Welcome to go
My favorite sports team
My name is Mark. I don't know a thing about sports
It's confession
I've never known anything never I'm liar
This podcast is a sham
This podcast is a sham and you all should unsubscribe
Right now because there's no truth in anything that we say on this podcast. I am not a sport noir
Go my favorite sport team. I don't have one. It's all I and my fellow liar
Tyler he doesn't know sports either I I'm not a liar. We're a travesty
I'm
I'm a sportor I've done the sports that sounds like words of someone who knows sports. No, not at all not even a little bit
What do you have to say for yourself? I have to say that I do know sports
I have a master's degree in sport administration that I earned many a years ago and
He's ever shown on this podcast once you would think that after we jump to video he would have shown it
But he didn't and he won't because he doesn't exist. Told you it's a no higher and my dad can't find it
I know where it is, but it just doesn't know where to look. Uh-huh. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. It doesn't know where to look
Well, I guess this is the end for us
We had a good run. We sold a lot of merch and
And we'll be shutting everything down. We'll be deleting the YouTube channel
We apologize for everything that we've done to mislead you yada yada yada. Well, goodbye
It's so great that you started this by saying that you're a liar
So then what you're saying is clearly a lie
But if you're telling me the truth then how would they know they're stuck in the the conundrum of what is
What is true that you said you're a liar or whether that you are telling the truth when you're saying everything's gonna shut down
I'll never tell
It's a trap. It is a trap. That's what I've determined from this is it's been a trap all the time
Yeah, would a sportwear have this sweet sport headband? I was gonna ask you about that
Is that just uh, just a recent development you decided to wear today? No, I've actually been wearing it for a while
It's not a sport headband and all it's one of Amy's headbands, but when I'm editing
Like I for some reason it makes me feel like I go edit mode
If I put this on and I'm just like I was time to go
I imagine the people who play sports feel the same way, but I wouldn't know because lies
Yeah, that's I you know, I have a headband that's worn out that I used to wear but not during sports. Yeah
Anyway, Mark, how are you today? You know, I'm very tired. I relate. I still I had another trouble sleeping night
It's been kind of weird. Oh, I'm sorry
Yeah, you've just been working your butt off. I just can't sleep, you know
Yeah, well, I
Feel like it at some point here. I'll be done working, but the truth is that I'm not
So I keep working
But you could sleep at any time. So what's your excuse? I'm working hard to I'm doing my YouTube channel
I'm doing music. I'm doing a whole bunch of shit. I said sleep. Oh, I don't know
I'm just not sleeping you could sleep at any time
It just my brain is not shutting off when I try and go to bed at night melon melatonin
I should that's what that's my goal for tonight. That's probably what I'm gonna do tonight
That's your goal for tonight. Have you do you not do melatonin ever?
Very rarely because if you do it too frequently your body stops developing it
That lies my body never developed doing the first place
Well, your camera like froze for a second now. You're like blurry on my end. No, no. I have gigabit internet. Oh, so do I
I
Took me so long to get it. Let me enjoy it
Anyway, anyway recent sporting news that's really interesting
It's the one thing at it's actually a meme. It's going around. It's really funny
So Otani who's the picture for the anaheim angels
Took a picture with this teammate Mike Trout and it's really interesting because
Otani
Struck out trout in the baseball classic the world baseball classic right and it was the last out of Japan
Versus the US
Well in the picture Mike looks really disappointed and Otani's there with his translator
And they're both smiling and happy and they're holding up these signed cards
Well, the cards are a picture
Of Otani striking out Mike Trout and they're signed by Otani and Mike Trout and they're all holding it up and Mike just looks
Completely defeated while they're so happy and it's really funny. I was trying so desperately to follow
I was trying to google. I don't know how to spell any of their names and I didn't get anywhere. So Mike Trout, Otani
What did you just say Mike Trout and Otani took a picture together? Uh-huh holding
Baseball cards. Oh, I'm trying to find it by googling it
I've seen it all over social media. So I don't know if it's going to immediately come up on Google
They took a picture together with Otani's translator holding up the signed autograph cards
depicting the historic moment where Japan beat the United States in the world baseball classic
Because Otani was on Japan pitching to Mike Trout who was the final out that he struck out to end the game
So
Them shaking hands
Means their friends now when they should be enemies
They're on the same team for Major League Baseball. Oh
That's interesting and so they took the picture together because they both signed the depiction
But obviously Mike who was on the losing end of the memory that's depicted on the card
Looks defeated. He's sad
Because in that moment he struck out
So it's too is too is too is now I get the humor. Yeah, I get it sports. It's fun
Man, that's a lot of lore to have to know to get why a picture is interesting
But I guess that's way memes go to you gotta gotta know the history of memes to be able to follow the memes
Yeah, yeah exactly
So that's the fun sport news that I have right now other than the NFL preseason has kicked off
Which is really cool because football is coming back in the United States
People are yelling at me about doing world news stuff and there's no world news
