80: The art of appreciation

Hello my beautiful people and welcome back to the Mowans podcast. I'm currently recording this on a Tuesday afternoon I just did my first brain scan and if you listen to last week's episode I told you a bunch about that, but it was such a fun experience and I can't freakin wait I have my second scan tomorrow and then I don't have my evaluation until the middle of May just because I have a bunch of stuff going on Which I'm gonna tie that into why I'm making this episode. I'm about to enter a phase of my life Where I get super overwhelmed and I have a lot going on and I have all these incredible amazing Things coming up and opportunities and places that I'm going Things that I'm doing with the people that I love and I've learned You know after doing self-reflection, which also has a lot to do with last week's episode That when I'm doing all of these things I get a tend to fall into a Worse mental state, which I know doesn't really add up for a lot of people but in my head The more extroverted I'm forced to be and the more social I have to be the harder time I have I don't know how to explain it, but I think it's just because I gain energy from when I'm alone and It's complicated because I also love doing things with people that I love but it just drains me faster More of the story the point here is I have seen a pattern within myself that when I Have months where I'm go go go go go It tends to be harder for me to be extremely happy Naturally and that's not to say I'm not happy again Let me just emphasize the fact that I'm living my dream and I'm so grateful for everything that I get the chance to do But I don't really have control over what it does to my brain and how it makes me feel emotionally, but this weekend I Well this week I have my brain scan and then I have To take some prom pictures on Friday And then I have a festival all weekend and then I have a graduation party and then next week I'm in Cayman Islands, which is going to be so fun. I'm actually so excited and then I have I Don't know why I'm blanking a bunch of stuff coming up and I'm gonna be all over the place and I'm gonna be a little bit exhausted and The one thing that I've also learned has helped me through all of these episodes of just kind of having a lot going on is Appreciation and that's something I touch on in every single episode, but I don't really ever give it a lot of time or its own moment to shine, but I can confidently say that being appreciative of everything we have going on in our lives and everyone that we have around us in our lives is the key to Living a happier life like there's a few things. I would say keeping an open mind is one and we've done an episode on that And then being appreciative and being grateful and I don't know if the only reason I feel like this And I don't think it's just because of this. I think this is something universal, but especially I especially believe that I feel this way because when I was younger Me and my boyfriend that's so weird to say still we're talking about this in the car We're like what is the one thing that your parents drilled in you from your childhood till now like what was the one thing? That you are always going to think of when you think of them and my dad had two things that he reminded me every single Day it felt like the first one was don't be stupid anytime I would leave the house to go to a school or to a party or to go hang out with a boy or a friend Whatever it was my dad would say don't be stupid And now I think about that 24-7. Sorry abyada hold on I Think about that 24-7 with everything I do in my life I ask myself is this stupid or is this something my dad would approve of and the second thing that he always told me was to be appreciative to say thank you to Live in the moment like that kind of thing to just appreciate the life that we get to live because We often forget how blessed we truly are if you have Food on your plate if your parents are happy and healthy if you have siblings that you have a relationship with if you have friends that you can call if you need something if you have Somewhere to go to the bathroom if you have a roof over your head if you can afford to Buy something from a store that you like you have it 10 million times better than you will ever realize And I don't mean to say like you would talk to you. I'm talking to myself too. We get caught up There are shitty things. There are things going on that sometimes suck But when you take a really big step back and you view yourself from a bird's eye view from a further away perspective We have it really good if you have the access to be able to be on a listening device Listening to this podcast through Spotify where you're probably paying a monthly membership or Apple podcast same idea you have it good we have it great we are lucky and When we learn to focus on that and remember that It makes life enjoyable for not only just us but everyone around us too there is so much value to being appreciative and I Was actually kind kind of trying to do a little bit of research before I started this episode But then my phone died and I gave up on it But there's a Harvard study that proves that being appreciative psychologically makes you happier and I didn't even read the details of it because that's all I needed to know I'm like that is my proof in the pudding. That's the truth and as much as I could sit here and tell you about what all of these studies say and give you the facts