102. how to stop comparing & start living, hot girl summer hacks to be a high vibrational human

Hello, happy Wednesday. Welcome back to the Wellness Cafe podcast, you're go to Hawkerwalk podcast. I'm your host, Trin Tondelier. And welcome to week three of the Hawkerall Summer Glow Up series. If you're just tuning in and miss the first two parts, you definitely don't need to listen in order. But I would go back and listen after this episode because they are packed of what I think is really valuable lessons and inspiration. Part one was focused on how to prioritize your health and ways that I'll be doing that so I can step into Hawkerall Summer feeling my best. And then part two was a short, but I think simple and effective message on how to be consistent while implementing new habits into your routine and showing up for yourself. Because consistency is something we all struggle with. Consistency is one of the hardest parts when developing a new lifestyle and routine for yourself. So I gave my best tips for that in week two. Today we are talking about mindset tips for that mind body soul glow up and how to be a high vibrational bitch. Okay. Also, I'm sorry that I say okay so much after my sentences. I think, I think I just say it when I'm super enthusiastic and excited and like trying to get you on board the vibes and the vision. But I was reading my reviews and there was one that said, I love you, but you say okay too much. And that hurt my feelings, but I will try to work on it. I think, I don't know, like I said, I just say it when I'm really excited. But I also just want to take a second to thank you if you've written or taken the time to leave a positive review of the show. There are so many super sweet ones and it's even hard for me to put into words just how much it means to me. When I hear that TWC has helped you, it just fulfills me more than anything in the world. And it's super sweet of you to take time out of your day to leave a review because it does help and support the show so much. And I'm just, I'm very grateful if you've left a review. It really means a lot to me. But back to the mindset for Hawkerel Summer and being a high vibrational human because as you and I both know, it can be very easy in the summer to just get sucked into the comparison mindset, be it when you're at the beach with friends or comparing your life to what you see on social media, comparing how much you're doing compared to others, letting bad pictures get to you, letting negative mindsets weigh you down. Like all of those thoughts I can go on and on, but they can come very easily in the summertime. I think just as fun as summer is and we all get so excited for summer, I think it also comes with a lot of expectations and just a heightened sense of comparison. So I am going to give you my best mindset tips today on how to combat those feelings. Okay, hopefully we can cut them out, minimize them as much as we can so that you can be on your merry little way and have a confident girl summer. Okay, not a very, very I'm again with my okay's. I'm sorry, it's just a habit whenever, whenever I'm getting pumped up, I just say it to reinforce what I mean. But a confident girl summer, not a comparison girl summer, and just, you know, really live your best life. And also, if you can relate to any of those negative thoughts that I just mentioned, I want to say that that just means you're human. We all deal with it and we all experience those thoughts. And I know sometimes those thoughts can be isolating and make you feel alone and just that no one else feels this way. But I promise you, we are all experiencing those negative comparison, FOMO, body confidence, like all of those thoughts are human and they happen to everyone. So first off, I need to say that because it can feel isolating. And sometimes you can feel like the only person feeling those thoughts. But I promise you, no matter how glamorous someone makes their life appear on social media, they are having those thoughts too. And let me tell you, just from my own personal experience and thoughts I've had in the past, like, I used to get very, very negative in the summer. And I'm talking bad, like from body comparison to not even wanting to do anything because I didn't feel confident in summer clothes, to feeling like I wasn't doing enough and working too much and comparing my summer to friends who were vacationing. Like, for example, I grew up with a lot of friends who were just more well off than myself. And they would be going to their cabin or their lake house. And I would be working and just seeing them post in the water on their boat, just having all this fun, you know, that they're posting on social media. And I would literally just let it eat me up and almost ruin my summer just wishing for things I didn't have, or even just not letting myself have fun. Because I would just go, if I did count the confidence to go to something in a bikini in the first place, I would spend all that time just comparing myself and wishing that I looked a different way and not comfortable in my own skin. I just like ruminated in that and it would end up just consuming my whole entire time that I could have been spent having fun and enjoying the moment. And it's really sad to realize that how much time was wasted by comparing myself and not being happy. And that's not to say that those thoughts never come anymore. I don't know if it will ever get to a point that is perfect, but it is so nice and it's just