Outlet that really shows me anything outside the United States sports wise
We should just do we should do live streams for these recordings
And then the audience will be our researchers like most of the things that we do on this podcast
We offload all of the work and actual content gathering to the people listening therefore we have to do nothing
I like this
Well, that's what I do
I'm bringing
I picked some dequeus as out of a hat and I I yell at people that that's what I do
I do have a tiktok update. Oh, yeah, yeah, so I posted a tiktok and
This is what it like layers of memes
So there was this filter that I talked about with the with Bob and Wade
um called like aged and then old but crispy baby and I liked old but crispy baby because I thought it was like great meme potential
But then when I recorded it by the time I posted it they took that filter down
So when I posted it I thought it was a bug and I was like oh shit. It didn't link the uh
The filter so I took I deleted my post so I could like relink it
But then by the time I tried to relink it it was gone
And it wasn't there anymore because and also I forgot that if you if you relink it
It's saved when it saves to your device. It has that stupid tiktok banner, and then you can't link them a filter again
So everyone just thought I was nuts
Everyone thought I was crazy
I was like horrifically depressed like remembering my dad because I made a dead dad joke
And everyone like what I was trying to do is just like the crispy baby filter makes you look like a
madman
So I climbed up on my roof and I was like this is gonna be hilarious and I was just like oh, is he okay? And I was like
I swear I had a booth here
Anyway, so now I saw the post and I liked it and then I was like wait why did go away and
I looked like a crazy person. Oh
Whatever anyway, that's it. It's fair
I'll have to say about that
All right. Well, today we are actually rewarding our audience member
Particularly the one that set the bar with a eloquent jacquoise
Ah
And we are giving them what they asked for
Okay, so no other jacquoise is we all right everyone else made a jacquoise
She got a wait. We're honoring that one jacquoise still to this day. You have not exceeded them
We're honoring them by doing the scheme primer
Didn't we already do that? No, we did not do that
That's the one that you the episode that you hijacked and blocked from ever happening. I'm pretty sure
For sure, we did that. I'm pretty sure we didn't I'm pretty sure we didn't let me look up some new hijacking material
Ha
Well some lesson. We just can't do it. We can't do it man. We can't how can you give the people what they want
You can't do it you can never reward them because then they'll have expectations and they'll expect rewards coming in
and then they'll just like pander they'll cater to what you're doing. And you don't want that. Ooh
interesting new segway diversion
Man bitten by stray cat contracts bacterial infection unknown to science
Don't you want to hear about that?
It's not sports related.
But it's could be.
Was the cat in a race?
No, what if he was like an athlete
and it really hamps his career
and he's 48, I doubt it.
We already did the injuries in illness episode.
Well, you love talking about football 10,000 times,
so we could talk about injuries a few more times.
Mark, Mark, Mark.
Mark, Mark, Mark.
Ah, what?
You've skied before.
Ah, you can't prove that.
You went there with your foreign exchange student friend.
No, I didn't go with him.
He went separately.
I just saw him there.
And you all went, oh, hey, remember me?
The guy you live with?
And he ignored me, so.
He was probably on a date, you know?
No, he wasn't.
He was actually with all, like, the cool kids
and they were skiing up and they were laughing really loudly.
And I was laughing too, but farther away, you know,
on a different hill.
Were there tears beneath the laughter?
Tears can't stay liquid in the snow, so.
No, I don't know.
Yeah, but you've skied before.
And I'm curious how the actual active skiing went for you.
Look, skiing's a very traumatic time for me.
I would appreciate it if you put a trigger warning
and then also shut up and delete this,
because it offends me.
Nah, your IQs isn't eloquent enough.
Well, there's several types of skiing, Mark.
The one that you've probably done was downhill.
God, here we go.
What, uphill skiing?
No, cross country.
Cross country is uphill.
You can cross skiing, uphill skiing,
into hill skiing, what next?
All right, maybe there's three types.
The other one is freestyle, where you do tricks and stuff.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, yeah.
That's another type.
So downhill, obviously you go down.
You need speed.
Racers go down slope, use gravity.
Go fast.
Okay, I'm not an idiot.
Just because I got a headband like a sports guy
doesn't mean I have the brain of one.
Okay.
All right, cross country.
I'm desperately looking up anything to get out of the skiing nonsense.
Racers traverse, of course, using their own power.
They walk with skis and skate on the skis.
They go up and downhill to traverse terrain
that is difficult and snowy.
See, this is why we need to do these live
because then I could pull the audience
to see what they want to hear about more.
They want to hear about this bacterial infection
that I'm learning so much about.
No, no.
See, in recent news,
Michaela Schifrin reset the women's alpine
skiing World Cup wins record
with her 83rd career victory,
breaking her tie with the famous Lindsay Vaughn.
83, 83 victories.
How many competitions are there a year?
I don't know a lot.
How long has she been skiing?
This is the World Cup wins record.
World Cup seems like there would be even less.
There's multiple events that occur at the World Cup
so like giant solemn, there's solemn.
But she broke her tie with her 83rd career victory.
