totally random #6

My name is Ty French, and this is my podcast. That's what it's called. Ty French Podcasts. Ty French Podcasts. Ty French Podcasts. Ty French Podcasts. Ty French Podcasts. Ty French Podcasts. Hello, hello, hello and welcome back. To the Ty French Podcast. My name is Ty French, and this is my podcast. And that's why it's called the Ty French Podcast. Today we have the one, the only, the iconic, the skinny, the gorgeous, the legend, the gay of your dreams. Jose Figueroa. Woo, woo, keep going. Keep going. You're not done. Keep complementing me. The ugly, the annoying, the better, the frustrating. Here we are. The truth comes out. Oh, hello, hello, hello. I'm happy to be back. What's up? Give the little tyrants a life update. Give them maybe a peek into your experience in Guadalajara with your best friend. Oh, one that you still have not posted any of the photos. Well, yes. Again, wow, I can't believe it's been a month since we did this. Last, wow, time flies. Time just flies when you're having fun. I can't believe we're already halfway through the year. It's insane. No, the fact that it's July deserves jail time because the sun just came out one day ago. Literally. We just had our first official beach hangout. Literally, I feel like it's like May. No. Literally July. Literally, I'm like, oh, so it's 4th of July and you're just now starting to say hello, Mr. Sun. Okay, thank you. It's not okay. No, it's definitely not. Sorry, I had to. Quick pause. I had to reach down to grab his drink, his beverage, because he's drinking on a Tuesday, and just so you know, you're so resistant or a tie-french. She's still going strong. I'm still going strong. Well, I mean, going strong. It's been seven days. It's been since one of the horror. No. No, no, no, no. You've drank since. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The tarons know that, but I haven't drank for a week. Because, guys, I don't know if I talked about this on the podcast. But I got strapped throat. Because, you know, I was raging a little too hard. I went hard on one weekend. And I thought I had strapped throat before. And I went to urgent care. And they were like, no, like we did a strapped test. You don't have strapped throat. But they did a, like they gave me a Z-pack. Because I'm allergic to a Mox sillin. So they were like, whatever. Just take a Z-pack. And like, if you have something like it'll kill it, whatever. But me being dumb, they told me that I didn't have it. So then, even though I was on the Z-pack, I was like, well, I'm just going to drink then this weekend. If I'm fine. Right. And then I drank for the five days. And they called me on Monday. And they were like, oh, you actually do have strapped throat. It just didn't show up in like, it's like a different strain of strapped throat or whatever. So like, it only showed up in the lab results. So, you know, let's just say the Z-pack didn't do anything. So then they had to give me something else. And like, because I'm allergic to Mox sillin, which is like what they normally give you, if you have strapped or anything. I have to take this medication that I have to take three times a day with a meal and it gives me diarrhea. So not diarrhea. That's been a lovely week for me. Wow. That's insane. So that just, you know, made me be like, okay, I got a, I got a, I got a way to drink ton of all these. But I knew that you were allergic to Mox sillin, but I didn't know they had an alternative to a Z-pack, which interesting, I mean, I guess. Well, it's not really like, I don't know. I don't know about it all. Every time I go in, they shouldn't have it figured out now. And the girl gave me a referral to like a ENT because she was like, how often do you get strapped? And I was like, every time I drink. Right. Like, every time I have a big weekend, if I'm out like drinking Friday Saturday Sunday, I get strapped throat or bronchitis. So you're just a walking incubus of strapped throat. So I'm like, man, take them tonsils out. Oh yeah, they can do that. Yeah, put me under the knife. Right. So that's why she gave me a referral. But I don't know, you only get that as an adult if you have it like literally like three or like five times a year. But I'm like, just take them out. Yeah. Oh my God, I don't eat them. No. So just take them out. Little kids get them taken out. Why not? Yeah. Why not me? Yeah, why not? Yeah. Why did little kids could have all the fun? Take them out. Make my throat skin there. Right. You're in there. Just shave off a little my G. No, literally take out some buckle fat while you're in there. Well, wait, you didn't give a life up. I am going to give it to life up date. Here we are. So yeah, I went to Wadala Hara with... Is that how you say it? Wadala Hara. Wadala Hara, the G silent. Yes, the G is very silent. Wadala Hara. Y'all, that's why I bring a local onto the podcast. Now you can't make fun of me up in the reviews that I mispronounce things, okay? Because I bring a local on to teach. There you go. Wadala Hara. Wadala Hara. Fun fact, though. I mean, you love Wadala Hara. Oh, no. I'm literally getting a visa. I'm moving. And you actually really loved it. And actually, it was so much fun going with you. I'm surprised you bigly talked about my Spanish speaking on your last episode. Because he doesn't know how to speak Spanish, you guys. He's a fake. He's a fraud. He swears I don't speak Spanish. But, y'all, I am fluid in Spanish. He says he knows how to speak Spanish. And then I'll be like, oh, what is Rosalía singing in the song? And he's like, I don't know. I'm like, well, listen, bitch. She's speaking Spanish. She's speaking a... That buddy song? He don't know what the hell he's saying. No, it's too fast for me to keep up. But no, Wadala Hara was great. We... Like, I'm sure you already told them we spent a week there. Almost a week. Three days. It felt like a week. We did so much stuff. It felt like we were there forever. But it was, honestly, by far, was such a chill, fun weekend, or three days that we went. Like, I had such a blast. Like, and you're one year old and why's our two? Oh, there you go. No, but we did have... I mean, yes. I got to celebrate my birthday on a flight back, which was really, really fun. Thanks to the El Tizoro team for putting us first class. I know you mentioned this before, but we're stunning. They sang Happy Birthday to me on the plane. That was super sweet. I don't know if I mentioned that. Did I? No. The flight attendant wouldn't shut up. The whole time, like, she talked on the speaker, literally, like, the whole time about how it was Jose's birthday on the flight. It was actually quite nice. It was hilarious. It was nice. So that was obviously a cute little perk of my birthday. Yeah. For someone that actually, as a Gemini, I don't plan my birthday, which is so not a Gemini thing. Oh, as a Gemini. Well, it's not a Gemini thing. Gemini's usually our extra about their birthday. But really? Yeah, they celebrate the whole birthday month, which I hate. I mean, you basically do that. You have a whole fucking parade for your birthday. Well, that's also what I come to terms with. It's like, well, I just let the city of LA plan my birthday. So whatever. It always lands over pride. So it's always just a huge celebration. Yeah. But no. I don't know how it was great. I won't go too much into detail. But Lucia Libre was amazing. So fun. That was still a highlight. And then what else? Honestly, two prides. I mean, knock on wood. Thank God that pride is coming to an end. I feel like I'm straight now on stop. I am straight. I'm part of the heterosexual community. We've been on the move. Don't say gay. Band-track shows. That's how I'm feeling right now. We've been on the move since June 1st, midnight of June 1st. I feel like we've been non-stop. You've been doing more than I have. You know what? I came out of my little shell. Since last time I was on here a few months ago, you called me a boring old hag. Well, I could call you a lot of things. A liar being one of them. But I'm not going to go into that because I don't think you're ready. But let's just know that Jose Celebrating Pride he is a fraud. He is a liar. He's a loser. Oh, stop. And he is a white Republican woman. No, but let's see what else. We went to our first beach hang. That was fun. We went to the beach this weekend. I am a... I am Mr. Krabs. That's how red I am. Yeah. I am so sunburned. My back for the last two days, like trying to sleep. I cannot even like turn around. And trying to loosen your back is a hard place to get to. I can't really get back there. So I'm definitely going to peel. Like I was just starting to peel. That's why if you went to you to watch this, you know, sorry, we're recording it only. I got sunburned. So I'm feeling ugly. And I got another haircut. It's my other haircut. And I need a few days to learn how to silence. So bear with me there. Once I feel cute again, I'll go on YouTube. Yeah. Well, I'm excited. So that's my little life update. I know. Anything else now? Have you been watching any new shows? Oh. Well, you know, what am I watching? I'm watching... What's it called? Tells? Baker? The bear? Bear, yeah. No, I haven't started it yet. But I did watch all of... And you guys... I mean, Ty does the pop repap, which he handles all of the top priorities really well of what's happening in pop culture. Okay. But I love TV. Like... Yeah. Like, I can sit there and I love scripted TV. Okay. So tell us what's off the press. Well, I got to say, I didn't like... And I'd love to hear the tyrants opinion on this. But I did not like the latest season of... Black Mirror. Black Mirror. It just didn't do it for me. I need a tune on in. I started to watch it. And then I might have been preoccupied on a little date. Oh. Well, that's all you're getting for me, little tyrants. I'm glad. Because you didn't miss anything on TV. Oh. I need to watch it. Yeah. So we watched Black Mirror. We just watched no hard feelings in theater. Um... Where was my invite? That was the screening that I went to on Saturday before... He just happened to leave out the name of the title and don't even get me started on Saturday, you little bitch. Jose went to a party that we were supposed to go to together without me. I literally... He tells me he's going to a movie. And I'm like, okay, great. Awesome. I'm waiting for him to get out of this movie. His movie started at six. We're supposed to go to the party at eight. I'm waiting. Wait in. Wait in. In 845 hits. I text him. So I'm assuming we're not going. You already went. I'm at the party. He went to the party. He was like, oh, I didn't think you were going. I'm like, hmm. There was a lot of miscommunication. A