french tips #1

My name is Ty French, and this is my podcast. That's what it's called. Ty French Podcasts. Ty French Podcasts. Ty French Podcasts. Ty French Podcasts. Ty French Podcasts. Ty French Podcasts. Hello, hello, hello. But welcome back to Ty French Podcast. My name is Ty French, and this is my podcast. And that's why it's called the Ty French Podcast. Happy Wednesday, everyone. It's hump day. I hope everyone had an amazing weekend. I hope everyone had an amazing Juneteenth holiday. I hope everyone is having an amazing week. And just an amazing life. If I hope everyone's just thriving because I know I am because the sun, the sun, the sun will not come out tomorrow. It came out today. Am I okay? No. Because I'm delusional because the sun is fine. The out for the first time in what feels like months. And Jose was on the phone with me this morning. And he was like, yeah, it's supposed to be like a gorgeous week. And I looked at the weather for this week. And let's just say I might believe in God again. Like God is so real to me this week. It's supposed to be like high 70s, all week, sunny. This is why I moved to LA. This is what Los Angeles says to me. And I can't freaking wait to take the top off of Read of the Wrangler and drive up PCH at some point this week. It will happen. And it's going to be amazing. And I just, I am thriving. I can't wait to show you guys all about it once I actually complete that task. Because I've been waiting to take the top off of Rita. I cleaned my entire garage the other week. I told you guys about it. And I've just been waiting. I did that so that I could take the top off and, you know, store her in there. But it's been so cloudy. So I don't want to do that. And now I'm ready. I'm ready to enter my Callie Beach Boy Summer. Anyways, that's really the only life update I have for you guys this week. Other than the fact that I was an absolute ferro rat. Absolute ferro rat this weekend. And in my ferro rat activities, who did I stumble across? If you guys follow our type of podcast on Instagram, you guys would have already seen the tea because I posted a photo of it. Not me running into Tom Sandivall right after my sandivall episode dropped. Yeah, that's right. I ran into Tom Sandivall at the buy you this weekend. And, duh, I didn't go up and talk to him. Absolutely not. But I did have to say, excuse me. And I did shimmy around him. Like we did Gray's bodies, which did make you feel a little bit uncomfortable. But the real hot tea of this story that I didn't even say on Instagram. So this is a podcast exclusive. So I walk into the buy you and I'm like, oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. There's Tom Sandivall. Like I just dropped my episode about him and like, I'm just, I'm in disbelief. Anyways. So then, you know, whatever. I have to scoot by him to buy you. If you've been to the buy you, it is the smallest bar in America. And so like, there's no missing him if he's in there. Then he leaves, you know, he was in there for a few minutes, whatever. Who walks in? Ten minutes after his departure. Tom Swartz. Need I remind you that me and Schwartz are like this now because all of our friends were drinking together at the buy you a few weeks ago. I was hammered. And I went up to Tom Swartz or we were like standing by each other at the bar. And I was like, oh my gosh. Hey, like, I don't know if you remember me. We were drinking together like two weekends ago. We were taking jello shots. Yada, yada, yada. And he was like, oh my gosh. Yeah. And I was like, well, how are you doing? And he was like, to be honest, not great. He was like, I'm not doing that well. And I felt so bad for him. I feel like he's just really getting the short end of the stick with this whole situation. But I give him a big hug. And I was just like, we believe in you. Would we love you? And I don't know. I felt really bad for him. But I just thought it was interesting that there's supposed to be best friends. And why were they at the same bar the same night, but not together? It's almost as if they were purposely trying to miss each other. So I don't think that Tom's are good and dandy these days. I don't think they're friends. I think Tom Schwartz finally gave Tom's hand of all the boot. And I'm excited to see all that unfold. And if I have another encounter or another run it, I will give you guys the four and one, obviously. Other than that, I'm trying to think if I have any other life updates. I went to Texas pool this weekend, got to hang out with my cute little Bessie Coco. And that's about it. Other than that, I just drank. And it was a feral rat. I'm ready to go back on my no drinking pause. We'll see how long that lasts. But I feel like I've just entered a phase where it's like, you know, I go like two weeks on a weekend on. You know, instead of partying every weekend, I just party less. Or I'm trying to. That's the goal. That's the life goal here. Especially with summer coming in hot now that the sun is finally arisen. I knew this was going to happen to me. I need to go out of the gym. I need to get my fitness back on track. And it's really hard to do that when you're just a party feral rat. So I don't know. We'll see. I'm about to get a new Equinox membership. Stay tuned for me there. And yeah, I got to get the summer body right because I'm turning 27 soon. My birthday is in three weeks from today. And yeah, I got to be looking hot going into my late twenties. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. What was that? Not mid twenties. I'm entering my late twenties. And that is not okay. That is really just setting me to an orbit. And I've really been thinking about it a lot these last few weeks. And here's the thing. There's nothing more annoying than when you say like, I'm turning 27. I'm like, oh no. I'm feeling like you're still so young. You're like, yeah, no shit. Sure. Like, I know I'm not turning 80. But like, let me mourn my twenties. Let me mourn my young twenties. Okay. I'm not 21 anymore. Let me mourn it. I know I'm not turning 80. I know you're older than me. I know you're. People are always like, oh, but I'm 36. Yeah. Guess what? Didn't ask when your birthday was. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about me and my birthday. And like that, I am turning 27. And that I have not mentally prepared for that. Let me have this moment. Do not ruin it by being like, oh, no, but you're still so young. You're, oh, when I was 27, I was doing this. Shut up. No one asked. I'm just kidding. That's rude. Anyways, I'm just really excited for the summer. I'm so happy that the sun is finally out. I can't wait for my birthday. I can't wait for cancer season. We're coming up on a year of the tie-french podcast. I hope everyone is just fully aware of that. If you've been here since the first episode, that you are an O-G tyrant. And I'm just, I'm reflecting so much on the podcast as we approach our one year anniversary. It's the first week in August. And I don't know. I've got some changes coming up that I'm excited about. I think I'm going to reshoot the cover, which maybe is a controversial topic. But you know, that photo is like a year and a half old now. So I don't know. I just want something fresh. And there are a lot of other changes that might come that are really exciting. And I think you guys will like, and I think will be really fun moving forward. That's really all I'm going to say so far. But I'm hustling over here. I'm working. I'm working for my little tyrants. And I can't wait to show you guys what I'm cooking up. Today's episode of The Podcast is a segment that I've been dying to do. And I'm super pumped about it. We are going to the salon for some French tips. And when I posted about this on the Atty French podcast Instagram stories for you guys to send in things that you wanted tips or advice on, you guys just love the name French tips. And the whole concept of it. And I just have to give a shout out too. I have no idea who. But one of you guys, one of you little tyrants, DMed me this idea forever ago. And I was already in the process of doing an advice segment and like I always knew I wanted