The Naked Money Meeting: Where Money and Communication Collide
It's Monday morning in America.
Oh, smokers got smokers got to get it.
Go ahead.
I actually got to get the motor running.
But you know what?
I was able to travel very safely and calmly
across the United States to get here
to be here with you gentlemen this morning.
And it's because of those people protecting us,
protecting our borders, making it easy for us
to just galvanize across the USA as Doug likes to say.
Or is it skip?
Doug, do you say skip?
I don't know what that word means.
But I troll up across the USA.
So our troll up Doug, OGNI would like to
big salute to the toast.
Toast the troops.
How about that?
Raise your mugs.
On behalf of the men and women.
Oh, make sure.
Showing Joe's cleavage as your mug.
Look at that.
That is nice.
Everyone you didn't have that neck fat up there.
It's PHAT.
It's a gizzard neck fat PHAT.
It's a gizzard.
That's the men and women.
Biggy podcast of Bob's basement.
And men and women at Navy Federal Credit Union,
years to our troops.
Let's go stacks and benchmarks.
I look out my window, and I see my neighbor.
Doug, four lazy, deplorable Doug.
Live from Joe's mom's basement.
It's the stacking Benjamin show.
I'm Joe's mom's neighbor, Doug.
Wish your financial situation were sexier.
Well, today, we learn how to spice things up in the bedroom
and every other room in your house
by communicating with your partner about money
with Erin Skykelling.
For our TikTok Minute, we'll prove you can still look
great while saving a buck.
In our headlines, crypto is in the news again.
Time to put on your diamond hands and go all in.
We have opinions.
Plus, we'll throw out the Haven Lifeline to Stackers Zachary.
Shouldn't that be Stackery Zachary?
Anyway, who wants to know which companies
are leaving money on the table
with their lackluster ad campaigns?
Lisa said she'd give me five bucks if I said Stackery.
That's why I did that.
And then, if you're a game, I'll share some joyful trivia.
And now, two guys who I like to describe as Indorzy,
it's Joe and O-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J.
Hey there, Stackers, and Happy Monday to you.
I am Joe Salcihi, and across the card table
from me, the most Indorzy guy that we do.
Mr. OG, how are you, my friend, Happy Monday?
A little Indorzy, only because it's 1,000 degrees,
although I get outside every day now.
Okay, I'm a, I'm a, well, now,
I wouldn't call myself a pro cyclist at this point,
but I'm moving.
You're stopping just short of that?
I'm moving toward it.
The big question is, is he's got an electric bike
and he's considering joining some races.
I do not have an electric bike.
The first, thank you very much.
First professional cyclist with a huffy laugh.
If you want, I just got a brand new bike.
Oh, nice.
I'm loving it.
Fantastic.
You upgraded to the Schwinn.
Now you got the Schwinn.
I got rid of the Schwinn.
Oh, that's a good brand.
Hey, welcome to the, hey, we like to bicycle podcast.
I'm Joe Salcihi.
I have a show money on Twitter.
We already said that.
Did we?
And I'm going right back into it.
I've been out of the office for just over a week
and I'm losing it, but you know,
we're going to get it back together here
because Aaron Sky Kelly, OG is back.
She is back.
People may know her as somebody who does a lot of touring
with a little guy named Tony Robbins.
There's nothing little about Tony Robbins.
There's really nothing small big hands.
His teeth are as big as my ears.
Does have big teeth.
But Aaron Sky Kelly does not.
She has a great, great new book
where she's talking about getting out of debt
and for people that didn't hear Aaron
when she was on the show a couple of years ago.
We're about to have some fun.
Talking about getting naked with their money.
OG, but before that, we got a headline.
But before even that, time for me, I think guys
to show you my, my slideshow of the dog you were asking
about my trip out west.
I love your slide shows.
How are my really doing?
Here we go.
I would prefer it if you just did the slide shows
and didn't talk.
Oh, please get it.
Well, hold on.
How about if I showed you guys the slides and I did this?
Have got a fantastic podcast recommendations
for when you're done with this episode of Stacking Vegetements.
You know, often we listen to shows like Stacking Vegetements
because we're so anxious.
We're so worried about our money
that we just need to know more.
I agree.
Knowing more about a topic is a great way to calm down
and to relax about it.
But often we look for these external ways to get less anxious
when we truly got a look in,
which is why I like Kitty Kremitzzo Show Meditation
for Anxiety.
They're guided meditations to help ease anxiety.
You can feel more calm and peaceful in minutes.
Super easy.
You just press play and listen,
whenever worry or stress is too much.
If you're really feeling intense, worry, well,
it can certainly help during times of overwhelm.
Helps me fall asleep.
My mind's anxious and keeping me awake.
So do what I do.
Subscribe to Meditation for Anxiety
on your favorite podcast player.
That's Meditation for Anxiety and we'll have a link
in our show notes at StackingBedgments.com.
That's great, Joe.
But I'd like to see something other than your hotel room.
Oh, oh, well, we went to this bakery.
Take a look at this.
It could be information to change your life forever
or the something you should know podcast
could just be something interesting.
My guest is Kim Zachman.
She is author of the book,
There's No Cream and Cream Soda.
I don't think I've ever really known the story
of why they're called hot dog.
There is so many legends about the name of the hot dog.
When the Germans immigrants came over
and they brought all their sausages,
they also brought their docksins.
It really is because they kind of look like docksins.
Something you should know wherever you listen.
Isn't that great?
Those are the most lured donuts I've ever seen.
We got Aaron Sky Kelly.
That's just disgusting.
Nothing bigger than...
I guess Bakery and Colorado,
they can do whatever the hell they want now.
Nothing better than a Hertz donut as they say.
No, no.
What?
Anyway, Aaron Sky Kelly is here.
Let's go.
Hello, doggies.
And now it's time for your favorite part of the show.
I was stacking Benjamin's headlines.
I'm going to apologize to everybody
because I'm just like a pony with a cough.
Oh, gee, I'm a little horse.
No, God, just...
Is Len writing for you now?
Is Len Panzo your own personal jokifier?
I don't know.
That today's headline comes to us from CNBC,
a spot Bitcoin ETF, OG, a spot Bitcoin ETF.
Great.
Much closer to reality, but investors aren't quite there yet.
This is written by Bob Pisani.
Bob writes, well, now the SEC is in a real pickle.
The US Court of Appeals for the DC Circuit
sided with grayscale and a lawsuit against the SEC
greatly improving the chances
that a Bitcoin exchange trade-of-von will be approved.
The SEC had earlier denied grayscales application
for its grayscale Bitcoin trust to an ETF.
Looks like we're getting another, possibly another.
Bitcoin derived ETF on the market.
I would be really interested to see
what the uptake is of that
since the mania surrounding Bitcoin has kind of died down.
This is going to be much to do about nothing.
The SEC's like, yeah, go ahead and make a mutual fund
or ETF.
Let's see how much money you raise.
Oh, you didn't raise enough money
and you shut it down?
Weird.
I just don't understand.
So this is a spot Bitcoin ETF and a spot ETF
means it works a lot like a futures contract.
So they look at Bitcoin futures contracts buying,
buying those.
And because of the fact that the SEC in the past
has approved a Bitcoin futures-based product,
the court said in essence, and now I'm quoting Bob Pisani,
hey, you approved a futures-based Bitcoin product.
The futures in the spot market are like products.
If you prove one, you have to approve the other.
I'm in the market for that.
Yeah, I don't understand why you would want to put that.
It's not any more liquid because you can trade Bitcoin
instantaneously, right?
Maybe because there's some lower carrying costs
because you're buying it at scale.
Or trading costs, I should say.
When you trade your Bitcoin, you get some pretty awful prices
if you're not paying attention to where you're buying it
and selling it.
A lot of commissions baked into it.
But if you're buying it from an investment standpoint
and you're saying, this is an investment I believe in,
why wouldn't you just go out and buy the thing?
Just get your coin-based account and buy it.
If you're taking that much risk in your portfolio
with that type of volatility
and still know a pushable history
that we can look back on on these products
to really talk about what stimuli change the market.
If you're gonna take that type of risk,
I'm with you.