reassuring to have the tools to change your mindset. So with that being said, I'm going to give you the tips for a confident girl summer and how to be happy with what you have and make the most of your summer. Because listen up, I have some top secret information for you that I personally wish I learned earlier. It is crazy when you realize how powerful your mindset is. And when you realize that you can have fun and live your best life right now, you don't need to change your body. You don't need to go on a trip. You don't need a lake house if you don't have one. You don't need to make more money. You can be happy with what you have. And I'm going to teach you my tips that helped me change my mindset in today's episode. Okay, weekly updates. Honestly, there isn't much that has been going on. And I'm okay with that. It is actually what I'm choosing. I've really been just taking those extra steps and those conscious steps to just get back into routine and prioritize the things that make me feel my best. Like I said, I'm doing this whole entire Hawkerel Summer Glow Up series because I was out of routine for a while. And that can also be fun once in a while. But I'm really just being a home body right now. And I love it. Okay. And yes, that comes with sometimes wishing that I was out doing things and like, it's especially hard in the summer because as soon as the sunshine is out, a fresh crisp, aperal spritz on a patio starts calling my name. I can hear it. But I have to remember that that isn't going to make me feel my best. Of course, once in a while, yes, but I'm really just prioritizing getting back into routine. I have been cooking a lot. I've been disciplined with all my healthy habits. Like even when I want to be lazy and skip them, I'm just I'm doing the damn thing. Okay, going through the motions because right now I am dedicated. Okay, determined, if you will, to just feel my best and have like a quick little mind body soul glow up. Let me know, though, if you would want a detailed morning routine episode of like what the full works looks like for me because that would take a boy too much of this episode. But I definitely can do an updated version if you would like one. I've been going so crazy and so dedicated and determined to feeling my absolute best that I have been going to workout classes that intimidate me. So we all experience gym anxiety. It is a thing. And I love going to host concepts in Vancouver. It has been my gym since I moved here almost two years ago now. And I go all the time yet there are certain classes with certain trainers that still pushed me outside of my comfort zone. And I feel scared going to. I've talked about this a lot before, but I am comfortable training lower body. I know the moves. I know how to properly do everything. But when it comes to upper body, okay, I, I can barely do a pushup because I never push myself outside of my comfort zone. Well, I do sometimes. Okay, and I've been getting better. I talked too much. Sometimes I forget that we aren't actually face timing and you're probably like get to the point. The point here is that I pushed myself to go to an upper body strict upper body weights class. And this makes me feel very anxious for a couple reasons because I don't train upper body a lot. So a lot of the times I feel like I don't know what I'm doing or how to properly do the exercise or I'm embarrassed if I can't do a lot of weights, you know, but I made myself go to an upper body workout class. And guess what? It wasn't that bad. If I needed help with an exercise, I just fricking asked the trainer why, why can I get in your head that it's like embarrassing to try something new and embarrassing to learn new things. For some reason, I build it up in my head and think it is so embarrassing to learn how to work out my upper body when like that is what a workout class is for. I don't know why gym anxiety and workout intimidation can be so strong. But once you rip the bandaid off, you realize like, what was I worried about? This wasn't that bad. And I just want to share because that is something I did last week to push myself outside of my comfort zone. So let this be a reminder to push yourself outside of your comfort zone and do something that scares you because I guarantee it is a lot scarier in your head than it actually is. Hmm. And I do have to completely, totally random tips that I feel I need to tell you that changed my life recently. Okay. So you know that I love cooking salmon in the air fryer. We all we know my love for my air fryer by now. If you don't have an air fryer, you need one, it will change your life. I'm not one to say that you need to buy products and material things. But seriously, if you are someone who is trying to cook from home, more and cook healthy home cooked meals for yourself, an air fryer will change your life. I will never stop ranting about how easier it makes cooking at home. Like I am way too lazy to wait for the oven to heat up the air fryer. Boom. You plug it in, click a button. It is ready to rock ready to rumble. If I didn't have an air fryer and I was waiting for my oven to heat up, I would probably be cooking significantly less home cooked meals and dinners than I do. I never want to tell you that you need to buy something, but also there are certain things that just they save your time and they allow you to be efficient and elevate your lifestyle. And when it comes to those certain things, I think especially when it comes to saving