Kelsie Sheren: Canadian Combat Vet To Entrepreneur, CEO of Brass & Unity, Author & Podcaster

The team never quit podcasts is brought to you by Navy Federal Credit Union. If you're ready to tackle home ownership, go check out Navy Federals' Morage Options with zero down payment. You can learn more at navyfederal.org. I don't consider myself an entrepreneur. I guess technically I am by definition. I'm yes, I guess I'm technically an author. Yes, I guess I'm technically this. But what I was doing was my friends are all dying by suicide and they're doing it out of pace that I do not mind acceptable. How do I help? I don't know. So why don't I start helping myself and then give myself the tools to then go and help others? All right everybody, welcome back to the TNG podcast. I'm your host, Marcus Matrell. Every week it's my job to fire you up to ignite the legend inside of you and to push you to your greatness. Join me every week as I tape you into my briefing room with some of the most art charged with people on the planet. They're going to show you how to embrace the stuff of life, teach you the values of working your ass off, and charge to whatever life throws at you. This is the team never quit podcasts. Don't buckle up, buttercup. Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back to another episode of team never quit podcast. As always, thank you everybody for listening, watching, viewing, and subscribing. And please give it a thumbs up or a subscribe wherever you get this channel. So before we dive in today's special guest, let's kick it off with our Patreon question of the day, which is, would you rather go back in time to meet your ancestors or go to the future and meet your descendants? Oh, that is such a fantastic question. Ancestors. That is a good question. Ancestors. That's so hard for me. I would like to meet my descendants, also just to see what the future is like. Yeah, if there is one. I don't know if that would piss me off and continue, but if you go backwards then it's like, you know, it's back time. Yeah. If it's in the future then I obviously got something to do with it. Exactly. I'm here for that. I knew my great, great grandparents. So I feel like, yeah, so up until I was 10 is when they started dying and then had my great grandparents until my 30s and then now my grandparents are starting to die, which is so sad. But I feel like I know a good part of my ancestry. So I think I'd want to go in the future and have some sort of influence on future generations. That's a good question. That's a great question. Yeah. I've never been asked that before. I like it. Because when you have another thing, when you have a bunch of grandparents, a great-grandparents online, you can see your, because it's only four generations. They say people don't change, the times change, but times change to people. And people change in the times. Absolutely. So if you can actually get a good idea of certain times in history and how people act, just by looking at what today you can get in Canada. And then we have tech, obviously. That's a different thing all together. But yeah, I would go way back though. I would go like, I want to go way back first and I want to know exactly what the hell happened. Exactly. I want to know who to get us right here. Exactly. That's right. I love that. Yeah. I would definitely like, if I could just pick anybody's brain in my Ancestry. On both my mom and my dad's side, my ancestors went from France to Canada for just the travel route down the Mississippi into Louisiana. And they formed in Louisiana in the late 1700s. And they've never left the area. Do they sound like the Acadian French, that real thick like yes. Creole, they mix it all together. Yeah. Why do people talk like that? Get the rocks out of your mouth. They can't, that's what they, it's, but they don't, they've never left. My parents were the first of them. Yeah. And then they marry each other from the other. That's how you know. I'm not even, I thought that was a myth. I went down in there after I married into this clan. And it's real. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. I'm fucking deep in there. Very rooted. And so I would want to know why they left France. If I was to like go back and fix, we could still be in France. There's your answer. Yeah. You're all, you're overthinking that question. I just want to meet them. I was in Texas. So there you go right there. There you go. Your paths had to align somehow. Yeah. That's true that I remember looking her history there. It's there. Yeah. My history is very rooted. That's it. It's a, is it Tom Segura, who makes a joke about, uh, about Louisiana? He said they should, they should build a wall around those people. And I don't disagree. That is a different place. That is a different vibe. There's a swamp. I know. That is the wall. If you've never been through there, just think about it. When you, because you got to go over bridge, right before that was there's like, how would you even get through that? Well, I mean, you had to be determined to get the hell out of there. Exactly. That was serious. You got to go on. You're keeping you out. Yeah. Oh, well, that's, yeah. There you go. That's great. We're looking at it. It's always got a side, right? Because we really like, we didn't want to go in there. Like, good. We didn't want you in there anyway. Exactly. I love that. I'm very proud of where I love it there. For sure. So today we have Kelsey Sharon, who's a combat veteran and artillery gunner in the Canadian military, who served in Afghanistan in 2009 with the Canadian American and British armed forces. She's currently the CEO of Brass and Unity, host of the Brass and Unity podcast, an author of Brass and Unity. Welcome to the show, Kelsey. Oh, no, thank you for having me. Honestly, it's a pleasure. We know you're from Canada, but give us a little background on how did this start? How did this, how did this, yeah, to this? I grew up in a really small town in Ontario on the East Coast, on the, as people will correct, it's not the East Coast. It kind of is mid East. So we live in that kind of area here. Yes, I know what you're talking about. The outer and the inner. That's right. Right in the heart. So I grew up in a really small town. My dad was a long-haul truck driver, mom's at home, and my brother and I were in a ton of different sports. Because of where I grew up, I grew up on 17 acres of woods and out in the middle of nowhere. It was very much really incredible childhood. I had a really, I didn't have to have these cities and all these influences. I could just be outside. I could be doing a lot of different sports. And so ultimately, I got into Taekwondo and I got in at about four. And that's when... This goes your brothers? No, my brother? Anybody in the family do at martial arts? No, my mom did when she was older, so when she was younger, way back, but she didn't do it for, she did karate for a little while, but it wasn't... Was it a movie? No, it was. My mom was at a mall and saw one of those demonstrations. Oh, that's got you. So the Taekwondo guys can put on a demo. Yes, but it's not applicable in real life. Okay, we don't have to get into that whole rabbit hole. I'll go down it. I know you will. I will too. All day long. To my favorite thing, talking about a martial arts. Yeah, he did karate growing up. Yeah. The, y'all can put on a freaking demo. Yeah, oh, yeah. And like, crazy level shit. So we went, my mom called me from the mall and was like, hey, you know, when we start something, we finish it. So if you sign up for it, you've got to finish what we sign you up for, whether you like it or not, like this is what it is. So I went and I fell in love and then cut to four to 13 and then the 19 and 18, 19 and 20. I, that's what, that was my life. So I got to a point where I became a really high level competitive fighter and then a national level fighter. By the time I was 12, 13 and then I had my first kind of world blow where you realize the world is not all innocent. And that, not everything is great. And that's kind of where the innocence died in me a little bit. And the little anger streak that came. And my coach decided he was going to sexually assault my teammate for a couple of years. And she was under age, obviously. And it was a whole thing. He ended up going to jail. And it, because that was my coach from the age of four, that affected my trust in the world, my trust in men, my trust in people and all of that. So my brother got into motor cross at that point. And that's when my dad would go with my brother. My mom would go with me and we would do all of our, all of our sports. When I got into high school and along those lines, that's when rugby came in. And I got really, really gnarly into rugby. And that's how I tore my eyelid off and got a few precautions and did a bunch of stuff. And it was a really good way to work on aggression without having the tool that I had as a child, which was the outlaw's tag window. And then I went, we moved to an even smaller town for my last couple years of high school. And those were my first two years, not a Catholic school. So I got to learn what small town, hockey team, farm kids, group think looks like. They're different. It's a vibe. That's a vibe, yeah. Yeah, and so that was a whole experience. So then build in that anger a little bit and that frustration and bad breakup. And I wanted out. So I went to college as soon as I graduated. So I was 17. And I went to Ottawa. And Ottawa, Ontario is where the capital of Canada is. Although it is the smallest, so it makes no sense. Waterways, I get it, but I digress. Location, right? Location, location, right? Back when the queen was. So we, I went there and I joined for a program. I had no interest in, and I was never a book individual. Anyway, where studies were something. I was hyper focused. It was always sport my entire life. So parents push you to college? No, that's just the right way. She just wanted out of the town. And it was the route out. So I took a, they accepted me for like travel and tourism. What even is that? No one knows. Is that a Canada thing? Because the only other Canadian we've had, Trevor, did the exact same thing. Yeah. So it must be. I don't know. He's the exact same thing. The exact same thing. It was awesome. Yeah. He's the most well-rounded dude I know. Yeah. And that's, that kind of job will do that too. That it will. Exile you learned because you're learning about everything. And so I end up going down to a remembrance day ceremony. So you guys have Veterans Day on November 11th, where you say happy Veterans Day. And then we have Remembrance Day where we wear poppies and everyone is solemn. For most people who are educated enough are solemn and the rest are ignorant and say happy Remembrance Day, which is fun. So I went down to the ceremony in Ottawa because my whole family, like we always had respect for the military. I didn't grow up with military. I didn't come from the bloodline. Until I found out when I was writing this, my grandfather, who I didn't meet, unfortunately, my dad's dad, served in World War II. So you do have it in your bloodline? Just don't know about it. So I don't know. Not to just back it for a second. Have you traced your lineage