It's almost like you're just dipping your toe in a,
you know, they say dip your toe in the water,
you dip in your toe and I'm trying to find the analogy
in a boiling pool of water, I don't know.
Yes, yeah, something.
Oh gee, there are nine of these products.
There must be a demand because there's nine of these products
for a spot Bitcoin ETF that the SEC is going to rule on.
The first one was the ARC 21 shares Bitcoin trust
and there's grayscale which they just talked about
bitwise Bitcoin, BlackRock, VNAC, Wisdom Tree,
Valkyrie and Vesco and Fidelity even has one
that they're trying to get approved.
I just don't understand.
If I'm buying, if I'm buying this type of product,
I'm just buying it.
Buy yourself some crypto and go get diamond hands
as Doug likes to say.
Doug's a big fan of jazz hands.
Jazz hands.
Yeah, their diamond heads a step up from jazz hands.
I'll do it.
It's I'll do it.
I'm not afraid if that's if it's better.
That's exactly where he goes like this.
I think our takeaway there is just if you're going to buy it
by it and by the way, O.G.
Buy Bitcoin and what's your cap and a portfolio
buy in this type of thing like sandbox, money, what two,
three, roughly zero percent.
Is that rounding?
Are you rounding for that?
Rounding up by it's close to zero as you feel comfortable
with I just hover around there.
If you get nervous around zero, then I go even less.
I think my crypto account has five grand in it.
I think mine has a 15, no, mine is 1800.
You know what I know?
It had five grand in it, didn't it?
No, it's it's all in Ethereum.
It went down I bought it I bought it a year ago.
I was actually in Colorado and I get a notice on my phone
that says that my my account with my Ethereum
has a notification.
I'm like, oh man, what happened?
Has the has has it finally happened?
Can I retire?
I was actually thinking the other.
I'm like, is it finally worthless?
Is it could I stop checking it?
And I saw that it had gone up like 5.6% already that day.
Back to about $80 below where I bought it.
Yeah, yeah.
So anyway, which by the way,
so just kind of an actionable thing here with your crypto.
Right now, presently, there's no wash sale requirements
for cryptocurrency.
So if you do have an investment of Bitcoin or Ethereum
or whatever and it's gone down,
you can sell it, take the capital loss, turn around
and re buy it the next nanosecond
and establish a new cost basis.
So if you're looking for ways to save a few bucks on taxes,
you can do that.
Gotta be aware of there's a commission, right?
So there's a trading cost to do that.
So be cognizant of that.
But you can wipe out that that loss and kind of start over.
New year, new Joe.
What I'm still stuck on is,
you said you're at about 5,000 in yours.
Does that show up on your pie chart as nearly zero percent?
Yes.
Because holy crap, that's a hell of a portfolio.
If it rounds to zero percent,
I can't do the math on how many zeros
are on your total portfolio.
For planning purposes, he calls it zero.
We're going to dive more into this.
And by the way, part of the SEC's ruling on this
was that they feel like the futures market in crypto,
believe it or not, OG could be manipulated.
I know you find that hard to believe.
There might be forces manipulating these markets.
I know it is weird.
We will dive more into that in the 201
or newsletter that comes out on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
We dive deeper into these areas with curated links
to people who are really in the weeds on all of these topics,
techabedgments.com slash 201 to get the 201 newsletter.
Time for a TikTok minute.
This is a part of the show where we dive into
a TikTok creator either doing something brilliant
or hashtag brilliant.
We know which way OG's probably going.
So Doug, we'll go back to you here
at the beginning of another eight weeks.
You think this is brilliant or hashtag brilliance?
I'm skeptical today.
And on this one, Joe, I know where I normally lean,
but I'm not sure.
So I'm going to say it's mostly brilliant.
Like it has, I think it probably has some niche use
and some part of all of our listeners' lives,
but I don't know that it's a blank,
I can go blank at statement brilliant.
Oh, God, just pick one.
Please, God.
Can I qualify it a little bit more?
Here's one of them.
Here's one of them.
Here's my bet.
This is from TikTok user Memezi,
who actually stole it directly from ABC News.
And this is why OG, when an influencer tells you
that something is a great deal and is awesome,
you might still want to think about it a little bit.
Behold, policy.
We built a fake luxury store in Los Angeles
and filled it with payless shoes.
The guests at our grand opening party had no idea.
Guests invited to check out what looked
like a luxury shoe shop.
They're elegant, sophisticated.
I just think it's so classy.
And I could tell it was made with high quality material.
A $35 shoe going for $645,
an 1,800% markup.
Store owners sat on their heels
as fashion influencers emptied their wallets.
I would pay $400, $500.
Yeah, people are going to be like,
where'd you get those?
Those are amazing.
Then they're let in on the prank.
These are actually from payless.
What?
You've got to be kidding me.
Shut up.
Shut up.
The best marketing scheme ever.
This is not a new thing.
This came out years ago.
And all I could think of is,
how did payless convince ABC News
to be their outlet for this?
I'd never seen that before.
Oh, yeah, that was that that's years old.
I was a sans auto-aligo on brand.
Polesie.
I love that.
They put in high-lessy.
Polesie for payless.
That's right.
So, so good.
Be careful.
We still see this today, though.
I mean, we see it all the time.
These Instagram influencers.
What was the first thing?
What's this brand of pants?
These people need to be a sponsor because I keep talking.
Geories.
Geories.
Or Lulus.
Yes.
My personal proclivities.
Well, we actually you and I at dinner with our spouse is OG,
we're talking about this and why?
Because I have seen all over my soul.
You are some hot joggers.
I saw all over my social media.
All I saw was this commercials for this product.
Just Instagram.
I mean, they've been around for several years.
So I'd never had time to cut up.
Good stuff.
Thanks to Stack or Jennifer for sending that to us.
You got one.
Send it to me, Joe at stackabudgments.com.
Coming up next, Erin Sky Kelly is a woman
who is in deep debt herself.
She teaches other people how to, to quote the title of her first book,
get the hell out of debt.
And today she's going to be teaching us how to get naked with our money.
Oh, wow.
Yes.
It's a little less thing I need to see.
I am all in.
Doug naked with this money.
Oh my God.
Naked with all $11.
Just going to be lots of naked and not a lot of dollar bills covering it.
Can we?
Can we get out where the coins go?
If we could have Doug not get naked with the trivia,
that would be great while Erin comes down to the basement.
Hey, there stackers, I'm Joe's mom's neighbor,
Doug, and on this day in 1977, the legendary Atari
released their first game console.
Five years earlier, the company's founders
gave NewHier Allen Alcorn an assignment
to create a test project.
That's Allen Alcorn, not to be confused with my pet squirrel
that I've named Allen Acorn.
Anyway, with no prior video game making knowledge,
Alcorn built the now legendary Pong.
Although Pong was never intended for commercial release,
Atari's founders knew they had a great product and soon,
but on the market.
Later, as Atari grew, the company
hired two young developers.
I mean, I don't know, you've never heard of these guys.
Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniakki, whoever they are,
to help create new games.
Today's trivia question is,
how many units of Atari were sold between its launch in 1977
and its final day of production in 1992?
Is it 3 million, 30 million, or 300 million?
I'll be right back with the answer
after I give Allen Acorn a bath.
Hey there, stackers, I'm video game lover,
and retired squirrel groomer, Joe's mom's neighbor Doug.
On this day in 1977, gaming company Atari released their namesake
console, Atari.
By the end of that year, the company had already sold nearly 400,000 units
at 200 bucks a pop, or about 1,000 bucks in today's dollars,
all in, that's 80 million dollars worth of joystick.
They might risk it entire just thinking of that.
Today's trivia question was,
how many units of the Atari 2600 were sold
between its launch in 1977 and its final day of production
in 1992?
Was it 3 million, 30 million, or 300 million?
The answer, 30 million!
To the math and even at the original price,
that's enough income to buy an entire country.
Time for me to learn how to build Atari's.
So how does 30 million stand up to today's consoles?
Sony so far has sold over 560 million playstations.
Apparently, we're even more addicted to video games.
And now, here to help prevent you from having
finance related arguments with your partner, it's Aaron Skykelling.
I'm super happy she's sitting down with us
at the card table in the basement again.
Aaron Skykelling's back.
