101. your hot girl summer glow up guide PART 2: consistency

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ Hello, hello, happy Wednesday. Welcome back to the Wellness Cafe Podcast. You're go to Hawkerwalk Podcast. I'm your host, Trin Tondelier. If no one has told you today, I'm proud of you. I love you, you are capable, you are worthy, you are smart, and you are loved. Welcome back to week two of the Hawkerall Summer Glow Up Series. If you missed last week, I would definitely go back and listen to it after this episode because the Hawkerall Summer Glow Up Series is dedicated to kickstarting your summer and getting all of us ready with like, you know, a little extra pep in our step for the summer, a little more confidence, a little more positive than usual. Skin is clear. You know the mother freaking vibes, TWC, okay? And we're all doing this together because everything is easier when you have your friends doing it along with you. So you know what? If you're joining me, welcome. Let's do this week two. Any who, last week we focused on health and really surrounding your body and making sure that you have a healthy, strong body because, you know, we only have one and need to take care of it. This week, however, is focused on the mind. For our overall mind body soul glow up, okay? The glow from within shit because it really is true that you're only as strong as your mindset. But the good mother freaking news is like anything you can build your mindset to be stronger. So today I'm going to tell you the cheat codes on how to hack the system and take charge of your mindset. And I promise you, these tips work because as we know by now, I am someone who used to struggle with it all. Okay, I struggled with my mental health being consistent, setting up healthy habits for myself, procrastination, negative self-talk. Like, you know, I could go on and on and on, but I think you get what I'm saying. Just everything and anything under the sun that you can think of, anything that you're currently struggling with, I've been there. And I know that it can also be easy to just succumb to it and think that, you know, maybe the lifestyle you dream of just isn't for you and you're just not built for it. But that isn't true. And today I'm going to share the tips that made me completely change my lifestyle because it is possible for you to live the lifestyle of your dreams. Okay, I'll tell you again, because there are so many people out there who seem to like to put others down and who want to see others fail. So in case you didn't hear me clear enough, you are capable of living the lifestyle that you dream of. It is possible to reach all your goals. I promise you. Okay, get this. I asked on the Wellness Cafe Instagram stories, what hurdles you're currently struggling with the most and what you needed help with for your Hawkerel summer glow up. The answers were all the same. We all struggle with the same issues. You are not alone. The amount of similar, like literally even exact same wording responses that I got was insane. We all struggle with the same issues. No one is perfect and you are not alone. But lucky for you, you showed up here today and you made a promise to yourself to come to the Wellness Cafe and work on yourself. And that is a step in the right direction because like if you're listening to this podcast, this podcast is literally titled the Wellness Cafe. However, you found the show however you stumbled upon this little family. I'm happy you did, but that tells me one thing and that's that you are on the right track. Okay, you're dedicated to showing up for yourself and you're willing to do the work. So don't forget that because if you're here today, if you're a part of TWC, you're already on the right track. So I want you to stop doubting yourself. I want you to stop being hard on yourself. If you're here, you only landed here because you're dedicated to doing what needs to be done to get to where you want to be, whether you're trying to start a business, whether you're trying to graduate, whether you're trying to be happier, healthier, whatever you're trying to do, you're on the right track just from being here. Okay. So let that sink in, take a little deep breath, stop being so hard on yourself. We all got this together. The most common responses that you need to help with is tips to being consistent and how to manage stress levels. So today the goal is for you to leave this podcast set up with motivation and hacks on how to accomplish both of those things. First, some weekly updates. So what's been going on in my life? I'll fill you in first. Honestly, we got so much sunshine in van this weekend. I just tried to spend as much of it as much of my time outdoors as possible. Fern and I literally spent like all a Friday just biking around. We went all through the seawall. We went down to English Bay. The vibes in van are so happy when it's sunny out. It's just so funny. Like people are literally just smiling. Like the biggest smiles I've ever seen and people will literally just be cheering. Like Brody and I were on a walk together and a guy was just biking going, whoa, and Brody and I burst out laughing. It's just so funny when we finally get sun here. So that was really great and I'm grateful for that. Next up, I