yet? Yes. How many more military you find in there? Only a couple. Only a couple. Yeah, because so my dad's side, it's heavy Scottish Irish super white dudes that were farmers. And then my mom's is Hungarian. And so my grandfather left Hungary when the Soviets invaded after World War II when he was run out of the country. And he came to Ontario and that's where they settled. Yeah, that's my backfill too. Yeah, farmers and yeah, exactly. And it builds an interesting human. So with the martial arts. Yeah. When we're kids and we're going up, there's the discipline in there. Focus is, it gives us something straight to do. And then there is that time for whatever reason, because they teach it as a self-defense. Right. And then you would get whatever happens to us when we switch that. Like you're waiting for it. You're waiting for it. Waiting for it. I was just, I'm not running anybody else. You put so much training to what we did, but that doesn't happen to. It's wired in. It's like doing any right thing to us. I think what happens is that's a part of us going through phase. Like you're just to step away from part of it to appreciate that first part. Because now I have kids. And I, right now I'm hitting them with the Miyagi. The philosophy. Good. And then I'll make them do some stuff. There's movements in it just so they can protect. That whole round game. Yes. But I did step away from it. There's always there. And if I had to use it, yeah, boom, quick. You can always go back to it. You can always go back to it. But now I noticed as I get older in the kids because we're pushing it back down, that comes into play. No matter what style. And it's styles, right? I was like, hey, man, which style do you look good doing? Which one works with that body? That's right. And then you don't appreciate that when you're younger. It's just like fraternities in college. Like my style is the best. What do you even? Exactly. That, that, that, that whole thing. Yeah, no, I learned the hard way. I learned a long time ago that Taekwondo was not super applicable in real life if I was being grabbed from behind. It's just, you know, that's a different level. That's where Jujitsu comes in. And that's why we put my son in Jujitsu because I want, I want him to be able to de-escalate situations. I don't want a striking sport so he doesn't have as many concussions. I don't, you know, I think about long-term repercussions what he's doing to his brain. So Taekwondo, I was in the WTF, which meant you could, you could knock somebody out. We know what that is. Exactly. So I don't want him to be concussed, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve times in his life. You know, that's where all the martial arts came online. Different body types. Yeah. In a different scenario, they're like, hey, how do you get out of that? Yeah. And then people started running with it. And then we got separated by land or whatever reason. Exactly. And when you finally, MMA brought that together. I mean, if you got a kid who can do both and the perfect martial art is just to get out of the way of everything. Exactly. Just a boy. Just a boy. Just a boy, the situation. And if you can somehow get that into your, I got it now. I have to do it all the time now, avoid it. There's absolutely. And they say that, but man, you can't understand. You're like, no, I'm learning all this cool stuff. I want to use it. Yeah. No, that's not real life though. You know what I mean? Yeah, I know, right? Yeah, 100%. No, I feel you want that completely. That's why we put him in. Yeah, that's why he's doing a little bit. Yeah, we started him in the scouts. And in our family, if you get that ego scout in a black belt, you call it a black eagle. Oh, that's a call. I like that. If you get that, those two things right there, you're good. You're good. I'm trying to sucker for the minute I got him and everything. But if you, I know for a fact, and those have been road tested by all types of people and all types of situations. And there's a couple of things that we have implemented on Earth that if you put them in that kid and try to grow a human, you'll get a good one. Yeah, you just, it's a great fertilizer. It's not, I want to say that growing a human isn't hard. It's not too difficult if you put some damn effort into it. Yeah, exactly. How about that? And then there's that routine. Man, them suckers want to raise themselves. Routine is the key to success. Yeah, it is. Oh, I know our kid like clockwork, he'll look at, he wouldn't even look as watching. He'll just go, I feel tired. I think it's bedtime. On the dot, just wasn't even asking. Our little ones do that too. Yeah, it's great. They've always done it. Zars are around the same age. This new generation they're called them alphas. Like, I think so too. Because we were so extreme and you got that gap in between and then the rough gap. Yeah, it was a rough one. Yeah, it's rough gap there. That COVID thing and then all these young ones, man, they'll be something. Yeah, it's a meme yesterday that said, if your mom is between 36 and 44, don't mess with her. She was raised by Biggie and Tupac. Yeah, yeah, violence, will, and so, and they have no issue using it. War is martial arts. Exactly. And serious hip-hop back then. Whiskey, I mean, you made a meme with a through-ass. Exactly. And it worked. So I had to send it to Hunter because I'm 44. I'm like, I did, but I sent it to you directly. Like some of the stuff that comes out of our people's mouths and what they put together is so hilarious. I mean, it just, I laughed so hard at her and so. That's good. And you should. That's how you know you're living a good fulfilled life. If you're laughing to the point where you hurt. That's my goal. That's why I'm trying to have more comedians on my show because they make me have, I leave talking to them on a, but it's a different level. Happy. Whatever it is they got in them. Whatever that is, they tickles when they say tickle your funny bone. It does that. And when they know the type of person you are, they'll throw in like dark humor because they know they can get away with it. They can get away with it. And it just gets it deep. And that's how they communicate. And we were talking about this early. It's like the minute our comedians go bad, we're in trouble. We're, it's over. The minute they go dark, they, and stay that way. Like, we're there openly trying to hurt you with it. Then that's a problem. We need them guys and gals to keep, I don't care how they come at you, but do it with a damn smile. I know. Yeah, I'm fine with it, but you make me laugh and you'll get me every time. Every time. I'll be like, oh, okay, forget it. Every time. Forget it. Disarming. Yeah. I hope, I mean, you're right, these last few years, they took them and getting hit hard too. Oh, yeah. And that's why I appreciate them so much more because you understand how dark, well, and anybody goes for anything in mental health, you can understand how comedy is levity and how it heals. I just think it heals. I think it's a, it's a form of art because I believe in art therapy so much. It is a form of art that not only heals the individual that is doing it and gives them the outlet to speak out of the things that were so heavy on themselves and relieve that and kind of put that burden on others, if you will, but they do it in such a way that it heals the ears that it's healing because that it's hearing it because there is always, you will always relate to someone. You'll find a comedian that you like and you'll like them for a reason and then they'll say something, then you'll go, oh my God, I remember that. That was my childhood. You just comedy heals. Pull them inside. And you'll always want to watch a fight or a disaster but you want to hear somebody laugh. Every single time. And I mean, if we're in here laughing the whole, we don't have to take any drugs, we're doing anything. And if we laugh for a few hours, you don't think about anything else, and you can even think about bad stuff. If you're laughing about it, and you walk out of here, everything, you got to bless on you like you can't believe. But that's how people cope. It shows, too, like how y'all are in the military. So they did something. They have to have some laughing in the darkest times. I mean, you have to otherwise, you will cry. Yeah. You have to, you have to pick a lane and just commit. Yeah. I think what happens to us is, so when you get put in the darkness, everyone's afraid and timid and we don't know what to do. Right? But then we get comfortable in there. Yes. So then the real you comes out. It's like Batman. And you want to talk about here, when you can laugh, yeah, when the hell's all around you. Yeah. But then when you're, you see somebody's comfortable in it, man, and they can start being themselves and that joke flies out because they're having a deal with the chaos. It's just magic. That was my game changer. Like comedy was a game changer for me. A lot of good, funny people around me. My husband is, oh, he's, he's not like, oh, make out my husband's funny. He's got like bits and he like gives him to me when we're in the shower. And it is though, he won't, he won't do him. He won't stand up and do him. Oh, though, because some of them are rough, but for me, they're everything. And he cracks me up better than anybody else I know. Oh, I love it. Anybody else besides Dave Chippell. Yeah. Thank you for that, man. That was a gift to the earth. Thank you God for Dave Chippell. I know Dave. That was a gift to the earth. There's a couple of them walking around down here where you're just like, thank you. He's just thank you for existing in the world. And I guess you're awesome. Like it's great. So going back to your story, did you do anything with the travel and tourism? No, God knows. So I did. Yeah, military. Yeah, I went right, I went. That's the same thing. Yeah, exactly. I went to the ceremony and I met a lady on a bus coming back. And she had an Air Force uniform on, she had come from the ceremony, very elderly looking lady. I was like, oh, it's just women's. And I have a tendency. If I see someone, it could be anywhere, but something in me and right in my little feeling spot will go, go talk to them. And then I go, okay. And then I just go over and I talk to people and I got talking to her and something clicked in me. And it was like a, it was like that moment in a movie where you look back and you go, this is the moment where the main character takes the turn of the fork in the road, which what is she going to pick? And I, I, something clicked and I've went to the recruiter's office and I, I said, I want to join the Army and I want to be on the front lines and they were like, well, honey, you know we're in an active war and we're deploying every six months. What do you want to do? And I said, well, I'm really fit. Like I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a very fit individual and I want to do something where actually I feel like I'm affecting something or this isn't worth it. So why don't you just put me in infantry? And so here's the thing about Canada. We can do that. Your women just started in 15. We've been doing, we've been running and gunning. If you can get it, if you can do it, they'll let you do it. Then they looked at the height of me and said, how about no? And I went, okay, what about? And they said, how about artillery or armored? And I said, well, tin can, explosives. I don't like being claustrophobic. Big guns, big boom. The hand of God. Yeah, let's give that a run. Are you tired of the same old workout routines that leaves you uninspired and stuck in a rut? Say goodbye to fitness boredom and hello to Fitbot. Your ultimate fitness companion. Fitbot is the intelligent personal training app that's revolutionizing the way you work out. 