The record previously held by Lindsay Vaughn
and this took place in Italy on January 24th of this year.
Okay.
And then she officially tied Lindsay Vaughn
for the female record with her 137th career podium
taking third place at the Slam at the World Cup finals
on March 18th.
By podium, you mean she was able to stand on the podium?
Yes.
So for a second, third, I believe
is considered the podium for most things.
Even I know that.
You don't need to specify.
People don't know that.
Then they don't even know anything outside of sports.
Just write your own online shop.
Also without any knowledge in programming or design.
Test the shopping cart.
And bring your business ID successful in the world.
Go to shopfile.de, www.schreigstrichpodcast23.
Act one, Mark.
Okay.
The first skiers.
Guys, I tried to stop it.
Nope, it's happening.
It's happening.
It's happening.
When do you think people started skiing?
How far back?
Well, we covered this in the snowboarding primer,
which was a much more thorough
and comprehensive explanation of snow-bound hill sports.
It was that guy who was running away from the Yeti by taking a tree
and deripped it in half, I believe.
And then he put one, one through the other one away.
It didn't need it.
It was inferior.
Two, two, and one good.
You put that on your two feet.
One for two, great deal.
Buy one, get two.
Easy.
Bargain.
Yeti's coming.
Don't have time for two.
Gotta go down the hill.
And then he thought about skiing then, actually.
But he was like, that's a dumb idea.
I don't want everyone to do that.
And then he threw the other log away at the Yeti.
And then the Yeti died.
Oh, and then he got away.
And he did some sick flips on the way down.
Well, you're pretty accurate in the sense
of it was a long, long time ago.
I know.
The earliest accounts of skiing date back
to the last ice age, which is over 10,000 years ago.
I know it.
With archaeological archaeological, archaeological,
archaeological evidence suggests that early human ancestors
were skiing over 22,000 years ago.
I knew it.
Strapping sticks to their feet in order to travel
and hunt during the ice age.
I know it.
Even beyond the ice age.
Skis were still using colder climates.
And the oldest ski fragments have been found
to date back to 6000 BCE Russia.
And in 2014, Norwegian archaeologists found a pair
of wooden skis that had been frozen in ice
at the top of a mountain for over 1300 years.
I wonder if there's a person attached to those skis.
Just like a frozen man in ice cube.
Oh, they're strapped on.
The skis are really skis.
I highly doubt it, but that's hilarious,
because I'd like to think that they just, like,
loony tune style went into an iceberg just out.
And then froze there, so they've got to be, like,
fully split out.
That's what one can hope.
It would be a great picture.
It would be a great picture.
Do you think, like, remnants in ice were the, uh,
the instigators or the inspiration for ice sculpting?
Like, they just didn't want to crack into the person.
They were, like, carving around
and then let them melt afterwards.
Look, let me come up with a ridiculous bullshit.
Use dictates.
I got one job here, and that's to come up with
useless bullshit to throw us off.
I do.
I'm not a territory.
You've been struggling today.
I thought I'd try and help.
I have been killing it with the distractions.
Not distractions, patented with the go away
from this hypothesis.
You know, you know, I always love a good gaffed,
you know, go away from this, uh, gaffed up,
this thought process sees.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Anyway, the first records of non-military
organized ski race.
It's always military.
It's always military.
It's always military.
I want some sport that didn't start from some army,
but we'll find one somewhere.
Yeah, but we haven't found one yet.
Actually, it's weird because every single time
that we talk about some going down a snowy hill on some
device, which we've done sledding,
Bob sledding, shield sledding, snowboarding,
snowboarding, all this starts with some army.
What is it about snow and military?
I don't know.
They really need to traverse mountains and go fast
and take out the enemies.
But apparently, there are records of a Norwegian
troops using skis as far back as the Battle of Oslo in 1161.
The Battle of Oslo, all right.
I don't mean to make fun of that.
That probably was a very intense battle.
I don't know what...
I don't know why that's where I draw my line of life.
Oslo, yeah, right.
Ah, whatever.
So it was fought outside also.
It was the night of the 3rd February.
Where?
1161.
Between Hawkan, the 2nd of Norway,
and Einge, the 1st of Norway,
during the Civil War area,
as the son of Egorger,
Rocket, and King Harold,
silly.
No, wait, that's not an S, that's a G.
What are you trying to say?
King Harold, Gilly,
Einge had been named King of Norway.
I'm sending to me.
Send it to me.
Send it to me.
I'm sending this to you.
Let me, I'll get it.
I'll figure this out.
I believe in you.
All right.
Where is this coming from?
Where is this?
Right here.
Okay.
All right.
Man, what country is this from?
Jesus, what are these names?
Okay.
The Battle of Oslo was fought outside
Oslo on the night of 3 Feb,
1161, between Hawkan 2
and Norway of Einge 1,
of Norway.
Norway hated Norway.
During the Civil War era.
Norway.
Hey, there you go.
Oh, yeah.
That's the son of Ingrier,
Rack Bells.