Hi, my cheeks already hurt from laughing,
and we haven't even started.
Well, I'm excited, everybody's excited, except mom,
because I heard you're here to get naked.
Are you here to get naked?
Listen, mom, clothing is optional, OK?
I promise you, we're going to get naked emotionally.
We're going to get real good raw and naked
when it comes to our money.
Ambiguity.
Well, because, as you know, a lot of people
when they are talking about their money,
or thinking about their money, they
are trying to imagine in their mind
that things are better than they actually are.
Yes.
That inhibits their wealth building.
Right, or if I just don't look at it,
if I put lots of clothes on it, to use your analogy,
if I stuff it full of clothes, and I wear the right color,
I look great even though it's a mess.
Yeah, and so now when we see that somebody's
got their head in the sand financially speaking,
we're going to be like, you've got a financial mumu on right now.
That's what you and I will call it.
You, in fact, say you begin this project
by saying that a lot of the concepts you use in this book
will make Grandma blush.
Yeah.
So if somebody's really sensitive with euphemisms
or that kind of a thing, it's probably not
going to be the book for you.
Well, let's actually talk about what this is all about,
because I think we actually get to it right in the dedication.
Like the dedication sets the stage,
which I don't think I've ever, you know,
what, 12 years of doing this here,
and I don't think I'm ever like, let's talk about the dedication.
But I just want to read your words to everybody,
because this is, this is good.
So a reading, a dramatic reading by Joe Salsihai,
a variance guy Kelly.
Before we said goodbye, we plop down on the return couch
in the Aziz section.
Like what a great opening line.
He'd met me there because it was a two birds
of one stone scenario.
The birds were that I need to pick up furniture for a rental
and that we hadn't had a visit in a long time.
The stone was Ikea.
I think, I think we saw at least a half dozen romantic
relationships die in the warehouse that day.
I've seen the same people arguing over that.
All while we were unknowingly building ours up
from friendship to love, our conversation flowed freely
while I interrupted with measurements or photographs
of things named null ruffs or letter-lappin
or maybe my favorite Spencecock,
which I'm going to say that very quickly.
Either there's, there's Aaron Tuber right there.
Either I had to be somewhere I pre-lied
and said I had to be somewhere in case he wanted to visit
longer because time wasn't a luxury for me then.
But when we completed the maze, we sat down briefly
to wrap up whatever story one of us was in the middle
of telling somehow on that clip and sofa,
everything shifted.
In the years that have followed,
we built more than just furniture,
but there have been times when I wanted to take advantage
of Ikea's very generous return policy
and drop him off with the receipts.
I felt that way about, shareles felt that way about me.
Let's put it more bluntly.
Certainly he would have exchanged me for something
that came with clear instructions
and wasn't missing parts.
I don't know exactly how we got from here to there,
but it involved a lot of taking apart
and putting back together.
But we reminded ourselves that we are called to love as is
and that has been our commitment ever since.
That's what a great dedication.
Oh, thank you.
You just made me, when I hear you say it,
I'm like, oh, that is kind of romantic, that's all.
It was romantic, but it is true, right?
I mean, we are as is and I think you spend a lot of time
in this project talking about how we're as is.
Yeah, and I think the thing that's most important for me
is that I've seen so many couples,
because of course I've done a lot of work
with people helping them get out of debt.
The first book was called Get the Hell out of Debt.
So I've seen a lot of couples come at relationship problems
with a financial lens instead of coming at finances
with a relational lens.
Oh.
And so what I see happen,
and I know you see it too over and over again,
is people are fighting about money,
but it's not about the money.
And so it's really important to me that we understand
that our partners are not ever going to be right,
and we're not ever going to be right.
We're only ever seeing things through our own lenses,
and it's important to try not to change our partners,
financial behaviors, not to try and fix them,
but to love unconditionally from a place of understanding
that those financial patterns are there
because of something that happened in them in childhood,
or something that happened to them in early adulthood,
and they keep living it out over and over,
even though they might not be seeing the results
they want to see from it.
So we have to look past those incidents
and see that the child or the wound
that that person's operating their finances from,
and love them from that place
if we want to heal what's going on in our wallets.
It's so hard though.
It is so.
I mean, this will be 30 years,
that sure, and I have been married this year, Aaron,
and yesterday we were flying back home from somewhere,
but I remember she said something,
I'm like, she just wouldn't do that anymore.
Right.
If she would not do that thing,
I'm like, it's been 30 years.
And we still do it.
We still get, I still get judgy after 30 years.
Yes, well, because the other thing is you are a financial expert,
so it's really hard, I think, for you to take off that
expert lens and see your wife as a soul to soul, human to human,
when you know that behaviors lead people to a certain place
or things that people do, patterns that they have,
lead to a certain outcome that they don't want,
but we keep self-sabotaging anyway.
It's the most bizarre thing that we do.
And we're not doing it because we're trying to screw up
or we're, you know, most of the time
we don't even recognize we're doing it.
Well, I thought about that reading your words
because, you know, there's this one thing
that bothers me about her.
I'm sure reading through your money blocks,
there's like five that I have that I'm sure drive her crazy
and somehow we made it.
What is a naked money meeting?
So a naked money meeting is really about you being completely
vulnerable and like raw and honest with where you are
so that when you're having conversations with your partner,
it's not about like you're spending too much
on Dunkin' Donuts, you need to change that.
It's about understanding, listen,
when you're spending that much money on Dunkin' Donuts,
I feel like our retirement is going to a donut shop
and I'm getting very scared and fearful
that we're not gonna have enough.
Can we talk about that?
Instead of putting the blame on someone else,
it's taking full and real responsibility.
Like, I don't know if you've ever been naked
in front of a mirror before, do you do that
or is that just a woman thing?
I do, I do like, I'm in front of that.
So when you're naked in front of the mirror,
like you cannot hide, you can wear a brush up bra,
you can do all the things,
but the minute you're naked that you step out of the shower,
it's like everything is real and raw
and so that is what the truth is.
And so a naked money meeting is really getting
to the truth behind the numbers.
And what's interesting is that we all have
basically a money block, you've alluded to this,
I'll explain what this is and then that may help explain
a naked money meeting.
So we all have certain money blocks,
things that prevent us from really reaching
our full financial potential.
For some people that means financial freedom,
for some people that means getting out of debt,
for some people that means having enough
in their savings account to feel comfortable.
But there's always something that's kind of preventing us.
Very few people have zero money blocks.
And basically that block is there
because of a series of things that have happened
as we talked about that formed a pattern or behavior
that we live out even if we don't like the result of it.
But it's because it's what we know
and humans are horrible for that.
We do the same thing over and over and over again.
The amount of times I've eaten Cheetos
and been like, I gotta stop doing this.
But I eat them anyway, right?
I'll have orange fingers on me like this has got to change
and it doesn't change, right?
I remember as a kid being rewarded with Cheetos
when I would get to hang out with my brothers
and I felt cool and I felt like included
and so Cheetos for me mean something completely different
than Cheetos mean for my friend who does yoga.
Very, very different interpretation Cheetos.
Same thing with money.
So what I've discovered essentially
through doing this work through years and years and years
is that there are eight major money blocks.
And so we all have what's called a primary block, right?
So for some people that it's called a spend block
but there's 20 different ways it'll show up, right?
It's so it might mean a spend block might mean
that every time money hits your bank account
you just feel compelled to get rid of it.
So you're either buying stuff
or you're just immediately paying bills
but you're not building your own well first.
Other people, they might have $60,000 in credit card debt
and $80,000 in savings
but they just can't pay off that credit card debt
and so the spend block is there stopping them
because they don't want to let go of that money, right?
So basically anything that blocks the flow of wealth
is what we would call a money block.
I can't tell you how often Aaron I saw that
but I haven't been an entrepreneur in a long time
but back when I was I would see that all the time.
And I'm like, hey, I know you're paying me a lot of money.
Take that money and pay off that debt.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
And they're like, I can't do it.
I can't, I can't do it.
It's a block, it's a major block.
And when they understand why and it gets easier, right?
But we have to condition that new pattern
so that they get used to sort of more of an expansion
than a contraction.
The expansion being growing into building more wealth
versus like restricting and feeling like that sense
of I can't is basically fear is what that is.