haven't told anyone this. I haven't really talked about it and I've been a little quiet on Instagram stories lately, a little less frequent posting on TikTok and stuff like that because TWC. Are you ready? Merch is in the works. I said it. I said it. Merch is in the works. I don't have an estimated date. I don't know when it is going to be able to be in your hands, but I can promise you that it's coming. And I'm really sorry that it's taken so long, but my view on merch for the Wellness Cafe, anyone can just, you know, do a little easy design on Canva and print it on a cheap sweatshirt and just get it out as merch if the goal of merch is to make money. But I wanted to create merch for the Wellness Cafe that really embodies the whole vibe of this podcast and what we've all created together. And I really wanted to be behind the creative process for it. I really wanted it to just embody the Wellness Cafe. And I decided to go a route that really, honestly, it's not even going to be for me to make money. I put a lot of money into this process because that's also such a fun part of this job to be able to create something and see your vision come to life. And I really, really, really wanted to create something that I was proud of and that we can all love and use and wear together. And it has just been the most rewarding feeling, finally starting to see the vision come to life. I'm literally just picturing us all walking around with little, like, Wellness Cafe sweatsuits and I get chills. Okay, I'm so excited. That's all I'm going to say for now. I don't know when it's coming, but I promise you that it is coming and you will be the first to know. Okay, I am so excited, but I've been putting a lot of my effort into that. So honestly, I've been a little quiet on the socials because I am working day in, day out to really build something beautiful for us all. And I'm just so excited. What else other than that? Honestly, Brody and I spent an entire day this weekend doing, like, a huge, deep clean of our apartment. And it made me feel really good. We just donated a ton of clothes throughout a ton of things. I am someone who's very sentimental with things. Like, I keep, let me know if anyone else does this. I keep honestly every single birthday card I've ever received. I keep just like the tiniest little knickknacks from everywhere I go. Like, literally, I will keep napkins from... I just heard myself say that out loud. I literally have kept napkins from places I've gone that I really liked when I was traveling. So we had to do like a big sort out that was much needed. And I had to part ways with some things because I don't need to keep napkins from restaurants that I really enjoyed. But it was a pain in the butt and it wasn't my preferred way of spending the weekend. But honestly, it has helped me feel so much better. For anyone thinking right now, like, ooh, this sounds like something I need to do. I promise you, you won't regret it. It is so tedious. It sucks to set time aside for it, but we feel so much better now about our space. And that really helps productivity. It helps just like my overall happiness being in a place that isn't cluttered. And it's just nice and clean vibes. Ooh, and one last thing that I want to share. I don't know. I like to share this stuff with you because you really helped me build this and you helped me get here. And I wouldn't have these opportunities if it weren't for you. And I'm so excited. I have been working on a campaign with Lulu Lemon. And it is a dream come true. It is a pinched me moment anytime something like this happens. I don't know. And I'm just excited to share it with you because you're my best friend. And I just, I get so excited to tell you these things. But I think that's all for weekly updates. What I'm having, ladies and gentlemen, are weekly segments. As you know, I'm going full throttle. I'm, I'm very motivated right now. Okay. I want to show up as my highest, happiest, healthiest self. So let me tell you everything I did last week and what I've been doing. That's really been helping me so that you're able to gain some more inspo. Okay. I have been back on my early morning wake up grind. Okay. We all lose it in the winter. It is so, so, so hard to wake up early in the winter when it's dark out. I've been transitioning to getting back to waking up at six. Some days that looks like six, like anywhere between six and seven. And I often get asked how to wake up earlier. And honestly, all I can say is you just have to force yourself. When my alarm goes off, I just force myself to get out of bed and start going through my morning routine motions and just doing the things, you know, and like, to be honest, it's not easy. Some days it really gets me and I wake up, I get out of bed because if you don't immediately get out of bed, you will fall back asleep. Well, at least I do. So I think that is my biggest tip. But sometimes when I get out of bed and I've just had a really early morning wake up, sometimes I will literally feel dizzy and like not know where I am. But I know that if I just force my body to adjust to it, it will only get easier and easier. So I don't have that many tips. It is hard. And it's just something that takes a couple, like a couple weeks to get used to, but