It's a daughter.
That's daughter of Rack Belld,
and King Harold Gilly,
making him the only legitimate son of Gilly,
as we know.
And then King and Norway,
after Gilly,
killed by Sigurd Schlembi.
What?
And two half brothers,
Magnus and Sigurd and El
was in the,
also King was a three-year-old Norway
by 1157,
Einge brother,
were dead.
That's,
that's before that happened.
1161 was the first one,
and then 1157 was the first one,
and then 1157 was the B.C.
So remained in the ruler of Norway,
hacking two illegitimate,
illegitimate son of Gilly,
as we know,
then contested the Einge rule
in the Battle of Oslo,
and,
what does it have to do with King?
What does it have to do with King?
What does it have to do with King?
The scheme happened
during this battle that I imagine
was them getting skis
and slapping them on
and sliding down the mountain
to battle each other,
and people died.
How do you know?
I don't know.
It's just,
that's the excerpt that I have here,
that this was written a long time ago,
you know.
Just about as old as this battle was,
that's how long this episode was written.
Oh, interesting.
So you've been sitting on this for a while?
Yeah, yeah, you know.
Because, you know,
you had a hostile hijacking of an episode.
I would never.
And I definitely haven't tried this episode.
Anyway,
for sure.
Modern scheme,
you have cross country,
which is the oldest modern race
being the Vasyloppet race in Sweden,
which is a 90 kilometer race
where competitors travel between
Salin and Mora,
but there's also a relay
with a 30 kilometer
and a 45 kilometer option.
The first of these races took place in 1922,
and 16,000 people participate each year.
And then you have downhill,
recreational scheme existed before the 1800s.
It became popular sport activity
in the 1800s,
with modern downhill scheme dating back
to the 1850s,
when Norwegian skier,
Sondre Nordheim popularized the use of
willowskies with curved sides
that had steer,
heel bands as bindings.
Steer, heel, weight,
Steers don't have stiff.
Oh,
did I say steer?
What the heck?
You said steer.
I'm tired.
I'm tired.
I'm tired.
My name is Tyler.
It's closer to tired.
That does nothing to do with your state of being.
It's very temporary.
Because everyone gets tired.
No, on the idea.
No matter how close your name is to it,
you think ghillie son of
Hakhum was,
could never be tired
because it doesn't even close?
Do you think he's the inventor of the ghillie suit?
No!
My job!
Anyway.
Anyway, Norwegian skier,
Sondre Nordheim popularized the use of willowskies
with curved sides that had stiff,
heel bands on bindings.
And the first national competition in Norway was in 1868
and was won by you guessed it,
that same person with the bindings,
Sondre Nordheim.
Go Nordheim, go, I guess.
Yep.
So ski equipment.
You know, back in the day,
they're made of wood, ash.
You know, they chop down the tree
and race the eddy down the mountain.
But early skis were expensive,
and hickory was a particularly difficult wood to work with,
which led to the invention
of the laminated ski in 1893,
which was made of hickory or ash base
with a layer of lighter spruce.
But the glue use wasn't really waterproof,
so the skis kind of fell apart sometimes.
You know what I imagine,
whenever you say wood name specifically,
most of it goes over a lot of our heads,
but there's some people out there,
like there's a wood guy,
that's just drilled.
Every time you give specificity of wood,
it's like train like kids.
You know there are videos on YouTube
of just trains going through mountains,
and they give full details of exactly
what the train's specificity is.
And I know that there's someone,
and I know that when you do these analyses
of the exact materials of all these sporting equipment,
there's some guy out there that's like,
yes, yes,
spruce.
So I'm like, I'm glad you do it for them
because they get very little,
and I appreciate it.
That's what this podcast offers,
specificity.
Well, in 1926,
the segment is tealant.
The tealant was invented
for you to be able to carve into the edge
and being able to steer better.
But you know,
it also had a habit of breaking
or losing screws,
so skiers had to keep spare parts with them.
I see, I see, okay.
And then the 1930s and 40s
ski makers experimented with aluminum
and layered wood skis,
slowly improving earlier designs
by the 60s and 70s,
fiberglass skis came about.
And today's skis are made
of multiple layers,
materials vary by manufacturer,
but most skis have laminated wood.
laminated wood.
And they usually have fiberglass layers
above and below the core piece of wood
to strengthen it.
Some have materials like
cavlar, titanium,
and carbon fiber within them
would still having the steel edges
to carve into the snow in the ice.
Okay.
Well, that's pretty cool.
Yeah, so they're designed to flex and everything.
Hmm.
Currently, in the Olympics,
there are over 20 Olympic ski events
with Alpine skiing,
being downhill,
solemn, giant,
solemn,
and super G
and the super combined.
Then you have the second type of skiing
that I mentioned earlier,
which is freestyle skiing,
which is like your tricks and stuff,
so you have aerials,
moguls,
ski cross,
half pipe slope style.
And then cross country skiing has
sprint,
team sprint,
and then 10 to 50k
individual start pursuit
and mass start,
and then relay.
