96. life is too short to count calories - ozempic & skinny being "in style" ??

♪♪ Your worth and happiness doesn't depend on a number on a scale, and your body size is not a trend that goes in and out of style based on what the Kardashians are doing to their bodies in Hollywood. Hello, my beautiful best friend. Welcome back to the Wellness Cafe podcast, your go-to Hawker Walk podcast. Today, there is a very important topic that I've just felt called to talk about, and one that is unfortunately so prominent in many girls' lives, and that is weight loss and counting calories. Trigger warning for any weight and disordered eating topics for today's episode. If that will affect you, this may not be the best episode to listen to. I do like to keep it lighthearted around here most of the time, like the past couple of spring reset episodes, however, there is more pressing topics that I like to remind you of and talk about once in a while. If you're new here, my name is Trin, I'm 23 years old, and I unfortunately spent most of my years growing up just always in a war with myself and my body, hating my body when I looked in the mirror, which in turn led to many disordered eating patterns. It definitely played a major role in my anxiety and my depression when I was younger, and that is why I want to bring awareness to this topic in today's episode. I did make some notes for today's episode, and I tried to break down what I wanted to touch on so that it is easy to follow because I don't know about you, but for me, I feel like some wellness and self-help podcasts definitely just give information overload, and I feel like I just, to be honest, end up zoning out, which that is not what we want, so I tried to break this down in very easy to absorb information, and I hope that this is able to help someone. With warmer weather coming and summer just around the corner, it is very exciting. We've done our spring resets hopefully, and we're gearing up for Hawkerel Summer, which can be some of the best months of the year where the most fun and best memories are made where you just die belly laughing with your friends, and swimming in pools and lakes and just sunshine, but on the other hand, you may be feeling a heightened sense of body awareness, and there's definitely more social pressure to be skinny and look good during these months. For me, honestly, in the winter, I am full hibernation mode. To be honest, like, to be brutally honest, I barely shave my legs in the winter. Like, who has time for that? Absolutely not, and that's just how it is. But in the summer, when you start seeing shorts and bikinis, all the summer clothes come out into stores, it can really just bring feelings of anxiety. And if you are someone who struggles with your body confidence, which I'm assuming that you have at one point or still do if you clicked on today's episode, I want to summarize the key points as to how you can go from being your own biggest critic to enjoying your life, wearing the dambikini and being happy. And that turn is one that I took in my life after many, many, many, many years of trial and error, and ups and downs and weight gain and weight loss and yo-yo dieting. So I'm sharing this today in the hopes that it helps one person skip the counting calories era of their life. That is honestly all I can ask for because you are beautiful. You are so much more than a body and your perfect weight is whatever weight that you're able to live your life to the fullest at because at the end of the day, you're not taking the size of your genes to the end with you. You're only taking your memories. Let that sink in. So why are we so hung up on the size of our genes and letting that determine our worth? I want to give a background as to what inspired today's episode and why I just felt such a strong urge to talk about the subject with you today. Then we will get into some studies of why counting calories does not equal to weight loss and talk about how you can be healthy and happy with your body. You deserve to love yourself. You deserve to wear the fucking bikini. You deserve to eat whatever you want and live a happy life. Keep in mind. Okay, here's the kicker that sometimes gets lost in translation. Being skinny and being happy are not correlated with one another. Okay, the two really have nothing in common, even though it can be so easy to being tricked into thinking that they do correlate. When really, I can assure you they do not. On my TikTok lately, I don't know how I ended up. On such a wrong side of TikTok, it's like you make one wrong turn and your TikTok for you page can be completely changed and you can end up on the weirdest side of TikTok. And this is surely not the content that I was looking for all over social media. I've been seeing headlines surrounding how skinny is in again and the whole idea of the Kardashians getting mega skinny after being curvy for years and having their implants taken out. I've also seen a bunch of videos about using medication for weight loss like ozempic. Now, whenever I see videos like this, I always like to scroll the comments. Honestly, just whenever I'm on TikTok, I read the comments. They can sometimes be like the best part and the funniest parts of TikToks. But not in this case. Okay, the comments were on a video speculating that a celebrity, which I can't remember who it was, but speculating that they had been taking medication for weight loss immediately as someone who has struggled with self love and body confidence and weight related topics all my life. I immediately just went to the comments and they were flooded, of course, with people asking how they can get the medication, how they can lose weight, how their bodies will never be that skinny and how they wish they could. You know, I'm sure you get the gist and you can picture the comments. And seeing this just makes me so deeply sad because I've been in that rabbit hole of counting calories. And it is not pretty. And it is not very fun. And it surely doesn't make you happy. And that's all you can ask for, right, is to be happy. Everyone is just trying to