So when they, when we can kind of understand
what our primary block is, we really can clearly then see
how it's stopping us from building wealth
and so then we, as we slowly undo that block,
what we'll notice is even without a whole lot of trying,
like it doesn't have to be a grind,
it doesn't have to be that sort of hustle mentality,
it doesn't have to be that way.
The flow of money into our lives will be easier
because we're not getting in our own way.
So what happens is you have a primary money block
and Cheryl has a primary money block
and where those two blocks intersect,
I can tell you what's going on in your relationship
and what you're fighting about.
And that's where the fascinating work happens.
But this money meeting, you point out
can happen alone, like even if you're solo,
it, I mean, you know, you say
that you can't solve other people's issues,
you could just know what you've got inside.
And I think for many of us, it was funny
because when I read this work, I thought this was all
gonna be about like the tactics around having the meeting
and it's not at all.
And it's also not as much about the other person,
like this whole work is about what's inside of you,
not the other person.
I know and I joke in the book, like I'm sure you're here
because you want me to tell how you partner
that they're wrong.
And so, you know, I'm not gonna do that.
That's what it's, when we go to couples counseling,
like the amount of people, you know,
women are like, oh, I think we should go to couples counseling.
What they're secretly hoping for
is the counselor's gonna be like,
you're an idiot.
And he's wrong.
Yeah.
Right, your husband is a moron.
Thank you.
That's both of us.
Right.
So what's interesting about any sort of work
in relationship is when there's a pattern
in the relationship, like where your money block
and Cheryl's money block, for instance,
where those intersect and it's causing maybe
a financial friction or financial resentment
or whatever's happening, all you need to do
is change you for that pattern to change.
So we don't even need to worry about our partner's changing.
We have to love them wholly and completely for who they are,
as we've mentioned.
And we can do our own work on ourselves
and that will inevitably change the pattern anyway.
Now, usually what happens is when that pattern shifts,
a partner usually comes on board, especially if they love you,
they will usually get on board.
But when you try and drag your partner
or like convince them they need to do something
or you nag them to change, it doesn't work.
So the only person who really ultimately can do this work is you.
We make it a bigger block for me.
Like if Cheryl tells me to stop doing something,
that means I found the button.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You wanted that garbage taken out this week?
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm in the middle of something.
Yeah, why do we do that?
I don't know why we do that.
They talk about sabotage.
That's a whole different thing.
So where does budgeting fit in here then?
Oh, well, there's definitely some tactical,
practical information involved in all of this.
And obviously you have to manage the cash flow
and you have to manage your net worth
and the budget's job is to increase the net worth.
But if you've got a money block,
you might find that budgeting just isn't working
the way it ought to be.
Like you just keep sabotaging, right?
Or for some people who have what's called a hard work block,
their primary belief underneath everything
is that in order to have more money,
I have to work more, more hours or have to work harder.
And we see this sometimes even in a generational thing.
And it bleeds out into other people
because we often put upon other people the idea
that, oh, that person's so great,
they're such a hard worker.
And so we honor that, which reinforces
that that's how they need to get out of debt,
but they're running out of time, they're exhausted,
doing so much.
It's the relationship between that and budgeting
is that if you're working three jobs and you're running ragged,
sometimes if we're not paying attention to those dollars,
the results of what we're doing aren't showing up
in that net worth or in that budget.
And so we have to do, we absolutely have to keep control
of the cash flow is coming in so that we can see
that the work we're doing matters.
And what's cool about this is when you master,
you know all this, it's so funny talking to you about this
because I'm like, I'm going to play in budgeting to jail.
There we go.
No, because this is way more psychological,
I think that most people get into budgeting.
But me included, like you're going way deeper here, sister.
And I don't think I even understood this.
Like when I was, you know, for if you're brand new
to Ayronska Kelly, at one point in my life,
I was $2.1 million in debt.
And I really thought it was a math problem.
And then when I uncovered a lot of things,
I was like, wait a second, wait a second.
I was behaving this way or doing this
because I was trying to out-earn my spending
and I was trying to do all these other things that didn't work.
So I had to get to the root of all that.
Then when I got out of debt and started to build wealth
and other people would ask me how and I would help them,
I saw these patterns and other people.
And I just started to document everything
because I was fascinated by what was going on.
And the other interesting piece is that
if you just try and do this work,
like this sort of psychological money mindset stuff,
but you're not tracking your money, it's useless
because you won't have the proof.
The numbers don't lie, as you know, right?
We can convince ourselves of anything, right?
I can, all through COVID, I convinced myself my weight gain
wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be.
And then, you know, I had a naked moment
in front of the mirror.
I'm like, okay, we gotta deal with this.
This is, it's time.
It's funny because it's tracking combined with emotion.
Like, it's not either or if it's all emotion,
you're right, big deal.
But if I see that my emotions go this way
and my spending pattern follows it,
then it's gonna be easier to follow the river
toward where the blocks are.
You got it, absolutely.
I have a quiz in the book, it's like this chapter four
is like this comprehensive, you know,
and more comprehensive.
Yeah, and so there's a shortened,
a bridged version on the internet
at nakedmoneymeatings.com,
but a lot of women love the book
because it reminds them of doing the Cosmo quizzes
that we all did.
20 years ago, you'd sit down with a magazine
and then, you know, you figure out if you're hot girl,
you're a good girl, hot, mad girl hot.
Those titles that would crack me up.
You know, eight days to please your man.
Yeah.
Especially like what?
What the hell?
Stupid, all stupid.
It's got a big comprehensive quiz in it.
So it'll tell you what your primary block is.
And for a lot of people, they're like,
oh my gosh, I have all the blocks, right?
Oh my gosh, this is all of it.
And there are eight, but you will have a,
you most people have a primary in a secondary.
But what's interesting is that if you
just read the headings for the blocks,
like, you know, the lack block, the spend block,
the worthiness block,
once you read those, most people are like, oh.
I'm that one, that one, that one.
Yeah.
Without even doing the quiz.
So you know.
Let's go through them.
Let's go through them and let's just do
a few sentences on each.
Just so people know these different blocks.
The lack block.
Yeah, well, the lack block is really all about
your focus being on all the things you don't have
versus all of the things that you do.
And this is really important because this is sometimes
a learned behavior.
People think, oh, I'm just a pessimist.
And this other person's an optimist.
It's not true.
It's where your focus is.
And so when you've been conditioned to focus
on what's missing for long enough,
what happens is you end up in a lack mindset.
And so you'll sabotage yourself
because even when something good comes your way,
it's almost like, you can't believe it.
So you look for what's wrong
and you miss out on financial opportunities.
So that's the lack block.
I think Instagram and TikTok make this worse.
They do, they do.
But seriously, you see what all the riches
everybody else has, right?
That I don't have.
Yes, and it's all imaginary.
So the other thing you need to know is that's all a lie.
All that TikTok stuff is false.
But yeah, focusing on the lack block
or focusing on lack will bring a block of abundance to you
because you're going to miss it every time.
The spend block.
This one's really fun.
So this one I see a lot of in my work
with people who are in debt.
And it's so closely related to another block
called worthiness.
This one is really about feeling like
you can't control your spending.
You'll either try and get control,
which is what we see in people
that have a lot of savings and a lot of debt,
but they don't understand, you know,
when you understand network, you'll be like,
oh, I actually don't have this savings.
The savings is imaginary
because it's canceled out by the debt I have, right?
But the difference is you either hoard
because you're trying to control
or you feel a loss of control.
But at the same time, interestingly,
the loss of control is trying to get control.
So the way you start to feeling control
of your money is you'll spend.
So usually something's happened.
Like as a kid, your parents said no to you a lot
or you miss it on a lot of opportunities.
So now that you're an adult and you have a credit card,
you feel like you can't say no to yourself.
That's one way it'll manifest.
Like there's lots of different ways.
But basically, how it shows up
is it prevents you from building wealth
because you're spending on liabilities
or consumer goods or other things
and not spending on assets, which creates more abundance.
So the block is that you're spending
is preventing you from building wealth.
It's funny, there's a friend of mine
you'd love this woman, Buffy Purcell.
She is a big guy.
