Surprise! I've Achieved Financial Independence (plus young entrepreneurs LIVE from Camp FI) SB1410

Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shottering kaboom. Live from Camp Phi, Texas! It's the Stacking Benjamin Show! I'm Joe Bond's neighbor, Doug, and on today's podcast, I'm Matt Mis from Denton, Texas, as we'll hear stories from stackers just like you. Don't worry, though. Halfway through the show, I'll share some downright dirty trivia. And now a guy who's sweating it out in Texas, Joe. Oh, it's all see-hush! Hey there, kaboom! So happy you guys are sweating out with me, and I have a very special guest here on the podcast. Well, I have about 40 special guests here with me. Yes, but on the microphone, it's our old friend, Roger. Whitney, the retirement answer man's here. It is hot here. It is hot here. So it was like 85 degrees when I left Texarkana, and then I went across this convection oven, and it's like 109 yesterday. It's been this way all summer long. It really has. No, I think it's Stephen Boyer's fault. Stephen bringing the heat, baby. Yes, absolutely. This is your first campfire. What do you think so far? It is. Well, I have them all in front of me, so I'm going to have to be nice about it. I didn't know what to expect. I mean, we played pool volleyball. They were hitting the volleyball round. We had some put-putt. It's been a very special experience so far, but I haven't talked yet. That sounds very educational, by the way. Oh, no! It's all about. We played pool. We played the pool. We played put-putt. It's very hard to find your people when you're thinking about becoming financially independent. It's hard to have those conversations at the water cooler. That's right. And you feel like you're walking that journey alone, and I think what Stephen has created is something where you find your homies. We've had some great conversations so far. And people at all different stages, by the way, we're going to hear from some young people today. The number of young people here really surprises me. And they're smart. I really didn't think that about the youth. I feel more encouraged about the youth now. I think it's pronounced youth. The youth? Yes. Right. Who uses the tweeter? Right. Or is it the exer now? I don't know. Check out the exer. On the Google? Yes. All right. We got Roger Whitney here. We got a bunch of special guests. But before that, Roger, do you know the rules around podcasting live? Actually, I don't, because I do it, not in my basement, but in a closet. There's a whole set of rules. Let me explain those two. Now, hold on. This time of year, so busy. He got back from podcast movement conference and going to a couple national parks. We're headed out to Bali for the five freedom retreat. Fincon. There is so much going on that when I'm home, every minute matters. And I'll tell you, that is one reason why I like hello fresh. Because you can kickstart. I see I like pronouncing it that way. Hello fresh. Kickstart a fresh fall routine with hello fresh. 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You know, this is the one I beat the drum on. Things are so chaotic here right now. It's lovely just to get a knife in your hand where you're just paying attention to cutting things. Put on a little music. Grab a glass of wine. Or your favorite non glass of wine beverage. And man. What a great experience as well. So go to HelloFresh.com. Slash 50 SB. Then use code 50 SB for 50% off. Plus 15% off. The next two months. Here it is again. Go to HelloFresh.com. Slash 50 SB. And use code 50 SB for 50% off. Plus 15% off. The next two months. Hello fresh. Or better yet. Hello fresh. America's number one meal kit. Do you got them? No, you're looking at me weird. I don't think you got them. Here's the real rules. Selena Quintanilla was a force in nature. But when a loyal friend betrayed her, she met a fate that she never deserved. Even the rich is a podcast from Wondering that tells you the stories of the crazy lives of the greatest family dynasties to pop culture superstars. In their new season, Viva Selena, you'll hear how she made a massive cultural impact and became a legend the world will never forget all before her 21st birthday. She had already left a legacy across cultures that would continue for generations. Her huge talent was nearly overshadowed by her untimely death. She was shot by a close friend and confidant. But there's so much more to Selena's story than her tragic passing. She was kindhearted, brave, and tried her best to bring joy to everyone in her life. The positivity she put into the world still carries on nearly 30 years after her death. And she will always be the queen of Tejano music. Enjoy even the rich on the Wondering app or wherever you get your podcast. You can binge even the rich. Viva Selena right now. Add free on Wondering Plus. Get started with your free trial at Wondering.com slash plus. All right. We're live from Denton, Texas. Can't buy. Let's get this party started. Well, we got a bunch of special guests today. But we're going to start with a group that I knew a little bit about, but I've learned a lot more about. Let's talk to the leader of the group first. He's the man he's been on the podcast before. He's the leader of this group called Sheik's Freaks. Dan Sheik's, come on up, man. Dan, good to have you back on the show. Thanks, good to be here. Were you happy you don't have to play the trivia challenge today? Yes, the first time I failed, failed so bad. I think that's pretty much everybody. I didn't remember what your question was. It was when was the telephone invented. Yes. I missed it by 50 years. Yeah, nice. You weren't there. And I'm a teacher, by the way. You shouldn't have said that. That was being backed that up. Let's talk about Sheik's freaks. How did this get started? You know, so I had a couple of books come out, published by bigger pockets almost three years ago. And it was kind of a natural progression from that. So a lot of my book is first to a million, specifically for Gen Z, and this started to get read. And people were reaching out like, hey, we want to do something in a community as a result of what we read in the book. They asked you to do it. People reaching out to you saying we want a community around this. Yeah. So I created an online community. It's gone through some different forms and evolutions, but it's a place where Gen Z years, which I, it's kind of like roughly 15 to 25 years old. If they're highly motivated and interested in their financial future, it's a place where they can come meet like-minded other young people. What do you hear from people when they're interested in joining your group? Perspective members that might want to join. They are always saying, hey, I'm interested in entrepreneurship or investing or house hacking, real estate. But none of my friends are. I'm in my hometown. I have a home group of friends. The people I hang out with every day. I try to talk to them about money. I try to explain to them how important this financial knowledge is and none of them want to talk about it. And I want a place where I can go meet other-like-minded people and find my squad, basically. Have you found that people go from, you know, Jim Collins has this great book, Good to Great. You've seen some of Sheets Freaks go from Good to Great? Oh my gosh. Yeah, you're going to talk to some here today. What they are accomplishing in the community. And I don't take credit for it. It's a place where they get to kind of just, it's like they ignite when they find other-like-minded young people. What they are accomplishing, it blows my mind. It's crazy how much. And we all know networking. It's about being around-like-minded, motivated people who are in sync with what you want to talk about, what you want to learn about. And so when they get in that place where they can communicate with other people like them, sky is the limit. They're crushing it. It is an amazing how when one sees someone that's much like them doing what they want to do, they can see themselves doing it. And that's the key, right? So I have members as young as 14 and as old as 27. And what's great, everyone's very friendly. Everyone helps each other out. It's a very cohesive collaborative environment. And so what they get to do is they get to see someone who's a step or two ahead of them. So we don't only focus on real estate, but that's a big topic in our community. And a lot of them want to do house hacking. Well, we have several members who are house hacking. We have some who have done it two or three times. Most