I want to give it to you from a personal experience here because as I've said before and I think in a lot of episodes just this year in general gratitude and appreciation have been two of my biggest goals and When I tell you they've kind of shifted the way that I've seen the world I really do mean that from the bottom of my heart and I don't just mean bringing appreciative Can I speak literally no, I don't just mean being appreciative of Things like when someone does something nice for you or When you get to go somewhere like yes, of course be appreciative of those things But I mean down to the nitty gritty. I mean when you're driving and you get an extra green light Take a moment to notice that and to be aware of that. I was watching this TikTok the other day of some guy he did a seven day no complaining challenge and He said in the beginning in the video that he didn't think he was someone who complained often he never viewed himself as someone who was a complainer and then he did this challenge and When you do a challenge like that any kind of challenge you're forced to be aware of the things that you say and the things that you think and he was like I was complaining that I got a red light and He was just frustrated because of course you're gonna get red lights that shouldn't be something that should even take up space or have any impact on your energy or your mood and I thought it was really cool and it was something that I wanted to do and and just recording this podcast reminded me that I said I wanted to do that But I think I'm going to because we complain about a lot of crap even just waking up and being like oh, I'm so tired or Oh, I really don't want to do that today or I have to do this or oh my god I got to go to the gym or it's so hot outside or cold outside or the weather so bad We're always complaining. It's almost a second nature for us and I think that I don't know I blame society for everything because I think society is to blame for most things, but We've just been you know given this idea that we're never we it's never good enough. We're never gonna be happy We're never gonna be satisfied. We're never gonna be completely fulfilled But I think the reality is that we can be and the first step in doing that is just being aware of What it is that you're complaining about and take a step back and ask yourself it why why? Is this something that I really need to be letting impact my mind energy feelings emotions? Or is this just something that I'm doing on autopilot? Am I complaining about things for absolutely no reason because I've been complaining about them or hearing people complain about these things since I was little Quick intermission I haven't told you guys about this before but I'm really excited to do so because I've been using it and I'm so freaking pumped When we do our laundry 91% of those massive jugs that it comes in end up in landfills or in ocean and Honestly, it's hurting our earth. It's killing our earth and what we want to do is take care of our earth So I've been using earth breeze laundry detergent. It's eco sheets. 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I feel like I'm doing good and honestly, I just enjoy doing my laundry I don't know why it's been more fun Don't take my word for it though because you can get a hundred percent risk free a hundred percent Satisfaction guarantee emphasis on the hundred percent apparently and if you don't like it if it doesn't work Earth Breeze is gonna give you a full refund no questions asked So switch from the old-fashioned go to something new right now All of you guys can subscribe to earth breeze and save 40% off. Yes 40% off earth breeze Dot-com slash moments to get started one more time. That's earth breeze dot com slash moments for 40% off Okay, enjoy try it out. That should make things a lot more clear for you I I really have been doing my best to notice this and I still don't think I'm fully aware of it But we're starting somewhere and we're getting somewhere with it, too. I don't want to complain. I don't want to complain about anything That being said again, we're human. We're going to go through rough patches There are going to be things to legitimately complain about sometimes and that's okay But just make sure you're complaining about something worthy of complaining about You're allowed to rant like I'm not gonna sit here and tell you to be this So grateful bubbly rainbows and unicorns type of person and never be sad and never be angry a day in your life We're all humans. We have these feelings and emotions that are going to come through us and Sometimes they're unavoidable. I mean, I'm sure they're avoidable, but I don't think they're avoidable in In the sense that you're not faking it. Does that make any sense? What am I saying here? And just let the things come and let them pass Don't dwell on the things that are making you angry or upset and don't dwell on the stupid things that are making you angry or upset you know feel your emotions, but then let them pass and When you go through those phases, I think this is when the art of appreciation becomes the most valuable actually because every time we come out of a funk or we're in a funk or a bad state in our lives bad week on your period whatever it may be you're going to come out of that learning a lesson and I Do feel as though this episode is a little bit repetitive just because gosh, I'm the most repetitive person of all time But it's because this thing this