I love her already by her name, Buffy Purcell.
Yeah, Buffy's amazing.
Buffy, I want to meet you.
Oh, oh, she's a bravo star
and just she's got like half a million people
follow her on TikTok.
But she's got this great phrase here
and that you'd love where she says the three worst words
a broke person can say is I deserve it.
Because I think it's this block, right?
This is block, yeah.
I just deserve, I don't have the money,
but I deserve it.
So yeah, and then we get into trouble.
By the way, this I think you point out
is kind of where the budget comes in.
You said that this is, because a budget will stop you
from some of these dumb purchases.
You talked about during COVID, you had to have,
you had to have like a paint by numbers kit.
I don't know what was wrong.
I had a momentary lapse of idiotity.
The next block is the worthiness block.
We just talked about this a little bit.
I don't deserve it.
Yeah, it is, I don't deserve it.
Worryiness is such a huge one.
And what's interesting about the worthiness block
is we all have it to some degree
because the core human fear is that I won't be loved
and I'm not enough.
Like we all have that to some degree.
It's just whether or not that's the driving force
in your life.
And if it's the driving force in your life,
what ends up happening is anything good
that comes to you, you believe it's not meant for you.
So you'll sabotage every time.
So even things like, I've seen people have women
in relationships like they meet a great guy.
And he's too good to be true.
So they're like, no, I'm gonna choose this guy over here
who ghosts me every third date.
And you know, like, and so that that worthiness block
shows up in a way financially where we don't deserve wealth.
Wealth is meant for them.
It's meant for other.
It's meant for someone else.
And so we never fully embrace what we're capable of.
This next block, I saw, you know,
different types of people will seek out financial advice.
But the intelligence in skill block,
I think it's kind of dangerous around a financial planner
because especially an unscrupulous one
because these people think they're not intelligent
or don't have the right skills.
Yes.
And this block blocks your flow of wealth
because you always think somebody else
should be giving you advice.
Like you just don't trust yourself.
You don't have enough self-trust built.
And so we'll even see like in the personal development world,
I see these personal development junkies
where they take course after course after course
but they never implement anything or take action.
So they're just.
The people who just keep taking college courses.
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
Yes, absolutely.
And so at some point you have to understand
that your relationship to learning comes also from doing
not just from textbooks or classes or courses.
And so that block prevents us
because the thing you have to take action on,
it's not just knowing,
you know, the first time you go to buy an exchange-traded fund,
it's totally foreign.
You're like, I don't know how to do this.
What do I do?
So a lot of people won't bother
because I think I got to take a course
on how to buy an exchange-traded fund.
So then they go spend money on the course.
They would have been better off to lose 50 bucks
in their first exchange-traded fund
to learn the things they need to learn, right?
And get going on the learning
and the wealth building versus learning from someone else.
So it's a huge one.
And people who don't feel smart enough,
the other thing that might happen is they might also avoid
asking the right questions to their financial planner
because they don't want to feel stupid.
So then the financial planner who's good and kind
doesn't have all the information they need to properly advise
because you have felt uncomfortable looking foolish.
So that's a major block to wealth.
Yeah, it is.
It's a fine line in a lot of these
because I felt like a lot of my clients
were super smart people.
They could have easily done the stuff themselves,
but smart people surround themselves
with smart people, but it was funny.
They would, the really smart people,
I didn't feel this from,
and don't get me wrong,
people that have this block are also much more intelligent
than they think they are.
They always are, yeah.
So much more intelligent,
but people that trusted themselves
would just ask me all kind of probing questions
to get even smarter,
like they were on this whole different wavelength.
You actually are really good at this
because you will have people on your podcast
who have different opinions than you have,
but you're always asking questions
and staying in a posture of curiosity
and that is critical.
A lot of people feel from a place of ego
that I need to know the right answer.
And so they won't even listen
or have conversations with people who differ from them,
which blocks them from learning,
which potentially blocks them from opportunities
for wealth building.
See, that's not what's going on with me at all.
No.
I'm open to being wrong.
Yeah.
I have on these people to prove to everybody.
It's almost like the psychologist thing.
I bring them on the show,
prove they're an idiot and I'm not.
And that's, that's it.
I feel like I'm getting,
I'm apparently getting nothing out of your work here.
Oh my gosh, my cheeks.
It is so much easier to, I don't know,
it is so much easier though to ask, how am I wrong?
Then just continue to think how am I right?
All right, next up, the hard work block.
Man, this is me.
That's you, yeah, long hours.
Just feel like you're never given enough.
You just keep kind of grinding it out.
Yeah, if I just work harder, if I just work harder.
Yeah.
And for a lot of people overcoming this block
really does involve investing
so that you can really understand compounding money
because you're running out of time, right?
When you put in 50 hours a day,
you don't have that much time.
There's just an impossibility, right?
And so a lot of people are trying to squeeze
so much in working harder
and they're missing out on the juice of life.
And so I know that you, I know you call yourself,
you've got this block, but it's minor
in you compared to most people
because you also understand how wealth works.
So you're doing a lot of the things
that are compounding on the side,
but a lot of people aren't.
And so they get trapped, right?
In this.
Totally do.
Yeah, it's really, really tough.
It makes me so frustrated.
I mean, time leverage and financial leverage
change that, changes that block completely.
It's like we're gonna talk to a gentleman
about this on Wednesday
about how money's not the only currency.
So I think you and Chad together
is just a great week for us.
Yeah, drop this line to Chad, say privacy
is one of the most important currencies
and see what he has to say.
Oh, I think he'd like that.
Yeah, anyway.
The stress block.
This one, I tell you, lots of people
think finances are stressful.
This is a block that's learned also.
And one of the most interesting things
about the stress block is you really believe
that the stress is outside yourself.
So money is the cause of your stress.
But what we know to be true,
and this is really ugly,
so brace yourself because nobody likes hearing this,
is that money isn't stressful.
You are stressed.
All of the emotions we have already live inside us.
So happiness is inside you,
joys inside you, frustrations inside you,
anger's inside you.
They all live inside you all the time.
And when something happens,
you almost unconsciously choose what to call forth.
And we know this is true because if external circumstances
were entirely responsible for how we feel,
no kids would ever cry at Disneyland.
Right?
You're in the heaviest place on earth.
I'm sorry, you're not allowed to cry here.
So we know that it's not about anything external.
There's something going on inside.
So when we blame money,
and we decide that money is stressful,
it blocks the flow of wealth to our lives
because what we're doing is we're trying to avoid that stress.
So we avoid money,
which means we're avoiding wealth.
It's a very dangerous cycle to be in.
So we have to heal that block.
We have to obviously shift how we're handling money
and how we view money
because it's just as easy to think money is stressful
as it is to think money is fun and money is a game.
And money can be enjoyable.
The procrastination block,
I'm going to move over
because I think by the name we kind of get
where that one's going.
But the money guilt block,
I want to focus on as the last one here
because so many of us,
we talked about judging each other.
We have so much guilt around money
and like past things, past places we messed up,
like buying your paint by numbers kit.
You could keep that guilt forever.
Yes.
And the interesting thing about guilt
is guilt is such a selfish emotion,
which again, is something nobody likes to hear.
But guilt makes somebody else's problem about me.
Even if I come and add everything from the posture of,
I don't want to have money
because I feel like it's unfair
because there's so many people hurting in the world.
I'm taking their pain and I'm making it about me.
And instead, if I'm truly wanting to help them,
I have to be in a place of abundance
so that I can provide meaningful help for people
and not just make it about me not reaching my full potential
because somebody else can't reach theirs.
Like put on your own mask first.
Yes, exactly.
I have to ask you the big question now.
I use to say the big question for the end.
Yes.
What's a Twat Waffle?
Listen, I am amazed that the publisher
let me get Twat Waffle past the three editors.
I do have that word in there.
It's just a name we gave somebody
who was really difficult at one point in time.
It's a story in the book.
And so we've just forever referred to her as the Twat Waffle.
And she's quite legendary.
And she's even in the Get the Hell out of Death book.
So she lives on forever.
But we all have a Twat Waffle in our lives.
And we can't let the Twat Waffles among us
impede our ability to get where we want to go financially.
Just a fabulous name for somebody.