of our members have not yet bought real estate. Some of them aren't even old enough to buy real estate. But they can connect with young people just, you know, a step or two ahead of them. Learn what they did, talk to them, call them up on the phone, DM them in our group and say, hey, I have a question or how did you do this or what was your biggest mistake. And we have guests on. We do Zoom calls two or three times a month or we have expert guests come talk about topics. Yeah, so it's just, it's my way of giving back. You see people Roger on the other side of this. How often do people in your group, which is for people in retirement, nearing retirement? How often do people say, I wish I started earlier? Always, always. And I think it's a lot of it you're in your own little vacuum. And I think the group that you have and the one that we have has a lot of similarities in that it's hard to have these conversations with people that want to have the conversations and that are intentional about life. The model of our club, which is a Bible verse, is walk with the wise and become wise. When you surround yourself with people that are motivated, have a great spirit and going the same direction, it's pretty magical. I'm sure you've had some really special moments of being proud of what you've seen. I like the quote you just shared. And so my community is called Sheik's Freaks, which is a funny name, but it rhymes and it works. But I call the young people my community freakish because they are very exceptional. They are very unique. They are doing amazing things. And it's not the average 20-year-old, 15-year-old that's going to be so motivated about their financial future to go join a community, read a book, log into a live Zoom call and spend an hour and a half talking to somebody. So like you said, they become more freakish when they're around other freaky people doing amazing, incredible things. That's, I love that term too, just freaky people. I need a cool term. You do. You need a better branding, I think, in general. Well, Dan, we're gonna let you go because we're gonna talk to a couple freaks. Absolutely. Here, but if people want to know more, where do they go? Sheik'sfreaks.com. Awesome. You can learn all about the community right there. Big hand for Dan. Thanks, man. Thank you. All right. Let's meet a couple of the freaks that are with us. First of all, Camper Mia is here. Come on, Mia. Woo! Woo! Mia, how are you? Doing well, how are you guys? I'm good. Awesome. So this is your first campfire? This is my first campfire. Yes. What do you think so far? So much bigger than I expected it to go. Who's going to be? I didn't look into anything about it. I just figured I'd come up and I'd be surprised. Now you flew here by yourself, right? I did. I flew here by myself. So you're obviously very comfortable going out into unfamiliar territory. For sure. I'm very familiar with airports. Well, very familiar. I fly a lot. Oh, do you? Well, let's talk about this. How old are you? I'm 21. When did you first join Sheik's freaks? Oh goodness. Probably two years. Maybe two years. That might get. That might get. Yeah. Yeah. So right after high school? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's been a bit. I haven't actually done the timeline straight, but it's been long enough for me to be a whole bunch of people. Let's talk about what you're doing, though, that's freakish. Tell us about you. Yeah. So I have a video marketing company. So basically, I do everything video for large companies, agencies, consultants, anything video, YouTube, video courses, video sales letters. You're editing the videos? Yeah. So we edit it. We'll manage a YouTube channel completely for them, but everything else will just kind of drop the finished files into their folder. So they record it. They send it to us, and then it's hands off, and it kind of appears in their Dropbox. I get the technical part of it. But as a 19, now 21-year-old, how does one go from coming out of high school to even approaching a large company to say, hey, let me do this for you? That seems like it would be really intimidating. Yeah. So it's all confidence levels. So I started video editing and working at live events when I was 13. So as long as you don't give people a reason to not trust you with what you're doing, they're not going to question it. So you can walk around as a teenager, going through a whole bunch of different spaces, and if they think that you're 25, they'll treat you like you're 25. So that's how I got on my clients was they knew I was capable, I carried myself like I was capable. This goes back to the same 10,000 hours thing. Yeah, put in the reps. Yeah, I'm thinking about an interview I heard recently with Bruce Springsteen. I don't know if you guys have heard of Bruce. Bruce, not as popular as any of us up here, but you know, Bruce. Bruce talked about by the time he got his first record dealer, he was trying to get his first record deal, he'd appeared on so many stages, he was already a veteran. Nobody knew who he was, but he'd done it so many times that he wasn't really nervous when he did that, and you're kind of saying the same thing. When you walk into a big business, you've been doing this since your 13, you're the voice of reason. Yeah, it just makes more sense. So I would get clients, but the client base, I got too many clients and what's the next logical step for when you have too much work is you ask for help. So I started hiring other editors, I grew my team and now have about 10 employees. I want to get to that in a second, but even before that back to mindset, we are also afraid we're going to mess stuff up, and that's why we don't start that starting at 13 now. I mean, that's fantastic. It was my accident. Okay, so tell me that story. I've always been at, like, I've always loved videos, so for me it was, if I edit my own videos, if I make my own short films, music videos for friends, then it's what's different from just doing that for another small business. It's the same software, it's the same concept, except for you make money off of it. So tell me about, I don't want to get into the numbers, but I do want to get into running a business. When did you know it was time to scale? COVID hit 2020. That was my big wake-up call. I was going to college for basketball, COVID hit, crash the whole program, and so what else was I going to do? And I just decided to start scaling. And what are some rough patches you've been through? I did have one week where my entire team all quit at the exact same time. Oh, that's a bad day. Oh, it's a really bad day. All for different random reasons. It was family. It was something else happened, so I had to think three employees all quit all at once. And I was left with all the work in the entire company. So when you're doing this, you're doing this on your own. You own the company. How important was it to have the community that you have with the freaks to vent about and celebrate with? It's actually gotten more important now. We have these small groups, and so we'll meet weekly about and we can talk about different things, like Adrian's and my meet. We'll meet every single week and we'll just kind of talk through stuff, which has been really nice to be able to talk through with people that you can't normally talk about at home. This is why we talk about going to industry conferences. It's so important. Going to conferences. Meeting your people. So absolutely, absolutely important. I want to go back to these three people quitting on the same day. Because was that something in the water? Were they talking to each other? Was it something you learned about your management style that they didn't like? No, it was just, there was a family emergency. It didn't fit. Someone else decided to take a job as a teacher. And so they needed the time back. But it all crashed in the same week. That was the same week I got to pay my first thing of taxes. So I had to write a $10,000 check. That was not a fun week. Everything crashed. Three employees quit. You're writing a $10,000 check. It gets worse. You're a country song. It gets worse, actually. I was driving my friend. She was drawing the marine. So I was driving her to the airport. I would have an old Ford Ranger at the time. It doesn't go over maybe 60 miles an hour. But a cop pulled me over. Told me I was going over 80. I ended up with a $500 ticket. A warrant out for my arrest. And my license was revoked. And this all happened in one week. That is a bad day. It was a pretty bad week. Wait a minute. Is that warrant