is valuable and everything ties together. So even if I'm doing a podcast on Body image. It's probably going to have a lot of the same points reminders and advice as a podcast on This for example most things tie together somehow when it comes to the mind and the way that we perceive the world and the way that we feel Because it's all string together and Sometimes you just need to pour a little bit more energy into one thing to make you feel better about another thing Right pouring energy into appreciating your body is going to make you love yourself more and pouring appreciation into your life in general Is going to make you love your life more? Once again, it's a miracle that you are alive and I don't ever want you to doubt for a second that you're not meant to be here and Whenever I do find myself in a really low place or just one of those moods or or mindsets where I Don't feel I have a purpose or I'm really overwhelmed and I feel behind everyone and everything I Simply remind myself that it's a miracle that I'm here I know I'm supposed to be here and even if I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to be here for right now That doesn't matter because I know that the purpose is there and I know that it'll find its way to me when it's supposed to because If you really look back, it hasn't failed you yet. You've made it this far you've made it through everything that you've already made it through and Think about all the good memories and everything you've been able to do an experience in between There is more good to come and great things are going to happen for you and they're going to come to you And it gets easier to believe this when you look back and appreciate all the times that life has pulled through in the past And just to tie this back into last week's episode about self reflection If you reflect on your life You realize how many good things have happened for you and when we don't reflect We kind of don't realize how lucky we've had it or how many cool things we've got to do But when you can appreciate those and and know that they happened You can find this new kind of confidence and peace that that is going to continue to happen in your life You know what I'm saying picking up what I'm putting down And then I think I just want you to I Want you to appreciate the people in your life. I want you to Appreciate your family and I don't know if anyone is at the age listening to this where maybe let's say your relationship with your parents isn't that good because I've been there. I've been in that phase and I look back if I wish someone would have told me What I know now and that is simply that 99% of the time Your parents are looking out for you And I know that everyone's situation is different and and there are really really toxic parents out there who have not great intentions for their children but a High percentage of the time your parents are looking out for you And if someone told me that in high school when my mom wasn't letting me go to parties or hang out with the people that I wanted to hang out with I would have probably just looked at them and laughed in their face because I thought my mom just did not want me to win I thought she didn't want me to have friends or enjoy my life or be cool and popular because you know at the time That was what was the most important thing to me and I look back now and realize she probably saved my life in a lot of ways She knew exactly who I shouldn't be hanging around and she knew Exactly who I should keep around and she always encouraged me to keep my real friends around and wouldn't let me go do things with the people that she didn't trust Your parents are looking out for you. Your parents want to see you happy and they want to see you successful and they want to see you Make your dreams come true and they don't want to send you to hang out with people where they're going to be worried about you Being okay with your own life and with the law and with whatever it may be Sometimes it's hard to talk about these specific topics or high school because With all of us listening to this we all had different experiences in high school And we all have different relationships with our parents, which is why I'm trying to keep this somewhat general But I also think that it's hard to communicate with your parents in high school And I can say all these things to you and it might not change everything It might not completely change the way that you feel but I want you to just kind of start to become aware of What your parents are saying no to and really think about it as if you were their age and as if you had a kid Would you want them doing the things that you're asking them to let you do? I? Don't know it just helps when you put yourself in someone else's shoes Or you put yourself in their shoes and just see why it might stress them out and then that might be able to help you Ask them in a different way or communicate with them better Wherever you're at just know okay? Your parents want to see you when most of the time and I know it's hard to communicate with them And I know that it's hard to talk to them about a lot of different things But you got it okay Just take it one step at a time and don't get so angry at them and don't get so upset with them because one day they're going to be your best friends and You're gonna look back in and just wish that you were closer with them when you weren't because Sadly our time with our family and with our friends is always leading you know life is short and I don't want to be deep and all that but it's real and The more that we can appreciate the things while we have them the easier it will be When we don't have them anymore does that make any sense? I don't know what I'm talking about Quick little intermission. 