to do that. But I didn't have like a title for it really. And one of you guys DMed me and said you need to do an advice segment called French Tips. And I ran with it. And I apologize that I don't screenshot it to give you proper credit. But just know that in my heart I know it was you. And I'm not taking full credit of that. Okay. This was not my idea. But I'm running with it because it's literally genius and I'm obsessed. Anyways, so welcome to The Salon, the first episode of French Tips where you guys can send in anything that you want tips or advice on. And I will share my opinion. I'm not saying that this is going to be the right way or what you should do or this or whatever. This is my opinion. This is my tips. This is my advice. And take with that what you will. Okay. Okay. First submission. I started a new job almost a year ago and I'm in love. Okay. So basically one of my coworkers is my literal dream man. We laugh about the same things like the same music, flur all the time and whenever I leave a shift with him, which we both just spend talking to each other the whole time. I feel rejuvenated and completely head over heels. I genuinely never have loved someone this much. This is where the problem comes in. I can't have him. I don't have a chance. It breaks my heart to even think about it and I wish I could make these feelings go away. She says, why do you have a chance with a girl? What do you mean? As I'm assuming she is saying in my voice, that is my response, which it is. It is my response. Why do you have a chance with him? Give me the deeds. She says, well, people found upon our age difference is the first issue. Wah, wah. Okay. Okay. Here are things we're getting interesting. She says, he is 18 and I am 16, which by the way, I don't even think is bad. What the heck? Also, whenever we are together, we flur and all, but he's always asking me for advice on how to approach and get the girls he likes and tells me stories of the people he's been hooking up with and kissing. Hard eyes, hard eyes, hard eyes. Awesome. I know right, dream man. And lastly, he's moving across the country in a couple of months. Ah, please help Ty. I love him so much and I just need help stopping. Should I tell him how I feel? Should I try to make a move? Or should I leave it alone knowing that the whore I like will never be mine. Wait, why are we calling him in a horror then? Okay. I'm ill. Okay. So, as a gay man, who has had all female friendships my entire life, this is not the first time that I have been in this situation, in this predicament. This isn't the first time I've been asked about a particular situation like this. This isn't the first time I've seen a woman be gausslet and manipulated by a male co-worker of hers. So, to that, I say run, run, bitch. Get out of there as fast as you can. This man is trouble. He's a loser. And I don't know anything about him, so I'm gonna stop there. But no, I just feel like I have seen some of my best friends have these like work romances with guys that don't go anywhere. It's just this like, you know, work is boring. Work is lame. No one likes to work. And if you can find a little fun, flirty friend to hang with while you're at work, of course you're gonna pursue that because it makes work enjoyable and it makes it like not annoying to go to. And I truly do feel like boys, well, flirt with you, make you feel special, make you feel like it's more than it is, just because they're at work, they're bored. They just want to do something. They just want someone to talk to. Like, they want someone to fill up their time while they're at work and they're never gonna take it anywhere outside of work. So, to you, I would just say like, if you really feel like you're getting too invested, like you need to separate yourself from him. And if you feel like it's maybe something you even need to bring up to him and be like, hey, I think we should just like, you know, maybe cool it with the flirtiness and just, you know, I don't want to get my hopes up on something and we should just, you know, make it more friendly. Or just have fun with it. And recognize he's moving in a few months, he's too old for me, which I know you don't think that 18 and 16 is that big of a deal, which two years is not, but the age maturity of someone between 18 and 16, it's like, a lot happens. And like, that is inappropriate. It's technically illegal if anything were to happen. But I really do think that, you know, it doesn't hurt to be a little flirty with someone at work and to have fun and to like, you know, dream of this guy that you like at work. But you just have to make sure that you're having healthy boundaries with it and know that it is inappropriate to take it any further and that he's moving. So don't get invested. But you can so little fun with it if it's not like actually hurting you. But if it's keeping you up at night, like I've had a friend who got a little too invested and it literally just ate away at her. And it would like literally kill her. It would keep her up at night and she was so anxious and like, but then when she was at work, she was having so much fun. Then she'd get home and you know, she would just overthink every text message and every, every Instagram story reply and all these things. And if it's to that point, I really do feel like you need to separate yourself from him. But if you feel like you can just have fun with it and just you know that it's never going to go anywhere and it just helps make work go by quicker than have at it, girl. Our next submission says, hi Ty, first of all, just want to say that I'm your number one fan, LOL. I've been following you since the early days of Instagram, your sunflower photoshoots still lives rent free in my brain. When you mentioned noodles and co last week, I died. Wait, first off, I forget love you. I love noodles and co and I cannot believe that you've been around since the sunflower photoshoot. To put that into perspective for you guys, I'm pretty sure I was 16 and I'm 26. So this bitch has been around for 10 years and I would just like to say thank you. I love you and you're amazing. You're, wow, wow, wow, wow. That just made my day. Anyways, okay. Her submission says, we love some advice. I'm in my late 20s and just recently moved away from Utah and left the Mormon church. I'm trying to make friends in a new city, but I feel like I don't know how to fit in. I've never really drank or been to a bar or a club before. I haven't even really been to a party, LOL. I want to be proactive and meet people and ask friends to hang out, but I don't want it to be obvious that I have no idea what I'm doing or for my reputation for being the Clueless X Mormon girl. Also, I want to make sure that I'm staying safe since I'm new to drinking and going out. Any advice on how to invite people out, what to order or how to answer when people ask what drinks you like, any tips for being safe? Thanks a bunch of you answer my question, hard, hard, hard. First off, I love you, girl. I'm not going to say your name because I'm going to keep things anonymous here in the salon. When you go to the salon to get some French tips, it stays between you and I, baby. Oh gosh. Okay, so as a fellow X Mormon myself, I didn't start drinking or going out or going to a bar until, I don't know, maybe I was 22, which might seem like not that long because you can start drinking only when you're 21, but let's be honest, everyone drinks in a high school, you know, you drink in college, you go to all these parties and yada, yada, yada. I did not do that, and so I totally understand how it feels when I moved to L.A. and the pressure, I lived in L.A. for three years before I ever went to a bar or before I went to a party or any of these things because I was so nervous and for all those same reasons. So I totally feel you, I relate to you, your feelings are 100% valid, but I truly do think that we, as X Mormons, just get in our own head with drinking and there's a lot of shame that comes with that. So first off, I would just say to really get comfortable with yourself and make sure that you know that you're not doing anything wrong