still out? No, I'm good now. We're good. Because it would be so great for our ratings. We are in debt in Texas. I didn't drive here. I flew. Wait, you said you're going 80 and your car doesn't go over 60? Yeah. I don't know how we figured that one out. I don't know. I'm not like blessed in math. But apparently the cop wasn't either. I don't know. It was a fun experience. And now I can say I did it. For people that want to do what you're doing. You said you're not great at math. But what classes in school really helped you get this done? You're telling people what to take. So for me in classes, I was homeschooled. So I just batched all my schoolwork together. Super, super tight. I didn't spend as much time on it. I was what they called an all-A slacker. So I got A's and everything. Didn't put any effort. And I was an all-duty slacker. Yeah. No, I don't know how I did it. But it just gave me enough time to work on videos. But was there a topic that you studied? Whether homeschooling at a school, whatever, that really helped you? I've probably history. I just enjoyed history class. So my history teacher, she just, she didn't focus on dates or the specific. She's focused on the overarching. I can't tell you specific names or dates. But I can like, there's a broad breaststroke of what history looks like. I can show you where Nigeria is on a map. Like most people can't do that when they graduate history. Where is that? I don't know. So I got more drawn to history. I think it helps with the storytelling and seeing a broader picture. A lot of entrepreneurs don't think about storytelling and how important it is. I want to come back to when you were 13 years old and you decided, hey, I could do this for money. How does one connect that dot when you're just a ding dong 13-year-old? Just like, you know, we're all ding dongs. And you're watching videos. You were a ding dong to put that on. I am still a ding dong. We're all a ding dongs. How do you connect the dots and feel confident because at that age, where you just have that entrepreneurial spirit? I'm trying to connect the dot for somebody who thinks, well, I couldn't do that. That's just what something should do. Yeah, I was blessed with a great family. So my dad's a real estate investor. He went through the whole big computer phase. And then he made a whole bunch of money, got into restaurants, crashed. And then he got into fixed inflips, wholesales, crashed those. And then he was a multi-family investor. Wait, we said they crashed. These failed. They failed. Like the full loan fail. He had four kids, whole family, and they just crashed and burned. So I got to watch all that. And so when you, when you fail like, hey, I want some of this. Yeah, that sounds great. Sign me up. So I mean, I figured what's the worst that could possibly happen? I heard the story. This is a second-hand story. Disney Land is about to open. Walt Disney's riding around with the chief engineer on the project. And the chief engineer's freaking out because everything's about half done. The park's not ready to open. And Walt didn't have enough money to pay them. So instead what he did was he gave him equity in the park. So this guy's got a bunch of equity. And the dude's sweating. And Walt's like, what's wrong? He goes, what if this all fails? What if this all goes bad? And Walt looks at him and goes, oh, I've been baker up three times. It's no big deal. It's okay. You'll live through it. It's fine. But that's kind of what you saw. What's the worst that could happen? You're 13. You live at your parent's house. You can eat. You're going to be fine. And the same thing for me now. If everything crashes and burns, I'll just move at home with my parents. And I'll start from scratch. 55, podcasting and mom's basement like me. Yeah. Yeah. It's not that bad, is it? It isn't that bad. It's great. Free, right? You kidding me? Thanks for you. I'm going to keep scaling. I'm going to ride the video train as far as I can get. I'm also a passive real estate investor. So I'm kind of like trying to push money into that general direction. But I have to have money to be able to put into the real estate. That's fabulous. Thanks for spending a few minutes with us. Anytime. Everybody Mia. Let's meet another freak here. Come on out, Adrian. Come on, Adrian. Hello, hello. Adrian, you and I were talking earlier about this. Mia talked about how money was in her family. They talked about my all the time. You didn't have that. I didn't have that. Not exactly. No. You said the reason your family talked about money is because you push them to talk about money. I asked them all the questions. I said, uh, so how much do we make? And how much is the house cost? And yeah, I asked the questions. Did they want to answer those? Not exactly, but ask them. Yeah, that's pretty intrusive. How old were you when you started asking those questions? I couldn't tell you an age. For sure in high school. I was asking all the questions in high school. Okay. Let's set the bar here. How old are you now? I'm now 22 years old. Awesome. And what is your business? I have two that go. One's an all-inclusive Christmas lights installations company. Love that one. The other one is long care landscaping, tree trimming. And then some small landscaping stuff that we do. Obviously, not as much love for that one. Not as much love. No, it's hot in Texas. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah, it is. And the bee stings, the wasp, I hate them. And you're San Antonio, right? Yeah, so San Antonio, Texas. Yeah, so when did the business start? Tell us about your business journey then. If your family doesn't talk about money, it must be hard to convince parents and family that you're going to become an entrepreneur. When did the entrepreneurship start? When did this business start? Oh, let's start with entrepreneurship. This sounds good. I have horses. And I used to have to shovel up the horse poop. I learned that horse poop was good fertilizer. So I said, hey, Dad, we need to get those feed bags. I'm going to put horse poop in the fertilizer bags and can you sell them to people that work for $5? You told your dad, do I want to sell horse poop? I sure did. It works. What did your dad say? He said, yes, and he called me an entrepreneur. He said, you're going to be my little entrepreneur. And I probably had to ask him three more times that day, like, Dad, what did you call me? What does that mean? Yeah. Did you call me dirty horse? You know what? Interesting about that story. Most things end with poop. This one started with poop. Right. Oh, yeah. How old were you when that happened? I was probably third grade, maybe fourth grade. Okay. And then this business, when did you start doing? It must have started with landscaping like mowing lawns. I was a sophomore in college, and my buddy goes, hey, Adrian, I have a friend back home. He does Christmas lights installations. We need to do it next year. And I was like, hey, man, I'm broke. We need to do it this year. Like, it needs to happen now. So we started it. We did that real quick. Christmas was down. We made like two grand paid for my rent. Got some pizza. It was a good time. Right. After that, we were locked into leases. I ended up dropping out of college as a business management major, knowing I was going to start my own business anyways. But dropped out of college. Leases stayed for a year. So then we started cutting grass. I cut grass when I was in middle school, high school. So I was like, I know how to cut grass. We got this. We did that. After our leases ended up, we went our separate ways. He went up to Dallas. I went back home in the mom's house. Great time, by the way. Cooking was great. I went from having to eat pizza every day. So she was cooking meals. And I was like, yeah, do I have to pay you for this now? Like, this is nice. Did you? I didn't. I cut the grass. And I put up her Christmas light, so in a way, yeah. This is like, parents as private equity firms. That's true. They're supporters. They're an incubator. Investors, yeah. But about 20 years old is when I started this one. Awesome. And now the business is going, it sounds like very well. Tell us about hanging Christmas lights. How did you start finding customers? So I ended up going to a course. I saved up a bunch of money for long care whenever I got back home. Told my parents, hey, I have this guy on YouTube. I watch. It's like a $3,000 course in North Carolina. His name is Jason Geiman. I got a shout that guy. Great dude. So I drove from San Antonio, North Carolina. Stayed there