Dear Media IRL: Business Panel

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. A special thank you to ClearSTEM for being Dear Media's presenting sponsor. Alright, here we go. How's everybody doing? First, I want to thank all people coming out, you know, there's our first event doing this and I was just excited to see people actually show up, so thank you. Pull it off. Michael, you did this by the way, and we're all thankful to be here too. Well, I had some help. But really, this is incredible with you guys. It's incredible. You guys are so great. Thank you guys. Team effort, for sure. Okay, for this panel, it's obviously business focused, career focused. My intention is that no matter what stage of your career you're in or what stage of your business you're in, that there's some takeaway, something you guys can walk away with and apply to your own lives, your own businesses, your own careers. That's really kind of the antithesis of why Lauren and I even started the podcast was to figure out, you know, how to share what we've learned and what we continue to learn on the way with an audience that could potentially use it to up level their own life. So to begin without sharing the next great American novel, please briefly introduce yourselves. Nicole, I'm going to start with you. Hi, I am Nicole Walters of the Nicole Walters podcast. I have a show on USA Network and a book called Nothing Is Missing that is now available for pre-sale. Hi, you guys. I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for having me, Michael. I am Nicole and Boston. Michael's wife is better half. No, I'm just kidding. And I have this going to be confidential. It's a blog, a brand, a book and a podcast. My name is Pia. I have a podcast called Everything Is the Best. I have a clothing line called LPA that sells on Revolve. I have an olive oil soon to be cafe lifestyle company called Beren Sheedy Importing Co. And I am the CMO of my husband's company, Gia Cashman. I'm Sif. I'm the co-founder of Array and I have a podcast called The Dream Bigger podcast. Nice. Thank you, guys. Okay, Pia, I'm going to start with you. You've had what I would describe and maybe you'd feel the same way. In a eclectic career, you do a lot of different things. How would you advise young professionals or anyone who's looking to take the leap of faith and maybe pursue a different career path than they're currently in? There's no better way grow and practice grit, which I think is like an essential asset in everybody's life than change. I changed jobs when I lived in New York many times. I think everyone needs to work in the service industry at some point in your life. You have to work in hospitality to understand the human condition. But there is no reason why anybody can't make a change in any given point in time because I really think that is where you get to use all the life's yumminess to practice your grit and your grace. Yeah, I think one of the biggest things that I personally struggle with all the time to this day is people ask, you know, what do you do? What have you done in your career? And there's been so many different changes and so many things that don't map out to me maybe heading up a female-focused podcast company. That, you know, I think for the longest time we get put in these boxes where people, you know, they want you to do one thing and chase one career path. And I just don't think that's how the world works anymore. I think you can kind of pivot and change as your interests change as long as you continue to level up your skills and develop more professional relationships. Well, you see things happening. You're like, oh, this is a business opportunity. Yeah. Like traveling to Italy with my husband and realizing that it's impossible to get certain Sicilian goods in the US. Like, I'd be like, oh, I want to buy these ceramics that Italian guy would be like, I don't like to go to the UPS store or I don't go to FedEx or I don't want to work later. I don't want to do this. And I was like, okay, well, we need to see to buy a bunch of this shit and make it available in the US, you know, and then it's like all these little aha moments you have through as you live your life, you realize there are opportunities that you could fail. And if you're in your box, you don't see those moments. Yeah. And I love what you said about working in the service industry, Lauren, I don't know if you want to speak to that. But I think it's so important. Like so many people struggle to kind of find their passion in life and figure out what they want to do. And I think that's one of the more interesting ways to go about it. I mean, it makes you multifaceted. You're able to pick up on people's energy. You're able to finesse any situation because if you're at a bar, you're right in front of the person, you learn how to get outside yourself and you learn how to talk to all different walks of life. And you also have to multitask you have to be putting in their order and making sure things are firing right and picking up on if they need a drink or not. So there's a lot of skills that you can learn. And I also think what's so great about the service industry is that you're able to do what you like maybe during the day or night. So you have this ability to make a lot of money and learn all these valuable skills while you're working on something that you want to do during the day. So I think the service industry is fucking amazing. Nicole, this one's for you. Talk about somebody who's inspiring. Nicole, here we go. What piece of advice would you give professionals wanting to level up in their careers? Right? I know you work with a lot of different people. You've done a lot in your career. What is that maybe one to two pieces of foundational advice you tell people that seek out your coaching? I definitely think that the two things without fail are one, humble yourself and two, be bold and ask. So humility is something that I think a lot of us kind of get away from when it's like, oh my gosh, being humble means that I have to shrink and not be out there and I don't want people to think I'm trying to be a boss or that I'm fancy or whatever. But the truth is humility is just being willing to learn, being willing to say, what do I need to know? What are the gaps that need filled? And then being bold is being able to go ask the people who have those answers to help you fill that space. So I can't tell you how often so many people will tell me that, you know, gosh, I really wish someone so was my mentor. I really wish I could get this job at this place, but literally have never asked for it. Never asked for the deal, never pitched themselves. Like when I get bigger, when I get fancier, when I get, I mean, I used to weigh 100 pounds more and I used to tell myself, oh, when I get thinner, I'll be able to do things. And it's like, no, you know, I made my first million dollars when I was fat, you know, and I made, you know, more millions when I was smaller and I look cute both ways and I was still awesome both ways. And neither one of those changed anything about who I was. I just was bold enough to go for it. Woo. When I'm feeling down, I'm going to call you up. I'm going to keep you around, Nicole. Okay. Sif, there's a lot of aspiring entrepreneurs out here, people starting their businesses or