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Wherever you are in your fitness journey, get the most out of every workout with Fitbot. And you can get 20% off your subscription at fitbot.me slash TNQ. That's F-I-T-B-O-D dot M-E slash TNQ. It's 10 can't expose but chillin' outside. Yeah, I want to be like, I don't want to be inside. And so, because I would end up being a driver, for sure, because I'm perfect size. So I went artillery and they were tagged red, meaning they needed more individuals because of the rotational deployments. And so I, I was like, I don't want to be like, I don't want to be inside. And so, because I would end up being a driver for sure, because I'm perfect size. So I, with it, I sent my paperwork in that week. I quit college the next day. What year's this? This is 2007. And then by January, I was sworn in before 2008. By January 4th, I was in basic training. I was done, and I went like basic training, SQ, DP1, posted to my regiment that I was deploying with in September of 2008, and then deployed in April of 2009. Now, not all regiments are the same in Canada. I got posted to a French-speaking only regiment. I speak English. Yeah. And so I was the, I got posted there. I had to learn French, and then I was the only female. So I was the, the triple seven gunner. So I had to learn how to work with all these dudes, which is fine with me. I have no issue. I was, I was always a tomboy, like I always make jokes that if I were a 16 year old this day, people would have tried to transition me because my hair was this short. No, I'm not making, like I'm not being like facetious. Like my hair was this short. I wore a white beater a lot, and my tear-away pants, and it was not tight going to every day. So it's like, where are we going here? And so I was always tomboy, and I was always good with that. And so I got lucky because the sergeant at the time was not like a fan of me, because he didn't, he figured, well, that's one less person on the gun. She's not going to be able to load it, because the 155 millimeter howitzer has a just under 100 pound round that goes up to 40 kilometers. And so to run those guns, everybody has to be effective at their job. And so I just had to prove myself a lot, which was fine. I've no issue with that. I think if you come in and you look the part, it's a different thing. This dude walks in, they're not going to question whether he's going to chuck around around, it's just going to be fine. And so I knew going in, there was going to be these standards out to meet, and that's okay. I'm not saying it to complain, but I'm saying, I'm good with that. And so I hit the standards, did the minimums, and we didn't have two standards at the time where women had a different standard than the men. It was the standard. And so because I had fitness background, it helped me a lot succeed in the military. So we ended up deploying in April, and we got word that we were going to be the Canadian regiment that was going was Alpha Bravo and Charlie, and two guns on each run. Those guys were, Charlie and Bravo were going to Canadian fobs, but I was going to an American fob. So I went to fob, Ramrod. Oh, check. And so we were there, there were some 101st guys there, and we were ripping out a reservist artillery unit there. But my guys didn't speak, a lot of them did not speak English, and then the Texas guys didn't like that. And so it was a really interesting dynamic to be a part of, but I would just screw around with them on the comms and stuff, and just speak in French, and they're like, oh, ma'am, ma'am, you're going to have to come back again on that. Yeah. Oh, it was great. It would take something. Sometimes I want a voice to come over that radio, like, where's this coming from again? Exactly. Yeah, it was a great time. I used to tell people I was an English translator. Oh, perfect. I was just, I can only translate English. That's all I get. Different versions of English. Different versions of it. Well, you got her family down here. That's what I'm talking about. I'm in the red neck, right here, man. I love it. No, I love that. So yeah, we are falling right now. Because when you roll in on our fobs, we would have the Texas flag flying. And you guys, not only that, you guys, your accent was so thick. That's sometimes it was hard even for me to understand. I remember, that's funny because we always ask like, man. He has words that I don't understand still last night. And I was talking for minutes before you said something. I didn't realize that. Oh, Archbishop. And I were looking at each other like, what is dad saying? And I'm like, honestly, I have no idea, but he doesn't sound mad. So let him just go with it. Just let him roll. I just found the story. Yeah, no, I don't know. And then he looks at us as if we're supposed to answer. And I was like, it acts actually said, dad, we didn't understand what? You know, dad, all right. So, I started getting irritated. Why are you answering him? Why are you answering him? He goes, look at us saying, damn, we're gonna understand one word that came up. I'm like, oh, all right, well, I was talking in cursive. It's all right, man, if you don't, you know what I'm saying? When you get comfortable, the twang comes out in a real way. A lot. If I get excited or kind of, yeah. Well, yeah, we say he talks in cursive because his flow sometimes just doesn't, the words don't end. You did pretty. Oh, man, I feel like that would be. Yeah, it helps. It was bad. It helps with the, yeah. Yeah, it would be real. It brings the biggest back. Yeah. I don't wish he could get a thickness back. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, I appreciate that. That's funny, man. But yeah, those guys were great. That's why I got to work with the Americans. So we got to support, we got to do a lot of shooting support for those guys, which was fun. It's always great to see how things are run. And then I got to, and then on that fob, there were a couple situations in the book. You can dive into it. We don't need to, I don't want to waste all your day. So there's a couple situations though that I was a part of inside the fob. And then because I was seen as the weakling, so, okay, I'd like to target the weak, the weak one. And so it ended up working out in my favor, not so much in his, which was fine with me. And then I got a call. My sergeant got a call. And he came to me in the tent. He said, hey, you know, Bernza, you're going somewhere, huh? And I said, okay, where are we going? Because we're bored. Let's go outside the fob. Let's go play a little. We're fob, it's here for a hot minute. I mean, we're, we're rack and rounds down range. We know what we're doing here, but- How long we have rotations there? Say again? How long was your rotation there? Six months. That's right, sorry. Yeah. Canadians do about six to nine months, depending on, especially combat times, they rule six. This is, oh wait, so they keep you all- Oh, nine. Oh, nine? Yeah, yeah. Still six months y'all can get pushed longer. Because then, I remember, I think it was in 10, when I started doing the year- Yeah, after nine, they started cracking. Because nine was vicious for the British and the Canadians. We lost- In America, nine and ten, yeah, that's right. When I was with those guys, that's the only time. I wasn't with the Americans. That's an early time to be there. Yeah, it was an interesting- O-105 and O-9 and ten. Yeah, it's funny, because when I say that to people, the people who know, they go, oh, but the people do- It's either faith. Yeah, they go, wow, okay, what were you doing in O-9? I was like, oh, we're doing this and this, and like, oh, okay. And there's a difference because a lot of time, like there's war. Yeah. There, you're in combat. They're all shooting at us and that gets overlooked. Yeah. Because then the girls are all- Everyone's in combat war, but then there's- Then some of us would have to go in deeper in the combat. Yeah, there's levels to this game. There's levels and people don't understand that. I'm like, yeah, I mean, that's like it was there at this- Especially at that time. Mm-hmm. And I'm real respectful about it. I try to be like, people have to stay at calf for a reason. You need every single human in the military to be successful. That's right. You have certain fog names too. Like if you- Oh, yeah. Backed in or like some of the British ones are in Hellman and stuff. And I hear about them. Oh, I don't want to go anywhere near that. They made a documentary about the Pristrepo. Yes, that's right. Because look at Pristrepo, you heard those words and you go, I don't hate it that, but that was the sexiest deal that hanging it out like that. You know what? I'm glad that- Yeah, and that was- That was balls. No boys, yeah, the clank. Yeah. All those things they sent out there, man. There's a couple of fobs in our world that when you hear those names like that, dude. You just know. You just know the feeling. And it's a nasty feeling. So when we are with the Americans, it was nice. We only had to patrol one of our towers, the rest of the Americans covered. So that was nice. But we had the one, we would do the four hour shifts there and then on and off the guns and then we were transitioned one week with the Americans to do GD. So we could have access to your showers and then we and your food and then we would kind of stick on our little side of the guns. But the call came that I was going to go with the Brits. And so back then, like I said, they had, you know, there was women truck drivers and there was women doing frontline type positions, but there was not women on combat arms roles. And so at the time, the British needed a, what you guys now call CST, but not this type of CST that was like, let's go hang out and like feed you and talk about your village. It was like, I'm going to take you into a room and we're going to hang out. And so I was in charge of the women and kids. And so that would allow us to do full searches rather than the guys going in and say like missing rooms or like they would hide things on women. And that was a beautiful way to hide calms that they weren't supposed to have or a bunch of money that you would give away like, hey, you being paid by somebody, let's figure out why. You know, talk about when we got dangerous is when they integrated us and women and men. It's hard though. And when they, well, then you know, except we were in the house is because every time we go in, there'd be women and men. Right. Oh, that's cool. I thought you were talking about women in the military. No, no, no, I'm talking about with us. Yeah, because they get sketchy real quick. That's right. And they blame stuff on us. And then there's