lot of miscommunication there. So I just stayed in. We could read the receipt. We have receipts. When we're back on YouTube, I'll pull up the phone. Okay. I'll pull up the... No, but... Yeah, so no hard feelings. Was it good? It's so funny. Jennifer Lawrence is on my list of today's topics. Okay. They'll go deeper. Okay. But it was so funny. And when I say it's like... It's like up there is to want to like my favorite new rom-coms. Like funny. Like, like, like, bridesmaids funny. In a darker way. Like rated R-ish. Like, bridesmaids, I don't think it's rated R. Like, like, American Pie Funny? Yes. Okay. Yes. Like, very American Pie Funny. Like, they don't make movies like this. Okay, okay. Staying tuned. It was so good. And I now understand why they're giving it so much praise. And I'm glad. I mean, honestly, I think maybe I would have a jaded opinion if I would have paid for this movie. This was a so-ho screening for anyone listening. So it was a free screening at so- If anyone's listening, he has a so-ho house. No, I do not. He just wanted to slide that in there. It wasn't a regular movie theater. It was a cool movie theater. No, no, no. But I'm saying if it's like, if you were... Maybe I would have a different opinion if I would have paid for it. But since it was free, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Oh, y'all know I'm cheap. So that's my little life update. We went to the Betsy Johnson Pride party. Oh, that's right. We did go to the Betsy Johnson. It was a little Pride Suarez. We watched Candy Muse perform. Got Mick, our Tulum sister. Who we went to swim with. If you guys listen to the Tulum recap episode, you know, our feelings on that situation. Who else? Vanessa, V&G Mateo perform. Yeah, Ms. Vangy. Who else? Who was the other one? Oh, the MC was not Aquarius. Oh, yeah, Aquarius. Aquarius, the MC, which is the DJ. Which is the DJ, right? Yeah. Was it another performer? No, just the three. And then Betsy Johnson herself, who was... Guys, I told you we went to her birthday party or something. Like, was it last year or two years ago? That? Like, here's the thing. She's a queen. She's an icon. She's been an icon forever. That's just off her rock. Like, she is. She should be a stand-up comedian. But I don't think she's doing it intentionally. Right. And so I don't know if I'm supposed to laugh with her or if I'm laughing at her. But she is just like such a cookie old lady. And like, just doesn't know how to like stop talking. So this MC at this event is just like trying to like introduce her and introduce the queens. And she just like keeps grabbing the mic. And he's like, my granddaughter, she loves these queens. And I love the gaze. And she was getting all their names wrong. She didn't know how to say LGBTQ. Like, it was... Oh, Larry. She goes on tangents, yeah. She's honestly an icon. But two times that I've seen her, I'm like, wow. This is my future in front of me. I need whatever pills she is on, 100%. Yeah. And she's still doing that splits. And she's like 80, whatever. I mean, you know, if I can still spread my legs when I'm that old, I hope I am as well. I can spread them that far. And I'm 26. Right. I'm gonna say 27, but I'm still 26. Yes. So don't get it twistedly. Close, close, close enough. So by next month, when you guys get this... get to the honor of hearing me on the podcast again, our little baby here will be a year older. One year older and wiser too. There you go. Is that from some musical or you made that up? You don't know that? No. Is that not part of the birthday song? What birthday song? One year... Is that a Mormon thing? They must be. It might be a Mormon thing. Yeah. No, it's like part of the birthday song. One year older and wiser too. We don't have a... No, we don't have a birthday song. Except for Happy Birthday. Oh, you don't have a birthday song. That's a Happy Birthday. Yeah, but they don't say that one year older and one year older. Are you sure it's around the second verse? No! I'm gonna need to look this up. I'm gonna need to look this up. I'm gonna need to look this up. One second. One year older. I know our Mormon queens and kings and thems are excited to hear this Mormon song right now. One year older and wiser too. I swear. I swear this is in the birthday song. Let me see. I mean, it's not in the Happy Birthday. I swear it is. They're not to graduation songs or children. What? Is this a graduation song? No. Oh, maybe you're saying that you're like fifth grade graduation. No. I swear. Wait. Wait. Oh, oh. Mm-hm. I swear this is a song. I'm... But why is it pulling up graduation songs for children? Because it's probably your older and wiser. I'm not sure whether you're older or... I'm not sure if you're older or... Why is it showing me photos of that baby? You know what, type in that lyric and then type in Mormon, and then I'm sure you'll find it. I don't know. Mormon song. This might take me to some dark players of this. The only thing that's coming up, oh, I'll charge you this cross.org. You know what I mean? Yeah, oh my gosh, I think it is. It's a birthday song. You've had a birthday, it's a hymn. You've had a birthday shout hooray. We want to sing to you today. One year older and wiser too, a happy birthday to you. Oh gosh, it's a Mormon song. Oh, it always comes back to the church. It always comes back to the church and jays grass and later they say. Well, that's cool. I mean, at least you remember something nice from it. Who said it was nice? Well, I mean, it's a nice little. But now I'm having trauma of every birthday party that I've ever been to and I shout, one year older and wiser too. And no one actually knowing what that's from. I thought that was the second verse of the happy birthday song. Yeah, no. Okay, well, needless to say, that means I'm going to be one year older and not one year wiser. One year less Mormon, literally. There you go. Anyway, let's give us your update. What's going on in your world? I don't think I have any life updates. We went to the beach this weekend. I did the Betsy Pride, Betsy Johnson Pride party. And that was kind of, I went to the beach on Saturday as well. Just me and my friend Claire, shout out Claire. And yeah, that's kind of it. Just been hanging. I went out a few times over the weekend, but not drying again. Yeah. So it was just having a ball chilling. Yeah, it's been nice. I think, I mean, we need like a little break. I mean, I still went to the bars Thursday through Sunday. So it's like, I don't know if I really feel like I got a break. I just wasn't drinking. I never got a break. But I'm so exhausted. Well, by Thursday through Sunday, you mean like Monday through Friday. Because you, you stay at the bars. You didn't shut up, bitch. I don't know what you're talking about because every time I'm at the bar, you're at the bar. So, correct. Correct. Anyways, what are you doing for the Fourth of July weekend? We got a holiday. Gosh, I have not gotten that far, you know? I have not gotten that far only because have you not gotten that far or has no one invited you to anything? Well, also that part. But no, the reality, I mean, my day to day, you know, my nine to five. I'm busy with those happenings. So it's a hard job. I know. But no, I just been busy with my nine to five that day. Because you got an event. Yes, yeah. I've got a work event with with. So I've been dealing with that. So I haven't even gone that far to think, what I'm doing with the Fourth of July. Well, I think it's time you start putting your country first. And you start thinking about our day of independence. Correct. Correct. It'll be, it's also falls on a Tuesday, which is so random because I don't know if I'm off Monday. I don't, that feels un-American. Yeah, I think you have that Monday off. Everyone has Monday off. I mean, I guess so. Like, I don't, like, what are you going to be doing? No one's going to be getting anything done. The holiday is, you know, the one Fourth of July. I know, but like, you don't work on Saturday, Sunday. So then it's like, well, I'm going to come in one day and do absolutely nothing. And then I have the next day off. Yeah, it's very weird. Yeah, I feel like. Yeah, it's very weird. But I have no plans. What are you doing for the Fourth of July? In fact, what are you doing for the Fourth of July? Because I feel like you have plans and you haven't told me anything. I'm celebrating my independence from your ass. Oh, oh, okay. No, I don't know. I think Tess is having a barbecue on the actual Fourth. So I'll let you know if it's an opening, by it. Cute. Cute. No, I don't know. That's like, oh, Sunday, I have a friend's birthday. I'll let you know if that's an opening. No, that's fine. No, no, no, no, I don't know. I'm open, I'm chill. I maybe want to go to Newport one day. Oh, cute. See the twins. Yeah. We'll see. Yeah. Newport's always fun. Yeah. So if you want to come, have a beach day. Maybe if maybe I'll look at my calendar. I might be booked. Okay, okay, okay. There's suddenly my calendar's booked in busy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you always have so many plans after that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Wait, do you have a song of the week for the little tyrants? Oh, wow. You're going to ask me about a song of the week. Well, every time I share my song of the week, it doesn't, it doesn't make the cut. That's not true. You've never told me a song of the week, and I've never taken it out. Yes, I have, and it didn't make the cut. And so then I'd never give you a new one. I don't think that's true. I said I liked the new Taemin Paula song a month. You can't. Did I cut it out? Yes, it never made the cutting room floor. Wait, that doesn't make any sense to me. I don't think that's true. Unless it was an accident. No, it's fine. Do I have to cut out your song of the week? I don't know. Why would I ask you if I was going to cut it out? Was it a dumb song? No, it was a song politically not able to be on a podcast? No, it was the Taemin Paula song that was on that movie that I went to see that one. Oh, no, that was it, eh? No, it didn't make the cut. Oh, maybe because you went on a rant about that stupid movie. Well, the movie was great. You should watch it. Anyways, wait, what's your song in the week this week? I will cut it out. No, I promise. Okay, okay. Two songs. One new. Two Valu. Well, two Valu. Two songs. One is the new competitors. Okay. Don't get any better. Mom, they're giving you one. No, no, no. Oh, well, I'm going to do a little throwback. Okay. The new Kim Petra song with banks is really good. I don't know the name of it. I think it's called Bay. Well, you've got to look up the name. We've got to let the Taemin know. Your Wi-Fi is not on. Oh, my Wi-Fi? Or has someone not paid their phone bill, Mom? It's called Bate. Bate. Yeah, so Bate. Oh, no, you know it? No, I said Bate. Before, I think it's called Bate. Yeah, so Bate, Kim Petra's banks, it's a really, it's a really good song. Kill. I thought it was one of her better ones on the album. Okay. I think that's like my least favorite one on the album. Really? I haven't like fully listened to the album like and given it a chance, but. Oh, and then I saw someone post four in the morning by Gwen Stefani recently and that's my little throwback jam of the week. Sing it. Give us a tune. I don't know. You know four in the morning because it's four in the morning and the tears start rolling in and I want it. Nope. Keep going. Oh, it's so good. Four in the morning is like, I can't. I don't know. I can't. Like I have to hear it. Okay, okay. I've never heard it. I don't think. Is it like what album is it off of? Like Sweet Escape? Her second one. Yeah. I think I might have been six. It's the same. It's the same album we're cools on. Okay. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Have I told you the story about cool? No. Please tell me. Okay. I'll tell you a little tyrants, which speaking of I just ran into him last weekend, my first ex. And literally like we broke up. We've been broken up for a while, not in communication. And all of a sudden one day I just get a link to a YouTube video. Gwen Stefani. Cool. Literally. That's it. Just the YouTube link. Cool. And I'm like, we haven't talked in probably like months at this point. We're broken up. And I clicked the link. Watch the video. And I'm like, am I missing something? I'm so confused. I just responded to him. I'm like, wait, what? And he's like, I don't know. I just really love the lyrics. It really made us think of us. And how after all that we've been through, we're still cool. Wow. I was like, that's the cringiest fucking shit I've ever seen in my entire life. And also, we're not cool. We're not cool. We're not cool. When you send someone a link and you think we're cool, that's not cool. If you send me a link to a YouTube music video after the two years of absolute torture that you put me through, and the lyrics are after all that we've been through, I think we're cool. And you lead no explanation. And then when asked for explanation, you just say, I don't know. It just really describes our situation. Sir, you need to go to a mental institution. Right? No, that makes no sense. That's not an adult way to communicate. No. Anyways, my song of the week is a song that I've just really embraced because we all know I'm based in California, bitch, era. U wedo's got her top off. It's finally summer. I just cut my hair. I'm kind of giving like chat vibes. That looks like my name should be like Chad with her new haircut. And I've been listened to American Girl by Bonnie McKee, driving around and read over the top off. Palm trees, hair flowing. Is that the one that goes, um, American girl? Oh, wow. Oh, good for you. She is. It is a perfect pop song. Yeah. Summer Song. Oh, and there's a lot of people out there July. Oh, it's about America. Oh, and I'm obsessed. Yeah, it's a stunning song. If you want to get in the American spirit, if you want to get in the summer spirit, if you are not able to attend Los Angeles this summer, but you want to get in that California basic bitch era with me, listen to American Girl by Bonna McKee. Ooh, she's got some bangers. She's a very underrated pop girl. Okay. Do you not like, do you not agree? Do you not like her? I don't know her like that. I guess I only know American Girl. I probably will know her songs if you sang them. I just, you know who she is. No. She wrote all of Teenage Dream. Katy Perry's song. Oh, well, I mean, you're a Katy Cat. Katy Cat. Yeah. Well, no, but she's just like, she's known for like writing every, every amazing pop song from that era like she wrote. Oh, okay. Cool. But then she tried to release her own music, kind of like a Julia Michaels. Yes. Everyone just, it busted, but it's so good. Which is like, I believe it. Like as I didn't realize, this is a little segue. I didn't realize BB Rex wrote a lot of hits that we don't know about or that we do know about. But like, yeah, yeah, she did. And that's one of my topics that I wanted to talk about. It's not really a totally random thought, but that bitch who threw his phone at her face. Oh, yeah. Deserves actual jail time. And I think he's actually gonna get jail time. I would hope so that was painful. Did you see he admitted that he threw it on purpose and tried to hit her because he thought it would be funny? Yes. So if you guys have no idea what we're talking about, this fan like threw his phone at BB Rex's face at her concert like two weeks ago. And she literally has a black and blue eye and had to get three stitches. No, it's funny until you realize how aggressive. I mean, you look at a video like that. You're like, oh my god, someone threw something and then you're like, oh no, it's a cell phone. She immediately fell to the ground. Right. Oh no, it cracked her nose. Oh no, she had to get stitches. Like, it all started to go, oh, the guy admitted that he did it on purpose to try to hit her like scary. It's very, very scary. And then did you see what happened to pink today? Or last night at Rachel? I saw that. Someone threw their mother's dead ashes. Yes, dead ashes. Dead mama's ashes on the stage. She was not well. And you guys think pink picked it up and was like, um, is this your mom? And they were like, yeah. And she like said it down. She's like, I don't know what to think and she continued singing her song. And she was like, shook. That's crazy. I do not throw your dead mama at me. No, especially while I'm like, like on stage trying to perform. No, it's so, that's so crazy. No, that is. And also like, wouldn't you want to keep your mother's ashes? What do you think pink's going to do with them? I'm sure it was just like her arm. It's a Viva's leg. It was a please. I'm sure it was only part of the mother. Yeah, I would hope. But still, I'm like, okay, wouldn't you want to keep your mother in tact on that? I know, it's not very sanitary. No, what? I'm sure pink like had to get some testing done or a panel just for safe purposes. Make sure she didn't breathe anything crazy. It's like, just like in today's climate, like you can't put, you can't throw something on stage. I'm going to be thinking it's a bomb. No, you might be too young for this and maybe all your listeners are too young to this for this. But do you remember when people were scared to open their mail? Again, we're back to mail. Fucking snail mail. Fucking mail. We always go back to that. But remember, there was like a time in the early 2000s where people were sending SARS in the mail and people were afraid. But the hell was the SARS? It was like a virus. And people were afraid to open their envelopes because they didn't know what was going to be in there. And people were getting like these envelopes from like no return address label or anything like that. And like, I have to Google like what it was that was actually the mail. But it was like, people were really afraid to open their mail because they didn't know what they were going to get. Yeah, that's terrifying. And I do not remember that. Yeah, I don't remember that. You've under been a baby. Okay, wait, before we get into some of our totally random thoughts, I've got some questions for you. Oh. We're closing out Pride Month and I just want to speak to your gayness. When did you lose your virginity? The people want to know. Well, in an episode recently, I talked about losing my virginity and some of the tyrants stand and wanted to know your experience. Oh my God. Okay, well, okay. I mean, public knowledge, I've been with both, both sides of the... Public knowledge, not to the little tyrants. Oh, okay. Well, I've also, Jose used to be engaged to a woman. A woman. I don't know if I've talked about that before, but I love it. And we're not going to go into depth about that. But if I'm in a stranger in the bar, I tell him. I love it. But we don't care about the girl. Just tell us about the boy. Oh, boy. Or how old were you when you lost virginity to a girl? Like 18. I was a grown person. Late bloomer. Yeah. Well, also yes, because I, yeah, no. 18. Well, because I was, you know, I was, I had... A thick arms? Yeah. I was a thick arms in high school. I wasn't like... Am I allowed to say that? You're fine. You might maybe will. I was a little thicker. He was a little thicker and it's a cure, but he was cute. Okay. But whatever. I think it was like, yeah, 18 or 19, I think. Okay. Okay. And then... Nothing to write home about. No. I mean, it's just something that happens and you're like, okay. Now, what about your homosexual experience? Homosexual. Then I got like, obviously obsessed with working out and then I got into, you know, my, the gauge and the, they call it. And I think they're like 26, 27, 28. Oh my god. You're my age. 28. Yeah. That's crazy. And granted, I mean, I won't get into detail, but like, it was very like, surfacey stuff. No, no penetration. Right. It started very, very safe. But, okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Well, I expected a more fun story, but I guess we'll move on in my next... What do you want me to do? I mean, this is not an ex-rated episode. No. My story was like, cute and fun and like, on a tarp and Utah in the mountains. Well, yeah, because that was cute and fun. Okay. Well, I'm a cute and fun person. Exactly. Okay. Anyways. My next question that I had for you was a little trivia. Okay. Are you aware of what the pride flag colors stand for? As a tie-french pride enthusiast, I think you should be aware. I do know what some of them stand for, but I know they stand for... Were they stand for like... Like I said before in this episode, he is actually at heart a white Republican woman. Like I know it's listening to like yellow and light men or something like that or like... Okay. Let's just run for them real quick. Yes. Okay. Red is life. Orange is healing. Yellow is new ideas. Green is prosperity. Blue is serenity. Violet is spirit. Black and brown is people of color. The white blue pink is for trains people. And that's not... Yeah. I think flag. Yeah. Yes. Like the original flag has like some different meanings. So my tie-french pride ones are actually out of date now. Oh. Anyways, just wanted to expose that you were a fake homosexual. I don't know if you remember. Do you remember what I did? I tried to do like a pride shout out for all my gay friends and I had you as one of the colors. And I think you were