thinking about starting a business. You've done an incredible job. You initially with a ray, I mean, what she's done, what niche have done with this company in a short period of time is nothing less than stellar. What piece of advice would you offer an individual wanting to start their own business? And in addition to that, what were maybe some of the early mistakes you guys made? So I think going off of what Pia said, I think that people shouldn't be afraid to be nimble and change across their career. So when we started array, I realized, so I started array when I was 29. And what I realized is that every single job that I had had up until that point led me to co-founding this business, every single failed thing that I did had taught me something that I was able to bring into array. So in terms of what I would recommend to get started is, I think number one is making sure you are fulfilled and have purpose behind what you do. Because I think when you have bad days and you just do when you're an entrepreneur, that purpose is the thing that gets you through. So that's number one. Number two is just do it. I think that people have this thing that they wait for perfection. And instead, something that I learned from actually my husband and co-founder, Nish, right there, he comes from tech. And what he has done. This is so cute. Do you see him? Does everybody see how absolutely drafts, niches. Amazing. Nish has been hitting the creatine in the gym and he is. He's looking hot. But something that he was a big proponent of coming from tech was that we launch fast and iterate. And I'm not talking about the ingestible product itself because we wanted to make sure that was perfect. But I'm talking about things like the branding, the messaging, even the website. Like the first iteration of our website was you guys. It was horrible. Like, Nish threw it up. It was Shopify template. Like, I can't even tell you, it's like embarrassing. However, we were scrappy. And I think that taking something to the market and making sure you have a minimum viable product is a really valuable thing to do because you get to communicate with your consumers, see what they're liking, what they're not liking, and you grow and iterate from there. So whatever idea that you guys do have, I think it's just worth pursuing. Because as you progress into your business, no one's going to be proud of that first version of that idea. Like, I'm sure you guys, when you started the podcast, it was always incredible. But no, but yeah. The first version, you know, it's not meant to be perfect. And so I just think that, like, if you've waited for perfection, it's, you've maybe waited a little too long. I'm going to stay on this because I think it's a, it's a topic that many find relevant and maybe Nicole kick it to you. Oh, you saying continuing on this topic? Yeah. So what I was going to say was, Oh my gosh, how many of us remember going to like fifth grade dance and looking at the outfit that we loved, right? Like, I cannot wait to wear this skirt. I'm going to look so hot. Like, I'm so excited. And then you look back on it now and it is so cringe. You're like, how on earth did I think that care bear sweatshirt would look good? Like, I look ridiculous, right? And I think a lot of that has to do with business, right? Like, at least you got out there and your memory in that moment was that it was the best time ever. And you felt so dang good. And you were so glad you showed up. And it's just a positive thing for you. And I think that you're completely right. As someone who worked in corporate America for 12 years, I've scaled businesses from 2 million to 200 million. I can tell you that it's supposed to be dynamic. The very last stage of your business is evaluating what went wrong, but you can't evaluate what went wrong if you never launched. So you have to do it. It's not oh, I'm afraid to do it. It's that no, it's dynamic. It's changing. Even McDonald's don't look the same. And it's because they're supposed to evolve. So it's important to get out there. So you know what to fix. I think if you're not cringing at yourself, you're just growing, right? Right. We just we have to continue to evolve. Like, I look at things like from a few years ago, like, what the hell was I thinking? And that's okay. Like, that's just the part of the process. 100% born. I think that you have to be okay too with the people in your life, allowing you to evolve. So I think so many people are not evolving because they're worried about what someone from high school thinks or what their co-worker thinks or what even their significant other thinks. If you're around people that are pissed off that you're disrupting yourself and evolving, those aren't the right people. Like, I don't want to be the same person I was a year ago. I think just constantly being able to evolve and surrounding yourself with people that allow you to do that is really important as well. I have a healthy marriage in that way where like, we push each other in like, my husband grew up without hot water and he got a really amazing job in Italy. And we got engaged and he was like, okay, we're moving to Italy. And I like went to the town and I just launched LPA and was like, my career is just getting started. He's like, we're gonna live in this town. And there was 400 people in the town. And I was like, what am I supposed to do all day? And he's like, we'll have babies and we'll cook. And I was like, whoa, like, we're misaligned here. Like, this is not what I want to do. I'll do that at 50. But I don't want to do that right now. And so he was willing to give up his job and moved to the US. And I was like, I think you're talented enough to start your own company. And he was like, that's crazy. Like, I like, that's reserved for a certain type of person. And I was like, you are that certain type of person. And now he just got like a big round of investment. He's opening up a store. He sells a Neiman Marcus. He's selling out on Mr. Porter. Like, we went to dinner the other night and like, three different guys were wearing his like, he'd crawl. It's just like to die for but his passion is so there. And he was so scared that he didn't know the business aspect and thought it was a certain person. And you just learn that along the way. Like, those are all things that you have to just teach yourself at some point. You don't need to be, I mean, you have spreadsheets Steve over here. So you're lucky with your husband because he's a numbers guy. But like, you can figure it out along the way. You don't have to have everything mapped out for you, you know? Yep, couldn't agree more. I'm going to speak a little bit to that later. Lauren, big question for you. How did you land such an incredibly handsome husband? Everyone wants to know. Just kidding. You're more handsome with the sunglasses, put them back on. Okay, but seriously, for the content creators out there looking to take their online presence and transition it into a brand that can be more than just compelling content. What would you advise individuals to think about? I think that if you're going to launch or do anything on social media, that you have to think of yourself as a brand to begin with. I see a lot of people just posting and trying to see what sticks and they're kind of sometimes making it