Hello and welcome to this very special edition of the Mono's podcast.
I am Jill Wagner, most will not be on this episode because this is somewhat of a gift
to him as he becomes a father.
As most of you know, he and his wife, Alex are about to become parents or depending on
when you're listening to this baby.
Oh, they have already made her arrival for this episode.
I compiled some pearls of fatherly wisdom from some well-known dads and also some well-wishes
from OSHA's family, my family and some friends of the podcast that said, I think all dads
and moms out there, anyone really will enjoy this episode.
So here we go.
Motion anyone who knows me knows that I often quote Scott Galloway.
He is an NYU professor and entrepreneur and also hosts one of my favorite podcasts besides
our own, the pivot podcast.
We joke that he is a friend of the pod who doesn't know that he is a friend of the pod.
Besides for talking tech and business news, Galloway often talks about being a father.
So I wanted to play a clip from an episode of Pivot in which he and co-host Kara Swisher
answer some listener questions about parenthood.
This is a question from someone who is debating whether or not she and her husband should
have kids.
And here's part of Galloway's answer.
I did not want to have kids.
I was forced to.
I was forced to because my girlfriend who is, you know, just scores higher on a balance
score card and every dimension than me and I didn't want to lose her said, I'm having
kids.
So we had kids.
She is better than you, but go ahead.
And I recognize that.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Having kids for me has checked a box, an indelible link that I didn't even know the box existed.
I did not love my children when they first showed up.
I fell in love with them.
And now it is hands down, hands down, the most joyous thing of my life every time, every
time I turn the corner, my block or my house is, you know that rush of excitement when
you, you know, when you just fall in love with someone or you're seeing friends from
college for the first time in 10 years, those moments happen so irregularly where you
have that moment of excitement and suspicion.
I get that every time.
I come up to the door to my house.
I can't wait to see my kids.
I really feel that.
I feel it every day when my daughter gets off the bus from school and I get this big hug
from her.
There is nothing better for my son who is much younger.
It is that smile first thing in the morning.
It's everything.
All right.
Now to two of my other favorites, Jerry Seinfeld and Bravo is Andy Cohen.
This exchange is from a couple of years ago when Andy first became a dad to his son
Benjamin.
He is interviewing Jerry Seinfeld on Radio Andy on Sirius XM.
As a new dad, is there any advice you could give me about, obviously, my kid is not going
to have a childhood that's similar to my childhood.
Times have changed, um, well, any, any advice you have for me about keeping this kid grounded.
As you know, I have advice on everything.
Yes, you do.
Here's my advice.
Um, give, this is the one thing you don't want to give your kid that the kid needs.
And just bear this in mind.
A little neglect, a little neglect, smart.
Let him be.
Yeah.
Let him be.
Let him figure it out.
Let him fail.
Let him have pain.
Let him struggle.
Let us, like, not be so great.
That's my advice.
And, and don't worry.
Don't, and here's another thing.
Don't ask people for advice.
I'm, I'm the hell with it.
I loved this because even though you cannot help but laugh any time Jerry Seinfeld speaks,
there really is a lot of truth in it.
We want to fix everything for our kids.
We never want to let them suffer.
But kids are just like adults and we learn more from our failures than our successes.
And so as hard as it is, not to intervene, sometimes you do have to just let kids fail.
All right.
This next clip is from Ryan Holiday, philosopher, bestselling author of The Daily Stoic,
which most interviewed him about.
Holiday also wrote the book and hosts the podcast The Daily Dad,
which draws from ancient philosophy and modern psychology to give quick snippets
of advice for parents.
I really had a hard time picking from all of his wisdom,
but this next clip really resonated with me.
Perhaps because I am dealing with two kids under five years old,
which is a lot.
You already blew up your life.
Yes, it's not good to be late.
Yes, you have places to go.
You've got emails to respond to.
You were hoping to get in a workout today.
You were hoping to have a few minutes to relax on the couch.
So yeah, when your kid is dragging their feet,
getting ready when they ask for another drink of water, another story,
when they sneak out of their bedroom after you've already tucked them in,
when you have to go back to the house because they forgot something.