for a week. Got everything. A whole book of notes. Came back home. God. How did you find this guy? YouTube. I already did Christmas lights. And I was like, I need to learn more about this, because I made more money in Christmas lights, so I started learning on there. And I realized there's a better way to do it, and the way that I did it the first time. So I went to that, found him, came back home, used my notes 18 by 24 yards. That's amazing. Wait a minute. So I just want to back up here, because this is pretty incredible. So you want to know how to hang Christmas lights. You go to YouTube University. You find somebody who's the expert in it, and you just like, cold call them. You write to them? No. They had a course already set up. I knew I could go to the course. If I had three grand and a weighty. Not you. Okay. I couldn't really get a rental car at that time, because I was like 19-20, so I drove from San Antonio, to North Carolina to do the course. Got the course. The youngest one there. Everybody was looking at me. I learned. That was in the front. Got all my notes. Came back home. How many people were in this course? So he does about four of them. In this case, it was probably at least like 15, 25 people. Just one room. And then other side, he has the actual set-ups of like, pitches of roofs, how to install the lights. We learned everything from custom-cutting lights to bulbing and clipping, to electricity stuff, to how do you sell, to how do you... Everything. It was all in this course. You know, you and I are about the same age, Joe. We were his age. And you know what? Words come into mind again? Beer. That and ding dong. That is one thing that I've noticed in Campify. Look around the room here and I am just blown away at how lit everybody is on an inform they are. And I think if myself at this their age isn't I'm like, ding dong. Are you guys doing the Christmas tree lit thing? Is that what that was? Do you like that? No. It was... It was... I'm showing my age. Now I have to learn with the new old man language. Oh boy. Yes. Welcome to the second bedroom. Don't tell us on air. Tell me later. He's... We'll be the first time. Or the last one. Adrian... Now there's hanging Christmas lights but then there's the business. And a lot of times if you read some of the good business books out there like the E-Meth as an example, you see the people's businesses don't fail because they're bad at it. They fail because the systems don't get in place. You were telling me earlier that you're really now working on the back end of your business and working on that piece to make sure you can scale. For sure. Yeah. There's a time where a customer would text you one thing and I'd type the whole paragraph and I'd send it. And three days later another customer would ask me the same thing. I would type the whole paragraph and send it. So just like... That was year one, year two I decided, hey, if I've been asked this question at least twice, three times, I'm going to put it into a note. So when I was somebody else, I asked me that question. It's copy paste send. Instead of me re... Like, standing there. Yeah. What did I say last time? Right. Little stuff. Like the accounting, that piece. Listen to a whole lot of podcasts. Yeah. Or not as many podcasts, but audio books. Yeah. So I like the pumpkin plan. Trying to pumpkin plan my business. Like McCallowitz. Yeah. Smart guy. He is. Smart guy. Funny too. It's a fun listen for sure. Yeah. Yeah. I like to listen to him because when I'm on a roof, I can't exactly read. But I can listen. You can. Just don't get those earbuds caught up in the light. Yes, sir. It might be dangerous. Yes, sir. He's like, they don't even have strings anymore, Joe. Yeah. We use regular ear buds. You're just trying to bail me out for my last full podcast. I'm trying to make as many old guy comments as I possibly can, Roger. bail you out. What's next for you, Adrian? Next for me. So I plan on doing some big things this year in Christmas. We're still September. So I've been closing customers already. Previously closed customers. So now just getting back in contact with them. Getting them back on, back on the schedule for this year. The plan is to get a duplex to house hack later on this year. Ideally around January, February. Awesome. I'm going to make it happen. Last question. How is being a part of Sheik's Freaks helped you? I love it. I love it. I mean, Dan brings some great news. Dan knows you 20 bucks. I think I owe Dan 20 bucks. Times 10. A lot of years down the road from now too. But yeah, no. Dan brings them some great people. One of my favorites was Craig Kerlop. We've had him on at least four or five times. And every time he comes on, there's at least 20 people. For sure. Did just everybody's always there for that. Craig's a great guy to learn from. We had him on the show. I think Josh Dork and the creator of Bigger Pockets told me he's like, Craig Kerlop would rent you his underwear if you would take it. Like he will rent anything. He sees pretty hard core about not just house hack. Just hack life. For sure. Good guy to learn from. Great guy to learn from. Yeah, great community to be a part of. If you're our age or if you're an older parent, and maybe not older parent, but you know, if you're a parent, and you have some kids. Probably younger than Roger's age. If you could see Roger right now, he looks like a young, great looking dude. Yeah, baby. I love this. I love this. You're my son. I'm adopting you. I'll take it. But anybody 14 to 25. I mean, go to streaksfreaks.com. Go to streaksfreaks on Instagram. And come and join us. He's got his marketing down for you, Dan. Adrian. Big ham for Adrian, everybody. Nice job. All right. In the second half of this, we're going to talk to somebody who's on the other side of this equation. Get this. He was financially independent, and he didn't know he was. We're going to talk to him in the second half. But first, let's throw it back to Doug. Doug, what's our trivia question today? Hey there, stackers. I'm Joe's mom's neighbor, Doug. And in the spirit of Joe being a campfire, I thought I'd do a little camp on myself. I didn't want to schlep over to a campsite. So instead, I built a big fire in his mom's backyard. And I'm finally burning all that trash that was too big to fit in the cans. You wouldn't believe how fast a beanbag chair goes up in flames. It was awesome. Every year, tens of millions of people go camping. Some even go outdoors where bears can snack on them. And others, to beautiful cabin communities like the one featured in the movie, Dirty Dancing. Now, that's my kind of camp. Beautiful mountains, secluded lake. Dirty Dancing. Since the movie's release in 1987, Mountain Lake Lodge, which played the part of Kellerman's Mountain House in the movie, has become a must visit for diehard fans. Wait, there are diehard fans, anyway. You can even rent the iconic room that baby stayed in in the movie. And I'll have you know, for bed, definitely was not the one in the corner. So let's give you this trivia question. Mountain Lake Lodge was supposedly in the cat skills when it was cast as Kellerman's, but which more southern state is Mountain Lake Lodge actually in? I'll be right back with the answer. After I get this fire under control, geez, they really should warn you that lighter fluid is flammable. In our word from our sponsors at Betterment, high-visory fees, not chill, the stress of day trading, so not chill, pacing back and forth, checking the market every day, like somebody in an action movie, waiting for the president to call, totally, and completely, not chill. 