the yellow one. Oh. Because I think I... It was a ray of sunshine. Well, I think I took one of your like, daffodil or whatever sunflower pictures and I... Yeah. Wait, why didn't you do that again this year? Oh, yeah. I haven't done anything. I haven't done anything years. I did like a little pride series. Yeah. Where we're proud. Where we're being gay. My next question for you is, what's one of the gay songs you've heard? Like if you think like just like gay song banger, what do you think? I think peacock by Katy Perry. Oh, that's a gay song. I want to see your peacock, cock. Like, can there be a gay or song? Yeah. Boys Charlie Xaxx. Okay. Mm-hmm. That's a great song. Yeah. That's a great song. Okay. Who's your like gay icon? Like mine would be like Lady Gaga or RuPaul. Britney Spears. She's not even gay. No. But Lady Gaga is not either. No, but she at least like has the Bourbon this way foundation that literally has donated millions to freaking... Oh, okay. Okay. I guess I guess I just... She's done so much for like the... She was the first artist to ever sing transgender in a song. Oh. Oh, yes. And this way. Born this way. Mm-hmm. Who would be like my actual gay icon? Like did you have like an idol that like helps you like come to find yourself like Lady Gaga? Like what's like I listen to art pop all throughout high school. She's like, you know, was like my gay waking and then RuPaul like introduced me to the world of drag. Yeah. Um, am I your gay icon? Were you the reason why? No. I think so. Let's see. I don't know that I had necessarily have a gay icon, but I mean, I would think Britney Spears would be a gay icon. I'm sorry. I think that counts as like a gay awakening, but I wouldn't say like she's a gay icon like in terms of like who she is, but like I'm like, what are she done for like the gay community? That's up and brace it. If you actually look back, she has, she's always supported the gay community. Okay. Okay. But I don't know. I don't know. I don't think I ever like looked at anyone like that. Yeah. Like I'm just gonna say it's me for sure. Sure. Sure. Let's get into some totally random thoughts. People this whole episode has already been just totally random banter. Um, but Jose, what do you got? I've heard you have a fun list for me. I do. I do. Okay. You finally is carrying his way and came prepared. Wow. Um, well, I have, okay. Well, I'm gonna ask you, okay, do you want me to go like dark like, okay, guys, you know he wants, he loves to talk about people dying. So I guess let's just get it out. Well, you know what? It's crazy because today in morbid news, oh gosh. Did you, I know it's not, it's actually not that morbid. But did you see that they found a hiker that was lost for five months and they found his remains today in the mountains? Jose, think Roma, what kind of podcast do you think that we're running here? No, but I just thought that was so crazy because he, I mean, five months later, they find this, this man. And it's con, like he was on a hike, but then made me question, I'm like, where? In Mount Baldi, which is like one of the mountains closer to L.A. And I'm like, at what point, and I mean, I don't mean to sound morbid, but yes, I'm going here. Oh my gosh. No, no. At what point, like, do you stop a search if someone goes missing? Because I'm like, how did they find this person five months later? And granted, it was some other hikers that found the remains. Yeah, they weren't still searching because they stopped searching after like, like you can hire like private, like people to like still search, but like, I think the government, like stopped searching after like, I don't know what it is, like, like a week. Yeah. I don't know because, yeah, it's like the submarine people are submersible people, whatever you want to call that thing. I'm like, at what point were we going to stop searching for these people? If the thing hadn't imploded, yeah, once the oxygen ran out, yeah, which was close to that day. I think they would have looked for like a few more days, but like to finally debris, but yeah. Anyways, thank you so much for starting this totally random episode off with a banger of a question that is so sad or IP to him, um, and with another one. Okay. Okay. I have a, I have a more lighter one. You need to redeem yourself. Well, so we did talk about no heart feelings, the movie, okay? And it reminded me of how much like, I love Jennifer Lawrence at the beginning and then I kind of like loaded her because she just kind of got annoying in the movie. No, just like no, in real life. And now I'm back to liking her again. And I was like, oh, because like, I don't know how much you know about Jennifer Lawrence like what she, what she's like, been in. But I was like, she's a very interesting person because I feel like she got pigeonholed into being a drama actress after she did like winter's bone. She did like American hustle and like, I can't tell you one movie that she's in hunger games. That's it. But I've never seen all of them. Right. Right. Okay. But for her, for getting out of that role and like not pigeonholing herself into that like, oh, she's a superhero or whatever world. But then she went into do all these dramas and then she was winning awards and being quirky and like, oh, I fell on stage and it's like, it happened more than once and then she's kind of got awkward. Okay. And it was just kind of like girl, all right. We get it. You're a little, you're cookie. Okay. You want to be the cookie girl. Well, at this day, come girls. Well, and then she like, then she obviously went away for a little bit. She became a mom. She's married now. Yeah. Which you don't realize because I still look at Jennifer Lawrence like a hunger games like Katniss. Yeah. Yeah. I cannot picture her being a mom. It's so weird. And she's gotten hotter. I'm like, damn. Whatever surgeon she's got, I'm like, I want. No, she looks amazing. And I feel like her having no like social media or like social presence or like doesn't do interviews or anything is like really beneficial to her to her career because we don't pigeonhole her into anything like even like Reese Witherspoon. I feel like I just see so much about her that like now like even when I saw her in the morning show, I'm like, you're no longer an actress to me. Like you are just Reese Witherspoon. Right. Like I just see you as Reese that like it's hard for me to like view you in this role. Same thing with like Sarah Jessica Parker. Yeah. Like the new carry like I'm just like you're just Sarah Jessica Parker like you're playing yourself. Not even playing a character that she is just like MIA from everything. So I can still like get into her being a character. But I don't know. I've never really like Ben. I didn't really ever watch the Hunger Games. I never saw Mother. I don't even know what else she's in. Like I've seen her in stuff and she's an amazing actress. But I don't really like know that much about her like care. So I don't have that much passion as you do. You obviously just are well, but she's like come out like come out of this whole like yeah. She's having a resurrection. Yeah. Like her little height, her Renaissance. She's having a Renaissance. Come on, Beyonce. She's she's having a little Renaissance and so and I'm here for it. Like she was so funny, which I didn't know she had it in her hilarious in the movie. She I won't get really funny in real life. I won't give away much from the movie. But there's a scene in there that I'm like, Oh, I had to Google like was that a body body double. It was her actual body. It's insane. And she's naked. Full on. Full. Take them tailed. I want to see them. No, it's full frontal. Full body. Full body. Which was like so cool. And she was just so funny. The movie. I mean, that scene alone was funny. But like the whole movie itself was funny. The little kid was funny. And I watched because I like the movie. I watched the hot ones. Her hot ones thing. She was so funny in that. I was like, did you see her on watch happens? Yeah. Less night. I didn't watch the whole thing. But did you see that she threw up after the hot ones? Yes. I was like, what? Her hot ones was really funny. I need to watch it. I need to watch it. And I don't like hot ones. I think also I think that guy's thing is weird. But like from the clips that I see on TikTok, it looks fun. I remember watching like a full one. Well, you know it's crazy because that's what a lot of people know it as. It's just like TikTok clips. They've never actually seen the full YouTube video. I mean, hey, I'm sure he's still making a shit ton of money. Right. So anyway, I'm here for Jennifer Lawrence. I'm excited to see what happens. She came out of retirement for this movie. So she obviously was very passionate about it. And I can feel her passion. Or she needed that check. Mama. So I don't think Oscar winning Jennifer Lawrence needs a check. You got to keep up with that lifestyle. Mama, you got to go on a retirement forever. Right. Very true. Anyways, my totally random thought is the homosexual urge to be best friends with your high school best friends mother growing up. Wow. Okay. That was a lot. Did you ever have that experience? No. Yeah. But you, you're like, I know what you mean, you're best friends with Billy's mom. I'm best friends with all my friends mom, like in high school, like I was best friends with Billy's mom. Tosh. I love you. Shout out. The twins mom, Gilly, like literally I lived with her while they were away abroad. And my best friend Kendall's mom, like I like we always just loved her Karen. We love you Karen. Like my best friend in elementary school, her name was Makia and her mom literally was like an icon. I was at her house like every day. We're just like go play like clay with her like, oh my god, clay. But I'm like, what is that? Or maybe? Well, show trauma between me and my mother, I was going to say that we can go deep in this conversation because I'm assuming that's called mommy issues, but I don't want to go there. No, honestly, mommy issues, I don't think it's like I would keep it like I honestly think it's just like you just like hanging out with older women. Like you traveled a ribbon, you probably looked up to them. I probably wanted to be them or probably wanted to be the exactly anyways, give us your next totally random thought. Okay, this one's a lighter, but oh, actually, no, I'm going to go with one that's really fun. And maybe you didn't know this, but somehow I have fallen into this TikTok trend or not trend, but TikTok world. Did you know that your Jeep has an Easter egg? You did know. You did know this. Yeah. Hello, okay, you've seen a TikTok, but did you know before the TikTok? No, did you go look for it? But like I knew that, but I saw that TikTok during like COVID. Oh, you did. Yeah. Oh, it's just came to remember if I found it. You don't know because it was like in deep COVID. I think I was at JC's house. And so for, for the listeners, if you have a Jeep, I urge you, or a jeep, is it just a Jeep Wrangler? I think so. Oh, okay. If you have a Jeep Wrangler, go outside or inside to your garage, wherever you have your Jeep Wrangler, and go search it because there's an Easter egg. And if you don't know what an Easter egg, it usually, it just means that you're the company put some type of random thing in your car. It's like a hidden, it's always like a hidden animal. Yeah. For, for Jeep, it's a hidden animal, right? Yeah. Like there's Easter eggs and like Disney movies where you'll like find other Disney characters. Yeah. The tyrants know what Easter eggs are. Okay. I'm just saying. I don't know. I don't know. Hop of them are Swifties. They know full well what Easter eggs are. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Okay. I don't know if I found it. I want to say I did it and I want to say it was a lizard, but I could have made that up in a dream. Well, I also saw that most people do have a lizard, but I'm trying to be sexually different. Well, I've seen like some people have full on maps, like under their car maps. Oh, I thought it was always just an animal animal animal. No. Someone said they have a map layout of Detroit, which is where Jeep's are made. What the? Yeah. Interesting. Okay. I got to, I got to do a hunt on breed all of you guys know what you got. Yeah. It's probably on the roof that we've taken off. So you're going to have to go. Yeah. Which, speaking of, you all know I'm having a ball of a time with Rita's top off, but since we had such a late start summer, I think I already got to put it back on because it's getting hot. Oh, yeah. And I got black leather seats. So it's getting hot and this weekend it's supposed to be 80 degrees. So and your seat to heat up quick. I think I got to put it back on. No. You just took it off. I think we leave it off till past 4th of July. No, mama. It's supposed to be like 85 degrees this weekend. Yeah, your car's going to be on fire. Those leather seats are going to be on fire. So stay tuned. Stay tuned if I have to put the top back on because I'll be very upset. Okay. Something needs to be discussed. Okay. In grave detail. Okay. Bathroom attendance. Okay. Why the fuck is there someone? Oh, bathroom. A hot plate. A restroom. Listening to me shake my pants and then offer me a slice of gum after I walk out. I'm washing my hands, looking for a fresh towelette or a napkin or something to draw my hands and I have to get it from this person who just listened to me absolutely destroy the bathroom in there. And then they hold out their hand as if I need to give them a Dolores. No. A dollar. Sir, I'm just here to shit. I just need to go to the restroom. I'm not here to tip. I'm not here to get some gum. I'm not looking for a gas station. I don't need a mint. I don't need a gum. I don't need a condom. I don't need anything. I want to go do my business and better yet I want you to not be it. Wait. I'm having deja vu. I want to talk to my bathroom. No. No, I think we talked about the door. The door. No, I think we talked about bathroom attendance. No, we have this. No. We have not. No, I remember our episodes very well. I'm having like a huge wave of deja vu. Wow. No. I think bathroom attendance should be bad. If we've already talked about this, then no, we really haven't. We really haven't. I'm having the weirdest deja vu I feel like we have. No, we haven't. Unless you spoke on it on your own and I just missed it. Either way, that's how passionate I feel about it that I will talk about it again. Like I get, if I am in the comfort of my own home and I have someone over, I will turn on the faucet, even if I'm in pain in my own toilet, in my own home. I don't like people to hear the sounds that come out of the restroom. Really? So for me to not be in control of the faucet in a public restroom with no door lock and there's a person standing two feet out, that is just a level of anxiety and fear that I don't need in my life. Right. I mean, one thing we have talked about is how much I enjoy going to a public bathroom versus how much, like you rather go at your own home. Like I rather go in a public restroom. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, then go defile my own home. I want to be in the comfort of my own home. Yeah, but no, this whole, the whole bathroom attendant thing is really, really weird. I think should be bad. It's such an old school like club or bar mentality. It feels like bar mentality. Like I don't know if this is the right word, like derogatory or like demeaning to like whoever is the bathroom attendant. Like yeah, like I want them to like have a job and I don't want to like take away jobs. But like also your job is to stay next to me taking a shit and then you have to hand me a paper towel and like hand me, like I'm just like, ew, I hate that. It makes me feel like I live in literally like the 1940s. Right. Because especially because it's never a white guy in there. And I'm just like, this makes me feel so weird. That I'm like at this nice restaurant, I go in, there's typically like a Hispanic, a person of color, whatever, as is bathroom attendant. And like you have to hand me a washcloth for me to dry my hands. No. Okay, it is not 1940. No. And then you don't know how to dodge them because you're like, I don't want to not tip you. But I don't. It has cash these days. Right. And also we already know tipping is getting out of control. Oh my God, wait, that's on my, that is on my list today. Okay, let's just wait for that. Tipping is getting out of control. Now I've got a tip just to get a napkin to dry my hands. After I wash my hands after I take a shit, why do I have to tip you to get a napkin after I just took a shit in the restaurant that I'm already paying $200 for a meal? This is out of hand. That's so crazy. I have tipping culture on my list of things I want to rant about today. Okay, well, you've got the floor. Well, no, you're perfect. You, you've said it like correctly. I mean, you've said everything I was going to say. Like tipping culture is getting out of hand. I do not need to tip the drive through attendant. Like why are you asking me if I want to add a tip for my wapper? Like he's in his Burger King era. Y'all know. And honestly, I just realized why I'm in my Burger King era. No, because Burger King has invested $400 million. No, maybe I'm overbellishing it. No, maybe I think it's about right. Either $40 million or $400 million dollars. That's a big fucking difference. I'll tell you what it is, but they are really trying to like revamp what Burger King was. It's called, so they spent all that money on a rebrand? On rebrand marketing. I thought you were going to say like charity or like something for the environment. No, no. I thought you were like supporting him because they spent $400 million into making their meat healthier and this and that. No, they just re-did their logo? They just re-did their marketing. And like they really want to support. Well, no, now it's in my face again. So like now I see Burger King again. I hear the jingle, which I didn't know went viral on TikTok. You know, at BK, have it your way. Anyway, maybe you haven't fallen victim of the BK jingle but the Jack and the Crack talk. But yeah, they spent so much money. They, it's called reclaim the flame, which, you know. But so what you're telling me is that through this rebranding process, you get to the drive-through and they ask you for a 10? Yes. No, no, no. So what you're saying is they didn't spend $400 million on this rebrand. You are spending $400 million on this rebrand. Correct, but why? This is why. And it's like so uncomfortable. And I hope you're listening. I'll let you know. Sorry. I was gonna say, you're here. Sorry. Your listeners have to understand. Like, maybe not the hot take, sorry. No, it's not that I don't want to tip, but I'm like, why am I tipping you for my Starbucks coffee that you pre-made for me? No, no, no, no, no. There are many things that I will not tip for. Right, and if you're not giving me a service, then I'm giving you a service charge. Right, you almost fall victim to it because you're like, you feel intimidated. The person's right standing in front of you, they turn that little thing around the clover machine. I also feel like we have to unionize. Everyone knows that tipping culture has gone so out of hand, but people continue to do it because they know that they can get people into tipping. But if we all stop tipping, they'll finally have, like employers will finally have to pay their employees what they deserve. Right. It should not be up to me to pay your employees. It's up to you to pay your employees. Yeah, I think we're gonna reach the tipping point, get it? Tipping point? Where we're just gonna stop tipping. No. Because California is already expensive as it is. Like you cannot leave your house and go get a latte and then expect me to give you almost 25% of this latte. Yeah, no. Like why am I giving you, you know. Especially when it's Starbucks, and you just literally like, port it like this. Duh. Right. And if you, you know how I feel about how my McDonald's soda is now $1.79, guess what? How much a Starbucks coffee is these days? It's just about the same as if you were going to a gourmet coffee shop and getting a $6 coffee. I mean, a Starbucks coffee is now like $4.50 inflation. It's like insane. And then on top of that, you want me to tip this person, which like are we back to Karen's? No, I hope not. But like, there's a lot of things we're giving, we're giving Karen energy. There's a lot of things I should not be expected to tip for. But, you know what? I think I'm a Karen sometimes. Like, sorry, I'll admit it. Sorry. I'm a Karen sometimes. If you're annoying, sorry, bitch. I'm gonna let you know. Oh, well, yeah, that's a whole different thing. But yeah, no, tipping has gotten out of hand. I'm not, yeah, I'm just not tipping as much as I want to or can. I just, we can't. It's hard out in these streets. My next totally random thought is, what is happening when your stomach is growling? Wow. What is going on down there? Because half the time, my stomach's very noisy. I'm not hungry. I'm not full. What's going on down there? I was on my date the other day and we got sushi. Perfectly fine. Nothing weird about sushi. Right. I get home or maybe doing a little kissy-kissy. Growling up a storm, growling up a storm. I'm like, I'm like, sir, can you keep it quiet? Because this is the first boy that I've made out with in a while. So, keep it low. And then you're like, you probably have to, the sound low, you're probably like in a nice, intimate moment. Oh, there's no sound at all. You're stomach is like. Oh, you're like trying to cough and you're like trying to hide it? That noise you just made deserves jail time. But that's exactly what was happening. Right. And, you know, yeah. I didn't know what to say. I was like, I'm sorry. I don't know why my stomach's growling. I was like, maybe I ate too much. Like, I don't know. But like, my stomach wasn't upset. Nothing but I feel like my stomach is just always growling. And I'm like, what's going on down there? Well, maybe you're malnourishing. You need to feed yourself some more? No, I just eaten. That was the point. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm just being funny. But I'm just like, what is the purpose? What is the biological purpose for the noise is happening? Is it to tell you that you're hungry? Guess what, bitch? Just ate. Okay, so that's not it. Is it to say, yep, skip, dip, dip, dip, dip. Leave me alone. Stop making noise. Right. No, not it. I mean, similar but not. I was, I remember this very vividly. I was taking the SATs, which I don't know. Did you have to take the SATs? I never took them because I didn't go to college. Well, I was just talking with the boys about this this weekend. Yes, you have to take it. I was like, no, you don't. I'll maybe go to college. Yeah, you don't have to take them if you don't want to go to college. Like, or if you're not going to go to college. Like, if that's not in your plan, and I didn't. Yeah, like you have to opt in to do take them in high school. And I definitely wouldn't have passed. But I remember vividly I was in my SAT exam and my stomach was growing. And it was so embarrassing because I'm like, all these people are trying to take the test. You know, it's like dead silence in there. Like people remember that from 40 years ago. Bitch, I have a really good memory. Okay. And you know, I have a really good memory. But yeah, no, my stomach was rolling. It was not a similar situation like yours. I don't know what I would have done if that was your situation because that's just awkward. And you're like, I don't need to fart. And you want to tell this person like, I don't want to fart. Well, that was the thing. It's like, I think he was like, oh, like we can stop. And I'm like, you don't have to stop. You just might have to deal with some noises coming out of a mouth. I don't know. And you know, like I'll say it. Yeah, like you, because it's like, it sounds like you need to go to the restroom. And like, exactly, but I'm like, I don't know. Like nothing needs to happen. There's just noises and I don't know. Turn up the music. Yeah, turn up the music. Yeah, not not good timing. Wow. Needless to say, I did not get laid. There was a lot of fear there. Oh, so annoying. What's your next really random thought? Okay. Here's a very interesting one that I want to talk about. Have you ever noticed that when you go out, let's say you're at the mall, right? Let's say you're at the mall or whatever. Some are probably going to JCPenney. Okay. Wow. Yeah. You're walking to JCPenney and you see that yellow wet floor sign. Okay. Now let's talk about that caution wet floor sign. How wet is this floor? Is it all around? Is it just a one spot? Like they usually put it right over the wet spot. But like, how wet is this floor? How do I know I need like a tape? Right. I need it to be taped off. Like, how do I know to stop? Where do I walk? Cause then now I'm tiptoeing up when I come up to this wet floor because you know how I am afraid of falling in random places. No, I don't know that. I talked about this to you. These are the things that I can be afraid of. You're afraid to fall in random places. Like, imagine you're just walking. You just fall. I don't know where. Well, I think anyone would be afraid of that. Wait, or like this is gold I was saying about like entering. And does that like haunt you? Yeah, like entering an elevator and you're like, oh, like, we were talking about last time. Okay. That kind of like fall like on a wet floor. Right. Or like me being on the treadmill and running in the accidently tripping on myself. Oh my god. Like those kind of moments. But I'm talking about like you're on the wet floor and you're just like, tattata and you're like, oh, I'm coming up to a wet floor side. How wet is this floor? Haha. Like, yeah, like how far around do I have to go this side? Yes. It's so random but I was thinking about it cause I was like what I think I was going to the Zara to sell this weekend, and they had a wet foresight in Zara, not even outside, like in Zara. Oh no, how do I get to the shirt? Right, or just like, those ills are, ills, you know, little are small areas. So I'm like, oh, I guess I have to go around now. Also, why is it wet? Why is it wet? Is it pee? Did someone go into labor? Did they spill their coffee? Like, I need to know, caution, wet floor, child vomitant, we're cleaning it up. Caution, wet floor, woman went into labor, right? I want to know how far away I have to remain from this scene, is it a spillage? Is it a leak? Right. It's just a lot of questions, a lot of unknowns. Because there's not many caution signs, they usually put a caution wet floor sign if the escalator's not working, and I'm like, oh, so you're just gonna put this wet floor sign? Yeah, it's like a warning. Yeah, I'm like, you know what they should have? This is an idea, this is an idea for a software engineer product developer, AI specialist. Ooh, they should make signs that are AI that, you know, scope the scene. You have a situation, you put down the sign. Let's go about the scene, and then whenever someone walks by, the AI sign tells you, warning, woman just shit her pants, I would stay clear about four to six feet, right? Or, hey, there's a leak in the ceiling, watch your head. Exactly, walk around probably about one foot away from the sign. Exactly. We need to put AI on this. Because, yeah, how do I know it's not a wet ceiling? This ever happens? Oh, there goes my stomach, did you hear the growl? No, my stomach is making weird noises. Oh my gosh, I forgot to tell you that another reason why we couldn't film this on recording, because I had the spiciest, that's why my stomach's growling. Are you the spiciest fucking Chipotle burrito right before you walked in? Uh-huh. And my lips, I almost thought I was having allergic reaction, my lips were on fire, and they were puffing up so big, there's my stomach and it's growling. I heard it. I heard it this night. Maybe the issue is spicy food. Uh-oh, it's called ulcer. What? Yeah, you can have ulcers. Do you? I guess I'm just a noisy... So, tune into the next podcast. It's going to be his stomach growling the whole hour. Literally. Anyways, my next totally random thought is, did you know? Sorry, I got to let my stomach growl. Did you know that second to water? No, let me ask you a question, okay? Second to water. What do you think is the second most consumed material on Earth? Oh, wow. Not like consumed like ingested, just like the second most like, right. I think. Carbond dioxide. No? Okay, well, I mean, I don't think like we got to get technical. Okay, not science. Like before the air. Not sciencey. Okay, okay, okay. Like a thing, like a material that like you would use or that you come in contact with every day. Oh, I mean, is it copper? What the fuck do you touch with that's copper every day? Penies. I know you're working with pennies a lot, but I'm not counting pennies. Wait, is it copper? Yeah, it's a penny, copper penny. Okay, yeah. And no, it's not a copper. Concrete. Oh, I get it. I mean, yes, yes. That's crazy. Concrete is the second most used, no, consumed material on earth. Wow. Second to water. Like, there's not a concrete, but that's also like, that's insane. We are really fucking up the planet then. Yeah. We got to make more woodhouses, wood roads, cobblestone streets. Anyways, I just thought that was interesting. My next totally random thought is military time? Have we talked about this before? We vaguely talked about it, but I don't think we've ever gone there. Idiots. No, it's crazy. If you send me a schedule and it is in military time, I'm not coming. Oh, we know when we did talk about this in Mexico. Guadalajara? Yes. I'm not going. I'm not figuring that out. Because it was on our, yeah, it was on our tinerary. Because I will get the time wrong. Right. I remember when my dad went to the military when I was in seventh grade, he switched his phone to be in like military time to like get him ready for business training. He was in, and I was like, no. He was in full character mode. Full character, fully going to the bit with talking military time. I'm like, I am in seventh grade. I'm not figuring that out. I'm just a skinny little princess. No. People that have their phones in military time, when you live in the state of California, or in the state, if you're not in the military, you're a picnic girl. You're a cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo. You're giving picnic energy, and it's weird. You're giving what? Pick me energy. Do you know what that means? No. Ah, Jocelyn. Yeah. Josefina. Josefina. We really got to teach you. It's like, you know, you just like, like, oh, who's the drag queen that we hate this season? Alexis Michelle. Oh, yes. She's a pick me. Oh, okay, I get it. I get it. Like that, just like, I get it. Always makes it about you. Always like, like, fine, you can have the role and then cries. Like just like, you just like an attention whore. Right. No, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, that's my, that's my rant. What's your next totally rare part? My next one is, I'm going to ruin L.A. for a lot of people. Um, okay. I'm going to ruin palm trees for a lot of people. No, I saw that TikTok. I'm devastated. Wait, I don't know if we're going to tell about the same one. Okay. Go. Well, my palm, well, no, my palm tree rant is, did you know that they are in a rat's nest? Yeah. But that's gross. No, we like rats here on the typhoon's podcast. We love our little tyrants in our little tyrants in our little rats, the rat kings, but yeah, Brad, but not actual rats. No, I've talked about this before. I think who decided what's cute and what's not? It's like my wildflower story in my gay pride episode. Who decided that a rat is not cute, but that you can have a fucking guinea pig? Well, true. Who decided what rodent is cute or not? Who decided that a pigeon is disgusting, but a parrot is beautiful? All