My name is Ty French and this is my podcast.
Hello, it's me. My name is, I'm tone deaf, so that was not going to work, but I was
trying to do hello by Adele.
Anyways, hello, hello, hello, and welcome back to the Ty French podcast.
My name is Ty French and this is my podcast and that's why it's freaking called the Ty
French podcast. What's up, everyone? Happy Friday. We made it to the end of the week.
This whole week has just felt like a Friday. Every single day felt like a Friday because
of the birthday and the yada yada. We already heard about that. We're not going to go into
that, but it just really is just felt like one big weekend and you know, with the move
and everything, I've just got a lot going on, a lot of my mind and it's feeling very chaotic.
On that note, thank you for all the love on the news that I'm moving to Venice. If you
guys didn't listen to last episode, then that might be news to you, but surprise, I'm moving
to Venice Beach. I'm so excited. It's going to be so amazing. I went and looked at it again
today. Well, I mean, not to look at it, but I went today to get my keys and to just take
some measurements and stuff so I can get some stuff ordered because as I've said before,
I think I can remember actually if I've said this, but it doesn't have a closet and that's
going to be an issue. But I think I've got to figure it out. I'm going to go to IKEA and get some
shizz and we're going to be good. But yeah, I posted a little sneak peek for you guys on the
Attyprench podcast. So if you guys saw it, then yay. If you didn't see it, then that's why I got
to be following the Typrench podcast on Instagram so that, you know, sometimes I drop little hints
or I post things just on the story, not on the feed. And you got to watch it with an
a 24 hour period or it goes away because it's a story. So that's just more incentive to get
Instagram followers. And I'm going to be using that bait until I have a million Instagram followers.
So yeah, if you guys saw it, you guys, I got so many nice messages about it. And I just am so
excited. Sorry if you guys went to YouTube to watch this episode. I am doing audio only today
because I have just been doing a lot with the move and I had to shoot an ad earlier for a company
for like an Instagram reel. And so all my camera equipment was like not normally set up how it is
for the podcast. And anyways, I'm not going to I don't want to explain myself to my little tyrants.
Okay, you guys listen to me. I don't listen to you. Anyways, no, but just with the move and everything,
my life is chaotic. So you're going to get audio only today. And next week will probably be in the
new apartment. So you guys will get another little sneak peek if you guys watch on YouTube next week.
Anyways, yeah, thanks so much for all the nice messages. I am just really pumped. It's going to be
amazing. Stay tuned on my Instagram stories on Instagram. I'll tell you about the move next week,
probably. I have my apartment at the end of the month. And so I don't know exactly like I might move
this weekend. I might move next. I might be do it like slowly. I don't know. I'm stressed. It
happens so fast. And I feel like with moving, there's just so much to do. You have to you know,
switch to your power, your electricity, your water, your all of that information. I'm going to have to
get a new driver's license. Oh, Lord, you guys already know if you're an OG, then you know the stress
of my driver's license. So I can't wait for that. But yeah, there's just a lot of stuff to change.
I have to call like my like security company and have them come switch out my logs and do it in
the new place because I've got a security system in my apartment because you guys know I've had
an attempted break in. And that's not going to happen to me anymore. Though the new apartment,
I don't really know how anyone would break in because of the second floor. But I got to be safe
out here in the streets. Okay. Anyways, I went to take measurements today to order some stuff
from IKEA. And after that, I'm in my Chipotle era. And so I got some Chipotle. And you know,
as I'm walking in, I see an unhoused person outside and by unhoused, I mean homeless. And I know that
unhoused is a more politically correct term. I'm not sure why because I don't think they care.
I don't think they care if you call them homeless or unhoused. They don't have a house. They don't
they don't. I don't think that's their issue. Anyways, so whatever you, whatever you, whatever
term you want to use, I'm going to use unhoused. But there was an unhoused individual man. And he
had a sign up that I thought red food when I like walked in to Chipotle. And so I was like, wow,
okay, I'm going to, you know, I was kind of in a rough day. I was having a rough morning. And
just driving over all the way to Venice, doing the measurements, getting a key, like, I don't
know, it's just a lot. And I always feel like stressed. And I was like, okay, I'm having kind of a
rough morning. I just feel some bad energy. And I need to put some good energy out into the world
to, you know, just lift my spirits and just have good karma. And yada, yada, turn my day around.
So I was like, okay, I'm going to get Chipotle perito. I don't know if he's going to want a
perito. That might be kind of hard to eat. So I'm going to get him a bowl. So I got him a big
bowl. I got him, you know, just very generic things. Like I got like rice, lettuce, you know,
fresh tomato salsa, like people to guy, oh, I got chicken, just like very like generic, nothing
like super spicy yada yada. And I pay, I get my burrito, I pay. And I'm just thinking I am the
Dalai Lama. I'm thinking I am mother Teresa just about to put all this good karma out into the
world. And I'm just going to be receiving blessings from higher power because of this. And I'm just,
you know, just really just excited to give it to him. I was like, looking at him outside of the
window and I saw that he already had a water bottle. So I didn't give him a water, but I was going to,
anyways, I'm not bragging here. I'm just saying, tell me why I then walk outside to hand him his
meal, his delicious lunch. And this man proceeds to ask me if it has me on it. And I go, yes, it has
chicken. He then hands me back the bag with the bowl in it and says, I am only eating vegetarian right
now. Now, I have no words. I have no words. And here's the thing, anyone's allowed to eat whatever
diet restrictions they want, no matter if you're unhoused, housed, whatever your situation is,
whoever you are, whatever your gender identity, whatever whatever you are, you're allowed to have
your own preferences, of course. I was just gagged, gooped, gobbled, um, shocked, shook,
and distraught that now, all that good karma I was singing, I was putting out of the world,
was just revoked. And like I said, I was already having kind of a rough day. I was kind of out of
rough morning. And it was just like in my head about a lot of things. Yeah, that didn't help.