all about them. But I think you should think of it like a brand. So run it like a brand, run it like a business. For me, like even from the beginning, like getting a bookkeeper that's super affordable and having the back and dialed out. So you're running something that's maybe really small, like a business. So when it does get bigger and bigger, you're sort of set up and you have that foundation. For just an example of what I'm saying is when I decided to launch the skinny confidential, I had all these iterations of what the skinny confidential was. So I wrote down, I want to do a product line, I want to do a book, I want to do some kind of show. I really wrote down all the different things it could be. But I didn't start with all the different things it could be. I started with one thing, which was the blog, the mothership. I really honed in on that. I did that seven days a week and it slowly sort of grew out. I call it like an upside down triangle. So you really, you want to run what you're launching like a brand from the very beginning. It's very important because it'll be easier as you grow to be able to have all these different ideas and evolve the idea. Anyone want to add to that? I can for sure because I mean, that's what I do in my company all the time. It's just work on the back end. But a lot of people don't realize that, you know, intentionality is what every single woman up here is talking about and Michael, every single one of us are saying that we didn't just throw things on the wall and see what would stick. We weren't out there just being consumers. We were also being creators. And you guys may not know this about Lauren, but like every single thing about her is truly meticulous, you know, like, and she is intentional and she is authentic in that way. And that is why she has a successful brand. You know, a lot of times we're trying to emulate what we see another person doing. And we say, oh, well, that person's doing that. So that's going to help me be successful. But it's also not sustainable. I don't know how many of us started off saying, Oh, TikTok's about dances. So we're all going to do dances, you know, like, TikTok's about my outfits. I'm going to do these outfit transition posts. Like, instead of worrying about what everyone else is doing, why don't you get on TikTok doing what you're doing? And then you become the trend, you know, if you look at my social, it's not beautifully merchandise, you know, like, Lawrence, it's not gorgeous, you know, I don't have color themes. Because I'm a hot mess. I cry and eat cheese in the parking lot at target. That is my ministry, you know what I mean? Like, but, you know, even though I don't like live hashtags and trends and all that, my people have found me and I have made multi millions from my brand. You don't need everyone, but you do need to be intentional. You know, I was walking around earlier and I had the pleasure of speaking to some of you out there. And, you know, people were asking questions about potentially how to start a podcast or a brand. And, you know, I sit in an interesting seat where I do a podcast with Lauren, obviously, but I also sit on the other side and see all the incoming shows. And what we are looking for as a company is individuals with a unique perspective that only they can have. I'm not looking for the next Nicole Walters or the next PR or the next SIF or the next Lauren, because that's been done and it's been done in an incredibly well way, right? I'm looking for the person that can only be authentically them. And I think that's also the only thing that's sustainable if you're going to create an online presence or brand. So, for people thinking about putting themselves out there and building something online, make sure that, you know, this work gets thrown around, but it's authentic to you and that only you can do it. Because if somebody can duplicate or if you follow to your point what someone else is doing, you're doing a second rate version of something that somebody has already done incredibly well. But what they can't duplicate is you and your individuality. So, I would harp on that. Okay. This is for the panel. What mistakes do you all wish you avoided in the early days of your brands or business? I think, you know, one of the things we have the benefit of having altogether up here is a lot of mistakes. I know I for sure do. And I think being able to share with the next generation of creators or entrepreneurs what those were so that they could potentially avoid them is interesting. Sif? I can speak to those because it's like here's top of mind. Track everything. Track where every, like if you're putting money into something, figure out what it's bringing you back. Again, got to thank my husband for this. Spreadsheets Steve right there. But like, really, we are in the habit of tracking everything. And I've talked to Michael about this before, but, you know, as a founder and I'm sure as you guys kind of watch companies be built, there is this like glamorization of raising money, which is great if you need it. But what's even cooler is if you can bring your company to profitability. Okay. And you get there through tracking things and just being really intentional about where you're spending your money. So, I think that this is something that's just less talked about because what's often talked about is like, brand raises x million dollars. Again, great. You know, we've done it. But what's even cooler is like understanding how you can actually make money and float your business. Yeah. Yeah. And we're, I can't press that enough to everybody. Like, you don't need to raise fucking $20 million because how are you going to give it back? Like, it's a crazy concept that got so glorified for so long. I would also say like we have made huge mistakes when it comes to our deals. You need to make sure that you get a lawyer who's doing your deals, that if you can't pay, if it's somebody you trust, you allow equity in your brand for this person and they're going to stick with you forever. So, I know that it gets so hard training and you're like, how am I supposed to make his lawyers are so expensive to borrow the money or take out a damn credit card, do whatever you can to protect yourself because that mistake will cost us millions of dollars. To reinforce, and the lawyers out there are going to love this. And expensive lawyers, not always a bad thing. If they're going to save you a bunch of money down the line or a bunch of headaches, spending the money upfront is way better than having the headache of having to clean something up in the end. All of us up here probably have plenty of experience with that. Learn. I operated from the beginning as a solo. I was, it was just me, I was blogging for three years. I was, you know, doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. And I didn't realize how important it is to have skills to be able to transition into an entrepreneur, which is building a team. I wished I had learned more about that before doing it. I wish also that I had even like studied a bunch of leadership books. I think I'm sort of like learning on the go. I mean, I've never had a team before. This is like a new thing in the last six years. And so I've really had to refine everything and learn. I think if you're out there in your