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Go to Shoppefy.com, www.reikstrichpodcast23. Hey there stackers, I'm Outdoorsman and volunteer firefighter in training, Joe's Mom's Neighbor Doug. While Joe's away at Campfy, I'm on a little staycation camping trip and Joe's Mom's yard. Take it from me, do not try to burn an old lava lamp. The smell is horrible. Today's trivia question is, what more Southern State is the mountain lake lodge actually located in? Dirty Dancing was largely filmed at Lake Lure, North Carolina, however, the colorment scenes were filmed in a different state. So if you said North Carolina, you're so close. And on the right track, but not quite correct, you'll need lots of benchmarks to stay there, because one weekend at mountain lake lodge, now can run as much as nearly $2,000 in every one of those rooms is located in Embroke, Virginia. I'm sure you might have gotten that right, which is great, because it's about time to bring out the weenies for this campfire. You think that gas fumes matter when you're roasting hot dogs? I mean, who could tell, honestly? I'm about to find out though. See ya! And we're back! Woohoo! This is so damn fun. This is fun. This is fun. Awesome. We don't get to podcast live enough. We have a very interesting guest, Roger. Come on down. Joe, before we talk about that, can we talk about the fact that you and I are roommates this weekend? Dude. Ah, yes. Let's talk about that. Okay. I just wanted to acknowledge how special this weekend has been. That's all. What's that? It's been nice. It's been special. No, not just nice. It's been special. It's been special. Yes. I thought the candles were nice. Do you like that touch? The candles. The candles were absolutely fantastic. We have a show, right? You never show. We do have a show. And we have a special guest here with this ladies and gentlemen. Give it up for Jalen! Hello. Hello. Hello. Jalen, I love the story that you told yesterday. And I'm so happy we can put a microphone in front of your mouth because you're a guy. You're an engineer. Yes, sir. And not an engineer who drives trains. You're an engineer. You're a mechanical engineer. That is correct. So tell me about early on. Did your family talk about money and when you started your career, were you thinking about money? Not necessarily. I would just say that, you know, far as to talk about money, the most conversations we had was put your money in a bank. And don't, you know, don't, you know. We're safe. Don't overspend. And don't get in credit card debt. Yeah. Well, that's good. Yeah. So you've always been allergic to credit cards? Absolutely. Yeah. Do you use them now for like point programs? Oh, absolutely. Well, points and just, it's actually much safer from, you know, from a protection vinyl line. Okay. But the stock market to you at that time, early in your career, what do you think about the stock market? I always thought the stock market was gambling. Just because you hear about people putting their money into it, and they lose it. And that was something that I stayed away from. Yeah. But you're saving into this thing, you're saving into your 401k? Absolutely. And that was kind of one of the things that opened my eyes up was when I started contributing to my 401k. So someone said, you know, that is investing. You know that, right? Oh, really? Which, how old were you at this point? I was 22. Yeah. And you've been saving and doing it for how long? I saved into it for good Lord. 22 years. Yeah. But at that time, how long had you been saving into it when you had this aha that you really are an investor? Actually, about two months. Okay. Yeah. Two months later, and you're like, oh, I am investing. That is correct. Go ahead. And it knows. It was pretty easy. Yeah, it actually was. And then once I learned that that's actually invested, and then I started pouring into more about, okay, let me learn more about this investment and how am I investing? And just started opening up more chapters of books, got contacted with resources, went to seminars, and just learned about other investment vehicles. When did you really start to think, you know, maybe I might have enough money to retire? Ah, that's a great question. So if I could just back up a little bit. Yes. So as I started investing more and learned and started pushing to max my 401k out, I got married, and both my wife and I were equally yoked on when it comes to finances. So we made sure we contributed to both of our retirement accounts. Okay. Started contributing to our Roths, started maxing those out. As our income increased, said, okay, what's the next step? So we started, we had high to both our children as well. So let's start contributing to the 529 plans. As we got those in a healthy spot, what else can we do? And then we start contributing to brokerage accounts. And fast forward, 2018, I was age 40. Before we fast forward, was that difficult? Because there's a lot of people listening to this that don't think they can save. And they're hearing you. Obviously you're a two-income family, you're an engineer. So you've got good income. But was it hard to watch that money go into the spot where you can't spend it today? No, actually it was not. And part of it is that we also put into, we're going to save so much in cash each month. Okay. Just the first, the first by all the different investment vehicles. And also if I can put a plug in, in 2011, my wife stepped away from her work as an educator. And because we made our first relocation to a different location and my kids were four and two at the time. So she became a state-owned parent. So all you got tighter. You know, yes, the budget, the income got less. However, what we found out was our saving actually increased. And how? Well, I know math. I'm trying to figure that out. It's just magic. Well, one thing that contributed to my wife, so instead of going out to eat, she cooked more. This is the plug that I give to state-owned spouses. You know, even though when they stay at home, they do a lot of contributing to the house home in all sorts of ways that helps in the income stamp. From the household standpoint. And that was, she was just a benefit cooking. She took care of our kids, made sure they were taking care of, since she wasn't working. So she had no need to buy work clothes. Yeah, right. And in the location that we were at. No commuting costs. No commuting costs. We lived in those, oh, Washington State. So even though our housing expense went up, a lot of our utility expenses went down. And we also had a different lifestyle was, instead of going out to eat. We were outdoors a lot. We got involved in nature. So my kids got this overall experience versus we were born in Texas. Right. It's hot. Right. Mosquitoes and... When you had this... They're running around half naked outside in July. And I can't believe I'm outside. When you had this moment of your income goes down. Because I walk that journey with my wife leaving work for a lot of the same reasons. It's an opportunity to say, oh, we have to slow down our savings. And then we'll restart it. And the danger of that is you lose a habit. It's hard to get back into the habit. How did you navigate that to... Did you continue to save her? Did you slow it down a little bit? No, we actually just continued to save. Though she was not working, we still contributed to her IRA account. Make sure we max both of ours out. As well as we contribute. We maxed my 401k. And we just kept going. Savings like a muscle. Once you exercise that muscle, you got to keep it going. If you stop exercising muscle, you're going to lose it. That's great advice. Absolutely great advice. So now let's fast forward. Because this story gets really funny to me. It gets really... This is an awesome ending where you're going. Oh, thank you. So, in 2018, I was age 40. And that's when I discovered the financial independence movement. And started learning about the concepts, the savings. How did you learn about it at first? The way I found it was, I YouTube, I was looking for, I had a pension. And I said, hey, I want to figure out what are some options for my pension. So, what came up was... A couple of podcasters. Paula Pant with a Ford Anything. Never ever. Jill Slesinger with Jill Amunny. Yeah. Also learned about stacking measurements. And a retired instrument. I started watching those videos about what are your options either you want to take the lump sum or take the payments. I was wondering about exactly what you, Google, or you put in there, because Ashley, who's here with us, I think Ashley, wasn't it you, who you were googling, how do I quit my job? Which is... How do I quit my job? Oh, look, financial independence movement. Well, it's funny. There's a question about the pension or the lump sum. Is the most often asked question that I get, which surely surprises me. Yeah. And again, reason why, because I learned more about my pension at that point, because that was something that I had ignored. I was always focused on 401K and all the other investment accounts. And my company was fortunate that they actually gave me a pension. They said, hey, that's also something you need to make sure you keep an eye on. Because my idea at that time, I was going to retire at 59 and a half. And why 59 and a half? Because they said, that's when you can access your money. Yeah. But in 2018, I discovered that we were already at financial independence, without us even knowing that. I can just imagine, what are you doing? Are you like