an actual confidence that comes when we would have the women around because they would go do their deal with the women and kids and we could deal with ours. And it was like, one, that's where we learned this. They didn't do this in the other wars. No, because they will hide things and they will use the women and children. And if you don't have somebody that can properly based off of religion and be respectful, you know, Geneva convention this thing, you can't touch them, you can't look them, you can't go near them. You talk about that for months. Exactly. So I would go in with them, but the, but what I was told was nothing. So I got picked up from the fog and I got dropped off with the Brits and they said, we're leaving at 0100. Have your stuff prepped. This is what I need you to have. We're on foot for the week. So carry what you need to carry and we'll do reloads when we can. We're not expecting to need you and we're not expecting for it to be a fight. We're going to do this. We're going out, but I was never told objective. I was never told what I was looking for. I was never told. I was told, when you, once we get off the Chinook, follow the bomb dog. So you follow the bomb dog. That's a black lab in the pitch dark. Follow that. Follow that guy in him and you stick with them because you're going to be with them and you're going to be with the medics. So we want to keep... And I know everyone's like, we want to put a lie there or a Kim lie on it. We mean so it can glow in the dark. We did that when we got... We don't do that because we don't want to glow. Exactly. Exactly. And if you see Benji kicking around with that, you know, it's like, okay, well you know. So, so anyway, I went with them and by they said, you know, the first, the first day of the operation they said, we got there in the middle of the night, first day they go, we're going to, we're going to start kicking doors after morning prayer. And so that's when you'll know like, hi, like we're going to start rolling. And what was going to happen is I was going to be passed around. I love how that sounds. I was being passed around to different units. Staging. Yeah, yeah. Tossed around with a bunch of men. And so I did. And so I, as soon as they actually kicked the first door in, they called me up right away. And then I got used and like a bicycle at that point because now it was everywhere they were going, the women and kids were staying. And it got nasty. So every time we moved to a different compound, there was firefights. It was just, it was not what was expected. And the only reason I believe I was able to be successful, not only successful, but I was able to be a useful additive rather than just somebody that was searching women and kids and actually doing the door kicking and actually salting the rooms was because my sergeant, Mark LeBlanc at the time, had remustered from Infantry 2 Artillery. And while we were doing workup when the other guys were getting days off, we were house clearing. We were doing our weapons training. We were running and gun. We were making sure that there was no chance in my mind that I didn't know how to clear a room properly. I did not know how to not shoot and move. I made sure that I wasn't a liability. I was an asset. And that was all I wanted to do. Simple. Plenty of practice back then because they knew we were coming. Because we were waiting for the prayers. Yeah. How about that? Nice guys, right? Nice guys, because we got to be respectful. They don't wait for shit. But we're going to wait for that. After breakfast, time for the Americans to come home. And three, two, boom. Boom. That's what they would do. All day. Like clockwork, like clockwork. So then the situation, we end up having that week end up being so bad. So by the end of it, I end up getting pulled and brought to the doctors and they diagnosed me and they started putting me on heavy drugs right away. It was a whole thing. And basically, we don't have to get into it. I've told the stories before. They're in the book. They're graphic and they're aggressive and they're what more is. There is loss. There are IEDs, there are firefights, there are close calls. There are things that happen in war, that happen in war. And so we go through that. But I try to say this. And because this is not a war book. This is not a war story. That is a blip of a moment of my life. And everyone wants to focus on that. And that's OK. And I'm cool with it, because I did get to do something not a lot of women did it. And I'm proud of that. Oh, yeah, sure. Well, it's great. That's because it's a great story. And it's exciting. Thank you. And well, you're welcome. And when you stack something, most people will go through life and have one of your moments to hang on. Yeah. Just one. Yeah. I'm not, and then you have a lot in one arena. And then you go out and get into another arena and have more. Yeah. And so that all happened. And ultimately, I got sent back once we were, I finished the operation with the British. I did what I needed to do. Like, I was their asset and it worked. And it worked out. Came back with a lot. And we had a lot of ramp ceremonies and a lot of things went on. And then they medicated me. And they sent me back to my fob. Here's what they didn't do. They didn't tell my superiors I was on drugs. And when I say drugs, I mean, 11. And I was 100 pounds. So I was highly over-medicated, running a machine gun in a triple seven. So stuff started to happen. And I almost pulled a trigger on somebody outside the fob, who was a little girl that was normally there. When I was seeing her waving, it wasn't waving, though. And so I caught myself in that moment. And I ran to the Comstand. And I said, something's wrong. Because I went from talking a lot to not saying a word. And for them, they're like, OK, this is a, we got an issue here. And then I just stopped sleeping. What do they have you on? Oh, I would have to look at the list. But I actually just recently saw it when I was doing my TBI paperwork. But it's an anti-psychotics, anti-depressant sleep medication, uppers, downers. You name it, it was just, we need to get her to sleep. We need to make sure that she's not having outbursts. We need to make sure that she's not falling apart. It was those types of drugs. So it was a, it was a flat line of a numbing. I tell you what, man, they made our generation into it. I was like, I'm not a resident expert, but I'm good enough to know if someone doesn't know what in the hell they're talking about. And when it comes to drugs, we are dialed. Our generation can not only tell you what does what it'll do to some type of person, how it does, if they're doing, and where they're at in the routine. And the long-term damage. And what I was talking about, PTSD is pharmaceutical training stand by for dosage. Are you a few years or even decades out of school already? Wondering what the heck did I even learn? And what was the point? If you're craving a deeper, more meaningful understanding of the real world, I'm here to tell you it's not too late. With subjects like history, economics, literature, and the meaning of the US Constitution, Hillsdale College can teach you the fundamental truth about subjects that can actually affect our daily lives. And even if you have learned them, it's always nice to have a bit of earth pressure. 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That shit is brilliant. It came to me in the morning. I don't like that. I'm here for that one. It's all yours. I'm using that now. That's great. But that's true. It's right. We were vending machines for the government. I can tell you what that stuff is. If we had to be trial and error and trial and education to estimate evaluation, which basically we sign up for, I get that. Now you know what some of that stuff does, especially because we've been doing it for years. Yeah. And that's why I'm not on any of it anymore. Yeah. Nothing. I want you to take an aspirin. No. That's a rarity if you have to take a pain pill. And you've got to be like. And I'm thinking about it too. I'm like, man, look at that sucker. Yeah. I'm the same way. Yeah. But we had to become the educated group of that. So after all that happened, I went on my HLTA, which is our break that we get. And it was HLTA. Not sure. And it stands for something. But we went and I met my mom somewhere in the Dominican week because they can fly your next kin. And we spent three weeks together. And that was the worst weeks of my life. And outside of the actual operation, because my mom saw, my mom saw the side of me that she didn't recognize. She saw what her, you know, what war looks like with a child. And she didn't know how to deal with it. And I was 19. So it was a, I came back to Afghanistan. And it just got nasty in the calf. I would start popping off on superiors if I didn't have, because if I didn't have any rounds in my magazine, and you're walking on a calf, you'll get ripped for it. I didn't have any left, because I used everything I was given, and I was never given anymore. My braid was too high. They would reap me for that. So I started just warring officers, just telling them where to go. And so they were like, OK, this is, you can see there's a reaction. And nobody knew how to deal with mental health at the time. Nobody understood that the reactions that we're giving were disproportionate for a reason and not intentional, but because my frontal lobe had shut down. And I didn't have an executive function control. I couldn't stop myself because I was not functioning. So they sent me back three weeks early to my old unit. No one was there. They gave me a piece of paper. Said, drive the auto while you're out. Peace, see you later. Never saw my guys again. Never was contacted again. Military didn't call for six months. And that's when things got really dark. And that got really bad. And that's when the suicidal ideations, and then I was medically released in 2011 with a 3B med release told I would never work again. And then at that point, who's now my husband, I was with my boyfriend at that time, and I moved out there. And that's when I got new doctors and a new team. And I'm with the same psych that I got then. And he served in Bosnia and Rwanda. And he was one of the first doctors in Canada to do research on PTSD veterans. And he is a veteran. So he served, he understands me. He's like, it looks like he's from Texas. He beats my ass when I need it. And he has corrected me and course corrected me. And at that to that point where it got to, up to 2020 again, where I was getting worse. We didn't know why. I had gotten off of a lot of the stuff. I had a successful company. We had done all the markers. We were on L and we had Kevin Hart. We had Julie and Huff. We had Michael Booby. I should have been fine. I had a child, a healthy marriage. I had everything I needed. But I was getting worse. You know what that is, right? That's a wartime attitude. And a civilian world trying to raise, look what you said. I know. What you've accomplished that most people never even think about doing that. But since you did it with a war mentality, a war fight in mentality, you don't appreciate it. You can't celebrate it. I just did it as our therapy to get my life through it. Just as a fricking