with drinking or going out. And it is 2023. No one is going to judge you for being new to drinking or, you know, for not being used to the clubs or what to order if, you know, you share your story and whatever. If anyone does judge you for those things, that is not the right crew for you. And that is not the right crew that you should be going out with regardless. If you meet some new friends and like you want to go out for drinks and like, you know, you share your story, you grew up more mad. And wait, what did you guys order? Like, what do you think of that? Is that good? Do you think I like that? I like things sweet or, you know, just be open and communicative with them and people love that. At least that was my experience when I first started going out and I would ask friends like what to drink or what to get. That's one of the fun parts of starting to go out and drink is everything's new, everything's exciting, and it can feel really nerve-wracking and nervous, but just embrace it and brace that new thing. And it is really hard to meet new friends in a new city and a lot of that has to do with drinking. And so if you already don't feel comfortable with drinking or going out, that is just going to hinder your new friendship experience. So it totally relate with that. Your feelings are valid. You're not alone. But I feel like something that just really helped me is leading into the fact that it's a new experience and it's 2023, like so many people don't drink. So many people go sober or are sober for so many different reasons. And I think as long as you find a group of friends that you feel safe with, and you know, you open up about your experience leaving the church and not drinking and now drinking for the first time, there are going to be just as excited for you as you should be excited for yourself. You should feel excited to go into this new journey, into this new experience, of going out, dancing, drinking, and trying new flavors of drinks. And do you like vodka? Do you like tequila? And if you find friends that are good people, it's 2023. They're going to love it. They're going to be like, oh my gosh, this is your first time going new bar. This is your first time going out dancing. Let's go. Let's try margaritas. Let's try this. Let's try this. And you know, that is a really good way to make friends because it just is automatically conversation starters of, oh, okay, what drink are we all getting? Oh, do you think I'll like that? Is it sweet? Is it sour? Blah blah blah. Can I try yours? Do you want to try mine? So I think if you just find a new group of friends that you feel safe having those type of conversations with, that is key. And if you found a group of people that make you feel less than or dumb for, you know, just starting drinking or asking questions about alcohol or not knowing what to drink, that's not your front group. And you should steer clear of those types of people for sure. In terms of staying safe while drinking, I think just taking it slow and you know, it takes everyone a little bit to learn their limit. You're obviously probably going to have nights where you have one drink too many and you know, you might throw up or your hangover is going to be shit the next day. But that is just part of learning your limits within your own body because everyone's limit is so different and don't feel like you need to try to keep up with other people. If other people are having shot after shot after shot and you're feeling like a little uneasy, but you want to keep up because you're like, oh, well, maybe this is just the thing that people do. No, do not feel like that. Listen to your body and it will tell you when you had too much or when it's time to go home. And just make sure you're only going out with people that you know are going to have your back. That are going to tell you, hey, like, I think maybe let's go home or here's a glass of water. When you're drinking obviously those aren't things that you want to hear. But I think it's really important to make sure that you're only going out with people that you feel like. Even if I'm an annoying drunk mess when I go out and I throw up at the bar or I get in a fight with my friends or whatever it may be, I know for a fact that I'm only going out with people that at the end of the day are going to make sure I get home safe that no one is going to be taking advantage of me and that, like, if I lost my phone, they would drop everything and help me find it. Like, I only go out with people that I know have my back and that are going to make me feel safe. And you should only go out with people like that as well. And obviously when you're in a new place, like, it takes a while to build that trust. So I just think maybe make sure that you have a game plan going into every situation. You know, maybe what time you want to be home if you have to pre-order a car, how you're going to get home or where you're going to sleep. And maybe make sure that you're not getting yourself to the limits where you're drinking too much before you feel safe with that group. So, you know, maybe go out for a happy hour or something more casual and build that bond with someone before going to, like, a house party where you're not going to know anyone and, you know, things might get a little bit more rowdy. But I truly do think that a lot of your fear is coming just from, like, uncertainty and it just being new. But really, just try to have fun with it. Like, drinking should only ever be fun. It should just be, like, a fun way to connect, a fun way to, like, loosen up, relax, go dancing. So just try and have fun with it. And don't be shy to ask people to go to a happy hour or, you know, what are you guys doing this weekend? Or, you know, let's get together and watch the Bachelorette and have wine and pizza. Like, drinking doesn't always have to be, like, a rager. But I think, I don't know. Take a deep breath. Realize that it is not that serious. Be open about your feelings with these new friends. Don't be scared to, you know, invite people to a happy hour and be like, listen, I'm actually kind of new to this. What do you guys recommend on the menu? What do you think I should get? Or, you know, have conversations how long have you lived here? What's your favorite place to go dancing? I've never been dancing. Wait, we should go. Just be proactive and just make sure you're having fun with it because that's all drinking should be. It should only be just fun. And yeah, I'm excited for you. So please give me an update when you get your hands on the reins and how you feel about being a little fair rat round. Okay, my next submission says, hi, Ty, as a wedding photographer and guest, please give any tips on, wow, moments or details that you have seen at weddings. I'm recently engaged in starting to play in the wedding of my dreams. Shoot me some inspo. Okay, wow, I feel just really qualified for all of these tips here at the salon because I'm an at sweating photographer. And I also just went to a wedding. So, that doesn't make me qualified. The wedding photographer thing really makes me the most qualified to give this answer. And I've always said, I truly do think that my wedding's gonna be the prettiest wedding on the planet. Because the amount of weddings I've been to and the amount of weddings that I've shot, I just know what it takes to make a gorgeous wedding. I know what it takes to make a fun wedding. I've seen and, you know, been very close with many, many brides and through the whole process, through their engagements, through their bridles, through the wedding day. And so, I know what they liked and what they didn't like. So, I feel very qualified to say this. And honestly, as a photographer, think about your lighting. Most brides do not think about the lighting and they only are thinking about the venue and the scene. And, you know, when they're picking their ceremony location, they might put their, you know, floral arrangement on the most beautiful cliff side where the mountain is and that's the moment. But, the sun is in the absolute worst spot. Really think about and maybe have a meeting or a walk through