Finding Joy and Connection in the Garden: A Therapeutic Journey with Anya - The Garden Fairy

If you're someone who has a passion for cut flowers, our environment and wants to make the world more beautiful, you're in the right place. Whether you're growing flowers for pleasure or profit, I'm on a mission to empower flower enthusiasts and professionals to help change the world around them. Whether you're just starting out, a need in helping hand, or looking to scale as substantial flower business. I'm your Cut Flower Woman. Welcome to the Cut Flower Podcast. So thank you very much Anja, I'm so delighted to welcome Anja, notice Anja, the garden fairy to most of you on Instagram. So please tell our listeners a little bit about you, your background, where you started, how you managed to get 300,000 followers on Instagram, come on, then where did it all start? Why? Well, I have not been a gardener, I'm not a professional gardener, I only started gardening when my kids came along and my background is sales and business development. So I've been, you know, traveling all around the world and focused on business. And when the kids came along, I suddenly found myself in the garden. And what a better place to be, because yeah, I had a job like yours, traveling all over the world in sales, actually. And then when the children come away, it's just not doable, it's just not doable to get off a plane and it's just, and be away for days on end. I did it for a while, but absolutely, I mean, you know, people who follow me on Instagram know that my journey started as not as positive as it is now. I started really gardening or creating my garden as a result of my personal crisis. And it's just something that I am really passionate about today, because it kind of saved me. Wow. Okay. Why do you think about it? You know, things happen to us sometimes and there can be events that you don't expect. And it was, well, it was really my sister. So my sister was a pregnant at the same time as I was, but suddenly her boys, she was pregnant twice and obviously I've got two boys. And suddenly her boys were born with some serious issues and they were fading away. And the only thing I had at that point, obviously it was my job, but it was the garden. And I started growing things just out of desperation because there was nothing else, nothing else available. My husband was at work and I myself, I was on maternity leave. And I couldn't even go for a run because I didn't have anyone to look after my kids. And the only thing I had was a spade and a blank canvas, you know, my garden. And that's what I did. Wow. So you don't come from a background gardening or you didn't train to, I mean, your knowledge is phenomenal. Now, honestly, it's phenomenal. And I look at it and think, gosh, you know a lot, people are following you because of all of the, all of the information you're giving out and how to do this, how to do that, what you should do here, what you should do there. The amount of information is... Well, I think there's a mixture of, you know, there's information, but there's also connection. You know, I'm all about people because people make a difference to our lives and the connection you have with people, whether it's gardens or just us women, you know, the struggles we go through and as a person that comes from us as a sad situation like that, you often have people connecting with you because, you know, we lost the boys. My sister follows me on Instagram as well. She has created a garden and, you know, in a way, I think I went back to my roots because even though I am not a trained gardener, I was always observing my parents, my grandparents and what I didn't realize that obviously being diagnosed with ADHD, my brain just absorbs information whether I like it or not. Yeah, I tell you, let's talk about ADHD, which is an interesting thing and I've studied it quite a lot because lots and lots of very successful business people and entrepreneurs have ADHD and the reason they are driven and the reason is is they can take on so much information and remember it all and the reason why they can multitask and the reason why their brain is going three million times an hour is because they have ADHD. It's an actual, I think it's actually quite a good trait to have. I think obviously it has downside but in the main, if you could turn your brain off at some times that's quite interesting but in the main it drives you. Yeah, totally. I mean, you know, I only recently started understanding more about it because obviously I was diagnosed in adulthood and very often the case that the child gets diagnosed and then the mum realises, oh my God, yes, or I can recognise a few things in my children and so yes, my son was diagnosed and I realised, oh my God, that was me when I was a little girl, you know, I was very, very naughty and always had something broken, a broken leg or you know, I take risks and that's the downside of ADHD obviously but I described it as my superpower because I only started speaking English 13 years ago. I couldn't, you know, 13 years ago and I came to this country, I could not really understand much and somehow, wow, my brain absorbed horticultural vocabulary, I don't even know how and when it happened but it just kind of is like a sponge, you know, so and that is the superpower. I describe ADHD as a superpower and you're exactly right and you look at it at your children in all sorts of ways and they have all sorts of things, you know, I've had challenges with one of my children who was