time because you're a busy girl. We're working, we're cooking, we're cleaning, we're trying to work out, trying to balance school, work and social life. Like there is simply no time for it all. And an air fryer is like something that most importantly saves you time in your routine. That was a tangent, sorry, but I think it's been a little while since I talked about my air fryer love and sorry for talking your ear off. But we have to let the new members of TWC in on all the juicy secrets once in a while, but the two new things that I learned that changed my life. I was scrolling TikTok, laying in bed and all of a sudden this grandma comes on my for you page and she has a piece of salmon in front of her and she's like, I'm going to tell you a trick that will save your life. And it did. Her tip was that if you are cooking salmon and you usually try to cut the skin off, like myself, I do this because I don't like eating the skin, just personal preference. She showed that if you boil some water and pour it over the salmon skin, it will just peel off. I was always like putting my salmon on a cutting board ended up like wasting so much of the salmon cutting the skin off. I don't know who she is. I didn't save the video. I love you. You changed my life. My next random tip that I have to share with you that I recently learned, looking back, this really seems like general public knowledge and I don't know why I didn't think of it. So don't judge me if you have been doing this. For some reason, it is just something that never crossed my mind. I always cook salmon in the air fryer and just throw it in the pan. It is such a mess to clean up. I recently started putting parchment paper down or like tin foil down before I put whatever I'm cooking in the air fryer. For some reason, this never crossed my mind. It seems so obvious. It seems so simple. You put it down when you're cooking things in the oven. Why wouldn't you do it in an air fryer? But it just never crossed my mind and I saw someone cooking with tin foil in their air fryer on TikTok. I've been doing it. It has made the clean up process so much easier. So for anyone else who this never crossed their mind, I had to share. Right after that, I went to Fern's and cooked dinner and I even told her I was like, do you know that people put parchment paper in their air fryer and I shared it with her? So now I'm sharing it with my other besties. Okay. And lastly, one last thing for the weekly updates, then I will shut up and move along into the episode. The Sleepy Girl Mocktail that I shared in part one of the Hot Girl Summer Glow Up series. I tried it. It is amazing. Now I can actually testify. It is delicious. I have been doing tart cherry juice, apple cider vinegar, and I used a lime lacroix and then a little bit of magnesium powder. But even just the idea of a mocktail has been making cooking dinner so much fun because Brody and I aren't really people that drink on the weekdays and that is literally no shame to you if you have a drink with dinner at home where you like to have a cocktail at night. Like I think that is totally fine. Do whatever you want. That's just like we've never been those people. And then all of a sudden I don't know what it is as soon as the sunshine comes out. I like I said, I just hear an April Spritz calling my name. But I don't really like drinking on the weekdays because alcohol gives me anxiety. We like this is known. Alcohol isn't amazing for you. So the idea of a mocktail it like really gets that it satisfies the craving to make a cocktail because the sun is out. But instead you're actually making something that is good for you. And there's no alcohol. Like I said, the sleepy girl mocktail one has ingredients that is good for your gut health and the magnesium powder. I don't know. The idea of a cocktail is so fun. I mean, the idea of a mocktail is so fun. And especially if you're someone trying to get into cooking more home cooked meals for yourself, especially dinners, making it an event and experience and something fun makes it so much easier to home cook your meals. When it's something that you look forward to and just like adding that little element, a mocktail, a fun little drink, it just, you know, it motivates me to cook dinner more. I will shut up about the mocktails and the air fryers. What I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for the sunshine. I am grateful for you for my supporters. Always. I am grateful for Brody, my family, my, my bed. I don't know that that randomly popped into my head. I'm so grateful for my bed. She is so cozy. And lately, I've just been thinking when I do my night routine getting into bed at night that I'm so thankful for like my cozy little bed, you know, it is the little things. Okay, I am done. Let's get into our confident girl summer mindset crash course. I'm delivering you the cheat codes on how to be the happiest you possibly can be the summer and appreciate every moment and be happy with what you have and just not let that negativity from your own mind or others bring you down. The first step to being a high vibrational human is acknowledging that it takes practice. And I hate this. I don't want to tell you what you don't want to hear. I wish I could snap my fingers and give you this magic secret. But just like every habit that you learn, every new skill, I truly believe it to be and look at happiness like a skill that you need to work on every day and waking up and choosing to be happy. And