thing to do as a mission. That's exactly what that is. And I came up with this one the other day too. So when we come in, I can we come when we check on board and you start to worry it's like walking into the gym. And you don't get out of the gym too, we get out. Then the soreness comes in. Because every time we go through something horrible, normally there's a break. And most people who experience something horrible once or twice. So we always have them. But then there's no downside for us. I was just stack one more thing on top of it. So it's like played after played after played. So then when we get out and we're by ourselves, that was another horrible thing that has another isolation therapy. So you gotta look at everything that we went through is they were doing something to us, not like it was happening to us. Or not like it was happening to us. Like hey, this is just like all the specialized training we have. I switched it in my head like that. I was like, okay, you want to run that stuff too and see what it turns me into fine. I'll show you what it turns me into. Yeah, and then you would just keep going. And then the next one, there's always somebody ahead of you and behind you. Absolutely. All right, check. And that's why they put us out one-on-one. So when we reconnect, I'm like, hey sister, I got you, man. I know exactly where you're coming from, where you're coming from. It's hard because I talk to a lot of people, I do a lot of podcasts, but if I'm not in a military podcast, and I'm having these conversations, they're like great entrepreneurship, great business mindset, great blah, blah, blah. I'm like, no, you don't get it. I'm not, I don't consider myself an entrepreneur. I guess technically I am by definition. I'm, yes, I guess I'm technically an author. Yes, I guess I'm technically this. But what I was doing was my friends are all committing dying, sorry, that's the new, dying by suicide. And they're doing it out of pace that I do not mind acceptable. How do I help? I don't know. So why don't I start helping myself and then give myself the tools to then go and help others? And that is what it is. It's never like I was setting out to do this and this and I had goals and aspirations. It was, I want to survive, I want to live, I want to be on this earth and want to actually be on this earth. Yeah, your survival turned into a business, but it was, it was really your own survival. Well, you know, when we get healthy is when we look just like you said, like that. If I can put in one more, my freaking guys take their life, I'm gonna lose it. And that's how I feel. And I, well, and that's what happens to you. It's like, I don't worry about anything about myself. I don't have problems at all, because I see my freaking guys. And when you turn around in our teammates and same with you, like we're connected by that uniform and almost freaking wars they stuck us in. And then when you get a crew that's had to go through that and then we have to suffer like this, then it's like that, you know, that's been stronger. That's a different level. The, what you do when, and I don't think the government realized that, because veterans affairs, they got no idea. They fucked up, sorry, veterans affairs in Canada and the United States are almost the exact same, right? We love to just neglect, neglect, neglect, neglect. In Canada, we offer medical assistance and dying instead of treatment. I mean, they've stopped now, because they got caught. Well, my point is, what they did is they made a bunch of veterans from GWT go, we're gonna test all this stuff on you, we're gonna test you in war, we're gonna test you at home. One hundred percent, just. But all you did was make us incredibly dangerous, pissed off individuals. That's it. Dude, GWT stands for God's Warriors of Terror. You can't put whatever war you send your kids into is gonna mold them. So you sent us to terror. We already knew we had no face, no uniforms, man, women, children, 20 years, two different environments, mountain and city, and everything in between. And then you just kept putting us back in there. And then once people got out, it doesn't matter, you're not out. You're connected to your people who are still in there. So then you, not only can you not do anything about it, you gotta listen to it. And then all the drugs and everything else, you can't, they don't know what they created with GWT. They don't. And here's the other thing too, I know. It's like for me when I was in, because I was so low row, I was so, I ranked so low, like where I was when I got excited. I only did four years, right? Because they med released me. It wasn't my choice. That was my career. I wanted to be career. I was slated for another tour the following year. I was ready for this life and I was happy with this life. That's what my mission set was. But when they medically released me and did all of that, I even when I was in, I wasn't super hyper connected, right? Because I was with a French unit, didn't speak a lot of French at the time. But dear God, I started this business and I stepped into the civilian world and I started educating civilians on what goes on in the military transition in the veteran community. And then COVID happened. And then I said, you know what? I'm tired of educating ungrateful individuals who do not give a flying fuck about what happens to us, whether we are homeless, whether we are drugged out of our mind, whether there's an alcohol situation happening, whether it's 22 or 44. Some people will care, you're right, they will. There are subset. And I love those humans because they are, they don't know it, but they make a huge difference. Some civilians that show up for others who actually express that, hey, this is a big deal. You guys should care more about this. I appreciate those, like Neil, he's one of those guys. But once people in America and Canada started to take notice in the military world about what I was doing with my company and how loud I had been and how, or what some people like to say, you're too loud, you're too obnoxious and you swear too much. Okay, so what's David Goggins then, a male version? So that's okay. So I go out, I make all this noise and I start screaming about people that are killing themselves at a pace that is just so beyond unacceptable. That's when people started to take notice. That's when people in the community started to reach out. And now I'm a hub and I said this to you. I'm a hub for people because I've been screaming about suicide prevention since 2016. And I'm glad with that, but it's a heavy, it's heavy. And I'm okay with that because I now know how to deal with the weight of it. But it shouldn't be at the pace that it is. It is not needed, it is not the answer. It's not acceptable. And the fact that everyone around us goes, you know, it's cool. Let's keep just drinking a whole bunch of alcohol and let's not address the problems and have the hard conversations with our friends because we're afraid of, you know, being embarrassed or we're afraid of admitting something's wrong. I do not agree with it. I do not accept it. It is not okay in my world. And so I call people out on it and I say, hey, that's a depressant. What are you doing? Why aren't we trying fitness? Why aren't we trying nutrition? Why aren't we trying outside and grounding and looking at religion? Because we understand, you know, organized religion as that goes down, you're seeing a subset of people that feel lost because they're not connected to anything. So that's when I found psychedelics because I was a born Catholic. So I did, you know, I did the whole communion and baptized that that that that that that that that that, but I was never connected because it was forced down my throat. In a way, I did Catholic school and all, you know, the whole thing. So I never felt connected to anything. So I never had that, that greater feeling. I went and this is because of a ranger. I know you, I'm so sorry, I had to say it. I don't want to break it. I can talk smack, I got a dog name ranger. I know you do. So I feel like there was some love. It's okay to say it. Yeah, I know it is. They know it. I know. So I started my podcast in 2021 in October 2021. Yeah, cause no, sorry, 2020, cause it's all, it'll be three years this year. And my husband said to me, like, you know, you need, you should get some sponsors, right? And then he goes, what about that company was on Shark Tank that puts bullet casings into flip flops? Like, why don't you reach out to them, you know, cause I own the, I have the patent on jewelry for bullet casings and in sunglasses. And then they've got like flip flops. So he's like, so I reach out and Matthew Griffin hits me back immediately. He's like, yeah, we go together like peanut butter and jelly. And I was like, let's go. And then yeah, he did a best email ever. I still have it. That's pretty good. I know he's, he's quick like that. Yeah, and so I, my husband goes, well, you know, if you want to actually make this show successful, you better get Balzine started asking people to be on it. And I was like, goddamn. So then I was like, you want to come on the show? And then like 20 seconds later, honest to God, I'd love to. And I was like, oh my God, oh, oh, because I never dealt with special operators. And I always saw those individuals as people I aspire to be like, meaning an asset, never a liability, always shows up, always make sure as people, never once, no one's ever left behind, I value those individuals and their character and their integrity. So that's who I am, you know, emulate. You want to be like the best, hang out with the best kind of deal, right? And so he came on the show, at the end of the show, it was a virtual one, he leaned in and he does this. If you guys know Matthew Griffin, from combat flip flops, he does this. He looks into your soul. So he looked into the camera and he goes, you good? And then I go, yeah, I think it's great, right? He goes in again, are you good? And I was just, it's something just buckled. When we got talking, he goes, listen, there's this organization called the Hero of Hearts Project and there's a ceremony in 30 days. And I go, but I'm on an SSRI and he goes, well, you can't be. And I went, Roger, okay, I know what needs to happen now. Called my doctor and I said, I'm getting off of this. And he goes, you've been on that for a decade and I said, no, I'm not calling to like ask permission here. I'm getting off of this, I'm going to do this. I'm giving you a heads up so if we call you, something goes sideways in the next four weeks, you know why. And he goes like, all right, cool. And so I got online with Jesse from Hero of Hearts and I went down and I did my first set of Iawaska ceremonies and it was the first time. And this is a big deal and I'll tell you why. When I left the Canadian army, I was left. No one called, no one knew where I was, no one cared. And I felt that and I knew that. And when I came down to where we went, I walked into a room and there was a black water guy and a seal and a ranger and a ranger and a Marsoctude and all of these dudes and I sat down and I didn't say a word and I was the only woman, Shocker. And they all came over and hugged me. And I said, welcome in, sister. And I felt like