That didn't help. So what did I do? I took my sweet on ass home. I ate my burrito and I stuffed
the bowl in the fridge. And I'll probably have it for dinner. So I guess that's a plus. Or is that
I already paid for it's already here. So I might as well eat it, but it's gonna be gross. It was
like six hours ago. I just could not believe it. I don't even know what I want to say because I don't
like I'm trying not to be problematic because like whatever he's allowed to have whatever preferences
he want. But I'm like, sir, sir, I just literally paid $17, you know, Chipotle bowl, you are sitting
outside of Chipotle with the sign asking for food. And do you not think that maybe on that sign,
you should have I'm a vegetarian on there. So that the kind person in line who is going to be
surprising you in doing a good deal with the day and getting you food knows to get you a salad,
not chicken. Anyways, that's that's all I'm going to say on that. But it just really, you know, put
put another damper in my day and stay tuned. I should know if the Chipotle bowl is good for dinner
tonight. Anyways, last night went to my friend Michael's comedy show and it was so fun. I'm trying
to think what else I have done this week. Oh, it was my birthday on Tuesday. How could I forget?
How could you guys forget? Honestly, I haven't shut up about it. But I told you guys because I
recorded Wednesday's episode on my actual birthday. And I had to rush off. Sorry, it was a little
bit of a shorter episode. But I had to rush off to the Teza event. They had like an Italian summer
event up in like Silver Lake Hollywood Hills to celebrate their new studio launch. And like I said,
it is literally the best editing app and the best editing tool ever. You guys need to get it. If
you guys don't have it already, I'm sure you do because everyone has Teza. It's literally the best.
But I went to the back. I got there a little early to help Teza shoot some picks and she is just
one hot ass bitch. She literally looked so gorgeous. The house that they rented out
was insane. I literally felt like I was in Italy. Every detail that they did was just perfect
down to the napkins. They had stickers on a fruit stand. They had like the cutest photographer.
There was someone doing sketches. One of the cartoon sketches called, I don't remember, like a
caricature. Yeah, they had someone doing caricatures. There was pasta and a cup. There was
gelato. There was fruit stand. There was lemon cello socks. White wine. It was so beautiful. And
honestly, at first, she told me she was having an event on my birthday. I said, okay. I guess you
don't care about me or my plans. And now, no, I actually didn't really care. But I was so glad
that it happened to me on my birthday because I just got to see all of my friends, all of my work
peers. And I was in the most stunning yard in this Italian villa with an open wine bar. Lemon
cello shots pasta. It was literally amazing. And everyone was telling me happy birthday and I was
just showered with love. I got to see all my friends. It was a gorgeous night. Honestly, I could not
have asked for a better birthday. It was stunning. And let me tell you. So you guys know I'm normally
taikila. I'm a taikila drinker. But this event was more Italian and, you know, happy hour, sunny
vibes. So the bar was only an apparel spritzes and wine. I don't drink apparel spritzes. It tastes
like frickin' nigh cold to me. I don't like it. But I was drinking white wine for the first time in a
while. And don't get me wrong. I love my white wine. I love it. It's just been a while since I've
drank it because wine hungovers are the worst. And I was reminded that very quickly, very,
very quickly. I was having white wine thinking, oh my gosh, I'm being such an adult. I'm being so
good because I'm only drinking wine. I'm not drinking taikila. I'm not ripping shots. I'm,
you know, going into my 27th year. I'm just, you know, going to wake up tomorrow feeling so
refreshed. No, no. I would have been, I would have felt better if I was drinking taikila shots.
But just literally the white wine paired with the sugar and the lemon cello shots.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. The next day I was RIP literally in bed all day. I was so
hungover. And I was just like, what? This, this is why I don't drink wine. And yeah, if you guys
have ever drank wine or had a wine hungover, you know, you know that it's worse. It's 10 times
worse. Your head is just like pounding. But anyways, it was worth it. It was so fun. Like I said,
then I mean, I was hungover the whole day the next day. But then I got out of bed to go to my friends
comedy show. And he crushed it. Michael Shada, if you're listening to this. But yeah, that's kind
of been my week this week. It's just been crazy. A lot of stuff, a lot of things happening.
I had the boat, I had the B day, I had Tesla's event, I had my friends comedy show, I'm moving.
Wow, the fact that I even managed to squeeze in time to record the podcast has been insane.
I know the podcast schedule has been a little off lately. And the YouTube's or not YouTube's
has been all over the place. But I promise once I'm settled into this new apartment,
we're going to get on a much better schedule. And I am going to be filming every single one. And
it'll be a lot better. So thank you so much for your patience with me. I can't wait to get in
that apartment. Tomorrow I am going fly boarding with Jose. I don't know if that's technically what
it's called, but it's like, it's where you're like on a paddle board in the ocean. And it has like
a little motor on it and a fin and it like you like fly, like you literally glide above the water.
I don't really know how it works. They just sent me an instructional video and they were like,
watch this before you go tomorrow. I'm like, okay, but it's also going to be an instructor because
that looks very hard. Stay very fricking tuned for me and Jose in the middle of the ocean on flying
surfboards. And also, I'm scared of the orcas unionizing. I'm scared of an orc, I'm scared of a
shark. I'm scared of a dolphin coming and attacking me because it's different when I was on the boat
and I just quickly jumped in this. I'm going to be hovering on a board in the middle of the ocean.
If I fell off, also like a mochacho. I'm shark bait. I'm shark food. Fish are friends not food. That's
what I'm hoping they are going to be thinking about me. And you know, I might have to sacrifice Jose
if I see a shark. Sorry Jose. You're going in first. I can find someone else to fill in for
a totally rid of. I'm just kidding. I would never. I would have to do a new segment, obviously.