I wake up and choose to work on my happiness. Just stay with me, stay with me because I get it when I used to struggle with negative thoughts and my mental health. And someone would just say, Oh, choose to be happy. Like, I thought that was such a load of shit. It truly, when I heard that saying it truly made me so frustrated and like I wanted to just scream when I heard that quote, I choose to be happy. Like I would think to myself, yeah, no shit, I would choose to be happy if I fucking could, but it's hard. Then slowly but surely, I realized that I could choose to be happy. And you can choose to be happy as well. But actually, let me rephrase that because I think that the saying should be instead of choosing to be happy, choose to work on your happiness. It does require work. I wish so badly. I wish I had a shortcut to just snap my fingers and give you that shortcut to happiness and confidence. But unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. But then again, I always remember that nothing worth having in life comes easy. First off, let's talk about how to be happy where you're at. It is very, very, very easy to fall into the destination seeking mindset and just falsely assume that your happiness is conditional or it depends on something like, if I get that promotion, I'll be happy. If I go on vacation, I'll be happy. Or that idea of just waiting all week for Friday and waiting all year for the summer and just essentially always spending your time waiting for happiness. And when you get to the next milestone, like that is not a good mindset loop to be in. And there is a way out and a way to be happy now instead of being in that just endless cycle. Like essentially, if your mindset is, I'll be happy when just fill in the blank. Like I said, I'll be happy when I'm skinnier. If you think I'll be happy when I have an internship, I'll be happy when I have more friends, I'll be happy when I have a new car. Whatever your automatic, I'll be happy when thought is becoming aware of it is the first step. And inevitably, like the truth is, if you're always waiting for another milestone and always seeking an external measure to be happy, that isn't a permanent solution. Because if you don't find a way to be happy with what you have and be happy, where you're at right now, what happens when you get the milestone? What happens when you get the car, get the promotion, get the internship, you just find a replacement for the saying, I'll be happy when. And especially, especially, especially, I cannot emphasize this enough in regards to anything material wise or money wise. If you're someone that tends to think a lot of, I'll be happy when I buy a new car or I'll be happy when I get a raise or buy a new clothes, or just buy whatever it is that you think a material possession will make you happy. A really beneficial mindset tip that helped me with this is removing material items from your happiness and just accepting and acknowledging that the two don't correlate. Let me specify long term happiness because I love shopping. I'm a material girly. I think you can shop all you want if you have the means. And it definitely is a form of self care. Don't get me wrong, but I think the issue is when you start thinking that your entire long term genuine happiness depends on buying something new. And the reality check is that genuine happiness is rarely found in material possessions. And trust me, there are many studies to back this up if you Google it. And whatever your fill in the blank answer is to I'll be happy when. That is not a permanent solution. Destination seeking and desiring more and wanting more is a very inherently human thought. So I'm not shaming you if you think like this and I used to be so bad for it. Like I said, I literally used to think that I would be happy in the summer or like the only way I'll be happy in the summer is if my body looked a certain way or if I had a lake host like my friends, but your happiness is not dependent on any of those external things. And learning that really helped me. So that's why I want to share this with you. And it's embarrassing like I am embarrassed. I'm ashamed to even admit to you that I used to be upset that I didn't have a lake house in the summer and let that ruin my time like that is fucking embarrassing saying that out loud. But that just shows how like a negative mindset in that comparison thought pattern can really affect your life because being on the other side of that and looking back now, I'm ashamed. But I need to tell you this to be honest. Ultimately, you need to learn and accept that your happiness is not going to be attained by possessions or success or more money and wealth. And it depends on you. But the good news is that it is possible to be happy with what you have. Okay, how to be happy with where you're at. In our group chat, I asked you all if you wanted to submit some of the negative thoughts that you may deal with in the summer because I really do want this podcast to help you as much as possible and use like real examples from our community and not just my own personal experiences, which by the way, the link to join our Hawkerwalk Hangout group chat is always linked in the show notes. But here's what some of the members of TWC had to say regarding kind of comparison and negative thoughts in the summertime. The first one is, I know something I have personally been worried about is the fact that I don't have a summer internship like some of my peers