with your photographer beforehand about lighting. Because lighting is everything in a photo. I'm sure you guys can even just tell base off of like your iPhones that if you have good lighting with a photo, you look absolutely stunning and the photos great and the colors of vibrant. But if it's bad lighting, you're not getting a good photo no matter how good you look. Sorry about it or how pretty the scenario is. I can't tell you the amount of times I've shot weddings where the ceremony is so gorgeous. Location wise, like the geography is amazing. And the bride looks so gorgeous and the couple is so stunning and it's such a beautiful ceremony. And the photos just don't reflect it because the lighting is so bad. And it's so like photographers aren't magicians. There's only so much you can do. You know, if you're having a wedding in the woods, at noon, and there's all these shadows from the leaves of the trees coming down on you, sure, in person it might look and feel like you're having the twilight wedding of your dreams. And it might feel like that to you. But guess what? Those photos are not going to reflect that because the lighting and the shadows are going to be so harsh on you. And I've actually had that before where you know, a bride came back to me and they were like, oh, like, is there any way like fixed lighting in these? And I'm like, what do you want me to do? Like, there is no way, unless I make them HDR and they're hideous. Like it, it's just really disheartening when you put so much planning and so much money into something and the photos are obviously the things that last. But you really just want to think about, especially for your ceremony because family photos and different things like that, obviously the photographer will work around the area and just make sure that's the perfect lighting. But the ceremony is the one thing that as a photographer, you can't get there and be like, yeah, you're going to need to move your whole entire ceremony and the chairs and everything. So think about that beforehand and maybe even talk to your photographer beforehand, like months beforehand, before you decide exactly where the ceremony is going to be to make sure that at that time of day, the lighting is going to be good for photos. Because even if you really have to have on a certain cliff side or something, there's ways that you can position it, even just like angling it, just slightly 45 degrees different angle can be game-changing for all of your photos. I promise you. I also would recommend that you do your first look and your bridal photos before the ceremony. That might be a hot take. A lot of people don't like this. A lot of people want the first look to be like when you're walking down the aisle, whatever, to each their own. I personally would rather have my moment be more intimate with my partner. I still want that first look. I still want that special moment. And I want that moment to be more private and just us to be able to like talk and be in that moment together. I don't want to have to like walk down the aisle and then hold hands and then immediately go into reading a script. You don't get a really like even relish in that moment. It happens so quick and then right after that, you immediately have to rush to go take photos and you have to take your family photos and your bridal photos and it's just a lot and it can be really hectic. And then you go straight into the reception. There's not a lot of time to just really be intimate with just you guys on your wedding day and to get those photos and to have that time again. So I really think do your photos and your first look before your ceremony. Also, think about, you know, your ceremony, you're gonna be crying, probably sweating. I want my photos to be looking snatched. I want my makeup, my bronzer to be perfect. I want to be the powder to still, I want the makeup artist to say, okay, you ready to go? And then 10 seconds later, my groom is in my face. Because I want to look beat down house to the God's mama's sleigh and I want my suit to be perfectly iron still. I want to just look perfect in all the photos and I want his first look of me to be perfect. I don't want to have to do my photos after I've just been crying in front of my whole family and friends. And then, you know, everyone's trying to give me a hug and congratulate me. No, no, no. Do your mom move before? Have your photos before. You're not gonna regret it. Sure, the moment of you guys walking down the aisle and stuff is cute and sweet. But like, what's the difference of just doing it an hour before? Like, there's no difference. And you're gonna get so much more good content and you're gonna really be able to remember that moment more. You're maybe gonna have a little luster drink before that. So, I don't know. My last tip for you would be to just really think about, just be careful about where you're spending your money. Spend your money where it really matters. Don't spend your money on the trivial things. If you're working on a budget, which I think everyone should be, even if you have millions of dollars to spend, it's like you shouldn't spend an egregious amount of money on one day. It's just done. The amount of stuff that is gonna end up in the landfill after your wedding is ridiculous. Like, even invitations and save the dates and place setting cards and a seating chart. All of these little details that you're not gonna remember or care about in 20 years. Your kids aren't gonna look through your wedding photo album and be like, oh my gosh, you're seating table chart next to the walk-in stand is so gorgeous. No, no one cares about that. Like, really put your money where, obviously where you want, but where you think is important. For me, I know Florals is just a huge part of who I am. That's a huge thing that I love. And I really think it just really elevates photos and it's super memorable. Even though it doesn't last on that day, I really think that that has a big effect on setting the tone of the wedding. So that's something that's really important to me. Things like, you know, even hors d'oeuvres or, you know, the bar or things like that. I'm like, I don't care. You could drink a vodka cranberry at my wedding. I don't care. I'm not paying $40,000 to have bartenders making spicy lime margaritas. Like, no. So, I don't know. Just pick what's important to you and what you think you're gonna care about in five years and don't sweat the small things. Because it don't matter. I've seen so many brides, like by the time it gets to their wedding day, they're like, I don't even care. Like, just set it all up. I'm over it. I'm done. I don't care. And time and time again, I've heard my brides talk about how the next day, they're like, oh my gosh, I didn't even get to see the cake. Or I didn't even get to see the guest book or I didn't get to see the arch at the beginning when the guests walked in. All of these little things that you're paying for for your guest experience, screw the guest experience. Worry about yourself. What are you gonna wanna do on the day? What are you gonna wanna see? What are you gonna be able to see? And that's where you're gonna put your money, okay? Okay, my next client that's up for some brunch tips that the salon says, love the podcast. You never fail to make me calculate every episode. Thank you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I need to really cut it with the singing you guys. It's not me sounding like the elf just then. I love you. I love you. I love you. When he's in the office talking to us out. Okay, anyways. Do I have ADD? Gosh. Okay, so I have a need of dating advice. I'm 24 and I have been single my whole life. Yup. Never had a boyfriend and I've only been on a handful of dates. Mama, do not feel bad about this. Do not feel bad about this. I repeat. Do not feel bad about this because men are trash. Okay. Anyways. I've never had a boyfriend and I've only been on a handful of dates. Personally, it doesn't really bother me anymore because, oh, when I'm like, don't worry, mama. You're okay. And she's like, I actually don't care. Okay, can I just, I'm just gonna read the