solo, you're just working for yourself, it's important to just really ingest a lot of information, whether it's a podcast or a book on tape on how to lead a team. Because if you do want to build a brand, you are at some point going to have to lead other people. And for me, I think my problem, if anyone from my team is here, hi, Katie, is that I am a refiner and an editor. And I've realized that sometimes my refining and editing has a harsh delivery. So I've like learned how to alter that. And it's something that I'm constantly trying to work on. So definitely the transition between solo, preneur to entrepreneur has been the hardest challenge for me. You know, that's so good. When it comes to having a right people around, it's also cutting the people that don't serve you and doing it quickly. You've heard the phrase, higher, slow and fire fast. That's not just for employees. That's also for friends. That's also for spouses. You know, that's also for anyone who's not there to serve your purpose. I don't know about spouses, but keep going. I just say that I'm going through divorce. So, you know, I'm like, wish I'd done that a long time ago. But, but nevertheless, you know, it's so keep people around who aren't going to serve you. But the thing I was going to say that I see the most, especially with my influencer clients, you know, I've got people who are on housewife shows, things like that. And whenever I work with them, the number one thing that I am just screaming into there now is don't do free. And I know that sounds crazy because it's like, but what about like opportunities and deals or, you know, gifting things and all that? It's still not free if there is an intentional return on investment that you plan to get out of it. I can't tell you how many people are willing to lend their face, their time, and their brand to something without any consideration for what they're going to get back from it, or what their intention is to do with that material. So like, if you're going to appear somewhere, what are you going to do with that footage later? Are you going to just do a blog post? Are you planning on leveraging that as a Facebook ad? Like, what is the intention behind it? Because if not, you're just doing free, and you can do free all the way to bankruptcy. And when I first started my business, I was literally allergic to it. Like, if I hear the word, it like hives, itches, like, I want people to get used to paying me in full on time. And you want to act like that. Otherwise, you're just doing a hobby. It's not a business. Thank you. Speaking from the business side, a lot of digital creators out here, dare I say influencers, people working with brands like Oreyse, if this one's for you, from the brand side, what are you looking for when you work with creators, and how is a brand do you measure success? For us, we really look to partner with creators who genuinely love the brand. And Lauren, who's sitting right here, was one of the first creators we partnered with, because she loved our brand. She could speak to it authentically. It was not like a random one-off post. That's not what we're after. We're after, like, cultivating long-term partnerships. And I think that consumers these days are very smart and very discerning. And no one's out here for the bullshit anymore. Like, let's be real. Like, this is just like, we're past that. So, whatever partnerships we're doing, it's with people who we feel are brand aligned, who we feel like they have an audience that genuinely trust them. So, they're not just selling shit that they don't believe in. It's like they've really put in the effort to be picky and they've just seen the long-term vision. So, Lauren is a great example of that. Melissa, what another great example of that, actually, probably the first creator ever to talk about us. That was not paid. We just gifted her. And so, that's kind of how we built our relationships. And the way we, you know, see deals for our brand is always, always long-term. It's never a one-off. Anyone want to add to that or? I mean, I feel that way as a creator. Like, I use every product. I promote. As you should. Because if I don't love that product, if somebody uses it and it sucks, I lose my engagement. I lose my following. I lose the trust with the people who help me pay my bill. I mean, that's what this is. This is the business. And so, there isn't a single product or a company that I work with that I like would not want to like invest in if I could. And it feels like it's an investment in that way, you know? I think that's really important because I think people will be like, oh, I got a brand deal. This is really exciting and you feel like you're about to pop off. But it's like, it needs to be something that your audience knows is a part of your life. It's also such a short-sighted kind of money grab when that happens. And I just don't think it's a smart business move. Like, even just speaking as a creator, because I used to be on the other side prior to starting a ray. And it's like, it's just a money grab and people can see right through it and you lose credibility. So, it's just not worth it. Speaking to credibility, because I want to try to leave enough time for Q&A, Lauren, it's fair to say that you're a bit of an oversharer. Would you agree with that assessment? I would. Share a little bit too much about me in particular. Would you agree with that assessment? Run up everybody? I would. Okay. For the creators out there and even brands, honestly, who are nervous about getting pushed back for speaking their minds, we've been no strangers to controversy and sharing their real opinions. What would you tell them? I told you last night. I told you last night. This is exactly your conversation. You can't create for your critics. If you're creating for your critics, you're creating for the wrong community. You can't look at what all of them are saying, get so into it, and get so romantic about it. Like, I know with what I do, I am going to get pushed back. Not everyone is going to like me. That is part of what I have signed up for. If everyone liked me too, like, it's news. So, I think I know that there is a lot of people that I am alienating. That's, and that's okay. I think that as you start to create, stop creating for the people that don't like you. And what I mean by that is you're playing it safe because you want to be politically correct about something. I have been a person that just says what I think and how I think it, what I want to say it, how I want to say it. And like, you know that when you're coming to my platform, like, I'm just going to tell it how it is. I don't really see a lot of longevity. And I'm not talking about five years. I'm talking about like 15 years in this business for people that aren't speaking and saying what they want to say, how they want to say it, when they want to say it. I don't, I think it's like the curated, it's just like, you're going to lose people. So, if I were telling anyone in this audience anything, it's just speak how you want to speak. Not everyone's going to like you. Make peace of it. I can also add to that. And, you know, people are going to judge 100% of your life on the 1% they actually see. When I tell you the amount of gossip threads and blogs that are written about a 15 second TikTok, it's