do. Second, I don't have many friends in my area. So I get FOMO when I see people out with their friends having fun. And side note, this is also something that I really struggle with since moving to a new city and at home in my hometown, I have a large friend group. So that is something I really struggle with in the summer, especially in van, of course, in the winter too. But in the summer, I just feel like it's worse because when I get outside and I'll go for my walk or Brody and I would do something, and it's actually something we both talk about and feel because obviously Brody is a part of the friend group at home. And whenever we see friends like playing volleyball on the beach or out for drinks or just like anytime we see a friend group that really sends those feelings to us of just like missing our friend group and wishing that we were doing that. So that is very common, very valid, not that the other ones aren't valid. I just personally also really relate to that one. And then the next one says I really struggle with comparing myself to others and remembering that just because I don't have those experiences doesn't mean I'm not having a good summer. So I really wanted to add these into the episode just to further emphasize and like share with you what more members of our community struggles with in the summer because everyone, it's so funny because everyone has like the exact same struggles yet they're very different. So I just wanted to add in more real examples and like real negative thoughts that people from TWC are experiencing in case you can relate to any you know you're not alone. All of these negative thoughts that we just heard really do deal with comparison, but the first reminder that I want to put out is that social media is a highlight reel. And I know we're all aware of this, but sometimes you just need to hear it again because it can just be so easy to start scrolling and start comparing and wishing that your life was like something that you saw on social media even though in the back of our minds we know it's a highlight reel, but it can be easy to forget in the moment. And even for myself, like I know that I post a lot when I'm outside of the house and doing fun things because no one wants me to post just sitting at my desk on my stories all day long, but that is what you don't see is me sitting at the computer, editing the podcast for hours, editing posts, doing emails on meetings, then when I sign off of work for the day, then yeah, I will post stories when I'm out. So it's always good to just remember and be reminded that most people are working a nine to five and not everyone is out just having fun at 24 seven, even if social media makes it feel like that or appear like that to you, even though it is the summertime we can really just appreciate the days off and the time off from work that we have, but never feel bad for working. If you're getting your money, if you're on that summer grind, there is nothing wrong with that you are not wasting your time. You are making the right decision. So shout out to all my girlies who are deciding to hustle their butts off this summer. Don't worry about the FOMO, go get your money and just make the most of the moments that you have not working. Okay, just seize every single moment that you can. But back to the social media comparison thoughts further than just a reminder that social media is a highlight button, the mute button also exists for a reason. I have so many people muted or unfollowed if their posts don't make me feel good or just get me in those negative mindsets, not even just people posting their highlight reel. But honestly, sometimes I have to mute people if they post too many body checks in bikinis and they are just, you know, if their body makes me feel bad about my own. Because if all you see on Instagram is Instagram models, it can be easy to forget that that isn't like what most normal people and the majority of society looks like, you know, social media is social media. And number two, who's to say they aren't editing their body checks that they keep posting. So yeah, I always unmute people if they are posting a ton of that content and it's making me feel bad about myself because it's important to unplug from that and realize that like, real life is real bodies. And I have stretch marks, I have body hair, I have natural boobs that are saggy compared to the Instagram models with like, perfect perky boob jobs that fit bikinis perfectly. Like, holy shit, can we talk about how hard it is to find a cute bikini that offers support for just naturally large boobs. It is so hard. Every single bikini nowadays is literally, I swear it's a napkin. It is simply tooth floss. And I wish I could get behind it. I'm not saying it's not cute. It just literally doesn't work. My boobs, like I said, the skims swim at Coachella. My boob literally fell out of it like three or four times that night. And I was trying to make it work, but it is hard. And side note about that for whoever this may help, but for whoever needs to hear this, like I said, I have bigger boobs. Okay, and that can sometimes make me feel bad in the summer because I feel like left out if I don't get to wear cute bikinis because they don't fit or I feel like they aren't like my boobs don't look good because there's no support in the bikini. Like, you know the drill if you if you can relate to this, you know all the things, but I have a lot of friends with smaller chests that can wear the cute