your body will adjust to it. And one day you will be able to do it easier. I've also been waking up and eating breakfast within the first hour of waking up. Which is something that I don't usually, like I've never done this in the past because I don't have a like really big appetite when I wake up. But I'm trying to do it to promote hormone health and gut health because if you know, you know, this was one of my New Year's resolutions. And I've actually been doing a lot of research about it. And this is one of the tips they had to balance out your blood sugar in the morning, especially if you're someone that deals with hormone imbalances. And I have been doing this. Obviously after like a week, I can't testify to if it's helping my hormones. But I will say it gives me so much energy. I feel like it has really helped me have more productive mornings. Obviously food is fuel. Food gives you energy. It's not rocket science, but it really does help. And I've really been liking the way that that has been making me feel and setting me out for productive days and mornings. What else? I have been on the workout grind. It feels so good. It's crazy how even after a week, we talked last week, I'm recording Tuesday. I always record real time and it's crazy how just a week of focusing on yourself and getting back into routine can just change your overall mood so much. That is another thing that some of you said on the poll was that you needed help getting back into routine after some time off, like vacation or being sick or busy with school. And even if you feel like you've totally lost all your healthy habits, if you don't have as much endurance built up in the gym anymore, like my first day back, I felt so weak with my weights, I couldn't do my usual weights when lifting weights. And at the end of the week, I already fell back to my usual self. So I promise you, if you feel like you've lost it, you haven't. And it just takes a couple of days to get back into routine and you'll feel back to normal. I promise you. So that has been really good. I've really been loving J bird working out in the infrared sauna. Like I am a sweaty disaster after, but then I walk home in the sunshine. I listen to the birds chirping and the post workout in Dorphan rush is what keeps me going. And you can probably tell, like you can tell when I am doing well in my voice, in my mood, like health is wealth. You just you glow differently when you're taking care of yourself. And we're all doing this together. Okay. Other than that, a couple of things I've been prioritizing to just really feel my best is making sure that I'm getting outside, making sure that I'm always eating home cooked meals throughout the week. That is also like my form of therapy. That is my way to relax, de-stress and enjoy my evening on Sunday night. Fern and I had a dinner, a cooking dinner party. And that was like the first summer dinner party of the season. So heads up, you have that to look forward to. I was also getting a couple of questions of how to find friends that want to do things like that and stay in and cook or do like a paint night instead of going out to the bar. And if that is something you're interested in, I would just ask your friends because I know it's hard and no one likes to be like the first person to say a new idea. But everyone likes to feel good. There's no one that wants to feel like shit. There's no one that wants to be hung over. Most of the time, I think in your twenties, you can just forget that there are so many other ways that you can spend quality time with your friends that is just as fun as going out that will make you feel a thousand times better than going out. And you know I love going out. I'm not opposed to it. I love drinking and going out with my friends and dancing. I am always the one ready to go hit the dance floor, but I also love to fill my time with friends with so many other wholesome activities. And if you're someone who wants to be doing this with your friends and you feel like you always only go out with your friends, just spark the conversation about doing new activities and going for a picnic or doing a dinner date instead of going to the bar. Like I said, it can feel intimidating to be the first one to like throw out that new idea or go against the group. But once they see how much fun it is, no one will think twice about it, you know. But the moral of the story is I've really been getting excited. Just like with the sunshine and the fresh air, I'm feeling super happy and inspired lately. I'm really excited for summertime. For Nanda and I have been just making this huge list of all the hobbies and all the new activities that we want to do this summer. And don't you worry, you know I always share a bucket list as we enter a new season. And we have a ton of new and fresh ideas for you that I will be sharing soon. Lastly, this week I was doing my grocery haul for the week after my workout. This was actually, oh, this was yesterday. My days have been feeling so long that they're all meshing into one. Okay, awesome. This was yesterday. I was doing my grocery haul for the week and I just stopped and bought myself flowers. It was the first time that I bought myself flowers in a while. And I forgot how much of a mood booster having