actually anorexic and then sort of borderland personality disorder and then went to musical theatre school which made the whole thing 3 million times worse and then has pulled out, we pulled her out of that and now she's qualified actually psychotherapist so she could analyse everything so every so often, you know, she'll come home and I say, let's do this and we need to do this real and that real and she'll say, whoa, hold on a minute, that's your ADHD mum, I love it, oh God, I've analysed every single day but out of some sort of adversity you can do something but I think, yeah, I'm with you, I think ADHD is a superpower, I really do, I think as long as you can over, as long as you know you've got it and as long as you can overcome the things like the procrastination and there's different levels of different things, you can use it, you've used it, absolutely, I mean you know what, there is a downside and there are challenges which I quite often talk about and I'm very open about it because I think it might help others, yeah, I mean you have a huge following on Instagram, you must be super proud of that because you built a community like no other, honestly and I look at it and I think, whoa, that's amazing, what you've built is a massive community. Yes and I think, well, thank you, it's, you know, I know we're all focusing on numbers especially if, you know, your background is sales like it is for me and you as well but I think it's not about, for me it's, it's, well, I know it's, it's difficult to say that it's not about numbers because it really isn't, it's about the things that make us feel good and I think, you know, the connections you have and especially since I started raising awareness about ADHD and also about dyslexia, my son is dyslexic and I've got the traits of autism which, you know, it all sounds pretty heavy but if you look at it from a different angle just like I do, you can really help people and sometimes the messages I get even on daily basis where I struggle with things and that's probably why I'm still here doing what I'm doing because I get so much positivity and some messages make me cry. Wow, wow, wow, yeah, so what you're doing is amazing. I mean your garden looks amazing too, by the way, so you're out there doing amazing gardening thing but I, I've still had quite a lot of speaks on podcasts about, I mean, the RHS is doing a massive study at the moment about mental health and gardening. I think it's a five-year study and they've employed all that 120 scientists looking into scientific reason and proving that actually mental health and gardening go together and you know, they've employed, I spoke to a girl who was doing a PhD and she's doing a PhD in mental health and gardening and not even doing the gardening, being in the garden and mental health and so it's kind of like there is this massive connection that people have just grabbing onto now. I spoke to Dr. Olivia Chappell who had some Horatio's gardens in spinal units across Britain. So basically their charity out of adversity came this charity, she lost her son. And out of this charity came all these spinal units across the UK, there are now eight and they want 11. So the idea that is if you're injured in spinal accident, you're normally in hospital for months and months and months, maybe six months and there are ideas to get out in the garden at whatever you can do. There's no, there's very little joy being in bed on a spinal unit. Get outside, they've built these gardens. They have proved through impact studies that mental health and gardening outside is the absolute must thing to do. So I'm really up for all that. I think there's something much more in it than we had ever been on. Yes, totally. I mean, I remember it well, I haven't captured well. I captured a bit of my feelings and why it helps me so much. I never, it was all happening over a period of I would say seven years, I think. And there were some messages, you know, I would get from home that were truly devastating. And I still remember pieces of the, because obviously I designed the whole garden, sounds designing, sounds quite professional. It was not designing. It was basically frantically sometimes going on my knees and digging with my, I still don't wear gloves because what I realised later was that that connection with Earth, connection with soil was for some reason and I couldn't explain it at that point. Now I understand that there is something in the soil that makes us feel good. But I would be on my knees and dig in the soil and cry. I mean, it's good that I don't have that many neighbours because, you know, I did look like I was losing my mind and I had a newborn in a little swing next to me. So you can just imagine the picture, but I don't wear it. Yeah, but it's amazing. Yeah, totally. I just, I use honey, you know, I'm a beekeeper as well. So I use honey on my, on my hands and keep them in a, in, in shape, but it's, it's incredible how much positivity we get from just being outside. Yeah, just get, yeah, just getting outside, building a pond, sitting by a pond, going for a walk, doing anything outside, anything. But yeah, hands in soil is proven. So I don't wear gloves either. Totally. So, so do you believe anyone can garden, anyone can have a girl garden. Absolutely. And that's what I promote. And, you know, not only any garden, you can create something truly amazing and everybody can do it. Absolutely. Everybody can do it. No matter how big or small your garden is, through my life, I travelled and sometimes I