little napkin non-supportive bikinis. And I used to get so jealous and sad in the summer, especially. Well, I still do sometimes, but working on my mindset has helped me a lot. The point of my story is that one of my friends with a smaller chest who wears the cute bikinis who I used to compare myself to and get so jealous of and wish that I could wear the same things that she was wearing. And it's funny because she often tells me how self-conscious she is and how much she wished that she had a bigger chest and is jealous of me. And then honestly, we go in like a back and forth battle being like, oh my goodness, I always think that I wish I had what you had. And it's so funny when you take a bird's eye view and realize that literally everyone is always comparing themselves. It's honestly crazy. You don't realize how much the people that you're sitting there wishing you looked like or wishing you had what they had, they are literally comparing themselves right back to you. Because if you're just stuck in that mindset of comparison and wishing you had something else instead of learning to be happy with what you have and being grateful for the life you've been given, the grass will always be greener. And I think that's the true takeaway and that's the real determining factor that shows happiness is an inside job. So how do you find happiness and end this inevitable cycle of comparison or FOMO or negative thoughts? First off, I want to start with a very, very important tip that has helped me. And I'm so sorry if you've heard this a thousand times before, but welcome to all the new members of TWC who are just finding us welcome. My number one tip is stopping negative self-talk in its tracks. Anytime. Okay, I want you to hear this. Tune in, pay attention if you zoned out, if you're driving, if you got distracted, tune in. Okay, I'll give you a second. Anytime that you find yourself negative self talking, which is human, it's normal, we all do it from time to time, I want you to remember this and I want you to think of me and this very moment. Next time you find yourself saying anything bad about yourself and out loud, say I take it back and replace it with something kind about yourself. And I know it sounds tedious, it may sound silly. When I first started doing it, I don't even really know when I first started doing it. I just, I almost just like decided one day that I was over being so rude to myself. And I almost just wanted to see what would happen if I switched the narrative and if I started being nice to myself. So slowly but surely every single time I would stand in the mirror and be like, I wish my boobs were perchier, I wish like, you know, whatever, whatever it is in the summer, I'm saying the summer because I feel like it's just so easy to be more rude to yourself in the summer. You know, the list can go on and on and on of shit that you can say rudely about yourself to yourself in the mirror. And once you get trapped in that cycle, it's like you just keep going and you find a new thing to pick apart and a new thing and a new thing. So just say, I take it back next time and stop yourself and stop that cycle. It sounds so tedious, but I promise it works because you have the power to rewire your mindset. It does take time. And I'm not saying that you're going to notice a difference from doing this once, but I dare you to just see what happens once you get in the habit of taking back your negative self talk and replacing it with something kind. What is the harm that it could do? It's definitely not going to do something bad to you. So just try it out and see what happens because it sounds so silly. I get it, but I promise you your brain and your mind has like, it's so powerful when you put effort into rewiring your thoughts. Secondly, I know that I addressed that there are so many studies that have been done and determined that happiness is rarely found in material possessions. So on the flip side to that, there is also so many studies that have been done that show that happiness comes from deep human connection and meaningful relationships. And if you're thinking, okay, thank you for sharing that, like, what good does that do me? The way I look at it and the way that I used this information to benefit my life is next time that you're laying in bed scrolling TikTok or laying in bed on Instagram and you find yourself comparing and having FOMO or wishing you had more things, we're doing more things with your summer, whatever the thoughts are, instead of thinking that you'll be happy when you have this or look like that or whatever the thought is, if you're spending your time scrolling and being upset, it's always a good wake up check to be like, hey, why am I giving my time to these thoughts? You know, when you take a bird's eye view and you realize you have one life, why are you spending it just making yourself miserable by comparing yourself and getting in a negative thought pattern? Why are you sitting here miserable scrolling someone's highlight reel when instead you could be spending your time with what you have and who you have around you, making it the best possible time you can? You can't change the circumstances that you've been given. You can't wake up and live a new life. And even if you could, if you don't learn to be happy with what you have and make the best out of any situation, even if you woke up in a completely different life that was the one that you thought would make you happier, if you don't learn