live a happy, fulfilled life. And often, being skinny is mistakenly correlated with happiness. And I sure had a time in my life myself where I thought that I would be happy if I could just lose 15 pounds. But you know what, I lost it. And I still wasn't happy. Then it was another 10. Then it was body dysmorphia to the max. And I still looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. And I was trying to lose weight to be skinny and lose weight to be happy. And many people will tell you that weight loss comes down to calories in and calories out. And being in a calorie deficit is the key to weight loss. So that's how I got into the rabbit hole, you know, seeing societies, beauty standards, thinking that I wasn't good enough. And then just heading over to Google and searching how I can be skinny and look like all the girls that I saw all over social media and newspapers and ads. So of course, that's how I got in the rabbit hole of counting calories and looking at food as numbers, checking the scale every day and having that outcome of the scale determine my entire mood for the day. My entire mood for the day was dependent on if that number was going down or not. When it's ironic, because if you want to lose weight, it's usually because you think that it will lead to happiness or more self confidence. And that surely was the reasoning behind me wanting to lose weight when I was younger. But what I just described of the things that I was doing, that was not happiness. It was more like prison, honestly, a very scary, lonely prison with not much happiness at all. And I don't want that for you. I don't wish that feeling upon my worst enemy, honestly. So that is why today, I want to talk about why counting calories is damaging for your mental health and why being quote unquote skinny actually doesn't lead to happiness, because this is a journey that I've been on for years. And I honestly have like, this is so sad. But really, I have my first memories of disliking my body and wanting to change it going back to when I was 12 years old, junior high. And that is just so fucked up and not right. So I want to use my platform to help just the incredibly fucked up diet culture that just perpetrates society today and impacts so many girls, everyone, it impacts everyone's mental health. I'm in a much better place now. Of course, I it's not perfect. I don't know if it ever will be, but most of the time, this makes me just so happy to say this, because I honestly didn't know if I would ever get here to a point where most of the time I'm happy, confident, and eating intuitively and have food freedom. But here is the but even with the progress I just described. When these videos of being skinny is in style, come onto my for you page and pop up and are all over my tick talk. And when I see tabloids of weight loss medication circulating around my social media, even I get intrusive thoughts of going back in that rabbit hole of wanting to be skinny to fit into society. And those thoughts creep into my head when this is what I see on social media and I've been doing the work. I've been through the ringer. I know what it's like. So I can only imagine what thoughts come into your head when you see headlines saying that being skinny is in style. And it scares me and I wish that it would stop because your body shape is not a trend that goes in and out of style. However, it can be tempting and easy to just get sucked into that rabbit hole of wanting to fit into society's fucked up standards and body trends, whatever you want to call it. Like somehow people are trying to say that a body size is a trend. Like your body size is not a trend that goes in and out of style. And just like with all this talk about ozempic and weight loss and just being skinny is in style and summer around the corner where you're wearing bikinis and shorts again. If that makes you feel like you need to lose weight. And then in turn you go in Google how to lose weight. You often are presented with results about a calorie deficit. And due to that very toxic diet culture in today's society, it can be easy to feel like you're never good enough and don't fit into society's beauty standards. So in today's episode, you're going to leave with science backed information as to why counting calories doesn't actually equal weight loss or happiness along with my own personal stories on just like what this did to me in order for you to find healthy ways to be happy and love yourself and live life to the fullest and make as many memories as possible. Okay, that is the goal because hands up if you've ever missed a dinner party or missed a beach day in the summer because you weren't happy with how you looked. I know that my hand is up and I wish so badly that your hand isn't up. But unfortunately, I believe that many hands may be up. So let's get into it. As promised science backed information as to why counting calories doesn't actually equal weight loss or happiness. The idea that if your skinnier, you'll be happier has just it's gotta go. Okay, it may be hard to hear, but I promise you, you can be happy and confident exactly how you are by rewiring these damaging thoughts that society has put into your brain. I promise you, you can wear the bikini right now. You are beautiful. Start telling yourself that okay, and you will start to believe it. Rewire the thinking. Where did the idea even come from that we have to be skinny to wear a bikini and enjoy the summer and be confident? What does your body have anything to do with your enjoyment of certain activities and memories? That doesn't matter. That is all superficial. It's what's on the inside and the conversations and how you impact people's lives. That really matters. Think back to a recent gathering that you were at and the first conversation that comes to your mind when remembering that time. Are you remembering the person who was the skinniest in the room? Or are you remembering the conversation with the person where you felt the best? That's the answer I thought. It's so weird and it's difficult I hear you because in your own