birds are created equally and they are all beautiful and they all fly high above the pretty low sky. All rodent should be created equal. This sounds like a mountain song. Now, if I see a rat in my home, other than me and you, there might be a situation that needs to be discussed. But no, if they live in the palm trees, great. Have fun. They live in palm trees. Yeah. And you know what else does in palm trees? Especially in Arizona, probably not here. What? Scorpions. Really? Well, that's fine. I would rather do it with a rat than a scorpion, because guess what? I've been stunned by a scorpion. I was a very beautiful experience. I called 911 and they told me that I could not call 911. Okay, you've been stunned by a scorpion. Yes, and I wanted to literally die. How did I not know this, A, and B, what did you do and what happened? Okay, so let me set the stage. It's, I'm in the eighth grade. First, I moved to Arizona. I'm the new kid on the block. I live with my cousin. Okay. My mom, my three sisters, and me, lived with my aunts and uncles and my cousins. Yes. I mean, my cousin on the same age. Me, my sister, and my cousin are hanging out in her room. She's an Ed Hardy bedspread. Okay. Brandon, gorgeous. Really setting the scene. I'm laying like across the bottom of her bed. Okay. Like opposite, perpendicular to be exact. So you're laying on the hearty. Yeah, yeah. I'm laying across the hearty. And this is probably one of the only times in my life where I truly believed in God. Oh, wow. Because all of a sudden, I feel the sharpest, like literally like someone stabbed me. In my knee, right on my kneecap. And by the grace of God, God's hand reached down out of the clouds and grabbed me by the back of my shirt and phoned me into the closet. Like literally like levitated into the closet. And like I like jump up whatever. And then I see this scorpion crawl down the bed. And I'm just like blood curling screaming. Like literally I could not have been screaming louder. And like my aunt, uncle, my parents, like everyone's like running around. Like, what happened? I'm like, oh, scorpion stuck me. And give a mind. This was my cousin's bed. We never found the scorpion. He's probably still in there. Wow. And so like my leg is literally on fire. Like have you ever sung, been sung by a thing? No. Oh, a bee, yes. It's like that times 12,000. And it was like right. I think it just like hit me in a specific spot, like in my kneecap. So like my whole leg went numb. Like, and like we were from Utah. I only had the only thing I knew about scorpions was like literally like the mommy returns. Like I thought like you could die from the scorpion thing. Right. So my mom's calling 911. Oh, no. And they're like, man, you cannot call 911 for this. Like an Arizona, that's like a common thing. It's like a bee sting, but we didn't know. Right. And so then like we call poison control. And they're like, oh, put just like a warm watch cloth on it. Like there's nothing you can do. And the weird thing about it was like, it was at night so I was trying to go to bed. But literally I did not sleep the entire night. I had nightmares the whole entire night. I was like dripping in sweat. And like it would be like, I would be like shaking. Like it would hurt so bad. And then it would go away for like five minutes. And I would like think it'd be fine. And then it was like I got stung all over again. All of a sudden like the pain would come back. And I'd be like, ah! Literally going to school the next day and my whole leg was numb. Like it'd be like very long. It was insane. Yeah. So that's crazy. That's, I mean, you, because we're not, no one can see this because we're not on YouTube. But because I'm literally just like a plump lips in my ugly haircut. No, I'm literally just here like flabbergasted. That's crazy. I don't know. I don't know anything I've ever met anyone stung by a scorpion. I know, I'm just like so unique and very cultured. Right? Mm-hmm. Interesting. So many life experiences. It's really like, shaped me who I am, you know? But interesting though, because like, I mean, maybe I'm just a little not smart. But like, I thought all scorpions had like venomous venom in them. They do. So freaking bad. But, I mean, I didn't know you could like, live to tell another day or like, like they didn't know. No, yeah, like they don't. I'd like to take your leg. I think there are certain like species of them or like whatever it's called. That like probably are deadly, like in like Egypt or whatever. But yeah, mostly the ones in Arizona are fine. But the scorpions in Arizona, the smaller they are, the more it hurts because it's like a, like baby snakes. Right. Like when they sting you, they don't know like how much to like let out. And so mine was like a small one. So that's why like it hurts so bad. Like there are scorpions that like if you get stung and like it's just like a bee sting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But mine was a tiny little bee. I would never want to experience that. It was heinous. I don't know how we got started talking about that. When we were talking about, I don't know, something random. Something totally random. Welcome to the episode. Oh, we were talking about palm trees. Oh, yes. Okay, but so my rant that I thought you were going to say about palm trees is I saw this girl's TikTok and I don't know the validity of the story or the facts and I'm really, really hoping it's not true. But apparently, like I knew that palm trees aren't native to Los Angeles. Right, very not so. They brought them in. Like an invasive species, whatever. Blah blah blah blah. You want another lifespan of a palm tree? No. About a hundred years. Oh, wow. When were they planted? The 1920s, the 1930s when LA was being developed. Oh. So this girl was like, I have to break it to you all, but the thing that makes LA so iconic all the palm trees or whatever, by 2030, don't give me that. And gone. No. No palm trees. I don't believe that. I think like we'll solve like the ones on like Roaddale Drive, whatever, like the thick ones, but like all the tiny, like little ones, like in downtown LA and along the freeway, I think are gonna die and like literally fall over. Wow. I'll be devastated. Yeah. That's like the best part of LA. Right, right, right. It's what people come for. It'll completely change the LA skyline. Like forever. That's crazy. But I'm like, dude, some ecologist. What's it called? You go all, you go environmental. Geologists. Geologists. Someone that deals with some fucking plant. Biologists. They not think about that. And plant some like 20 years later. But I think we have. We planted new palm trees. No, I'm sure there will be some like throughout the city, but like the tree line streets. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's crazy. I didn't know that part. Unless they found a way to like genetically modify them, like I'm like, keep them alive. I don't know. Because I mean, that is also weird. How do they stay alive? Like they're basically around concrete. I think they just like require like very little water. Right. They're like interesting palm trees. I feel like they're a very easy plant to keep alive. Very easy tree. Yeah, I mean, I guess maybe that's why they grow in the desert. Yeah, like I think that's why they do so well here. Right. No one's running to the desert to feed them water. So they're about to be Oslo Wigamuchacho. And I was devastated. So come back to the trip and ask them about 10 years and we'll have an update. I didn't get, I didn't, I've never been fed that video, but I'll find it and share it. Crazy. Yeah, very sad. Okay, my next totally random thought. We talked about this. Where the rap's gonna live? Where the rap's gonna live? When all the palm trees die, where the rap's gonna live? They got to find a new home. Harabee. Harabee. Anyway, let's continue. Okay, my next totally random thought, which I vaguely talked to you about this on Beach Day Sunday. Okay. Sand castles. Oh god. When you're an adult and you devote your life to a hobby that requires so much meticulous attention, right? Like there's sandcastle competitions. There's like sandcastle shows. Okay. Like, it's just an art form. Yeah, but like, is it... I just don't understand like putting all that work into something and then it's literally just gonna get toppled over. Washed away in like five minutes. God forbid there's a wave. Oops, there goes my sandcastle. Yeah, well I don't necessarily agree it would particularly waste that much time myself. I do think that there are weirder harbys to get involved in. I think if I came across a six sandcastle, I'd be like, rad dude, you're cool, you know? Like bird watching. That's a random hobby too. Yeah. You're going outside with binoculars and watching birds. I don't think I would put those in the same category. Sandcastle, I feel like requires a lot more skill. Yeah, I get me, yes. And physical activity. Like it's like, it's like going out surfing. You're out, you're in the beach, you're catching some rage, you're building, you're using your hands against cardio. Yeah, I mean, I guess I haven't looked at it like that, but I guess I have such a jaded, like how do you feel about children doing it? I think that's cute. I think it's cute, whatever, like have fun, but like also your castle doesn't look like a castle. It looks like you just took buckets and... Oh my gosh, well they're not building fucking Cinderella's castle. But they think they are in their heads. Yeah, and like, you know, they'll put like their little toys in there. I mean, I'm sure I did it. Like, they'll put their little toys and it becomes like a fort or a castle or whatever. Should we build them? You try to build a moat. Did you ever try to build a moat? And successfully did. Yeah, you try to dig the little hole under with your fingers. Absolutely. Yeah. When we were at the beach on Sunday, there was these kids in front of us building like this giant home. It wasn't even a sandcastle. It was just a hole. No, they were just digging a hole, which I'm pretty sure is illegal. But poor little Coco wanted to go dig with them and hang and they were being so rude and they would not let her play the parents like have grabbing the shovel out of Coco's hands. And we were like, um, who do you think you are? You don't know who you're dealing with. This is Coco. This is the Coco. And like, Coco went over there and over her the kids and they were like, not well. They were like, we haven't had water. I'm so tired. My hands hurt. And we were like, um, sir, like who is forcing you to dig this hole? No. Please give up. Yeah, no. Yeah. How kids... Kids, I guess. You know, whatever. Coco, try. Yeah, let her jump in there and dig a hole. Yeah, come on. I think that's... I think that's what gets me. It's like when a little kid's hobby becomes an adult hobby, that's where it gets a little weird for me. Because do we have any hobbies that were, our hobbies as children that... I mean, like, painting. I guess, you know, you have like artists and stuff that become world renowned. I'm talking about us. What are your hobbies? What are your hobbies as a kid? Because mine was dressing up in dresses, and I do still do that. Yeah. No, I don't have any like real hobbies like that. No hobbies. Not like... No, not like crazy ones. Very fun life you live. I... So what you're telling me is that you drink and you work. And I go to sleep. Awesome. Okay, great. Well, now I know why you're so bitter to these adults that are having fun and living through their childhood and just going to stay in councils because you didn't have a childhood. No, you know what, that's crazy. I haven't... I've never thought about that. Do I have a hobby? I mean, what do you consider a hobby? I like reading. Like mine is like photography. I like reading. No, I don't know if that's a hobby. I like... I mean, that's like just an activity that normal humans do. I like watching television. I like documentaries. Once again. Again. Once again, normal activity on that every human does on day-to-day life. No, like, you know, running. That could be a hobby. Oh, I like running. I love running. But that was a latent hobby. I picked that up into the adult. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just like giving away the example. Oh, yeah. I like writing a bike. I like what did you do as a child? Writing bikes. Like roller skating. I love in-like skating. I wish I had in-line skates. Buy them. Yeah. But then I'm like, wait, no, get them. So then we can go along the boardwalk. Because I just got my new skates. But have you... Okay. But again, here's the reality. Have you ever seen an adult person in-line skating? Yeah, it's every day on the boardwalk. It looks so weird. Oh, let's do it. And we're going to get raised. And that's going to get you killer legs. I already have killer legs. That's the one thing I don't have to worry about. Are the killer legs in the room with us? Yeah, right. You jerk. Anyways, do you have any other last minute, totally random thoughts that you want to give the tyrants before we say, Oslowegg and Wuchacho? I do. I have a list today. Oh, my gosh. She's prepared. When have you ever seen a pigeon give birth? Lay an egg. Never. Because I think they're real. They're not real. I think they're fake. Sir, sir, sir. Let me change that. Change that question and create a narrative in your brain. When have I ever seen a pigeon lay an egg? When have I ever seen any bird lay an egg? But you've seen bird eggs. Yeah. And I've seen pigeon eggs. I'm sure. And no, you're not sure of that. Because you know what? It's not housing. I go around the freaking bird nest. And be like, Oh, yep. There's a seagull egg. I know it. But you're like, your parents are, well, I don't know if they have this in Utah. But like, like birds lay eggs in trees. Oh, do not have birds in Utah. Well, no, but I'm saying like we were used to seeing little blue jays. For example, like, yeah, I'm not going around and mosing in their homes. Like, where do pigeons have nest up in the freaking telephone towers? I ain't going up there. Exactly. When have you ever seen a baby pigeon? No, I don't think they're real. I don't think pigeons are weird. I need to do a whole rant on conspiracy theories. We've got a lot coming up. So maybe I'll add the birds to it. But add pigeons because I know a lot of people think pigeons are fake or robots. Yeah. I think people like that need to seek serious medical attention and psychiatric facilities. Because what do you mean they're not real? I don't know. I think that maybe some of them aren't real. I think there's maybe a spy in there one or two. Just walking around the earth. Like a little robot drone. I don't think they all are. Well, that was one of my last two. My second one is not that interesting, but very interesting. Not that interesting, but very interesting. I mean, it's interesting for me because I was like, oh, this is kind of exciting. It's exciting for our world. Well, I know you talked about overkill, right? We've seen the Barbie promos since February. And the movie just still has not come out. It doesn't come out till July, whatever. But I came across a thread this morning on Twitter of all their marketing that they've done. I kind of am over it. It's insane. They're having a collection with bays. They're having a collection with a rugable. They're having a collection with like literally every single company on the planet. And I kind of like, it's kind of ruining it for me because no matter how good the movie is, like, it's just too overhyped now. It's overhyped. And that's what I literally wrote. Is it overkill in my thing? Because like the Jennifer Lawrence movie, like, it's probably so good because like, I've seen billboards of it and whatever, but like, I don't know anything about it. I don't know. I haven't seen that much. They haven't done like a collab with a company or this or an influencer of that or whatever. Right. They literally just did their press interviews. They released the movie. They have billboards. Great. So I'm so excited to see it. The Barbie movie, like, I was so excited to see it and I still am. But I'm like, it definitely is overkill. It's a lot. It's literally my thing says Barbie's marketing is insane. Is it overkill? Yes. I see like another thing. Another company do like a collab with Barbie and not to mention the new Nicki Minaj and I spy song. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's terrible. It's bad. And like shout out to Nicki, but like, girl. It's terrible. It's not. Have you heard the snippet of the new Charlie song? No, I haven't. Oh, it's going to be so good. Is that on the Barbie track? Yeah. Soundtrack? Yeah, yeah. But I saw like a leak of it. No. No, on TikTok. Yeah. Like, some of the small things, like, something else Barbie announced. And Xbox themed console. Jail. Like, who's buying that? No one's buying that. No one's buying that. A real estate. And then they just said like the house on Airbnb that you could rent in Malibu. It's not too much. It's like, here's the thing. Love all that. Maybe do that after the movie's a success. Right. Like, let us at least let you know if we like the movie. It's, they're putting so much money into this and it's like, what if it fails? What if the movie sucks? They had a progressive ad with flow. She did a progressive ad. I can't. With Barbie. And flow. It's kind of too much. Like, it's, it's a lot. I'm like looking at these things. I'm like, yeah, you talked about. It's kind of a gruel. It's kind of a gruel. Barbie pink for me. Barbie. Pinkberry. You can go to pinkberry and get the Barbie flavor. Yeah. Whatever that is. Yeah. It's probably just strawberry. Sorry to break it to you. Literally rugable. Like, really? Yeah. Well, skates make sense. Cause that's like fine. Yeah. Um, floaties. Look, just a bunch of shit. I'm like, sorry. I don't, at this point, it's a lot. And I'm over it. We're administrators. No. I mean, I just think I mean, honestly, budget, love. I wish I had that kind of budget to do what I do. But it's kind of like unnecessary. Right. Like everyone was already pumped for the movie. Everyone was going to go see it. You didn't need to be doing all that. No. Give it to Burger King. They need it more. But I think, I don't even think, I don't think it's Barbie the movie. Like, there are all the, all these collections that you're, that you're, it's pretty metal. Yeah. It's crazy. So like, I think Barbie, the movie is doing a lot, but I think Barbie, Mattel is like taking advantage of this opportunity. Right. But they're kind of ruining it. Like I'm kind of over, I'm kind of over the hype. It's a lot. It's too much Barbie and too much pink. And I'm just like, ugh. Just another thing we're ranting about. Stay tuned. I know. I still need to, I need to see that. I need to see the Jennifer Lawrence one. I still, guys, I still haven't seen Little Mermaid or Avatar. What is wrong with you? I don't know. You know, I just don't like movies. And here's one of my favorite movies. And here's the thing you guys. So he, it goes on record. He just says he does not like movies. But I still want to be invited. I text him every time I'm going to a movie. And I'm like, hey, I'm going to go watch a movie. Just letting you know if you want to come. But he never says what the movie is. So I never feel inclined to go. That's the issue. You knew about Little Mermaid. Yeah. You go at the worst times. No one wants to see a fucking movie at Sunday at 6 p.m. Two hours before we're supposed to go out for the night and go to a party. After I see a movie, I'm going to go to bed. I'll still wake up with Chacho. Well, that's a hot take because I feel like movie watching during the day is ideal. Nope. Like I don't want to watch a movie at night. Nope. Nope. I think you are alone in that statement. Let's let's let the tyrants relax. Let us know. Let us know tyrants because I'm a day movie person. I can sit at like 2 p.m. Give me a matinee. Give me a diet coke. Maybe some popcorn which bloaks me. And I'm going to have the stomach growls. But you know, 2 p.m. movie. I deal on a Saturday. Then I have my night free. I can go out. Still. Nope. I'm in bed. I'm see you later. But I love that for you. Okay. Anyways, I think that's all we have for you guys today. My little tyrants. I will see you guys on Friday. But thanks Jose for coming back for another totally random episode of totally random. It was so much fun. I just love to have you. So much fun. So nice. So nice. So nice. So nice. Sorry. And it's so crazy how people don't realize where that comes from when you and I say that. And I'm like, you guys don't know what it comes from. Yeah. It's from what movie is that from the one with Emma. Yeah. Yeah. Easy A. Easy A. Yeah. So nice. It's been so nice talking to you. No, no, no, no. We always say easy A. But it's not easy A. It's house bunny. Oh, house bunny. Yes, it is. So nice. It's been so nice talking to you. And she starts to talk. And she's like so nice. And then the old ladies do it to her too. So it's just a thing from the house. The alpha cap or whatever. What a movie house. Great movie. But thank you for having me. This has been so nice. The tyrants just love you, love you, love you. Oh, well, I love them. It's been so nice. It's gonna be best. So nice. Thanks for listening and stay tuned for next week.