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It's good stuff and it's worth it too So if you're looking for a simpler and cost effective supplement routine athletic greens is giving you a free one-year supply of vitamin D and five Free travel packs with your first purchase go to athletic greens calm slash moments That's athletic greens calm slash moments and check it out I genuinely love this stuff and if you follow me on TikTok, you know, I take it every morning back to the pond anyways, I also want you to Appreciate your friends and I don't just mean like for yourself thinking about how lucky you are to have your friends I mean physically show them your appreciation. Okay, be a good friend tell people you love them figure out what your friends and your family's love languages are and Supply to them like if you have the best friend who's love languages words of affirmation It takes two seconds out of your day to text her. Hey, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you I love you keep doing what you're doing and if you have a best friend who's love languages gift-giving and their favorite candy is Reese's Spend the $2 to buy them a Reese's at the store and bring it to them because what you'll do is Change the course of their day Make them feel better Build a relationship even stronger between you two and then hopefully they'll take that and they'll pay it forward We don't realize the impact that we have and we do one kind thing for someone and it doesn't have to be a stranger It can just be an act of kindness to a parent a grandparent a family member a friend paying it forward goes a long way and I Don't know it just helps us appreciate this life a little bit more and I think that simply we need to be kinder to each other It's as easy as that. It's not going to fix everything. It's not going to change everything but Everyone is out to get at one another right now and I can't be the only one that sees that or notices that we're all fighting over nothing For silly reasons. I mean I posted a TikTok about religion Oh, I think I talked about this on last week's episode about religion a few weeks ago now and people are still commenting on it and It's just frustrating because whether or not we agree on how we view religion There's a reason that we have freedom of religion We're supposed to have different opinions and view things different ways and it shouldn't cause this War between us and other people were all out to get one another and there's really no need for that There's no need to hate people who are different than you or don't like the same things as you or don't Do things the same way as you? That's the beauty of the world that we live in and honestly, that's the beauty of just Existing why would we like anything that makes us all the exact same? That's a really weird scary society black mirror episode that I don't want to experience so When it comes to that just appreciate your differences and you know I'm gonna tie that into the next thing that we need to appreciate and that is ourselves and that comes down to knowing your worth and knowing your value and Knowing that you deserve really good things and making sure that you keep your standards High for yourself. I don't think this was something I did. I said that I did and I No, let me figure this out. I I've always had high standards and that's why I don't Find myself in relationships often if ever until now, but you need to Value yourself enough that you are not going to Alter yourself for someone just so that they they like you and and I've said this a lot about friendships and temporary people but a hundred and ten percent More important when it comes to a relationship You cannot allow yourself to get into a relationship with someone if you aren't truly being yourself because I Don't think that will feel good. I don't think that will end well. I don't think that you deserve that You just need to simply be patient and you need to be the best version of yourself that you can be and you need to be confident in who you are you need to Appreciate all of your insecurities and all of the things that make you different and all of the things that you used to hate about yourself You need to learn to love them and you start doing that by just appreciating the fact that you are here That you exist that your uniqueness is your superpower that there is no one like you and When you shift that mindset from realizing, oh, there's no one like me. I'm never gonna be good enough to there's no one like me I have endless potential. I can do anything. I can be anything I am the only one that can do that because I am the only me a Whole lot changes in your life and again, that's not to say you're not gonna be insecure You're not gonna wake up and feel really ugly some days. I do often But I just kind of got to sit there and tell myself well this is part of that me thing, you know like this is part of my superpower, I guess and I don't know you just got to love yourself Through the ups and downs and everything along the way like you just got to Stop trying to change to fit a certain something and just start appreciating what it is that you have and Where it came