No, but so yeah, stay tuned on Wednesday for how that goes. And if you guys want to see, I'll
probably be posting on my Instagram stories on Atty French tomorrow. But yeah, I'm really excited.
It's going to be fun. My song of the week for this week, I think I forgot to do it on Wednesday.
Sorry, but my song of the week right now is Rush by Trois of On. And I'm sure you guys have heard it.
If not, you guys need to go listen to it. I am obsessed with Trois of On. He has just been like
such, uh, I don't even know what to say. Just, uh, I've just left him for so long. Like since I came
out, like his blue neighborhood album came out. I think around the same time that I came out of
closet. And he's gay and just like, uh, hearing a boy sing about a boy, like that was one of the
first, um, artists that I got into that I got to experience that with. And his voice is just so
beautiful. And I love his style, his Instagram, like the way he shoots and his music videos and
everything. And his new song, Rush is so catchy. It's so fun. The music video is so iconic. And
I think it might be the song of the summer for me. So give it a listen. It's called Rush by Trois
of On. I've seen him in concert so many times. Me and Billy went and saw him when competitors
opened for him. I think I actually saw him twice on that tour and competitors opened for him.
Obviously both, um, yeah. That was where I went to my first date with my ex-boyfriend. We went to
the competitors' choice of on concert. And it was just so fun. I love it. I love him. And you guys
should go give it a listen. Anyways, today's episode, we are going to be chatting about
things that I would die for. And let's not take it so literally because I ain't dying for
shit because I love my life and I like to be alive and I like to be breathing. But let's just
have some fun with it, okay? It's a can't be sang. Like, oh my gosh, I would die for that or I
would die for you. So the things that I could die for or the things that I would die for,
you know, it's going to be a range. And I'm excited to take you on this journey with me. I just
thought it would be a fun little Friday episode to chat about things that we're obsessed with.
Or I keep saying we, but it's me because there's no one here with me. It's ever you. We're having
our own conversation together, okay? I'm feeling cool, cool. Anyways, okay. So let's just get into it.
First, the first thing I would die for, the song Clarity by Z.
If all I love is tragedy, why are you my Clarity?
That is hands down. The best song I've ever heard. The absolute artistry
the absolute vibes. The serotonin rush in my brain when that song presses play. And the way
that I have seen that song live probably about four times. And every single time it gets better.
Like at ADC, I just saw him perform it. The first time I saw it was one of the first festivals I
went to with Billy over New Year's, like forever ago. I've seen him at Coachella a million times.
Just like, wow, it is the perfect encapsulation. Like that song is the encapsulation of how I feel
out of festival or like the actual complete rush of serotonin that I get when you book a great job.
You are with your best, you reunite with your best friend after a few years or after
not seeing him for a while. Like that song. And maybe because like it just like I feel so much
nostalgia for it. But truly, truly, truly, gun to my head or I'm in prison. Well, why would I be
in prison? Whatever. I'm so bad at like getting metaphors or like painting up a situation. But
I'm about to die. I'm on life alert. Is that the right thing? Life, life alert, is that life support?
I'm on life support. They say we're about to unplug in five minutes. What do you want to play?
I'm saying clarity by Z. And I'm saying everybody out of the room. Everybody out of the room press play.
And I'm going to just sail away into the abyss. Wow.
My next thing that I would die for. And I need everyone to get on the same page with me here.
I need everyone to to hear me out. Actually, you don't even need to hear me out because you
should be on the same page with me the second I say this. I would die for a vodka penny pasta.
And I'm not joking bitch. I am not joking bitch. I would die for about last meal last meal.
Go to the head. I'm on life support. Last meal. You got you got five minutes.
clarity by Zed is playing hurry. What do you want to eat? Vodka penny pasta.
It slaps every time. You got a cheap one. Delicious. At Newton's and company. Delicious.
You got an expensive one. Delicious. You got authentic vodka penny pasta in Italy.
Delicious. Olive Garden. Look, it is good. No matter where you get it. It's good.
Guess what? I don't even cook. I don't even cook. But guess what? I could even cook a killer
vodka penny pasta. And by cooking, I mean, I can get the jar of vodka, vodka sauce,
I tried to chose and I could cook the noodles and I could put them together in a pan.
But even that hits. Even that version of vodka penny pasta hits. Something about it.
I don't even know what it is. I don't want to know. Oh, oh, and to add to that.
A vodka risotto?
They have the best vodka risotto. Actually, I think I might make it myself.
We'll not make it, but I don't know if it's actually on the menu, but I think I just
know. I don't know. I don't know. There is risotto at this place at the grove called
lapiza or lapiza or something. I don't know. I'm not Italian. I don't know how to pronounce it.
But it's this place at the grove right across from the palins and you get a, I think it comes with
pink sauce or maybe I request that. No, it's shrimp risotto. Risotto was shrimp in it and pink vodka
sauce and you get a shit ton of crushed red pepper in it. So it's like spicy. That would be my last
meal. I'll screw the penny. Screw the penny. It doesn't even matter. Here's the thing. The, the,
the, what do I think you got? The vehicle in which the vodka sauce gets from my bowl into my
mouth, whether that vehicle, whether it be attached to a risotto or whether it be attached to a
penny noodle, that is beside the point. I need crushed red pepper and vodka sauce and either
risotto or a penny or a spaghetti. I don't care what the vodka noodle is. I don't care if it's
risotto. I don't care. I could probably eat it raw, but just a spoon. Vodka sauce with crushed red
pepper. Oh, it's so good. It's so good and I might have to go get that tonight. It is a little
bit expensive. I normally go and just get it for takeout, but it is like a $32 risotto. But,
bitch, I don't care. It's delicious. It is delicious. The next thing that I would try,
the next thing that I would try, dry. Am I okay? Am I okay? The next thing that I would die for.