baffling. You know, I get feedback, you know, about people who are like, oh my gosh, how could you, you know, appear with this person or see this person? And it's like, it's really bizarre, you know what I mean? Because it's kind of like, I actually know them behind the scenes. And what people don't know is like, I just announced that I got engaged. And I've been engaged for four months. You know what I mean? Like, things are on delay because sometimes I'm just enjoying them to myself. Like, people are going to find out that I'm having a baby when there's like a two year old walking around, you know what I mean? It's like, it's just one of those things where social media has invited so many people in because we are sharers, you know, but sometimes people don't realize that there is that balance. And, because of that, it's really important that you don't throttle your own excellence because I guarantee you if you're doing it right, someone should be talking. You know, I remember, you know, looking back and thinking to myself, oh my gosh, will people be, you know, okay as a Black girl, you know, who's in this influencer space and not specifically doing Black girl things, you know, will people judge me? Will people say things? You know, my fiance is a white guy, like, will that be weird? You know, and race is such a weird thing, you know, that people feel really uncomfortable with. But the truth is, am I really going to deny myself love because of the package that it showed up in? That's absurd, you know, am I really going to deny myself the opportunity to speak in rooms to people who may not look like me? Because I still have love for everyone. Like, no, that's crazy, you know, I'm a Christian, I talk about my faith publicly, you know, I don't judge or deny other people, it's who I am, you know, and these are all things that I have been without hesitation vocal about. And if people don't like it, like they should just not listen. I'm not going to speak from the creator side, but from, I guess, the dear media side and, you know, seeing the listens and the numbers and the way shows come in and not to speak to any specific shows. But I think the ones that have struggled the most to find their voice or the ones that are trying to kind of play it safe, stay in the middle of the lane, they don't really establish their own voice, they don't really share the real perspective, because they're nervous about the pushback they're going to get for so so-called critics. Dr. Wilkoll was on here earlier answering a question about Gwyneth Paltrow. And I thought it was very smart. It speaks more to the society we're in than the actual creator and the way that we react to these things. But trying to play K that and play it safe all the time, you're never going to capture attention, right? Because the noisier stuff is going to stand out and you're just going to get washed away in a see-up voices that aren't really saying anything. I just want to add to this a little bit. I think it goes back to what Lauren said about operating your business as a creator as a brand. When someone doesn't like array, I'm not so like, I don't take it personally. It's just not for everyone. And that's okay, you know, and you just kind of have to draw that line that we are not a brand for everyone. No brand is a brand for everyone. And just like that, creators, I think, should have the same perspective that, no, you're not going to be for everyone. And that's okay. I'm very sensitive. I just want to give a different perspective. Like, this stuff is really hard for me. Like, debilitatingly hard sometimes. Like, I'm starting, like, the pendulum is starting to very much switch to the other side and like, look at my husband doesn't give a shit. He's like, it's all noise. Like, this is like, you're a good normal person. Like, this is so crazy. And I realized, like, here's like the real side of truth. Like, people, if they're hating on you, they're still engaging with your content, like, so much. And like, it's just making us more money. So like, that's like the fuck that's where it's like hard for me, because I'm like, I'm getting all this hate. But like, my sales have never been better. And the listens on my podcast are huge. And like, my story views are up. So it's like, if you really like, don't like somebody and you want it to like really hurt stuff, fucking looking. Yeah, that's how you hurt. Well, and also like, if you say something stupid, out loud, like, you also learn. I think sometimes we forget that too, that like, you may have an idea or an opinion that needs a ball or needs to grow. And in speaking yourself freely, that's when you might learn something and say, oh my gosh, I never challenged that opinion before. And that's an area of growth for me. Or, like, Lauren is a learner by nature, which you guys, she says it herself, but it is very much her truth. And like, if she if she is challenged in something that she's like, I never thought of it that way, she will have an expert on she'll be reading 10 books, she will have, you know, like a sponsorship, like, because she wants to evolve and grow constantly. And I think that all of us should like take from that, you know, where it's like, speak your mind, because if you're wrong, trust me, somebody will say something. And if there's room for growth, you will learn strong opinions loosely held. That's right. I think also people don't give enough credit to, and then I'll open it to Q&A, to the people that are watching. And if your intention is in the right place as a creator, you're not actually out to harm people, the majority of people will recognize that and reward you for it, right? Like, if you're out there and you're trying to hurt people and you're being an asshole and you're trying to be divisive, like, that's going to get exposed very quick. But if your intention is in the right place, people will recognize that. And so, I think people shouldn't be afraid to kind of speak their truth. History shows that too. You know, like, thank God, like, I've been on the internet since I was like, what, like 11, you know what I mean? Which was like yesterday, obviously. So, but that said, like, you know, you can literally scroll back, you know, and see, like, is she who she said she is? Or, you know, is she not? And you can do that for most of us. And like, we've all been pretty consistent, you know, so consistency speaks volumes, you know, and just be consistent in your message too, because that'll speak volumes as well. Thank you guys. We're going to keep going here. I want to try to open it up to Q&A. I don't know if we have a mic here, or if you literally ask any of us anything that you want to ask under the sun, myself included, whatever, if we can provide any value, we definitely want to do so. Hi. This is Nicole. Hello. Hi. The best piece of business advice anyone gave you. What was it? And did you agree with it? Yeah, actually. So, the best piece of business advice that was ever given to me was if everyone wants to buy, it's not the time to sell. So, I got an offer really early on in my business for eight figures. And at the time that felt like all the money and the offer also came with the opportunity to, I just adopted my three girls. So, I was like, I think at the time they were like 16, 16, 14, and six. And, you