flowers in your space can be. And I literally just bought the cheapest bouquet that there was. You don't have to buy a big expensive floral arrangement. I am talking, I have literally five flowers in the vase next to me by my bed. And it is just, it is just giving me so much happiness. Okay, buy yourself some flowers, treat yourself. Always remember that you don't have to wait for someone to buy you flowers to enjoy them. Okay, hot girls buy their own flowers. And yeah, that is my current vibe right now of what I'm having that is setting me up for success aside from everything I shared last week, but I didn't want to be repetitive. So I filled you in on the new stuff. But if there's anything that you think I need to know about or anything you need to put me on, slide in my DMs or comment on my posts because sometimes I don't see my DMs, but I love trying new things. This community isn't just for me to give you ideas. I love hearing new tips and tricks. So you're always welcome to tell me about some new things that you've been loving. Need a closet upgrade? Ardennes has everything you need this season from all the latest trends to your everyday basics, accessories, shoes and more. Not to mention Ardennes will have hot new sales all spring and summer long. Ardennes has been a staple in my closet for as long as I can remember. Like junior high high school, I loved shopping at Ardennes because they have great affordable options and I love providing you all the affordable places to shop at. Get the refresh you need head to Ardennes.com and use code trinity for 15% off your next order. Thank you Ardennes for sponsoring today's episode of the Wellness Cafe. You can shop Ardennes in the show notes. Okay, let's get into your mindset glow up for hot girl summer. First stop, we're going to talk about consistency. This was the most common response when I asked what your trigger points were and what you needed the most help with. So this seems to be such a pinpoint of struggle for everyone. And when it comes to consistency, I think it's always good to remember that you're aiming for progress and not perfection because news flash perfection doesn't exist. No matter how long you're working on yourself and working on a healthy lifestyle, there is never a perfect and if there was like who is even deciding what is perfect, you know, I think showing up for yourself every day and I think being dedicated to yourself is perfect and that like your best is enough. And I love the saying that you are what you consistently do, not what you do once in a while. It's really good to remember that slow and steady wins the race. So always remember to pick one or two things to focus on at a time. Last week's episode was jammed packed full of ideas and inspo for what I'm doing to refresh for hot girl summer. But remember that I started building these habits five years ago, half a decade. That is a really long time and it's easier for me now to get back into routine when I decide that I really want to and you will get to that point. But if you're still in the very beginning of building a healthy lifestyle for yourself, start small. If you added one extra thing, that is enough. If you showed up and listened to the podcast and didn't even try any of the new things I talked about, that is enough. If you're even listening to this podcast, like I said, like that is enough because it shows that you're aligned and shows that you're dedicated to bettering yourself. So don't be too hard on yourself and don't try to do too much at once. You really just want to aim to get the ball rolling and start showing up for yourself every day and be dedicated to doing one extra thing each day that will get you one step closer to the lifestyle that you see for yourself. If you never make your bed and after listening to last week's episode, you woke up and made the bed one day, that is progress. Okay, these things take time. It takes time to build a new routine. If you're revamping your entire lifestyle, it is not going to happen overnight. But make sure that you're giving yourself credit where credit is due because if you're looking at it like you didn't make the bed six days of the week instead of focusing on the one day that you did, well, that's better than the week before when you never made your bed. So always make sure that you're focusing on what you're doing for yourself. Okay. Instead of focusing on what you didn't do. For example, I'm going to use the scenario of let's say that you really need to be working out. It is something that you see for yourself. You want to get into the habit of working out yet you always seem to sit and scroll Tik or get sucked into a good old Netflix binge. A lot of the time I think it plays into a battle of instant gratification versus delayed gratification because obviously it is a heck of a lot easier to sit and scroll and get that instant gratification of relaxing and just unwinding and doing something that is easy and familiar. First is going to the gym and doing the hard thing in hopes of or just waiting for that delayed gratification later down the line. Keep in mind scrolling instead of working out is the one example I'll use because you and I have both been there. It is very common to get sucked into just going on your phone