to be grateful and appreciative and develop meaningful relationships with those around you, it's not going to change anything, even if you wake up in a completely new life. So remind yourself that next time you're in a negative thought pattern and just get up and go do something nice for someone you love and lean into your relationships and human connection and making a difference in someone's day and telling someone how grateful you are for them or how much you love them and appreciate them or going out of your way to make someone smile. That will make you happy and that will make you feel fulfilled. Invest into your relationship with yourself. This is actually a conversation that got brought up when Fern and I were bike riding the other day is we were talking about how play is actually considered like one of the best ways to grow your right hemisphere, which is the side of your brain that is key to happiness and how as a child and when you were younger, there were so many ways that were considered play in your day to day lifestyle. And then as an adult, you kind of lose those quote on quote play elements in your life. And I remember studying this in school actually and then I was looking at more research just last week that pretty much just talks about how happiness is, it's like 15% genetics and then the rest of it is made up of doing something that fulfills you and you're working towards. But then you also need elements of like pure happiness and just having fun and doing stuff that makes you laugh because if you're just like grinding, hustling, working towards something that fulfills you, you still do need to take those breaks and just like have fun with your friends and belly laugh and go let loose and have fun. So that is actually what the last episode, I can't believe we're already next week will already be week four. But that is what the last episode of the Hawke Girl Summer Glow Up series is going to be is a bucket list of just ways that you can have fun with where you're at this summer, be it on your own with friends, low budget, just wherever you are, so many ideas of ways to kind of like connect with your inner child and get those elements of play and feel like you have been doing enough and having enough fun because even for my girls who are on the summer grind and the summer hustle, it is so good and that is so satisfying to make a lot of money and know that you are like that is the most rewarding feeling is making your own money. But even then you still need to be connecting and making sure you're fulfilling the other side of happiness that comes from just letting loose and having fun. So next week is going to be an entire bucket list. I'm so excited to share that with you. You always know every new season. I provide the bucket list. I have one more thought that I wanted to share regarding kind of that destination seeking happiness thinking, Oh, I'll be happy when is that in COVID in quarantine, like peak quarantine when you know there's no school, there's no work, there's no travel before quarantine. I was always someone like I've said before, every May, Brody and I went traveling and we always like to fill our time with a lot of travels and just always having big events coming up and I kind of realized that in quarantine, I was always looking forward to the next trip and just like getting by getting through every day until I go on my trip. And then inevitably the trip comes and goes and even if it was a great time, it's like if that is your mindset, I found myself getting home and just thinking, okay, what is the next thing that I can look forward to? So when that was taken away during quarantine and I didn't have, you know, you couldn't plan travel, you didn't know what was coming. That was kind of when the idea of a morning moment was cultivated because I found myself being like, okay, what is one thing I can do every single day that I look forward to and that makes me happy. And that is why I think a morning routine is so special if you are on your grind, if you're working in the summer, it's like wake up early as hard as it can be, you can do it and have that time for you in the morning, your morning moment, what is something that you can look forward to every single day? You don't have to wait for the weekend, you don't have to wait for summer, you don't have to wait for your new ways to be happy, like what is something you can do for yourself every single morning as your morning moment that makes you happy. Yeah, it was just a really big like light bulb moment in my brain during quarantine when I realized that I had been living a lot of my time just always needing something else to look forward to and something next or the next milestone when then I was forced in a position to just make the best of every single day because there was nothing to look forward to. And that is I think when I really started realizing like making the most of every single day, it's so dark to think about, but each day really is a blessing and like the next day is never promised, you never know what will happen. So why are you waiting for the weekend? It is not even a 150% guarantee that you're making it to the weekend at the end of the day. Like I know that is such a dark way to think about it, but it just really goes to show and puts things into perspective of why am I waiting for the weekend? Why am I waiting for my vacation to be happy? What is something I can do for myself every single day that will make me happy that