Hello my beautiful people and welcome back to the Mowans podcast. I'm currently recording this on a Tuesday afternoon
I just did my first brain scan and if you listen to last week's episode
I told you a bunch about that, but it was such a fun experience and I can't freakin wait
I have my second scan tomorrow and then I don't have my evaluation until the middle of May just because I have a bunch of stuff going on
Which I'm gonna tie that into why I'm making this episode. I'm about to enter a phase of my life
Where I get super overwhelmed and I have a lot going on and I have all these incredible amazing
Things coming up and opportunities and places that I'm going
Things that I'm doing with the people that I love and I've learned
You know after doing self-reflection, which also has a lot to do with last week's episode
That when I'm doing all of these things I get a
tend to fall into a
Worse mental state, which I know doesn't really add up for a lot of people but in my head
The more extroverted I'm forced to be and the more social I have to be the harder time I have
I don't know how to explain it, but I think it's just because I
gain energy from when I'm alone and
It's complicated because I also love doing things with people that I love but it just drains me faster
More of the story the point here is I have seen a pattern within myself that when I
Have months where I'm go go go go go
It tends to be harder for me to be extremely happy
Naturally and that's not to say I'm not happy again
Let me just emphasize the fact that I'm living my dream and I'm so grateful for everything that I get the chance to do
But I don't really have control over what it does to my brain and how it makes me feel
emotionally, but
this weekend I
Well this week I have my brain scan and then I have
To take some prom pictures on Friday
And then I have a festival all weekend and then I have a graduation party and then next week
I'm in Cayman Islands, which is going to be so fun. I'm actually so excited and then I have I
Don't know why I'm blanking a
bunch of stuff coming up and I'm gonna be all over the place and I'm gonna be a little bit exhausted and
The one thing that I've also learned has helped me through all of these episodes of just kind of having a lot going on is
Appreciation and that's something I touch on in every single episode, but I don't really ever give it a
lot of time or its own moment to shine, but I
can confidently say that being appreciative of everything we have going on in our lives and everyone that we have
around us in our lives is the key to
Living a happier life like there's a few things. I would say keeping an open mind is one and we've done an episode on that
And then being appreciative and being grateful and I don't know if the only reason I feel like this
And I don't think it's just because of this. I think this is something universal, but especially
I especially believe that I feel this way because when I was younger
Me and my boyfriend that's so weird to say still we're talking about this in the car
We're like what is the one thing that your parents drilled in you from your childhood till now like what was the one thing?
That you are always going to think of when you think of them and my dad had two things that he reminded me every single
Day it felt like the first one was don't be stupid anytime
I would leave the house to go to a school or to a party or to go hang out with a boy or a friend
Whatever it was my dad would say don't be stupid
And now I think about that 24-7. Sorry abyada
hold on I
Think about that 24-7 with everything I do in my life
I ask myself is this stupid or is this something my dad would approve of and the second thing that he always told me was to be
appreciative to say thank you to
Live in the moment like that kind of thing to just appreciate the life that we get to live because
We often forget how blessed we truly are if you have
Food on your plate if your parents are happy and healthy if you have
siblings that you have a relationship with if you have friends that you can call if you need something if you have
Somewhere to go to the bathroom if you have a roof over your head if you can afford to
Buy something from a store that you like you have it 10 million times better than you will ever realize
And I don't mean to say like you would talk to you. I'm talking to myself too. We get caught up
There are shitty things. There are things going on that sometimes suck
But when you take a really big step back and you view yourself from a bird's eye view from a further away perspective
We have it really good if you have the access to be able to be on a listening device
Listening to this podcast through Spotify where you're probably paying a monthly membership or Apple podcast same idea
you have it good we have it great we are lucky and
When we learn to focus on that and remember that
It makes life enjoyable for not only just us but everyone around us too
there is so much value to being appreciative and I
Was actually kind kind of trying to do a little bit of research before I started this episode
But then my phone died and I gave up on it
But there's a Harvard study that proves that being appreciative
psychologically makes you happier and I didn't even read the details of it because that's all I needed to know
I'm like that is my proof in the pudding. That's the truth and
as much as I could sit here and tell you about what all of these studies say and give you the facts I
want to give it to you from a personal
experience here because as
I've said before and I think in a lot of episodes just this year in general
gratitude and appreciation have been two of my biggest goals and
When I tell you they've kind of shifted the way that I've seen the world
I really do mean that from the bottom of my heart and I don't just mean bringing appreciative
Can I speak literally no, I don't just mean being appreciative of
Things like when someone does something nice for you or
When you get to go somewhere like yes, of course be appreciative of those things
But I mean down to the nitty gritty. I mean when you're driving and you get an extra green light
Take a moment to notice that and to be aware of that. I was watching this TikTok
the other day of some guy he did a seven day no complaining challenge and
He said in the beginning in the video that he didn't think he was someone who complained often
he never viewed himself as someone who was a complainer and
then he did this challenge and
When you do a challenge like that any kind of challenge you're forced to be aware of the things that you say and the things that you think
and he was like I was complaining that I got a red light and
He was just frustrated because of course you're gonna get red lights that shouldn't be something that should even take up space or
have any impact on your energy or your mood and
I thought it was really cool
and it was something that I wanted to do and and just recording this podcast reminded me that I said I wanted to do that
But I think I'm going to because we complain about a lot of crap even just waking up and being like oh, I'm so tired or
Oh, I really don't want to do that today or I have to do this or oh my god
I got to go to the gym or it's so hot outside or cold outside or the weather so bad
We're always complaining. It's almost a second nature for us and I think that I don't know I blame society for everything because I
think society is to blame for most things, but
We've just been you know given this idea that we're never we it's never good enough. We're never gonna be happy
We're never gonna be satisfied. We're never gonna be completely fulfilled
But I think the reality is that we can be and the first step in doing that is just being aware of
What it is that you're complaining about and take a step back and ask yourself it why why?