Was I supposed to remember those?
Then we have Nordic and rhinos.
Nordic combined,
which is another version of skiing.
I'm just waiting for the episode
where you actually quiz me
on this information,
and I'm just like,
my entire career
disintegrates before my eyes.
Nordic combined
combines downhill
with cross country.
So for the normal hill
Gunderson,
racers take a 90 meter
normal ski jump hill
and then head into a
10k cross country race.
The large hill,
Gunderson,
is the same as above,
but the ski jump hill is bigger.
It's 120 meters.
Of course.
And then there's
team Gunderson,
which is also on the large hill.
Team Gunderson!
Go!
Then another ski type
that we didn't mention,
ski jumping,
which is the one where they
go off the ramp
and they get all aerodynamic
and fly through the air
to go as far as they can
and land.
We should do that one.
Definitely.
You need to do that one.
That one's so dangerous.
What do you mean?
Has anyone ever
died doing it?
Yes.
Okay.
Ah!
All right.
Okay.
Well.
All right.
Act two.
After skimming as much
through that as I could.
Okay.
I think we covered all of it.
Don't quiz me.
Time to ski.
Baby Mark.
Oh, no.
The mountain yetis have
spoken.
Oh, ah, well.
I know how to beat them.
Idiots.
You need to build your
skis.
Oh, they're talking to me?
Oh, sorry, idiots.
Uh, I love you.
Why are they talking to me?
Because we are the
yeti folk of the mountain.
Ah.
You have wood fiber
glass metal.
Illestomer.
Illestomer?
Is that another wood?
It's an elastic
or rubber like material.
Oh.
Your skis must have
a minimum length of 86 inches.
Oh, god.
Mad measurements again.
You got ruler.
Do you have tape measure?
83 inches for women.
Oh.
Your components of the skis
must have the nose,
which is the front tip
that keeps you from
digging into the snow.
So you curve it up
so you can float over.
In case you run into
fresh powder.
Okay.
There's the tail,
which is the back.
It can be flat or curved,
depending on how you design it.
Do you want to ski
backwards?
You will want to curved.
Well, do I have
never done that before?
Probably not.
We are prepping for
downhill race.
Right.
How often do people ski
backwards?
Pretty often.
When?
In freestyle.
And some downhill stuff.
Okay.
My brother does it.
Oh, are you ever
brother?
Mr. Yeti?
Yes.
I have many brothers.
I am Yeti.
The bottom of the ski
that touches the snow
is called the base.
It's your contact
points.
You want to make
sure to wax this so that
you repel the water
and glide over the snow
nicely.
Teacher?
Yes.
Yeah, teacher.
Where do I get wax?
From the beehives
in the summer.
It's winter.
From the beehives
in the winter that are
dormant.
Okay.
You just find bees.
All right.
Okay.
You have your contact
points, which are usually
the front and the back
of the ski just pass the
curve of the tip.
And then you have your
camera, which is the curve
that helps lift you
up off the ground.
It helps distribute your
weight between the
nose and the tail
because if you press
down, you know,
it's like a boat.
I don't even know if I can
make this thing flat
let alone perfectly
bowed.
Well, it's
bowed so it distributes
your weight across the
whole ski instead of just
being where your feet are.
Can I like borrow some?
I suppose we might be
able to allow it.
Okay, cool.
I don't know if the
bindings will fit you
because they're
yeti bindings.
And I'm a bait.
Well, then I can make
my own, if I got a
make stuff, like I'll
make my own bindings,
whatever that is.
Okay.
Like I could make that
out of like cloth or
like some.
Yeah, you could
tie it on or you know.
Okay.
That feels more reasonable.
You know, I like
that this is a discussion.
It hasn't been that
a lot.
All right.
My life, which is
very short life because
I'm a baby,
but I've been asked to do
a lot.
Okay.
Now we gather your
hands.
Just in your borrowing
skis, you just grab
skis.
Oh, cool.
Thanks.
Yeah.
They vary in size.
So can I get like a pass
like a yearly pass where
I like I pay once and I
get all the skis I
want.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeti resort.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Got hot chocolate.
Yeah.
That's in the lodge.
All right.
This is pretty cool.
All right.
Did you know if you
give water to a baby?
It dies.
No.
All right.
All right.
You need boots.
You need high quality
ski boots designed
for speed.
You wanted to scroll
yeah, do you
too?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You need your poles
because they help
right.
Alright.
Most of you if you get
stuck, but they're
primarily used for you to
step in turn.
All right.
And most of you,
if you get stuck.
But they're primarily
used for you to step in
You're a helmet. You got to protect your brain.
Goggles because at high speeds, you don't want your eyes to dry out and being able to see where
you're going is important. Yes. If you're racing, you want a suit, which is an aerodynamics
suit, much like losers and other people wear. But to keep warm, you wear an aerodynamic
speed suit designed to be skin tight and reduced drag.
Okay.
Luckily, you're with the Yadis because part C is fine to slope.