head, you think that everyone is thinking about your body and that you can't enjoy the beach day with your arms showing if you're self-conscious about them. And in your mind, it seems like the biggest deal in the world when to everyone else you're with. They're just thinking about having a good time with their friends. It's not until you reverse it and look back on what you remember about who you're with that you realize no one is thinking about your weight because are any of your memories of times with your friends thinking about their weight? Absolutely not. You're just thinking about the fun times you had with your friends. When I guarantee you those memories you have with your friends, at least one or two of them, was self-conscious or having some body confidence struggles that day. When you think about it like that, that is when you realize that no one is thinking about your weight even if the news headlines say that skinny is in style. If you've ever thought about counting calories to lose weight, here are reasons why you do not have to do that. Okay, and why it will actually lead to more harm and not lead to the happiness that you think it will. Let's start with the basics. So, of course, your body needs calories for energy, right? You need the vitamins and minerals that come from calories and food. We all know that. But this is why only looking at calories of a food before eating it and just basing your diet off of the number of food shows and a math equation is so damaging when you're only looking at the numbers and low calorie foods. This often excludes healthy and nutritious foods that majorly contribute to your health and well-being. When you're counting calories, you can often exclude foods that are essential for your health and your basic body functions because they have high calories. For example, I know that these are the main two that really stuck out to me. And this can be things like avocados and nuts. These are both two very nutritious foods that also have higher calories. Like I said for myself, I just know when I was in while trying to do a calorie deficit and counting my calories, avocados repulsed me. Okay, I remember thinking to myself as if I'm eating avocado in my salad or avocado toast. Absolutely not. Why would I waste so many calories on that? Of course, hindsight is always 2020 because avocados and nuts that are high calorie are also high in healthy fats that are just beneficial to your body's basic functions. The research behind the gut brain connection is just so fascinating and truly so interesting to me. I would love to learn more and I'm not a doctor, but what I can tell you is foods like an avocado that have high calories so they can often be avoided when trying to be in a calorie deficit. The same food, avocados are also high in omega-3 fatty acids. And here's the kicker, the science-based benefits of omega-3 fatty acids include that omega-3 supplements may help treat and prevent depression and anxiety. Of course, I won't bore you with the science behind it because we are not in a lecture, but to summarize so that you're following along. Hypothetically, okay, if you want to be skinnier, to be happier and go into a calorie deficit and cut out high calorie foods like for example, your lovely little avocado with your delicious healthy fats inside of it, you are also cutting out a food that has studies done on its healthy fatty acids pointing towards the omega-3 fatty acids found in your high calorie nuts and avocados actually help prevent depression and anxiety. Okay, let that sink in. Do you see where I'm getting at? So thinking back to myself that surely makes sense as to why it was never enough weight that I had lost to be happy. I needed to, like I always needed to stay in a calorie deficit for longer to get skinnier when actually no shit, Trin, no shit you're not getting happier the longer you eat in a calorie deficit because you're actually just depriving your body of natural ways to prevent and treat anxiety and depression. So the longer I stayed in a calorie deficit, cutting out nutrients that were essential to my brain and body functioning correctly, the more unhappy I actually got. This is also just one example. There's also science-backed evidence that omega-3s provide a starting point for making hormones that regulate blood clotting, contraction and relaxation of artery walls and inflammation in your body. And on top of that, the omega-3s were just one example of nutrients being cut out of your diet when you're only looking at food as numbers and disregarding nutrients because they just don't fit into your math equation of calories for the day. There's a study on Harvard Health called Why Counting Calories Is Damaging and I wanted to pull this up to get some actual, you know, research and back my theories up in that they said how your body burns calories depends on a number of factors including the type of food you eat, your body's metabolism, and even the type of organisms living in your gut. You can eat the exact same number of calories as someone else yet have very different outcomes when it comes to your weight. And they emphasized essentially the same thing that I try to promote with my spring resets and morning routines and healthy habits is that you should put the focus on food quality and healthy lifestyle practices to attain a healthy weight because counting calories will be very damaging and is not a one-size fits all. In the article they highlighted just a lot of basic reasons why counting calories is damaging and I'll just summarize them for you quickly. They highlighted that for one, your gut microbiome has trillions of organisms living in your gut and the types that you have influenced how many calories your body absorbs from food. Harvard Health said that researchers have found that people who are naturally thin have different types of organisms living inside them than those who are heavier weight. So instead of counting calories to lose weight there are ways to focus on healing your gut instead and adding things into your routine that will heal your gut rather than