whole thing. Okay. So, I'm gonna need some dating advice. I'm 24 and I've been single my whole life. Yup. I've never had a boyfriend and I've only been on a handful of dates. Personally, it doesn't really bother me anymore because I love my independence and boys are annoying. So, it's probably better for my mental health anyways. However, I recently started using the dating apps again and just went on a first date and started talking to a guy I really like. Suddenly, I've become very insecure about my lack of experience and I'm scared about how to bring it up. Any advice on how to speak about lacking experience while still coming off as confident? Love a little tyrant. I love you a little tyrant. We were on the same page before I even got reading through the whole thing. We were already on the same page when our trash, you should not be insecure about being 24 and not going on a ton of dates or having a boyfriend because, you know what, men are disgusting. I'm 27 and I'm like, I'm not me aging myself three weeks early, I'm only 26, but I'm approaching 27 and I've only ever had two boyfriends and both of them not long term. The side effects long term, let me tell you that much, but the actual physical time we were dating, not that long term. Even I feel that. I feel insecure about dating. I don't go on a lot of dates. I don't hook up with a lot of people. When I do start hooking up with someone or I do start going on a date with someone, I also feel insecure because I'm like, if they're like, oh, my last relationship was three years. I'm like, oh, my last three months, bitch, so I don't know, I don't know. All of a sudden, I can guess myself and think, are they going to think, why can't this person have a relationship longer than three months, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah? I can relate to your thought process right now, but it's kind of similar to what I was saying about the drinking and her insecurities about bringing it up to her friends or being considered as the ex-mormon or whatever, whoever you are going to date, if they have an issue with your lack of experience, that's weird. That's weird. So please just go in with confidence and be expressive and communicative about your experience and your level of where you're at because experience dating, yes, is a good thing and it's great. I don't think you should marry the first person that you date, but that happens to some people. Anyways, that's a side conversation, but your lack of experience dating means that you will have so much more experience in other areas and that's what's going to be attractive to the right person because you weren't dating multiple people or had this long relationship in your early 20s, you've been able to do other things and you really learn who you are and become independent. That a lot of people in long term relationships or that have only ever had partners their whole life or went from boyfriend to boyfriend to boyfriend or girlfriend to girlfriend in high school, then to college, then to whatever they might not really know who they are or they might not be as independent. There are pros and cons to both sides and whoever is going to be the right guy for you is going to find that attractive and is going to actually appreciate the fact that you did take your early 20s so you know, figure yourself out, figure out what you want in life and who you like and just because you haven't dated doesn't mean that you don't know who you like or what you like or what you want. I really just cannot express enough that it is nothing to be insecure about having a lack of experience. When it comes to sexy time, I can also relate on how you would feel maybe insecure or nervous about lack of experience there, but once again, it is 2023. You are only 24 like if a guy is making you feel weird about having like no experience or little experience in that department, he's discussing and you need to run for the hills as far as possible as fast as possible. If it is the right guy, he will be excited to show you the ropes of things, not even like with sexy time, but just with the relationship and the right guy or the right girl or the right partner will be just obsessed with you and will be excited to be your first for a lot of things, will be your first boyfriend, will be your first, like you said in your message, boys are annoying and honestly, life without them is probably better for your mental health. I would just keep going in with that attitude of, okay, great, I'm willing to day and to put myself out there, but I don't need you, I don't need a man, I'm not looking for validation in you and if you're not looking for validation in someone, that is the best place to be when dating, especially with online dating, because you have to upper hand. You can go on these dates if it works, great, if they add to your life, amazing, would love to be hanging out and if you're a dirt bag, I'll still be able to watch it, I'll be later. Okay, my next one, I haven't read any of these beforehand just to FYI you guys, so I didn't have like answers predetermined, I'm going off the cuff, you're getting a fresh hot off the press, advice here at the salon, but I just kind of read some words in this first few lines and I am about to go off on this bitch, so okay, my next one says, okay, first of all, I love you and your podcast always makes me die laughing, you're like my fun older brother, okay, I love you bitch, I love you my little tyrant, but I'm about to go off on you, because she says, I'm 19 just a baby, so advice, I'd get ahead of this exactly, but basically I think I'm fugly, and it's ruining my life, look, if I'm trying to be as objective as possible and third party observer, I know I'm probably conventionally attractive ish, like people will tell me that I'm pretty sometimes, the other day I complained and an acquaintance was like, wait, what, but you look so good, I'm convinced they're lying to me to make me feel better, I'm pretty bad at acting which I'm currently on, I can tame for and that's definitely a big part of it, but low key, I think it's my facial structure and I'm just fucked, what, girl, I genuinely just think, shut up, I'm going to punch you in the face, I genuinely just think I'm hideous and it's making me miserable, I feel guilty that other people have to look at me and it just destroys myself worth, please, I beg, give me some advice on either self confidence or how you make yourself feel beautiful, I go through waves of thinking I look okay, but when it's low, it's low, okay, I apologize, you do not mean to laugh at that by any means because this is serious, but I want to punch you in the face, like, you cannot talk about yourself like this, I'm sure you are so beautiful and the terms of even just saying, like, I'm sure you're beautiful, it's like, no, you are beautiful, you are beautiful because we are all beautiful, we are all so unique and I know how it feels to feel insecure, to feel ugly, even when people are telling you that you're attractive or even when you know that you're conventionally attractive or what people say is attractive on paper, I understand how that feels because I've been there multiple times in my life, but your words just have so much power and I think you really, first off, are 19, like, when I was 19, I thought I was fucking hideous, and when I look back, I was, I was right, but, like, how I looked when I was 19 versus now is so different and the things that I was so insecure about, I truly feel like now are really good, strong suits about me and I feel like I've really just grown into, when I was 19, I was looking at surgeries to get a forehead reduction, when I was 19, I was looking at getting rhinoplasty, I got veneers, like, I was just looking for anything, I felt like I was so ugly, like, when you are 19, you don't even look like how you're gonna look like for the rest of your life, like, I promise you, but not even that to say, like, just wait, it gets better, 19 is such a sensitive time in your life, you are now an adult, you know, you maybe are out of college or you just had a high school or, you know, you're moving out on your