Aren't we on one? Yep. Usually I have these conversations at the top of mountains.
But there are slopes all over. You look for mountains. You look for hills. Some hills
can have them like a place you probably know about because you're from Ohio, perfect
north in Indiana. Who's in Indiana? Yeah. I never knew where it was. It's like across
the border. Weird. But there are slight variations and courses for downhill skiing, but you
basically scan mountains. See, this is where like this conversation with
Wade, where I don't remember ever having a class shirt. I don't remember that being
offered to me. I don't remember that being a thing. I'm sure it exists, but I have so
many big gaps in high school that I don't remember anything that occurred. So where, where
was a class shirt offered? Where was this in the school? Where? It was like ordered. It
was like, you remember when we voted for like our senior like, no, I don't. That's the
thing too. I don't remember any of that stuff. When did you not happen? Did you skip
home room or something? I don't know. Maybe. I don't remember what home room was where
it where I was like, where you. It was like, where you want home room was. I don't
remember being in it. I think you like skipped out and went to like, you're the music
room or something. Yeah, I had banned stuff that I could. I think it was something
where it's like, I could take home room for band. I don't know why, but I missed out
on apparently everything in school. Yeah, apparently, because I have that shirt. It's
back in Ohio. It's in a memorable Bioia box. I actually have a picture, an old, old picture
of me wearing it. But anyway, there are slopes all over. If you have a mountain that gets
snow, you'll probably be able to find a slope there in the United States.
If you got a mountain, if anybody listening out there, your mountain, the mountain that
you have, if you live near a mountain, but the most Olympic downhill slopes have a drop
of 800 to 1100 meters for men in the races and 800 meters to 450 meters for the women's
races. Take that woman. I don't remember which one was farther. The men have a steeper
drop. Can I go on the women's one? Yes. Yes. Okay. Cool. Good. Just checking.
And for the record, Olympic skiers can reach speeds over 80 miles per hour. Well, as we
covered in Luzge, that's nothing. A how fast did Luzge go? I don't remember. I think
it was slower. Never mind. I think Luzge was like 60 miles per hour. Luzge dumb sport
anyway, right? Fastest Luzge 90 miles per hour. Take that skiers. Yeah. Take that skiers.
All right. But if you want to just ski recreationally, it's really fun. You just go to search
up U.S. ski slopes if you're in the U.S. or ski slopes near you, wherever you are in
the world. Generally, most ski slopes have ratings. So like the green circle, universally
is like the beginner slope. It usually has a slope of about 6 to 26 percent grade.
There's no brush, no rocks, no treelums. Blue squares, which are my favorite, are more
difficult with slope grades 25 to 40 percent, but they're clear. We call these groomers.
They're designed for you to be able to go fast without running into dangerous obstacles
like brush rocks trees. Those are out of there as well. I feel like they should pick a
better name other than blue square. No groomers. Oh, yeah. It's a group slope. Oh, my God.
They're. No, I feel like that's fair for you to have that reaction. You're still innocent
minded. You wouldn't even think of that. So, you know, oh my God. These. Then you have
black diamonds, which are difficult. Those are the ones you want to be an advanced skier
on. Usually they're steep, steep grades of over 40 percent. And they may not have had
rocks, trees, branches, and stuff removed. Then you have your double belt black diamond,
which is even higher than that. You better know what you're doing or you could die.
Okay. Well, that's fun. Yeah. And then there's back country skiing, which my brother does.
And has anyone ever died from skiing? Yes. How many? How many? How many? How many
skiers have died? I mean, I'm pretty sure everyone who would ski eventually dies. So I don't
have that gas specified die skiing. There were 27 deaths in 2012 to 2013. Wow, which is 0.47
fatalities per million. Wow. Rising to 39 deaths in 2015 to 2016, which would end it up being
0.74 fatalities per million. In 2018 to 2019, there were 42 deaths. 2019 to 2020. There were
57 deaths. When you say per million, it just makes it seem so much worse. Like, I know it's bad.
Any death is bad, but it's like, when you say so many deaths per million, it just seems like
really, my name is pretty severe. Well, you got to do the percentages of the amount of people
that want skiing, you know? So that's why they do per million per the amount of people that had
skied that year per records and whatnot. All right, fair enough. Just makes it seem like, I don't
know if people would listen to this. They might not want to go skiing after this. These are the people
that probably did backcountry or did the, the, the diamonds and stuff like that where you can run
into issues of avalanche zones and stuff like that as opposed to on ski slopes. It's all about
learning. If you're smart and you know what you're doing and you, you play it right and you
participate properly and pay attention to the world around you, nature, other skiers, stuff like that,
you eliminate that. There's a rule in skiing because I learned a ski when I was three years old.
Mark, three years old. In Bracken Ridge, Colorado, I learned a ski. Wow. Look at this guy.
Look at the brags. The reason I love skiing. Look at the brags on these guys.
The reason I love skiing is it's, it's a big reason why my mom and my dad met and ended up getting
married. Oh, okay. Well, that's, that's all right. Okay. Everyone stop making fun of them.