It's frustrating, but here's what you have to remind yourself.
You already blew up your life.
You're already a mess.
You're already tired.
You've already been late a million times.
You're so far behind on email that you'll never catch up.
So stop stressing and give your kids what they need.
Slow down.
Don't rush them.
Don't neglect them.
They need an extra hug if they want you to stay with them till they fall asleep.
You can afford it.
Just put it on your tab.
In the end, you'll remember the times you stuck around to make sure school drop off
went well, not that you were the first one to arrive at the meeting.
Your relationship will be built solidly around the fact that you always made the
necessary time for them, not that you conquered your daily to-do list.
You chose to have kids, which means you accepted things being a mess.
But you don't have to accept is putting them second to things that don't matter.
Definitely puts things into perspective.
And now to a quick clip from Girl Dad, Chris Rock.
He is chatting with radio host Angie Martinez talking about what he's like as a dad.
I'm home more than most dads.
I mean, like, I'm home.
You can call me at any time.
I'm there at any time, you know.
That's all parent and 89% of being a parent is just attendance.
It's so true.
You're doing literally just, are you there?
Can I find you?
Yeah.
Can I reach you?
Can I reach you?
Can I find you?
That is like 89%.
And the rest is just, you know, and isn't it terrible that people just mess that part
up?
It's the easiest part to get right.
It's like, okay, just be there.
Did you come from that?
I came from that.
Okay, from that.
So it's a learned thing.
Yeah, so it's definitely, yeah, I had a really great dad, so it's definitely a learned
thing.
And you got to embrace it.
I love it.
It's like my, it's not even a job.
I love it.
And now most just some other familiar voices.
These are real friends of the pod and real friends of yours.
I ask them all for some advice, family, traditions, things that may have surprised them
about parenthood or that they have learned about parenthood.
I want to start with CBS News correspondent Vlad Duthier.
He's our old colleague from CBS News.
He and his wife just had a daughter, Celine.
So take a listen.
Hey, Mosh.
Hey, Alex.
I just want to say, Mazel Tov, to you both, I am so thrilled that you're going to be parents
Mosh.
You're going to be an incredible father.
If there's one thing that I learned through this process, Celine came into our world seven
months ago, is that your capacity for love, you will not realize how infinite it is once
that baby comes into your life.
I wish you all the very best.
I'm so thrilled for you.
Congratulations.
Next up is Carlos Whitaker.
He is a motivational speaker and author of the book, How To Human.
Mosh, you've also interviewed him on the Monew's podcast.
Hey, Mosh.
So one of my favorite family traditions that we do here in the Whitaker household is
called the birthday string.
This is something that we do for the kids.
We started with the kids, but now let's move to the parents as well.
Every single morning of your birthday, you wake up and there's a string tied to your
bed post, which has been placed there the night before by one of these siblings or one
of the parents.
We take the string and we just slowly start wrapping it all around the house.
It goes over the chandeliers and the string goes out the front door and around the
banister back into the basement.
It looks like a spider web when they've woken up and it's the first thing in the morning
they get up and they follow the string and on the string are placed little presents.
We've been doing this for 17 years in my house and it's just so fun.
They're tiny little presents, not their big presents, just smaller presents like a box
of candy or whatever it is.
It's just a great way to start our mornings off on our birthday morning.
I just turned 50 and I had a birthday string and it is just so much fun.
That's something that we love to do.
I will also say that my favorite parenting advice that I was given and also that I give
a lot of people because I've seen it become true is realize this.
You will not be the same parent that you are going to be on day one of becoming a father.
Then on day 375 you're going to be a different father.
On day 977 you're going to be a different father.
Give yourself grace to change and also to change your mind.
Also let your kids know that not only are you a different parent parenting them, so I've
got three kids.
My 17 year old now has completely different rules than my 17 year old four years ago.
Why?
Well, because I'm different and the 17 year old is different and they're living in a different
time.
Just give yourself grace to know you're going to change.
Rules are going to change and all of this is beneficial for the kid that you're raising
because they don't want you to be the same as you were way back then.
All right.
There you go.
Happy becoming a dad day.
Appreciate you, man.