or watching TV instead of being productive. And once in a while, don't get it wrong once in a while. This is completely fine. Rest days and doing things that make you happy are good once in a while. But this scenario can apply to whatever the habit is in your routine that you're trying to kick and swap for something else. So in times when you're choosing to show up as your old self instead of working towards building your new habits and lifestyle, I've really been trying to put in a conscious effort of what I like literally every single little thing I do when I'm lacking motivation or consistency and need to amp up the discipline. And this is kind of the best piece of advice I can give you is in times where you're choosing to show up as your old self and do the familiar habit instead of working towards building your new habits and your dream lifestyle. Find yourself that you deserve to do the harder thing. You deserve to work towards your dream lifestyle. Seriously, next time you are like in that mental battle of when you're deciding if you're going to do your regular routine of laying on TikTok instead of going to the gym because most of the time it is a conversation that you have with yourself, especially when it's on your mind and it's something you're struggling with between your old and your new self. Remind yourself that you deserve to live your dream lifestyle. Your future self is depending on you and you should do it even if you don't feel like it because each time you make the hard decision and choose that delayed gratification over instant gratification, you're getting one step closer to living the lifestyle that you dream of and you're getting one step closer to the harder action becoming habitual. And I promise you, it will not always be a mental battle whether you scroll TikTok or work out. You will just automatically be the person who chooses to work out because you've built that habit and you've showed up when you don't feel like it, but consistency comes from in the beginning, you being focused and committed and disciplined. It does take discipline to get that consistency, but each time it gets easier and easier. Each time you do the harder thing and power through and show up for your future self, it gets easier until one day you look back and it isn't even a struggle anymore. It isn't even a mental battle. You have just built that routine of being the person that works out instead of having that battle of, should I lay on Netflix? Should I lay in scroll TikTok or am I going to start building my new lifestyle today? And then you're like, Oh, whatever one more day, like that won't even be a scenario you deal with anymore. If each time you encounter that mental battle, you push through and you do the hard thing because it is worth it. And the start is the hardest part. It only gets easier from there. I really think the catalyst at one point, you have to get tired of it and just decide that you are tired of like wishing for it and thinking about it without taking action. I seriously remember looking in the mirror one day and just being like, I am fucking tired of this. Why do I keep making these decisions that I know aren't supporting the lifestyle that I'm trying to create? And it's like you have to get so tired of your own bullshit. And then one day it will just switch in your brain and you are like, fuck it, I am doing the hard work because I know it will be worth it. For me personally, it was just like I had been dreaming of the lifestyle that I live today for so long, yet I was making excuses. I wasn't showing up. I wasn't being consistent. And just at some point, I just, I no longer wanted to feel like shit about myself and I no longer wanted to be let down by myself. And there was just like that final catalyst to finally change my behaviors and my routines and my mindset and start showing up. And maybe even hearing me say this will make that little light bulb go off in your head and hearing this, you'll be like, holy shit, I'm done. I am done. I'm going to put in the hard work. When it comes to consistency and asking how to be consistent, you just have to make the decision that you're going to show up for your future self and start doing the work. I think for me, really, I was just, I realized how much time had gone past of me thinking about a lifestyle that I wanted to live. And then it's like, I would get to the next milestone or the next birthday. And I was still struggling with the same shit, still doing the same shit and not putting in the hard work. And I just got to the point where it was like, why? Why am I not just following through with my promises to myself and making it happen? It's almost like you have to hit that rock bottom mentally before you finally decide that you're going to do it for yourself. So if you want to know the key to consistency, if you ask me, it is just deciding that you're going to do it, even if you don't feel like it. And that is part of the Hawke Girl Summer mindset glow up. Okay. Do it even if you don't feel like it. If you don't feel like working out, remind yourself, I am someone who works out. If you don't want to clean, tell yourself that you're a person with a clean house. So you need to do the actions. If you don't want to cook yourself a healthy, nutritious