sitting at your kitchen table and kind of looking at things and you go, holy crap, we're there. It's not basically, yeah. Not at the kitchen table. It's, you know, as all of us in the financial independence movement, we all got our spreadsheets. So as usual, I'm looking at the spreadsheets, looking at our assets, and then just, you know, following the real thumb, I said, oh my God, we are actually there. But at that time, I was in a great position. Love my job. And I just want, let's keep working. We were, you know, let's continue to enjoy life and keep pressing forward. But isn't that still fabulous, Roger? Like discovering, we did such a good job early on. We were talking about this earlier. I think maybe it was with Dan about the miracle of compounding interest. And just about how the thing that excites teenagers more that I've been around than anything is not like, stay out of debt, don't think about that so much. It's, it's hey, if you do this early, you can save a ton of money quick and do the heavy lifting now. The one thing I love about your journey is you didn't do anything fancy. You just did the basics day after day and you woke up with your spreadsheet. It's a great point. And you discovered it. It reminds me of a story. I don't know the name of the golfer. And it was about, he was committed to his rituals in a, in a pre-shot rituals during a tournament. And literally, he worked his process. And when he sank a putt, he didn't even realize he won the tournament. And that's what makes me think about you. Is you were so focused on... Sink of the putt. Raising a great family. Following the basics. And then you woke up. And said, wait a second. I want it. I'm independent. And you had choices, but you chose to still work, right? Absolutely. And thank you, Roger, for that point. Because one thing that I tell people is, you know, when I asked how you get here, well, what we were, we did the basics, but we were excellent at the basics. And if you just do that consistently, you'll see the fruits of your labor. The decision to retire. You like your job. You like what you're doing. That's got to be a difficult decision. Yes, it was, but I would say I had my wake-up moment, or wake-up call was, 2020 opened up as a lot of people can relate a lot of our eyes. I looked at time was, you know, short. We were also in a location that my kids were not happy. Also, I started to realize that through my career, I was not living. I was just existing. And at that point, I decided it's time to get back our non-reduable resource, which is time. So in 2022, at the age of 44, I retired from, you know, my corporate job, because I wanted to spend more time with my wife, my kids, and also at the same time, my health, I believe I was over 300 pounds at the time. And I just said, nah, and I saw people in my industry, they work till 60, 65, and they spend their life generating wealth at the sacrifice of their health. And then they retire in two or three years later, they're dead. I said, that was not going to be my narrative. So, that's beautiful, man. And you look great. Thank you. I appreciate that. You know, God, I don't know if I could say this, but God, I give honor to God. How could you not say that, right? Say whatever you want. Yeah. I wanted to ask about people at work, though. You're retiring at 44 years old. I doubt they see that very often. No, they didn't. And believe it or not, I had the first kind of keep things under wraps as well. Because in the community I lived in, there was like six degrees of separation because I was like, okay, at the end of 2020, I decided we're going to retire. 2021, I said, we're going to work another year and a half, and put our house up for sale, because my kids were at the time we're in middle school, and it was very important to get our kids. My son was in eighth grade, and I said, I want you to, we want to get to a new high school. Before high school. When everybody's changing anyway, so it's going to be less painful. Yes. Yeah. And at the time, when I go back was, when I put our house up for sale, and medley co-workers are saying, hey, I heard you leaving or you moving, you know, everything okay? And I had to kind of come up with some kind of story, to say, no. No, we're just moving, you know, to a different neighborhood. Just find an opportunity. Yeah. But once I moved our family to, you know, so we moved to Texas, got them situated, and then I stayed in my job, and then gave them a six month notice that, I'm going to retire, but I want to stay for six months to help focus on the transition for whoever wants to come and take my spot. How did that conversation go? It was, when I told my supervisor, okay, that's fine. And that was it. That was it. And then made the announcement. You kind of get that pregnant pause, like, really? Yeah. No, that's the thing. It's funny. You're talking to so many retirees like, I don't know. This business needs me. And when you tell them you're not coming back the next day, they're like, yeah, okay. Yeah, we're fine. And you're like, oh, wait a minute. What? Like this business is going to be all right without me. The machine moves on. And it's nice that you had a company, because I found every company is different that you have to navigate that. You were actually able to do it in a really honorable, graceful way, which is beautiful. And then absolutely, because that's the thing you spend your life in a career to deliver success. And you want to make sure you walk away the way you want. Sure. And that was the thing that I kind of want is that I walked away on my terms, not on the company terms or anybody else deciding my destiny. Do you think about your money differently now? Like, are you thinking now that you're in spend mode that we only have so much money in the mountain and we got to be very careful with every dollar? Oh, absolutely. Oh, it was the first struggle, the first year, because I was still living in a spreadsheet, still looking at to optimize, still trying to give myself permission to spend. Is your spouse a spreadsheet person? Because mine isn't. If I was in a spreadsheet all day, my wife would just be so, she'd be like, get your head out of the spreadsheet. No, she's not, but she's been a great partner to sit down with me twice a month to look at how I spend in play. Good. That's the thing. I try to meet my wife where she's at versus, hey, you need to be where I'm at. Because of that partnership, she understands, you know, everybody calls it a budget. We call it a spending plan, because psychologically it gives us the authority we want to spend, but we got to spend within this plan. After the first year, we say, well, first I was like, we got to be kind of very tight and rigid. After that, I said, it's time to loosen up. It's time to live life, and my wife kind of gave me an awakening call as that. You retired early, so we can do the things, and I want to do the things. Yeah. No, that's good. Life is about life. That's where you pulled each other together and complemented each other in a healthy way. Absolutely. You said early or very candidly that after about a year, you started going through what a lot of retirees go through, started struggling a little bit with identity. Talk about that, because this happens more often than we'd like to think. Yes. The one thing that I talked to some people when I was going to retire, before I retired, give me some tips on what I should do, and they said, you make sure you retire to something, not from something. So I had to spend my first year finding what is my two. So I got involved. I always said I like personal finance. So I started saying, well, I want to do something in a personal finance service industry. So I got my life insurance license, and I went to go work for a life insurance broker, because they said, yes, and I tell you what. It was not, you know, I, let me first tell you, I learned a lot about life insurance. I learned about how great and important it is, but I was not great at selling it, because like, you know, one thing I know you say, Joe, I give you credit from your podcast. Life insurance is great. It's just badly sold. And what I saw in some of the industry is that people will sell it wrongly to the horrible. And so I stepped away from that. It's like, wow, that's not really what I wanted to do. And I didn't get deterred, because I thought, well, maybe financial services is not where I want to be. And you're not even selling it for money, because you have plenty of money. You're doing it to help your community to be a part of