know, because I was a new mom for, like, a couple years, I was like, I need to be home. And, you know, like, everything seemed like it made sense. And I was like, that money could really afford me a lot of flexibility. But I spent eight months not saying yes quickly, because that's the other piece of advice, sleep on it. Like, if it's real good deal, it'll still be there. There's no rush behind any opportunity. But I literally ended up saying no with like no good reason, other than if they wanted that bad, maybe I shouldn't give it up. And when I said no, this person who's like, a billionaire, super famous was like, why'd you say no? And I was like, I was scared that if I said yes, or if I said no, that I couldn't do it without you. And he looked me square in the face and was like, oh, no, me and you are the same. And I just want you to know that you'll definitely get there. The question is, will you get there as quickly without me? And I was like, oh, I'm so glad I said no, because I literally would have never gotten there if I'd sold to him. And what a, I'm sure enough crossed the numbers myself, you know, within probably two years after that. So I was just afraid of being my own CEO. So if someone wants to buy, that may not be the time to sell. Oh, we choose in here. Put the hands up against our, in the pink. Eyes aren't the best. I have always used that to my advantage. I think it's such an asset to let people underestimate you. And I see everyone in this room. There's so many beautiful women in this room. Use it to your advantage. Like, I'm not going to sit around and complain about it. That's a waste. Like, just let people underestimate you and just keep on executing. I think that, you know, I hear a lot of people complaining about like boardrooms with a lot of men and like, and listen, I, I've had experiences too, and I've even talked about it, but it's like, look at that from a perspective of what you can get out of it that's positive, not the negative. And I try to do that with every single thing in my life is like, what is the advantage here? And so, you know, I hope people continue to keep underestimating me. I think that, you know, that's their problem, not mine. And the white joint, yeah. Hi, I'm a guest. So this person is kind of fair. So I'm 25. I'm working time. And no, I'm not going to want to find a photo that I want. Right now, one day, the list goes on with one of that. So, you know, how do you guys decide to move on the product? I would read the Book Mastery by Robert Green. It's an incredible book if you don't know what you want to do right now, because it makes you look back on your life and put together sort of pieces of a puzzle of what you like. So you might not know what you want, but you might look back when you were five and you might have done something when you were five that you can piece together when you were seven. Like an example, and I've talked about this a lot on the podcast is so random, but I loved scrapbooking. Like, I would scrapbook everything and I would get so into it and like tones and colors and shapes and like very visual and very creative with the scrapbook. And I look back now and that's essentially what I started my career doing, scrapbooking, just online. Or, you know, I love to talk. I got in trouble in school for talking all the fucking time. So like now I talk on a mic. I would look at your history. There's a lot of clues from when you were little that you can put together to sort of form your life moving forward. Lorna and I go back and forth on this a lot, this topic kind of around the subject of chasing your passion. I've spoken, I think there's just an article came out spoken. I think it's poor advice that people that are sitting up here, not all these people, but people in positions where they found something that is their passion, where they say, just chase your passion. You know, it's a constant development for me every day to figure out what that passion is. And the only way over time that I've kind of figured out what I want to do is by tasting and trying a lot of different things, you're very young. So you have a lot of time. I think that's also something you can texturize. You know, people feel this massive rush to get stuff down the moment I kind of took a step back and was able to take a deep breath around business. I was like, okay, I'm going to be doing this for the next, let's call it 70 years, hopefully. And with that perspective, like I can taste a lot of different things along the way. And as you do that, and maybe you might go work in corporate America, or you might go into a service industry job, or you might create content, it's going to give you little clues and little hints about what you actually like doing. And it's going to inform the decision, but when you actually start building something for yourself, right? Like, there's no way if you'd have asked me six, seven years ago, maybe eight years ago now, if I'd be doing what I'm doing now, I would have looked at you like you were strange. But it was just by kind of trying a bunch of different things that we figured it out. I actually have a tactical piece of advice. I have a page on my notes app on my phone where I write down every business idea that I have. Typically, it's when I'm pissed off about something. Like, when I see a problem, I'm like, why has no one created a solution to this? So I have like, I don't know, like 10, 15 different things that I don't know, if a ray went to shit, it's God forbid, I know what I'm working on next. I want to kind of try to maybe go to the middle just because I feel like I've been favoring the front. Maybe right here? The white? Is that white? Why can't I see white? The white? Yeah. Lights are bright up here. Hi. Okay. So this is for a couple of y'all. It's kind of business related, but it's for like the ones who do business with their spouse. So like my husband and I do a lot of like entrepreneurial things together. How do you manage that and like still keep the romance alive, but then still keep the business side. It just like bleeds in and we're talking about 24 seven and it's like, are we romantic or are we business partners? How do you handle that? You figure it out. Let me know. It's a nightmare. It is a nightmare sometimes. It really is a nightmare sometimes. Like, it's very annoying, but but but but but but but but it is there is a lot of reward if you can if you can really commit to the same vision, but it is like from a micro perspective annoying. But how many things are so uncomfortable that you have to do that turn out to make you comfortable? It's one of those things for me like it's like I embrace the chaos and I embrace being uncomfortable and I embrace the nightmare because it can be a nightmare. You should have seen us getting here. But but in the long run and the longevity of it, it's so rewarding. And to me, it's made my my husband and my relationship so much more romantic because there's so much to talk about. We can't even like it's like project dialing out of our mouth because we can talk about business. I mean, there's it's just made our relationship really multifaceted. So I think it's worth it, but you're going to have a lot of bumps just embrace it. I have two pieces of advice that I can give you. Number one is that for Nisha and I, the