from if you have your mom's nose appreciate the fact that that came from Generations and generations and generations from long long long ago. You know what I'm saying? Picking up what I'm putting down just love yourself enough to know your word and love yourself to know that You deserve someone who's going to treat you right? And he's going to take care of you and make you feel loved and make you feel safe and all the sudden I've been in a relationship for what almost two months and I'm ready to do a whole Relationship advice podcast episode Lexi chill out. I'm not all there yet, but I'm definitely in my sieve era I'm in my lover girl era and I don't know what to do about it It's weird as heck, but it's been really fun and it's given me I've had to learn a lot Genuinely I am really good with my routine. I love the way that I do things I am very very very independent in the sense that I Like to go to bed and read my book in journal and make TikToks, which sounds silly But it's an important aspect of my life You know, I like to do things alone go places alone and for a while in my life It didn't really have to think about anyone else's feelings or schedules when I would plan things or book things besides Maybe my family maybe lassette, but I had a lot more freedom and I don't mean that in a in a bad way, but I mean it in a good way now I have a boyfriend and I have to think about his plans and his schedule and his feelings and emotionally I get to have another person be a part of my life and I don't think that I ever Would have been ready for that if I didn't have control over my own emotions and my own life and I think that God finally Told me I was ready for a relationship Because I finally Figured out all the pieces of my own life if that makes sense and it's really cool And I'm still getting used to it, but I'm learning to enjoy Spending time or adding another person into my routine and into my life And I've kind of learned that it can be seamless which I never thought it really could and I'll deep dive more into this and Probably a month or so on an episode. Let me just let me not talk too soon But so far so good you guys are still keeping my secret which I love you for but I'm having really fun I'm having a really fun time with the soft launch and that's a blast, but quick little intermission I'm coming to you guys live from the airport with these ads right now I totally forgot to record them, but once again, I'm telling you about things that I love so I'm happy to do it I'm telling you about better help today and this podcast episode is sponsored by better help you guys know I love therapy I'm always going to therapy. I'm always talking about therapy and better help is online therapy where you get matched with therapist You can change your therapist at any time and it is the best thing that you can do if you want to talk to someone about anything And I recommend it very much. It's online. It's convenient It's flexible and it works for literally everyone So find more balance with better help and go to better help comm slash moments today and you'll get 10% off your first month That's better help h elp.com slash moments and yeah, you guys know the drill You deserve to take time for you and do things for you and prioritize yourself every once in a while So get to it. Just try it out if you haven't already point here is I Got a little off track what a shocker The point here is to love yourself and to love your life And if you were at a point in your life where you're hating it or where everything just feels wrong or you're really negative Or you're struggling with whatever it may be because we're all struggling with something What can you appreciate out of your situation? How can you just simply start being grateful? That's the only place you have to start it will change your life a hundred and ten percent I promise you like right? A list in your notes or on on the journal or say it out loud What do you have going on that you can get to that you get to appreciate? Get to not have to you know, there's a difference there I'm gonna kind of do this at leave this episode right here because I don't want it to be super long You get the point and when I talk too much I keep saying the same thing over and over again But just appreciate this life and know that we are all blessed to be here and then we have a roof over our heads and People in our lives that love us and we have good relationships and good friendships and yada yada yada We have everything that we could possibly need and that's how you need to start viewing the world because the more you appreciate what you have honestly I believe personally the more God or the universe or whoever it is You may believe in is going to provide for you because you are showing him that you are happy and grateful and content You're not sitting there asking him. Oh, where's this? I wanted that last week or where's this? I asked for that last year He's gonna be a little takes off I'd be a little petty I'd be a little passive aggressive too if someone was just complaining all the time when I'm trying to create this beautiful life for them at my own pace, you know, so take it all in and enjoy every second of it because we Don't have as much time on this earth as we maybe thought we did which is a scary thing to think about but it goes by fast Take it all in enjoy the roller coaster that it is and have fun with it. Okay. I love you Have the best week ever. I will talk to you soon. Bye