restricting foods that have nutrients that benefit your body. Another very obvious fact that the Harvard Health article also pointed out is that your metabolism. Everyone's metabolism has a different set point that regulates your body weight from dipping below a certain point. And I know that this is very common knowledge but I really wanted to pull this from articles and research that is peer reviewed and backed and science-based in case me alone isn't enough to persuade you. That information about metabolism is why things like yo-yo dieting as I myself have done many times if you listen to my episode about how to lose weight fast and I explain just why it is so damaging and bad to try all the fat diets or crash dieting because once you're off of the diet your body has a set metabolism and you will just gain the weight back if you're not learning and building sustainable healthy habits. And really that's why I now put so much emphasis on the lifestyle and habit building routines that make you happy. If you're putting that much time into counting calories and you're doing math equations before eating a meal surely. Okay surely if you have time for a whole-ass math equation you can switch that energy and focus that time and energy on building healthy habits that set you up for success and you can put that energy towards building the habit of I don't know cleaning your space for a more peaceful mindset and you can put that energy towards a journal practice instead where you write out positive affirmations to yourself to build that self-love and confidence that you're searching for in weight loss and counting calories. All the time spent calculating your calories could be spent on a 30 minute workout that gets your heart rate up and releases endorphins in your brain and serotonin that scientifically makes you happier because remember that's the goal right happiness you're counting calories to get skinny to be happy hypothetically. Putting that time and energy towards rewiring your negative thought pattern instead and finding a workout that you love that will help raise your levels of happiness. Cutting out negative people in your life and nurturing friendships that make you belly laugh and cry of laughter that will lead to happiness. Being fulfilled and following your passions in life and not being scared to take risks and go for what you want in life that is happiness okay happiness is not a number on a scale or counting calories. I also did some more research and wanted to find more studies you know actual science for the girlies who are just hesitant to take my word on it I get it I hear you and I found a study from the University of Louisville called My Fitness Paul calorie tracker usage in eating disorders. There were 105 people in the study and they were recruited from a community eating disorder clinic and basically they were just answering a questionnaire measuring their anxiety depression and eating disorder symptoms so they were asked two questions related to My Fitness Paul and the first question was have you used My Fitness Paul to track your calories and out of 105 people 78 reported that they had used My Fitness Paul to track calories and second they asked did you feel that My Fitness Paul contributed to your eating disorder in any way. 73 said My Fitness Paul somewhat contributed 62 said that it moderately contributed to their eating disorder 30.3 said that it very much contributed to their eating disorder and 17 said that it did not contribute and if you're unfamiliar with what My Fitness Paul is it is basically an app where you track your calories throughout the day and you input every single thing you use and it adds up your calories for you to make sure that you're hitting a certain number and my own personal answer to those questions is that yes I have used My Fitness Paul to track calories unfortunately and it 100 percent led to my disordered eating and a binge and restrict cycle that was out of control and making me miserable when the goal here was happiness and that is why I have mentioned this before to please please please be careful and mindful of who you follow on social media in regards to wellness influencers especially I love that wellness is a trend but it is too easy to just film your aesthetic morning routine for followers and you know be faking it and then just get brand deals and the amount of quote-unquote wellness tick-taw creators that I've seen promoting calorie counting apps or fasting apps to their followers that are looking up to them for wellness inspiration makes me physically sick to my stomach and it hurts my heart and that is why I just needed this podcast and created the show to take my wellness content further than just aesthetic videos because of course they are great and that is one passion of mine but what truly fulfills me is seeing you and hearing you get happier and live a healthy happy life back to why counting calories is bad for you is that the entire process and act on its own of counting calories is consuming and stressful personally I remember times at restaurants being scared literally scared of dressing for my salads or there were times where I didn't enjoy drinks with my friends in the summer not just the drinks but didn't even go to the hangout because of the calories that is stressful excluding yourself from social connection that is essential to your well-being and mental health because you're counting calories what is more stressful than spending your life counting calories and not enjoying your food and yet again counting calories leads to stress and stress can lead to weight gain also long-term ongoing stress can increase your risk for hypertension heart attack and strokes and you know what can control your stress journaling and having a peaceful night routine full of little habits and actions that make you happy and calm and cleaning your home can control your stress it's so easy to hear me talk about healthy habits and and think that it's repetitive but it's times like this where I truly break it down bit by bit the best I can to show you that creating a