Isn't it great?
I am stealing that from you.
I'm so stealing that because I know a few Twat Waffles.
But I do like this idea about the ability
to change the energy is inside you.
I mean, in you point to start at the beginning
of this project that you're not a licensed therapist.
And some people have some really bad issues
where they need a therapist.
But for the rest of us, you can change your state.
You can change your energy.
Yeah.
And I think we often think that we're,
we don't realize we're thermostats.
So one of your great gifts is when you walk in a room,
you bring just so much vivaciousness and fun and humor
and brilliance.
And this sounds like I'm constantly giving you compliments.
And I don't want people to think I'd like you.
That's weird.
We're just BFFs here now.
But it's like, I owe you 20 bucks.
But it's true.
Carrie and I work together.
And whenever Carrie has to deal with Joe,
she's like, we're going to have Joe on our podcast.
You're going to go on Joe's podcast that everybody's happy
because we know that you are a predictably positive person
who has their poop in a group,
even though you are hard on yourself
and you have high expectations of yourself,
you are just, that's just who you are.
That's the energy.
You're like, that's the thermostat setting
that you live life at.
And you don't take anything too seriously,
which is a really beautiful posture to live in.
And you stay curious and you love your partner
and you do the best you can every day and all of that.
There are other people who suck the energy out of the room
every time you're around them.
And that's the thermostat setting.
They live their life at.
And oftentimes people are unconscious.
I think you are very conscious about how you show up
because you're very good at being aware of other humans.
So you notice in other people when their energy is off.
You're very good at reading people emotionally.
Some people aren't.
And they'll walk around almost like an energy vampire.
They suck the life out of the room where they,
they're just like a black hole.
They may be complained or maybe they're just that type of person
who just being around them, you just don't feel good.
And that's a thermostat setting that they have,
that they forget that they've got control over.
And so when we condition ourselves and we live away,
a certain way for long enough,
it does become part of our identity,
becomes part of who we are.
So now when people talk about Joe, they're like,
I love this guy.
You have raving fans because of who you are.
There's other people who are raving toilet waffles
because of how they show up.
And all toilet waffle needs to do is really take
a personal inventory of the results in her life
and the people she's surrounded with to kind of go,
well, I don't think this is working,
but it's not everybody else's fault.
It's toilet waffles fault.
My coach calls them clusters of misery.
And she said, beware these clusters of misery.
Like you can feel like misery all together.
But I love what your friend said about this,
toilet waffle, like what do you learn from this?
Like just thinking, what do I learn from this person?
So this happened, we were backstage in an event
with a major number one success strategist in the world
and we're trying to like get this event together.
And she was walking around backstage.
It was really weird.
What I know of her to be true is that she just had
a very wounded ego, like she'd been hurt before obviously
and she had a really high need for significance,
which means she was operating from a place
of needing to feel important or needing to feel whatever.
But she wasn't, she didn't actually feel that way.
She was sort of trying to demand it from other people.
This was a generational thing, but years ago I would hear
people say like, oh, you know, to their children,
you have to respect me, I'm your father.
Well, you can't demand respect from somebody,
you can't like force them to respect you,
but that was kind of the attitude she walked around with.
And she would light these little fires everywhere she went
and we'd all have to put them out.
She would create so much drama.
Like the police would get called.
Like it was just everywhere she went,
there was like this constant chaos in her life
and she kept saying, I don't know why everything's so dramatic
and we were all like, we know why.
This is so dramatic, we all know why.
If you think things in your life are dramatic,
it says you're causing it, but anyway.
And so my friend Jenny just turned to me
and she was like, hey, because she could see
I was just like, I was welling up.
I was like, these volunteers were leaving.
Like the whole day it was kind of falling apart
and I was just a volunteer too,
but it was like just, everything was just chaos.
And she just said, Erin, what is the lesson here?
And I was like, you a**, I don't want to think,
you know what I mean?
I don't want this to be a lesson right now.
I want her to fix her waist.
She's got to stop, twat waffling around.
But what it did for me is it first made me think,
okay, I never want to be like this.
So how do I show up?
Like, I can't let her affect me.
And then also like the other pieces were later on,
how can I use this for my own growth?
And it was just such a powerful transformation
that I had to go through,
which ended up being,
Twat Waffle was one of the greatest gifts of my life,
but only because I was able to see her
as a mirror for what was going on for me.
We should just call this episode Twat Waffle.
I don't know.
You know, it's funny because people like,
I thought this was gonna be about budgets
and I thought this was going to be about meetings
and it totally is.
All of this, without going through these blocks
and understanding yourself,
you can't understand the people around you.
You can't help each other.
I thought it was gonna be a powerful idea
because I know you, but when I read it
and then I realized that it was all about me on the inside,
90% of this is about me on the inside
to show up at that naked meeting
to be able to be naked, you know,
to be able to get there.
It's like, we forget as fully functioning adults,
how much of our lives are driven
by things that happen to us in our childhood.
We'd like to think we grew up and we learned to adult,
but we're really just deep down
a bunch of wounded kids walking around.
Yeah, we totally are.
These money blocks are so important to figure out.
The book is called Naked Money Meetings,
Any Money Fights With Your Partner Forever.
I think it would even be called
Any Money Fights With Yourself Forever as well.
And it's available tomorrow.
Yeah, so I'm so excited.
I don't know why I said that.
I was ran out of things to say there.
You are excited.
You are excited.
You said if people go to the website, though,
that you have the quiz right there,
people want to take that out of time?
Yeah, if you want to know right now,
like if you're like, wow, I think I actually have
one of these blocks and I need to know what to do.
You just go to nakedmoneymeatings.com
and you can just click and it'll spit out for you
and it'll tell you.
And then if you send the quiz to your partner,
it'll tell you what's going on in your relationship, too.
So it's a really handy tool if you're ever feeling like,
gosh, I just feel stuck in this one area.
What's going on?
You can identify the block that's run in your life right now.
Aaron, thanks for hanging out with us.
Thank you for having me.
Hey, this is Jen Pilcher, Navy spouse of 23 years.
And when I'm not helping military spouses connect
in our digital community, I'm stacking Benjamin's.
Big thanks to Aaron for joining us.
Oh, gee, I love it every time she's on
and she makes a great point.
We have to, we have to have these difficult conversations
with our partner.
And sometimes we're going to disagree and that's okay.
I think if we started from the perspective
of it's not a difficult conversation,
it's just a conversation.
It becomes a lot easier.
I mean, having a discussion about money,
having a discussion about the things that are important to you,
the goals that you want to achieve,
the areas that you've screwed up,
the thing that you just did yesterday that screwed up,
I mean, being open and honest is quite often
the easiest way to just kind of meander through life
and it's true with money, too.
And expect that you probably will have a difference of opinion.
I like that as well.
100% absolutely.
Hey, let's throw out the Aven Lifeline
and tackle some of the life's most important questions.
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Today, we are going to throw out the Aven Lifeline
to Stackery Zachary.
Hey, Zachary.
I think it's Stackery Zachary.
My bad.
Let me do that again.
Stackery Zachary.
Hi, Joe.
Hi, OG.
Hi, not my mom's neighbor, Doug.
So advertisements, huh?
They're one of the easiest ways for corporations
to get your hard-earned money.
But you know, some advertisements just suck.
So my question is, what are some of the worst advertisements
you have ever seen?
Thanks for taking my call.
See you later.
Bye.
Right.
Thank you, Stackery Zachary.
This definitely requires OG's expertise.
Yes.
I think it does.
OG watches a lot of television, especially in the fall.
Can you think of any commercials?
Why don't you guys go first on this one?
I've got a 10 to fast forward all the commercials.
You know the one I hate is everybody knows that sound.
Oh, that's Tivo.
Yes.
It's amazing how everybody knows that sound.
Tivo hasn't really been around as a presence in like 10 years.
But everybody knows we still do it in my house
when you hit a commercial.
We just say those noises, boom, boom, boom.
Yep.
Come on, man.
You're driving fast forward.
Apparently Tivo's, this is where so far off.
But Tivo was one of the first devices that let you easily
fast forward through commercials.
So as long as we're talking about dumb commercials,
I suppose it's relevant.