own, you're starting this own life and you're learning, like, who you actually are as an adult, who are you separate from what you've been taught your entire life. So it is just a really transformative time of life and you have a lot on your mind and a lot of decisions to be made and a lot of pressure of the world. So I hear you, your feelings are so valid, but literally you are beautiful and I really just think that we as people have to be so careful with the words that we speak or think about ourselves because your brain, whatever you tell it is what it's going to believe that is going to become its reality to be like, oh my gosh, I look so fat or oh, I look so ugly or oh my gosh, I like my hair cut is so bad today, like I can't like those little things that whether how serious you mean it in the moment or not really add up and your brain starts to believe that there are obviously times where we're all going to feel low. I don't even know what to say to this because I genuinely just like want to give you a hug so bad. The fact that you are feeling like this is just like breaking my heart. When you're feeling down about yourself, maybe you know, say one positive thing about yourself. When you're feeling ugly, say one positive thing that you like about yourself, like at the end you say you go through waves. So really make sure that you're recognizing like when you're on the highway of not thinking about your ugly, like what are you doing different? What's, what's causing the waves to go high and low? Okay, our next submission says, adore you my taikila queen. You are a true gem and I appreciate the last you give me every week. Thank you, thank you, thank you, my queen. Anyways, she says, I've been talking to this guy for two months made out of party and then actually hit it off. He takes me on the most romantic dates is such a gentleman holds the door, pays for everything, text me to make sure I'm home safe, etc. I've met his family and he's met mine. He is not officially technically my boyfriend yet, but we are mutually exclusive and it's getting there for sure. He's a really bad texture and I'm moving away locally 45 minutes for school in September. Do I let it be easy and fun or do I talk to him about it? 45 minutes is not far, but unless I can have that connection with him, not in person, I don't know if the short distance will work out. Even though I'll be home on the weekends, what do I do? I'd never thought I would enter a university with a boyfriend. When we are in person together, though, it's the deepest connection I've ever found. He's just never, ever on his phone, which is good, but also annoying. Let me tie. Okay, this is a tricky one because I definitely think that if you have a great connection with someone like you need to follow that through and connections in this life or fleeting, connections in this life are hard to find and to find a good guy is hard to find. So if he is being a really good guy to you, I think it's really important to pursue that and put that for in. Being at that texture, especially when you're a little long distance, 45 minutes can be very frustrating. Let me just put an inter perspective for you. 45 minutes isn't that long at all because I live in WeHo. If I start dating someone in Venice, they could take me 45 minutes with traffic to get there. Obviously, it's different out of not university or whatever, but like 45 minutes, that's really not that bad. So I think if someone is, like if I was dating someone in Venice and they were a bad texture, I wouldn't like break up with him. But I think, you know, maybe you need to find a substitute for that. If you're not a good texture, but like, okay, like, can we FaceTime every day? Like, or are you just, are you not going to be there for me at all during the week? Or you're just not going to communicate with me at all because that's a difference. If he's not going to like be communicative with you at all, only on the weekends on your home, that's an issue and that's grounds for dismissal. But if he's showing you that he cares and he misses you, then I think there's other ways to make it work than just to just text. I'm not that big of a texture either. Like when I'm newly dating a boy, it's like really hard for me to like really get into the taxi because I don't want to every five minutes big. So what are you doing? How's your day? How's this? But if you want to FaceTime me at the end of every night, at the end of every day, and chat about my day, would love to. Would love to chat. And that's like where I feel like I get my connection from that person for that day. I don't have to be texting you all day. Sure. If I get back from a trip, I'd love for you to text me. Like I was a trip. Like I'm not not going to have you text me at all. But I don't think that's huge grounds for dismissal. You're definitely at a point where, you know, if you're mutually exclusive and you've met each other's families and you hang out a lot, like I do think it's appropriate to have a conversation if it's making you feel nervous about his lack of communication. I wouldn't maybe even necessarily say like you're a bad texture. I mean, I guess you can. It's not that big of a deal. Like I wouldn't go into it feeling like accusatory or that it needs to be this like big deal make or break situation because I don't think it is, especially because I think you won't really know until you get there. Like maybe when you get there, he'll all of a sudden be a better texture because you he doesn't see you a lot. You know what I mean? Like maybe it doesn't feel the need to text you a lot because you guys are seeing each other more often right now. Like you aren't away at university yet. But maybe once you're away at university, he'll become a better texture because he'll miss you. So I think you can definitely bring it up and maybe just be like, hey, I know I'm moving 45 minutes away. Like what do you think? How are we going to do this? How are we still going to make sure that we make time for each other and blah, blah, blah, blah and see what he says? I feel like I would just go into it being a super chill, easy gal and see what he says. But I definitely think that like it sounds like you've got something that you should be fine for and does he have brother? Okay, our next submission. A lot of these submissions are dating advice, which I just love. I can be the love expert even though I've never had love. No, I'm kidding, I've been in love. But I'm not the best at relationships. So I would take all my relationship advice with the grain of salt. Okay, I'm giving the advice that I should have taken. Okay, and that is especially present with this next one as I've just provided before I start reading. Okay, so over the past year and a half, I've started hanging out platonically with my ex. We broke up like four years ago, but I have stayed in contact on and off. We were hanging out regularly and then after a wild wild turn of events, we hooked up on Crest this morning at like 3 a.m. We haven't kissed this. The way I just said, hot, deserves gel time. We haven't kissed since then or really anything for touchy. I moved away for like eight months. He actually came and visited me for a week, LOL. Now that I am back home, we hang out at least once a week. When we hang, it's just really easy and we are so comfortable in each other's presence that we have like zero boundaries. There's a very messy ex in the mix, but he literally spent 40 minutes complaining about her today. I don't know if this is a good idea to explore again because we want very different things long term, but also like, why not life is short. SOS tie help. Run, bitch. Run. Get out of there. No. Oslo Megamuchacho. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I am the girl that always goes back to the ex. I am the girl that always gives it one more shot. I am the girl that says, LOL life is short. Why not? Don't be me. Don't be that girl. It never works out on that. It never ever works out in the end. Let me tell you. I just, obviously every situation is different. I'm entering this advice segment. I'm entering this salon, French tips section with a lot of trauma and a lot of my own regrets and mistakes, but I, from my experience, I really just think that your ex is for a reason. Let it be... I think you can be friends, I guess. I think that gets messy, but do what you may. I wouldn't explore it. I would not explore it, especially if there's a messy ex in the mix. I'm getting triggered. I'm getting triggered. Let me tell you. Yeah, no. I say run for the hills. I just really don't think that messy with an ex is a good idea. That's really all I have to say. Do what you will. I hope it works out for you without him. But I'm praying for you because I know, I know the mess of being messy with an ex. Let me just say that much. Okay, our next client in this salon says, I'm really struggling to make friends. I'm 24. I had a big friend group in high school, but we all lost touch since going our separate ways after graduation. And I feel like I haven't made any genuine friendships since then. I also just got out of a five year relationship and often feel lonely and wonder what the purpose of my life is if I'm just working and coming home. I'm missing the social life, but truly don't even know where to start or how to find friends. I'm more introverted and not super into clubbing or bars. How do I find friends who have similar interests? It's a lonely world out here. Okay, first off, I totally can relate. It is so hard to make friends, especially if you're not super into like going out or bars or whatever. When I first moved to LA, I literally felt like I had no friends and I didn't go out. And so I just never hung out with anyone. So I totally relate. It's such a hard time in the world since we're so like digital to meet people like in real life. But that being said, I've met most all of my friends on social media. So I think if you follow people in your area that you feel like you know would be friends with you or that you have similar interests or whatever, don't be don't be scared to message them. Ask go to happy hour or go to lunch or brunch. Also, I'm not sure about this because I've never used it, but doesn't like bumble and like dating apps now have like a friend option. I don't know how like successful that is, but you're not the first person that feel this way. So don't feel like oh my gosh, like is this just me? I'm a loser. Like there are a lot of people that you know, after college, after high school, you know, your high school friendships float away and then you get to point and you're like, uh, I don't like my coworkers. How am I supposed to meet new friends? And that's why they're asked for it. So maybe check that out. See, see what they're like. See what like bumble BFF. I think it's one Raya. I think has a friend option. I can guarantee you that many other people feel this way. I think it's just about like, who just did this quote the other day? It might have been, I can't remember. It was like a celebrity like Gwyneth Paltrow or something, but they said, do not live in your house. I think that was the quote. I don't know. It was something like that. Like don't live in your house or don't spend all your time in your house. Your house should be to sleep and to go home and eat. Like get out of your house. Go to workout classes. Go to the park. Go like, if you have a dog, take me to the dog park. If you have, if you don't have a dog, go just play in the park. Read a book or something. Like go to restaurants by yourself. Go on solo hikes. Like you have to literally be out of your house in order to meet people. Sit at a cafe and if you see someone else and they're by themselves, give me a chat. That feels very intimidating. I honestly feel like I would start with like bumble BFF or something like that, but let me know how it goes. If you try it. Okay, our next client at the salon says, I just graduated from college and feel so lost. I have no idea what to do. Slash my passions. And it's not necessarily with my degree. I am just so overwhelmed and scared that I am going to go nowhere. I also live in Tempe and the resources for jobs are so small here. It feels like I would love some advice on how to encourage myself to keep pushing and to have confidence. Love you. Girlie, girlie, girlie. I wish I could just shake you. You just graduated college. Sister, this is your time to thrive. This is your time to feel like this. Like all your feelings that you are feeling are 100% normal and how you should be feeling. This is your time to experiment. This is your time to figure out what you want to do with your life. Most people do not know what they are doing for the rest of their life or their passions or who they are anything when they are fresh out of college. You have just spent your entire life at school living at home, then in the dorm or with college, college is this false land of just like Narnia. You never grow up. You're partying. You're with all your friends. It's the first time you're out of your house. And now you're graduating college. And now it's like, oh shit, there's a real world. I don't have the safety net of my family. I don't have the safety net of college classes or a dorm or all of this. We're all going our separate ways and we have to like go out into the real world. And that is the scary thought. Like your feelings are so valid. But take this nervousness about what to do or doubt or you know, whatever and channel it into energy and motivation to just get out there and try as many things as possible. Like I know you mentioned like with work and stuff and that can be a little bit more frustrating. But I think that will also come with just like putting yourself out there and trying a ton of new things and like traveling and you know maybe get outside of tempi. If you're not feeling inspired and tempi and excited about the opportunities there, guess what? You can go anywhere you want. And I know that's easier than done. Obviously expensive to like move and uproot your life or whatever. But I don't know. I just think like now is the time in your life where you can take risks with very little consequences. And you're going to really like cherish this time in your life when you look back on it because the older you get, you can still take risks. The consequences are greater and it's scarier to take risks than to try new things the older that you get. And right now you are in the perfect time to literally experiment, try whatever you want. I can't even tell you how scared and nervous I was at like 21, 22, 23, the age where typically you graduate college, I didn't go to college. But that age was like so scary but so freaking fun. Like I look back now and I'm like, what were you stressed about? You have nothing to stress about. You don't own a home. You don't own this or you don't own of that. And like now, you know, I'm creeping up on 27 and it's a lot harder to make these risks and to change courses and to you know, travel the world and you should just channel that nervousness into excitement about like where you're at in your life and the fact that you don't know what you want to do and that you don't have anything tying you down and that you don't have this like career that you're running for. Like you just completed college. Let that be enough for now. You were just in school for X amount of years. Let your mind just kind of flow right now. I think you're like mourning a chapter in your life of, you know, when you're in high school, when you're in college, you have a schedule, you have a routine, you have people that you see every day. And when you graduate, that's a big change. That is a big life change. You go from seeing a ton of people your own age, all in the same stage of life to now you're out in the real world, not knowing what to do. And that can be scary. So your feelings are so valid, but just don't put pressure on yourself. Enjoy this time of uncertainty and new things and change because it's so exciting. Okay, our next client at the salon says, I would love your advice on dealing with friends who are pick me's and can never seem to stop getting into drama. I have this one friend, and no matter when I talk to her, it always has to be about this new guy she