I had a community again. And that was a big deal for me. And ever since then, those are my tribe, those are my pack, those are my boys. They show up for me. When my husband collapsed, they showed up for me. These guys, Griff and all of these people, they show up for me. And to not only have it from such high level individuals who take character and integrity as everything. And ever since then, I've never been on I'm pharmaceutical drug. Ever since then, I've worked so deeply woven into this community with these organizations and getting everyone help. If you have access to me, I will make the call for you. And everybody knows that. I will drop what I'm doing. Half the time my husband goes, what do you do all day? You're on the phone every second of the day I see you. If you're not podcasting, I said, I'm making calls because this guy needed this and this guy needed this and this guy's wife just left and this guy's wife just died and now he just died and now his kids need this. So I will put myself last because the one thing I was taught in Ayahuasca is I was given an animal a way for me to connect to something deeper and that animal stands for leadership and that animal eats last and that animal is always at the back of the pack and make sure no one is left behind and it's the wolf and that is me and that's how I feel for my community. I will fight for my community. And I was taught that you don't have to fight every battle. You don't have to bite anymore. You can just sit back because you have a tribe. You have a pack of people. You're not in this alone anymore. And so these guys, I've sat with now, I sit with Ayahuasca on a pretty regular basis and I use the medicine to connect and heal and now I'm finally at a point where I feel good and I feel great and then I did brain treatment and I'm like, I'm on some new shit and when I say I got dangerous, it's a scary level to feel this good. It's scary. And so now I give everything I have to this community through my business, through my podcast, through my book, through anything I do, my charities I work with, I show up, I don't care what you need, you just need to ask. And that comes down to the, you just need to ask for help conversation that I don't care if you're a six foot five, 300 pound bad dude. If you're struggling, you need to ask for it. I attention, military members and families. Are you ready to tackle home ownership in this high rate market? Navy Federal Credit Union is here to help you every step of the way. 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Long-term, too. Which is awesome, right? Would you turn me into yeah that kind of thing? Yeah, but yeah They're absolutely is a way out. There's a hundred percent of way out But what was wild for me? And I don't know Maybe this is Fuck it. I asked personal questions. How'd you feel would afghan pull off pull out went out? It's a kind of the rest of us. Yeah. What are you talking about? We all fight. Yeah I asked the fighter know exactly what that was yeah, yeah That's what we don't say anything I mean you know, I mean you could feel it right now What are you talking about? No, the reason I say it's because I've asked a couple people and it's been an interesting response But the reason I bring it up is because in when that happened Even though I wasn't in anymore Because of the community that I just built around me That's how I got involved in the pull out and I got pulled back to that But what it gave me the opportunity was was Griff called again All of our guys went back in yeah exactly you guys went back in and I couldn't go Canada Blacked out on that we didn't help any of the Canadians we left there at all So Griff called and he said I got a pack of nine I got the VIP there she's the head of the women's rights for the afghan government and her families on the list There are nine packet Canadians. I can't get them. You're gonna have to pull them So because of the community I'd created around me and the people that we've helped we used Instagram and signal and then the Americans on the ground By the time I annoyed enough people I got to the top with a few people and I had a bunch of guys a guy named Austin Who was an ex? I believe Ranger Former Ranger and he was doing some contracting stuff And they went Yeah, they just just to do it because they needed to be done like all that air America on TV shows You know the movies about guys sneaking in there and something we're doing that Yeah, and it was the best feeling and what I got from that was I got to go close a chapter I got to go help some people and close a chapter in my life that I didn't get the clothes because of how I left afghanistan So I ended the book on that because That was a it felt like a full circle healing moment for me Where I did not have to regret the way I left that country. I didn't leave anybody behind Well, here's deal is we're not designed like the other commits for where G. Watts means we go in there for a fight Like a daily an individual boom boom boom boom the big big over thing when people talking about all the equipment guns All the armament everything that we left there that upsets people all I started telling people so hey Look we left it there. So if we need it. We don't have to fly we have to just do it. It's just we're saving There saving more shipping. Yeah, tires are gonna move the tires for us. That's right. I'm gonna rotate it Yeah, people underestimate what we can do Historically, that's what every war is done. Yeah, they leave it if we went we were able to go back to Pellilu in World War 2 And they fought in the Pacific the battle of Pellilu We I mean it was out in the middle of fucking nowhere And we went out there There are still all the tanks Yeah, American tanks all the anti-aircraft guns Literally all of the weapons And that would be the jungle It's easy if y'all vacation Yeah, yeah, the jungle just grew over it. Yeah, it's just good And you can just go there and see it. There's nothing protecting it There's nobody like standing guard saying that's like the one that Stuff in a lot of places in France stuff. We did um my husband and I did the 75th anniversary of D day. Oh cool We rode uh for you for doing that. Well, we flew over and we did well did a charity event We rode 600 kilometers on road bikes and raised money So we landed on Juno Beach, but we got to go see all the guns and wherever we're all the Germans were all the Canadians were and they're still They're still canon, so they're still guns there. There's still art for people who don't understand We're talking about driving through America and seeing old rusty cars and someone exactly it's like But it's all it's military hardware Shocks the system a bit because you go I mean with the rounds with with the rounds It's just all russet and it's like the earth is just sucking at that What we've all that's what America has always done is leave its equipment. So yes, it is very Disheartening how so we can make new one? How I know why you got to have a reason, but you got to have a reason to keep the train going don't we? That's right. Keep people job Send it to make something new come up with new Canada's got no guns right now We have nothing we sent it all to Ukraine all the triple sevens are gone. We got nothing So we got to make new ones. We order them from you guys We're talking about the day because of satellites I mean like we have the ability to go into the room and three dimension. Oh, yeah, you know everyone else does of course Any war that we're gonna go down right now. They're gonna know where we're at all times Yeah, it's just it's not even it's pointless. It's just a field Yeah Sneaking around anymore. It's not like it was I know you know, it's really funny as I always thought it would be when I was like 90s 90 years old Because I never planned on writing a book like that wasn't like the aspirations and I always make joke about Navy sales I always say like It you know your books written by buds. I'm joking chill out But I always I always make little jokes because I comes from a place of love But I never planned on that and I don't think anybody really does plan on doing it But I always pictured it's my husband joke He's like you're gonna be the 90-year-old in a rocking chair sit with a bunch of your friends Wasn't like that in our day Though There as well. That's a point. I know he's like you're 33. I thought we had some decades on this before we were gonna Oh my gosh, so it's yeah, it's been a trip and it's been a wild you know wild spot But I'm to be honest with you. I'm just I'm just getting my legs under me I'm just getting my wheels started and I'm just I'm just at a point now where I feel good enough to start taking on everything I've always wanted to take on and set those goals. Oh, we say like this So join in the military and then going through the wars was just the initiation to get to this You're not in a club yet back then when you're in no you get it when you get out. Yeah, exactly That's the right a pass. Uh-huh. It's just like college university We had the extended tours and we know we're the hands-on kids and that's how it worked for the hands-on kids They would sense that up in the field and back to Babylon That's right. So now that you're out now you graduated, so you got to recover from it Yeah, and now we go Yeah, and you got to be like listen I had so many people help me so you have to now it's your responsibility to take the hands of at least five other people And go this is how we do this because no one did it for me for a decade And I was very lucky when it happened because I don't know that I would still be here And I can say that in all confidence and Not to boast, but that's the reality and I don't think people fully grasp that and so when you have been given It's you have to you have it's your duty now to give you just have to keep giving and that's how things change And you have to be loud about it and I'm okay with being loud about people don't like that Especially I found in certain areas of America that is not as welcomed You know the loud woman conversation. I don't give a shit I don't care if I make you uncomfortable good if I made you uncomfortable I made you uncomfortable for a reason I made you look inward and see something you didn't like to see Okay, well, if it's in there then let's address it don't don't blame the voice Right look inward. What is it that irritated you? You know what it is my light irritates a lot of people You want like like that then let's get healed and we can do the shit together. You don't have to do it alone Yeah, that's the difference So yeah, that's where we're at now So how did you find your the Therapist that you did end up liking I didn't find him. I got cared so So this is that situation where you hear about the people who are like oh, I got a good case manager But 99% of the people got shit bags. Yeah, I got handed to Dr. Passy because I moved to British Columbia with my husband lived and He was at the operational stress stress injury clinic and I fell into his hand and in his care and it's like I don't know whether he saw like a daughter in me or he just saw that I I wanted to feel better But I just didn't know how and once he we figured out my language meaning like how do I teacher