I'm going to put into two different or two different, I'm going to put two movies into the same
category. My last day on earth, I get a squeeze in the song, I get a squeeze and clear it by zed,
and that's not long enough to eat my risotto, wish shrimp and vodka, penny pasta with crushed red
pepper. So whoever is in charge of making me satisfied on my last day says you're going to choose
two movies to watch and eat this risotto. What do you got? Bridesmaids and pitch perfect.
Now, y'all might be laughing at that because pitch perfect. Some people hate, some people love.
I personally would die for it. I am told if I can't sing it, what are they saying?
What's that song? What's the song by the bellas? I've had a new life. I can hardly recognize me. I'm so
da da da da da da. Like me, care for you. I saw the signs and it opened up. I saw the signs. Wow!
That is a musical masterpiece. It is a comedic gold, the acting, the casting, spectacular,
Anna Kendrick. I met her fashion week. Nice. It's got a life. So sweet to me. So nice. I have a
selfie with her. I was wearing the most atrocious leather jacket. But a leopard blue button up,
that was from Perfect 21. That I thought was appropriate to wear the New York fashion week.
I went with Amber Filler up and she was probably humiliated that I asked for a selfie with Anna Kendrick
when I went to this showing with her. But I don't care because that movie is gold. It's so good.
It's like that pitch perfect is the definition of camp. Meaning it's almost satire. Whether they
meant it to be or not. It is. Oh my gosh. Like Fat Amy. The fact that they even have a character
called Fat Amy and the fact that was probably like the tail end of movies in which that would be
deemed appropriate in today's society. You can't have a character. You can't have a character
to call Fat Amy because because the woke liberals. No, like it's just so good. I would watch it so much
at my grandparents house with my cousins growing up that my grandma would literally throw it away.
Like she would get so sick of it that she would throw the DVD away and we'd have to bring
anyone to my grandma's house. Like we were dick dead. It's just so good. And then that leads me
into Pride Spades. Same kind of time period I believe with the comedies. Pride Spades is literally
probably the funniest movie I've ever seen. The shit in industry. The lemonade when she gets it
and she's driving the car and she is like disgusted that the guy even gave a tour and then she takes
a sip and she goes oh shit that's fresh. Oh Helen knows the owner. Me and Jose probably quote that
once a day. Literally once a day. We it is just so good. I'm going to France y'all. Like there are
so many quotable things from that movie and the casting is just amazing. The way it's filmed is so
amazing. I feel like I've talked about this before but the way that they film movies these days just
feels so cheap and tacky and like the timing of the jokes don't hit. Everything feels like it
was filmed on a tripod. So it feels like way too staged. Right. It was like the last like romcom slash
comedy like big blockbuster movie. I feel like I saw where like it was good and I had this like
sense of like almost like nostalgia for it even while I was watching it just feels like it feels like
a early 2000s movie but wait was it. Anyways it just like really is gold and it's so timeless
and it's still the test of time. It's still hilarious. I can watch it literally today and still
Pima fans laughing when she's shitting the sink. It's coming out of me like lava. Oh it's so good.
I would literally die for those two movies. The next thing that I would die for and this might
take you guys by surprise because I like to fake it until I make an act like I'm a chic mother
effort on the grand and traveling and just all of these things but I would truly die for a hobby lobby
and I mean that literally. I love hobby lobby. Hobby lobby, Michaels, Joanne, all of those stories.
As you guys heard from the first episode who is Ty Franch of this podcast if you guys are
original tyrant. My first job was at Michaels and there was a lot of lobby lobby across the street
and literally I'm just obsessed. I'm obsessed with crafts, scrapbooking, picture frames,
like home decor, little knick knacks, like wall letters, signs like oh my gosh obviously
don't have that now like that stuff now but the amount of like inner peace and healing and
nostalgia I have for like a hobby lobby or a Michaels or crafts and Joanne's anything like it
truly brings me so much joy like so much joy. I don't like shopping in person for clothes really
at all unless I'm in goobgy like don't don't get me wrong if I'm in goobgy or if I'm proud of
don't share your grubana I'ma be having some fun shopping but I don't like to just walk
around Zara or anything however I literally could walk around hobby lobby for hours and leave
without anything just for fun just for fun during Christmas time oh the ordinance I could look at
every ornament in that store 10 times and still be interested when I lived in Utah I know
with my grandparents there was a hobby lobby like right behind their house and I would just walk
over and just just wander just have fun just see what's up see what's new they always have new
stuff and they always have a sale they always have a sale something's like a certain categories
always like 40% off and you know I was taking that paycheck from Michaels and I was going straight
to the sale section I would leave with my paycheck from Michaels with picture frames I would leave
with scrapbook shit new paint to paint my dresser like just the randomest stuff I am obsessed I
really am and honestly like I feel like my style has elevated from like a hobby lobby esque shit
but I can quickly fall down the rabbit hole if you put me in a hobby lobby I will come home
with a live laugh love sign I really will I really will I will convince myself that I'm bringing it
back and that it's cute and that I need it I I will leave with with a whole fake flower arrangement
I'll be making a Christmas wreath for my door like I am just obsessed with everything in there
truly truly the next thing that I would dive for a sunset summer let me paint a picture let me
let me let me let me let me I can't talk let me paint a picture for you it's a summer it's it's
it's sunset you're at the beach Odessa is playing on a speaker nearby you are with your friends
there's a pizza involved there's a salad involved there is either alcoholic beverages wine or
die coke involved some some form of beverage you're dancing you're dancing to Odessa the sunsets going
down you're on the beach you're having a ball of time you just ate pizza oh what are you gonna
do you run into the ocean you take a sunset dip you're you're swimming you can't touch the ground
you're swimming you're seeing waves just go up and down as the sun is bright orange
going down below them the hills of Malibu you're with your friends you're laughing you can still
hear Odessa back back on the shore I would die I would die for moments like that literally
I can't think of a better day I can't think of a better evening and I can't freaking wait
to get my sweet little ass over to Venice so that I can have those moments almost daily
at least once a week maybe twice a week we like my crew Taza Mary we used to do that so much more
like during COVID we did that so much and it was like literally just the best of times I can't