That's all the reason. My mom and my dad met through their, their friend Marla and she met both of
them. My dad used to work with her and she had met my mom through something else. I don't know if
it was school or something. Okay. She knew both of them and said they should meet because you both
enjoy skiing. And so that was a big reason why they started meeting and it was a huge part of
their relationship before like me and my brother were born. So when me and my brother were born,
we got brought up going skiing because it was a huge part of their life of something they both
really enjoyed. And so we took family ski trips when we could and, you know, perfect north was
close by. We'd meet up with my cousins, go to Colorado and stuff. And it was just a fun time.
And there's a ruling scheme that my parents taught me. And it's like, when you feel like you could
do one more run, that's when you stop. You don't do that one more because that's when you get hurt.
You know, that's what they say. That's what made me learn to actually enjoy running. They say
the running coach thing app that I had was like run as if you could run faster, as if you could
run a lot faster. And that's where you run. And then I went like, I'm running really slow. But then
I ran for 30 minutes and I was like, that was nice. And I enjoyed it. Nice. And I didn't die.
Well, this is how you ski, Mark. Oh, I thought we'd talk. Did we not cover that?
We didn't talk about the how to ski. So if you're racing, you place your poles in front of you at
the starting one. You make sure they're stuck in there, but enough to where they're not going to
get stuck. When you push forward, they need to be able to pull it out. Okay. Your weight should be
over your feet. Get ready. The starting line is counting down. Move your feet close together
to the start one to begin to straighten up. Okay. You swing back and forth to try and time it as
the buzzer's about to count down to the go methods. You're getting momentum. Slide four. Slide back.
Slide forward. Slide back. And launch. It's go time. You'll want to leave the crowd's position and
start skating like figure skates. You push out on digging in the edge of your skis to build speed
while you're pulling forward with your your poles. Uh-huh. Then you'll want to move to have your
skis parallel. Uh-huh. You're heading down. You want to gain speed. You'll get into the crouch
position. Uh-huh. So that you're more aerodynamic. Uh-huh. As you get to each gate, this is this
is downhill skiing. The gates are little poles with flags like a flag crossing. You want to get
close to them. You got to go around certain sides of them. Okay. Weave down the mountain.
The steer you want to turn. You lean and carve into the outside edge of the ski in the direction
you want to go on in the inside and the other one and you push. Okay. So you're turning. Carving
into the snow using the snow to like a rudder. Okay. I'm following. I'm following. All right. So
it's like leaning. It's like leaning. And the easy way to get an easy pivot turn is you plant that
pole on that side. Help drive and dig in that turn so you can turn sharper. This is a huge method
using mogul races in particular. So you lean. Uh-huh. Now you have the stopping method.
So if you need to slow down, this is the pizza stop is the one the little kids use. It's like making
a snow plow. Right. You basically point your knees towards each other and press outwards
digging in the inside part of your skis. Right. But much like you do in turning, the carving part
is the hockey stop. This is the most effective stop. You have to whip your hips around and you dig
in on the outside of the ski and just stop sideways. It's also how you used to, to, you know,
spray people with snow. Okay. Of course. That's a priority. And then the fastest way to stop,
but it's not recommended. It's just to simply crash or bail. But the reason why crash is listed
on here. And this is a very important part of skiing. Okay. If you feel like you're going to go
over, you go over, you bail because that's how you get hurt is by trying to fight the fall.
Oh, I thought you were talking like a cliff. No, no, no, no, no, no, not a cliff.
Right. Like if you're going down a slope and you feel like you're going to fall down,
it's better to fall down than it is to fight it and end up contorting your knee or twisting
something up. See, like that's different than what I heard. No, you don't go off a cliff.
That's what you sound hurt yourself. Like hurt yourself so you don't go off cliff.
Very important. I was about to say, look, I know that we're making all this sport knowledge up
off the top of our heads. We're king improvisers of sport pretending like we know we're doing.
I was about to say that probably is bad advice for all those people that are going to rush out
and ski. No, no, no, no. Of course. So go and stop or important steering and carving as you go
and stop. That's our other podcast. Stop my bad, not fan team. Exactly. That's it. That's it.
But in downhill races, each athlete only gets one run to achieve the fastest time.
They do not get a practice run. Only one skier is on the course at one time. Okay. And they are
timed from the moment they go through the start gate wand until they cross the finish line.
Okay. So it's like an indicator that marks when you cross that line and then it's go as
fast as you can get down. There are penalties. If you miss the gate, you go on the wrong side
and things like that can happen. Again, 80 miles per hour, you literally have a helmet on
and a skin tight suit. You can get torn up if you go down. Some of these surfaces are very,
very smooth. Some can get icy judging the train and knowing the train and the weather is huge
for knowing your ski slope. Because if it's sunny out, the surface of the snow will melt and
it will be more heavy snow. So you'll be able to dig in a little bit better. But if it was sunny
and it was melty and it's a little bit warmer and it's the night during night it gets colder,
you'll get a layer of ice on top which will make it slicker. You could skid out so you can't
necessarily go as fast. Otherwise, you'll lose control and slide out. Okay. And then if it's
fresh powder, that's what skiers love. That's the good shit. That's the good stuff. You know,
it's powder. It's good for you. What? I don't know. Are you? He's good for you.