healthy lifestyle and simple habits in your everyday routine really does benefit your mental health I don't repeat the same 10 habits to you over and over again because I just lack depth or intelligence or because I think an aesthetic notebook will change your life I do not give a shit if your notebook is aesthetic does that make journaling more fun sure but can you journal and rewire your negative thought patterns on a sticky note or scrap paper absolutely you can I repeat these small habits that sound redundant because finding healthy habits and simple everyday pleasures that make you happy truly can change your life and make you happier you don't need to lose weight to be happy and wellness doesn't need to be overcomplicated you don't need to count calories I promise you that anyway I just really wanted to share this because before I had the knowledge that I do now when I was younger I was a victim to thinking that I had to look like society's beauty norms which one hello plastic surgery and Photoshop are huge within social media and two genetics like everyone is different and has a different place and resting place where their body naturally likes to be but it made me think that I wasn't good enough or deserving or pretty enough with the body I had and you deserve to know that you are perfect how you are I eat healthy I work out I try my best I'm very happy to be at a place where I don't stress over food like you had ice cream because you want to go for an ice cream date with your boyfriend and have a fun date out of it perfect that's so fun and I hope you romanticize it and watch the sunset too calories from drinking on a patio with your girlfriends in the summer awesome sign me up I'll be there you're never going to be this young and hot again and you should cherish the times where you all live in the same city a beach day where you have to wear a bikini that is such a fun day I hope you get a tan and jump in the water and get your hair wet and remember the fun memories that you make if you try your best your best is always enough I live a very balanced life and I try my best to take care of myself while still allowing myself to enjoy life's pleasures and was there a time where I was maybe five pounds later sure there was but you know what I didn't get was all the memories with my friends and dinner dates making past a while singing music and pizza dates in the summer and watching the sunset and ice cream dates like I could go on and on you get the gist and that's the funniest part is that the life I live now with food freedom and eating intuitively the days where I was counting calories and miserable I don't think my weight has changed that's the worst part because of the stress and the bloating and the inflammation and the loss of nutrients I think at tops maybe I was five pounds lighter and is that worth it absolutely not I take care of myself and workouts while still enjoying life and you know what I wear a large or medium in most sports bras and honestly most tops for that matter I don't think I'll ever put a size small top on my body that's just not the way my body naturally is but I know that I'm taking care of myself yeah my thighs touch my favorite jeans the Levi dad jeans the best jeans in the world I wear a size 29 which is almost one of the biggest sizes that they even make the jeans in but I know now that that is because that's how my legs are you know that's just how my legs are they're not going to be twigs and there's no point stressing about the number like I work out I know that I have muscle I know I take care of myself and I don't really give a shit what size my jeans are so you shouldn't either oh you know what I'm sorry I've been blabbing forever obviously this is just a topic that I am very passionate on and trying to get my message across but another thing that happens when you're counting calories that I forgot to mention what happens from malnourishment is hair loss holy shit why are more people not talking about the literal clumps of hair loss that happens when you're malnourished and counting calories and not getting any nutrients I've been trying to make my hair healthy and thick again for years from all the hair I lost because I was literally malnourished from only looking at the calories of foods and not caring about the nutrients like your body needs a variety of nutrients to maintain its literal tissues and its functions correctly and malnutrition can happen when you're not getting the nutrients you need and that can even result in things like immune system damage and blood pressure issues and digestive issues like bloating hair loss fatigue low energy you name it brain fog the list goes on and on and I won't go on forever I just just let this be your reminder that if you've ever had a thought that you need to lose weight for the summer or you see a video about ozempic on your timeline or another video of how skinny kim kardashian is and someone telling you how skinny is in style just remember that your body weight is not a trend that can change with the times and you are more than a number on a scale and you are perfect as you are I wish that I had someone to tell me that counting calories is very damaging on multiple parts of your body mentally and physically and getting skinny from excessive measures that come unnaturally to where your body wants to be will not result in happiness and in all my other episodes where I talk about small everyday pleasures I promise you that if you lean into those and build a healthy lifestyle and nourish yourself with nutritious foods and have fun with life and dance in the rain and be spontaneous and surround yourself with positive friendships and if you stay as close to the things and people in your life that feel like sunshine if you stay as close to them as humanly possible you will find happiness outside of your appearance I love you thank you for listening to today's episode and remember that your body is the least important factor about you and the least interesting part about you health is not about how you look but it's about how you feel mwah