
I excuse you're right, but you excuse me.
Like you couldn't teach me once.
What am I going to just go rogue and start chopping
every tree left and right?
A timber, guess which one?
I'm just going to do one choppin' every tree
and it's going to be like hot potato.
You're just going to like don't stay in the wrong spot.
What am I going to just blow everything up?
Yes, probably, but with your lithium battery saw
that you're going to make, yeah, it becomes easier.
No, Riobee makes a lithium.
I believe lithium chainsaw.
Here we go.
Yeah, they do.
Riobee makes a battery powered chainsaw.
They have both an 18 volt version
and I believe they have a 40, but yeah, they do.
All right.
Well, it's not a bit.
If you want to support our tree cutting adventures
and competition videos in the future,
one way to do that is obviously
by supporting the podcast, listening everywhere
and watching it exclusively on Spotify.
But also you can go and buy merch store.gmfst.com,
phone fingers, t-shirts, pins.
If we sell enough of stuff,
maybe there'll be cool new ideas
and we can sell little like,
I don't know if we can sell access.
Can we sell access?
Wait, why not?
I don't know.
We could sell access.
We can sell whatever we want.
We will sell whatever we want.
And also they just came out.
They're coming out real soon with a brand new 20 inch
chainsaw 40 volts.
It's going to be sick.
Nice.
Nice.
But thank you so much for listening.
And we'll see you in the next episode
of Go My Favorite Sports Team.
I guess this is us just saying bye.
Go follow Mark where he's doing stuff,
Mark fly everywhere.
I'm Tyler Shide, whatever.
Go go chop a tree.
It's gonna do you some good.
Oh yeah, we have a TikTok now.
You have to talk?
What do we have to do?
I started a TikTok.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, just posting the clips
from when we had guests on that stuff.
Oh, thanks.
All right, bye.
All right, bye.