didn't even have a garden. I lived in central Berlin for a few years and I only had a windowsill. But I always, I always had something growing on my windowsill. Yeah, a windowsill is enough, container gardening is enough. Container gardening is quite big now, really, never was, but it is quite big now. So, so, gardening is obviously good for your mental health, but you've overcome some massive challenges. What's been your biggest learning along your journey? This journey has been quite, quite a journey. What's been your biggest learning? And, you know, I think it's accepting things. As an IDHD person, you know, and especially the traits of autism, I struggle with changes and things like being out of control. But I think I've learned to accept and the garden helped me to learn how to let things be and let things go. And just simply accept whatever happens around us, just accepting it. Lots of failure in the garden, isn't there? It's about it failed, move on, that didn't germinate, do it again. And maybe that's it. And also with gardening, it's a bit like any creative process. You have to be in your hero now, it's like now, you're doing this now. You can't think about tomorrow or yesterday or it's about doing your job, you set out to do today. And that's about being in the present, I suppose, which is why it's so good. Absolutely. So what are you most proud of besides influencing your massive community and getting people involved in gardening? You know, I think today I am so grateful. And in a way, proud as well that I have managed to heal my heart and to heal my soul. You know, I was totally devastated and heartbroken. And to the point that I really thought I'm going to lose my mind. And I've managed to stay stable. I do have loads of mental support now. I have probably more than most people with ADHD because I have decided that I really need to take it serious to be able to help other people. But I'm so, so proud of the fact that I'm still here and I can now raise awareness and help other people. Which is massive. Which is massive, isn't it? If you raise awareness, if you talked about ADHD even one way years ago, I'm not sure many people would have owned up to thinking they had it. And certainly when they've got adult diagnosis. And I think, yeah, even in two years, well, we've come with it. And just mental health as a whole where we are with it. So finally, we can make big inroads. Yeah, I mean, what's next? What's your plans next both in the gardening and what you're doing, what comes next? Writing a book or are you going to do it? Well, I think, you know, I need a bit of a break. So I'm going to probably take a sounds quite a massive, but I'm thinking of like a week or two. I was thinking, she's going to practice the practical for the whole month. Yes, I, yes, I don't really know. You know, it's been quite a journey. And obviously now I, I would definitely, I would like to raise more awareness about ADHD. So I would like to find a charity that I will support. So, you know, just making a plan. I think this summer, I'm going to take a break to figure it out. What's next? Yeah, there are definitely so many things you could do. You have this massive audience. You have this audience that are brought into what you're doing and your ADHD and your gardening and your following and your emotion, your journey. And it's all really powerful. It's like, now what really in a way, isn't it? It's like, where'd you take it to the next level? Because you can, you can obviously get a million followers and two million followers and three minutes. So what, what happens next? What it's, I think it's really exciting, you know, you can have a radio show or write a book or get involved with a charity or do something completely different. Or I don't know this. The main thing is, you know, and I am often expressed that I think I would like to do something meaningful. As you might know and people know I'm really passionate about the environment as well. And, you know, when we talk about moths, they sound quite, you know, like what? Moths. But there are so many things that people are not aware of. And obviously living with a botanist and a butterfly breeder and a moth breeder, I do. Oh, it's all about the environment in our house. And I'm truly passionate about it. So, you know, using your voice for something meaningful, because at some point I guess, you know, I will be retiring. And just knowing that I still have that time to make a difference, to make a difference to, you know, women's and people's mental health, children's mental health, neurodiversity and the environment. That is my priority. Definitely, I've read a lot. I did way back. I mean, when I did my degree, which was way, way many, many years ago, about 40 years ago, I did a degree. If you think 40 years ago, an environmental science. And I have no idea what I did it, because I wasn't clever enough to go and be a doctor. So I thought, I know I've got these 3A levels. I'll go in. Oh, that course looks quite interesting. I'll go there. I had no idea what I was going to do really. It just was down to uni really. And so, off I drove 4 hours from home in my little late 50 minute, and I started this 3-year degree course. And it was amazing. But you can imagine this was in the early 80s, at which case the environment was just beginning. And you think there was 40 years ago, and we still haven't learned. We still haven't learned. We were doing then the ozone layer and an environment and climate change. And we're still 40 years on. And