even think of a better way to spend my evening or to spend a night and wow I just I that's
like literally my ideal perfect night with friends and I can't wait to be over by the beach
the next thing that I would die for is the real housewives on bravo quotes and let me give you a few
examples of the who gonchak me boo by Shirei Whitfield of real housewives of Atlanta um you're
supposed to be my best friend my soul my best sister the gigamble set in Brawl Housewives of Orange
County prostitution horror engaged 19 times treat you guys real housewives of New Jersey
there is little goodbye Kyle can Lisa Vanna from husband from the real housewives of Beverly Hills
these are this is vernacular these are quotes these are saying that I say almost daily it's so
ingrained into who I am and into my everyday vocabulary that if you have never seen housewives
you might think I'm a freak you truly probably think I'm a freak like the amount of times I've had
to explain to Taza or to JC or to you know someone I'm talking to that like I'll say something
and they're looking me kind of crazy and I'm like oh do you not know what that's from
and then it just ruins the joke then I have to you know do I have to look up the video I have to look
up the meme but if you it's one of those things that if you know you know and the gaze the gaze are
the best at this if I were in a situation say and it's fitting for me to say Lisa Rina like in
amp-train don't you ever go after my husband breaking the glass if we're in a situation and I
feel like you're attacking me I would say that you know and I would you know signal as if I'm
breaking a glass and then the good thing about being a homosexual or having a friend who is
just as well versed in that then you immediately go into role play then you immediately go into
a full-on acting scene you are on Broadway you are being filmed the cameras are up we do the whole
scene we were excited to start to finish if I start and say you know we could be in the middle of
conversation I feel like you're attacking me I say don't you ever go after my husband and then
that person immediately goes let's not talk about what you don't want out camera church
real housewives of Beverly Hills it's just there's really nothing better and I would die for those
pictures I would die for the real housewives I'll ever say one of them even the ones that I don't
like because guess what I hate watch yep that's right you heard me you heard me every every housewife
that I've ever talked to you about I still love them and I would still watch them I watched the
bad seasons I watched the good seasons I watched every iteration of them I love them they're the best
and I am so thankful that my friend Kim Zolziak got me interested in watching the real housewives
because before I met her I'd never seen any of them and then you know I met her me and Breelle
her daughter became besties and I was like I gotta see what this is all about okay I gotta see
why you guys are famous and boy was my life ever changed and that's just like gay history you know
you just have to watch there's nothing worse or more annoying than when someone's like oh I don't
watch the real housewives and they say it as if it's a badge of honor it's like gays when they're like
oh I don't I don't watch RuPaul's Drag Race I'm like uh okay you don't get a medal for like not
keeping up with queer culture okay in fact you're giving homophobic the next thing that I would
dive for and I'm really gonna need you guys to to use your brain and picture the texture the taste
the look of what I'm about to say a Kebler elf witch do you know what that is a Kebler ELF
fudge elf witch now if you don't know what that is it's that little cracker that looks like an
elf there's two elves and in between sandwiched is fudge chocolate almost like an Oreo but the cracker
is like vanilla and in the middle is fudge chocolate the way my mouth is watering right now
is scary and should be studied because just the mere thought of a Kebler elf witch makes me wet
in my panties they are so delicious they are so nostalgic and it's one of those things that
isn't that every grocery store you know I cash off a trade of Joe's I can get that there
they don't have that at my local CVS they don't have that at uh I don't even know where I would get
that I would have to go to forget Walmart and guess what that's far so there's such a nostalgic
feeling for it because it's something that I don't see or I get but every now and then I have a
craving I have a craving for a Kebler elf witch and that craving is now that moment is right now
I want that Kebler elf witch immediately in my stomach if you guys have no idea what I'm talking
about you need to google a Kebler elf witch and I promise you guys have heard a bit you know it
you probably haven't had it since you were literally six years old and honestly neither have I
but I think about it from time to time that leads me into the next thing that I would die for
the discontinued outtoids mango sours the outtoids little sour candies like the outtoids um
tangerine sours the little outtoid like they came in a little metal tin they different flavors they
were all kind of sour I don't know why they were discontinued they probably had some form of
poison microplastics cocaine I don't know what was in them or why they got discontinued
but the grip that those had on me when I was growing up the citrus ones the apple ones
I'm going to need to know why they were discontinued let me let me see if it says on the internet
because oh my gosh they've been discontinued for 15 years wow I am really really old um
the tart taste the cute tin the citrus shape the rattle it made when you took them out of the bag
I can hear my friends asking me for one and then another eventually eating me out of the house
and what that's a good eating me out that's a good twist I'm reading a Buzzfeed article right now um
there's not a lot eBay for a lot of money which is actually crazy and maybe I need to save up to
purchase but it's not telling me why they were up out there's not for a thousand dollars
but excuse me they expired in 2005 so I don't know if that's that's going to be good
the out oh my gosh they're so good wait why is it not telling me anyways I don't know why they were
discontinued I don't even want to know because it's going to take my my memory of them if you have
no idea what I'm talking about you need to look them up you need to look up did the discontinued
outtoids candy I would immediately have that for dessert after my um
kebler outfit and my vodka pen and pasta or my risotto immediately that's going to lead me into
what the next thing that I would die for the next thing I would die for is jacket the box when
you're drunk when I am drunk when I go home from the bars every single time no matter what I'll
be ordering a jacket box because what is so good about checking the box you're gonna order tacos
you can order burgers and you can order onion rings and you can also order a chocolate cake
they've got everything they have got everything I think they even have trolls they literally have
everything oh oh you want a taco oh well let me get taco bell oh but you're also craving a burger
you also craving a hamburger so let me get McDonald's open them also craving a taco open them also
craving a chocolate cake let me go to milk oh but they don't have food they don't have food