They apparently have some licensing with some of the larger
set-top box makers.
Like there are people, my brother, in the Boston area,
his Xfinity box actually is a Tivo operating system.
He uses Tivo tech?
Yeah.
And there are some around.
I don't know why it's regional like that,
but there are some around.
Anyway, the one that still annoys me
are that I think it's Capital One, the guy that wears a suit
that's way too small and he's like the easiest decision
and the history of decision or the history of easy.
And I am not going to a bank to have a cup of coffee.
Why they're making these, why they're making these lounges
in banks is just the stupidest idea to me.
I don't know who inside the corporate headquarters
got that approved, but that's not anything
that's going to attract my financial decision-making.
I think that so many people are intimidated
by the inside of a bank and by making it less intimidating.
I think it's actually a good thing.
I think that's a cool innovation.
I mean, don't get me wrong.
It shouldn't go, oh, they serve donuts.
I need to put my money there.
Like that's not a great decision,
but making it more inviting.
I think it's, is, is I think you're wrong?
I think OG wants to go to an inside of a bank, Joe.
Nobody wants to go their period, inviting or otherwise.
People just want to stay home.
But look at the advertising, we have this nice lobby.
Nobody wants to even go to a lobby.
The reason why is because we've chased people out of the lobby.
Like we're like, I don't want to go.
I don't want to go to that.
No, that is not why.
It's just inconvenient to have to go to a different place
when I can do it all online.
You get free dumb dumb suckers at the bank still.
There's a type of ad that I don't like,
but I'm not alone.
You guys both remember SNL has even made fun
of this type of commercial with, well,
let's listen in to one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, man, I think there might be one more gift for your mom
right there.
It hasn't been a normal year.
So this Christmas, get her something extraordinary.
During the Lexus, December to remember sales event.
Nathan, you didn't.
With flexible financing at 0% APR,
there's never been a better time to buy or lease a new Lexus.
Merry Christmas, baby.
Are you kidding me, Nathan?
Did you seriously buy a car without asking me?
Well, because for Christmas, this is a major purchase.
Right, but it was a December to remember.
It's a Lexus.
We don't have the money for this, Nathan.
We don't?
No, we don't.
Your father doesn't.
Your father hasn't worked since last March.
What?
Yeah, COVID has hit a lot of people hard,
and I'm no exception.
Nathan, you got fired in March 2019.
COVID has nothing to do with it.
Hey, pal, I guess your old man's busted.
It's beginning to look a lot like savings.
So get to your local Lexus dealer today.
How much did you spend on this ridiculous car, Nathan?
It was only $39.99 to its signing.
For grand, it's not that much, babe.
And how much is the monthly payment?
The what?
Did you think this entire car cost $4,000?
There's a monthly payment.
Yeah, but with the 0% APR, I think it's all good.
APR?
Do you mean APR?
I'm pretty sure it's APR.
I'm pretty sure it's APR.
And then if you remember, then the neighbor comes over
because he just borrowed money from the neighbor.
It said borrowed the $4,000 from his neighbor.
When he said, but it's Christmas,
I could, all I could hear was OG.
It just sounded like his voice.
But it's the Christmas thing and the stuff.
Oh, she hasn't been a financial planner in years.
COVID took a lot of people out.
Yeah, those are annoying.
I'm like, are you kidding me?
You bought a Lexus, and you didn't ask me?
Or there's even the GMC did his and her truck commercial,
I think last holiday.
Yeah, let's just get to.
She got a puppy.
He got a truck.
There's that one.
There's that one too.
I got you something.
Here's a little puppy.
I got you something.
Here's a big pickup truck.
Well, let's talk about some of the deceptive things
that companies use in advertising.
I went and looked up some of these
because I think just as a consumer,
you got to be able to look through the commercial
and go, okay, how are they selling me on this thing?
The first one they use they talk about here is priming.
This piece says, this technique involves exposing consumers
to a stimulus that influences their response
to a subsequent stimulus.
For example, shows a happy family
enjoying a product which can prime viewers
to associate the product with positive emotions.
This will be like, you know, the Disney commercials
or the, you know, we're all just a family.
And that's why we spend 16 bags of money
visiting the mouse or the cruise ships, right?
The cruise ships do that one.
Another really common one.
I'm sure everybody, I'm not telling anything you don't know,
but the reason they show fast food ads late at night
is not because they think you're gonna go out of the house
and go get the fast food right then,
but they know you're hungry then.
If it's 10, 11 o'clock, they know your stomach
starting to talk to you.
So you're gonna start to associate that image
with the feeling of hunger.
So that when you hunger again,
it just, that image just shows up in your head
the next day when it's time for lunch or whatever.
They know you're not leaving your house at 11.30
to go to McDonald's.
It's closed.
Is that why all they show is Taco Bell and Dorito
and it's on Chive TV, right?
Because they know you gotta be high
to be watching that stuff.
Decoy effect.
This technique involves presenting consumers with three options,
one which is clearly inferior to the other two.
The inferior option is included to make the other ones
just see more attractive.
That's the, yeah, the sticky tape,
what's that called flexile?
It's like, if you use regular duct tape
and it's like a piece of scotch tape or something like that,
they're like, your boat won't be able to, you know,
you're screwed.
You're gonna sink in the ocean.
You ever try to scotch tape your boat
but use flexile and you can go fishing today.
The illusion of scarcity, of course,
create a sense of urgency.
I saw one of these just literally yesterday
and one of my online feeds going, the next nine people.
And then you think about that for just a second,
you're like, okay, they said they must have bought
for like a week.
And it says the next nine people get this, right.
Loss of version.
This is, I'm sure it's a think about all state
involves emphasizing what consumer stand to lose.
Mayhem, you know, lost a virgin.
No, it's a whole, whole different thing for you.
It's just where Doug's crying in the corner later.
Bad wagon effect.
Think about those Dr. Pepper commercials
where the whole town is Dr. Pepper,
involves suggesting everybody else is using it.
That's a good one.
Another one here, emotional appeal, jewelry commercials.
Think about these involves appealing to their emotions,
happiness, sadness, fear and celebrity endorsements.
Those are just a few of the techniques.
Of course, you guys, if people are new stackers,
if you're new to the show, you don't know
that there's one type of commercial.
We think it's the best commercial of all time.
And of course, it's a, well, it's this defunct campaign.
But life presents real men of genius.
Real men of genius.
Today, we salute you, Mr. Silent Killer gas passer.
Mr. Silent Killer gas passer.
Last night, you had the enchilada combo platter.
This morning, the three cheese omelet with broccoli.
This afternoon, you're a ticking time bomb.
Because of you, a simple elevator ride is suddenly
a 42-floor plummet into the very bowels of hell.
Who did it?
Who cares?
Sweet mercy.
Please just someone light a match.
So crack open a nice cold Bud Light O ninja of the nasty.
And while you're at it, crack open a window.
Mr. Silent Killer gas passer.
Those couldn't be better.
Could not be better.
I agree.
Back in the day.
Thanks, Zachary, for the question.
If you've got a question, maybe about your money.
And not just about commercials.
Send those to us at stackabedjamens.com slash voice mail.
And if you're brave enough, like Zachary was,
to call in with a question, well, then you know what?
We send you a Haven Lifeline greatest money show on Earth
T-shirt as a thank you for stepping up to the plate
and helping the show.
Well, before we say goodbye for this episode,
just our community calendar this week.
If you want to find us on all the different channels,
you may be watching us on YouTube today.
If not, subscribe to the YouTube channel.
If you want to hang out with us, generally,
and I will be there this week on Thursday,
we do an Instagram Live every Thursday at 5 p.m.
Eastern as long as I am in town.
This Thursday, we have Lisa Fisher,
who's the chief lending officer at a new Fintech company
called Mission Lane.
We used to do a Friday Fintech segment,
but we've moved those to our Instagram channel
where we learn about some of the cool new innovations
that hit your phone and your wallet.
Mission Lane is a pretty interesting company.
Lisa was somebody she's going to tell the story on Thursday, OG.
But she found out that her husband at the time was a huge gambler
and had basically wrecked the family's credit completely.
And so Mission Lane helps people out with credit issues
that might have as much to do with the people around them.
It has to do with them.