meal, remind yourself, I am someone who cooks for myself and I fuel my body with whole nutritious foods. Whatever your default thinking is when it comes to consistency, you need to change it and just like rewire that bitch like literally that bitch in your brain. No, that's rude. I take it back, but you know what I mean? It's like, it's almost like, I don't know when you're in that position of your old self and your new self and your battling between the two, whether you do the hard work or not. It's literally like you have your old self talking to you against like the new version of yourself and you need to rewire it. So back to the Netflix example, if you're someone who scrolls TikTok or watches Netflix instead of working out and let's say the mental battle that I'm talking about, that conversation that you have with yourself, if your excuse is always, I'll do it tomorrow. Next time you head there and next time your mind goes there, just say stop, say I'm doing it today. It's funny like you almost have to fight your brain and your mindset to be stronger. You have to fight against it and tell it to stop talking. Next time your brain tries to tell you that you can start tomorrow when you'll do it next time or next week or next Monday or next year, just literally say shut up. I don't know. I'm trying to think about like how I push through what I don't want to. And I honestly caught myself having like a mental conversation with myself. And I was like, I need to share this because I was deciding if I wanted to go to the gym or not. And I was like, Oh, you deserve a rest day because that you worked really hard. And then I was like, no, you're going to the gym because you want to feel good. It's like you just have to rewire your brain and shut out those negative parts that are holding you back from being consistent and showing up as who you want to be. It also helps like it is psychologically scientifically proven that it helps when you reward yourself because a reward is part of the habit cycle. So personally for me, that is what helps me get in the habit of working out because my reward is the endorphins and feeling good and an energy boost. That is my reward that time after time again encourages me to make the decision to work out instead of scrolling on my phone because you feel better. But like I said, consistent behavior doesn't happen overnight. And like if it, if it was easy, anyone would do it and anyone could do it. That's why there are so many people who all struggled together because it isn't easy, but it's worth it. And I was looking back at quotes that really stuck with me and one that really helped me. I remember in the beginning was don't you want to see what happens if you don't give up. And now if I could rewind back to Trin who hadn't built any of these habits or lifestyle and hope that actually just gave me chills and show her the lifestyle that I live today. Like if I had a picture of this and I could go back in time and be like, this is what happens if you don't give up. I want that feeling for you and I want that feeling for everyone. And what happened to me from not giving up exceeded like my wildest wildest dreams. So I'm guessing it would probably be pretty fucking cool for you too if you don't give up, but I'm just guessing. Anyway, that's all I'm going to say about consistency because it's not a topic that needs like information overload. You just need it to click that once. So I want you to sit down and realize and just become aware of that default thought that you get when you decide to do your old habit one more time and figure out what the excuse is that you tell yourself to get out of that healthy habit. And I want you to start rewiring that excuse and telling it to stop and telling it to shut up and telling it that you deserve to work towards your dream lifestyle. Next time you're in that struggle of consistency and the struggle of showing up for your new self. Okay. And I know that I said I was going to talk about stress as well, but I think that I really, really, really just want to hit home with what I talked about in consistency because so many of you said that you struggle with consistency and it really can be one of the hardest things when creating a new lifestyle for yourself. So I want your homework for the week, your hot girl summer glow up the action of the week, just to be to evaluate and recognize what your thought pattern is when it comes to your struggle with consistency and telling it to shut up and rewiring it. Okay. That is your mindset. Hot girl summer glow up action of the week. I just don't want those important factors about consistency to be overlooked or forgotten. I really just want to focus on that this week, I think. And then I will talk about stress next week. So thank you for joining me for week two of our hot girl summer glow up guide. I honestly, I couldn't do this without you showing up for this guide and this series holds me accountable. And I am just, I'm already feeling so much better from just a week. So all of our energy, all of our motivation altogether, I can't wait to see how we feel at the end of the month. And I can't wait to come back next week with more tips and tricks. Anyway, I love you. Have a great week. I will see you next time.