really, if I was really honest, nothing's really changed in those 40 years. I don't know where it is, but it's still nowhere near what it needs to be. And so, like you, I'm extremely passionate about the environment. I read somewhere yesterday that by 2050, which I don't think I'll be on this planet by 2050, but by 2050, the UK will have the climate of Barcelona. So if we have the climate of Barcelona, we're going to have really hot summers. We're going to have no water. We're going to have to think about what we're going to do about rainwater harvesting and going forward. And that's, so if you think between now and then, we're going to be moving to a much more Mediterranean climate. How does that, how does that affect our growing and how does that affect our plants? And what do we do about our wildlife and what do we do about? No. Also, how do hedgehogs get water and what we're going to do out of these? And it's just like. Yes, it is, but you know, it's obviously not good for our mental health. To feel this, well, we have to take actions. And when you take actions, you feel good. You feel like you're making a difference. And it could be every single one of us can make a difference. And it is depressing. I made changes this year, even to, you know, ports and how I designed them based on the climate change, which can be really, really depressing. But we can still make a difference. And we should not give up. We should all still think the way, you know, what we promote. We should make a difference. We should save things. We should reuse, you know, that's, that's the way forward. 100%. 100%. If every person does one little thing, you know, whatever that happens to be, reuse, recycle, we look at our water consumption. We look at ponds, we look at our habitats, we look at bees. You keep bees as well, do you? I've always thought about bees, but I don't like honey. So I was kind of thinking, what will I do with it all? But I would like to have bees. Yes, it's additional, you know, it's additional task, you know, my days are filled with, and then yours are, I'm sure as well. So if you think of bees, you know, people always think of bees as, I would love to have a few bee hives and just sit there and watch the bees. Yeah. Well, it's a quite a challenge to have bees. No. Yeah, it is. And it's quite a challenge to have all of it really plants, bees, land, holidays are quite difficult. You know, when we go on holiday, which we're just about, we are just about to go on one. We have to get some people to move into our house because, you know, what happens to everything while you're not here, it's kind of doesn't stop, does it? And then you're looking at the climate, you think? Yes. No rain. Absolutely. So it's kind of like, yeah, it's a bigger responsibility, but I do love it. But I, I suppose come full circle with the environment, you know, you're talking about 40 years ago, I've come back to it in a way. So I'll do what I can do while I'm here and influence as many people as I can to grow things. And whether that's edible or whether that's flowers or whether it's for the environment, but just get out there and do it. Definitely. Yeah, I can see me be out. I can see you do something environmental. Yeah, you've got lots of ways you can go. That's kind of, yeah, it's quite exciting. You're next year, I shall watch you with real interest because it's really exciting. Well, you have so much. Yeah, I mean, it's, you know, it's full on, but I do, I do love, I do love a challenge. You know, it keeps me alive. And sometimes you just think, you know, what's next? You know, we've seen it all, you've, you shared, you told people, but there is always something. You know, there's not a day. And perhaps it's just my ADHD that I constantly find things that are just so exciting. You know, and it's just never ending. Yeah, no, you're to do this will never end. That's the truth. It will just get bigger and bigger and you'll add more things to it and you'll find different ways. And, you know, yeah, it's, I will watch you with absolute interest in this next year. And who do you think your inspiration, who keeps you going through all this? This is some days must be quite a challenge. Here we go again. What is your inspiration? Do you know, I think it's my, it's my, my, my background. It's my, the people that meant so much to me, you know, my grandmother and my mother-in-law, they were the people that I am, that keep me going, you know, they gone, but they're not gone really because they are now in my heart and they are in my garden. And they do inspire me and especially the two women, you know, my, my, my grandmother and my mother-in-law, both incredibly inspirational in many ways on many levels. And sometimes I wish they could be here and see it all happening. And they kind of keep me going. And again, as I said, in a way, they are. Yeah, they are still here. Yeah, very strong independent women, I imagine. Definitely. But you're here. I think you're, you're here to make a difference. I think there's, there's something you can really do. And I think, you know, I think you're already doing it. You're already doing it with all your messages. You're already out there saying all the struggles you've had. And I think you're ready to make a difference. And I can see this. I can see this in the next year that you will definitely start to really. Oh, thank you. So, yeah, you've got big things. I think you've got really big things. I'm very excited for you. You deserve it. You were really hard. That, that