Is this something that I really need to be letting impact my mind energy feelings emotions?
Or is this just something that I'm doing on autopilot?
Am I complaining about things for absolutely no reason because I've been complaining about them or hearing people complain about these
things since I was little
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I I really have been doing my best to notice this and I still don't think I'm fully aware of it
But we're starting somewhere and we're getting somewhere with it, too. I don't want to complain. I don't want to complain about anything
That being said again, we're human. We're going to go through rough patches
There are going to be things to legitimately complain about sometimes and that's okay
But just make sure you're complaining about something worthy of complaining about
You're allowed to rant like I'm not gonna sit here and tell you to be this
So grateful bubbly rainbows and unicorns type of person and never be sad and never be angry a day in your life
We're all humans. We have these feelings and emotions that are going to come through us and
Sometimes they're unavoidable. I mean, I'm sure they're avoidable, but I don't think they're avoidable in
In the sense that you're not faking it. Does that make any sense? What am I saying here?
And just let the things come and let them pass
Don't dwell on the things that are making you angry or upset and don't dwell on the stupid things that are making you angry or upset
you know feel your emotions, but then let them pass and
When you go through those phases, I think this is when the art of appreciation becomes the most valuable actually because
every time we come out of a funk or we're in a funk or a
bad state in our lives bad week on your period whatever it may be
you're going to come out of that learning a lesson and I
Do feel as though this episode is a little bit repetitive just because gosh, I'm the most repetitive person of all time
But it's because this thing this is valuable and everything ties together. So even if I'm doing a podcast on
Body image. It's probably going to have a lot of the same points reminders and advice as a podcast on
This for example most things tie together somehow when it comes to the mind and the way that we perceive the world and the way that we feel
Because it's all string together and
Sometimes you just need to pour a little bit more energy into one thing to make you feel better about another thing
Right pouring energy into appreciating your body is going to make you love yourself more and pouring appreciation into your life in general
Is going to make you love your life more?