thinks is obsessed with her because he looked her way or how we can no longer be friends with this person because of some random reason she over dramatizes. I've tried distancing myself and changing the subject, and I've even been pretty honest outright telling her that there's no need for extra drama and that she's over analyzing everything. But no matter what, it's always back to the amateur drama. She's been my friend since we were little and I feel like I'm just stuck with her advice. How to deal with pick me friends, how to drop a childhood friend without being rude. If you need extra context, I'll be a freshman in college and she will be a senior in high school this fall. Any thoughts would be appreciated, obsessed with you in the pod. Okay, okay, okay. First off, going to college and then her still remaining in high school is a good buffer for you to maybe start easing out of this childhood friendship. Some people just are neatly more dramatic. If you've said your piece, like you have said before, we don't need to over dramatize this, whatever if you tried to be up front with her and she's still not understanding it. I think honestly, the best thing for you to do is to just let it fade out. You don't have to cut off all ties completely. You are embarking on this new journey and you're going to be meeting so many new people and I feel like really just like embrace that and enjoy that. And she'll probably get the hint. If you stop texting her, you stop hanging out, you know, you're going to go to study group. You are going to have this new friend group that you're hanging out with, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She'll get the hint and if she isn't getting the hint and she needs an explanation and she brings it up to you, I think honesty is always the best policy. I think just tell her, just be like, listen, I can't do it anymore. I cannot be around your negative energy and I would love to still be your friend, but I have tried to bring it up to you before or in the past and you just always end up going back to your old ways and it's just not an environment that I want to be around anymore. And then maybe she'll address it and she'll get better. I don't know, but I think just let it fizzle out for a minute, maybe give yourself some space. She's still in high school so maybe she needs to mature a little bit and this doesn't have to be the end of your friendship forever, but maybe just give yourself some time to enjoy this new chapter that you're in and let her, you know, soak and, you know, finish high school and have some time to mature. The next client at this lawn says, I have a little crush on a guy that lives down the hall in my apartment building. I've talked to him briefly a couple of times, but we rarely run to each other. I saw him on hand so I know he's single. I gave him a like, but haven't gotten anything back. Do I take that as a hint that he's not interested or if I do run into him again, what should my next move be? That's tricky because I'm very not confrontational. You will never see me making a move on a guy. Um, so that's tricky because I don't know and I also like, I've never been on the dating app so I don't really know how it works. Do you know for a fact he's seen you if you liked him? Because if you know for a fact he's seen you, if you liked him and have not heard anything, then I would drop it. If there's a possibility that he didn't see your profile when you liked him and you want to make a move when you see him, I think if I had the confidence to make a move, I'd be making moves left and right, but I don't because I'm insecure. But if I did, I would do it. So if you feel like you have the confidence to make a move, they can move. It doesn't have to be like that forward. Just like start a conversation with him and, you know, maybe ask what they're doing this weekend or, you know, if you're having like, if you're hosting a pregame soon, be like, oh my gosh, like I'm having some friends over for some drinks. You should come over, you know, make it very light and casual. But if you think he's seen your profile and he didn't like you back, I'd drop it. That's my auto thoughts. Okay, the last client at the salon today, getting some French tips. Me and my boyfriend are both 20 years old and have been dating for two and a half years. I love him and his family, but they never invite me anywhere with them. I don't expect to go everywhere, obviously, but it would be nice to feel included at least sometimes. I don't know if his family just doesn't like me or if they just don't think about asking me. I've talked to my boyfriend and he says that they like me, but I don't know what to think. So when you bring it up to your boyfriend, do you ask him why they're not inviting you or are you just asking him, does your family not like me or do they like me? Because I would be very specific about bringing it up to your boyfriend. If you're just asking him, why doesn't your family like you and then he's like, what do you mean? They do. And then you leave it at that. That's not the issue. You need to say, why doesn't your family ever invite me to hang out? Does your family just really appreciate a lone family time or do they not like me? There's obviously a bigger, there is a reason it might not be that they don't like you, but there is a reason that you're not being invited. Unless, like you said, there's just nothing about you. But I've really highly doubt that because here's the thing. If you've been dating for two and a half years, they think it about you. That mother thinks that you could very well most likely be her future daughter lot. So she definitely thinks about you. I think your head's in the right space. I think it depends on the activities in which they're not inviting you to. If they never invite you to anything, then obviously that's an issue. You should be included in some things. If you've been dating their son for two and a half years, you should be included in certain activities when it's like a whole family or a group of people for sure. I would just ask him specifically, I would maybe start slowly. Don't make it like a bigger topic conversation of like, why don't they ever invite me to anything? I would maybe wait until the next thing happens. Then when you guys are talking about it, when your boyfriend's talking about it, they're like, wait, why didn't I get invited? I would have loved to come. Then he'll have an excuse or he won't have an excuse. Then you'll say it again, the next time you're like, wait, why didn't I get invited? I would have loved to come. Then I'll have an excuse or he won't. It's like if you keep bringing it up each time, then the next time something happens, he'll be like, oh, I need to invite her to this because she's not feeling included. Boys are so dumb. You really got to be specific with your boy. I don't know. Maybe I don't know how close you are with the family, probably not very close because if they never invite you or anything. But if you've been dating for two and a half years, I can assume that you're pretty close with the family. Maybe ask the mom, be like, hey, would love to join next time you guys go here or here or just want to make sure that I'm not doing anything to annoy you or I don't know. Like I said, honesty is always the best policy. Okay, that is all the time we have for clients at the salon today. I hope everyone enjoyed their French tips. This was a fun little first episode of this segment. I'm excited to do more. If you guys ever have anything that you need advice on, you can email me at podcast at tyfrench.com or you can DM me over at tyfrench podcast on Instagram. Emails are definitely easier because it's more all in one spot and they don't get lost. So that's podcast at tyfrench.com. Yeah, I'm going to be hopefully doing another one very soon. This was super fun. I hope this was helpful. Make sure you give this video a thumbs up. Make sure you give the podcast a rate and review in the Apple podcast apps. Spotify wherever you stream your podcast. It really helps me a ton. I love my little tyrants. Thanks for listening and stay tuned for next week.