because I'm not the person who you can say like this is uh, you know tell me tell me about how hard it was Let's do exposure therapy. That doesn't work for me. Tell me what's going on with my neurons Tell me why my frontal lobe isn't working Tell me how we get it going again Tell me the tools and I'll go do it But you have to talk to me a certain way to educate me enough to Then go okay, that's why that feels my way. Okay, so if I do this. Yeah, like I that's how I work and so once he found my language You can see it and it's almost as if um Like some people try that to have it Yeah, some of us like just by a warm by design It's almost like every time you go out it puts a piece of armor on you So imagine most everybody walking around looking like a robo cop armor. They don't even know they have it on You don't even know you're wearing it. Right, right? That's the problem But then there's people who who had to go through the same thing they can see it and they're like okay, yes Then uh, but then because you don't if you're not knowing you don't act you're not acting the It crosses itself and you can see it. I can see it from a mile away I can see it where you stand. I can see the way you move and I can see it in your eyes Yeah, that'll make people and that makes others uncomfortable because they When they're talking to me they realize I can see it and and and that's the way I've been since I've been itty bitty Right, and then once I started using plant medicine And I started really going inward and I started doing the work and I really started to listen and to really hear and I was like, oh, this is about to piss some people off because I don't mean to do it But I can see it in people and I can't not address it like I just I can't I have to Because if somebody walks by and I know that they were struggling and I could see it and I'm like Oh, and then they walk away Something ever happened or they did something I would be very disappointed in myself for not just having the balls to be like Dude, what is going on with you and how do we fix this? What did have you told him? Do you still talk to him? Oh, yeah, like I we text like I see I talk to him every week So I still do treatment every week. What is his thought on plant medicine? So he so he comes from the old school world of like where you know, you know, drunk or mad Um, but he's also a very brilliant individual and he goes These pharmaceuticals are killing people These pharmaceuticals are wreaking havoc long-term on men and women. They are causing problems. They are not fixing problems They are numbing you. They are not healing you When I I was his first Besides cannabis because he he was the person to get cannabis pass for veterans to have access to Canada So I can order cannabis On a website and it comes via FedEx and my tax dollars pay for it And I get X amount and I get X amount a month And so that's how that works. So he knows how that works now I was his first patient to bring up some psychedelics and I said to him look like I don't need you to I don't need you to believe in it I don't need you to do anything with it. I just need you to trust that this is where I'm at and I'm I just need your support He started crying on the phone And I said I hope that you feel Even one percent of the peace I feel right now With what you went through in Bosnia and Rwanda because he was there doing the genocide as a medic So I said I want that for you So desperately because now I see the herd in him But I know he's gotten to a point where he's good, but I also see the deep rooted things in him. Yeah, and Once that happened he started to become educated on psilocybin He spoke on a panel on psilocybin panel with me advocating for micro dosing as a form of anti-depressant property and macro dosing for trauma And then once you know people started to you started to see Johns Hopkins and you started to see Harvard You started to see all these stand these amazing studies and research. It's undeniable in terms of a healing and then I was asked to be a patient zero for a clinical trial in Canada now for a macro dose level for psilocybin To get veterans access So if this trial goes well with me then all other Canadian veterans are going to have access And to be paid for the same way to go through treatment that heroic hearts projects do and that vet solutions does and that these You know cxc and all these organizations do to get our vets help because we know It takes from within the community to heal the community No one else is going to do it for us. Right, and we've seen that. Oh when I started. Yeah We're advocates are asked because we are advocates for plant medicine and One of the things that I'm trying to do from the inside out is Going to those kind of old school Therapist and the good guys. I mean not not the Yeah, whatever. I mean there's like the open-minded individuals who just want to see people heal Yeah, that are really interested in in result and in just getting their take on it's why I asked what he thought because um That's who we have to I think reach first and then on another level we have to reach the evangelical world because we do have this huge It's the sound bite of psychedelic it scares us the word scares us But what happens when look at look at everything else we've been fearful of and what we do when we are fearful of it instead of just trying to understand it Right, well, so I'm on your side on the 100% I in I am a very faith-based person. Um, I do I am a devout Catholic But I also believe in plant plant medicine and I wholeheartedly advocate for it because I know that it's connected Isn't it it's what God created? It's what brought what's what God it shows us what God intended for us to be And I Can't use it. Yeah, you can't it's not abusable. I mean it's a free. I mean Yeah, that's what psychedelic and great and people don't understand that like that's um So I just finished now that you can't you don't want to either exactly and so I just finished my integration coaching program So I'm gonna be working with psychedelic and integration and veterans before they do programs now Which is I'm I'm so grateful for that because There's right ways to do this and there's wrong ways to do this. Yes, when the best way I've come down to explain in one words balance 100% and I I have such a great time and I laugh openly So I don't want to put anything in front of that right right like people like I drink or I want I was like man I wouldn't never put anything in front of no happy. I I'm truly happy and balanced. I am yes Because there is a dip why are you talking about psilocybin in particular went all of that from all I had to deal with the match. I beggined. Yeah Yeah, so you understand though that a lot of these psychedelics are plant medicines and when there's a plant medicine There is a energy that's to it right and so when you mess with this stuff This stuff is serious. This is not to be trifled with this is not for fun for partying This is for work and healing and you have to have that level of respect for the medicine. Those are just I agree with that's the best way to try with those are just words because when you grab that when it gets old You don't even oh yeah, no I compare it to because people you know Should it ever be legalized as a free thing? No, it should be controlled because it is dangerous and you have to have Intention going in with it right and it does need to be a controlled environment and I I kind of Link it with if you need to go have surgery and you need to be put under anesthesia But you're not going to go by anesthesia off the street and do it. No, not you're going to go into a professional correct You're going to do it for the right reasons. You're not going to go in there drunk. You're not going to go in there You're going to prep before you're going to have blood work before I'm going to do the right things before there's a whole protocol that goes into Going under Score it you go to your house and yeah, and so it's not the same It's not what we were taught as drugs. I would never be okay with recreational drugs. This is not a drug That's right. This is actual medicine that is curing Alcoholism Medicine in a drug and it's healing trauma and it's not just yes our veterans are guinea pigs for this because they always are Um, but it and it's working But this can help everybody. This can help it does help everybody. It helps yeah, not it can't it if you Were raped as a child of you or in a In it also which um A lot of people don't believe in this, but as a dub a devout cop like I do believe in this is generational That's not even a Catholic thing generational trauma goes way back if you look at plant medicines And you look at tribal think and you look at indigenous and you look at Native American there is a direct You they can see actually oh my god. I'm so glad that you said that. I literally saw a post right before I came where it shows that mitochondria in the body Can hold stressors for up to 50 50 generations. I believe it is so that is generational trauma It's real. It's trackable Generational trauma is a real thing and even like they say alcoholism like yes Yes, you have to be the one to pick it up and and drink it But if your parents did that and grandparents did that and great grandparents did that You're more susceptible to doing that as a numbing effect and this can break the chain and it's And you're seeing it especially with addiction especially with drinking. I began is absolutely fantastic for addiction I waska does wonders for heart openers psilocybin is amazing for antidepressant properties and slapping snow down on those neurons and giving them the opportunity to create new pathways cannabis is fantastic for sleep It is there are weight and muscle for CBD and inflammation, which is fantastic for traumatic brain injury. So the amount That it that you need is so minimal and it can make such a powerful effect That's what scares the hell out of pharmaceutical companies. That's what scares the hell out of the go That's where the rub is big fireman is going to be our biggest it's gonna be the biggest fight It's going to be our biggest fight because the best part about being the military is we can sidestep that oh yeah Now when it comes to civilians one this in time to do it That's where you're going to see a fight big fight That's unfortunate because this could change the trajectory of how our Generations works and for generations, but it can really change everybody says you know they talk about Mental health, but they don't offer solutions other than pharmaceuticals And they are and and I said this at a senate subcommittee meeting like two or three weeks ago They are an acknowledged Failure from veterans affairs They have acknowledged it and admitted it that CBT talk therapy traditional therapy in conjunction with pharmaceutical medication is an acknowledged Failure so if we know if it's a failure Why do we keep doing the same things and expecting a different result? You have to change the record do something different and it's okay to not be sure If it's going to go well We'll give it a go because we're that desperate to heal and like I said to them Stop handcuffing us because we will find somebody to undo those handcuffs and we will go do it