That is all such great insight.
Next up, Jeff Dowler, longtime radio and podcast host and also one of the producers of our
Mo news podcast.
Hey, Moch.
It's Jeff dollar father to Ellie soon to be father to dollar baby number two coming in
February and I am by no means an expert in parenting or fatherhood, but I have learned
a lot about myself mainly.
I want to share some of that with you.
My number one piece of parenting advice is do not listen to anyone if it doesn't feel
right to you.
Everybody has an opinion and everybody has an idea and everybody has a thought on how
to raise your children right, but none of them will be perfect for you and your family
unless you're feeling it in your heart and your soul.
My number one survival tip is take care of Alex.
Take care of your wife.
Make sure that she has everything that she needs and more.
Make sure that she's getting sleep.
Make sure that she's keeping her postpartum mental health and check.
Make sure that you are staying a good partner to her and in a couple of months you guys
are all going to be one big happy family with a happy mom and a happy baby and a happy
Moch.
We're not a big tradition or ritual family, but there is something that Callie has done
every single night that Ellie has been on this earth.
She does it right before Ellie goes to bed.
She gives Ellie a hug and she says you are strong, you are brave, you are kind and you
always belong here.
That phrase, those exact words in that order, I think I could live to be a hundred years
old and we'll tear up every time I hear Ellie say that because she says it now.
That's how she says, good night to us.
She'll say, good night mama, I love you, you're strong, you're brave, you're kind, you
always belong here and then she runs upstairs and it's the sweetest, most adorable thing
to see.
And it's also a great reminder and a great mantra for her to carry out into the world.
She'll never forget that phrase.
So find a phrase, find a mantra, find a lesson and start on day one because how cool will
it be for you to someday tell your kids that that phrase has been in their life every single
day of their lives and they'll get to pass it on to their kids.
Moj, I am so excited and so happy for you and Alex.
You are going to be the best parents on the planet.
I can't wait to see all the pictures.
I can't, cannot wait to hear you share stories of being a dad on the podcast.
Congratulations.
Okay, I'm officially tearing up.
Thank you Jeff Carlos Vlad for all of those amazing insights and Moj, I have often
talked on our podcast that I have won the lottery in terms of my own dad and my husband
who is such an incredible father to our two kids.
So here are some of their well wishes.
Amos, it's Mikey Jill's husband just wanted to say good luck and early congratulations
on baby O early family tradition that we always did and still do is family walks.
Us, the three or four of us together, whether the stroller or just going on walks, those
are things that we still do to this day and bring smiles to all our faces and you'll
create your own.
Fatherhood is hard, but the smile on your kids faces, the little giggles smile on Alex's
face, it makes it all worth it.
This parenting advice that I learned from my father and my father-in-law is just take
the time be there for them, whether it's an extra hug, an extra few minutes to help with
this, we'll help with that, be there and be present, try to keep your phone away and
know not easy for you and just be present and be there for them, that's all they want.
All right, you're going to be amazing father, you and Alex are going to be amazing parents
and good luck, congratulations, you got this.
Hey Moj, it's Warren, Jill's dad, congratulations on the coming birth of your daughter, I think
it's unbelievable, it's great and my first most important advice to be a successful father
is you've already accomplished that and that is to have a beautiful, caring, loving wife
like Alex, I'm sure she'll be a to unbelievable mother, so right away you passed the first
test, the other thing is time, all right, don't be afraid to go in there and change that
diaper, man, it's horrible, but you know what, you get used to it and go feeding, don't
fake like you're sleeping, I did it all the time and they know, so get in there, be a partnership
with her, Alex and be there, don't be one of these guys, I have friends that have said
I don't know what happened, I don't know where the time went, the kids grew up, but walking
and talking and I wasn't there and you don't want that and especially when they get all
the, you know, always say yes when all they want from their dad was their time, all they
want from you is to give them your time, you don't have to give them money, you don't have
to give them gifts, just be there and ever say no to a request, okay, I'm sure you'll
be a terrific father, looking forward to hearing the war stories, okay, congratulations again
and only the best here, bye bye.