reason our partnership works is because we are very opposite and complimentary. So we're working on two different things. So we have final say on two different sides of the business, which is really helpful. Number two is I think being very vocal about boundaries. So, you know, if I've had a bad day and I no longer want to talk about the business, I actually vocalize and say it. It's not something that I'm like, oh, I hope he can read my mind. You can't do that when you're, you know, married to your co-founder. You just can't. And then just instilling boundaries as well, like if we're out for a date night, like, and we can talk about like big dreams, right? Like where do we want to take the business? Like what's exciting? Not like operationally, like there's all of this things going wrong. Like that's not what we're going to do on date night. So I feel like communication is really important. You also can have like little hacks. Like if he's talking to me, I'll just go in my son's room when he's sleeping and you like can't talk because the baby's asleep. Or like he's annoying me so bad. I like have my my walking shoes by the door and it's like got to go for a walk by. I will set alarms on my phone and pretend I have conference calls. Like just so you have to like you do have to have hacks. I didn't tell all of them either. So don't worry. Katie, right? That's down. I got to remember that. Okay. In the back, right? Back right. Now you had your hand. Nice like back here. Is that right there? Yeah. You. Mustache. Is it mustache? No. Yeah. Her. Okay. Well, whoever. You both raise their hands. But if it's you're not going to be a little bit more than you are, you're not going to be a little bit more than you are. You're not going to be a little bit more than you are. You're not going to be a little bit more than you are. You're not going to be a little bit more than you are. You're not going to be a little bit more than you are. You're not going to be a little bit more you have to in a non-teaming way. Oh, I can speak to that because I quit my job live online in front of 10,000 people. And while I was doing that live, and I went viral after that, while I was doing that live, I was literally getting real-time text messages. So both my parents are from Ghana, West Africa, and their dream was for me to be like a lawyer or a doctor and engineer. So they literally were like, I was getting like, what are you doing? I can't believe this. And what we do, you are supposed to be ducked out. How will we have full okay? Like they had dreams, okay? So it was an event real time that I was doing this. And understand even now, my mom still calls me, mind you, multi-millionaire paying her bills. And she was like, this is still time for medical school, you know? You can't still do this one. So I say all this to let you know that there's a couple things you got to remember. The first one is they are not currently and never will be signing your checks. So do we care about people who are not signing our checks? We do not. Second, they will not be there in the hardest times and they will certainly try to be there in the best times. Remember that. Next, if people aren't able to see where you're going, that's fine. They shouldn't be commenting on your journey when they don't know the destination. Focus on what you have to do. And then lastly, as an entrepreneur, this is going to be one of the most ongoing and consistent things you will always battle, whether it is with your employees or your friends or your family or your partner. No one's ever going to be as excited about your vision as you are and it's not their job to be. You've got to know that it is up to you to put your head down and do the work because ain't nobody coming to save you. So while it's difficult, all you do is the taper off. I'm just less available. That's all it is. You know what I mean? It doesn't have to be a big conversation. I know that boundaries are all the rage right now. I'm so busy making money. I don't have time to talk to you about these boundaries. You know what I mean? I just taper off. So, less phone calls, less everything. I also think that you only have a cell phone battery of energy every single day. And for me, if someone, if like a friend is not being supportive or buying my products, like I just can't waste my energy and my capacity on it. And I mean, I always am a big believer too, if they launch something, I'll be like the first to buy it. Like I don't hold them like accountable. And I think that I almost in a way feel bad for them that they can't be supportive because it's wasting their battery. Like just it's just a waste. Like I would never try to pull someone down to make myself feel bigger. So I think it's just don't waste your energy on it. I wouldn't even think about it. Put it out of your head. God damn Nicole, that was good. That was good. All right, you've got time. I think two more. Two more. Where have I not? Right there. Yep. Like I was favoring the side. Sorry. All right. So I was going to ask you, my name is Patrick by the way, and I was going to ask, when is it okay to take a break? Not like a break from like the day sucks and you're just trying to get through it. But like, I mean, my wife knows I'm kind of like in the midst of like, should I keep going with this job that doesn't really serve me? But it was like everything I built my life towards or like how do I take a break? Because I've only ever worked my ass off, right? And I don't really know if it's responsible to like take five, I guess. So how would you guys go about that? I think I could relate to this. For the longest time, I would maybe consider myself as, you know, maybe like a hyper guy, Lauren would agree with that. Very much like, go, go, go hustle, hustle, hustle mentality, you know, not put my health in my sleep or, you know, that kind of stuff ahead of the business. But what I realize as I've grown in my career is that the more time I take to take care of myself and think and slow down and actually work on the businesses as opposed to inside them. Like, I think that's a distinction, Lauren, I talk about all the times, like, are you working on your business or are you working in it? If you're working in it, it's hard to see outside and it's hard to strategize and figure out what you need to do and what steps you need to take next. So there'll be times when, you know, I'll go and I'll say, hey, clear my entire day, cancel every single meeting. It's in the middle of a workday, won't speak to anybody. And it's just literally for me to sit and think and take time to strategize on where I actually want to try and take any of the businesses I'm working on. I think as a society and as a culture, we feel pressure to not take that time for ourselves. But again, if you don't and you don't take a step back, it makes it impossible to see the greater vision in the greater picture and you miss opportunity. So I don't think we should feel bad about taking some time to ourselves to actually think maybe you're not even working that day. Maybe you're just taking a walk going to the gym, spending time with kids or whatever. But those are the moments for me where the light bulbs go off. I'm like, oh, we should do that. We should have there's this crazy idea to maybe do this live event that'll be different