Once again, it's a miracle that you are alive and I don't ever want you to doubt for a second
that you're not meant to be here and
Whenever I do find myself in a really low place or just one of those moods or or mindsets where I
Don't feel I have a purpose or I'm really overwhelmed and I feel behind
everyone and everything I
Simply remind myself that it's a miracle that I'm here
I know I'm supposed to be here and even if I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to be here for right now
That doesn't matter because I know that the purpose is there and I know that it'll find its way to me when it's supposed to because
If you really look back, it hasn't failed you yet. You've made it this far
you've made it through everything that you've already made it through and
Think about all the good memories and everything you've been able to do an experience in between
There is more good to come and great things are going to happen for you and they're going to come to you
And it gets easier to believe this when you look back and appreciate all the times that life has pulled through in the past
And just to tie this back into last week's episode about self reflection
If you reflect on your life
You realize how many good things have happened for you and when we don't reflect
We kind of don't realize how lucky we've had it or how many cool things we've got to do
But when you can appreciate those and and know that they happened
You can find this new kind of confidence and peace that that is going to continue to happen in your life
You know what I'm saying picking up what I'm putting down
And then I think I just want you to I
Want you to appreciate the people in your life. I want you to
Appreciate your family and I don't know if anyone is at the age listening to this where maybe let's say your
relationship with your parents isn't that good because
I've been there. I've been in that phase and I look back if I wish someone would have told me
What I know now and that is simply that 99% of the time
Your parents are looking out for you
And I know that everyone's situation is different and and there are really really toxic parents out there who have not great intentions for their children
but a
High percentage of the time your parents are looking out for you
And if someone told me that in high school when my mom wasn't letting me go to parties or hang out with the people that I wanted to hang out with
I would have probably just looked at them and laughed in their face because I thought my mom just did not want me to win
I thought she didn't want me to have friends or enjoy my life or be cool and popular because you know at the time
That was what was the most important thing to me and I look back now and realize she probably saved my life in a lot of ways
She knew exactly who I shouldn't be hanging around and she knew
Exactly who I should keep around and she always encouraged me to keep my real friends around and wouldn't let me go do things with the people that she didn't trust
Your parents are looking out for you. Your parents want to see you happy and they want to see you successful and they want to see you
Make your dreams come true and they don't want to send you to hang out with people where they're going to be worried about you
Being okay with your own life and with the law and with whatever it may be
Sometimes it's hard to talk about these specific topics or high school because
With all of us listening to this we all had different experiences in high school
And we all have different relationships with our parents, which is why I'm trying to keep this somewhat general
But I also think that it's hard to communicate with your parents in high school
And I can say all these things to you and it might not change everything
It might not completely change the way that you feel but I want you to just kind of start to become aware of
What your parents are saying no to and really think about it as if you were their age and as if you had a kid
Would you want them doing the things that you're asking them to let you do? I?
Don't know it just helps when you put yourself in someone else's shoes
Or you put yourself in their shoes and just see why it might stress them out and then that might be able to help you
Ask them in a different way or communicate with them better
Wherever you're at just know okay?
Your parents want to see you when most of the time and I know it's hard to communicate with them
And I know that it's hard to talk to them about a lot of different things
But you got it okay
Just take it one step at a time and don't get so angry at them and don't get so upset with them because one day
they're going to be your best friends and
You're gonna look back in and just wish that you were closer with them
when you weren't because
Sadly our time with our family and with our friends is always leading
you know life is short and I don't want to be deep and all that but it's real and
The more that we can appreciate the things while we have them the easier it will be
When we don't have them anymore does that make any sense? I don't know what I'm talking about
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back to the pond
anyways, I also want you to
Appreciate your friends and I don't just mean like for yourself thinking about how lucky you are to have your friends
I mean physically show them your appreciation. Okay, be a good friend
tell people you love them figure out what your friends and your family's love languages are and
Supply to them like if you have the best friend who's love languages words of affirmation
It takes two seconds out of your day to text her. Hey, I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you
I love you keep doing what you're doing and if you have a
best friend who's love languages gift-giving and their favorite candy is Reese's
Spend the $2 to buy them a Reese's at the store and bring it to them because what you'll do is
Change the course of their day
Make them feel better
Build a relationship even stronger between you two and then hopefully they'll take that and they'll pay it forward
We don't realize the impact that we have and we do one kind thing for someone and it doesn't have to be a stranger
It can just be an act of kindness to a parent a grandparent a family member a friend
paying it forward goes a long way and I
Don't know it just helps us appreciate this life a little bit more and I think that simply we need to be kinder to each other
It's as easy as that. It's not going to fix everything. It's not going to change everything
but
Everyone is out to get at one another right now and I can't be the only one that sees that or notices that we're all fighting
over nothing
For silly reasons. I mean I posted a TikTok about religion
Oh, I think I talked about this on last week's episode about religion a few weeks ago now and people are still commenting on it
and
It's just frustrating because whether or not we agree on how we view religion
There's a reason that we have freedom of religion
We're supposed to have different opinions and view things different ways and it shouldn't cause this
War between us and other people were all out to get one another and there's really no need for that
There's no need to hate people who are different than you or don't like the same things as you or don't
Do things the same way as you?
That's the beauty of the world that we live in and honestly, that's the beauty of just
Existing why would we like anything that makes us all the exact same?