I can attest my dad never says no if I ask for a ride, he actually used to drive me into
the city for work at four in the morning and you know what, we had some great talks and
a lot of laughs.
Now before we get to your wonderful family quickly, I wanted to give you a little advice
as I am going through all of this just a few months and a few years ahead of you and
Alex to start as my husband said and I think this may have come from my mom, everything
is a phase, really important as you're just in the thick of it.
Another piece of advice from my mom, a former school teacher, kids thrive on structure, it's
something that we try to stick to in my family and it really seems to be working and this
advice is for me within that structure, try to say yes unless something is not safe
for real reason to say no, say yes to their silly, crazy ideas as tired as you may be.
Also try your best not to compare yourself to other parents, your daughter to other kids.
As Jeff mentioned, take all of this advice, use it or lose it and just do what you want.
You're the parents and you know it is best for your family, love your daughter and that
really is enough.
And with that here are some words from your mom, dad, brother and Alex.
Good day to all, I'm Debbie Moshe's mom and a very excited grandma to be.
Moshe, with your loving heart, beautiful mind, you will provide an abundance, love, protection,
education to baby girl, oh, this will all come natural.
You're on your way to take the most exciting and endless trip ever.
Expect some twists and turns but remain steady and confident.
The personal advice to you, if you ever have any doubts, questions and require any answers,
most do not use the internet, go ahead and just ask Alex.
Together you will be the best parents and I can't wait to watch you together.
Today and for 120, I wish you Alex and this baby girl, oh, mazal health and happiness.
May this baby girl, oh, provide you a lifetime of pride, which you have showered on myself
and your abba.
I love you so much and am thankful to be your daughter's grandma.
Mr. Moshe, you ought to be a father.
Fatherhood is a big responsibility.
Be sure to set limit, spend quality time with your kids, be a good role model, raise
your kids, make meal time, your family time.
Always make sure to feed your kids before you eat.
Do not be afraid to make mistakes you learn from your failure than your success.
Expect stress becoming a parent.
It is your responsibility to be your child provider, it's like a commander in the army.
You must keep your tradition and teach these to your kids, teach your children and not
to be afraid from others, teach them to be helpful and respect to all others, good luck
sir.
Hi everyone, this is Yoni, Moshe's little brother.
I have three kids, Aiden is 13, Mary is almost three and Maya is one.
Moshe, I'm so excited to see you finally become a father.
I know that this is something that you have wanted for a very long time and you will
be great.
Of course we went through some interesting experiences together as kids, tagging along
with Abana's various errands every weekend.
It definitely wasn't a typical childhood, but it taught us a lot.
To be independent, find fun wherever you go, and most important, grow our bond as brothers.
I have found my own approach to fatherhood, as I am sure you will too.
Just be sure to find a friendly dry cleaner in Brooklyn if you are ever in a bind and need
child care.
Mazalto Moshe, I love you.
Hi Mo, it's Al.
I just want to thank you for being the best soon to be dead and ava ever.
You have taken such incredible care of both of us, this entire pregnancy, while working
a full-time job.
You and I joke that you have become now, what am I now, 39 weeks.
You have become my full-on nurse's aid.
I could barely, barely even reach down to pick up food that I dropped on the floor.
It is getting that hard for me, but you have made it so much more comfortable and easy.
I just know you are going to be the best dad, best ava to our baby girl.
You are going to teach her everything you know, which is a lot.
I know this audience knows how smart and wise you are.
I am just so lucky to have this next chapter with you.
We have the best time dating, the best time being married, traveling, and now we get to
welcome this beautiful baby girl into our arms and just love her and teach her and just
grow with her.
You and I are going to grow with her, so I just can't wait for this next chapter together.
I adore you, I love you, and I know you are going to be the best dad, ava ever.
All right, I cannot top that.
Most best of luck to you and Alex on this next chapter, I know you are both going to be
unbelievable parents and I cannot wait to meet baby O and now there is just one more
person who wants to wish you luck as you head off to fatherhood.
Good luck, most of Alex having a baby.
That of course is my daughter, who thanks everyone for listening to the Monews podcast
at the end of each episode.
And with that, thank you all for listening to this special edition.
See you next time.