We're going to talk to Lisa on Thursday on Instagram.
What I love about our Instagram Live is you get to ask questions as well.
So join us Thursday on the StackingBegem's Instagram channel.
If you want to find out all the places where you can hang out with us
at StackingBegem.com slash welcome,
it is our welcome guide.
And that's what's going on this week.
But if you're not here to hang out with us on Instagram,
you're not here for the fantastic Bud Light commercials.
You're here because you need to make better decisions
with your money as we roll into fall.
Head to StackingBegem's.com slash OG
because that's linked to OG's calendar.
He and his team are taking clients still for a little bit longer this fall.
StackingBegem's.com slash OG.
I should use some of that commercial manipulation there.
OG and just go the next nine people.
That's right.
Price has increased at midnight.
I should do some of them.
Pretty shipping.
Wait, what?
StackingBegem's.com slash.
Wait, there's more.
Are you saying today?
StackingBegem's.com slash OG.
All right, coming up on Wednesday, Chad Carson,
Coach Carson has a very philosophical way at looking at building your real estate
empire and he says that a lot of people create a full-time job
out of managing real estate.
If you want somebody who's buying some of the other currencies,
we're going to talk about other currencies like time on Wednesday show
with Coach Carson, so join us then.
But for now, this is where we wrap up the show, Doug.
What are our top three takeaways, man?
Well, Joe, first, take some advice from Aaron Sky Kelly
and address financial matters with your partner.
Head on.
Second, where what makes you feel good,
rather than wasting your harder and cash
trying to look supreme with pricey designer clothing.
See what I did there?
But the big lesson.
Squirrels cannot be trained.
No matter what that busker on the Vegas Strip told you.
Thanks to Aaron Sky Kelly for joining us today.
You'll find her new book, wherever books are sold.
We'll also include links in our show notes
at stackingbenchements.com.
This show is the property of SB Podcasts LLC Copyright 2023
and is created by Joe Salcihi.
Our producer is Karen Refine.
This show is written by Lisa Curry,
who's also the host of the Long Story Long Podcast,
with help from me, Joe, and Doc G,
from the Earn an Invest Podcast.
Kevin Bailey helps us take a deeper dive
into all the topics covered on each episode
in our newsletter called The 201.
You'll find the 411 on all things money at the 201.
Just visit stackingbenchements.com slash 201.
Wonder how beautiful we all are?
Of course you'll never know.
If you don't check out our YouTube version of this show,
engineered by Tina Eikenberg.
Then you'll see, once and for all,
that I'm the best thing going for this podcast.
Once we bottle up all this goodness,
we ship it to our engineer,
the amazing Steve Stewart.
Steve helps the rest of our team sound
nearly as good as I do right now.
Want a chat with friends about the show later?
Mom's friend Gertrude and Kate Youngkin
are our social media coordinators,
and Gertrude is the room mother
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Say hello when you see us posting online.
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Not only should you not take advice from these nerds,
don't take advice from people you don't know.
This show is for entertainment purposes only.
Before making any financial decisions,
speak with a real financial advisor.
I'm Joe's mom's neighbor Doug,
and we'll see you next time,
back here at the stacking Benjamin Show.
Thank you.
While I was galvancing out west,
I mean, we had lots of big stuff happen.
The Wagner guy getting shot down.
Oh, well, that's speculation.
So yeah, that would have never happened.
The Russians would have taken that guy down.
I think it's a hard W by the way.
Wagner Wagner.
Yes.
The Wall Street Journal had a nice article on this.
They reviewed a whole bunch of the video footage,
which I always find interesting.
You know, when there's some sort of calamity like that, right?
Not I'm just talking about this, but there's a helicopter
that crashed in Miami a couple of days ago,
sadly, you know, injuring a number of people.
And I saw that one.
I saw that one.
I saw that one.
I saw that one.
I saw that one.
I saw that one.
I saw that one.
I saw that one.
I saw that one.
I saw that one.
I saw that one.
He was killing one person.
But how does somebody have a video of that?
You know what I mean?
Like, it's very odd.
You know, and we should bring Paula into this
because she had the crane video.
She did.
And it's like, I don't necessarily think the first thing
that I think of is I should record this.
You know, that looks funny.
I'm going to record this.
But there's a...
Oh my god.
I'm going viral.
That dude's dying.
Well, it's not even that.
It's just more like the timing is very suspicious.
It's like, how do they have footage of that plane exploding?
Yeah, that is weird.
Because nobody, you know, I mean,
I've plane fly over my house all the time.
I don't think, well, I probably should video this one
just in case something bad happens.
I've been doing this for 12 and a half years
and finally, that one.
No, the plane thing is highly suspicious.
I don't, well, I have to talk to Paula
about what precipitated her picking up her phone.
Was the crane like starting to teeter
or their big noises happening?
I said she saw the smoke in the structure that caused her.
Yeah.
Yeah, she, you might not have been there for that session,
but she said that she saw the smoke
and was just going to video a little bit
and put it on her Instagram channel.
So she saw the smoke.
I actually was there for that.
Thanks for not remembering that.
And it happened to go all this big stuff going on the world.
I got something much bigger that I noticed
while I was on vacation today that annoys the hell out of me.
I'm a Florida skin.
This is, this is horrible OG.
Have you noticed that retail people now,
when you walk into a store, say welcome in,
they don't say welcome anymore.
They say welcome in, welcome in.
No.
Hey, I don't go to stores and B,
I have never heard that in my life.
It is the weirdest crap.
Once you hear it, by the way, you won't unhear it.
Kind of sort of.
I had to go shopping with Cheryl in Dallas
before we were right, exactly.
Was it a resale shop?
It was, it was, that's what I thought, right?
Where the hell are we?
No, I walked into Banana Republic
and they go welcome in.
And then we go to OG, what's that store that Mrs. OG likes
with the shorts and the...
Victoria's Seagulls.
That's what you like.
That's your favorite store.
That's funny.
What's the stuff?
Valori.
Viori.
Viori.
Yeah.
We walked into Viori.
That's leisure.
Woman looks at me right after I just went to Banana Republic
and the woman says it.
Woman looks at me and goes welcome in.
What the hell?
Let me go down to another store, welcome in.
We don't need the word in.
Like, why do we have the word in?
Do they say welcome out on your way out?
No.
Or goodbye out.
I don't know.
I'll see you yourself out.
That's gonna offend me, which is offends you apparently.
Oh, this is big stuff.
I mean, I know there's other things going on,
but I'd never heard that before.
And then...
Speaking of big stuff.
When we're in leave, do you have an Amazon fire stick
that you left at my house?
Well, thank you.
No, what do I...
It sounds painful leaving that at your head is house.
Oh, you left headphones that I saw.
I did leave headphones, though.
Yeah.
I just figured that was yours too, but...
No.
I'll spend the other guy that was staying in my house.
Forget it.
Spreading.
I'm like the Johnny Apple seat of Amazon fire sticks.
Very easy to forget.
Welcome in.
Welcome in.
You're gonna hear it all the time now.
And you're gonna go, when did this start?
I really talked to people generally,
so I doubt that I would hear it.
Nor do I go places.
He's there.
Doug, 10 years from now,
a geez could be on the show going,
I didn't hear crap.
I didn't hear that.
That was nothing.
Amazon delivery guy.
I saw a funny thing on Reddit the other day.
Somebody had to order a new set of AirPods.
And you know how when you...
Some things that you order,
they asked for delivery instructions
when you have the order.
Whatever.
Here's the gate code, whatever it is.
He thought that he put the delivery instructions,
but instead it was the engraving.
Nice flex.
I don't know, butler's name.
Not bad at all.
That's what it said.
It's a gate code on there.
Geez.
I mean, if somebody was delivered to your house,
you gotta say like,
just trust me, you're still on the right path for a mile.
You know?
Logging road number for me.
You won't know where you are,
but just trust me, keep driving for a mile
and then you'll be with them.
Follow the breadcrumbs.
Anyways, the engraving said, backdoor please.
Oh no.
Or backdoor if possible.
That's what he put on the engraving instead of the...
He put that instruction on the iPods instead of...
We thought it was the delivery instructions.
Nice.
That might not go the way he hoped it would have been.