no jacket the box jacket boxes one stop shop jacket boxes one stop shop for when you're drunk
it's late they're open until oh oh sorry what was that they're open 24 hours up in these streets
I don't know about you in your local community but in my local community they're open 24 hours
so you get home late you get home late and guess what you're going to jog in box and you're
getting six tacos here's my order you get six tacos they come in pairs of two you get six tacos
you get two burgers I said that word you get two burgers six tacos a thing the onion rings and if
you're really drunk you're definitely getting the chocolate lava cake and here's the thing
because you need something sweet you need something with a little hot sauce that's what the tacos
for and you need burgers because there's more carbs in that so it's really going to satisfy you
it's going to fill you up if you just get the tacos that's not a lot of substance that is going
to soak up all the booze you know you need the bread from the bun to really soak up all the booze
so you're not that hung over the next day and then you got the sweet little tree at the end oh
within the onion rings that's where you get the crunch okay that's where you get the crunch
and also I love onions okay so I am disgusting I am disgusting my mouth is watering so bad
the way that all my things that I've died for are just food and things that are just
careful before me um anyways anyways the next thing that I would die for P&E season at Trader Joe's
name a better time of year guess what better the Christmas better than Thanksgiving better than
Halloween P&E season I walk in a Trader Joe's bam surprise P&E's everywhere P&E's everywhere
and I'm coming home with $5 a bunch they're probably a little bit more expensive $5 because
they're P&E's there might be $12 a bunch I don't know but P&E's normally if you go to like a
regular florist you're looking at $40 for a bunch of 12 or a bouquet of P&E's I know because
they worked in the wedding industry but something about just getting fresh P&E's from am I saying
you're right P&E's P&E's I think it's P&E's is that how Blair said it in Gossip Girl I don't
know don't make fun of me if I'm saying it wrong but tomato tomato there's just nothing better
there's such a better than fresh flowers at your house truly truly not even I guess it doesn't
have to be P&E's but that I was getting specific but just fresh flowers from Trader Joe's honestly
fresh flowers at all fresh flowers in general in your home there's nothing better it just makes
your whole home come alive it makes your house smell good it just makes me feel good it makes me look
good and I'm ready to party oh with the best of friends and we're gonna go down to the river
see right things quote right things quote they come in all the time all the time into my brain I love it
the next thing that I would tie for the essence end of the year 80% off sale now when I tell you
that pretty much 95% of the things in my closet to this day are from the essence end of the year 80
percent off sale because here's what I do I don't buy nothing throughout the year nothing
nothing expensive like maybe I'll get some of the thrusters or like if I have a bar a party or
an event or whatever but I'm not buying clothes I treat that shit like school shopping okay I wait
until the end of the year and I just go all in at one time of the year and I go to essence.com
until they have their huge sale and I go to the sale section and I click on discount high to low
and I will only purchase something if it is 80% off if it's not 80% off I'm not buying bitch I want
to get the most luxury item for the cheapest price I possibly can every designer item that I've
pretty much ever bought has been on 80% off at the essence sale because once you get a taste
once you get a little taste of that sale let's get a taste of that 80% off once you get a taste of
that today shipping you ain't never going back you ain't never gonna spend full price on a designer
item again when you get it for 80% off with today's free shipping I'm telling you I'm telling you
so I I I have an addiction I have an addiction it's like an outlet it's like you go and the
I don't sometimes I get shit that I don't even like just because it's 80% off because it's normally
a thousand dollars and I'm getting it for two hundred bucks or it's only two hundred dollars and I'm
getting it for like twenty dollars it is literally such a rush the high I get the adrenaline I feel
and then I get a whole new wardrobe all designer items and only spend like a thousand bucks two thousand
bucks at that new year and that is the only time that I go shopping this year I didn't do it because
I've been a little tied on the cash I spent all that money getting this damn podcast equipment
for you little tyrants but I'm hoping I'm hoping by the end of this year I can be divulging and get
some essence 80% off sale the next thing that I would die for is let me paint a picture let me
paint a picture you go in you're in high school you're in high school you go into school you go
to science class or chemistry whatever whatever your class is you walk in you sit down you get out
your binder as if to start taking notes and in walks the teacher with the with with the dolly
with a little with a little cart with wheels on it with a television on the dolly
and prices play on Bill Nye the science guy whoa it's gonna be a good day in class today it is gonna
be a good day at school I'm gonna get some extra sleep I'm about to be entertained I'm a laugh
I'm putting this binder away that is for damn sure because I'm not taking no notes and I'm just
I'm just here to relax I'm here to be entertained I'm here to chat with my friends I'm like text
I'm gonna have it all the time there's nothing better than watching a teacher roll that little dolly
in with a television and you go oh yeah oh yeah I'm not doing shit and I'm probably not gonna
have homework I'm probably not gonna have homework so I'm thriving I'm thriving not only right now
in this class I'm gonna have them when I get my house home because I ain't got no science homework
and even if I do got a science homework it's probably gonna be easy because it's gonna be talking
about what I watch on Bill Nye the science guy which is bird entertaining I'm loving him lately
on the TikTok he he's having a big resurgence I feel like I love Bill Nye except for he does
really think that the world's gonna end soon which it probably is but oh then a stout I feel for
that that the thing that I would do to feel the rush of just watching the teacher pull that in and
just knowing oh shit it's about to be a good day it's about to be a good day I wish I wish I could
go back in that moment and feel that I really do the next thing that I would die for is Rihanna's
Met Gala look the big yellow dress China through the looking glass Chinese couture made by Gua Pei
if I'm saying that incorrectly I probably am you guys know I am go pay Gua Pei G-U-O-P-E-I anyways
handmade by her by one woman and it took her two years to make that dress that train and guess what
Rihanna just found it online it wasn't even made to her it wasn't even made for Rihanna literally
found it online and hit her up and was like I gotta wear this and let me tell you that's history
mama that is his to Rihanna that is fashion hindus and am I okay that's fashion history that's