That's a really weird scary society black mirror episode that I don't want to experience
so
When it comes to that just appreciate your differences and you know
I'm gonna tie that into the next thing that we need to appreciate and that is ourselves
and that comes down to knowing your worth and knowing your value and
Knowing that you deserve really good things and making sure that you keep your standards
High for yourself. I don't think this was something I did. I said that I did and I
No, let me figure this out. I
I've always had high standards and that's why I don't
Find myself in relationships often if ever until now, but
you need to
Value yourself enough that you are not going to
Alter yourself for someone just so that they they like you and and I've said this a lot about friendships and temporary people
but a hundred and ten percent
More important when it comes to a relationship
You cannot allow yourself to get into a relationship with someone if you aren't truly being yourself because I
Don't think that will feel good. I don't think that will end well. I don't think that you deserve that
You just need to simply be patient and you need to be the best version of yourself that you can be and you need to be
confident in who you are you need to
Appreciate all of your insecurities and all of the things that make you different and all of the things that you used to hate about yourself
You need to learn to love them and you start doing that by just appreciating the fact that you are here
That you exist that your uniqueness is your superpower that there is no one like you and
When you shift that mindset from realizing, oh, there's no one like me. I'm never gonna be good enough to there's no one like me
I have endless potential. I can do anything. I can be anything
I am the only one that can do that because I am the only me a
Whole lot changes in your life and again, that's not to say you're not gonna be insecure
You're not gonna wake up and feel really ugly some days. I do often
But I just kind of got to sit there and tell myself well
this is part of that
me
thing, you know like this is part of my superpower, I guess and
I don't know you just got to love yourself
Through the ups and downs and everything along the way like you just got to
Stop trying to change to fit a certain something and just start appreciating what it is that you have and
Where it came from if you have your mom's nose appreciate the fact that that came from
Generations and generations and generations from long long long ago. You know what I'm saying?
Picking up what I'm putting down just love yourself enough to know your word and love yourself to know that
You deserve someone who's going to treat you right?
And he's going to take care of you and make you feel loved and make you feel safe and all the sudden
I've been in a relationship for what almost two months and I'm ready to do a whole
Relationship advice podcast episode Lexi chill out. I'm not all there yet, but I'm definitely in my sieve era
I'm in my lover girl era and I don't know what to do about it
It's weird as heck, but it's been really fun and it's given me
I've had to learn a lot
Genuinely I am really good with my routine. I love the way that I do things
I am very very very independent in the sense that I
Like to go to bed and read my book in journal and make TikToks, which sounds silly
But it's an important aspect of my life
You know, I like to do things alone go places alone and for a while in my life
It didn't really have to think about anyone else's feelings or schedules when I would plan things or book things besides
Maybe my family maybe lassette, but I had a lot more freedom
and I don't mean that in a in a bad way, but I mean it in a good way now I have a boyfriend and I have to think about
his plans and his schedule and his feelings and
emotionally I get to have another person be a part of my life and I don't think that I ever
Would have been ready for that if I didn't have
control over my own emotions and my own life and I think that God finally
Told me I was ready for a relationship
Because I finally
Figured out all the pieces of my own life if that makes sense and it's really cool
And I'm still getting used to it, but I'm learning to enjoy
Spending time or adding another person into my routine and into my life
And I've kind of learned that it can be seamless which I never thought it really could and I'll deep dive more into this and
Probably a month or so on an episode. Let me just let me not talk too soon
But so far so good you guys are still keeping my secret which I love you for but I'm having really fun
I'm having a really fun time with the soft launch and that's a blast, but quick little intermission
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point here is I
Got a little off track what a shocker
The point here is to love yourself and to love your life
And if you were at a point in your life where you're hating it or where everything just feels wrong or you're really negative
Or you're struggling with whatever it may be because we're all struggling with something
What can you appreciate out of your situation?
How can you just simply start being grateful?
That's the only place you have to start it will change your life a hundred and ten percent
I promise you like right?
A list in your notes or on on the journal or say it out loud
What do you have going on that you can get to that you get to appreciate?
Get to not have to you know, there's a difference there
I'm gonna kind of do this at leave this episode right here because I don't want it to be super long
You get the point and when I talk too much
I keep saying the same thing over and over again
But just appreciate this life and know that we are all blessed to be here
and then we have a roof over our heads and
People in our lives that love us and we have
good relationships and good friendships and yada yada yada
We have everything that we could possibly need and that's how you need to start viewing the world because the more you appreciate what you have honestly
I believe personally the more God or the universe or whoever it is
You may believe in is going to provide for you because you are showing him that you are happy and grateful and content
You're not sitting there asking him. Oh, where's this? I wanted that last week or where's this? I asked for that last year
He's gonna be a little takes off
I'd be a little petty
I'd be a little passive aggressive too if someone was just complaining all the time when I'm trying to create this beautiful life for them
at my own pace, you know, so take it all in and
enjoy every second of it because we
Don't have as much time on this earth as we maybe thought we did which is a scary thing to think about but it goes by fast
Take it all in enjoy the roller coaster that it is and have fun with it. Okay. I love you
Have the best week ever. I will talk to you soon. Bye