I can look forward to every day? The next way on how to build happiness and look at it as an inside job to work on instead of a destination you will reach is drumroll. Please, you know it's coming gratitude. I just really think it is so fascinating and so crazy when you realize that you have the power to completely change how you see the world. And when you really realize how strong your brain is and what you pay attention to and what you focus on suddenly becomes your reality. And the best example that I have for this that really just blows my mind and makes it so obvious that like what you pay attention to will suddenly be everywhere around you. So that way if you're practicing gratitude and focusing on the positives, the positives will be everywhere. And I just actually had a really big realization again that reinforced this this weekend. I was looking at a new vehicle because the one I have is actually like both Brody and eyes. So he has decided he wants to sell it. So then if I want a car, I will have to buy a new one for myself. And the one car that I kind of thought of next time that we drove into our building parking lot. Suddenly, there was like eight or 10 of them in the parkade. And each time we saw a new one because downtown parcades are insane. It's like a big bunker. There's honestly like five rows that you go through. Each time we saw a new one, I would point it out. And I was like, that's so funny. I never realized it till now. And Brody's like, I've never seen them either. And we drive past the same cars five times a day, five times a week without ever realizing how many of this one car there was in the parcade until I really fixated on that one car. If a gratitude practice sounds silly to you, it really is crazy how when you start focusing on the good and the little tiny things to be grateful for, suddenly your whole day is filled with things that you are grateful for instead of being negative and complaining and always picking out the negative and what you don't have and what you wish you were doing. When you switch that mindset and you start focusing on the good and view the cup as half full versus half empty, it changes your entire life back to my own personal experience in the summer when I was upset that I didn't have a lake house and I wasn't, you know, didn't think I looked a certain way to be in a bikini having fun at a lake house. That is truly embarrassing for me to share. But that just shows how much of a negative mindset I was in. I clearly did not have a gratitude practice. I clearly always focused on what I didn't have. And I let it make me miserable. And then I'm sure I found more things to pick apart and more things to complain about. And it just it blows my mind looking back and I'm so ashamed to say that out loud to you that that is how I used to think. But it just shows that if you're in that habit of picking out all the bad things in your life and what you don't have, it can really just ruin your mindset and make you just miss out on fun times you could be having in the present time with what you do have because you're just being so negative. Because I promise you, good things happen to you every single day. But sometimes they can just go unnoticed if you're not taking the time to notice it and intentionally acknowledging all the good in your life. I often get asked like what my gratitude practice looks like. And some days I write it down. But some days I honestly will just like wake up. And when I'm doing my morning moment, I'll just think of anything off the top of my head that I can think that I'm thankful for. And it can be hard at first if you're not used to this thinking, but it really doesn't have to be intricate. It doesn't have to be detailed. If you just get your brain in that mindset of thinking of things that you're happy and grateful for, it will become easier and easier. So some days I write down, I am grateful for this. I'm grateful for this. But some days I honestly just think it in my head, which are both effective ways of practicing gratitude. It doesn't have to be super specific and time consuming, but just getting in that habit. Seriously, every single day that it's sunny, I write down, I'm grateful for the sun. I'm grateful that I moved my body. I'm grateful for Brody who did this. And then it's like, if you take it a step further and thank that person and tell them you're grateful for them, that develops that deeper human connection and relationships that also makes you happy. So moral of the story is that it is competent girl summer, not comparison girl summer. I hope you've been enjoying the hot girl summer glow up series. Keep killing it. Remember, if you do something every single day, if you're doing one thing that will benefit and enhance your routine and your lifestyle and your mindset, that is way more than enough. And like I said, even if you're just showing up to this series, it shows that you're dedicated to yourself. So remember not to be hard on yourself. Okay, these things take a lot of time. And also the ideas that I'm talking about in this series, they aren't things that you will see progress from overnight. And that relates back to that instant gratification versus delayed gratification. If you just wait it out, keep doing it one more day. If you wait it out, I promise you will see results and you have the power to completely glow up and change your lifestyle and your mindset. I believe in you, you got this and I will see you next week. Mwah.