anyway I had to go to South America because Canada could not provide help If you can't do it you don't get to stop me from going and healing myself That's just end of conversation right and what's so crazy is all of the funding so far even with John Hopkins and yeah Stanford and right now a UT uh Dell Medical Center is doing all of these studies and it's all privately funded. Yeah All privately funded, which is insane I do understand that part of it, but in order for something to be publicly funded We probably need to run it through the trash because if you just open it up like that Yeah, if it screws up and we're all going to be publicly funded. Why don't you take your freaking time? Yeah, I get that Yeah, but we see it but why is it different than uh In the anti-depressant that's a pharmaceutical because here's the thing are They're publicly funded and they're not just publicly funded. They hide results. We know that now They only publish stats that they want people to see and even before the trial starts if there's adverse reactions They remove those people from the study Yeah, so we know that it's manipulated We understand that the data is manipulated when you look at psychedelics It's so blatantly obvious at such a high percentage that these are effective and long-term Like you never gonna see me again. Yeah, like I'm gonna go in and I'm gonna go by my way That's what you're trying to you're trying to do with all these other stuff Yes, you want to see you all the time so you'd rather have me on 60 different types of pills or I can just take this one And I want to have to come back for anything here worth so much money people are worth so much money And they don't see that like I don't get that Yeah, well, that's just cruelty. That's just evil. I feel like you're picking on me. You know that kind of thing? Yeah, yeah 100% but you should be able to heal and you should be able to have access and if that means We don't have to legalize it recreationally But we need to look at getting access and it shouldn't be That is actually that's our danger zone So there does need and that's the big thing because we were just in Washington DC talking about this and They're right now. There's a huge group of people that Are trying to legalize it decriminalization and legalize recreationally and they Are hopping on this bandwagon of veterans using it for help where that's Get off our back. What we're not trying to legalize. We're trying to decriminalize in order for us to have These legit studies done Be able to provide research to show the evidence right of the healing But a lot of a lot of research is being halted right now because it's the schedule one right so we need that Rescheduled in order to be able to have legitimate research done to be able to show okay This does need to be offered in a control safe setting And with that you can heal people exactly You're you're talking about a conversation right where I mean if you want to look at what legalize Like a decriminalization of a schedule one can do you know what they're gonna point to go look at the east side of Vancouver Yeah, we have the highest overdose rate in the world Yeah, and you know why though because they let everybody at all the psych ward so they dumped everybody onto the streets So they're using these opportunities to say that this is going to be like that But it is not so they kill themselves Well, yeah, I mean there are no notes what happens now is they allow oh so we have safe injection sites So it's open air drug consumption. Yeah, we're still the chances of you killing yourself doing that are pretty high right pretty damn high But the overdose rate is like yeah, I mean think about it. They're less for the government to worry about They're people with mental health, but then you know what you're starting to get you're starting to get stabbings left Right in center because they're bleeding into the rest of Vancouver a father was at a Starbucks with his wife And young daughter and a guy was vaping at his kid. He asked him to stop did the first mistake He turned around and took him out of his eyesight guy came up took a knife and shoved it into his jugular and everyone in Vancouver Watched it happen with their phones and no one tried to stop the bleeding and the guy sat down and waited for the cops and kept vaping In front of the mother and child while her husband blood out because we don't care About the mental health epidemic. We don't care what happens to people If it's out of sight and out of mind. It's not our problem But when you try to heal others and you put it in their eye They're struggling so hard with psychedelics because we brainwashed a population since the Nixon era to go These things are gonna make you crazy these things are gonna break your brain Well, I'm sorry. I know a ton of people some of the smartest people in the world who use psychedelics on a fairly frequent basis And they're the most grounded level headed well-perceived individuals hard-working Society contributing human beings and they're healed and they're not bleeding all over everyone else Because they've actually healed themselves Yeah, out in the streets pumping up and all that's all I've done Mm-hmm. Yeah, they're not doing that. Yeah, it's absolutely ridiculous So when you let humans take control of it, you know, it's not that they're gonna abuse it But they'll definitely try and have a good time. They're gonna they're gonna push the line Yeah, they're gonna try and have a good time with it and that's You know, say either way you want, but that's what happens Then you give it to veterans and they're like how much are you sitting with this time? And then the guy beside him goes I'm doing a little more and he goes Fuck it. I'm doing a little more and you're like oh here we go. We're gonna go find those guardrails. Come on, man Yeah Well Thank you for sharing your story today And how can people follow you get your podcast all of that can you yeah? Everything is as you can see is co-branded under brass in unity the book you guys can buy It's it's through Post Hill under Simon and Schuster so you can buy it on Amazon You can buy anywhere you can buy books. It's on pre-sale right now So it's on pre-sale until the date of release, which is July 11th So I've got between now and July 18th to sell six thousand books To be the first female G-Wat on the New York Times Busseller list and I Is it yeah, yeah, yeah, because Jessica Lynch got a national bestseller We haven't seen one that's a New York Times So I I'm trying to I'm gonna try to crack some shit and break some shit and get it done then That's my goal and so I've been I've been making that known and because I made the mistake of saying out loud And then I heard that voice in me that that imposter syndrome voice that said why did you say that you're never gonna do that? And I went watch me bitch. Yeah, so Everything is brass in unity the website's brass in unity.com. We ship everywhere in the world if Americans purchase Product from Canada. I'm from from us because I'm Canadian if it comes from America the donate Some of the big fans of Canadians I happen to be I know but some aren't because of our current climate and so If you buy from America the donation stays in America If you buy from Canada the donation stays in Canada same with Europe and Australia So we keep it fair for the veteran population and then all of our product. Oh, so it's competition. No, it's not a comp Well, I'd like to make it a competition. Okay, we can sell more books. You know what? It's a competition I'll tell you what I'll tell you what I will tell you what if My book all the sales come from America I will write a bigger check to the American organizations from that because we're writing from the book We're donating from the book. Hey, that's great. It's all about bragging rights Okay, I'll always do the most Okay, or Canadians to be honest. Well, no, we're about to find out. Okay. I know who does jewelry-wise We're about to find out. That's what to do. Who does jewelry-wise your Simon and Schuster House It's post-till and it's distributing through Simon and Schuster yet Then I'm not big enough to hit the real Simon and Schuster yet. So that's the next book working on That was probably one of the most exciting times in my life is when I got to do that I got to dress up in uniform Going to New York to all the publishing houses You know it smells like a library when you walk in there. Yeah, I was not welcomed that way Mine was shopped by my litter agent at inkwell And they shopped it and two people two people looked at it and the one had already done some war books and the other hadn't and There aren't a lot of female stories out there and I really Wanted somebody that was gonna say hey like we believe in what this is and what you're trying to achieve with this because We don't see the mother side the female side the the stuff that happens after I'm not saying like I'm not pulling the women empowerment card But I'm just saying I just happen to be a woman and this just happens to be my story and we all have stories And I think every veteran should get the opportunity to tell their story But these people believed in it and took it and so I'm happy with it now and I'm working on a second book It's on something completely different But you know this is this is cracked open a journey for me. So my goal is I want that list I think I deserve it. I think the book's good enough I think it's it's got good enough stories and enough people have come to support me with this book So now it's now it's about let's see what the veteran community will do because I do traditional TV right and they buy it because they're like Oh my god, it's a woman And then you've got the veterans who are like I don't know Was it any good? I think you did anything good Anything it's good and then and they listen to other veterans. So I'm sure what you say about me exactly That's what it is. Oh, you know, I bet they're talking about exactly what that is I talk some shit. I talk some shit. I change the name. That's the best story about having your military back And you know, it's like she's talking shit. She did. I read that so far. Yeah, yeah, exactly So that's everything's there But that's the goals and everything's brass and unity and we have our show on all platforms and patreon We started now. It's the brass and unity podcast and we talked to People like Travis Pastrana. We talked to Navy seals. You haven't been on yet. I'd love to have you on We talked to We talked to a lot of doctors TBI stuff. I want people to well and they do I somehow am able to get them to tell stories that they haven't told anywhere else because I make them feel I make that little thing in them Crack and then it just comes out So I'm honored to get to hear those stories and share those stories and the goal is to do that full time Where that can just be my career and I love it. I love every minute of it. Awesome. Thank you Thank you so much Kelsey for coming down and if you enjoyed this show Please give it a thumbs up wherever get your podcasts. I promise you'll want to keep up with everything. She's got going on She's very inspiring and you'll love love love her book Thank you guys for listening in and we'll see you next week