community does not happen overnight. It does not. It doesn't you don't wake up one day and have a community. It takes a lot of effort. Takes a lot of understanding. It takes a lot of communication. It takes. Yeah, it just doesn't happen. You don't just wake up and have a few. Yeah, I think, you know, it kind of works both ways. both ways. You know, it's the same with, you know, it's a bit like friendships, you know, it's in a way and it's funny because it's just an app. But you do develop a certain connection with people and it's fascinating, you know, and that's the positive side of social media. You know, I hardly ever get any negativity because, you know, when you build that connection, when people know you, you, you honest and you do it for the right reasons. And I am very honest, you know, what I say, I really mean. And especially, you know, with age D, we do say what we mean, but it's just, um, we do. It's amazing. I think, like, yeah, I think what you built is an amazing community of people who follow you for a reason and they reach out to you for a reason. And I think that makes you very powerful. And I think, and I don't be powerful in a kind of dictatorial way, I think powerful in that, the influence you can have now. You're holding it in your hand and that is amazing. I think that's impressive. Yeah. And, you know, I will definitely use it for the right reasons. Um, and it's just, you know, it's, it's really as lovely. So what does today hold for you? What's your normal day? What today? Well, there's, um, yeah, there is, you know, obviously it's some of holiday. So as, as you know, I'm constantly juggling and even, you know, yesterday I was, I recorded this, um, real. And I knew that I wanted to say something, but because I had to make some pancakes, I was making the pancakes and I was recording the video. And then I had to pick up the boys and didn't even have time to to listen to it. And sometimes it happens very often. And I also say that that's the case. You know, we, we all want perfection. We all want a smoothly, um, edited videos and, you know, everything has to be perfect, but it's not like that. And sometimes I think it's good to show that imperfection. And in the evening, when I sat down and I listened actually finally to this reel that I actually shared for everyone, I shared it on Facebook to nearly 200,000 people. And in the evening, I sat down and I repeated the word catmaned, um, probably seven times within 60 seconds. And it, I mean, it's, it's fine. It's fine because people will never forget the catman, but no, it was just, you know, if someone would listen to it and, and edit it, it would probably be more professional. But that's what I mean, you know, that I'm not, I'm not a professional person. And I, I like the imperfection. I want people to see it. Yeah, definitely. I don't edit. I never, ever walked any of my videos back, because that's like, that's just a topic, really. Otherwise, you try and get perfection. I got did one the other day on daily at this funding. And I must have done it in the wrong speed, but I didn't watch it before I posted it. And so it was like Jurassic Park. It was like, it was like, people thought it was really funny. And I just thought, hey, you know, that's, it's the truth. I must have put my camera on the wrong setting. No mind. Absolutely. I think we should, you know, it's, it's really, it makes it more, more real. And, you know, we're real people. You know, we don't have, at least I don't have an army. I don't have anyone, really. And, you know, even today, I already have a list of things to do. And, you know, it's just this, but it's all exciting. It's all exciting. Yeah, I, I have it to do list, which will never finish. Even I have a holiday list because I'm going on holiday. And I have a holiday list of things I want to achieve on holiday, which is terrible, really, isn't it? So it's kind of the things that need to take your way. And you've got a notebook and a pen. And you just in time to really think. And that's what I use Holidays for. So I kind of plan the rest of the year and I write in a strategy and I go, right, and then I've had books like these, all these books and how I'm ever going to be able to take all these books as ridiculous. And so it's kind of like, yeah, I love that time out just to think about it. Well, and yeah, I'd love you. Thank you very much for the talk all day, but you're able to do list and I have a message to do this. I want to thank you for coming over. I'm really humbled that you joined us and explain your community and what drives you and what your inspiration. It's really important. And I've got a much better understanding as well, which is amazing. So I want to thank you for joining me this morning. It's all thank you so much. It's been a pleasure. Really, really lovely and so lovely to connect, you know, with like-minded people. So thank you ever so much for having me. Not at all. Thank you. I look forward to next week's episode. Please don't forget to subscribe and rating review on your podcast app. We do have some wonderful free resources on our website at thecutflourcollective.co.uk. We also have two free Facebook communities, which we'd love you to join. For farmers or those who want to be from our farmers, we have Cut Flour Farming, Growth and Profiting Your Business. And our other free Facebook group is Learn with the Cut Flour Afflector for those starting out on their Flower Journey. All of the links are below. I look forward to getting to know you all.