than other podcast live events. And it has to look this way. And it can't just be the simple run of the mill stuff that most people do. But the only way you get to that and figure out how to strategize is to kind of take a step back sometimes and take care of yourself. And also, absence is so important. Everyone's all about presence. Do not underestimate absence. Absence is very, very important. Take a break from social media, step back. That's where you're going to really, really be able to have space like Michael said to think. I mean, sometimes I'll just put my phone down for three days and turn it on airplane mode. And I that's really where the growth of my company comes from because I step away from it. I also think absence is just amazing for everything for relationships, like absence is, I think absence is like the new word for 2023. We'll get the presence for a minute. If you think about it in a sports analogy, athletes have seasons for a reason and they have off seasons for a reason. Right. If you're just to say, Hey, you're going to play all your long and never stop, you burn out, you get injured, your career is going to go down the toilet. So the same thing in any kind of business or career, right? You got to take time. And I'm not just saying that for the entrepreneurs. I'm saying that if you work in a company as well, right? Like at your media, we try to create an environment where people are kind of in and out of the office in a hybrid environment. They have unlimited vacation to figure out because I don't want to burn people out, right? I want people to be able to be strategic and think. And I don't want people just doing things like robots. I want, I want them to be thoughtful with their actions. So, I don't think you can do that if you're constantly burning yourself down. Are you tired or one more? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Just have to have the confidence in yourself. And I don't think there's some unlock. And I don't think it's one, two, three steps to confidence. I think it's just like you wake up and you're confident. And this is what you're doing. And it's like a bloodhound dog. And nothing's stopping you. And it doesn't matter who you're married to or who your friends with. It's like, this is what you're doing. And this is how you're doing it. And this is when you're doing it. And you become, you have a routine and you constantly execute. I really think executing is so important. I was, I don't remember who I was talking to about this last night, but so many people tell me ideas. And that's great. But I'm more interested in the follow through of the idea and the actual execution. And if you can get those little executions under your belt, it'll, it'll build that confidence muscle. So it really is just waking up and deciding this is what you're doing and putting like blinders on and being like, this is what I'm doing. And no one's going to convince me otherwise. And honestly, anyone can do it. Like I'm not special to be able to do that. It's really something that anyone can access at any time. Can I say something just to everybody? Because I think that we have a culture that is extremely entrepreneurial driven. And thank God, just some of us would be sitting here without that. But like, I know everything that I know because I worked for badass people for a really long time. And it is okay to not want to have your own multi million dollar brand by the time you're 25 and five. And it's not normal. And so like this wouldn't be here today if like Dear Media didn't have an incredible team of people. By the way, I've worked for many companies. This is the best company I've ever had the honor to work for. You have the happiest employees on the planet who work their asses off truly. And I've worked in lots of corporate environments. And like, it takes employees to run companies. So like, we need to be in the workforce. And we need to be learning from people and putting in those fucking hours until you are ready. I feel like we're all putting our pressure like, what's my thing? And it's like, work until you find it. And then the moment will come, but you're not going to find it unless you're out there doing work, it is okay to like not be number one. It's okay to learn from number one for a long time. Thank you for saying that. I appreciate that. So much pressure. Well, no, I think like I'm not the first person to say this, but it's 100% true. There are a lot of number two's, three's, four's and five's and companies that do a hell of a lot better than all of us sitting up on the stage, right? I don't think people should lose sight of that. I personally have an entrepreneurial tendency. I don't think I would do as well not doing my own thing. Just that's the way I think. But dear media to Pia's point would absolutely not exist and not function without the incredible people, people on the team that I've surrounded myself with. So, you know, I think that shouldn't be lost on anyone. Not everybody should chase that on. If you don't want to be an entrepreneur and you don't feel that calling, you know, don't do it. You can go and work for a phenomenal organization and be a real contributor to massive growth. And in many cases do a lot better than many entrepreneurs do on their own, right? Like, luckily we've had some success here with this venture, but there's many that don't make it. And you know, those stories aren't told often enough. I think to Pia's point, entrepreneurship is glamorized in this country. But I wish more would come out and talk about like, hey, this was the struggle of this work, this didn't, and also highlight a little bit more of the incredible people that they get to work with when they build something successful. To my point, dear media could absolutely not exist. I've been running around and people ask, am I stressed out about today? No, not at all, because the team that we get to work with day to day is incredible. And I haven't had to think about this organization or this venue or the success of this event once today, right? And that's just the truth. I've been kind of cool as a cucumber, but it's because of the people that I get to work with. Also, one more thing to add. Well, mine is when she's late, but yeah. Authenticity. And I would say Lauren is your, you're adjacent to the dear media team. You are. No, this is not me. This is you. You are. I saw you. Yeah, a pain in my ass. One more thing to add is that I think we also have to embrace the idea of entrepreneurs, because if you're like a lot of companies, they want to hire self starters. In fact, I think that's the ideal person to bring on your team. So when we are doing our hiring, we are looking to hire entrepreneurs. I'm not out here wanting to micromanage someone. So I want them to operate like an entrepreneur within the business, have autonomy and like develop their careers. So if you are kind of like a self starter and you maybe don't have your own business idea yet, or maybe you never will, it's okay to go work at a company where you'll have the autonomy to kind of learn and grow and still function like an entrepreneur, but within kind of certain guardrails, if that makes sense. All right. Thank you guys. Thank you, panelists. Thank you. Appreciate that. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.