something bigger. Right. I just wanted to get connected and figure out how I can help people. And do something that you like, that you're interested in. Absolutely. And so I started meandering the wilderness and understanding, where can I find my way in financial services? And I said, well, I like coaching. I'm an ex-athlete. And being also being a past manager and leader of organizations, I love coaching people and developing, helping them be better than what they are. So I decided, let's be a financial coach and how you can help people be successful with their money. And I said, let me also to help get my education better. Let me get licensed, get some financial security license as well, that provides credibility with my credible story. Yeah. And so right now what I've been doing is coaching people, helping them, not, you know, the two most important things that I do when I coach people as first one is, instill confidence that they can be financial successful. The second thing is, just get started with investing. You'd help people understand that. They're 80% successful going to get there. What you invest in, what you try to modify, ask the allocations, that's easy. That's only 20%. Just get started. And then have the confidence that you can be financial successful. It's amazing how confidence has been this theme. There's always a theme when we do these popery episodes where you interview multiple people. But confidence has been a thing all night. For me, from starting at age 13, getting the confidence by 19 to do things, Adrian sling and poop over there. You know, you got to have lots of confidence to be sling and poop. What's that? Entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurs. Entrepreneurs. Yes. Yeah. Are you lit? We finally found out what that means. Yes. And then Jalen just said it. Confidence. Instilling confidence in people to just get moving. That's all it is. You know, just, there's people that I was trying, that I like to serve. And I called, served the underserved, that just help people understand that one, you can do this, and that there's ways, finding money in your spending plan, to get you starting and investing. And one thing that came out in his story, that I have no doubt is in, me and Adrian's story, is he started in life insurance. He had failures, or faults, starts, and he stopped, and he didn't say, oh, this is silly, I can't do this. He went and pivoted, pivoted and looked for another one. Found it. Yeah. Man, what's next? What's next for me is that, just want to continue to grow my, my community, you know, try to build my clientele and just work with others that need their financial literacy and coaching and confidence building. Anybody here bet against Jalen? Because I wouldn't, I would not bet against that freight train. Thank you. Everybody Jalen, thank you so much for hanging out with us. Fantastic. And this overriding idea of confidence, I just love Roger. Yeah, I think that is really cool. One thing that, another threat I think is here, is with the freaks community and with what he's doing, we talk about, how do normal people get good advice in coaching on finance and budgeting and everything else? And there's a lot to be said of what's horrible about the financial planning and advisory industry. But they're not just not designed to be able to help people where they're at. And I think financial coaching and these kind of communities, that actually is the answer because you can tell from the people that we've had, it's all about, they're doing it because they love it and they're passionate about it, not because they're trying to build some huge scaled business. And I think that's actually going to be the answer. It's so exciting. It just gives me so much hope for the future, especially when, you know, so much about the financial services industry rightfully. So it gets a pretty bad rap. Well, it's designed that way. It's just an economic engine, no different than any kind of big corporation. And there's this emerging cadre of coaches and communities where people can see people like them that are dealing with the same things. And there's some guides that don't have to know everything about finances, but know about mindset, and know about struggle, and know about overcoming those things. What's coming up next at the retirement answer man podcast? I have no idea. Well, that's great. I have no marketing. Well, January, we're going to have our next case study. So I have to figure out what our case study is going to be. What listener are we going to highlight and do a retirement? A listener every year. You take some listeners and people get to be a fly on the wall and hear you walk through their financial plan with them. Yeah, and last year it was a really interesting one with Rosie where her plan, she retired. It wasn't as resilient as it could have been, partly because of an advisor she had, and the bear market happened and her plan didn't work anymore. So that's what we hide it and light it last year. So I have to figure out we're going to highlight this year. Well, thanks so much to you for hanging out with us. Thanks to everybody here for hanging out with us. And most of all, big thanks to Mr. Stephen Boyer here who created this whole thing because we wouldn't be here if you were here brother. Thank you for bringing us all together. Yes. That's it from Camp 5. Doug, you got it from here, my friend, which should we have learned today? Well, Joe, first, take some advice from our staggers in Texas and get moving on your goals. It isn't what you know. It's what you do that matters and time is a currency you need to spend wisely every second. Speaking of second, take some more advice from Camp 5. Surround yourself with like-minded people. Reaching your goals is always easier that way. But the big lesson? If you want to save yourself a whole lot of money, skip Mountain Lake Lodge and just practice the famous lift scene from dirty dancing in a public pool instead. Come over here, OG. Come on, big fella. Thanks to all our friends at Camp 5 for joining us today. You know, rather than reading them all out loud here, head to our show notes and we'll have a complete list for you. So we'll have all y'all show notes at StackingBengements.com. All right, is that Texas enough? This show is the property of SB Podcasts LLC Copyright 2023 and is created by Joe Salcihi. Our producer is Karen Repind. This show will be written by Lisa Curry, who's also the host of the long story long podcast with help from me, Joe, and Doc G from the Earn in Invest Podcast. Kevin Bailey helps us take a deeper dive into all the topics covered on each episode in our newsletter called The 201. You'll find the 411 on all things money at The 201. Just visit StackingBengements.com slash 201. Wonder how beautiful we all are? Of course you'll never know if you don't check out our YouTube version of this show, engineered by Tina Eikenberg. Then you'll see once and for all that I'm the best thing going for this podcast. Once we bottle up all this goodness, we ship it to our engineer the amazing Steve Stewart. Steve helps the rest of our team sound nearly as good as I do right now. What a chat with friends about the show later. Mom's friend Gertrude and Kate Youngkin are our social media coordinators and Gertrude is the room mother in our Facebook group called The Basement. Say hello when you see us posting online. To join all the basement fun with other stackers, type StackingBengements.com slash Basement. Not only should you not take advice from these nerds, don't take advice from people you don't know. This show is for entertainment purposes only. Before making any financial decisions, speak with a real financial advisor. I'm Joe's mom's neighbor Doug and we'll see you next time back here at the StackingBengement Show. Doug, where did you go? On Delta Airlines. Your mom's house. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That might took him a little while. That was good. Nice try. This is from Daily Mail. A passenger's a horrific bowel movement forced a Delta flight from Atlanta to Barcelona to turn around. The passengers said it dribbled down the eye, and after using vanilla scented disinfectant, the planes smelt like vanilla poop. They agreed the pilots made the right decision and had to rip out the carpets once they landed. Did a passenger have diarrhea all the way through the airplane? I heard about that story. They had to rip out the carpets, Doug. Yeah. I'm sorry. I mean, they don't know that. Look, I did my best, but I haven't been doing my keg-a-lexer sizes in this fincter just good and hold it back. Dude, seriously? Very seriously? When I heard that, I'm like, how horrific will you? You just said, I'm sorry, kid, you get through this. You just had the beanage a lot of platter at the airport restaurant, and it turns out that it was bad, and you get off the plane, and you're rushing for it. I thought this through. I put a lot of time thinking about this. I mean, presumably, the person who shall be unnamed was wearing clothing. So for the fat's coming out of the clothing. I know it. I mean, just imagine how much pressure was built up. Oh, that's a serious... I really do feel bad for them. Yeah. Like, I'm like, oh my god. Swap into you today, Earl. I had to make the entire plane turn around. So after I saw this story, I was on a message board about flying. And someone linked this review, which we can post in the notes. This review... We can't read it all. It's way too long. I slacked it to you guys. Oh my god. Posted this review on Amazon for Haribo Goldbearers Gummy Candies. You're like, gummy bears. In the title of it is, hell holds no surprises for me anymore. So I've got this up on my big screen, my big monitor, and I still had to scroll one to... It's five screens long. Yes. So I'll read little bits of it, you know, and then we can link to it because it's way too long. Basically, to set the stage, the author is running late for his plane. He's flying to Denmark, I believe, out of Toronto. Out of Toronto, early evening, seven o'clock flight, and he hasn't eaten anything. And so he decides that he was going to get some gummy bears. And so he says, I would consider myself a prudent man, not given to bouts about spokenness or craving attention, and certainly not one to rock the boat on any given day. I can be found reading a crime novel on a park bench in the middle of the city, soaking in the opulence of nature when, while nibbling on my tuna fish sandwiches, fending off the veracious gulls and squirrels that thread dispoiled my repose. This is me, law-biting introspective, which is why I came as a shock to me to find myself incarcerated because of the devil's confectionery, Satan's sweet meat, sorcerers' launches, and the horror that is known as Herobo, sugar-free gummy bears. Lucifer's Lawsages is the best prince I've heard in weeks. I love the line further down OG where he says, I made a very, very poor choice. I pushed the button and the vet put their bag into my waiting hands. I had always liked gummy bears that were bright, but rather innocuous. They weren't overly sweet, so as to become cloying. And of course, each candy came in the visage of a rather happy, da-sal bear reminiscent of the picture one's minds I hold of all anthropomorphic bears from Yogi to Winnie. Like, it's going to be so nice. We're just all going to skip a log. Have you ever thought about that when you're eating your gummy bears? You're like, I love this. This is, this is amazing. Or Mac McCarthy has nothing on this guy. I did recently enjoy a bag of gummies, not to this guy's issue. I'd like to pause here in the story for a moment, I just wore the importance of making proper choices. I was hungry. And when you're hungry, you should eat food. Food is defined as a nutritious substance that people consume to maintain life. That's what food is. These days, the definition of food has been bastardized, and the meaning has been broad and to include a veritable any material that can be adjusted or rather chewed and swallowed without causing pain or discomfort, severe illness or death. Hairbow, sugar-free gummy bears are not food. They are not from this planet. I imagine the origins being conceived in a boardroom in hell by a top team of creative pain administers with senior level demons rubbing their hands together and ghoulish delight as hell's chief chemist slowly listed down on their new creation. Let's cut toward the chase as I gave the attendant my e-ticket and she weighed my bags. The first of the pains begin in my stomach. Over the course of the next five minutes, the shooting paid began to come in more rapid succession. At this point, I had my boarding pass printed and rubbing my stomach a little. I proceeded to security. I briefly entertained and thought of trying to find a restroom before going through security, but at that point, my discomfort was manageable and I didn't think it could get any worse. Certainly, not within the amount of time it would take to clear security. So there he is, walking through the security line and bad things are about to happen. As I fumbled off my belt to go through the metal detector, the pain in my stomach increase and I practically had to sit on the floor to take my shoes off, terrified of what would happen. If I'd been at the middle to do it, it was becoming increasingly more evident to me that this wasn't just a stomach ache. No, this was something much worse. As a child, I'd had about a diarrhea after a trip to Mexico with my family. I remember the feeling of nausea that swept through me before my child's self had surrendered to the gaspains and parked myself on the toilet for hours, sh**, until I felt like I did have any bones left. And that was how I was feeling now with several key differences. The pain was worse. The sense of an impending bowel movement was so formidable, it gave me temporary amnesia and it took all my willpower, all of it, to clench my cheeks together to prevent my sphincter from exploding. This is horrible. So does he make it to the plane? Oh, God no. One of these paragraphs just starts off with, spread your cheeks, the young agent said, this voice directly behind me and lower than the other two and bend over. Please, God no, please, please, please, God, please, God, please, God, I whispered in a desperate maniacal mantra, not even aware of my surroundings anymore. Because he was acting so off-kilter in the security line, as he cleared security, he was met with three agents and ushered into a back room. And he was pleading with them the entire time, I have to go to the bathroom. So they think one of the agents actually says he's probably, he has a bag of heroin that exploded inside. He probably has some heroin or something up there, yeah. That's why he's acting so funny, sweating profusely, I mean, it goes on, but this is kind of the pinnacle, pinnacle is, it took something as simple as a light breeze to trigger on again. That's all. No trumpet, no fanfare, no fire raiding from the heavens, no dogs and cats living together harmony, no finger on the butt, no profits predicted, no nothing. As I stared at the rainbow bear smiling and dancing in front of me, my mouth agape, drooling eyes, glazed a bloodshot, face coated with a sheen of sweat. I heard the softest sound, an exhalation from a young agent behind me. Then at the same instant, a warm air of breath feather across my butt cheeks for just a moment, maybe less, maybe split second, even a nanosecond. I felt the presence of God there with me in that room. As the neurons began to misfire at a blinding rate, nerve ending bristled in muscle twitched reflexively, I stood at the brake with one foot hovering over the edge and then without taking a step, I found myself plummeting. With a sound like extra large plastic ketchup bottle being riddled by a MAC truck, my eyes finked or released. The pressure of the blast pushed me hard into the desk and the legs of the desk screeched as I scraped across the floor of my body, remained rigid for a moment, and I experienced a relief that it could only be described as orgasmic in this room. My eyes rolled in the back of my head and my tongue lulled out of my head like a dog, and I emitted a low-sustained groan that grew in pitch as the filthy torrent pushed its way out of my body. Tremors racked my body and I must have looked like a fish out of water with an endless stream firing out of its ass. Other sounds and cessation started to filter, and now it's my consciousness began to materialize once more. The muffled scream of a dungeon filled with prisoners near death radiated for my stomach, the rushing sounds of leaders of liquid trying to escape through an aperture too small to accommodate, and the omnipresent sound of chunking liquid splattering against the heart of the surface, the high pitch screaming of a woman's voice calling out to God, the other voice sobbing uncontrollably, imploring to make it stop and my own ecstatic monotone whale. It goes on. This is worth a read. My favorite part of this OG, down at the end, single sentence paragraph needless to say, I miss my flight.