pop culture history that's American history I think that moment is what made the Met Gala mainstream
for the masses like for me and like people that didn't care about the Met Gala all the sun were
carrying all the sun were chatting about it because that was just like the moment obviously people
that like love pop culture or whatever like cared about the Met Gala before that but I truly do
think like that's the first memory that I really have of the Met Gala like that was just so iconic
Rihanna is such a bad bitch bad gallery re the way she is printing her little son that little chicken nugget
around these streets of Paris New York everything oh I just love I feel like celebrities especially as
that caliber like Kylie Jenner Beyonce Katy Perry well they're gonna have crumbs crumbs of their
children she is posting him and all the cutest designer looks all their vacations we're getting
pop paparazzi of her left and right she is feeding the children she is feeding us it is so iconic I
love it I just love that she doesn't try and hide him and I respect I don't think one is better than
the next like obviously I want to see more but like I fully respect celebrities not choosing to
maybe photograph themselves but also have their children to be photographed like I think that
that is 100% your right and I think that's probably how you should do it honestly like I don't
think anyone really should post their kids online or you know I don't know there I can go back and
forth but since she's doing it I'm gonna take it I'm gonna accept it I'm gonna set this invitation
to look at this cute little chicken nugget and just go over him because he's cutest thing I've
ever seen and I can't wait to find out if she's having a boy or girl next and what they're gonna
look like and oh just the outfits the fashion the everything I'm like oh and he you know he's
already a billionaire that kid is richer than I will ever be but guess what I would die for him
and I would die for her not gonna look anyways the next thing that I would die for a roller skating
rink a roller skating rink as you guys heard from my 25th birthday I rented out moonlight rollaway
the Kardashians copied me and they you know did a music video there as well and whatever I'm not
salty about it but I grew up going to what the roller skating rink in or a mutaw called a classic
skating every single Thursday on dollar night every single Thursday we would sometimes go twice
a week me and my siblings there were six of us it was so expensive to do anything as a group and
we just did not get along at all but we all loved to skate and we could technically walk to the
roller skating rink from my house so we'd walk there all the time or just get like quickly dropped
off it was one dollar night now if you've been lately like now it's like a madhouse and they expanded
and they've like bouncy houses and all this stuff no no no no when I was a kid it was real it was
authentic it looked like I had them in touch since the 80s the 90s and there was just a rink there
was a few arcade games and let me tell you I don't really have much memories of like my elementary school
days but classic skating that shit raised me I was raised on that rink that rink raised me I was
raised in those skates I was out here just school and bitches on that rink that was like
just the music that would play the the games that they would play they had like dice on the rink
and you'd play like blackout you would do this this what was it called this snowflake dance or
the snow dance something where it was like couples like all the boys would line up on one side all
the girls would line up the other side and would be either be like boys pick or girls pick
and you'd have to like skate over and like find someone to ask to go on to skate with and hold
their hand when I tell you I was out here going on going on dates on this rink with people I never
met you you would stay on the side and someone would just skate up to you if they thought you were
cute and you would have to skate around with them the entire song holding their hand and I did
that I did that with some of these bitches some of these bitches I must have a giving straight
energy because I never did it with a boy but I was definitely out there doing it with some girls
haha most of the time it was my girl cousins okay but no there were some times there were some
times where I got brisky and ask a girl or a girl asked me and guess what we never talked again
after that you go yelled hands you go around the rink the song ends you break off you never speak
to each other but it was a big deal because it was a big deal if you didn't get picked talk about
being picked last in PE class oh if you are picked or not picked um on the roller skating rink
in front of your whole family your siblings your cousins that's embarrassing that is more
fine or there would be times where like your cousin would be like okay I'm gonna pick you I'm
gonna pick you all come up and then and then she would get picked by someone else before I got
the chance to pick her and it'll be skating by myself and I have no one that's humiliating but
anyways I would die for roller skating rink like I that is like just one of my favorite activities
on my birthday when I rented it out I had to buy a new shirt after I had to buy a shirt there
before we went out anywhere because I was sweating so much because I was just having so much fun
and I was just laughing around it I'm actually pretty good I'm excited to move to Venice and be
skating up and down that boardwalk the next thing that I would die for is no air by Jordan Sparks
and Chris and I know that Chris Brown is problematic but that can't take away from the fact that no
air raised me how do you expect me to live alone with just me because my world revolves around you
but so hot for me guys of a terrible singer but that song just when that comes on oh oh oh let me
tell you let me tell you the vocal worms up I'm turning to a I'm a boy and a girl I'm a boy
and a girl the way I'm two I'm two time in that I'm doing both parts and I'm I'm out of breath after
I might lose my voice after I were I see that song that song is one of the best songs I've ever heard
of my entire life I'm so sorry I'm sorry to say but the next thing that I would die for is off-roading
at the sand dunes that might come as a shock to you guys become just I'm just a little little
gay boy in West Hollywood California but trust me you can be in a sand dunes I'm ready to rage
I turn into a boy scout of America I turn into a uh a mag 11
no literally like I grew up going on the sand dunes and they are just so freaking fun and I went
um a few years ago with my family over new years and I took the top off a rear of the Wrangler
and I would just go out by myself blasting Lady Gaga and Rita Rita was going up and down
them sand hills like nothing she was having a ball of a time I was blasted Lady Gaga I was by
myself doors off tops off it was amazing it was amazing and I need to be going soon immediately
I need to be going with the gaze I need to bring the gaze of the dunes because I feel like they
would have an amazing time I need to bring cocoa to the dunes here bring the whole I need to bring
everyone to the dunes matter fact where's everybody from if you know you know um the next thing
that I would die for is my veneers my veneers if those ever came out guess what put me six feet