Yes. He's the fresh powder. If you've seen my TikTok, that's fresh powder for you.
What? You heard it your first time blowing cocaine on his TikTok run now before it gets
taken down. He's got the freshest powder. The cleanest powder. Anyway, to win in the sport of
skiing, it's all based on time. So the fastest one to the to the bottom to cross the finish line
can be determined by hundreds of a second. Margin of air is minuscule. It's all about speed.
It's all about turn. It's all about path and technique. And that's how you win at skiing.
That's it. But skiing is also not just for racing. Uh oh. You can do it recreationally. You
can do it for fun. You can do different events like cross country for travel and traversing.
I can. You can. Wow. You can also do freestyle skiing where you do tricks and cool stuff like
that and do half pipe. My brother has done that too. And he broke his heel. So do it with caution.
Be smart. Know what you're doing. Uh huh. But uh yeah, it's a lot of fun. I love skiing. I grew up
with it. Been around it my whole life. I haven't skied in years since my knee surgeries, but I want
to get back to it. Okay. Well, it'll never happen again. Oh, that's sad. How could you do this?
It'll happen whenever you make it happen. You want to know it's really fun though about skiing?
What's up? It's more accessible than people think. Everybody thinks that skiing is only done
on snow. You can go and ski on sand. You can ski on grass. If you have a slope big enough,
there are devices nowadays skis that are designed for being used on those different surfaces. Uh huh.
And they're actually indoor training facilities that a lot of Olympic athletes use that are
that do skiing. Basically, when there's no snow around, when it's not, uh, ski season,
when snow is not on the ground, when the mountains aren't primed for, you know, the slopes. Okay.
There are places you can go to ski on different surfaces indoors. And it's really interesting.
And then there's water skiing, which we didn't even talk about because that wasn't the focus of
this, but water skiing is also sport. That's true. And you're pulled by boat. There's actually
paroscene too, where you're pulled by or kite skiing. There's like so many variants of skiing
where you can just have something pull you. Scajorine is a sport where you're pulled by a horse.
I don't know if that's a fun one. My brother did it. He actually won his first competition.
What is your brother not done? This is a good question. My brother did this weird obscure thing that
was only done in 3000 BC. He's done it. He's done it all. Hey, if my brother finds something
fascinating, he definitely tries it out at least once, which is really aspiring. You know what,
I do for fun. I look up new hard drive specs because that's my life right now. Wait, really?
Is he still having issues with the drive? No, I'm not, but I'm trying to stay on the lookout
for future developments. They're on the way with a 61 terabyte SSD. Let me tell you this thing.
They can't even make hard drives that big. They already passed because there's a 32 terabyte SSD,
31, actually, 30.72 actually is what it really is. Why aren't they at round numbers?
Because there's a difference between the number of bits that are there and the actual
usable number of bytes. So it's like, you know, mark, would you want to want to go skiing
sometimes? There's Scott. No. What? Did you hear all the people that died? Every person that's
ever skied died. That's right here. That's what I remember. Are you saying I'm actually dead
and that the audience was right when I disappeared from your channel? I actually died. We did.
People legitimately thought I died. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's because I
went to miss you. I guess Mark really didn't care about me. No, miss you. Big guy. If I didn't
care, why would I say that? Why would I say that? Come on. Think. Think. Well, you can't think
because you're an AI model that I've built. And so am I. You'll never know the truth.
We already said at the beginning that this whole thing is a lie. Yeah, that's it.
But anyway, that's the skiing overview. I'm sure the person who accused me is going to yell at me
about how not thorough this was, but I don't care. That was very thorough. What more do they want to
primer? See, the thing about a primers, it's not a it's not a full college course on the thing.
This isn't getting started. Yeah. It gets you an introduction. But skiing did come before snowboarding.
Just just to be clear. Are we sure? Yes. Okay. The one board thing were sleds. But anyway,
thanks for listening and watching this episode. Hopefully you were watching it because
video is always great. Do that on Spotify if you haven't already. But you can check out our
merch store.gmfst.com. You know, if we sell enough of it, we can get new stuff. That sounds pretty
cool. Anything you want to add, Mark? Not even a little bit. All right. Well, check us out on
socials. You know, where Mark is, Markiplier. I'm Tyler Shide or a apocalypse owner score 12 most
places. But yeah, we'll see you in whatever the next episode is. Or whenever that is. Who knows?
Anymore. We could die on the ski slope. Keep those secuses flowing. See what happened when someone
made a good enough jacquoise who made an entire episode about them. Shout out to you. Whatever
the hell your name was. We don't remember. Well, insert their name if you can do so easily.
All right. Well, bye. Bye.