under you might as well put me six feet under because I don't want to go nowhere also if they came
out yeah I would have to get new ones because I would literally have no teeth because they
shaved my teeth down but if you guys didn't know my front top six teeth are veneers shocker shocker
and it was the best it should never made it was the best it should never made and my smile is
stunning and I can say that without feeling cocky because I did not make them Dr. Scott Harris and
Arizona did and he is the best and you guys need to go to him if you ever want veneers because he
is literally the best but without like my teeth were good before they don't look that different if
I show you before and after you're probably going to be like uh there's not that big of a difference
but it made like the littlest differences made the biggest difference and it just gave me so much
confidence and every since then I've just been so obsessed with my smile and I need to be smiling
more and pictures these days I've been telling myself that but my veneers I'm dying for them
I love that shit and I don't care if people think I look fake I'd go faker and hopefully one day
I can get a full set because it also guys every celebrity ever that you like has veneers the
weekend candle Jenner probably can grab like everyone every celebrity has veneers not to put me
in the same caliber as celebrity but you know what one day one day anyways the next thing that I
would die for is Charlotte Tilbury bronzer without Charlotte Tilbury bronzer I'd be out here in these
streets looking like snow white I would be out here in these streets looking like I work for
in Antarctica I'd be out here in these streets looking like ho ho ho my Christmas my name is Santa
Claus any bronzer and specifically the Charlotte Tilbury bronzer I used to use the Tom Ford bronzer
way back in the day my ex showed it to me but here's the thing they just continued it and that was
the worst day of my life except for it was also the best day of my life because then that led me to
find and discover Charlotte Tilbury's bronzer I think it's called like airbrush bronzer or something
and mama to say hairbrush y'all are I was asking my skin technique or whatever I'm telling you
this airbrush foundation bicks with the house labs foundation I'm glowing I'm bronzed I'm beautiful
the skin is skinning I take that off and I'm out here looking like Shrek okay I'm not joking bitch
speaking of I would also die for Shrek and you guys already know that but specifically Shrek 2
Shrek 2 when they returned to far far away to meet the owner's parents and
and and and and and and Shrek it takes some potion to turn into a human and then I said to you
know that figures way out and find Fiona and then turn back into an ogre because he realizes that
he's really wants to be an ogre a heart and Fiona also wants to be an ogre wow cinema cinema talk
about a cinematic masterpiece that is one trilogy that like the the second one is better than the
first I love I love Shrek and Jose is my donkey Jose is the donkey to my Shrek and I love that
little donkey the next thing that I would die for is Beyonce's Coachella performance now this
shouldn't be a surprise to anyone because you guys know I love Beyonce you guys know I love
Beyonce and I've talked about this Coachella performance many times that if you guys weren't there
I'm a very sorry for you and you can watch it on Netflix it's called homecoming and I highly
suggest watching it is one of the best cinematic live performances I've ever seen and
you like I was there in person and the the documentary of the Netflix special perfectly encapsulated
how it felt to actually be there like I remember screaming out when she came out that this was
the second coming of Christ now you guys know I don't really believe in Christ and I'm not religious
but that's how spiritual I felt in that moment it was so insane and I really do feel like it will
be it will go down in history as like one of the best live performances like of our generation
like people are going to be watching that documentary for years to come it should be a study
in music school and performers of like just how much time and dedication and meaning went into
every single detail of that performance and obviously when we watched it like it was just an
iconic performance and she was serving but then to like see the behind the scenes and the rehearsing
and the details of like what everything meant and like the like what she was you know what story
she was trying to tell with it is so iconic and I just love that me and beyond to our friends now
and that I got to go hang out with her in Paris and I'm gonna bring it up that's one thing I'm
gonna find a way to bring it up every single episode sorry sorry about it I'm going to find a way
to bring it up every single episode the last thing that I'm going to say that I would die for
is RuPaul just in general RuPaul's Drag Race in general but specifically RuPaul's music catalog
RuPaul has one of the best music catalogs that is so campy and so crazy cuckoo that's it's
it's like that it makes it so amazing like his songs upon the first listen you would think okay this
is a joke or this is campy and it's like super gay and whatever there must be crack cocaine in there
because every single song it just makes me want to pop my pussy every single song gives me such
Sarah's tone and so much joy makes me so happy to be queer like every song supermodel I mean
obviously it's like the oldest one and it's just iconic but then you know we've got like I am
American American red wide and blue what else do we got what else do we got I mean he has a song
with my ex iris catatude can I'm an attitude duh duh duh duh what what else does he got what else is
in there um um whatever I can't think of my mouth on top of my head but if you guys don't know
listen RuPaul I suggest you go do so we got it because it is iconic and he's legend and I love him
did I have anything else I have actually a lot like I have a bigger list of things but
we're kind of running out of time for today's episode so let me know if you guys like this episode
and I can do another episode like this of things that I would die for and maybe next time
we narrow it down to a category maybe movies I would die for songs I would die for food I would
die for snacks I'd die for because today's was kind of just all over the place but I could do one
even just for movies like that's how many movies I feel passionately about I could do it just
I could do it just based off of fucking vodka penny pasta I could give you a whole hour long
episode just about the damn vodka penny risotto from the grub at La Piazza which I need to go get
immediately anyways this episode was so much fun I feel so kooky and crazy and hungry for some
expired altruites but I love you guys so much I hope you guys have the most amazing Friday I hope
you guys have the most amazing safe weekend I can't wait to tell you all about my fly boarding
experience with Jose that I'm doing tomorrow morning on Wednesday's episode next week and I can't
wait to move this weekend I'll tell you all about that on next week's episode but make sure you give
this episode a rating down below give it a review help me out follow at french podcast on instagram
and I'll see you guys on Wednesday love ya thanks for listening and stay tuned for next week